1
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:08,694
     Where is the admiral?
     He summoned us here.

2
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:11,663
        The admiral's tour
        of duty has ended.

3
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,133
      What of the admiral?

4
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:18,370
     He has been subjected to
     disciplinary termination.

5
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,772
      I have assumed command.

6
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,308
     This battle group has
     consistently suffered

7
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,512
 the greatest casualties of
 any attack force in the fleet.

8
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:29,214
      His Imperial Majesty
      has sent me

9
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:33,819
 to take control of our
 attack on the Arcturus system.

10
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,788
     To insure our success,
     all ships

11
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:40,692
 have been equipped with
 enforcer drones to remove

12
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,562
   weak links in the command.

13
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:47,499
  Any deviation from the
  invasion plan will result in
  disciplinary review.

14
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:49,835
 Outrageous!

15
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,370
 The tide of battle
 can change in seconds.

16
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:54,940
 I'll not send my boys
 to Arcturus with

17
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,942
 an enforcer drone
 breathing down my neck!

18
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,384
     - I will!
     - Me, too. No problem.

19
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,412
                        Whoa!

20
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,704
        - Good morning.
        - Morning.

21
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,406
   Russell, anybody need a
   sheriff while I was gone?

22
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,275
       <i> Most folks don't</i>
       <i> know we've got one.</i>

23
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:06,378
 I like it. What are you up to?

24
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,780
             I'm set up by
             the new off-ramp.

25
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,316
 <i> What for?</i>

26
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:14,253
      I'm gonna catch
      Big Bean's first speeder.

27
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,755
 At least I know where to
 forward your
 Christmas present.

28
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,890
              Ho-ho-ho.

29
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,813
       - Excuse me!
       - You're excused.

30
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,750
      What's the problem?

31
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,652
        Nothing these two
        barrels can't solve.

32
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,720
         Hold on a sec.

33
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,491
 Why don't you give me the gun?

34
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:56,395
    'Cause I'm a crazy old man.

35
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,529
   I'm as likely to blow
   you out of your socks
   as give you the time of day.

36
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,766
     What do you think of that?

37
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,302
 It'd be a damn shame to
 shoot it out with you.

38
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,640
            I suppose it would.

39
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,581
 I was just gonna scare him.

40
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,352
 You scared me.

41
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,921
 Here.

42
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,323
 What's going on with you
 and the farmer's trust?

43
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:27,626
 This here is what's going on.

44
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:32,764
          Look at it.
          Look there and there.

45
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,667
 All right.
 Let me read it, okay?

46
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,770
   Go ahead. Nobody can do
   anything about that, no way.

47
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,106
        That's true.

48
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:44,743
           - Clambaker!
           - That's Klembecker.

49
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:48,413
 Steve W. Klembecker, president
 of the farmer's trust.

50
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:51,550
       Farmer's trust!
       My Aunt Suzy's rear end!

51
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:56,355
    One of the forward-thinking
    businessmen

52
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,658
      who convinced the council
      we needed a new sheriff.

53
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:02,994
      We never needed a sheriff
      until you showed up,
      you crook!

54
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,930
         Hold it. Wait.

55
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,633
 Did you send this letter?

56
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,869
      I believe that's my
      signature right there.

57
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:15,407
 I'm afraid the party's over?

58
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:17,576
           The party's over.
           That's correct.

59
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:21,713
    As per Mr. Wrenchmuller's
    loan agreement

60
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,083
 the credit union has legal
 right to assume control

61
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,652
              of the property
              tomorrow at noon.

62
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:31,790
 Unless he can come up with the
 cash or a crop to sign over.

63
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,925
      Nobody's got a crop.

64
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,728
 There's nothing you can
 do with the property

65
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,564
 - until next season anyway.
 - Sheriff Hoxley.

66
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,835
       Sheriff Hoxley,
       you're new here.

67
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,071
      Let me clue you in.

68
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,741
 You see, we have direct
 highway access now

69
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,512
 and the opportunity to turn
 this town into a metropolis.

70
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:56,681
 unless you've got the money
 to pay off overdue loans

71
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,017
 maybe you should stick
 to the kind of calls

72
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,186
 we hired you to handle,

73
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,855
 like keeping
 vagrants off the street.

74
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,127
       If you would?

75
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,596
 We'll deal with
 this in the morning

76
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,832
 at the courthouse.

77
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,768
 Come on, Mr. Wrenchmuller.

78
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:20,105
           Aren't you kinda
           big for a boy scout?

79
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,174
     I can take care of myself.

80
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,114
 Happy Halloween, Big Bean.

81
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,766
      The Arcturians have
      destroyed the fleet.

82
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,168
 I've sent a distress signal

83
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,504
       to all ships
       across the galaxy.

84
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:56,208
  We're headed into their sun
  and are about to explode!

85
00:07:56,210 --> 00:08:00,045
 I have not yet begun to fight.

86
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:02,681
       Now would be
       a great time to start!

87
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:15,794
 How was school today?

88
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,163
                     Okay.

89
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,665
     - How was sheriffing?
     - Okay.

90
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,270
 You really don't like
 it here, do you, Kathy?

91
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,975
        Everything was starting
        to get back to normal.

92
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:34,112
 - Then we just decide to move.
 - It's a good job.

93
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:37,849
 - There's nothing to do.
 - There's trick or treat.

94
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:40,819
        You're sending me
        with kids I don't know.

95
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,188
 Somebody's got to
 keep the streets safe.

96
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,956
         From what? Cows?

97
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,263
     Do we have any Krazy glue?

98
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:54,799
 Um, I think it's in that box.

99
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,619
     What's the matter?

100
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:18,757
 Everyone's gonna show up
 dressed like scarecrows, pigs,
 and clowns and stuff.

101
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,159
               So?

102
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:24,663
          I'm not sure Big Bean
          is ready for aliens.

103
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,666
  [ Radio Announcer ] <i> Achoo!</i>
  <i> Sorry about that folks.</i>

104
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,235
  <i> This being</i>
  <i> Halloween night</i>

105
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,937
  <i> I thought it'd be fun to</i>
  <i> dust off an old favorite</i>

106
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:34,706
<i> from the golden days of radio.</i>

107
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,042
  <i> 50 years ago tonight,</i>
  <i> Orson Welles</i>

108
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,978
 gave a depressed
 nation a few hours

109
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,048
 of desperately needed fun.

110
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:47,919
 Things being the way
 they are these days

111
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,188
 we could sure use
 a little of that.

112
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,157
 So, Big Bean

113
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,359
 just for tonight

114
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:57,596
 forget your woes
 and have a good time.

115
00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:01,032
 <i> The Columbia Broadcasting</i>
 <i> System and its</i>
 <i> affiliated stations</i>

116
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:04,002
  <i> present Orson Welles and</i>
  <i> the Mercury Theatre</i>

117
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,037
 <i> in</i> The War of the Worlds.

118
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,751
 <i> Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

119
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:23,922
 <i> the director and star of</i>
 <i> these broadcasts,</i>
 <i> Orson Welles.</i>

120
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,125
 [ Orson Welles ] <i> We know now</i>
 <i> in the early years of</i>
 <i> the 20th century</i>

121
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:31,863
 <i> this world</i>
 <i> was being watched</i>
 <i> closely by intelligences</i>

122
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:35,367
  <i> greater than man's, yet</i>
  <i> as mortal as his own.</i>

123
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:39,304
  <i> We know that as humans</i>
  <i> busied themselves</i>

124
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,806
  <i> about their</i>
  <i> various concerns</i>

125
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,976
  <i> they were</i>
  <i> scrutinized and studied</i>

126
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,779
 <i> perhaps almost as narrowly</i>
 <i> as a man with</i>
 <i> a microscope</i>

127
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,281
  <i> might scrutinize the</i>
  <i> transient creatures</i>

128
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,852
  <i> that swarm and multiply</i>
  <i> in a drop of water.</i>

129
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,956
  <i> With infinite</i>
  <i> complacence</i>

130
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,792
  <i> people went about</i>
  <i> their little affairs</i>

131
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:04,295
  <i> serene in the assurance</i>
  <i> of their dominion</i>

132
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:08,400
 <i> over this small, spinning</i>
 <i> fragment of</i>
 <i> solar driftwood</i>

133
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:11,302
  <i> which by</i>
  <i> chance or design,</i>

134
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,806
 <i> man has inherited out of the</i>
 <i> dark mystery of</i>
 <i> time and space.</i>

135
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:20,145
  <i> Yet, across</i>
  <i> an immense ethereal gulf</i>

136
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,981
  <i> minds that are</i>
  <i> to our minds</i>

137
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,384
  <i> as ours are to the</i>
  <i> beasts in the jungle</i>

138
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:31,289
  <i> intellects vast, cool</i>
  <i> and unsympathetic</i>

139
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:34,959
  <i> regarded this Earth</i>
  <i> with envious eyes</i>

140
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,328
  <i> and slowly and surely drew</i>
  <i> their plans against us.</i>

141
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:42,067
 Hey,
 I heard a distress signal.

142
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:46,438
 Patrol ship X-5-9-Y-P-Q
 to Battle Group 7, come in.

143
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,907
 It's like
 the fleet disappeared!

144
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:52,477
      Maybe it's interference.
      Get us outta the rocks.

145
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,813
      We're almost clear. Okay

146
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:55,914
                   hit it!

147
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,022
 [ Orson Welles ]
 <i> Ladies and gentlemen,</i>
 <i> I have a grave announcement.</i>

148
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,191
  <i> Both the observations</i>
  <i> of science</i>

149
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,226
  <i> and</i>
  <i> the evidence of our eyes</i>

150
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,862
  <i> lead to the inescapable</i>
  <i> assumption</i>

151
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:14,099
 <i> that those</i>
 <i> beings who landed</i>
 <i> in the Jersey Farmlands</i>

152
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,268
  <i> are the vanguard of an</i>
  <i> invading army from Mars.</i>

153
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:27,145
 I remember when
 they first played that.

154
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:30,248
     You remember pterodactyls.

155
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,284
 I remember you fell for that
 hook, line, and sinker.

156
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,520
           - I did not.
           - You did so.

157
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,859
            You put a big
            bucket on your head

158
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,962
   and took off with them
   army boys to fight Martians.

159
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,764
         Ain't you dead yet?

160
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:54,272
 Can't I stay with
 you and fight crime?

161
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,908
          I'll see you at
          the Spookluck dinner.

162
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,910
        Give us a kiss.

163
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,880
            That's my girl.

164
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:05,784
 I should have come
 as a wedge of cheese.

165
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,422
 I'm probably the only
 alien for a billion miles.

166
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,563
 [ Orson Welles ] <i> Martians</i>
 <i> visible above</i>
 <i> treetops moving north.</i>

167
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,899
            Hi, Mom

168
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:24,068
             Dad.

169
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:27,205
  Welcome to another thrilling,
  true-life episode of

170
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:31,042
         <i> Russell Pillsbury,</i>
         <i> Deputy Sheriff.</i>

171
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,011
             I'm parked

172
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,547
 by Big Bean's new off-ramp

173
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:39,217
 and will soon be giving the
 city's first speeding ticket.

174
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,519
  Who will be the lucky winner?

175
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,454
          [ All screaming ]

176
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:08,213
 We gotta get us some money

177
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,416
 or they're gonna
 kick us out of here.

178
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:15,520
 Then we'll have to live
 with my sister Marge

179
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,189
 and her poodle.

180
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,457
              - Arf!
              - Yeah.

181
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,208
        Why did I have
        to go and get old?

182
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,087
          [ beeping ]

183
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:56,494
 It's 8:15 P.M., October 31st.

184
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,564
 I've just been alerted to a
 speed violation in progress.

185
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,901
 Watch now as I teach this
 automotive scofflaw

186
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,936
        a lesson in
        motor-vehicular
        responsibility.

187
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,938
        Nobody gets away

188
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,507
    with going 3,000 M.P.H.
    in a 55...

189
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,148
          [ Gasps ]

190
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:29,360
 Don't s'pose we'll ever see
 a night quite like that again.

191
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:32,163
        - Not likely.
        - Nope, nope.

192
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,340
 [ Lady ]
 I'll get the bucket.

193
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,944
          [ Crashing ]

194
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,650
        Damn.

195
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,485
 Termites are munching

196
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,121
 on our barn.

197
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:00,224
 We're gonna have to do
 something before they ruin it.

198
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,393
 Come on, Jim.

199
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,070
          [ Engine Sputtering ]

200
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,516
 Who taught you to drive,
 you moron!

201
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,386
        Nice landing, Blaznee.

202
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,289
      Are we there? Is this it?

203
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,559
       Kids, 3-D and
       driving just don't mix.

204
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:38,429
 Weicome to Earth.
 Enjoy it while it lasts.

205
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:41,399
         Are you sure this is
         where the fleet is?

206
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:44,335
 You heard the Earthling's
 pathetic radio broadcast.

207
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,372
 "Lookout for that heat ray.
 Help us. We're gonna die."

208
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,510
      They got that
      right. Hee-hee-hee.

209
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,680
 Blaznee, this is the place.
 We're here.

210
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,249
      Let's start
      enjoying ourselves!

211
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,185
 Let's maneuver
 closer to the action.

212
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,288
     Strafe the local
     citizenry before we land.

213
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,557
         Sorry. No can do.

214
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,627
            - Why not?
            - Let's see.

215
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,230
     We got
     a torqued-out digiframus.

216
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:16,034
     Our megaspazz redundancy
     pile is on the blink.

217
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:19,437
       It looks like we
       bruised our boo-boo.

218
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,540
 He's making the whole last
 bit up. There's no such thing!

219
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,342
           Coward!

220
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,777
           Heh-heh-heh.

221
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,578
          Let's kick some
          Earthling butt!

222
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,615
 Finally, a real mission.

223
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:33,217
        Maybe we better
        think this over, huh?

224
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,286
      Good-bye,
      civilian asteroid patrol.

225
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,722
      Hello, atomic space navy.

226
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:41,059
      The fleet was supposed
      to be attacking Arcturus.

227
00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,127
 The plan to attack Arcturus

228
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,663
 was obviously a clever decoy

229
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:50,334
 the total
 annihilation of
 all things human.

230
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,104
    Now,
    quit raining on our parade!

231
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,078
                   But why?

232
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,513
  Why would Mars want to attack

233
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,416
 the puny,
 insignificant forces of Earth?

234
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,251
       Because we win!

235
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:13,257
    Prepare to die, Earth scum!

236
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,126
       -Where is everybody?
       -Blowing up all
       the good stuff.

237
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,828
            Come on.

238
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,231
 I think we
 brought the wrong gun.

239
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:23,167
    It certainly is green here.

240
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,436
   Perhaps our
   camouflage is inappropriate.

241
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,738
 Come on, Jim.

242
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,178
          [ Beeping ]

243
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,449
      Just for the record

244
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,284
           I'm listening.

245
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,122
 I thought this was a bad idea.

246
00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:48,292
        Just for the record,
        you'd better hope not.

247
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,811
            May, June

248
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,147
          July, August

249
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,681
            15, 18!

250
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,418
        They're Martians!

251
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,487
     I knew it!

252
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:20,324
 Jim, it looks as if me and you

253
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,393
 is the Earth's only hope.

254
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,530
 That's kinda sad, ain't it?

255
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,199
 I guess it's better to die

256
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:31,736
 a horrible, agonizing
 death defending the Earth

257
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,438
 than to wither away

258
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,607
 with Marge and her poodle.

259
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,849
 That's the spirit!

260
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,652
 We got work to do.

261
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:54,959
 What do you
 make of it, Doctor?

262
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:59,230
  It's long, flat and
  has yellow lines.
  That can only mean one thing.

263
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,433
        - A mine field?
        - A country road.

264
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,335
 That's what they
 want us to think.

265
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,672
 One false move and kaboom!

266
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,408
 You'll go home in more
 pieces than you arrived.

267
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,677
 Corporal Pez?

268
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,946
 - What?
 - See if we can get across.

269
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:17,281
      - Why don't we go around?
      - Move!

270
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,584
       I'm going home in a bag!

271
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,653
      It's always the corporal
      that gets blown up first.

272
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,224
 Dr. Ziplock, anything in
 the world-domination kit
 to help us?

273
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,759
        Let's see.

274
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,928
        This looks interesting.

275
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:34,265
     - Don't touch that!
     - Excuse me!

276
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,404
        Hit the dirt!

277
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,506
 - What?
 - Get down, stupid!

278
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:45,910
 What in the name of
 Uncle Martin is that?

279
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,713
 Scout-in-a-can.
 smart, efficient

280
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:51,515
   easy to use,
   and it's expendable!

281
00:20:57,323 --> 00:21:01,025
 Mine field, indeed! What a
 bunch of twinkie stuffing!

282
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:04,662
 Lt. Giggywig, you give
 these simple Earthlings

283
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,564
 far too much credit.

284
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,370
 Capt. Bipto?

285
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,572
 What happened?

286
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:17,675
 Some kind of secret weapon
 came out of nowhere

287
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,977
 and took Capt.
 Bipto to his doom!

288
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,048
         Come back, Earth scum!

289
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:29,353
 Will there be
 anything else, senor?

290
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:31,889
 Could you get the windshield,
 please?

291
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,891
 It would be my pleasure.

292
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,061
 Who are you supposed to be?

293
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,763
          I am

294
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:42,500
         El Zorro!

295
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:57,882
           See Kathy sit.
           See Kathy sit alone.

296
00:21:57,884 --> 00:22:02,653
      See Kathy grow cobwebs
      and fossilize in boredom.

297
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,956
 Our first target. Think
 I can hit it from here?

298
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,958
       - Wait a minute.
       - Let's shoot
       something already.

299
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,393
 Shh.

300
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:17,868
     Wow! That's the best alien
     costume I've ever seen!

301
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:20,504
         Thanks.

302
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:22,773
   I like yours, too.

303
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,810
                My mom made it.

304
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:27,745
  She went to a lot of trouble.

305
00:22:30,616 --> 00:22:34,752
 - What are you supposed to be?
 - I'm a duck!

306
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:37,455
        - Who died and
        left you in charge?
        - Capt. Bipto!

307
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:42,860
 I'm Kathy.

308
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,863
              Brian Hampton.
              Nice to meet you.

309
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,000
 Where did a nice girl like you

310
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,803
 learn how to make something so

311
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:56,874
 mind-numbingly terrifying?

312
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,944
    - I spent time with my
    uncle this summer.
    -Uh-huh.

313
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,614
 - He works in the movies,
 making zombies and monsters.
 - Uh-huh.

314
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:06,984
     - I wanted to stay and
     work for him,
     - Uh-huh.

315
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:09,420
     - but I had to come here
     with my dad.
     - Uh-huh.

316
00:23:09,422 --> 00:23:11,122
              Where's your mom?

317
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,126
 She died last May.

318
00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:18,529
                Gee, I'm sorry.

319
00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:21,932
               That's too bad.

320
00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:23,801
                     So

321
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,737
            it's just you
            and your dad, huh?

322
00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:29,874
 Yeah, and some goldfish.

323
00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,643
               If you ever need
               a little brother

324
00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:35,112
           just give me a call.

325
00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:37,615
      [ Woman ] All right,
      you two, it's time to go.

326
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:41,919
                  Come on!

327
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,622
                 [ Giggles ]
                 How cute!

328
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,157
             How lovely.

329
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:51,862
         Vern, hurry it up!
         I've got a cold
         beer and a hot woman

330
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:55,466
        and I'm trying to
        keep 'em that way.

331
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:58,636
 - Mr. Klembecker, fill it up?
 - Yeah and get the windows.

332
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,205
 Warm enough, sweet cheeks?

333
00:24:03,543 --> 00:24:06,477
  [ Over radio ]
  <i> ¶ Darling, come back to me</i>

334
00:24:06,479 --> 00:24:08,813
  <i> ¶ I'm as</i>
  <i> lonesome as can be</i>

335
00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:11,148
 <i> ¶ I'm as jumpy as a bug</i>

336
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,517
 <i> ¶ I'm as perky as a slug</i>

337
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:19,857
  <i> ¶ Honey darling,</i>
  <i> come back to me</i>

338
00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:22,526
 <i> ¶ When you left home</i>

339
00:24:22,528 --> 00:24:24,495
 <i> ¶ I wrote a little poem</i>

340
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:26,497
          Hi, Dody.

341
00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:29,066
  <i> ¶ But it don't help me</i>
  <i> 'cause I can't read</i>

342
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:33,737
  <i> ¶ Honey darling,</i>
  <i> come back to me</i>

343
00:24:33,739 --> 00:24:35,739
  <i> ¶ I'm as</i>
  <i> lonesome as can be ¶</i>

344
00:24:36,876 --> 00:24:39,143
   What are you supposed to be?

345
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,078
 Oh, nothing.

346
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,614
 Just Zorro.

347
00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:45,816
   Zorro's got a hat, you dope!

348
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,620
 Mr. Klembecker, looks
 like you hit something.

349
00:24:54,527 --> 00:24:56,961
 Clean that up!

350
00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:59,763
 Oh, man!

351
00:24:59,765 --> 00:25:02,099
 Get that off of there!

352
00:25:04,270 --> 00:25:06,537
 That ain't gonna work!

353
00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,873
 Here, use this.

354
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:19,216
 When's my Caddy gonna be done?

355
00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:22,152
 You can pick it up tomorrow.

356
00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:25,055
 Good! It better be clean.

357
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:27,558
          It's clean.

358
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,160
       I polished it up
       like you said to.

359
00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:33,597
           Yuck.

360
00:25:36,536 --> 00:25:39,036
 That's 13 gallons

361
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,071
           at $1.10 a gallon...

362
00:25:45,077 --> 00:25:47,011
 - That'll be...
 - Catch you later, okay, pal?

363
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:54,552
         Yes, Mr. Klembecker

364
00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:56,754
          you butthead!

365
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,592
 You take the left flank,
 I'll take the right.

366
00:26:01,594 --> 00:26:03,594
               You always get
               the right flank.

367
00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:05,329
 We've never done
 this before, idiot!

368
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:19,643
    - What's with
    the happy sounds?
    - They're giddy with fear.

369
00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:23,347
 - Look!
 - Get back. Lock and load.

370
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:29,687
      - They're
      shorter than I thought.
      - Let's take 'em out.

371
00:26:29,689 --> 00:26:32,256
 [ Dr. Ziplock ] What if they
 come in small,
 medium and large!

372
00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:34,258
 - How cute!
 - Wow, a dinosaur!

373
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,927
 You're all alike!

374
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:39,229
    Prepare to die, Earth scum!

375
00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:42,066
 Maybe later. Have fun. Huh?

376
00:26:42,068 --> 00:26:44,668
        - What? Come back.
        - Kids, all aboard.

377
00:26:44,670 --> 00:26:46,604
       That's something

378
00:26:46,606 --> 00:26:48,906
       you don't see every day.

379
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,214
 - What now, O mighty leader?
 - Kill them!

380
00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:59,850
                     Kill them!

381
00:26:59,852 --> 00:27:03,687
       I said, prepare to die,
       Earth scum!

382
00:27:03,689 --> 00:27:06,690
 Oh, now you've got her.

383
00:27:06,692 --> 00:27:09,627
 Yep, she's definitely
 terrified. Oh, boy.

384
00:27:09,629 --> 00:27:11,228
           Boys.

385
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:13,397
 Wait a minute.

386
00:27:13,399 --> 00:27:16,934
 Atomize her already.
 What's your problem?

387
00:27:16,936 --> 00:27:19,336
 Shouldn't this human be
 quivering in terror

388
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:22,039
 at our menacing,
 sinister-looking weaponry?

389
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:24,174
 - You'd think so.
 - Everybody, move over.

390
00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:26,276
                     Make room
                     for the...

391
00:27:26,278 --> 00:27:28,712
 - Just play along.
 - What are we?

392
00:27:28,714 --> 00:27:30,381
         Martians!

393
00:27:30,383 --> 00:27:34,051
 Of course you are.
 Well, get in.

394
00:27:34,053 --> 00:27:37,021
 Perhaps if we ride
 in this transport

395
00:27:37,023 --> 00:27:39,890
 we can find their secret
 resistance headquarters.

396
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:44,995
 Let's shoot our way out.

397
00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:47,398
       - It'll be fun.
       - Shh. They don't
       know we're Martians.

398
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,366
 Not know?

399
00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:52,336
 We're little green
 men with antennas.

400
00:27:52,338 --> 00:27:54,672
              They think we're
              wearing costumes.

401
00:27:54,674 --> 00:27:57,107
 What a bunch of morons!

402
00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:59,076
 Let's flame these bozos.
 They're too stupid to live!

403
00:28:01,747 --> 00:28:06,316
    We have a full tank of
    gas and lots of empty bags.

404
00:28:06,318 --> 00:28:09,086
        - What shall we do?
        - Trick or treat?

405
00:28:09,088 --> 00:28:12,089
       - Smell my feet.
       - Oh, gross!

406
00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,157
        - Oh, great.
        - Trick or what?

407
00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:24,935
         I'm sick and tired

408
00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:30,207
   of that old jerk, Klembecker
   pushing everyone around.
   That's it.

409
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,910
       I'm gonna finish the
       plans for this farmzoid.

410
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,848
 Someday I'll be able to
 irrigate every field

411
00:28:37,850 --> 00:28:40,217
 and make all
 the farms healthy again.

412
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:43,287
         Then I'll pick up that
         farmer's trust of his

413
00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:45,355
        and drop-kick it
        into the next county.

414
00:28:45,357 --> 00:28:47,758
 He thinks he's such a hotshot.

415
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,827
    This will work, I think.

416
00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:56,400
          Heh-heh-heh.

417
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:03,273
           Mr. Klembecker,
           it looks like...

418
00:29:03,275 --> 00:29:05,743
          Dody.
          Do-o-o-dy.

419
00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:08,979
                 [ Bell rings ]

420
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:19,356
 Wait! You are my robot slave.

421
00:29:19,358 --> 00:29:23,060
     - You will follow
     my every command.
     - Yes, Capt. Bipto.

422
00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:25,963
     However, my new allegiance

423
00:29:25,965 --> 00:29:28,432
        to His Imperial Majesty
        might come to light

424
00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:31,001
              if I neglect my
              regular patrons.

425
00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:33,837
 We must keep up the appearance

426
00:29:33,839 --> 00:29:36,440
     of a normally functioning,
     fuel-dispensing depot

427
00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:38,475
              while we act as
              undercover agents

428
00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:40,177
                   of Mars.

429
00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:47,251
          I will be right back.

430
00:29:51,557 --> 00:29:54,525
       Weicome to the Gas King,
       fuel-dispensing depot.

431
00:29:54,527 --> 00:29:57,361
    How may I be of assistance?

432
00:29:57,363 --> 00:30:00,264
 Capt.
 Bipto to the invasion force.

433
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:02,432
 Capt.
 Bipto to the invasion force.

434
00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:06,270
             Hmm?

435
00:30:10,810 --> 00:30:11,508
          Oh-oh-oh.

436
00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:18,081
       I can't contact the ship
       or the invasion force.

437
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:20,250
   I can only assume the worst.

438
00:30:20,252 --> 00:30:22,986
             We must build
             an attack vehicle,

439
00:30:22,988 --> 00:30:25,956
             something that
             will strike terror

440
00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:28,225
             into whomever
             sets eyes upon it.

441
00:30:28,227 --> 00:30:31,094
     Something with huge wheels

442
00:30:31,096 --> 00:30:34,331
        so we can crush
        the panicking populace.

443
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:38,502
     Something from which I can
     overlook the battlefield

444
00:30:38,504 --> 00:30:42,873
     and direct our
     victorious invasion force.

445
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:45,876
           Something like this?

446
00:30:45,878 --> 00:30:47,911
        I was thinking of
        something a bit larger.

447
00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:57,321
 Those guys are
 definitely not from here.

448
00:30:57,323 --> 00:31:01,225
       - No kidding! Look.
       - Hey!

449
00:31:01,227 --> 00:31:03,193
 I know what I'm
 getting for Christmas.

450
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:06,330
         - Give him here.
         - Lighten up.

451
00:31:06,332 --> 00:31:09,066
        It's just a stupid toy.

452
00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:12,336
        You're not a toy
        at all, are you?

453
00:31:14,273 --> 00:31:16,440
      I hope you're making
      him move like that.

454
00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:21,578
 [ Woman ]
 All right, first stop.

455
00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:24,481
      Everybody got their bags?

456
00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:27,651
 Remember, look both ways
 before crossing the street.

457
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:30,220
       So that's the trick.

458
00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:33,323
 If only Capt. Bipto had known.

459
00:31:33,325 --> 00:31:38,028
 I wonder what Klembecker's
 gonna give us this year.

460
00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:41,932
    I hope it's not dead rats.
    My mom had a cow last time.

461
00:31:41,934 --> 00:31:43,967
          What?

462
00:31:43,969 --> 00:31:45,335
         Trick or treat?

463
00:31:45,337 --> 00:31:47,471
         Yeah. I forgot.

464
00:31:47,473 --> 00:31:48,972
           Hold on.

465
00:31:50,943 --> 00:31:53,343
 Here's one for you.

466
00:31:53,345 --> 00:31:56,213
 One for you.
 Plenty to go around.

467
00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:58,916
               Cigarettes?

468
00:31:58,918 --> 00:32:01,018
         Okay, forget it!

469
00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:06,523
    [ Scatting along to music ]

470
00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:22,673
          [ Crashing ]

471
00:32:27,513 --> 00:32:30,180
         Hello? Hello?

472
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:38,488
              Well, well, well,

473
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,524
          what have we here?

474
00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:49,967
  Damn. He must be some kind of

475
00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:52,369
           health-food nut.

476
00:32:52,371 --> 00:32:54,604
 We're gonna make

477
00:32:54,606 --> 00:32:59,209
 a bazillion
 dollars out of this story

478
00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:01,645
     and two bazillion
     on the pictures.

479
00:33:02,514 --> 00:33:04,982
 Damn!

480
00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:07,284
   The flash don't work, Jim.

481
00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:09,686
         Where are we
         gonna get batteries

482
00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:12,289
       at this time of night?

483
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:14,324
           We gotta hurry.

484
00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:16,526
 There's no telling what them

485
00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:20,430
        wily space creatures
        will be up to.

486
00:33:20,432 --> 00:33:25,135
 The smell of
 battery acid makes me thirsty.

487
00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:28,238
            With all their
            advanced technology

488
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,108
        look at the pitiful
        conveyances the puny
        Earth people construct.

489
00:33:31,110 --> 00:33:32,409
              Oh, dear.

490
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:39,049
         This one employs
         a mere 250 horsepower.

491
00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:41,718
          Our attack vehicle
          will cause their eyes

492
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,721
 to shoot out of
 their heads in fear.

493
00:33:44,723 --> 00:33:47,124
          Hurry! Who knows what
          unspeakable terrors

494
00:33:47,126 --> 00:33:49,459
       have befallen my troops?

495
00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:53,397
 Wow!
 What a haul! This is great!

496
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:57,100
       - This kid's gonna barf.
       - Are you gonna barf?

497
00:33:57,102 --> 00:33:59,603
 I think he's gonna barf, Mom.

498
00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:02,639
         - Sit down!
         - If he barfs,
         your hairdo's history.

499
00:34:02,641 --> 00:34:06,243
            Do I know you boys?

500
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:09,679
 They're on to us. We
 gotta get outta here.

501
00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:13,583
        - I'd like an answer.
        - Have I got an answer!

502
00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:16,453
    Perhaps I'll have to remove
    those heads of yours

503
00:34:16,455 --> 00:34:18,722
       and find out for myself.

504
00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:20,757
 - How do you fire this?
 - Not that button.

505
00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:23,060
 - Not like that, idiot.
 - Whoa!

506
00:34:24,630 --> 00:34:27,097
            Did you hear that?

507
00:34:27,099 --> 00:34:29,332
         Them Martians is
         starting their attack.

508
00:34:32,704 --> 00:34:37,207
        Ah, the carnage begins!
        I love it!

509
00:34:37,209 --> 00:34:40,110
         Hurry, I want to
         get in on all the fun.

510
00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:42,546
 [ Kid ] You jerk!

511
00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:48,251
       Don't mess with me, kid.
       You wouldn't like
       me when I'm mad.

512
00:34:49,321 --> 00:34:51,588
     Where are you really from?

513
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:54,624
        Tell me who
        you are, or by tomorrow

514
00:34:54,626 --> 00:34:58,295
      they'll be printing your
      pictures on milk cartons!

515
00:34:58,297 --> 00:35:00,697
      They're my cousins!

516
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,433
           [All ] Excuse me?

517
00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:06,636
       - From California.
       - Dude.

518
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:10,707
 That's Clutch. That's Spinner.

519
00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:12,342
                  Yo!

520
00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:13,844
         - That's Paddlefoot.
         - Hi.

521
00:35:13,846 --> 00:35:16,680
        They're surfers.

522
00:35:16,682 --> 00:35:19,683
       Why didn't you say so
       in the first place, hmm?

523
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:22,252
           Yeah. Hmm?

524
00:35:22,254 --> 00:35:25,188
        Well, I'm new here.

525
00:35:25,190 --> 00:35:27,858
 I don't really know anyone.

526
00:35:27,860 --> 00:35:29,726
     I didn't think
     they'd be trouble.

527
00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:32,262
          No real harm is done.

528
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:35,298
             You're welcome,
             provided you save

529
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:38,335
      those missile attacks for
      a more suitable occasion.

530
00:35:38,337 --> 00:35:40,670
           Yes, ma'am.

531
00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:47,811
         I don't mean to pry,
         but would you mind

532
00:35:47,813 --> 00:35:51,581
 telling me exactly
 what's going on here?

533
00:35:51,583 --> 00:35:54,851
 These guys are from
 further away than California.

534
00:35:56,622 --> 00:36:00,157
       Before you continue,
       I remind you

535
00:36:00,159 --> 00:36:03,593
 that I'm just a little boy
 and susceptible to nightmares.

536
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:05,896
              Waa!

537
00:36:05,898 --> 00:36:08,398
                    That's it!

538
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,535
     I gave you another chance.
     Since you can't behave

539
00:36:11,537 --> 00:36:13,537
      we'll take everyone home!

540
00:36:13,539 --> 00:36:15,739
           What's all this?

541
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:19,242
 Oh, yes. You!

542
00:36:19,244 --> 00:36:22,746
 Prepare to die,
 Earth scum, again!

543
00:36:22,748 --> 00:36:26,650
      You've made your
      point.
      Now sit down and shut up!

544
00:36:26,652 --> 00:36:28,885
 When a superior alien culture

545
00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:32,422
 comes all this way to
 take over your world

546
00:36:32,424 --> 00:36:34,925
 certain laws of
 planetary conquest apply.

547
00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:37,928
 For example,
 when someone points

548
00:36:37,930 --> 00:36:40,530
 a quad-spected hyperthermic
 cosmoblaster at you,

549
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:43,400
 it's a fair bet you are
 about to become toast.

550
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:45,936
 Please sit down and be quiet.

551
00:36:45,938 --> 00:36:48,838
 Perhaps in your case,
 a loaf of toast!

552
00:36:51,510 --> 00:36:53,510
           - Uh-oh.
           - Get out!

553
00:36:53,512 --> 00:36:55,679
        Nice going, big mouth.

554
00:36:55,681 --> 00:36:58,415
     - I said, out!
     - I didn't do anything.

555
00:36:58,417 --> 00:37:00,850
            I want you out of
            my car this minute!

556
00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:02,519
                     Get out!

557
00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,955
                I can be pushed

558
00:37:04,957 --> 00:37:07,390
           But I will
           not be smart-talked!

559
00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:09,926
        Shut up, you old bat!

560
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:13,630
 I think I see my dad's truck.

561
00:37:13,632 --> 00:37:16,499
 You can let
 me and my friend out.

562
00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:18,602
         What truck? I
         don't see any...

563
00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:20,503
 Shh. Come on.

564
00:37:20,505 --> 00:37:23,940
     I think that would
     be best, Miss Hoxley.

565
00:37:23,942 --> 00:37:27,777
          Good-bye. Thanks
          for a lovely evening.

566
00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:31,514
    Don't worry about us. We'll
    be fine out here, all alone

567
00:37:31,516 --> 00:37:33,917
 in the dark!

568
00:37:33,919 --> 00:37:36,386
 - Hey!
 - I don't know what's going on

569
00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:39,389
            but I've only got
            half a bag of candy

570
00:37:39,391 --> 00:37:41,691
          so it better be good.

571
00:37:41,693 --> 00:37:44,561
 - Happy now?
 - Well, who was the one

572
00:37:44,563 --> 00:37:48,031
 who shot his heat-seeking
 annihilator out the window?

573
00:37:48,033 --> 00:37:51,901
 All right.
 I'll give it to you straight.

574
00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:55,038
 We're being
 invaded by Martians.

575
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,842
 I'm gonna follow them.
 You get my dad.

576
00:37:58,844 --> 00:38:03,313
         My sister gets half of
         whatever's in my bag

577
00:38:03,315 --> 00:38:06,983
        so you better be right!

578
00:38:06,985 --> 00:38:09,753
    [ Welles ] <i> As I set</i>
    <i> down these notes on paper,</i>

579
00:38:09,755 --> 00:38:11,521
 <i> I'm obsessed by</i>
 <i> the thought I may be</i>
 <i> the last living man on Earth.</i>

580
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:14,691
      My God.

581
00:38:14,693 --> 00:38:16,393
 <i> I've been hiding in this</i>
 <i> empty house near</i>
 <i> Grover's Mill.</i>

582
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,768
  <i> All that's happened</i>
  <i> before the arrival</i>

583
00:38:24,770 --> 00:38:26,870
  <i> of these monstrous</i>
  <i> creatures</i>

584
00:38:26,872 --> 00:38:28,772
            Russell?

585
00:38:32,844 --> 00:38:35,745
 Where are those guys?

586
00:38:35,747 --> 00:38:39,783
    Geez, if I get this bucket
    fixed before they get back,

587
00:38:39,785 --> 00:38:42,319
      they're waking home.

588
00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:44,521
      This place gives
      me the willies.

589
00:38:56,635 --> 00:39:00,770
 Nobody gets away from Russell
 Pillsbury, Deputy Sheriff.

590
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,772
             Aw, geez.

591
00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:05,342
 Would you mind stepping
 out of the vehicle, sir?

592
00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:08,978
             Now!

593
00:39:13,585 --> 00:39:17,120
 Maybe it's in backwards.

594
00:39:17,122 --> 00:39:20,957
 You're getting dog
 spit all over it.

595
00:39:23,061 --> 00:39:25,395
       Ha! Atta boy!

596
00:39:27,366 --> 00:39:30,133
 Will you stop wasting film?

597
00:39:30,135 --> 00:39:34,704
     Gee, Officer, what
     seems to be the problem?

598
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,974
 No license, no registration,

599
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:40,577
 no plates, no headlights,

600
00:39:40,579 --> 00:39:43,146
 no taillights, no wheels!

601
00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:46,950
 I clocked you going
 3,000 miles per hour.

602
00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:51,688
 That's 2,945 miles an hour
 in excess of the posted limit!

603
00:39:51,690 --> 00:39:55,158
     Great!
     There goes my insurance.

604
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:59,763
 At $10 for every 5 miles
 an hour over the limit

605
00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:03,733
 Oh, you're gonna do time, pal.

606
00:40:03,735 --> 00:40:06,102
     You may even get
     the chair for this.

607
00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:09,639
     Maybe you better step back

608
00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:11,875
 and get the big picture here.

609
00:40:15,013 --> 00:40:16,579
     Okay.

610
00:40:19,651 --> 00:40:23,186
     I've just made
     a serious mistake,

611
00:40:23,188 --> 00:40:25,655
        haven't I?

612
00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,490
        Ain't life a bust?

613
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,860
 Oof.

614
00:40:32,631 --> 00:40:34,497
                 Ouch!

615
00:40:43,475 --> 00:40:47,110
 Meanwhile, elsewhere
 on the planet

616
00:40:47,112 --> 00:40:50,013
 <i> This is Orson</i>
 <i> Welles,</i>
 <i> ladies and gentlemen,</i>

617
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:53,550
  <i> to assure you that the</i>
  War of the Worlds

618
00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:56,019
  <i> has no further</i>
  <i> significance</i>

619
00:40:56,021 --> 00:40:58,822
   <i> than as</i>
   <i> the holiday offering</i>
   <i> it was intended to be.</i>

620
00:40:58,824 --> 00:41:01,858
  <i> - The Mercury</i>
  <i> Theatre's radio version...</i>
  - Huh?

621
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:04,994
 - <i> ...of dressing in</i>
 <i> a sheet and saying "Boo</i> !"
 - Oh.

622
00:41:04,996 --> 00:41:08,665
<i> We couldn't soap your windows,</i>
<i> steal all your</i>
<i> garden gates</i>

623
00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,967
               You have failed.

624
00:41:10,969 --> 00:41:14,037
    It's
    disciplinary review time.

625
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:21,644
 <i> You'll be relieved</i>
 <i> to learn that</i>
 <i> we didn't mean it</i>

626
00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:25,515
  <i> and both institutions are</i>
  <i> still open for business.</i>

627
00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:28,918
  <i> Good-bye everybody.</i>
  <i> Remember, please,</i>

628
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,821
  <i> the terrible lesson</i>
  <i> you learned tonight.</i>

629
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:35,225
 <i> That grinning, glowing,</i>
 <i> globular invader in your</i>
 <i> living room</i>

630
00:41:35,227 --> 00:41:37,594
  <i> is an inhabitant of</i>
  <i> the pumpkin patch.</i>

631
00:41:37,596 --> 00:41:39,996
  <i> If your doorbell rings</i>
  <i> and nobody's there,</i>

632
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,932
  <i> that was no Martian.</i>
  <i> It's Halloween.</i>

633
00:41:42,934 --> 00:41:44,834
         You wanna bet?

634
00:41:46,505 --> 00:41:48,705
       I told 'em we
       were to attack Arcturus.

635
00:41:48,707 --> 00:41:50,673
           It's not my fault.

636
00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:52,275
 Let's talk this out.

637
00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:54,944
        I'll go get them

638
00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:58,281
       and we can blow up
       any planet you want.

639
00:41:58,283 --> 00:42:01,551
       - Just give us a chance!
       - Too late.

640
00:42:01,553 --> 00:42:04,053
      Your imperfection has
      exceeded acceptable
      error levels.

641
00:42:05,557 --> 00:42:08,024
            You are terminated!

642
00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,125
                 No!

643
00:42:13,732 --> 00:42:15,265
         Now for the others.

644
00:42:29,281 --> 00:42:31,047
 Come on, Jim.

645
00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:37,654
 You hear that?

646
00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:40,557
 He must be on the
 other side of that bale.

647
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:43,660
 This time,
 we're gonna get ourselves

648
00:42:43,662 --> 00:42:46,296
 the picture of the century.

649
00:42:47,232 --> 00:42:49,265
        Are you ready?

650
00:42:49,267 --> 00:42:50,967
           Get set.

651
00:42:50,969 --> 00:42:52,235
              Go!

652
00:42:52,237 --> 00:42:54,837
                    Ahh!

653
00:42:54,839 --> 00:42:57,106
 I thought you was a Martian.

654
00:42:57,108 --> 00:42:59,742
 What'd you do with him?

655
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:03,112
 He was right here when I left.

656
00:43:05,150 --> 00:43:07,250
 He was here when I left, too.

657
00:43:21,666 --> 00:43:24,367
 What do you
 suppose was in there?

658
00:43:30,375 --> 00:43:32,642
          That's it!

659
00:43:32,644 --> 00:43:35,311
 I'm gonna kill something
 if it's the last thing I do.

660
00:43:35,313 --> 00:43:38,214
 This time,
 nothing is going to stand

661
00:43:38,216 --> 00:43:40,016
       in my way.

662
00:43:40,018 --> 00:43:42,118
              Yeah, right.

663
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,887
      What now, terrifying one?

664
00:43:44,889 --> 00:43:47,690
 Shouldn't we be trying
 to find the fleet?

665
00:43:47,692 --> 00:43:50,927
 Sure,
 we can do it the easy way

666
00:43:50,929 --> 00:43:54,297
     or we can sack
     this entire area

667
00:43:54,299 --> 00:43:57,400
 all by ourselves with a
 brilliantly conceived,

668
00:43:57,402 --> 00:44:01,104
 meticulously executed, and
 perfectly-timed operation.

669
00:44:01,106 --> 00:44:03,406
         We're gonna blow
         something up.

670
00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,308
 Yeah, but what?

671
00:44:05,310 --> 00:44:08,011
 Sheriff Hoxley's at the V.F.W.
 Hall.

672
00:44:08,013 --> 00:44:10,179
 He'll know what to do.

673
00:44:10,181 --> 00:44:13,683
        We're gonna need us
        more than a sheriff.

674
00:44:13,685 --> 00:44:16,419
 - We're gonna need us an army.
 - They'll never believe us.

675
00:44:16,421 --> 00:44:19,856
 They're
 gonna believe us, all right.

676
00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:23,993
          [ Horn honking ]

677
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,898
       The Martians is coming!

678
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:31,200
             Oh, oh.

679
00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:34,203
       - What's going on?
       - I'll tell you what.

680
00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:37,206
 Big Bean is being
 invaded by Martians.

681
00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,975
 What is this stuff?

682
00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:40,376
                From space!

683
00:44:40,378 --> 00:44:42,679
         Yikes!

684
00:44:42,681 --> 00:44:46,082
 You think I'm crazy, do you?

685
00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:49,686
       Well, I've got one of'em
       back here in the truck.

686
00:44:49,688 --> 00:44:52,855
  Come on. Take a look at this.

687
00:44:55,727 --> 00:44:57,427
     Take a look at what?

688
00:44:57,429 --> 00:44:59,729
        He was here.

689
00:44:59,731 --> 00:45:01,898
         I swear it.

690
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,966
            Look.

691
00:45:03,968 --> 00:45:06,202
 - That's his green blood.
 - That's paint.

692
00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:10,306
 He's getting away.

693
00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:12,442
 He's going to
 join his space army.

694
00:45:12,444 --> 00:45:14,877
            Space army?

695
00:45:14,879 --> 00:45:17,380
 I'd death-ray my grandmother
 for a space army about now.

696
00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:23,720
      - Tell him, Russell.
      - It's true.

697
00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:25,922
 I gave one of'em a ticket.

698
00:45:25,924 --> 00:45:27,857
 I'm telling you. It looked

699
00:45:27,859 --> 00:45:30,359
 like a full-scale invasion.

700
00:45:30,361 --> 00:45:32,795
 I'll tell
 you what it looks like.

701
00:45:32,797 --> 00:45:34,764
 It looks like a hoax to me.

702
00:45:37,502 --> 00:45:40,436
         Mr. Wrenchmuller is
         telling the truth.

703
00:45:43,842 --> 00:45:46,109
       Are you insane?

704
00:45:46,111 --> 00:45:50,113
     I don't pretend to know
     everything that's going on

705
00:45:50,115 --> 00:45:53,282
        but it's clear to me
        from evidence I've seen

706
00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:56,018
      that we are being visited

707
00:45:56,020 --> 00:45:58,821
      by intelligent creatures.

708
00:45:58,823 --> 00:46:02,291
 Intelligent creatures? That'll
 throw 'em off the trail.

709
00:46:02,293 --> 00:46:05,394
  I even got pictures.
  Look here.

710
00:46:05,396 --> 00:46:08,164
 That's what they look like.

711
00:46:08,166 --> 00:46:10,900
   They look just like
   the sheriff's nephews.

712
00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:13,803
  - My nephews?
  - Your nephews are Martians?

713
00:46:13,805 --> 00:46:16,939
 No,
 my nephews aren't Martians.
 I don't even have any nephews.

714
00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:19,542
 Their spaceship's in my barn.

715
00:46:19,544 --> 00:46:22,912
       - He's a crazy man.
       - Where'd they
       get a spaceship?

716
00:46:22,914 --> 00:46:25,381
      In California.
      They're surfers.

717
00:46:25,383 --> 00:46:26,983
           Surfers?

718
00:46:26,985 --> 00:46:29,152
        That's what
        your daughter said.

719
00:46:29,154 --> 00:46:31,954
          Wait. Where is Kathy?

720
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:35,124
     She got out with your
     Martian surfer nephews.

721
00:46:35,126 --> 00:46:38,461
     Mrs. Vanderspool, do know
     how stupid that sounds?

722
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:40,963
              They're little?

723
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,532
       - That's right.
       - And green?

724
00:46:42,534 --> 00:46:44,200
              Yes!

725
00:46:44,202 --> 00:46:46,836
         Little dealy-bobs
         coming out their head?

726
00:46:46,838 --> 00:46:48,905
 Now you're cookin' with gas.

727
00:46:48,907 --> 00:46:51,040
 Sounds like Martians to me.

728
00:46:51,042 --> 00:46:53,176
      I want
      everybody to remain calm.

729
00:46:53,178 --> 00:46:56,579
     We should do
     something about this.

730
00:46:56,581 --> 00:46:58,881
      Blaznee to world
      Domination Force.

731
00:46:58,883 --> 00:47:01,417
  Not now, Blaznee.

732
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:04,520
 I'm busy sealing the doom
 of countless millions.

733
00:47:04,522 --> 00:47:08,057
 - Shove off.
 - The device is in place.

734
00:47:08,059 --> 00:47:10,993
   They'll never escape us now.
   Ha, ha!

735
00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,995
       [ Laughing ]

736
00:47:16,067 --> 00:47:18,034
          That's it.

737
00:47:18,036 --> 00:47:19,836
        Let the enforcer
        drone have 'em.

738
00:47:19,838 --> 00:47:22,238
              Oops.

739
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:24,340
 Sheriff Hoxley!
 Sheriff Hoxley!

740
00:47:26,244 --> 00:47:28,911
 Hold it, hey! Come back here.

741
00:47:28,913 --> 00:47:32,448
 There are Martians over here!

742
00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,083
 Martians, Martians!

743
00:47:34,085 --> 00:47:37,220
                     Ahhh!

744
00:47:40,258 --> 00:47:42,291
                Ha!

745
00:47:48,433 --> 00:47:51,300
         Never mess with
         a frisbee champion.

746
00:47:51,302 --> 00:47:53,502
 Mayday, Mayday, going in.

747
00:47:59,444 --> 00:48:01,410
         Dr. Ziplock?

748
00:48:01,412 --> 00:48:03,145
                  Huh?

749
00:48:03,147 --> 00:48:04,614
    Activate the hovervid.

750
00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:12,555
       - We should call
       the National Guard.
       - Wait. Hold it.

751
00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:14,991
      You're going
      about this all wrong.

752
00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:17,526
      There's nothing to
      indicate we're in danger.

753
00:48:17,528 --> 00:48:19,929
         We don't know what
         we're dealing with

754
00:48:19,931 --> 00:48:21,464
        or even where they are!

755
00:48:28,673 --> 00:48:32,241
 [ Giggywig ] We interrupt
 to bring you
 a special announcement.

756
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:34,610
 The Martians have landed.

757
00:48:34,612 --> 00:48:37,446
 Prepare to die, Earth scum.

758
00:48:37,448 --> 00:48:40,950
        All right,
        where's your spaceship?

759
00:48:40,952 --> 00:48:43,319
 What's a spaceship?

760
00:48:43,321 --> 00:48:45,922
 And what are you?

761
00:48:45,924 --> 00:48:50,126
         I'm a carnivorous duck
         and I'm in a bad mood.

762
00:48:50,128 --> 00:48:53,262
              Start talking or
              I start eating!

763
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:57,266
 Oh, oh, you mean my spaceship.

764
00:48:57,268 --> 00:48:59,936
 I get your drift now.
 I can lead you right to it.

765
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:02,004
        Come on.

766
00:49:02,006 --> 00:49:04,140
        Some alien menace
        you turned out to be!

767
00:49:09,547 --> 00:49:12,348
         - Capt. Bipto?
         - Hmm?

768
00:49:12,350 --> 00:49:16,319
 - I'm picking up
 a signal from the omniblab.
 - Oh?

769
00:49:16,321 --> 00:49:19,689
  <i> On behalf of His Majesty's</i>
  <i> Atomic Space Navy</i>

770
00:49:19,691 --> 00:49:23,359
  <i> I hereby invite you to</i>
  <i> surrender peacefully</i>

771
00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:26,495
  <i> so that we may execute</i>
  <i> you in an orderly fashion.</i>

772
00:49:26,497 --> 00:49:30,266
 <i> Just in case you're</i>
 <i> thinking of</i>
 <i> fleeing in mass panic,</i>

773
00:49:30,268 --> 00:49:33,235
  <i> forget it! We're cutting off</i>
  <i> your only means of escape.</i>

774
00:49:44,315 --> 00:49:46,682
     Brilliant!
     I would give anything

775
00:49:46,684 --> 00:49:49,185
 to see the faces of
 those human scum now!

776
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:53,189
         The off-ramp.

777
00:49:55,093 --> 00:49:57,226
        They blew up

778
00:49:57,228 --> 00:50:00,997
       our new off-ramp!

779
00:50:00,999 --> 00:50:05,267
   <i> Watch as we obliterate a few</i>
   <i> of your puny missile silos.</i>

780
00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:10,006
 Hey
 they're at the co-op!

781
00:50:10,008 --> 00:50:12,341
           Let's get 'em!

782
00:50:12,343 --> 00:50:14,677
 Wait,
 wait, I saw 'em first.

783
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:17,013
             Wait a minute.

784
00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:19,048
 I've got pictures.

785
00:50:19,050 --> 00:50:21,417
         <i> Terrifying, isn't it?</i>

786
00:50:22,620 --> 00:50:24,320
      I've got pictures of'em.

787
00:50:29,460 --> 00:50:32,428
 Hurry up. Everyone's watching.

788
00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:35,631
 He keeps trying to put
 tab A into slot B.

789
00:50:35,633 --> 00:50:40,036
 I am not. It says right here,

790
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:44,607
 "Insert erradignathnic flodad
 into hyperpodnec cyboclutch."
 See?

791
00:50:46,511 --> 00:50:48,611
         Ah, hi.

792
00:50:48,613 --> 00:50:51,347
 You gonna turn me in?

793
00:50:55,787 --> 00:50:58,254
    Don't you want to take
    over the world, too?

794
00:51:00,792 --> 00:51:02,291
       We're ready!

795
00:51:03,194 --> 00:51:05,261
             Fire!

796
00:51:05,263 --> 00:51:06,429
      Ooo!

797
00:51:10,601 --> 00:51:12,401
     Pretty neat, huh?

798
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:29,552
         This isn't supposed to
         happen in small towns.

799
00:51:29,554 --> 00:51:32,421
       I moved here to get away
       from things like this.

800
00:51:34,325 --> 00:51:36,659
 This happen a lot in Chicago?

801
00:51:41,833 --> 00:51:44,500
 This is what planetary
 siege weapons are all about.

802
00:51:44,502 --> 00:51:45,468
          [ Laughing ]

803
00:51:47,238 --> 00:51:49,505
 Wait a minute. Cease fire.

804
00:51:49,507 --> 00:51:52,374
 Something's wrong.

805
00:51:52,376 --> 00:51:54,610
           Wrong?

806
00:51:54,612 --> 00:51:56,178
        What?

807
00:52:00,351 --> 00:52:02,585
 - It's been booby-trapped.
 - And we're the boobies.

808
00:52:03,354 --> 00:52:04,587
          [ Scream ]

809
00:52:07,592 --> 00:52:10,126
                 Ha, ha!

810
00:52:10,128 --> 00:52:11,894
           Another big one!

811
00:52:18,870 --> 00:52:21,570
 [ Giggywig ]
 What is this stuff?

812
00:52:21,572 --> 00:52:25,574
 It's the most
 insidious weapon
 I've ever seen!

813
00:52:25,576 --> 00:52:27,877
          [ Pez Munching ] Hey,
          it doesn't taste bad.

814
00:52:27,879 --> 00:52:30,312
 [ Giggywig ]
 How do we get out of here?

815
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:32,248
             [ Pez ] Follow me!

816
00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:33,482
          [ Munching ]

817
00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:39,155
 Boy, you guys are
 in big trouble now.

818
00:52:39,157 --> 00:52:40,823
 We gotta get out of here fast.

819
00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:50,733
 Hey! It's a map of Big Bean.

820
00:52:50,735 --> 00:52:52,835
           That's my house.

821
00:52:52,837 --> 00:52:54,937
      This is where we are now.

822
00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:56,906
 Show me where
 your ship landed.

823
00:52:59,644 --> 00:53:01,911
 That's old man Wrenchmuller's.

824
00:53:01,913 --> 00:53:04,246
 I know where that is.

825
00:53:04,248 --> 00:53:05,581
       Come on.

826
00:53:12,290 --> 00:53:14,323
 There's one.
 Shoot it you idiot!

827
00:53:14,825 --> 00:53:16,559
          [ Gun Shot ]

828
00:53:16,561 --> 00:53:18,427
 Never mind.
 Shoot that instead.

829
00:53:19,397 --> 00:53:20,429
          [ Gun Shots ]

830
00:53:24,769 --> 00:53:27,403
 Are we all having fun yet?

831
00:53:27,405 --> 00:53:29,705
      - Yahoo.
      - What a disaster.

832
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:32,408
 Is this some kind of trick?

833
00:53:32,410 --> 00:53:34,610
                    Look, kid

834
00:53:34,612 --> 00:53:37,780
    you helped me out of a
    jam so I'll level with you.

835
00:53:37,782 --> 00:53:40,616
     I don't know anything
     about this invasion thing.

836
00:53:40,618 --> 00:53:44,753
    If you help me, I'll do
    my best to try and stop it.

837
00:53:44,755 --> 00:53:46,422
                   Deal?

838
00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:49,358
 Deal.

839
00:53:50,861 --> 00:53:53,529
      This is it! We're here!

840
00:53:53,531 --> 00:53:56,632
 Where are the
 craters and flaming buildings?

841
00:53:56,634 --> 00:54:00,703
         This is where
         the Battle took place.

842
00:54:00,705 --> 00:54:05,274
 We're lost! We missed the
 war and it's your fault.

843
00:54:05,276 --> 00:54:08,510
       - My fault?
       - Maybe if we
       just ask somebody?

844
00:54:08,512 --> 00:54:11,814
 My one chance at the big
 time and you've ruined it.

845
00:54:11,816 --> 00:54:15,451
     - Shut up!
     - This gentleman, perhaps?

846
00:54:15,453 --> 00:54:17,720
       - Excuse me.
       - Oh!

847
00:54:17,722 --> 00:54:20,623
      - You scared me.
      - So sorry.

848
00:54:20,625 --> 00:54:24,026
   No, that's good.
   We're getting somewhere.

849
00:54:24,028 --> 00:54:27,429
 - Which way to the massacre?
 - The what?

850
00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,732
         Oh, you mean
         the... Ha, ha.

851
00:54:29,734 --> 00:54:32,501
     I'm sorry,
     boys, but it's over.

852
00:54:32,503 --> 00:54:34,403
             - Huh?
             - Over?

853
00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:36,805
          I'm afraid so.

854
00:54:36,807 --> 00:54:40,009
 It's a shame you missed the
 ending. That's the best part.

855
00:54:40,011 --> 00:54:41,377
 How so?

856
00:54:41,379 --> 00:54:43,579
                 You see,

857
00:54:43,581 --> 00:54:45,948
            just when it seemed

858
00:54:45,950 --> 00:54:48,484
       the Earth was
       doomed to be taken over,

859
00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:50,819
 the Martians just up and died.

860
00:54:52,757 --> 00:54:56,392
 Really? What happened
 to all their bodies?

861
00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:59,428
     The birds got 'em, mostly.

862
00:54:59,430 --> 00:55:01,597
           Pecking and tearing,
           swallowing mouthfuls

863
00:55:01,599 --> 00:55:04,967
            of rubbery flesh!

864
00:55:04,969 --> 00:55:07,569
 And the dogs
 had their turn at them!

865
00:55:07,571 --> 00:55:10,539
 Fighting over
 scraps and gnawing
 on their little skeletons.

866
00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:15,344
 And just how did they die?

867
00:55:15,346 --> 00:55:16,912
          Our germs got 'em.

868
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:22,384
     - Germs?
     - Yeah. Little microbes

869
00:55:22,386 --> 00:55:25,321
     like the ones that
     gave me this damn cold.

870
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:26,755
           [ Sneezes ]

871
00:55:31,062 --> 00:55:33,595
    - Have a good time, boys.
    - I've got germs!

872
00:55:33,597 --> 00:55:35,631
 Aah! Don't touch me!

873
00:55:35,633 --> 00:55:38,767
        I don't mean to be nosy

874
00:55:38,769 --> 00:55:41,403
              but was there any
              particular reason

875
00:55:41,405 --> 00:55:43,806
             you guys decided
             to invade Earth?

876
00:55:45,710 --> 00:55:49,678
 - Promise you won't laugh?
 - Sure!

877
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,081
  Ever hear of the
  <i> War of the Worlds?</i>

878
00:55:52,083 --> 00:55:54,983
        Guys, guys?

879
00:55:54,985 --> 00:55:56,785
 Get a load of this!

880
00:55:57,822 --> 00:55:59,555
             [ Laughing ]

881
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:06,428
 Where do we go? What do we do?

882
00:56:06,430 --> 00:56:08,797
        - Where do we hide?
        - Back to the ship.

883
00:56:08,799 --> 00:56:10,799
     Back to the asteroids.

884
00:56:10,801 --> 00:56:13,469
 I love the asteroids!

885
00:56:13,471 --> 00:56:17,506
 Nice,
 quiet, old asteroid patrol.

886
00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:21,510
 - That's the life for me.
 - Are you kidding?

887
00:56:21,512 --> 00:56:25,147
 We'll never make it with the
 enemy firepower out there.

888
00:56:25,149 --> 00:56:28,450
           Luckily I
           remembered to bring
           my Distress-o-matic.

889
00:56:28,452 --> 00:56:30,786
          I love this guy!
          Come here, you old...

890
00:56:31,789 --> 00:56:32,955
          [ Buzzing ]

891
00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:35,657
               Aw, no! Not now.

892
00:56:35,659 --> 00:56:37,593
          It's not ready.

893
00:56:37,595 --> 00:56:39,895
           What's not ready?

894
00:56:39,897 --> 00:56:42,798
     The ship. A vacuum-head
     pulled a Distress-o-matic.

895
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,168
 - A what?
 - Emergency beacon autopilot.

896
00:56:46,170 --> 00:56:48,771
  The ship's programmed to
  fly to it no matter what.

897
00:56:51,776 --> 00:56:53,675
             Verndroid, where
             did you put the...

898
00:56:54,178 --> 00:56:57,012
     [ Buzzing ]

899
00:56:57,014 --> 00:57:00,015
       That's a
       Distress-o-matic signal.

900
00:57:00,017 --> 00:57:02,651
 My boys are in trouble.

901
00:57:02,653 --> 00:57:04,753
  Verndroid,
  there's not a moment to lose!

902
00:57:08,592 --> 00:57:10,492
           What?

903
00:57:10,494 --> 00:57:12,094
       No, it's this way.

904
00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,996
            Wait!

905
00:57:35,719 --> 00:57:39,121
 A farmer's all-purpose helper.

906
00:57:39,123 --> 00:57:42,624
     It's guaranteed
     to remove stumps,

907
00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:45,861
 gophers,
 and drastically reduce

908
00:57:45,863 --> 00:57:47,963
 the flight potential
 of Martian spaceships.

909
00:57:50,868 --> 00:57:54,102
 Jim, you stay there.

910
00:57:54,104 --> 00:57:56,071
 I'll be right back.

911
00:58:02,246 --> 00:58:05,581
    I've got to rig an override
    before the engine charges.

912
00:58:05,583 --> 00:58:07,950
 - What do you want me to do?
 - Run for your life!

913
00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:10,185
     Run for your life, boy!

914
00:58:10,187 --> 00:58:12,054
 Oh!

915
00:58:12,056 --> 00:58:14,790
         Abandon ship, shorty.

916
00:58:14,792 --> 00:58:18,193
 Abandon it?
 I've just fixed it.

917
00:58:18,195 --> 00:58:20,963
       Too bad 'cause I'm
       about to un-fix it.

918
00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:24,967
 What's going on?

919
00:58:24,969 --> 00:58:29,605
 - What are you doing?
 - Canceling your ticket home.

920
00:58:29,607 --> 00:58:33,141
 Folks would give money
 to get their hands on you.

921
00:58:33,143 --> 00:58:36,178
       I'm the one
       that's gonna get it!

922
00:58:36,180 --> 00:58:39,915
 I guess you better
 evacuate the premises.

923
00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:43,652
 Let me shut the engines off
 with this little red switch.

924
00:58:48,826 --> 00:58:51,860
 Get out of here, kid!

925
00:58:51,862 --> 00:58:55,697
 Whoa! Come on, Jim.
 We're outta here.

926
00:58:55,699 --> 00:58:57,232
       Wait. Hold it!

927
00:58:57,234 --> 00:58:59,568
 Wait a minute.

928
00:58:59,570 --> 00:59:01,103
 Now we're really outta here!

929
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:11,780
          [ Screams ]

930
00:59:14,051 --> 00:59:16,652
       Forgive me, mother.

931
00:59:16,654 --> 00:59:19,888
 I have to throw away my fins.

932
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,124
            I'll make it
            up to you someday,

933
00:59:22,126 --> 00:59:24,092
             somehow!

934
00:59:25,329 --> 00:59:27,029
                Whoa!

935
00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:31,833
           Listen.

936
00:59:32,870 --> 00:59:34,202
           What's that?

937
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:37,906
            It can't be any
            worse than that.

938
00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:40,142
             Whoa!

939
00:59:47,017 --> 00:59:48,784
 Duck. Duck!

940
00:59:48,786 --> 00:59:50,686
 No! Duck!

941
00:59:50,688 --> 00:59:52,087
                   Wait!

942
00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:57,092
  Hold it right there.
  Are you a Martian?

943
00:59:57,094 --> 00:59:59,328
             I'm a duck!

944
00:59:59,330 --> 01:00:02,331
 If you're a duck, where
 are your webbed feet?

945
01:00:02,333 --> 01:00:04,099
         Snap out of it.

946
01:00:04,101 --> 01:00:06,068
            The Martians,
            they went that way.

947
01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,237
          I said whoa!

948
01:00:13,243 --> 01:00:17,346
 When I say whoa, I mean whoa!

949
01:00:30,094 --> 01:00:32,928
      Come on. We gotta get
      off this crazy rock.

950
01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:43,939
 I guess this is good-bye.

951
01:00:47,277 --> 01:00:49,144
          [ Yelling ]

952
01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:51,113
 Don't take it so hard.

953
01:00:53,717 --> 01:00:55,283
         Aaah!

954
01:00:55,285 --> 01:00:57,252
                What about me?

955
01:00:59,723 --> 01:01:01,857
        Knock it off. I'm busy!

956
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:04,826
             Waaa!

957
01:01:15,439 --> 01:01:18,140
 - The ship, the ship!
 - All right. Let's boogie!

958
01:01:18,142 --> 01:01:20,142
 Activate defense shields.

959
01:01:20,144 --> 01:01:22,744
         The humans are coming!

960
01:01:22,746 --> 01:01:24,446
 The humans are coming!

961
01:01:24,448 --> 01:01:26,982
 Blaznee, get us out of here.

962
01:01:26,984 --> 01:01:30,285
 No can do. Thanks to your
 stupid Distress-o-matic,

963
01:01:30,287 --> 01:01:32,854
 we tweaked our vapor plates.

964
01:01:32,856 --> 01:01:35,691
 Our megaspazz redundancy
 pile has been fried.

965
01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:37,993
 I had to kill the autopilot.

966
01:01:37,995 --> 01:01:40,462
 I don't care. Fix all of it.

967
01:01:40,464 --> 01:01:42,931
 All of you, fix it, fix it.

968
01:01:42,933 --> 01:01:46,001
         Who's that?

969
01:01:46,003 --> 01:01:50,205
 [ Dr. Ziplock ] Clean out the
 erradicamixer and
 unscrew the clutch fader.

970
01:01:50,207 --> 01:01:52,774
       Are you crazy? You
       know how bad
       that's gonna smell?

971
01:01:52,776 --> 01:01:55,243
 Hand me a plasma coupler.

972
01:01:55,245 --> 01:01:58,113
 [ Dr. Ziplock ]
 Who cares what is smells like!

973
01:01:58,115 --> 01:02:01,183
            Come on, already.

974
01:02:01,185 --> 01:02:03,719
          Stand by for takeoff.

975
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:15,797
              That must be our
              boys wreaking
              havoc over there.

976
01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:28,777
 Thank you.

977
01:02:31,482 --> 01:02:33,949
 I shall wait in the transport.

978
01:02:33,951 --> 01:02:36,918
        Good. You do that.

979
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,087
 He's such a good boy.

980
01:02:40,491 --> 01:02:41,490
          [ Gun Shots ]

981
01:02:43,460 --> 01:02:46,094
 Come on.
 What's taking so long?

982
01:02:46,096 --> 01:02:49,364
 Enter the N-38 to the 6th
 power. Now we cross-link

983
01:02:49,366 --> 01:02:52,334
 the improbalator to
 the smalltersnatch.

984
01:02:52,336 --> 01:02:54,503
            My men!

985
01:02:55,239 --> 01:02:56,304
          [ Yelling ]

986
01:02:57,808 --> 01:03:00,375
 - Oh.
 - I must say, I'm impressed,

987
01:03:00,377 --> 01:03:04,346
 a brilliant victory brought
 about by your will to win.

988
01:03:08,385 --> 01:03:10,252
 - Here we go.
 - Let's get 'em!

989
01:03:15,526 --> 01:03:17,993
 What the heck is that thing?

990
01:03:17,995 --> 01:03:19,528
 Who cares? Just shoot it.

991
01:03:24,868 --> 01:03:27,068
      We did win, didn't we?

992
01:03:27,070 --> 01:03:29,905
 No,
 but if we think fast enough

993
01:03:29,907 --> 01:03:31,339
 we just might
 live to lie about it.

994
01:03:36,046 --> 01:03:38,146
       What's the problem?
       Just vaporize

995
01:03:38,148 --> 01:03:40,182
          everyone, everything.

996
01:03:40,184 --> 01:03:42,918
 Poof!  Mission accomplished.

997
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:46,087
     Medals, awards, a parade.
     Next?

998
01:03:46,089 --> 01:03:49,858
 No, wrong,
 false, none of the above.

999
01:03:49,860 --> 01:03:52,527
     - Why? Because we're not
     supposed to be here.
     - What?

1000
01:03:52,529 --> 01:03:55,363
 We goofed. We erred.

1001
01:03:55,365 --> 01:03:57,499
       We misinterpreted
       the data at hand.

1002
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,935
          I told you so.

1003
01:03:59,937 --> 01:04:03,905
 Let me explain the
 situation in a nutshell.

1004
01:04:03,907 --> 01:04:07,175
      There are 5 of us
      and 4 billon of them.

1005
01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:11,279
 They have
 strategic air commands,
 nuclear-powered submarines

1006
01:04:11,281 --> 01:04:13,315
          and John Wayne.

1007
01:04:13,317 --> 01:04:15,483
          We have this.

1008
01:04:15,485 --> 01:04:17,452
        - Is it loaded?
        - Let's find out.

1009
01:04:19,289 --> 01:04:22,324
    Wait!
    We've got bigger problems.

1010
01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:25,060
      - What's worse than this?
      - That.

1011
01:04:25,062 --> 01:04:26,261
       Who let him out?

1012
01:04:28,398 --> 01:04:31,433
  Martians
  I'm afraid we have no choice.

1013
01:04:31,435 --> 01:04:35,103
 We will have to use the D.O.D.

1014
01:04:36,506 --> 01:04:38,940
            Break out the kits.

1015
01:04:38,942 --> 01:04:41,509
         What's the D.O.D?

1016
01:04:41,511 --> 01:04:44,212
               What does it do?

1017
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:52,153
        You can't!
        If you let your friends
        blow up the Earth

1018
01:04:52,155 --> 01:04:54,122
 I'll never speak to you again.

1019
01:04:55,292 --> 01:04:58,059
        Hold your fire.

1020
01:04:58,061 --> 01:04:59,628
 Hold your fire!

1021
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:03,231
          Put your guns down.

1022
01:05:10,474 --> 01:05:13,108
 What the heck is that?

1023
01:05:25,322 --> 01:05:30,425
        Citizens of Earth,
        surrender or die.

1024
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:34,195
 Why should we?
 We've got you surrounded.

1025
01:05:34,197 --> 01:05:36,398
 Take it easy, Klembecker.

1026
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:40,035
        If you don't surrender,
        or attempt to kill us

1027
01:05:40,037 --> 01:05:43,405
     this device will detonate,
     and you, your town

1028
01:05:43,407 --> 01:05:46,207
      and everything within
      a million mile radius

1029
01:05:46,209 --> 01:05:48,143
 will just simply go

1030
01:05:48,145 --> 01:05:49,644
              kaboom!

1031
01:05:49,646 --> 01:05:51,346
             Wow!

1032
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:55,450
 You'll be killed, too!

1033
01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:58,219
 Wrong! This, you see,

1034
01:05:58,221 --> 01:06:00,722
 is the donut of destruction!

1035
01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:07,195
 It will obliterate all of you

1036
01:06:07,197 --> 01:06:10,498
 while leaving us
 completely unscathed.

1037
01:06:10,500 --> 01:06:14,202
 Yeah? What about your ship?

1038
01:06:14,204 --> 01:06:16,972
 Won't it be obliterated, too?

1039
01:06:22,379 --> 01:06:25,680
 - We're doomed!
 - Let's let 'em have it!

1040
01:06:25,682 --> 01:06:29,084
 Gimme that.
 Prepare to die, Earth scum.

1041
01:06:48,038 --> 01:06:49,437
              You did it again.

1042
01:06:49,439 --> 01:06:52,207
              You put tab '"A"
              into slot "B".

1043
01:06:52,209 --> 01:06:55,143
       - I must've told
       you a hundred times!
       - No, I didn't!

1044
01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:58,079
 - It wasn't me.
 - You want to argue or live?

1045
01:06:58,081 --> 01:07:00,181
           Get 'em!

1046
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:02,650
 Are you all right?

1047
01:07:02,652 --> 01:07:06,254
     - I can't move.
     My whole body's asleep.
     - I'll get help.

1048
01:07:08,358 --> 01:07:10,458
 Hey, somebody help. Hurry!

1049
01:07:13,063 --> 01:07:14,229
                      Kathy?

1050
01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:18,767
 Kathy! I've been
 looking all over for you.

1051
01:07:18,769 --> 01:07:20,802
 What the heck is that?

1052
01:07:22,773 --> 01:07:25,340
 You're alive!

1053
01:07:25,342 --> 01:07:28,209
 "Prepare to die, Earth scum."

1054
01:07:28,211 --> 01:07:30,779
      I'll make sure they carve
      that on your tombstone.

1055
01:07:30,781 --> 01:07:33,348
 Aw, shut up.

1056
01:07:33,350 --> 01:07:37,786
 They was all I needed to save
 my farm and I almost had 'em.

1057
01:07:37,788 --> 01:07:42,090
        I could have been rich
        and never had to worry.

1058
01:07:42,092 --> 01:07:44,726
 It's gonna be all right.
 I'll take you to my place.

1059
01:07:44,728 --> 01:07:48,096
 They landed on my farm.
 That counts for something.

1060
01:07:48,098 --> 01:07:50,698
 - Sure it does.
 - Verndroid to Capt. Bipto.

1061
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:54,335
 Capt. Bipto, come in, please.

1062
01:07:54,337 --> 01:07:57,105
 [ Russell ] There's something
 wrong with my brother.

1063
01:07:57,107 --> 01:08:00,475
     - Vern's your brother?
     - Capt. Bipto,
     come in, please!

1064
01:08:00,477 --> 01:08:03,645
 - He used to be.
 - Vern, are you all right?

1065
01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,747
        It must be shock.

1066
01:08:05,749 --> 01:08:08,216
 I'll take him to my place.

1067
01:08:09,553 --> 01:08:11,853
 I'll take care of your truck.

1068
01:08:11,855 --> 01:08:14,856
 Keep an eye on
 that until I get back.

1069
01:08:14,858 --> 01:08:18,259
 Listen,
 Russell is the sheriff now.

1070
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:20,161
 Listen to what he says.

1071
01:08:25,735 --> 01:08:27,569
 [ Russell ] All right,
 let's get organized.

1072
01:08:27,571 --> 01:08:29,637
        Are you all right?

1073
01:08:29,639 --> 01:08:32,607
      Yes.

1074
01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:36,845
    You have a good explanation
    as to what you were doing

1075
01:08:36,847 --> 01:08:39,481
 riding in an alien spacecraft?

1076
01:08:44,588 --> 01:08:47,889
              Nice knowing you.

1077
01:08:55,765 --> 01:08:58,133
     What have we here?

1078
01:08:58,135 --> 01:08:59,834
          Martians got popcorn?

1079
01:09:14,417 --> 01:09:16,417
                 Here you go.

1080
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:22,157
            It'll be all right.

1081
01:09:26,796 --> 01:09:28,796
 [Kathy] What are we gonna do?

1082
01:09:28,798 --> 01:09:30,932
 You're going to bed.

1083
01:09:30,934 --> 01:09:33,301
  - What are you gonna do?
  - I don't know.

1084
01:09:33,303 --> 01:09:35,637
 I'll call
 the air force, I guess.

1085
01:09:35,639 --> 01:09:38,573
 You can't. They hate Martians.

1086
01:09:38,575 --> 01:09:42,644
            They'll shoot and
            drop nuclear bombs.

1087
01:09:42,646 --> 01:09:45,580
 I don't know about bombs
 but they deserve whatever
 they get. Now come on.

1088
01:09:45,582 --> 01:09:47,815
        But, Dad, they're
        not really bad.

1089
01:09:47,817 --> 01:09:50,285
       They're just stupid.

1090
01:09:50,287 --> 01:09:52,587
           They haven't
           really hurt anybody.

1091
01:09:52,589 --> 01:09:55,757
       If we help them get away

1092
01:09:55,759 --> 01:09:59,227
       no one will ever
       know the difference.

1093
01:09:59,229 --> 01:10:01,896
      Honey, I'm supposed
      to be the sheriff.

1094
01:10:01,898 --> 01:10:04,399
    If I don't get
    help to control this

1095
01:10:04,401 --> 01:10:06,701
 and it gets more out of hand

1096
01:10:06,703 --> 01:10:08,903
      it'll be my fault.

1097
01:10:08,905 --> 01:10:11,973
 I might as well
 throw away this badge.

1098
01:10:11,975 --> 01:10:15,376
      That's all you care
      about, your stupid badge.

1099
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:17,879
     If you want to be a
     big, important sheriff,

1100
01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:19,380
      why don't you do
      things yourself?

1101
01:10:21,585 --> 01:10:23,218
       At least they have
       a chance with you.

1102
01:10:43,974 --> 01:10:48,409
 What are we going to do now?

1103
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:51,879
      Looks like we'll have
      to apply for citizenship.

1104
01:10:51,881 --> 01:10:55,617
       If only we
       could have connected
       with the invasion force.

1105
01:10:55,619 --> 01:10:58,553
 It could have been glorious!

1106
01:10:58,555 --> 01:11:00,989
 If we ever get out, remind me.

1107
01:11:00,991 --> 01:11:03,925
     I've got a real
     funny story to tell you.

1108
01:11:03,927 --> 01:11:06,661
                We're doomed to
                spend our lives

1109
01:11:06,663 --> 01:11:09,664
        breathing 74% nitrogen.

1110
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:16,971
         <i> ¶ Oh, give me a home</i>

1111
01:11:16,973 --> 01:11:20,608
         <i> ¶ Where</i>
         <i> the asteroids roam</i>

1112
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:25,546
       <i> ¶ And the dweebs and</i>
       <i> the fuzzymugs play</i>

1113
01:11:25,548 --> 01:11:29,317
     <i> ¶ Where gravity's low</i>

1114
01:11:29,319 --> 01:11:32,920
    <i> ¶ and the water is slow</i>

1115
01:11:32,922 --> 01:11:38,459
       <i> ¶ And the desert</i>
       <i> winds blow you away</i>

1116
01:11:38,461 --> 01:11:43,865
     <i> ¶ Mars, Mars is my home</i>

1117
01:11:43,867 --> 01:11:48,903
        <i> ¶ Where everyone's</i>
        <i> short just like me</i>

1118
01:11:48,905 --> 01:11:51,706
       <i> ¶ I wish I was where</i>

1119
01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:54,909
          <i> ¶ There is not</i>
          <i> so much air</i>

1120
01:11:54,911 --> 01:12:00,348
        <i> ¶ And two moons to</i>
        <i> smile down upon me ¶</i>

1121
01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:13,528
 Hey, what are you doing here?

1122
01:12:13,530 --> 01:12:15,396
    There's no place like home.

1123
01:12:16,966 --> 01:12:19,334
    There's no place like home.

1124
01:12:20,537 --> 01:12:23,404
    There's no place like home.

1125
01:12:37,354 --> 01:12:40,888
 Hey, shortstuff, welcome back.

1126
01:12:40,890 --> 01:12:43,558
 We're trying to figure
 out how to get outta here.

1127
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:45,660
          Got any bright ideas?

1128
01:12:49,399 --> 01:12:53,434
   Well,
   bless your little batteries.

1129
01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:59,006
 Number for the Strategic
 Air Command, please.

1130
01:12:59,008 --> 01:13:01,709
 <i> What extension, please?</i>

1131
01:13:01,711 --> 01:13:07,115
 Do you have a listing for
 reporting unusual phenomena?

1132
01:13:07,117 --> 01:13:09,384
        <i> - A U.F.O.?</i>
        - That'll do.

1133
01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:11,652
         <i> There's no</i>
         <i> such listing.</i>

1134
01:13:11,654 --> 01:13:15,990
  <i> I do have unlimited</i>
  <i> listings for psychiatrists.</i>

1135
01:13:15,992 --> 01:13:18,426
 Wait, lady,
 I don't need to hear this.

1136
01:13:23,066 --> 01:13:24,999
             Oh, no.

1137
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:28,770
 Kathy?

1138
01:13:28,772 --> 01:13:31,706
 Kathy?

1139
01:13:31,708 --> 01:13:33,875
 Kathy?

1140
01:13:33,877 --> 01:13:36,144
 [ Kathy ] You melonheads!

1141
01:13:36,146 --> 01:13:38,746
 That was just
 an old radio show.

1142
01:13:40,517 --> 01:13:43,418
 I figured out why you're here.

1143
01:13:43,420 --> 01:13:46,421
 You were sent to ruin my
 Halloween, weren't you?

1144
01:13:46,423 --> 01:13:49,157
    Capt. Bipto to Verndroid.
    Come in, please.

1145
01:13:49,159 --> 01:13:51,592
 Capt. Bipto to Verndroid!

1146
01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:54,195
       Yes, Capt. Bipto?

1147
01:13:54,197 --> 01:13:57,665
     Remember the surprise
     we were working on?

1148
01:13:57,667 --> 01:13:59,967
       The time has come

1149
01:13:59,969 --> 01:14:03,771
    to unleash its terror!

1150
01:14:03,773 --> 01:14:06,941
 Would you like it
 equipped with nuclear warheads
 or particle beam weapons?

1151
01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:09,043
         Who me?

1152
01:14:09,045 --> 01:14:12,046
         <i> Whatever. Be creative.</i>
         <i> We'll meet you there.</i>

1153
01:14:17,687 --> 01:14:20,822
        - Well?
        - Let's do it.

1154
01:14:25,061 --> 01:14:26,060
          [ Beeping ]

1155
01:14:27,063 --> 01:14:29,564
        - Aw!
        - What's wrong?

1156
01:14:29,566 --> 01:14:32,033
 The hyperfusion-feedback
 governor on the ship

1157
01:14:32,035 --> 01:14:34,235
 just had a meltdown.

1158
01:14:34,237 --> 01:14:36,170
 If we don't get
 back to zero gravity

1159
01:14:36,172 --> 01:14:39,774
 in the next, oh, hour,

1160
01:14:39,776 --> 01:14:41,976
 the ship's
 hyperdrive will implode

1161
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,178
 creating
 an ever-expanding hole

1162
01:14:44,180 --> 01:14:47,782
 in the space-time continuum.

1163
01:14:47,784 --> 01:14:51,586
 Making you, me, and the
 rest of this galaxy

1164
01:14:51,588 --> 01:14:54,922
 some other universe's problem.
 Right?

1165
01:14:54,924 --> 01:14:56,123
 Close enough.

1166
01:15:17,947 --> 01:15:20,648
 [ Giggywig ]
 We look stupid, don't we?

1167
01:15:20,650 --> 01:15:23,184
 Keep your head down.
 Maybe no one will see us.

1168
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:25,086
 I don't see why
 I have to pedal.

1169
01:15:25,088 --> 01:15:27,255
 Nobody rides for free.

1170
01:15:27,257 --> 01:15:28,956
        What's he doing?

1171
01:15:32,929 --> 01:15:35,763
             It's my dad!

1172
01:15:35,765 --> 01:15:39,000
        - Did he spot us?
        - I don't think so.

1173
01:15:42,305 --> 01:15:46,574
 [ Klembecker ] Outta the way.
 Shotgun coming through.

1174
01:15:46,576 --> 01:15:48,576
 We need more ammo.

1175
01:15:50,213 --> 01:15:54,615
     - Did you get them?
     - We almost got 'em.

1176
01:15:54,617 --> 01:15:57,852
 - Mr. Klembecker shot a bunny.
 - Shut up!

1177
01:15:57,854 --> 01:16:00,288
      - It was charging!
      - Let's stay cool.

1178
01:16:00,290 --> 01:16:02,757
 I don't want
 anybody to get hurt.

1179
01:16:02,759 --> 01:16:06,327
          We're trapped.
          What are we gonna do?

1180
01:16:06,329 --> 01:16:09,764
 Die horrible, searing
 deaths in less than an hour.

1181
01:16:11,234 --> 01:16:13,668
   Can we help?

1182
01:16:13,670 --> 01:16:15,937
 [ Vern ] No, I'm fine.

1183
01:16:15,939 --> 01:16:19,840
 A little more ocular
 welding and we'll be set.

1184
01:16:19,842 --> 01:16:21,842
 What the heck is that?

1185
01:16:21,844 --> 01:16:25,680
    It's a diversion. We're
    gonna get the ship back.

1186
01:16:25,682 --> 01:16:28,115
 You better not try to stop us!

1187
01:16:28,117 --> 01:16:31,852
 If you get through me,
 you'll have to deal with him.

1188
01:16:31,854 --> 01:16:35,089
 Relax,
 kid, I've just come to help.

1189
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:41,095
 I already got
 a whole bunch of pictures.

1190
01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:45,766
 If I help them get away,
 I'll have the only ones.

1191
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:48,869
 Gentlemen, I present

1192
01:16:48,871 --> 01:16:51,639
      the farmzoid.

1193
01:17:07,190 --> 01:17:08,823
 - All right.
 - Hurry, hurry!

1194
01:17:20,703 --> 01:17:23,337
 Now that's a diversion!

1195
01:17:28,745 --> 01:17:31,145
                We can't wait.

1196
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,215
          We have to chance it.

1197
01:17:34,217 --> 01:17:37,151
 I told you to go to bed!

1198
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:43,391
 Take me to your secret
 government labs, and cut me
 into wafer-thin sections.

1199
01:17:43,393 --> 01:17:47,061
        They want to go home.
        They've made a mistake.

1200
01:17:47,063 --> 01:17:49,730
 And they're sorry. Aren't you?

1201
01:17:49,732 --> 01:17:52,199
 And getting
 sorrier by the minute.

1202
01:17:52,201 --> 01:17:54,769
       The ship's gonna blow up

1203
01:17:54,771 --> 01:17:56,203
       and destroy
       the Earth in 15 minutes!

1204
01:17:57,440 --> 01:17:59,273
             Really, Dad.

1205
01:17:59,275 --> 01:18:01,409
 Hey, it's your planet.

1206
01:18:01,411 --> 01:18:03,878
 Just for the sake of argument,

1207
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,948
       how are you
       planning on getting out?

1208
01:18:07,950 --> 01:18:10,217
 There's a few things
 I haven't tried yet.

1209
01:18:10,219 --> 01:18:12,853
 They're risky,
 but better than death.

1210
01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:14,055
 Probably.

1211
01:18:19,896 --> 01:18:24,131
   We worked really hard on
   creating this big diversion.

1212
01:18:24,133 --> 01:18:26,300
            A diversion?

1213
01:18:26,302 --> 01:18:29,003
     What kind of a diversion?

1214
01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:31,739
         What the heck is that?

1215
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:40,748
            Uh, that diversion.

1216
01:18:49,392 --> 01:18:53,761
            I gotta admit.
            That's a diversion.

1217
01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:06,807
         I don't care what the
         heck that thing is.

1218
01:19:07,877 --> 01:19:09,443
          Adios.

1219
01:19:09,445 --> 01:19:12,513
         Hey, Klembecker?

1220
01:19:12,515 --> 01:19:14,482
      Laugh now, butthead!

1221
01:19:14,484 --> 01:19:16,283
 I'll drive.

1222
01:19:18,054 --> 01:19:19,887
 Hey?

1223
01:19:20,790 --> 01:19:23,524
      Mayday, Mayday.

1224
01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:27,128
          Look, you guys caused
          a lot of damage here.

1225
01:19:27,130 --> 01:19:29,830
      You're gonna have to
      make restitution somehow.

1226
01:19:29,832 --> 01:19:32,767
        If you promise me that,
        then I'll help you.

1227
01:19:32,769 --> 01:19:35,302
 Promise me that you can hit
 that blinking red light

1228
01:19:35,304 --> 01:19:37,538
 in the next 10 seconds

1229
01:19:37,540 --> 01:19:40,374
 or we're gonna need help
 from a higher source.

1230
01:19:40,376 --> 01:19:41,842
         Hang on.

1231
01:19:44,247 --> 01:19:46,046
 Aaah!

1232
01:19:46,048 --> 01:19:47,848
     - Which red button?
     - That one.

1233
01:19:48,818 --> 01:19:51,152
 Not that one!

1234
01:19:56,893 --> 01:19:59,360
 Mayday. Somebody answer me.

1235
01:20:00,997 --> 01:20:04,165
 Capt. Bipto, what's wrong?

1236
01:20:04,167 --> 01:20:06,901
        We've got problems.
        We'll need a miracle

1237
01:20:06,903 --> 01:20:10,204
 to get this baby off the
 ground, much less outer space.

1238
01:20:10,206 --> 01:20:14,241
 Can you tip that
 contraption up on its butt?

1239
01:20:14,243 --> 01:20:16,811
    If the vertical orientation
    struts are functioning.

1240
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:18,546
 I think I've got you covered

1241
01:20:18,548 --> 01:20:21,182
   but we have to get
   back to the farm.

1242
01:20:21,184 --> 01:20:22,483
 - Tell them to meet us there.
 - Right.

1243
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:25,920
 Meet at the Wrenchmuller farm.

1244
01:20:25,922 --> 01:20:28,322
         Bipto out.

1245
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:31,258
 Hey, where do you guys
 grow your Wrenchmullers?

1246
01:20:32,595 --> 01:20:35,296
 There must be
 something we can use.

1247
01:20:35,298 --> 01:20:38,165
 You can't just take a car.

1248
01:20:40,102 --> 01:20:42,136
           It's all right, kid.

1249
01:20:42,138 --> 01:20:43,537
             I know this guy.

1250
01:20:48,845 --> 01:20:51,245
          Vern, you come
          down right now, hear?

1251
01:20:54,884 --> 01:20:57,952
 Shoot,
 my helpless friends, shoot!

1252
01:20:57,954 --> 01:21:00,020
 Fire everything you've got.

1253
01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:01,522
 The farmzoid is impervious.

1254
01:21:03,459 --> 01:21:06,160
 That's it.
 Mom's gonna hear about this!

1255
01:21:14,303 --> 01:21:16,503
       - Make a left.
       - Left?

1256
01:21:16,505 --> 01:21:18,339
      - Left?
      - Right. I mean, yes.

1257
01:21:18,341 --> 01:21:21,342
        Come back, you cowards.
        Come back here!

1258
01:21:21,344 --> 01:21:24,278
       It's just
       a big toy robot.

1259
01:21:25,982 --> 01:21:29,316
 If I win, the whole tank wins

1260
01:21:29,318 --> 01:21:31,418
      not just one guy.

1261
01:21:33,656 --> 01:21:35,422
         Aaah!

1262
01:21:43,933 --> 01:21:45,332
          [ Laughs ]

1263
01:21:48,337 --> 01:21:51,505
   In case anybody's interested

1264
01:21:51,507 --> 01:21:54,341
       we have 12 minutes until
       the end of the world.

1265
01:21:54,343 --> 01:21:56,911
 Put this puppy
 into hyperdrive!

1266
01:21:56,913 --> 01:21:59,113
      Maybe I better
      take a shortcut.

1267
01:22:05,221 --> 01:22:07,421
 Listen,
 I'd like to live to see

1268
01:22:07,423 --> 01:22:09,323
 the end of the world!

1269
01:22:09,325 --> 01:22:10,591
         Okay?

1270
01:22:12,929 --> 01:22:15,062
              There's the farm.

1271
01:22:17,333 --> 01:22:19,400
               Whoa!

1272
01:22:25,975 --> 01:22:28,976
              I'm telling you,
              that ship has got

1273
01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:31,111
   the flight
   potential of a cement truck.

1274
01:22:31,113 --> 01:22:33,147
 I can fix that.

1275
01:22:34,517 --> 01:22:36,383
 What's that?

1276
01:22:36,385 --> 01:22:40,120
 That's a farmer's
 all-purpose helper.

1277
01:22:40,122 --> 01:22:44,625
 It's guaranteed to
 remove stumps, gophers,

1278
01:22:44,627 --> 01:22:48,062
 and improve
 the flight potential
 of a Martian spaceship.

1279
01:22:48,064 --> 01:22:50,965
         - Get outta here.
         - Help yourselves.

1280
01:22:50,967 --> 01:22:53,600
 Wait up. This I gotta see.

1281
01:22:53,602 --> 01:22:57,071
<i> This is your captain speaking.</i>

1282
01:22:57,073 --> 01:23:01,075
    <i> I'd like to thank you</i>
    <i> for flying Air Blaznee.</i>

1283
01:23:01,077 --> 01:23:04,178
  <i> I hope we live long enough</i>
  <i> to do this again sometime.</i>

1284
01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:07,014
 Come on. You're not
 gonna believe this!

1285
01:23:10,186 --> 01:23:13,087
 - Bypass the ecto-thruster.
 - Guys, wait a minute.

1286
01:23:13,089 --> 01:23:15,189
 That's the guy who
 wants to blow us up.

1287
01:23:15,191 --> 01:23:18,092
 Flight One to Mars
 now boarding.

1288
01:23:18,094 --> 01:23:20,060
            What are you
            gonna do with this?

1289
01:23:20,062 --> 01:23:22,196
 Sheriff, ain't you ever put

1290
01:23:22,198 --> 01:23:25,699
 a cherry bomb
 under a garbage can?

1291
01:23:25,701 --> 01:23:28,068
      - Ha-ha-ha.
      - A what?

1292
01:23:28,070 --> 01:23:30,371
    Don't you guys ever listen?

1293
01:23:30,373 --> 01:23:33,107
 - Anybody seen my astroplans?
 - Who took
 the torus calibrator?

1294
01:23:33,109 --> 01:23:35,209
            Listen to me.

1295
01:23:35,211 --> 01:23:37,544
      Blaznee, we'll fix that
      later. Prepare to launch.

1296
01:23:37,546 --> 01:23:40,280
      - This isn't gonna work.
      - Don't worry.

1297
01:23:40,282 --> 01:23:42,750
 Our Earth friends are gonna
 give us an extra boost.

1298
01:23:42,752 --> 01:23:46,286
     That guy wants to
     boost his bank account.

1299
01:23:46,288 --> 01:23:48,555
        He's trying to
        blow up the ship.

1300
01:23:48,557 --> 01:23:50,624
          Assume vertical
          launch position.

1301
01:23:53,062 --> 01:23:55,629
        Verndroid,
        this is Capt. Bipto.

1302
01:23:55,631 --> 01:23:58,165
          Are you receiving me?

1303
01:23:58,167 --> 01:24:00,701
  - Verndroid, come in, please.
  <i> - Yes, Capt. Bipto.</i>

1304
01:24:00,703 --> 01:24:03,070
 How may I be of assistance?

1305
01:24:03,072 --> 01:24:06,173
 Your assignment is complete,
 Verndroid.

1306
01:24:06,175 --> 01:24:08,475
      Your bravery and devotion
      have saved us all.

1307
01:24:08,477 --> 01:24:12,212
     I am so proud of you, son.

1308
01:24:12,214 --> 01:24:15,182
        You are no
        longer my robot slave.

1309
01:24:15,184 --> 01:24:18,385
              Live and be free!

1310
01:24:18,387 --> 01:24:20,687
       <i> Thank you, Capt. Bipto.</i>

1311
01:24:20,689 --> 01:24:22,723
      It has been
      a pleasure serving you.

1312
01:24:22,725 --> 01:24:24,191
                 Now

1313
01:24:26,762 --> 01:24:29,096
 <i> I must bid you adieu.</i>

1314
01:24:29,098 --> 01:24:31,398
 There's much work to be done.

1315
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:33,233
 You see,
 I have plans for this world,

1316
01:24:33,769 --> 01:24:35,836
       big plans!

1317
01:24:37,273 --> 01:24:39,239
       Verndroid away!

1318
01:24:41,610 --> 01:24:43,777
                   Mm-hmm.

1319
01:24:43,779 --> 01:24:47,147
   NASA spends years
   calculating fuel loads,

1320
01:24:47,149 --> 01:24:51,151
 launch pressures, and
 orbital-window dynamics.

1321
01:24:51,153 --> 01:24:53,654
 You're just
 gonna stuff dynamite
 under this and light the fuse?

1322
01:24:54,657 --> 01:24:56,757
             Actually,

1323
01:24:56,759 --> 01:24:59,493
      I was gonna use this.

1324
01:24:59,495 --> 01:25:01,161
 Kids, get behind that tractor.

1325
01:25:07,603 --> 01:25:10,604
 This is supposed to save us
 from the end of the world?

1326
01:25:11,707 --> 01:25:14,808
        Now, before we go

1327
01:25:14,810 --> 01:25:18,278
 does anyone need to
 go to the bathroom?

1328
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:22,549
 Is this really gonna
 work? If it's not

1329
01:25:22,551 --> 01:25:25,552
 we ought to figure out
 how to defuse that
 nuclear cosmos-whatever it is.

1330
01:25:25,554 --> 01:25:27,521
            You know how?

1331
01:25:27,523 --> 01:25:29,823
             No.

1332
01:25:29,825 --> 01:25:32,793
      Then move out,
      or this is gonna
      solve everyone's problem,

1333
01:25:38,801 --> 01:25:41,602
        one way or another.

1334
01:25:41,604 --> 01:25:44,805
 Hey,
 I'm not going home in a bag!

1335
01:25:44,807 --> 01:25:47,474
 I made it! I'm never
 gonna do this again.

1336
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,176
 Same here.

1337
01:25:49,745 --> 01:25:51,311
               Oh!

1338
01:26:00,856 --> 01:26:03,690
         Red alert.
         Run for your lives!

1339
01:26:07,863 --> 01:26:10,697
         Leave them alone.

1340
01:26:10,699 --> 01:26:14,635
      - Kathy, get back.
      - They want to go home.

1341
01:26:14,637 --> 01:26:17,404
        Impossible.
        They have failed
        in their mission.

1342
01:26:17,406 --> 01:26:21,575
 If you kill them
 now, the gravity hyperfusion

1343
01:26:21,577 --> 01:26:23,644
        pheto-cuisinart
        will blow up in

1344
01:26:23,646 --> 01:26:26,346
 5 minutes or so.

1345
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:28,782
   The Earth will implode and
   throw Mars out of orbit

1346
01:26:28,784 --> 01:26:31,552
 and it'll go
 crashing into the sun.

1347
01:26:31,554 --> 01:26:35,355
 That would be a blemish on
 the old perfection record.

1348
01:26:35,958 --> 01:26:37,824
       And expensive.

1349
01:26:37,826 --> 01:26:40,861
 What if they took it out
 of your paycheck? Whoa!

1350
01:26:40,863 --> 01:26:43,530
      What's a planet
      cost these days?

1351
01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:45,666
         4 minutes, 30 seconds.

1352
01:26:51,307 --> 01:26:54,408
            Very well.

1353
01:26:54,410 --> 01:26:56,710
 Return to your spacecraft.

1354
01:26:56,712 --> 01:26:58,812
         Every Pez for himself!

1355
01:27:05,788 --> 01:27:09,656
        Blaznee, you'll have
        exactly 6.38621 seconds

1356
01:27:09,658 --> 01:27:12,559
      to fire the main engine
      to reach escape velocity.

1357
01:27:12,561 --> 01:27:14,394
       Never tell me
       the decimal points.

1358
01:27:16,532 --> 01:27:21,301
       I'm gonna grow up to
       be 5'7, 5'8 easy.

1359
01:27:21,303 --> 01:27:23,337
           You're full grown.

1360
01:27:23,339 --> 01:27:28,308
      I'm animal.
      You're polypropylene.

1361
01:27:28,911 --> 01:27:31,378
              Besides

1362
01:27:31,380 --> 01:27:33,480
        they really need you.

1363
01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:38,018
           We can write

1364
01:27:38,020 --> 01:27:41,788
             or something.

1365
01:27:41,790 --> 01:27:44,024
      Geez,
      you're breaking my heart.

1366
01:27:45,361 --> 01:27:46,627
            Here.

1367
01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:55,269
 Come on, shortstuff, before
 they check for green cards.

1368
01:28:00,309 --> 01:28:03,810
 Hey,
 the next time you guys visit

1369
01:28:03,812 --> 01:28:06,480
     pay closer attention
     to our traffic laws.

1370
01:28:06,482 --> 01:28:09,516
 Next time we visit?
 Yeech!

1371
01:28:11,053 --> 01:28:14,888
 Well, thanks for not killing
 them, Mr. Enforcer Drone.

1372
01:28:14,890 --> 01:28:18,592
 Sorry to interrupt. 3 minutes!

1373
01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:21,361
       You misunderstood.
       Once we reach

1374
01:28:21,363 --> 01:28:23,330
      the cold, airless
      depths of outer space,

1375
01:28:23,332 --> 01:28:26,533
        I shall incinerate them

1376
01:28:26,535 --> 01:28:28,902
       and toss their charred,
       sizzling skeletons
       into the cosmos.

1377
01:28:28,904 --> 01:28:31,972
 Huh? Say what?

1378
01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:34,308
 A quick vacuuming,
 a little air freshener

1379
01:28:34,310 --> 01:28:36,677
    and will have completed
    my duties with perfection.

1380
01:28:36,679 --> 01:28:37,911
 What?

1381
01:28:39,348 --> 01:28:40,547
 You can't do that!

1382
01:28:41,450 --> 01:28:43,617
 Better them than us.

1383
01:28:43,619 --> 01:28:45,686
          I beg your pardon?

1384
01:28:45,688 --> 01:28:48,555
        I thought you were
        nice, but I was wrong.

1385
01:28:48,557 --> 01:28:51,325
 You're just a selfish old man.

1386
01:28:51,327 --> 01:28:54,394
 They caused more trouble
 than they was worth.

1387
01:28:54,396 --> 01:28:57,764
 If it hadn't been for you,

1388
01:28:57,766 --> 01:29:00,467
 things might have gotten
 further out of hand.

1389
01:29:00,469 --> 01:29:02,803
 Somebody might even
 have gotten killed.

1390
01:29:02,805 --> 01:29:07,574
 I'd say that makes you a
 hero in both our planets.

1391
01:29:07,576 --> 01:29:11,712
 As the ambassador
 of the planet Earth

1392
01:29:11,714 --> 01:29:14,648
 I would like to present
 you with an award

1393
01:29:14,650 --> 01:29:16,950
 as a token of
 our appreciation.

1394
01:29:18,087 --> 01:29:21,621
 The trinitrotoluene award.

1395
01:29:23,759 --> 01:29:26,460
 Kids,
 run and get the champagne

1396
01:29:26,462 --> 01:29:29,029
 so we can do this up proper.

1397
01:29:29,031 --> 01:29:32,833
       I accept
       in the name of goodwill,
       with hope

1398
01:29:32,835 --> 01:29:34,968
   for peaceful coexistence
   of our two worlds.

1399
01:29:36,105 --> 01:29:37,971
        It certainly isn't
        much to look at, is it?

1400
01:29:39,808 --> 01:29:43,110
 Let me light it up for you
 so you can get
 the full effect.

1401
01:29:49,585 --> 01:29:51,385
                How pretty!

1402
01:29:54,123 --> 01:29:57,457
 How'd you like to have a photo

1403
01:29:57,459 --> 01:29:59,526
 so you can remember this?

1404
01:29:59,528 --> 01:30:02,162
 Yes, please.

1405
01:30:02,164 --> 01:30:07,768
 Let me back up a bit
 so I can get
 the whole ship into it.

1406
01:30:07,770 --> 01:30:10,804
          Are you sure
          there's enough light?

1407
01:30:10,806 --> 01:30:13,774
        - Oh, there's gonna
        be plenty of light.
        - I'm so proud.

1408
01:30:13,776 --> 01:30:15,509
      I don't know what to say.

1409
01:30:16,578 --> 01:30:19,446
 You can just say your prayers.

1410
01:30:23,819 --> 01:30:25,786
        - What the...
        - Why aren't we moving?

1411
01:30:29,958 --> 01:30:31,958
 Great. We're stuck here.

1412
01:30:33,462 --> 01:30:35,629
 I guess he left.

1413
01:30:37,099 --> 01:30:39,833
       What happened?

1414
01:30:39,835 --> 01:30:43,503
 It's okay. Mr. Wrenchmuller
 blew up the enforcer drone.

1415
01:30:43,505 --> 01:30:45,505
 - Hooray for our side!
 - Time to go.

1416
01:30:46,809 --> 01:30:50,577
 - Take care of yourselves.
 - Break it up.

1417
01:30:50,579 --> 01:30:52,946
             There's billions
             of lives at stake.

1418
01:30:52,948 --> 01:30:54,514
                      Move!

1419
01:30:55,784 --> 01:30:58,452
 Don't need to tell me twice.

1420
01:31:23,045 --> 01:31:24,945
 Prepare for takeoff.

1421
01:31:25,914 --> 01:31:29,082
    - Start the countdown.
    - Five

1422
01:31:29,918 --> 01:31:31,651
        - Wait a minute.
        - four

1423
01:31:32,754 --> 01:31:36,556
        - three, two...
        - I'm not in my seat.

1424
01:31:36,558 --> 01:31:37,791
               ...one!

1425
01:31:48,036 --> 01:31:50,604
 You blew them up!

1426
01:31:50,606 --> 01:31:53,240
           Yeah, way up!

1427
01:31:55,711 --> 01:31:57,978
         - Go, go, go!
         - Yeah!

1428
01:32:00,649 --> 01:32:01,248
          [ Cheering ]

1429
01:32:12,194 --> 01:32:13,994
                Whoa!

1430
01:32:24,540 --> 01:32:27,574
        That's it. I Quit!

1431
01:32:27,576 --> 01:32:30,644
 Do something!
 You're the pilot.

1432
01:32:30,646 --> 01:32:32,546
     How 'bout if I eject?

1433
01:32:32,548 --> 01:32:33,880
         Lighten the load.

1434
01:32:36,218 --> 01:32:38,885
     - Hurry it up, Pez.
     - I'm lightening!

1435
01:32:38,887 --> 01:32:41,555
        We're too heavy.
        Something else must go.

1436
01:32:41,557 --> 01:32:45,125
    We've dumped
    everything we can dump.

1437
01:32:45,127 --> 01:32:48,261
        - Except
        - Hit it, Giggy.

1438
01:32:54,570 --> 01:32:56,069
          - Yeah!
          - Yea!

1439
01:33:05,614 --> 01:33:09,616
 You know, the last time I put
 a cherry bomb
 under a garbage can

1440
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:14,054
                the garbage can
                didn't make it.

1441
01:33:16,091 --> 01:33:17,958
            I guess somebody
            up there likes you.

1442
01:33:21,196 --> 01:33:23,296
 They just got lucky.

1443
01:33:28,270 --> 01:33:30,870
 When you see my dog,

1444
01:33:30,872 --> 01:33:33,073
 tell him we're
 moving tomorrow.

1445
01:33:48,724 --> 01:33:52,192
 Good morning,
 Mr. Wrenchmuller.

1446
01:33:52,194 --> 01:33:55,161
       The judge send you to
       come and throw me off?

1447
01:33:55,163 --> 01:33:56,963
                    No,

1448
01:33:59,635 --> 01:34:02,135
 but I'm afraid this is legal.

1449
01:34:02,137 --> 01:34:06,139
 It's wrong, but it's legal.

1450
01:34:06,141 --> 01:34:09,242
     I was bringing somebody I
     thought you'd want to see.

1451
01:34:09,244 --> 01:34:11,778
 Him? What do I
 want to see him for?

1452
01:34:11,780 --> 01:34:13,713
                  Not him. Him.

1453
01:34:15,884 --> 01:34:17,884
       Aw, Jim, Jim.

1454
01:34:18,787 --> 01:34:20,720
 Jim, boy.

1455
01:34:20,722 --> 01:34:23,957
 That's all very touching.

1456
01:34:23,959 --> 01:34:27,260
 As you can see,
 I've got things to do.

1457
01:34:27,262 --> 01:34:30,897
 Unless you've got the cash
 or a crop to sign over,

1458
01:34:30,899 --> 01:34:33,166
 I suggest you
 hand over those keys.

1459
01:34:33,168 --> 01:34:35,301
      Hold it, Jim. Jim!

1460
01:34:35,303 --> 01:34:38,672
 He ain't worth your breath!

1461
01:34:38,674 --> 01:34:42,375
 You want these keys, do you?

1462
01:34:42,377 --> 01:34:43,376
           Ha, ha, ha.

1463
01:34:44,312 --> 01:34:46,279
           Go get 'em!

1464
01:34:54,823 --> 01:34:58,124
            I'm sorry that it
            has to be this way.

1465
01:34:58,126 --> 01:35:00,860
        You wanna hear
        something funny?

1466
01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:03,096
                    Sure.

1467
01:35:03,098 --> 01:35:06,299
      You're gonna
      hear it right about

1468
01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:08,368
              now.

1469
01:35:08,370 --> 01:35:11,171
 Aaah!

1470
01:35:31,460 --> 01:35:33,193
               Aw!

1471
01:35:36,198 --> 01:35:38,098
                  I'll be back!

1472
01:36:00,055 --> 01:36:02,789
      We're only a few
      hours behind schedule.

1473
01:36:02,791 --> 01:36:05,825
     I was just thinking,
     if we hurry

1474
01:36:05,827 --> 01:36:09,529
 we might make it to Arcturus
 in time to help
 torture prisoners.

1475
01:36:09,531 --> 01:36:11,965
   [ All ] Aw, shut up!

1476
01:36:28,383 --> 01:36:32,485
  <i> ¶ Last Halloween</i>
  <i> I had a fright</i>

1477
01:36:32,487 --> 01:36:35,922
  <i> ¶ In all my life saw</i>
  <i> the strangest sight</i>

1478
01:36:35,924 --> 01:36:39,559
 <i> ¶ Never did think I might</i>

1479
01:36:39,561 --> 01:36:43,263
  <i> ¶ Ever live to tell</i>
  <i> what I saw that night</i>

1480
01:36:43,265 --> 01:36:47,233
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1481
01:36:47,235 --> 01:36:50,270
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1482
01:36:50,272 --> 01:36:54,073
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1483
01:36:54,075 --> 01:36:56,543
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1484
01:36:58,013 --> 01:37:00,046
 <i> ¶ They were green men</i>

1485
01:37:00,048 --> 01:37:02,982
 <i> ¶ With strange lips</i>

1486
01:37:02,984 --> 01:37:06,186
  <i> ¶ And bad skin</i>
  <i> and a weird chin</i>

1487
01:37:06,188 --> 01:37:09,589
  <i> ¶ I almost died when</i>
  <i> he grabbed my head</i>

1488
01:37:09,591 --> 01:37:13,893
  <i> ¶ The little green guy</i>
  <i> just smiled and said</i>

1489
01:37:13,895 --> 01:37:17,230
 <i> ¶ "Take me to your leader.</i>
 <i> Take me to your</i>
 <i> leader now!"</i>

1490
01:37:17,232 --> 01:37:20,834
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1491
01:37:20,836 --> 01:37:24,237
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1492
01:37:24,239 --> 01:37:28,208
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1493
01:37:28,210 --> 01:37:30,310
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1494
01:37:32,547 --> 01:37:35,415
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1495
01:37:35,417 --> 01:37:37,417
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1496
01:37:39,855 --> 01:37:42,322
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1497
01:37:42,324 --> 01:37:45,391
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1498
01:37:45,393 --> 01:37:47,861
 <i> ¶ Martians are taking</i>

1499
01:37:47,863 --> 01:37:49,996
 <i> ¶ Over the world</i>

1500
01:37:49,998 --> 01:37:53,199
  <i> ¶ The Martians</i>
  <i> have landed.</i>

1501
01:37:53,201 --> 01:37:56,436
  <i> ¶ The Martians are coming!</i>
  <i> The Martians are coming!</i>

1502
01:37:56,438 --> 01:37:59,239
  <i> ¶ The Martians are</i>
  <i> coming! Ha-ha-ha!</i>

1503
01:37:59,241 --> 01:38:02,275
  <i> ¶ Wo-o-wo-o-wo</i>
  <i> wo-o-wo-o-wo</i>

1504
01:38:02,277 --> 01:38:04,210
  <i> ¶ The Martians</i>
  <i> have landed.</i>

1505
01:38:13,588 --> 01:38:16,956
  <i> ¶ What a world how</i>
  <i> it changed my life</i>

1506
01:38:16,958 --> 01:38:18,958
 <i> ¶ I got a green girl</i>

1507
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:21,394
 <i> ¶ Made her my new wife</i>

1508
01:38:21,396 --> 01:38:24,931
  <i> ¶ Gotta green house</i>
  <i> and I think maybe</i>

1509
01:38:24,933 --> 01:38:30,270
  <i> ¶ Early next year I</i>
  <i> get a shiny green baby</i>

1510
01:38:30,272 --> 01:38:34,207
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1511
01:38:34,209 --> 01:38:37,377
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1512
01:38:37,379 --> 01:38:41,447
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1513
01:38:41,449 --> 01:38:43,549
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1514
01:38:43,551 --> 01:38:46,219
 <i> ¶ I dig it</i>

1515
01:38:46,221 --> 01:38:48,488
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1516
01:38:48,490 --> 01:38:51,457
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world</i>

1517
01:38:51,459 --> 01:38:55,662
  <i> ¶ Wo-o-wo-o-wo</i>
  <i> wo-o-wo-o-wo</i>

1518
01:38:55,664 --> 01:38:58,064
  <i> ¶ Martians are</i>
  <i> taking over the world ¶</i>