"AV (Adult Video), a tool for men's sexual fantasy,"
"a world of men domination."
"What if one day, everything is overturned,"
"and the roles of men and women have swapped..."
My name is Wyman Chan. I'm a writer,
pen name "Touchez Moi"
I write erotic fiction
for newspaper.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Cuz it requires certain writing skills.
For examples, boobies,
I'll refer them as Pinky Peaches,
and vagina as the Waterfall Cave.
She is my girlfriend. She is also a writer.
A well-known
romance novelist - Ceclia Jik.
A few years ago, her lovey-dovey novel...
THINK OF YOU IN HIS ARMS has gone to 10th printing,
sold as much as Hong Kong Map.
A sentence of hers worth
more my whole column.
Look at her, elegant and decent
But actually she has a dark side...
Harder!
Harder...
Left turn!
Wait a minute, left turn?
Is it like driving?
What a dumb-ass!
Every time I have to remind you! Like this!
Remember? I taught you so many times! Like this!
It hurts!
Am I hot?
Of course!
Look at me!
Why are you pushing so hard?
Go deeper!
Why are you digging so deep?
I am about to come, let's come together!
It's coming.
It's here.
I came already.
You didn't scream when you were cumming.
Yes, I did.
I cried out, "Wow, it's here, I came".
But your eyes didn't even flip once?
Yes, they did!
You could see the whites,
as if I was blind
Really?
Really!
Let's have a round two, now!
Again?
It's like this...
Sex has traumatized me.
Larry, stop rushing me,
it's almost done, just the ending now...
What? I don't need to write anymore?
You can't just scrapped an adult section like this.
Do you know how many men in Hong Kong
rely on my work for their jerk breaks?
Have you ever thought of me working in the sports section?
Let me refer you...
Everything can be found on the internet now,
the adult section is a goner. I'm now in the religion section.
Yesterday featured The Gospel, today is Buddha.
Buddha is good!
Simon, we are really doomed...
I know, the adult section is scrapped,
I won't last very long here either...
Ah, the world is changing!
Who knows pervert business would die out one day...
Look at you,
selling pirated porn here, that's stealing...
But now you can't even survive as a thief!
What has become of Hong Kong? The city is dying!
You're wrong,
the city is dead.
But I think that pervert business would never die.
Think about it, what is the origins of humans?
It's by being horny!
If humans are not horny, how do we exist?
There must be a way!
Yes...But now everything on the internet is free,
who would pay?
Content is more important than a freebie.
Do you understand? A great content!
We don't fucking understand.
In Hong Kong, there is "Home Ownership Scheme",
for porn DVDs,
there must be one that satisfy perverts' crave!
Let's ask the gang to invest a few thousands each,
and invest into making an AV.
We can film whatever
we want as we are investors,
and the gang can also go to see the on-site shooting.
We three can sell the movie out...
and split the profit.
But shouldn't it be quite expensive to make an AV?
Not exactly!
I have asked around. The cost of filming an AV...
can be a few thousands to a few hundred thousands,
it's entirely up to you.
That's right! We can work around the budget.
Think about it,
a Michelin food tour costs the same already,
and there is no guarantee you would be full!
An AV production trip will definitely attract so many people!
It's really feasible!
I have a friend who sends me AVs from Japan regularly.
Have her arrange the trip,
and we can even sell our movie to the Japanese after!
Great. She can have half the profit, we have the other half.
It seems that everything is coming together!
If it's for real, I'm interested too.
Who are you?
I'm here to buy porn.
A few thousands for the real stuff,
I think my friends will be interested too.
You see? Our first investor!
If we succeed this time, we can do it for long-term!
Let's do it then, I am getting so turned on already.
Just talking about it give me a stiff y!
That one's great!
That one there - "Bed your wife". Give me that one.
Fuck! Why the fuck are you buying! Go home and download!
Talk show!
- What talk show? - David Letterman works here!
- He is really famous. - This way...
By the way, who is the woman
that helps us to make this AV?
She is a Hong Konger, but has lived in Japan for a long time.
It's her who sends me Japanese AVs
to make pirated ones.
This time she has helped us a lot.
Look, the one who is squatting there is her.
Hatoyama!
It's here.
Up the stairs is a paradise amid these busy surroundings.
It's quite a secret place.
It fits what we come for.
I have a bad feeling about it.
This is yours,
yours,
yours“.
These are yours.
I will show the special rooms in a minute,
I can assure that you will all be so wowed!
Wow!
You see? It really 'wows' the fuck out of you!
The special thing of here is you can slide in and out,
it's a fucking great feature!
It looks just the same as a morgue!
Of course not!
In a morgue, you are wheeled out, here you do it yourself.
Now I know a place that's
worse than subdivided flats!
How can we live in such a small room?
If you see it as a locker,
it's actually fucking huge!
Excuse me, you are Shitdog...
Shodaiko Hatoyama.
Miss Shodaiko,
you are right.
We should always look at the bright side.
We don't come here to stay in a five-star hotel, right?
That's right!
Our money should be spent in the right place.
Yes!
Our energy should also be used in the right place.
Thank you very much, Miss Shodaiko!
You are welcome!
Shodai, touching balls... is your real name?
Or your hobby?
My mom gave me this name.
- Your morn likes to touch balls... - Yes!
Fuck, would this be a set-up?
Well, what I fear the most now...
is this Shodaiko will be the leading actress in our AV.
Now you are really scaring me!
It won't be that bad, I have already told her...
we only want a famous AV actress with big tits.
Don't you think that you guys are actually quite pessimistic?
You always assume that we are being set up.
Then what should we do?
Think about it, as a man, we have seen AVs for decades,
and have jerked off thousands of times.
But tomorrow will be the first time
to encounter a real AV girl,
and have our own AV.
Shouldn't we have an ablution...
to welcome this sacred moment?
An ablution?
Raining is actually not too bad!
It will be even heavier tomorrow...
How do you know?
AV girls usually have really big and "heavy" boobs...
Tomorrow is gonna be better.
Look everyone,
here is the holy place of AV...
and also an all-in-one studio.
Look over there, a clinic...
where "Hot and Steamy Nurse" is often filmed.
Here's a classroom,
where "innocent School Girl" is filmed.
Isn't it fucking amazing?
Wow!
Hey!
This bed is the one I've seen in many AVs!
Take me a photo...
I fuck you...
I bang you...
No! Stop!
Your eyes are really sharp,
many AV actors have actually creamed here.
Where exactly?
Generally it's there!
Under a UV light,
it will glow!
You see!
Good morning, everyone!
This is the director, you can ignore him.
Oh really? At least bow and pay a tribute like in a funeral.
I resign myself to your guidance!
Hello everybody,
this is Miss Yui Tatsumi.
Hello everyone, I'm Yui Tatsumi.
I am here for your guidance.
Yui Tatsumi. F Cup. Former Race Queen.
Her nickname is "the Queen of Race Queen"!
Feeling excited is understandable.
But if we don't start the shooting,
it won't be finished on time.
It's actually quite dull.
Yeah, it's so boring.
Cut!
Miss Shodaiko, please translate for me.
Ok.
To be honest,
I think that the AV actor's performance is so-so.
He is so predictable.
Now that we have the final say,
I think he can try the hardest position right from the start.
- Great idea! - The hardest position? What is it?
Let's try...
The Helicopter!
Excuse me,
The Helicopter...
He can't do this one? Never mind.
Let's try a 69 then?
This one is not bad!
Whatever you say, it's not possible.
He can't do this either? So useless.
Let's try something simpler then, The Pile Driver?
Wait, wait a minute. What happens?
What is this? I can't do it if this continues.
- I understand. - Let's continue then .
They are the investors, just do whatever you feel like.
They said that shagging is a progressive act.
What? Have they lost their fucking mind? Progressive?
It's been like this for years.
Your AVs should take a leap, no?
I say, we should it do like this, right?
He says...
Are you looking down on me?
You guys know nothing about AV, shut the fuck up or leave!
What? We don't know AV? We are all professional audience!
You dumb-ass, we have watched pirated AVs for decades!
How many years have you been filming Avs?
- Shut up! - Oh, I am so scared!
Stop yapping, if you are so great, speak in Japanese.
Don't you have the least bit of work ethics?
Go film it yourselves, I quit!
What the fuck, how can he leave like that?
So unprofessional!
What can we do now?
Oh, the main actor is fucking gone!
Let's have another guy!
Let me make this clear,
lam only the middleman,
and I have already sold this AV's copyright,
if you can't deliver, you have to pay me back!
What? That serious?
You are so talented to be a traitor.
How do you know that she is not?
Why doesn't one of you take up the role?
She asked if one of you guys can take up the role.
Wow, it's actually in your advantage,
you cannot only see but fuck as well,
one stone two birds!
You're crazy!
Why don't you take part as well! Fucking crazy!
You go! The Helicopter is your idea!
Stop that, let's get someone quick.
Larry, I am so happy for you.
I've never thought...
taking you here can favor you in this way.
Let me go and buy you a Redbull and some condoms!
Hold on second...
I frankly cannot do it.
What the fuck!
A minute ago you were suggesting The Helicopter and such.
I really want to do it.
But my inner thigh has this birthmark,
it's so recognizable!
Don't be silly, everyone has a birthmark like this!
That's right!
But my birthmark is in a shape of Mickey Mouse,
I worry I would be sued by Disney if it's exposed in the film!
You are so annoying.
Wait a minute...
What about him? Can you?
What do you think?
I can't either...
Why not?
Mine is curved.
What curved?
Have you ever seen...
a twisted bamboo?
Hey, Tommy!
You are such a pervert, why don't you go?
I'm sorry, I have to confess...
that I'm actually a tomboy.
That's why I didn't remove my pants for the ablution.
You can't be fucking serious!
That's why you have boobs!
If you guys don't settle this now, I will chop you all in pieces!
You motherfucker!
Hey! Stop! Don't!
The Japanese triad is real evil.
I know one of them, his little finger was chopped off...
just because he bought the wrong brand of cigarettes!
What the fuck can we do now?
Listen to me,
as a Chinese,
we have this golden opportunity to come to Japan,
and to use our bodies to justly "punish"...
a Japanese girl without holding back.
Stop asking what our country has done for us,
we should ask in return,
what have we done for our country?
That's right!
Let's prove to Japanese girls...
we Chinese aren't the Sick man of Asia!
- Diaoyu Islands are ours! - Diaoyu Islands are ours!
That's right! Yui Tatsumi is ours too!
Ours...
Great!
I'm really happy-
It seems that we have reached a consensus.
So, who will be the Lucky Boy tonight?
You!
Ha, you silly boys!
Hello.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes.
Take her clothes off, you fucking moron!
Yes, yes, I'm doing it now!
Hurry up! Are you making a stew?
Why don't you do it?
Excuse me.
No! Stop it, no!
Don't worry.
No!
Can you just let me go?
I will pay you anyway!
Take the top off...
Take his pants off...
Don't...
It's in!
It's in again!
What's this?
She is gushing!
You guys are the worst!
Forcing me into all this!
He is so cute and funny.
Before I met Ozawa-san,
I didn't know women can actually take the lead.
I am a bit stirred but feel so happy.
I feel so sorry for you,
as you look so miserable in the film,
it gives me tears when I watch it.
Do you think that it can be pixelated more?
Excuse me...
Yes!
This...mosaic effect, ok?
Ok, 0k! No problem!
Thank you.
Hey man!
What's wrong with you? The mosaic effect...
is see-through! Can you make it more blurred?
Can you also not just focus on my dick?
Put a mosaic on my face as well!
No...
The whole face...Put it on the whole body!
Um...ok, ok!
You know what, blur the whole picture!
Don't you worry,
If you remove your glasses,
no one would recognize you.
Try now.