Omar, it's me own interpretation, ain't it
You need to find your center
Get off me leg Stop messing... Omar!
Omar! You are messing with my deIicate energy field here, alright
Okay. Okay
Find your center, Omar
Hello? You've got one chance mate. Yes or No
twenty million dollars can swing anything. You know what I'm selling
Well bugger me sideways Felix Desouza
you misguided wanker I'm aLready number one
ALways was a bit of a pillock, wasn't he Leo Durant Now he's a dead pillock
Dead? Hang on a minute, Feliox, it's my other line
- Hello - I need to find Felix
Ello Dawn
Time to scratch the itches, eh?
Well he's norrin' me fookin' wig-wam
Where does he hang out these days?
Hang on a minute, Dawn Felix?
Listen, me my associate and I have seIected you to deal with
Well aren't I just the luckiest bugger alive
- Stay there... - I don't fuckin' believe this
Have you tried Re-Fresh? The Pink Factor?
Yeah, all of them
Hang on a minute, Tiger just Iet me deal with this a minute
Let me taIk to him
The deal is 20 million dollars The deal is non-negotiabIe
The deal expires at midnight
Oh, Mr. McEIroy! Twenty million sounds fantastic
Yes!
Negotiation's for asswipes Mr. McEIroy
If you're not here by midnight I'll shit meseIf with woe
And I want samples, Mr. McElroy I want supersonic samples. I want thrust!
I want a hundred thousand mlles an hour of intergalactic... Spaciness
- See you - We're in the house
Hi ya, Dawn sorry to keep you. Listen
There might be one person who knows where he is
Fuck!
- What the fuck is that? - CongratuIations pal
That's your new Cooper
Mini Cooper
Have I got to sort out every fucking probIem here?
A laboratory. Or as you would say A lab-or-a-to-ry. We need a lab, Felix
Well I'm sure that's dead easy where you come from Fucking lab on every corner is it?
Piss off
Well shit in a bag and punch it. She's back
I need to find Felix!
And what do ya need from me?! A map and a fuckin' compass?!
ShirIey...
You broke his heart! Did you even give a thought about that?
- This was a mistake - Most sensible thing you've said
Are you still shooting people for a living?! What kind of fucking career is that then, eh?
- Look... Can I come in? - And do what?
The dirty stop out doesn't normally come home untiI breakfast
It's really good to be home
It's great to see you again, Iuv
I wanted to see the worId
Liverpool isn't the worId
I couldn't take America
It was like fucking AIbania in neon
And that stupid football shirt..,.
what kind of man jumps into bed shouting "Come on you Reds!?"
She made me Iaugh
Good shag though
I'll tell you, she'd kill anyone for me I'll say that for her
...He's got probIems
...She's got probIems
...I shouIdn't have come back
...I'm better off
I need everything on this list
Look, I'm dying for a smoke Ya got any ciggies have ya?
I'm sorry. Cigarettes are bad for your heaIth
Yeah, well so's a fuckin' punch in the throat, mate I need fucking nicotine. Now!
There's no need to shout at me I'm Pakistani. Not deaf
Take a puff on this
Oh, fuck off!
And you
You!
Dress wearin' uh... Monkeyboy. Monkeyboy!
You're gonna take them drugs of yours and make it work... for us
And where wouId I do this?
In my Iab
- You got a Iab? - Yeah. Of course!
What d'ya take us for? Rank fuckin' amateurs?!
Just say no
How the fuck did we end up in here?
One little mistake 30 years ago
All of these items are over-the-counter variety. Nothing illegaI here
Well you're no fuckin' heIp, are you?
I beg to differ
You see, it's not the ingredients themseIves which determine the effect
but the manner in which they're combined
These kids are getting very smart
He's right The Ravers are the key
Now aren't you the cIever little chunky monkey?
You keep banging on about my weight Now you are crossing the Iine!
Arthur. It's a joke It's a joke. SmiIe. SmiIe
You fat cunt
Yo! BIowjob
POS-51. Comes in bIue. Or race car red Destination. The stratosphere
OnIy this one.. gets you there in 60 seconds
- You try one first - Thought you'd never ask
POS-51 ... You can't call it that
Punters are gonna feeI like right tits standin' around
askin' for tabs of 4-3-8- I.O fucking U.... or whatever the number is
No one's gonna know what they're on about
These scumbags spend their entire Iife smacked out of their heads
Now numbers? They couldn't tell ya what fuckin' time it is
AIright, Mr. Smug What have you done?
I think the shit's about to hit the fan
coulda told ya it was a bad idea, Iads
Oh yeah. PIease. PIease. PIease
Oi! Brother's gonna work it out... brother's gonna work it out...
He's a chemicaI brother Mr. McEIroy! Welcome
- How you doing, man - SpectacuIar, Iad! Is what I'm doing! SpectacuIar!
Nice skirt. SpeciaI occasion is it?
You gonna be aIright up here on your own?
She's here...
Everything aIright, Iads? ProbIems?
No man. Nothing we can't handIe
Every chemicaI used in the production of this drug is one hundred percent IegaI
Not one ingredient is found on any known governments banned substance watch list
Hell, you can ship supertankers of this shit
You could even Iay a goddamn pipe-line And no one wouId bat an eye
P.O.S - 51 ... It's all that...
and it can be yours...
If the price is right
Chemistry
Mr. McEIroy
What is chemistry but the abiIity to attract adoration in others...
You see you're like me, Mr. McEIroy
You're a sky-highatrist I'm a sky-highatrist
See, I always knew I'd be a drug dealer even when I was a kid
I saw me dad hit me mother Me mother hit me brother
Me brother hit me sister and me sister fucked me father
So I suppose it's inevitabIe, really
I mean you'd have to be on drugs just to Iive in that madhouse, wouIdn't you!
Drugs are good Mr. McEIroy!
Drugs are our mates!
Fuck! I'm gettin' on me own nerves!
What I'm trying to say to you, Mr. McEIroy, is...
I'm very much attracted to what you have to offer...
How are you doing, Felix?
Well, me boss is dead
I can't get a ticket for tomorrow's match
And oh yeah I got a fucking bullet hole in me ass
Apart from that I'm tip top
So who's the target?
You've got that look in your eye
- I've been looking for you - Oh yeah?
For old time's sake or for the company I keep?
A little bit of both
So you have got me on your list then?
You've always been on my list
40 years ago, a rock 'n roll revoIution was Iaunched in this town
Tonight, we're going to Iaunch a new revoIution
One that will rock and roll your senses
And you are my test pilots
You're gonna kiss the sun and taste the mother-fuckin' rainbow!!!!
Are you ready!?
Then let's get ready to party!
Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?
Why didn't you stay with me then?!
What, me? In America? Don't be soft!
Besides, I don't know who you are anymore girI
It's been nearly two years I haven't heard a word
Still...
I always hoped...
You might change your mind
and come home
We could have a fresh start
Aren't ya gonna say anything?
This, Mr. McEIroy is a fuckin' miracIe
Drug use will reach epidemic proportions revoIutions will break out, governments will fall
20 million and not a penny Iess Where do I sign?
Sign?! Sign???
This ain't some written contract!
The kind of agreement I can take you to court and sue your ass over
If you fuck me on this deal
I gotta take out a contractjust to get even on the goddamned "contract!"
Now we think we have an agreement we think we see things the same way
Either we do, or we don't You're either in you're out!
You give me the money I give you the formula. Are we clear?
CrystaI, Mr. McEIroy. CrystaI I'm not Leo Durant, I'm a man of me word
Get in my way and I'm gonna have to shoot you
Get in my way I'II have to shoot you... again
I've got to work, babe
Fucking Cow!
Oh fuck!
Can't a brotherjust deal some goddamned drugs?!
Time to go, Elmo
Mr. Kane, is it that time of the month aIready?
Thought you weren't due 'tiII next week, you eager beaver
Ain't that always the way
Elevator music. A nigger in a kiIt... And a chick with a nickel-plated nine
And now a word from our sponsor
Now that ain't no Liverpool accent
- Say hello, Elmo - hello, Elmo...
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Elmo
And the Lizard is so full of mother-fuckin' fonderence for you
that he got on this plane just to come see you
- I'm touched - You will be
- You got my cash? - You're fIush, sweetcakes. You're fIush
He's looking forward to seeing you
So what's the price egg on my ass
It's enough, move
Last stop! Nowhere from here but down ReeI me in!
Now why wouId I dream of doing a stupid thing like that?
PuII me up, willya
- Fold or call? - What?
You pIay poker. Fold or call?
I'm your Iast chance, girI... I'm that out you've been looking for
I'm onIy going to make this offer once
You either take it like I did and get out from under The Lizard's ass...
Or you stay a sIave and wonder where your Iife went
You think you can save me? Do ya? Look where you are... Get reaI
A million in bonds. UntraceabIe
That's reaI... That's a fresh start
Try quitting whiIe you're ahead for a change. Dawn
- No - No?!
I want ten percent of your deal with Iki You're negotiating with me?
Look at your options
Ten percent... Have a look at yours
AIright
Now that is a IoveIy dress... Need the extra room do ya?
tell me something, I'm intrigued...
Is it true that you feIIas are equipped with incredibIy...
...Iarge...
What?
- Thanks - My pIeasure
You can move your arm now
...right then you scouse git
In the Iast 12 hours this city's gone from a peacefuI, fun-Ioving utopia
to an all out fucking warzone And I
VirgiI Kane, want to know why
Nobody cuts me out of anything in this parochiaI pisshole
Now you smeII that Felix, smeII it! SmeII it!
It is essence of Durant
Now Durant got what he deserved So when a deal goes down
You my old sausage will fix it. Time and pIace And then you will call me. Otherwise...
accessory to murder possession of a firearm
You fuck me and I'm gonna have you on your hands and your knees
with your arse in the air exposing your rusty sheriff's badge for the next 20 years
So ask yourseIf. Are ya gonna heIp restore some nationaI pride and stick one on the Yanks?
Or like the rest of your Iife Are you gonna piss it all away?
Are you gonna heIp me to heIp you?
Eight hours untiI kick off
It's a big game
Let's just see if you come good
Mr. Kane...
See ya
You'II never waIk aIone, eh mates?
HeIp me to heIp you... Cunt
How do you think that motherfucker wouId do against peopIe he dis, like
Soso, McGuire, Griffy They'd be knocking that shit out of the park
He can't throw that kind of heat Kevin's got what's going on here
You don't know what you're talking about
BuIIshit. Kevin Brown couldn't carry Sandy Koufax's jockstrap
You been listening to too way too much Vince ScuIIy, girI
You need to get your ear out of the radio and carry your ass out to the ball game
Sorry, but did I miss something?
What the fuck is that?
BIack Pudding Fried pig's bIood
Were you two pIanning on fiIIing me in or what?
- Elmo's propositioned her - Nice one, ShirIey...
I'm listening
The Lizard offered Dakota two hundred and fifty K to deIiver my Iive ass to him...
I made her a significantIy better offer...
...and I'm thinking she might entertain certain sentimentaI reasons for not doing herjob
He question is whether it's going to pay me to be sentimentaI
Look, we have a choice
We can use our "Get out of Jall Free" cards
Or we can choose "Stop". "Do not pass go" Do not coIIect twenty million dollars
Do we have a deal?
Do that again and I'II definiteIy fucking shoot you
Shut your gob! Go and get yourseIf cIeaned up
- And no shagging up there! - Yeah! No shagging up there!
We do this job and we get out
That's all we want, isn't it?
Just to get out
- So what's the pIan? - You tell me...
- What's the pIan? - You tell me...
Listen, it's gotta come from your beIIy, right deeeep down
It's your birth trauma Now cIeanse your chakras and Iet it all out...
- Let it go! - I'm tryin' y' fucking fairy...!
AIright!
allrightee! Good morning!
AIright, let's finish this deal
My sentiments exactIy
Any particuIar venue?
No airports. No hoteI rooms No dockyards, no barges...
no pharmacies or animaI testing Iabs
No roof-tops
RiddIes! RiddIes! I Iove riddIes!
...No abandoned warehousesor rave cIubs...
I want totaI privacy in a very pubIic pIace
And security Cops. Lots of them
...and witnesses. Thousands of witnesses Are you getting my drift?
Well, I got a certain business induIgence shall we say that I could utiIize
- So what time's kick off? - Three o'cIock sharp
I'II be there
Football and Drugs A perfect Saturday afternoon
Liverpool! Liverpool!
Come on... chakras
No no no, no no chunkster You're staying here
What for?
I don't know, keep your eyes peeIed on the exits and try, for fuck sake to bIend in, you cunt
- This cIown better deIiver - Don't worry
Iki put something like this together a coupIe of years ago now
Yeah? What happened?
They all died
We get in and we get out
What about the game? We're staying to watch the game right?
Dude, I'm in and I'm out
Good afternoon, gentIemen Welcome to AnfieId, the home of football
- You're damn right, pal - McEIroy, DeSouza
Oh yes sir, thank you. Take the lift to the third floor. it's the first door on your right, sir
Thank you
- Sir? - Don't you want to search me?
Guests for the executive suites are never searched, sir
... Right. I knew that
Welcome! Come in. Come in
Excellent
I am nothing if not hospitabIe, Felix Make yourseIf at home
I'm so excited I could shit
Mr. McEIroy, a drink whiIe I tell you about me pIans
Oh, I've got pIans Mr. McEIroy, big fucking pIans
No taIk. You want a 'beverage'
I'II fix you a beverage whiIe you get the 20 million
I'II give you the formula. We smiIe We toast. We pretend we're friends
And we go our separate ways
ForepIay, Mr. McEIroy is the onIy way to a good reIationship
Oh, Iki my Iove we're way past holding hands...
Twenty million in bonds. UntraceabIe
Is that supposed to be twenty million?
Well I'm not heftin' gold bars around the shop am I. It's not fucking "Goldfinger", is it?
Easy fIower Where's me formula
Wish you were here...?!
I'm fucking there Mr. McEIroy! I'm fucking there
An inspired choice I must say, my chemicaI brother!
Cheers
I never was one to be too sentimentaI
Elmo!
It ain't often a bIowed up mother-fucker
gets to chat to the mother-fucker that bIowed him up
You got that right
Usually the bIowed up mother-fucker has the courtesy to stay bIowed up
I'II try to be more accommodating next time, Elmo
Oh, cocktalls? What're we ceIebrating?
Oh, we're toasting our deal, Mr. Lizard
- Our deal - Not your deal
Hands across the ocean you might say!
Fucking twat
Elmo mixmaster
Cheers
I Iove your touches
- To a gIobaI partnership! - To a gIobaI partnership!
Fucking Iimey bastard
GIobaI partnership my ass!
My money is on good old fashioned American monopoIy you son of a bitch
Besides, EngIand ain't nothing nothing, but the 51st state
Don't you just fucking hate it when a motherfucker stabs you in the back!
The Lizard traveIed 12,000 miIes to settIe accounts with you
So what?
You gonna hug me and tell me how much you missed me? Or you gonna shoot me?
I'm sick and tired of fucking chasing your ass!
Now you give me my fucking goods and you give them to me fucking now!
You better chiII with that shit motherfucker. I own you!
- You own me?! - I fucking own you!
You own shit!
Go ahead, kiII me put me out of my misery for the first time in 30 years
But you will no Ionger take what is mine
Fucking right mate! And ten percent of that's mine!
- Five! - Five fucking percent of that is mine
You shut the fuck up! I don't even know who the fuck you are!
Oh, you got some big fucking onions, Elmo
This is the most expensive candy on the market
The drug's a fake you know
It's bogus. It's what we chemists call a pIacebo It's whatever you want it to be
You can run all the tests you want and it'll look like the best shit in the universe
But the ingredients they canceI each other out
Fucking confusing. The Lizard ain't going to heIp your cause, Elmo
Got to give big ups to marketing The abiIity to make peopIe beIieve
Power of suggestion
P-O-S 51
I don't give a shit Is this fucking science Iecture over?!
It will be in 23 seconds
It takes 10 seconds for an imbibed Iiquid to reach the stomach...
It takes the human body 81 seconds to heat that Iiquid to the point of chemicaI voIatiIity
You, have 12 seconds left
12 seconds? What the fuck are you talking about?
And what is the big fucking umbrella, Elmo?
Freeze! You, Iumpy in the caftan, drop the gun
Nice and controlled How's my timing, Felix?
Fucking perfect
That cleared me sinues
Drugs. They'll always kiII you in the end
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Shit!
Okay Iads get the cuffs on this cockney twat
As agreed
What about the drug?
You conned us
I conned them. We got pald
So, is this, or is this not worth 20 million dollars?
This castIe worth, I'd say more like seven. Seven and a haIf
Let's go see the game
Mr. McEIroy... you are a genuine McEIroy, like myseIf you say?
This is the tartan of my sIave master
I now claim his castIe and his Iands for my own...
I see. But will you not now be making your putt?
Aye
CongratuIations, Mister McEIroy
- An outstanding round of goIf - You ain't seen nothing yet
Well, I can tell ye it's the first time that's been seen on the eighteenth green
Elmo is in a house