1 00:01:36,802 --> 00:01:38,864 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 2 00:05:27,633 --> 00:05:29,906 Penguin sighting! Man or myth? 3 00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:33,148 What is he? Today's edition. Another penguin sighting. 4 00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:35,795 Another penguin sighting! Check it out! 5 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:40,350 Penguin man living in Gotham's sewers! Read all about the latest sighting! 6 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,380 May I have your attention, Gotham City? 7 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:50,631 It is time for tonight's lighting of the tree. 8 00:05:55,196 --> 00:05:56,625 How about that? 9 00:06:12,325 --> 00:06:15,067 Part man, part penguin! All horrifying! 10 00:06:15,806 --> 00:06:18,395 Find out for only 50 cents! Come on! 11 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:22,749 Read about the possible terror beneath our feet! Check it out! 12 00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,437 Read about it! 13 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,031 Missing link between man and bird. 14 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,393 My dear boy... 15 00:06:30,566 --> 00:06:33,395 Sometimes it's a diversion to read such rubbish. 16 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,639 Usually, it's a waste of time. 17 00:06:35,802 --> 00:06:39,111 Whatever. Today's issue! The Penguin. Man or myth? 18 00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:42,438 The Globe! Right here! 25 cents! 19 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,642 Well, here's hoping. 20 00:07:07,815 --> 00:07:11,354 With luck, Gotham will have its first merry Christmas in years. 21 00:07:11,526 --> 00:07:13,991 I feel almost vulgar in this Yuletide context... 22 00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,484 mentioning the new power plant. 23 00:07:16,647 --> 00:07:20,273 But if we're to break ground when we must, I'll need permits... 24 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:24,003 variances, tax incentives. That sort of pesky nonsense. 25 00:07:25,413 --> 00:07:26,804 Power plant? 26 00:07:27,015 --> 00:07:31,321 Studies show we've enough power to get us into the middle of the next century. 27 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:35,761 Your analysts foresee growth at 1% per annum. That's not growth... that's a mild swelling. 28 00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:38,562 Imagine... 29 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,288 a Gotham City... 30 00:07:40,978 --> 00:07:44,249 of the future, lit up like a blanket of stars... 31 00:07:44,776 --> 00:07:46,963 but blinking on and off... 32 00:07:47,337 --> 00:07:49,447 embarrassingly low on juice. 33 00:07:49,696 --> 00:07:50,972 Frankly... 34 00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,523 I cringe, Mr. Mayor. 35 00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:57,368 Sorry, any plans must go to the usual committees... 36 00:07:57,455 --> 00:07:59,373 through the usual channels. 37 00:07:59,859 --> 00:08:01,204 I have a suggestion. 38 00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:09,845 Well... 39 00:08:10,737 --> 00:08:13,528 actually, really, just more like a question. 40 00:08:15,619 --> 00:08:18,928 I'm afraid we haven't properly housebroken Ms. Kyle. 41 00:08:19,781 --> 00:08:21,651 In the plus column, though... 42 00:08:21,786 --> 00:08:23,493 she makes a hell of a cup of coffee. 43 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:32,651 Dad. 44 00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:37,130 Mr. Mayor. Time to go down and bring joy to the masses. 45 00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:49,061 Actually, more of a question. 46 00:08:49,147 --> 00:08:50,892 You stupid corn dog. 47 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,779 Corn dog, corn dog. 48 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,663 I have enough signatures from Shreck employees to warrant a recall. 49 00:09:23,835 --> 00:09:26,262 That's not a threat, just simple numbers. 50 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:30,299 Maybe. But you sure as hell don't have an issue or a candidate. 51 00:09:31,517 --> 00:09:33,579 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 52 00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:37,588 From those of us at City Hall to each and every one of you... 53 00:09:37,674 --> 00:09:39,065 Happy holidays. 54 00:09:39,832 --> 00:09:44,148 We have with us a man who needs no introduction, he's given us so much. 55 00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:48,262 Please welcome Gotham's own Santa Claus, Max Shreck. 56 00:10:08,997 --> 00:10:11,711 Pick up those contracts for personnel and... 57 00:10:11,883 --> 00:10:14,550 pick up the dry cleaning and paper towels... 58 00:10:17,321 --> 00:10:18,194 Darn! 59 00:10:23,881 --> 00:10:25,310 I forgot my speech. 60 00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:28,043 Remind me to take it out on what's-her-name. 61 00:10:32,205 --> 00:10:33,596 Santa Claus? 62 00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,073 Afraid not. 63 00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:38,631 I'm just a poor schmo. Got lucky. 64 00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:41,431 Sue me... 65 00:10:41,969 --> 00:10:43,915 if I want to give some back. 66 00:10:46,764 --> 00:10:49,593 I only wish I could hand out more than just... 67 00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,358 expensive baubles. 68 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,155 I wish I could hand out world peace... 69 00:10:55,884 --> 00:10:58,032 and unconditional love... 70 00:10:59,529 --> 00:11:01,475 wrapped in a big bow. 71 00:11:03,048 --> 00:11:04,640 Oh, but you can. 72 00:11:05,168 --> 00:11:06,798 Oh, but you will. 73 00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:14,921 Merry Christmas. 74 00:11:27,849 --> 00:11:29,201 Great idea. 75 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:30,870 Not mine. 76 00:12:21,344 --> 00:12:23,608 What are you waiting for? The signal! 77 00:12:53,664 --> 00:12:56,695 We want the big guy! The guy who runs the show! 78 00:12:59,342 --> 00:13:00,454 What do you want? 79 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:01,768 Not you! 80 00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:03,581 Shreck! 81 00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,901 You'll have to go through me. 82 00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:09,575 Dad, go! Save yourself! 83 00:13:09,824 --> 00:13:10,773 Dad, go! 84 00:15:00,401 --> 00:15:01,629 Shut up! 85 00:15:09,445 --> 00:15:12,006 Take one step closer, Mr. Manbat, and I'll... 86 00:15:17,693 --> 00:15:18,796 You missed. 87 00:15:31,455 --> 00:15:32,798 The Batman. 88 00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:35,445 Or is it just Batman? 89 00:15:39,569 --> 00:15:41,199 Your choice, of course. 90 00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:44,843 Well, that was... 91 00:15:45,169 --> 00:15:46,445 very brief. 92 00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:49,005 Just like all the men in my life. 93 00:15:49,811 --> 00:15:51,087 What men? 94 00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:52,832 Well... 95 00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:56,966 then again, there's you, but you need therapy. 96 00:16:17,815 --> 00:16:21,488 Thanks for saving the day, Batman. The Circus Gang is back. 97 00:16:21,661 --> 00:16:22,773 We'll see. 98 00:16:22,936 --> 00:16:26,207 They almost made off with our mover and shaker, Max Shreck. 99 00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:28,930 Where is that insufferable son of a bitch? 100 00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:45,941 I believe the word you're looking for is... 101 00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:59,301 Actually, this is all just a bad dream. 102 00:18:00,394 --> 00:18:02,149 You're at home in bed... 103 00:18:02,312 --> 00:18:05,103 heavily sedated, resting comfortably... 104 00:18:05,678 --> 00:18:09,265 dying from the carcinogens you've personally spewed... 105 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,699 in a lifetime of profiteering. 106 00:18:13,034 --> 00:18:14,387 Tragic irony... 107 00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,305 or poetic justice? 108 00:18:16,477 --> 00:18:17,868 You tell me. 109 00:18:19,038 --> 00:18:20,707 My God, it's true. 110 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,104 Penguin Man of the sewer. 111 00:18:27,199 --> 00:18:29,232 Odd as it may seem, Max... 112 00:18:30,163 --> 00:18:32,791 You and I have something in common. 113 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,260 We're both perceived as monsters. 114 00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:42,908 But somehow... 115 00:18:44,241 --> 00:18:46,802 you're a well-respected monster... 116 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:49,037 and I am, to date... 117 00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:51,195 not! 118 00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:54,753 Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap. I'm a businessman. 119 00:18:55,127 --> 00:18:56,431 Tough, yes. 120 00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,874 Shrewd, okay. But that does not make me a monster. 121 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,837 Don't embarrass yourself, Max! 122 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,918 I know all about you. 123 00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:07,239 What you hide, I discover. 124 00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:10,318 What you put in your toilet... 125 00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:13,233 I place on my mantle. Get the picture? 126 00:19:13,885 --> 00:19:16,072 Is that supposed to hypnotize me? 127 00:19:16,283 --> 00:19:18,748 No, just give you a splitting headache. 128 00:19:19,611 --> 00:19:20,954 It's not working. 129 00:19:22,047 --> 00:19:23,677 Oh, you big baby! 130 00:19:24,253 --> 00:19:25,519 Just blanks. 131 00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:28,722 Would I go through all this trouble just to kill you? 132 00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:30,151 No, Max. 133 00:19:30,525 --> 00:19:32,913 I have an entirely other purpose. 134 00:19:34,054 --> 00:19:35,560 I'm ready, Max. 135 00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,283 I've been down here too long. 136 00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:40,844 It's time for me to ascend... 137 00:19:41,535 --> 00:19:43,165 to re-emerge... 138 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,243 with your help... 139 00:19:46,368 --> 00:19:47,922 your know-how... 140 00:19:48,094 --> 00:19:49,562 your savvy. 141 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,928 I wasn't born in the sewer, you know. 142 00:19:54,012 --> 00:19:55,479 I come from... 143 00:19:56,131 --> 00:19:57,407 like you. 144 00:19:57,694 --> 00:20:00,150 And, like you, I want some respect! 145 00:20:00,898 --> 00:20:03,353 A recognition of my basic humanity. 146 00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,520 But most of all... 147 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,762 I want to find out who I am... 148 00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:10,843 by finding my parents... 149 00:20:11,015 --> 00:20:13,049 learning my human name. 150 00:20:13,893 --> 00:20:17,681 Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted! 151 00:20:19,139 --> 00:20:20,251 And... 152 00:20:20,414 --> 00:20:23,051 exactly why am I going to help you? 153 00:20:24,778 --> 00:20:25,890 Well... 154 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:31,769 Let's start. 155 00:20:39,624 --> 00:20:41,887 Let's see what we have in here. 156 00:20:45,905 --> 00:20:47,891 A batch of toxic waste... 157 00:20:49,061 --> 00:20:51,439 from your clean textile plant! 158 00:20:52,302 --> 00:20:55,409 There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back! 159 00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,692 It could have come from anywhere. 160 00:20:58,104 --> 00:21:02,410 What about the documents that prove you own half of the firetraps in Gotham City? 161 00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:04,731 If there were such documents... 162 00:21:04,904 --> 00:21:06,611 that's not an admission... 163 00:21:06,707 --> 00:21:08,654 they would've been shredded. 164 00:21:09,507 --> 00:21:10,812 Good idea. 165 00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:15,895 A lot of tape and a little patience make all the difference. 166 00:21:18,628 --> 00:21:20,057 By the way... 167 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,848 how's Fred Atkins, your old partner? 168 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:24,219 Fred? 169 00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:26,856 Fred's actually... 170 00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:30,414 I believe he's on an extended vacation. He's good. 171 00:21:33,829 --> 00:21:34,941 Good. 172 00:21:36,869 --> 00:21:39,621 Hiya, Max. Remember me? I'm Fred's hand! 173 00:21:40,868 --> 00:21:43,333 Want to greet any other body parts? 174 00:21:43,668 --> 00:21:45,260 Remember, Max... 175 00:21:45,510 --> 00:21:47,696 You flush it, I flaunt it. 176 00:21:49,269 --> 00:21:51,571 You know what, Mr. Penguin, sir? 177 00:21:56,711 --> 00:21:58,227 I think, perhaps... 178 00:21:58,390 --> 00:22:01,660 I could help orchestrate a "Welcome Home" scenario for you. 179 00:22:01,756 --> 00:22:05,065 Once we're both back home, perhaps we could help each other. 180 00:22:06,235 --> 00:22:08,661 You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck. 181 00:22:16,237 --> 00:22:17,829 Honey, I'm home! 182 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,184 Oh, I forgot. I'm not married. 183 00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:33,673 Miss Kitty. 184 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:38,430 Back from more sexual escapades you refuse to share? 185 00:22:40,722 --> 00:22:42,467 Not that I'd ever pry. 186 00:22:44,318 --> 00:22:45,670 Drink your dinner. 187 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,113 What? 188 00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:56,795 How can anyone be so pathetic? 189 00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,197 Yes, to you I seem pathetic, but I'm a working girl. 190 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,033 Must pay the rent. Maybe if you chipped in instead of stepping out. 191 00:23:06,808 --> 00:23:10,155 Selina, dear, it's your mother. Just calling to say hello. 192 00:23:10,327 --> 00:23:11,593 Yeah, but... 193 00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:14,960 But I'm disappointed you're not coming home for Christmas. 194 00:23:15,046 --> 00:23:18,393 I want to discuss why you insist on languishing in Gotham City... 195 00:23:18,489 --> 00:23:20,397 as some lowly secretary. 196 00:23:20,570 --> 00:23:22,152 Lowly assistant. 197 00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:27,034 Selina, about that Christmas getaway we planned... 198 00:23:28,089 --> 00:23:32,721 I'll be going alone. Dr. Shaw says I need to be my own person, not an appendage. 199 00:23:36,970 --> 00:23:38,475 Some appendage! 200 00:23:43,769 --> 00:23:47,356 The party never stops on Selina Kyle's answering machine. 201 00:23:49,370 --> 00:23:52,324 I should've let him win that last racquetball game. 202 00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:53,599 Hello... 203 00:23:53,772 --> 00:23:55,201 Selina Kyle. 204 00:23:55,374 --> 00:23:58,644 We're calling to tell you about exciting, new Gotham Lady perfume. 205 00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:03,123 It makes women feel like women and the men have no complaints either. 206 00:24:05,376 --> 00:24:09,759 This is yourself reminding you to come all the way back to the office... 207 00:24:11,092 --> 00:24:14,564 - if you forgot the Bruce Wayne file... - You stupid corn dog! 208 00:24:33,419 --> 00:24:34,809 Working late? 209 00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:41,005 I'm just boning up for your Bruce Wayne meeting in the morning. 210 00:24:41,695 --> 00:24:45,052 I pulled all the files on the proposed power plant... 211 00:24:47,459 --> 00:24:51,535 and Mr. Wayne's hoped-for investment. I even opened the protected files... 212 00:24:52,743 --> 00:24:54,048 How industrious! 213 00:24:55,659 --> 00:24:57,893 How did you open the protected files? 214 00:24:58,862 --> 00:24:59,975 May I ask? 215 00:25:05,384 --> 00:25:09,450 I figured your password was "Geraldo", your Chihuahua, and it was. 216 00:25:16,902 --> 00:25:21,016 This is all very interesting, though a bit on the technical side... 217 00:25:23,183 --> 00:25:26,655 about how the power plant is a power plant in name only... 218 00:25:26,991 --> 00:25:30,175 since, in fact, it's going to be a big, giant... 219 00:25:30,702 --> 00:25:32,735 big, giant... capacitor. 220 00:25:35,306 --> 00:25:39,142 And, instead of generating power, it'll be sucking power from... 221 00:25:39,986 --> 00:25:41,376 Gotham City... 222 00:25:42,508 --> 00:25:43,975 and storing it... 223 00:25:44,589 --> 00:25:46,181 stockpiling it... 224 00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:49,384 which is a very novel approach, I'd say. 225 00:25:52,146 --> 00:25:53,700 Who'd you say this to? 226 00:25:57,229 --> 00:25:58,179 Nobody. 227 00:26:04,269 --> 00:26:06,657 What did curiosity do to the cat? 228 00:26:08,795 --> 00:26:10,148 I'm no cat. 229 00:26:11,030 --> 00:26:12,785 I'm just an assistant. 230 00:26:13,236 --> 00:26:14,348 A secretary. 231 00:26:14,876 --> 00:26:16,621 And a very good one. 232 00:26:17,436 --> 00:26:18,654 Too good? 233 00:26:19,834 --> 00:26:20,860 Listen... 234 00:26:20,956 --> 00:26:23,027 It's our secret. Honest. 235 00:26:23,315 --> 00:26:26,029 How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless? 236 00:26:26,192 --> 00:26:27,621 This power plant... 237 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,709 is my legacy, it's what I leave behind... 238 00:26:30,872 --> 00:26:32,100 for Chip. 239 00:26:32,436 --> 00:26:34,469 Nothing must prevent that. 240 00:26:37,873 --> 00:26:41,662 Go ahead. Intimidate me. Bully me, if it makes you feel big. 241 00:26:42,074 --> 00:26:43,992 It's not like you can kill me! 242 00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:46,668 Actually, it's a lot like that. 243 00:27:03,844 --> 00:27:06,472 For a second, you really frightened me. 244 00:27:16,724 --> 00:27:17,837 Really? 245 00:28:30,455 --> 00:28:31,721 Honey, I'm home! 246 00:28:34,857 --> 00:28:36,842 Oh, I forgot. I'm not married. 247 00:29:11,339 --> 00:29:13,977 Selina, this is your mother. Call me. 248 00:29:15,185 --> 00:29:18,935 Selina, this is your mother. Why haven't you called me back? 249 00:29:19,539 --> 00:29:21,256 Hello, Selina Kyle. 250 00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:25,370 We're just calling to make sure you've tried Gotham Lady perfume. 251 00:29:25,466 --> 00:29:29,532 One whiff of this and your boss will ask you to stay after work... 252 00:29:29,743 --> 00:29:32,333 for a candlelight staff meeting for two. 253 00:29:32,505 --> 00:29:36,332 Gotham Lady perfume. Exclusively at Shreck's department store. 254 00:32:13,969 --> 00:32:17,125 I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel... 255 00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:19,599 so much yummier. 256 00:32:37,495 --> 00:32:39,010 Ladies and gentlemen, 257 00:32:40,775 --> 00:32:45,483 I stand before you again to denounce the urban chaos we live with in our city. 258 00:32:46,692 --> 00:32:48,044 It's got to stop. 259 00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:51,123 It's going to stop! Our community is coming apart... 260 00:32:51,382 --> 00:32:54,527 in a season when it should be coming together. 261 00:32:54,613 --> 00:32:58,047 I don't care what the cynics may say. This is the Christmas season... 262 00:32:58,143 --> 00:32:59,725 and should be a healing time. 263 00:32:59,821 --> 00:33:02,276 I say that not only as an official... 264 00:33:03,101 --> 00:33:05,173 but as a husband and a father. 265 00:33:05,575 --> 00:33:07,963 Last night's violence won't happen again. 266 00:33:11,176 --> 00:33:14,130 I'm not good at speeches, so I'll just say, thanks. 267 00:33:22,541 --> 00:33:24,737 It's the hideous Penguin Man. 268 00:33:25,264 --> 00:33:27,777 Take the baby. Just don't hurt me, please! 269 00:34:18,549 --> 00:34:22,462 This was the remarkable scene only minutes ago in Gotham Plaza. 270 00:34:22,634 --> 00:34:25,981 The mysterious Penguin saving the life of the mayor's baby... 271 00:34:26,154 --> 00:34:29,741 - and announcing his presence. - All I want in return... 272 00:34:30,594 --> 00:34:32,148 is a chance... 273 00:34:32,474 --> 00:34:34,507 to find my mom and dad. 274 00:34:36,195 --> 00:34:38,708 A chance to find out who they are... 275 00:34:39,878 --> 00:34:41,268 and thusly... 276 00:34:41,595 --> 00:34:42,985 who I am. 277 00:34:43,714 --> 00:34:44,990 And then... 278 00:34:45,277 --> 00:34:47,061 with my parents... 279 00:34:47,358 --> 00:34:49,430 try to understand why... 280 00:34:50,916 --> 00:34:54,263 Why they did what I guess they felt they had to do... 281 00:34:56,354 --> 00:34:57,946 to a child... 282 00:34:58,598 --> 00:35:00,152 who was born... 283 00:35:03,077 --> 00:35:04,909 a little different. 284 00:35:06,721 --> 00:35:07,776 A child... 285 00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:10,749 who spent his first Christmas... 286 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,435 and many since... 287 00:35:14,921 --> 00:35:16,187 in a sewer. 288 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,508 Mr. Wayne? Something wrong? 289 00:35:21,961 --> 00:35:23,073 His parents. 290 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:25,471 This scene, direct from Gotham Plaza. 291 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:28,511 I hope he finds them. 292 00:35:29,479 --> 00:35:33,268 Here he is, standing alongside Gotham's leading citizen, Max Shreck. 293 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,193 How about a statement? People want to know. 294 00:35:46,608 --> 00:35:49,638 - Penguin's not to be disturbed! - It's a public place! 295 00:35:49,763 --> 00:35:52,199 - Walk. Now. Move. - Freedom of the press! 296 00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:53,753 Wait a minute. 297 00:35:54,846 --> 00:35:58,040 What about the freedom to rediscover your roots... 298 00:35:58,529 --> 00:36:00,437 with dignity and privacy? 299 00:36:00,610 --> 00:36:02,835 Is the Penguin a personal friend? 300 00:36:03,007 --> 00:36:06,518 He's a personal friend of the whole city, so have a heart. 301 00:36:06,767 --> 00:36:09,443 Give the Constitution a rest. It's Christmas. 302 00:36:47,334 --> 00:36:51,007 Red Triangle Circus put on a swell show with fierce lions. 303 00:36:55,055 --> 00:36:57,328 Circus returns for a two-week... 304 00:36:57,577 --> 00:36:59,006 Kids will love... 305 00:36:59,495 --> 00:37:00,531 Thanks. 306 00:37:04,655 --> 00:37:05,642 It's cold! 307 00:37:05,738 --> 00:37:07,091 It's vichyssoise. 308 00:37:08,222 --> 00:37:09,891 It's supposed to be cold. 309 00:37:12,337 --> 00:37:15,492 Circus is back with a freak show, may not be suitable for kids... 310 00:37:15,578 --> 00:37:17,573 featuring a poodle lady... 311 00:37:17,822 --> 00:37:19,731 the world's fattest man... 312 00:37:19,980 --> 00:37:22,013 and Aquatic Bird Boy. 313 00:37:23,097 --> 00:37:25,533 Why are you determined to prove... 314 00:37:25,782 --> 00:37:28,535 that this Penguin is not what he seems? 315 00:37:28,938 --> 00:37:31,891 Must you be the only lonely "man-beast" in town? 316 00:37:32,141 --> 00:37:34,136 The circus folded its tents yesterday... 317 00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:37,291 after reports of missing children in several towns. 318 00:37:37,502 --> 00:37:40,369 Police have closed down the Red Triangle fairgrounds. 319 00:37:40,465 --> 00:37:44,004 However, at least one freak-show performer vanished before... 320 00:37:44,464 --> 00:37:46,536 he could be questioned. 321 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:50,132 I suppose you feel better now. 322 00:37:52,866 --> 00:37:53,815 No. 323 00:37:55,062 --> 00:37:56,980 Actually, I feel worse. 324 00:38:14,751 --> 00:38:16,180 Why're you still out? 325 00:38:16,266 --> 00:38:20,016 Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person? 326 00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,939 I think he knows who his parents are. 327 00:38:25,713 --> 00:38:27,420 There's something else. 328 00:40:18,928 --> 00:40:20,117 Mr. Penguin... 329 00:40:20,213 --> 00:40:22,716 A penguin is a bird that cannot fly! 330 00:40:24,365 --> 00:40:25,718 I am a man! 331 00:40:26,849 --> 00:40:28,317 I have a name! 332 00:40:32,134 --> 00:40:33,764 Oswald Cobblepot! 333 00:40:35,567 --> 00:40:38,319 You'll never be able to settle with them? 334 00:40:41,657 --> 00:40:42,760 True. 335 00:40:43,815 --> 00:40:45,963 I was their number one son... 336 00:40:46,289 --> 00:40:48,754 and they treated me like number two. 337 00:40:49,655 --> 00:40:51,957 But it's human nature to fear... 338 00:40:53,415 --> 00:40:54,767 the unusual. 339 00:40:55,736 --> 00:40:57,049 Perhaps... 340 00:40:57,491 --> 00:40:58,968 when I held my... 341 00:40:59,092 --> 00:41:01,010 Tiffany baby rattle... 342 00:41:01,979 --> 00:41:03,964 with a shiny flipper... 343 00:41:04,377 --> 00:41:06,841 instead of five chubby digits... 344 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:09,891 they freaked. 345 00:41:13,497 --> 00:41:15,204 But I forgive them. 346 00:41:16,854 --> 00:41:19,731 Penguin forgives parents! I'm at peace with myself and the world! 347 00:41:19,817 --> 00:41:22,282 Don't need hands as long as you got heart. 348 00:41:22,416 --> 00:41:25,485 My heart is filled with love. I feel five feet tall. 349 00:41:25,581 --> 00:41:29,360 - He's like a frog that became a prince. - No, he's more like a penguin. 350 00:41:34,778 --> 00:41:37,013 Now, now, pretty little thing. 351 00:41:37,425 --> 00:41:38,892 Nice and easy. 352 00:41:43,026 --> 00:41:47,572 I love a big, strong man who's not afraid to show it with someone half his size. 353 00:41:49,941 --> 00:41:52,175 Be gentle, it's my first time. 354 00:41:59,109 --> 00:42:00,500 Tic-tac-toe. 355 00:42:05,746 --> 00:42:07,894 You make it so easy, don't you? 356 00:42:08,383 --> 00:42:11,020 Always waiting for some Batman to save you. 357 00:42:13,792 --> 00:42:15,374 I am Catwoman. 358 00:42:16,468 --> 00:42:18,060 Hear me roar. 359 00:42:31,831 --> 00:42:35,744 I'd offer you coffee, but my assistant is using her vacation time. 360 00:42:35,869 --> 00:42:40,463 Good time. Everyone but the bandits'll be slacking off till after the New Year. 361 00:42:41,029 --> 00:42:43,100 I'm not sure I like the inference. 362 00:42:43,196 --> 00:42:45,018 I didn't realize I made one. 363 00:42:49,593 --> 00:42:53,506 I'm pushing this power plant now because it'll cost more later. 364 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:56,220 A million saved is a million earned. 365 00:42:56,997 --> 00:42:59,663 I commissioned this report. Take a look at it. 366 00:43:01,993 --> 00:43:05,503 Gotham City has a power surplus. I'm sure you know that. 367 00:43:06,079 --> 00:43:07,585 My question is... 368 00:43:08,476 --> 00:43:09,589 What's your angle? 369 00:43:09,675 --> 00:43:12,188 Power surplus? Bruce, shame on you! 370 00:43:13,041 --> 00:43:16,187 No such thing. One can never have too much power. 371 00:43:16,475 --> 00:43:19,429 If my life has a meaning, that's the meaning. 372 00:43:21,241 --> 00:43:25,145 I'll fight you. I've already spoken to the mayor and we agree. 373 00:43:25,317 --> 00:43:26,746 Mayors come and go. 374 00:43:26,957 --> 00:43:28,751 Blue bloods tire easily. 375 00:43:29,038 --> 00:43:31,417 Can you go 15 rounds with Muhammad Shreck? 376 00:43:31,637 --> 00:43:33,546 I guess we'll find out. 377 00:43:33,843 --> 00:43:36,749 Of course, I don't have a crime boss like Cobblepot in my corner. 378 00:43:36,845 --> 00:43:39,108 Crime boss? Shows what you know... 379 00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:41,947 Mr. To-The-Manor-Born-With-A-Silver-Spoon. 380 00:43:42,043 --> 00:43:44,229 Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy. 381 00:43:44,479 --> 00:43:47,989 If his parents hadn't 86'ed him, you'd have been bunkies at prep school. 382 00:43:48,085 --> 00:43:51,950 He controls the Red Triangle Gang. I can't prove it yet, but we both... 383 00:43:52,122 --> 00:43:54,683 I'll not stand for mud-slinging here. 384 00:43:54,846 --> 00:43:58,078 If my assistant was here, she'd have already escorted you out... 385 00:43:58,164 --> 00:43:59,632 Anywhere he wants. 386 00:43:59,881 --> 00:44:02,346 Preferably some nightspot grotto... 387 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:04,600 or... 388 00:44:05,041 --> 00:44:06,796 secluded hideaway. 389 00:44:08,723 --> 00:44:10,037 Nice suit. 390 00:44:16,089 --> 00:44:20,117 That's my name, don't wear it out or I'll make you buy me a new one. 391 00:44:24,250 --> 00:44:25,842 This is Bruce... 392 00:44:26,207 --> 00:44:27,242 Wayne. 393 00:44:28,010 --> 00:44:29,065 We've met. 394 00:44:29,573 --> 00:44:30,522 Have we? 395 00:44:30,685 --> 00:44:33,716 No, I'm sorry. I mistook me for somebody else. 396 00:44:35,174 --> 00:44:36,804 You mean, mistook me. 397 00:44:37,533 --> 00:44:39,441 Isn't that what I said? 398 00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:41,638 No, I don't think so. 399 00:44:42,971 --> 00:44:44,160 What happened? 400 00:44:45,368 --> 00:44:48,198 Did you injure yourself on that ski slope? 401 00:44:49,694 --> 00:44:52,887 Is that why you cut short your vacation? Came back? 402 00:44:56,052 --> 00:44:57,443 It's a blur. 403 00:44:58,852 --> 00:45:03,245 Not complete amnesia. I remember Sister Mary Margaret puking in church... 404 00:45:04,137 --> 00:45:06,515 and Betsy saying it was morning sickness. 405 00:45:06,611 --> 00:45:09,642 And I remember the time I forgot to wear my underpants to school... 406 00:45:09,738 --> 00:45:13,411 and the name of the boy who noticed was Ricky Friedburg. 407 00:45:14,379 --> 00:45:15,847 He's dead now. 408 00:45:16,221 --> 00:45:17,650 But last night... 409 00:45:17,861 --> 00:45:19,491 complete blur. 410 00:45:21,217 --> 00:45:23,049 Couldn't you just die? 411 00:45:27,019 --> 00:45:28,285 Please... 412 00:45:29,417 --> 00:45:30,971 show out Mr. Wayne. 413 00:45:31,297 --> 00:45:32,611 With pleasure. 414 00:45:35,018 --> 00:45:36,811 Your coat, Mr. Wayne. 415 00:45:50,142 --> 00:45:53,249 You don't seem like the type who does business with Mr. Shreck. 416 00:45:53,345 --> 00:45:55,973 No. You don't seem like the type to take orders from him. 417 00:45:56,059 --> 00:45:57,411 Well, that's a... 418 00:45:57,661 --> 00:45:59,138 long story. 419 00:45:59,905 --> 00:46:01,938 I could free up some time. 420 00:46:03,664 --> 00:46:05,573 - I'm listed. - I'm tempted. 421 00:46:05,822 --> 00:46:06,964 I'm working. 422 00:46:08,229 --> 00:46:09,419 I'm leaving. 423 00:46:09,908 --> 00:46:11,816 You buy that blurry business? 424 00:46:11,989 --> 00:46:13,015 Women. 425 00:46:13,427 --> 00:46:15,211 Nothing surprises me... 426 00:46:15,748 --> 00:46:17,494 except your late mother. 427 00:46:18,069 --> 00:46:20,774 Who'd have thought Selina had a brain to damage? 428 00:46:20,946 --> 00:46:22,337 Bottom line? 429 00:46:22,711 --> 00:46:26,538 She tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out of a higher window. 430 00:46:26,710 --> 00:46:27,823 Meantime... 431 00:46:27,909 --> 00:46:30,182 I've got badder fish to fry. 432 00:46:41,268 --> 00:46:42,544 Oswald... 433 00:46:43,110 --> 00:46:44,385 It's Max. 434 00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:58,541 You're home? 435 00:47:05,676 --> 00:47:06,942 How've you been? 436 00:47:08,553 --> 00:47:10,347 Your extended family? 437 00:47:10,797 --> 00:47:12,341 Good to have a family. 438 00:47:14,077 --> 00:47:16,149 I'd rather not be disturbed now. 439 00:47:16,475 --> 00:47:19,266 Come on downstairs, Oswald. I have a surprise. 440 00:47:19,438 --> 00:47:21,347 I don't like surprises. 441 00:47:37,679 --> 00:47:38,629 Come on. 442 00:47:51,125 --> 00:47:52,314 Don't peek. 443 00:47:54,405 --> 00:47:55,748 You'll spoil it. 444 00:48:18,170 --> 00:48:22,200 Adulation is a cross to bear. God knows I know. 445 00:48:22,323 --> 00:48:25,871 But someone's got to supplant our standing in the way of progress Mayor. 446 00:48:25,967 --> 00:48:29,362 And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot, you've got the magic. 447 00:48:29,525 --> 00:48:32,882 Your charisma's bigger than both of us. Come on down. 448 00:48:34,972 --> 00:48:36,104 Mayor? 449 00:48:37,207 --> 00:48:38,348 Mayor. 450 00:48:40,333 --> 00:48:43,364 Elections happen in November. It's late December. 451 00:48:43,527 --> 00:48:44,802 Don't worry. 452 00:48:44,966 --> 00:48:48,399 I want you to meet Jen and Josh, my image consultants. 453 00:48:49,933 --> 00:48:51,036 Here. 454 00:48:51,209 --> 00:48:53,117 Reclaim your birthright. 455 00:48:55,649 --> 00:48:56,867 I'm Jen. 456 00:49:00,291 --> 00:49:04,607 Okay, let's see. What I'd like to do first is put these gloves on you. 457 00:49:04,933 --> 00:49:07,800 Our research tells us that voters like fingers. 458 00:49:07,973 --> 00:49:10,438 So if we were to just lose this... 459 00:49:11,972 --> 00:49:13,842 We'll do it another time. 460 00:49:15,492 --> 00:49:18,762 Not a lot of reflective surfaces down in the sewer, huh? 461 00:49:29,734 --> 00:49:31,565 Still, it could be worse. 462 00:49:32,294 --> 00:49:34,567 My nose could be gushing blood. 463 00:49:38,183 --> 00:49:40,168 What do you mean by that? 464 00:49:44,944 --> 00:49:46,891 Everybody, back to work! 465 00:49:47,658 --> 00:49:51,091 Let's make a mayor! 466 00:49:56,462 --> 00:49:59,330 You're right, we missed the regular election... 467 00:49:59,502 --> 00:50:02,130 but elected officials can be recalled, impeached... 468 00:50:02,226 --> 00:50:04,787 Given the boot. Look at Nixon, Agnew. 469 00:50:04,940 --> 00:50:06,417 Then think of you... 470 00:50:06,542 --> 00:50:09,169 Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void. 471 00:50:09,908 --> 00:50:11,615 I'd like to fill her void. 472 00:50:14,060 --> 00:50:18,136 We'll need signatures to overturn the ballot. I can supply those. 473 00:50:18,702 --> 00:50:22,452 - Teach her my French flipper trick. - We need one more thing. 474 00:50:24,744 --> 00:50:26,096 A platform? 475 00:50:27,506 --> 00:50:31,736 Stop global warming. Start global cooling. Make the world a giant icebox. 476 00:50:32,148 --> 00:50:36,262 I like it. But to get the mayor recalled, we must have a catalyst. 477 00:50:36,790 --> 00:50:39,015 You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot. 478 00:50:39,628 --> 00:50:42,295 Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot. 479 00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:45,622 I need you, Oswald. I need you now! 480 00:50:47,473 --> 00:50:50,341 That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen. 481 00:50:51,789 --> 00:50:55,865 Soon an incident like the Gulf of Tonkin, or the Reichstag fire... 482 00:51:03,029 --> 00:51:05,417 You want my old friends up there... 483 00:51:05,590 --> 00:51:08,150 to drive the mayor into a foaming frenzy? 484 00:51:08,313 --> 00:51:10,107 - Exactly. - Sounds fun. 485 00:51:10,874 --> 00:51:11,900 But... 486 00:51:12,715 --> 00:51:15,228 I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie. 487 00:51:15,679 --> 00:51:17,741 I have my own things to tend to. 488 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,423 Sidetracked, Oswald? This is your chance to fulfill your destiny... 489 00:51:21,596 --> 00:51:24,051 that your parents carelessly discarded. 490 00:51:27,839 --> 00:51:29,825 Reclaim my birthright, you mean? 491 00:51:29,997 --> 00:51:32,865 Imagine, as mayor, you have the ear of the media... 492 00:51:33,114 --> 00:51:35,867 access to the captains of industry... 493 00:51:36,394 --> 00:51:38,226 unlimited poontang. 494 00:51:41,678 --> 00:51:43,980 You drive a hard bargain, Maxie. 495 00:51:45,275 --> 00:51:47,030 All right, I'll be mayor. 496 00:51:50,876 --> 00:51:52,506 Burn, baby, burn! 497 00:54:28,149 --> 00:54:30,134 - Who is she? - What is she? 498 00:54:30,546 --> 00:54:33,376 I don't know whether to open fire or fall in love. 499 00:54:34,066 --> 00:54:35,495 You poor guys. 500 00:54:35,668 --> 00:54:38,813 Always confusing your pistols with your privates. 501 00:54:41,067 --> 00:54:43,695 Don't hurt us. Our take-home's less than $300. 502 00:54:43,791 --> 00:54:45,738 You're overpaid. Hit the road. 503 00:55:03,355 --> 00:55:05,101 Go ahead and hit me. 504 00:55:41,918 --> 00:55:43,549 Admiring your handiwork? 505 00:55:45,716 --> 00:55:47,624 Touring the riot scene. 506 00:55:49,082 --> 00:55:51,509 Gravely assessing the devastation. 507 00:55:53,599 --> 00:55:55,508 Upstanding-Mayor stuff. 508 00:55:59,555 --> 00:56:01,070 You're not the mayor. 509 00:56:02,883 --> 00:56:04,350 Things change. 510 00:56:06,278 --> 00:56:07,630 What do you want? 511 00:56:08,484 --> 00:56:10,229 The direct approach. 512 00:56:10,565 --> 00:56:13,020 I admire that in a man with a mask. 513 00:56:17,882 --> 00:56:20,472 You don't really think you'll win, do you? 514 00:56:23,205 --> 00:56:24,672 Things change. 515 00:56:48,811 --> 00:56:50,998 I saw her first. Got to fly. 516 00:57:38,499 --> 00:57:40,647 How could you? I'm a woman! 517 00:57:41,376 --> 00:57:42,566 I'm sorry. 518 00:57:56,021 --> 00:57:59,771 As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. 519 00:58:01,382 --> 00:58:03,530 Life's a bitch, now so am I. 520 00:58:19,863 --> 00:58:20,975 Who are you? 521 00:58:21,618 --> 00:58:23,497 Who's the man behind the bat? 522 00:58:25,463 --> 00:58:27,449 Maybe you can help me find... 523 00:58:27,947 --> 00:58:29,290 the woman... 524 00:58:29,942 --> 00:58:31,457 behind the cat. 525 00:58:32,104 --> 00:58:35,811 No, that's not you. 526 00:58:39,302 --> 00:58:40,578 There you are. 527 00:58:55,951 --> 00:58:57,774 Saved by Kitty Litter. 528 00:59:01,629 --> 00:59:02,847 Bastard! 529 00:59:19,467 --> 00:59:20,503 Alfred... 530 00:59:21,232 --> 00:59:23,696 Bring me some antiseptic ointment. 531 00:59:23,869 --> 00:59:25,941 Coming. Are you in pain, sir? 532 00:59:28,674 --> 00:59:29,940 Not really. 533 00:59:51,394 --> 00:59:53,906 I may have saved the mayor's baby... 534 00:59:55,479 --> 00:59:57,857 but I refuse to save a mayor... 535 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,667 who stood by, helpless as a baby... 536 01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,909 while Gotham was ravaged by a disease... 537 01:00:04,954 --> 01:00:08,110 that turned Eagle Scouts into crazed clowns... 538 01:00:09,558 --> 01:00:12,186 and happy homemakers into catwomen. 539 01:00:13,317 --> 01:00:14,382 Thank you. 540 01:00:17,441 --> 01:00:21,594 Oswald Cobblepot, the mystery man-beast, made his bid to run Gotham. 541 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:28,796 Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest role model a young person could have. 542 01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,779 And you're the hottest young person... 543 01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:34,032 a role model could have. 544 01:00:36,440 --> 01:00:37,427 Here. 545 01:00:38,406 --> 01:00:39,873 Wear a button. 546 01:00:41,283 --> 01:00:43,354 Let me just get it on here. 547 01:00:47,804 --> 01:00:49,080 Thank you. 548 01:00:53,731 --> 01:00:58,037 This mayor stuff is not about power, it's about reaching out to people... 549 01:00:58,210 --> 01:01:00,195 touching people, groping people. 550 01:01:00,291 --> 01:01:02,123 - Penguin... - My name is not Penguin! 551 01:01:02,209 --> 01:01:04,041 It's Oswald Cobblepot. 552 01:01:04,645 --> 01:01:07,398 Oswald, there's somebody here to see you. 553 01:01:15,367 --> 01:01:17,928 Just the pussy I've been looking for. 554 01:01:22,531 --> 01:01:24,286 It's chilly in here. 555 01:01:25,408 --> 01:01:26,684 I'll warm you. 556 01:01:27,048 --> 01:01:28,487 Down, Oswald. 557 01:01:30,731 --> 01:01:32,122 We need to talk. 558 01:01:32,294 --> 01:01:33,599 You see... 559 01:01:33,771 --> 01:01:36,399 you and I have something in common. 560 01:01:36,658 --> 01:01:38,240 Sounds familiar. 561 01:01:38,729 --> 01:01:40,724 Appetite for destruction? 562 01:01:40,935 --> 01:01:43,160 Contempt for the czars of fashion? 563 01:01:43,496 --> 01:01:45,241 Wait, don't tell me. 564 01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:47,284 Naked sexual charisma? 565 01:01:48,780 --> 01:01:49,969 Batman. 566 01:01:51,053 --> 01:01:53,211 The thorn in both our sides. 567 01:01:53,892 --> 01:01:55,848 The fly in our ointment. 568 01:01:56,452 --> 01:01:57,728 Ointment? 569 01:01:58,217 --> 01:02:00,490 I've got scented and unscented. 570 01:02:00,979 --> 01:02:02,686 I'll come back later. 571 01:02:03,175 --> 01:02:06,877 Perchance, are you a registered voter? I'm a mayoral prospect. 572 01:02:07,059 --> 01:02:09,332 I have but one pet cause today. 573 01:02:10,263 --> 01:02:11,653 Ban the Bat. 574 01:02:12,142 --> 01:02:16,046 Oh, him again. No bother. He's already history. Check it out. 575 01:02:16,736 --> 01:02:20,975 We'll disassemble his Batmobile and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels. 576 01:02:24,341 --> 01:02:26,720 He'd have even more power as a martyr. 577 01:02:26,979 --> 01:02:31,256 To destroy Batman, we must first turn him into what he hates the most. 578 01:02:31,860 --> 01:02:33,212 Namely, us. 579 01:02:35,063 --> 01:02:36,329 Frame him? 580 01:02:36,502 --> 01:02:39,533 Not even in office yet and already an enemies list. 581 01:02:41,307 --> 01:02:43,810 Those names are not for prying eyes. 582 01:02:45,622 --> 01:02:48,298 Why should I trust some catbroad anyway? 583 01:02:49,468 --> 01:02:53,458 Maybe you're a screwed-up sorority chick getting back at her daddy... 584 01:02:53,630 --> 01:02:57,016 for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet-sixteen. 585 01:03:13,550 --> 01:03:14,940 Nice birdie. 586 01:03:29,710 --> 01:03:31,062 Nice kitty. 587 01:03:31,551 --> 01:03:32,903 Nice kitty. 588 01:03:39,473 --> 01:03:41,381 Batman napalmed my arm. 589 01:03:41,957 --> 01:03:45,946 He knocked me off a building just when I started to feel good about myself. 590 01:03:46,032 --> 01:03:49,063 I want to play an integral part in his degradation. 591 01:03:53,072 --> 01:03:54,750 A plan is forming. 592 01:04:02,442 --> 01:04:03,746 I want in. 593 01:04:05,961 --> 01:04:09,069 The thought of busting Batman makes me feel all... 594 01:04:11,083 --> 01:04:12,109 dirty. 595 01:04:16,041 --> 01:04:18,985 Maybe I'll just give myself a bath right here. 596 01:04:29,439 --> 01:04:31,232 I challenge the mayor... 597 01:04:31,405 --> 01:04:35,068 to re-light the Christmas tree in Gotham Plaza tomorrow night. 598 01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:40,717 Sir, shall we change the channel to a program with some dignity and class? 599 01:04:41,321 --> 01:04:43,469 The Love Connection perhaps? 600 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,910 Not that I have any faith in the mayor. 601 01:04:48,006 --> 01:04:49,799 But I hope and pray... 602 01:04:50,125 --> 01:04:51,516 that Batman... 603 01:04:51,688 --> 01:04:54,393 will be present to preserve the peace. 604 01:04:55,688 --> 01:04:56,800 Subtle. 605 01:05:00,205 --> 01:05:02,075 Why are you doing this? 606 01:05:04,204 --> 01:05:05,316 Selina? 607 01:05:07,407 --> 01:05:09,642 Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. 608 01:05:09,705 --> 01:05:12,365 Scare me? I was just scaring myself. 609 01:05:13,171 --> 01:05:15,079 I don't see how, but... 610 01:05:15,367 --> 01:05:18,522 it's nice to see you in the real world, away from Shreck. 611 01:05:20,009 --> 01:05:21,639 It's nice to be here. 612 01:05:24,852 --> 01:05:26,243 Are you all right? 613 01:05:28,170 --> 01:05:31,163 You look like you have the holiday blues or something. 614 01:05:33,934 --> 01:05:35,919 Boy, the news these days. 615 01:05:36,850 --> 01:05:37,799 Weird! 616 01:05:39,497 --> 01:05:42,479 I heard on TV that Catwoman weighs 140 pounds. 617 01:05:44,532 --> 01:05:46,603 How do these hacks sleep at night? 618 01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:49,442 It's not even accurate. Batman blows it? 619 01:05:49,778 --> 01:05:52,683 He probably saved millions in property damage alone. 620 01:05:53,930 --> 01:05:57,450 You're not going to the re-lighting of the tree, are you? 621 01:05:57,651 --> 01:05:59,886 I wouldn't be caught dead there. 622 01:06:01,017 --> 01:06:04,163 It's going to be a hot time in the cold town tonight. 623 01:06:06,139 --> 01:06:08,805 You got kind of a dark side, don't you? 624 01:06:09,457 --> 01:06:10,924 No darker than yours. 625 01:06:14,943 --> 01:06:18,088 Why don't you come over and we can watch together on TV? 626 01:06:18,462 --> 01:06:20,524 The tree-lighting ceremony. 627 01:06:20,822 --> 01:06:23,574 I can't. I have to be somewhere tonight. 628 01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:26,729 How about coming for dinner at five? 629 01:06:26,902 --> 01:06:28,168 Let's say six? 630 01:06:29,300 --> 01:06:30,048 Five. 631 01:06:30,144 --> 01:06:31,534 Five. You and me. 632 01:06:38,900 --> 01:06:41,892 The tree lights up and then I push the button. 633 01:06:42,218 --> 01:06:43,330 Wait, wait. 634 01:06:43,503 --> 01:06:46,332 I push the button, then the tree lights up. 635 01:06:48,548 --> 01:06:49,938 Who are you? 636 01:06:50,466 --> 01:06:51,895 Talent scout. 637 01:06:52,547 --> 01:06:53,765 Come in. 638 01:06:54,302 --> 01:06:57,256 I don't just light trees. I'm an actress as well. 639 01:06:59,586 --> 01:07:02,377 What is that thing? A camera or something? 640 01:07:03,029 --> 01:07:04,295 Say, cheese! 641 01:07:05,983 --> 01:07:06,932 Cheese. 642 01:07:18,144 --> 01:07:19,342 Thanks, Alfred. 643 01:07:21,193 --> 01:07:23,342 I'm sure he's wonderful company... 644 01:07:23,505 --> 01:07:27,101 but doesn't the "gold-plated-bachelor" bit get a little stale? 645 01:07:28,309 --> 01:07:31,503 A lot like the "lonely-secretary" syndrome, I guess. 646 01:07:32,069 --> 01:07:33,824 Executive Assistant. 647 01:07:34,073 --> 01:07:35,023 Sorry. 648 01:07:38,235 --> 01:07:39,501 Secretary. 649 01:07:43,836 --> 01:07:45,342 Any girlfriend? 650 01:07:48,075 --> 01:07:49,188 Sure. 651 01:07:50,396 --> 01:07:52,343 You mean, as in serious? 652 01:07:53,590 --> 01:07:55,383 No. Had one, didn't work. 653 01:07:55,757 --> 01:07:57,781 What went wrong? Hang on! 654 01:07:57,992 --> 01:07:59,344 I think I know! 655 01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,425 You kept things from her. 656 01:08:01,511 --> 01:08:03,065 I told her everything. 657 01:08:04,235 --> 01:08:05,827 The truth frightened her? 658 01:08:05,913 --> 01:08:07,822 There are two truths... 659 01:08:09,596 --> 01:08:10,862 you know? 660 01:08:11,198 --> 01:08:14,468 She had trouble reconciling them because I had trouble... 661 01:08:15,753 --> 01:08:17,268 reconciling them. 662 01:08:21,114 --> 01:08:22,313 Vicki thought... 663 01:08:22,399 --> 01:08:23,349 Vicki? 664 01:08:24,480 --> 01:08:26,226 Ice skater or stewardess? 665 01:08:28,317 --> 01:08:30,551 No, she was a photojournalist. 666 01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,668 Was Vicki right about your... 667 01:08:33,841 --> 01:08:35,586 difficulty with duality? 668 01:08:39,441 --> 01:08:40,631 You see... 669 01:08:41,523 --> 01:08:43,469 if I say yes, then... 670 01:08:45,119 --> 01:08:47,191 you'll think of me as a... 671 01:08:47,363 --> 01:08:50,029 Norman Bates, a Ted Bundy type and... 672 01:08:58,085 --> 01:08:59,994 You might not let me kiss you. 673 01:09:02,727 --> 01:09:05,911 It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down. 674 01:09:06,084 --> 01:09:09,114 Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed. 675 01:09:47,610 --> 01:09:48,886 I can't do that. 676 01:09:49,049 --> 01:09:50,238 Neither can I. 677 01:09:50,372 --> 01:09:53,844 This is a special bulletin. The Ice Princess has been kidnapped. 678 01:09:54,889 --> 01:09:58,927 Can you confirm reports of Batman's suspected involvement in the abduction? 679 01:09:59,934 --> 01:10:02,562 The evidence is purely circumstantial. 680 01:10:02,936 --> 01:10:07,328 This was found, stained with blood, in the missing girl's dressing room. 681 01:10:08,853 --> 01:10:11,155 - I must go. - No, it's your house. 682 01:10:11,577 --> 01:10:14,962 Hold on. Just sit for a second and relax. I'll be right back. 683 01:10:25,300 --> 01:10:27,410 I've got to go to the plaza. 684 01:10:27,583 --> 01:10:30,729 - He is begging me to show. - I hoped you'd snub him. 685 01:10:30,901 --> 01:10:34,325 I can't. There's been a kidnapping. Here's what I want you to do. 686 01:10:34,421 --> 01:10:35,370 Shit! 687 01:10:39,063 --> 01:10:43,103 Tell Selina, Ms. Kyle, I had to go out of town. 688 01:10:43,263 --> 01:10:46,687 Tell her that a big business deal came up... You know what? 689 01:10:47,224 --> 01:10:50,648 Let her know, not in some kind of dumb, be-my-girlfriend kind of way... 690 01:10:50,744 --> 01:10:52,489 I'll relay the message. 691 01:10:57,304 --> 01:10:59,816 Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that... 692 01:11:00,181 --> 01:11:01,533 Bruce, yes... 693 01:11:02,780 --> 01:11:04,573 Would you tell him... 694 01:11:04,822 --> 01:11:08,016 I've been going through a lot of changes and... 695 01:11:09,944 --> 01:11:11,334 Just that... 696 01:11:11,545 --> 01:11:13,454 this is not a rejection... 697 01:11:13,943 --> 01:11:15,573 my abruptly leaving. 698 01:11:15,708 --> 01:11:18,009 In fact, he makes me feel the way... 699 01:11:18,585 --> 01:11:20,340 I hope I really am. 700 01:11:21,989 --> 01:11:25,461 Could you just make up a sonnet or something, a dirty limerick? 701 01:11:26,104 --> 01:11:28,175 One has just sprung to mind. 702 01:11:29,470 --> 01:11:30,937 This way, ma'am. 703 01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:31,184 Ladies and Gentlemen. 704 01:12:31,443 --> 01:12:33,869 Please, may I have your attention? 705 01:12:36,162 --> 01:12:38,348 I know that to many of you... 706 01:12:38,636 --> 01:12:41,590 Gotham seems a bit beleaguered these days. 707 01:12:42,242 --> 01:12:44,697 But I want you to know your elected officials... 708 01:12:44,802 --> 01:12:46,788 and your police department... 709 01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:49,339 have the situation well in hand. 710 01:13:47,070 --> 01:13:48,097 Got to hurry. 711 01:13:48,192 --> 01:13:49,005 Thank you. 712 01:13:49,051 --> 01:13:51,197 It was set up to look like I did it. 713 01:13:51,293 --> 01:13:54,205 I'll tell the police I was kidnapped by an ugly birdman with fish breath. 714 01:13:54,251 --> 01:13:55,443 Did somebody say fish? 715 01:13:55,692 --> 01:13:58,764 I haven't been fed all day. 716 01:13:58,969 --> 01:14:00,283 Eat floor. 717 01:14:01,770 --> 01:14:02,882 High fiber. 718 01:14:04,014 --> 01:14:05,280 Hey, stud... 719 01:14:05,452 --> 01:14:08,560 - I thought we had something together. - We do. 720 01:14:23,895 --> 01:14:25,727 Got to go. Girl talk. 721 01:14:52,983 --> 01:14:56,493 She let me go. I think 'cause I reasoned with her, girl-to-girl. 722 01:14:58,219 --> 01:15:00,175 Be careful. Don't move. 723 01:15:02,419 --> 01:15:03,733 Lawn dart! 724 01:15:07,665 --> 01:15:09,775 Rats with wings, do your thing. 725 01:15:16,028 --> 01:15:17,774 Batman pushed the Princess! 726 01:15:32,792 --> 01:15:34,010 Hold your fire! 727 01:15:48,434 --> 01:15:50,726 You're catnip to a girl like me. 728 01:15:51,954 --> 01:15:53,623 Handsome, dazed... 729 01:15:54,994 --> 01:15:56,663 and to die for. 730 01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:06,656 Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. 731 01:16:07,395 --> 01:16:08,823 But a kiss... 732 01:16:09,150 --> 01:16:11,614 can be even deadlier if you mean it. 733 01:16:20,677 --> 01:16:23,468 You're the second man who's killed me this week. 734 01:16:23,631 --> 01:16:25,549 But I've got seven lives left. 735 01:16:25,712 --> 01:16:27,103 I tried to save you... 736 01:16:27,199 --> 01:16:30,229 Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead. 737 01:16:30,594 --> 01:16:32,349 Or deeply resentful. 738 01:16:33,317 --> 01:16:35,149 Maybe you should retire. 739 01:16:57,198 --> 01:16:58,310 Damn. 740 01:17:32,049 --> 01:17:33,440 Outstanding! 741 01:17:34,130 --> 01:17:36,355 You're Beauty and the Beast... 742 01:17:36,844 --> 01:17:39,520 in one luscious Christmas gift pack. 743 01:17:40,690 --> 01:17:42,992 You said you'd scare the Ice Princess. 744 01:17:43,088 --> 01:17:45,159 She looked pretty scared to me. 745 01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:49,158 A touch of the bubbly? 746 01:17:52,927 --> 01:17:54,922 So what are we waiting for? 747 01:17:55,133 --> 01:17:57,636 Let's consummate our fiendish union. 748 01:17:58,451 --> 01:17:59,894 What are you talking about? 749 01:18:00,053 --> 01:18:01,444 Oh, come on. 750 01:18:01,971 --> 01:18:03,486 Can't you picture? 751 01:18:03,649 --> 01:18:05,721 It's dark in the mayor's mansion. 752 01:18:06,095 --> 01:18:09,202 I'm bushed, so here you come into the bedroom... 753 01:18:10,372 --> 01:18:12,367 twitching your little tail... 754 01:18:12,530 --> 01:18:15,724 my slippers in one hand, a dry martini in the other. 755 01:18:15,973 --> 01:18:16,999 Please. 756 01:18:17,498 --> 01:18:19,522 I wouldn't touch you to scratch you. 757 01:18:19,617 --> 01:18:23,761 You lousy minx! I should have you spayed! You sent out all the signals! 758 01:18:24,374 --> 01:18:26,753 I don't think I like you anymore! 759 01:18:34,454 --> 01:18:36,410 Good-bye, my unintended. 760 01:18:36,899 --> 01:18:38,117 Go to heaven. 761 01:19:35,382 --> 01:19:36,523 There he is! 762 01:19:39,064 --> 01:19:40,733 Don't adjust your sets. 763 01:19:40,944 --> 01:19:42,172 Welcome... 764 01:19:42,431 --> 01:19:45,375 to the Oswald Cobblepot School of Driving. 765 01:19:46,708 --> 01:19:49,010 Gentlemen, start your screaming. 766 01:20:21,751 --> 01:20:25,703 This may be a bad time to mention it, but my license has expired! 767 01:20:42,198 --> 01:20:43,148 Just relax. 768 01:20:43,397 --> 01:20:47,626 I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham! 769 01:21:32,682 --> 01:21:36,595 You must admit I played this stinking city like a harp from hell! 770 01:21:56,006 --> 01:21:58,279 Helpless old lady at 12:00 high! 771 01:22:34,214 --> 01:22:35,403 That's funny. 772 01:22:43,814 --> 01:22:45,483 Now I'm a little worried. 773 01:23:11,300 --> 01:23:13,094 So he survived. Why worry? 774 01:23:13,257 --> 01:23:16,853 He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control! 775 01:23:17,707 --> 01:23:20,977 Listen to them. They've lost faith in old symbols. 776 01:23:21,581 --> 01:23:24,449 They're ready to bond with you, the icon of the future. 777 01:23:24,545 --> 01:23:26,376 If it works, don't fix it. 778 01:23:26,626 --> 01:23:28,975 We'll celebrate tonight at my annual ball. 779 01:23:29,062 --> 01:23:30,970 Shreck and Cobblepot... 780 01:23:31,584 --> 01:23:33,617 The visionary alliance. 781 01:23:52,549 --> 01:23:54,294 When it came time... 782 01:23:54,630 --> 01:23:57,459 to ensure the safety of our fair city... 783 01:23:58,945 --> 01:24:01,142 did the mayor have a plan? 784 01:24:01,986 --> 01:24:03,021 No! 785 01:24:04,469 --> 01:24:06,177 He relied on a man. 786 01:24:08,066 --> 01:24:09,341 A Batman. 787 01:24:10,310 --> 01:24:13,999 A ticking time-bomb of a costumed freak... 788 01:24:14,472 --> 01:24:17,340 Our prime concern is this ghastly grotesque. 789 01:24:17,992 --> 01:24:21,022 But let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. 790 01:24:21,272 --> 01:24:23,142 There's security to consider. 791 01:24:23,430 --> 01:24:26,259 We can't just take it to any old body shop. 792 01:24:27,352 --> 01:24:28,388 Security? 793 01:24:28,637 --> 01:24:30,786 Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? 794 01:24:30,872 --> 01:24:35,024 I'm working, I turn around and there she is. Hi, Vick. Come on in. 795 01:24:44,078 --> 01:24:46,264 - Ready? - I'll take the stairs. 796 01:25:07,076 --> 01:25:09,999 You ask me, am I up here for personal glory? 797 01:25:12,322 --> 01:25:13,348 No. 798 01:25:25,767 --> 01:25:28,395 The glory that I yearn to recapture... 799 01:25:29,603 --> 01:25:31,637 is the glory of Gotham! 800 01:25:49,043 --> 01:25:51,239 How can this be accomplished? 801 01:25:53,570 --> 01:25:54,836 I know... 802 01:25:55,047 --> 01:25:56,994 you're all concerned. 803 01:25:59,372 --> 01:26:00,504 Just relax. 804 01:26:01,127 --> 01:26:05,357 I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham. 805 01:26:12,530 --> 01:26:14,036 I didn't say that. 806 01:26:16,328 --> 01:26:19,282 You must admit I played this stinking city... 807 01:26:20,327 --> 01:26:22,322 like a harp from hell! 808 01:26:24,010 --> 01:26:25,362 You must admit... 809 01:26:25,535 --> 01:26:28,882 I played this stinking city like a harp from hell! 810 01:27:20,104 --> 01:27:23,854 Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech? 811 01:27:46,861 --> 01:27:48,252 There he is! 812 01:28:18,548 --> 01:28:19,862 My babies. 813 01:28:21,109 --> 01:28:22,701 Did you miss me? 814 01:28:36,156 --> 01:28:37,739 Did you miss me? 815 01:28:39,350 --> 01:28:41,143 Great speech, Oswald. 816 01:28:42,352 --> 01:28:44,183 My name is not Oswald! 817 01:28:44,797 --> 01:28:46,226 It's Penguin! 818 01:28:46,514 --> 01:28:48,422 I am not a human being! 819 01:28:48,796 --> 01:28:51,021 I am an animal. Cold-blooded! 820 01:28:52,431 --> 01:28:53,946 Crank the A.C.! 821 01:28:54,157 --> 01:28:56,823 Where are my lists? Bring me the names! 822 01:28:57,840 --> 01:28:59,144 It's time. 823 01:28:59,518 --> 01:29:03,134 These are the names of the first-born sons of Gotham City. 824 01:29:03,757 --> 01:29:05,349 Just like I was. 825 01:29:05,762 --> 01:29:08,629 And like me, a terrible fate waits for them. 826 01:29:10,394 --> 01:29:12,993 Tonight, while their parents party... 827 01:29:13,597 --> 01:29:15,832 they'll be dreaming away... 828 01:29:16,244 --> 01:29:18,229 in their safe cribs... 829 01:29:18,479 --> 01:29:20,272 their soft beds... 830 01:29:20,636 --> 01:29:22,708 and we'll snatch them... 831 01:29:22,881 --> 01:29:24,789 carry them into the sewer... 832 01:29:24,962 --> 01:29:28,107 and toss them into a deep, dark, watery grave. 833 01:29:30,083 --> 01:29:31,196 Penguin? 834 01:29:31,924 --> 01:29:34,073 Killing sleeping children... 835 01:29:34,399 --> 01:29:36,077 isn't that a little... 836 01:29:45,926 --> 01:29:47,432 No, it's a lot. 837 01:29:57,003 --> 01:29:58,279 A reminder. 838 01:29:58,442 --> 01:30:02,278 Tonight is that loathsome party hosted by the odious Mr. Shreck. 839 01:30:02,604 --> 01:30:05,318 May we RSVP in the resoundingly negative? 840 01:30:06,009 --> 01:30:07,227 Not interested. 841 01:30:09,327 --> 01:30:10,516 Although... 842 01:30:12,770 --> 01:30:14,755 Selina Kyle might be there. 843 01:30:37,091 --> 01:30:38,760 Ingenious costume. 844 01:30:39,172 --> 01:30:40,601 Let me guess. 845 01:30:40,774 --> 01:30:42,682 Trust-fund goody-goody? 846 01:30:43,977 --> 01:30:45,320 Feeling good? 847 01:30:46,298 --> 01:30:49,568 You almost made a monster the mayor of Gotham City. 848 01:30:49,971 --> 01:30:52,206 I am the light of this city... 849 01:30:52,532 --> 01:30:54,920 and I am its mean, twisted soul. 850 01:30:55,332 --> 01:30:57,001 Does it matter who's mayor? 851 01:30:57,097 --> 01:30:58,238 It does to me. 852 01:30:58,612 --> 01:30:59,725 Yawn. 853 01:31:36,465 --> 01:31:38,767 I'm sorry about yesterday, but I had... 854 01:31:38,901 --> 01:31:42,210 a pretty big deal come through, fall through, actually. 855 01:31:42,383 --> 01:31:45,135 It's okay. I had to go home and feed my cat. 856 01:31:53,747 --> 01:31:55,339 No hard feelings then? 857 01:31:57,747 --> 01:31:59,099 Actually... 858 01:32:01,142 --> 01:32:02,973 semi-hard, I'd say. 859 01:32:08,948 --> 01:32:12,295 There's a big, comfy California King over in Bedding. 860 01:32:13,791 --> 01:32:15,374 What do you say? 861 01:32:16,467 --> 01:32:18,260 Take off our costumes? 862 01:32:21,627 --> 01:32:23,698 I'm tired of wearing masks. 863 01:32:24,513 --> 01:32:25,703 Me too. 864 01:32:27,074 --> 01:32:28,743 Let me ask you something. 865 01:32:29,951 --> 01:32:31,582 Why'd you come tonight? 866 01:32:32,195 --> 01:32:34,104 - You first. - To see you. 867 01:32:36,473 --> 01:32:37,422 Lovely. 868 01:32:39,033 --> 01:32:42,141 I wish I could say the same, but I came for Max. 869 01:32:44,989 --> 01:32:46,543 Do you mean you... 870 01:32:46,869 --> 01:32:48,183 Not you and Max? 871 01:32:49,592 --> 01:32:50,945 Me and Max? 872 01:32:57,274 --> 01:32:58,943 No. This and Max. 873 01:33:02,079 --> 01:33:06,030 Don't tell me killing Max won't solve anything, because it will. 874 01:33:07,076 --> 01:33:10,269 Aren't you tired of this sanctimonious robber baron... 875 01:33:10,432 --> 01:33:13,223 coming out on top when he should be six feet under? 876 01:33:13,319 --> 01:33:17,309 You may have problems with your boss, but who do you think you are? 877 01:33:20,195 --> 01:33:22,353 I don't know anymore, Bruce. 878 01:33:36,278 --> 01:33:38,350 A kiss under the mistletoe. 879 01:33:41,486 --> 01:33:43,548 Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. 880 01:33:43,644 --> 01:33:45,792 But a kiss can be even deadlier... 881 01:33:48,199 --> 01:33:49,676 if you mean it. 882 01:33:59,564 --> 01:34:00,916 Oh, my God. 883 01:34:01,808 --> 01:34:04,234 Does this mean we have to start fighting? 884 01:34:05,241 --> 01:34:06,757 Let's go outside. 885 01:34:41,167 --> 01:34:43,162 - Are you okay? - I'm all right. 886 01:34:51,016 --> 01:34:52,839 You didn't invite me... 887 01:34:53,098 --> 01:34:54,680 so I crashed! 888 01:34:58,094 --> 01:34:59,120 What do you want? 889 01:34:59,216 --> 01:35:00,962 Right now, my troops... 890 01:35:01,211 --> 01:35:03,369 are fanning out across town... 891 01:35:03,618 --> 01:35:05,364 for your children! 892 01:35:05,651 --> 01:35:06,601 Yes! 893 01:35:06,774 --> 01:35:08,768 For your first-born sons! 894 01:35:09,497 --> 01:35:12,250 The ones you left defenseless at home... 895 01:35:12,537 --> 01:35:14,762 so you could dress up like jerks... 896 01:35:14,858 --> 01:35:16,891 get juiced and dance... 897 01:35:17,659 --> 01:35:18,925 badly! 898 01:35:23,336 --> 01:35:25,245 I've personally come... 899 01:35:25,820 --> 01:35:28,093 for Gotham's favorite son... 900 01:35:28,294 --> 01:35:30,011 Mr. Chip Shreck. 901 01:35:31,181 --> 01:35:33,771 You're coming with me, you Great White Dope... 902 01:35:34,701 --> 01:35:36,926 to die, way down in the sewer! 903 01:35:37,578 --> 01:35:41,203 Not Chip. If you have any human feeling, take me instead. 904 01:35:43,418 --> 01:35:45,049 I don't. So, no! 905 01:35:45,500 --> 01:35:46,718 I'm the one you want. 906 01:35:46,823 --> 01:35:50,170 Isn't it Max Shreck who manipulated and betrayed you? 907 01:35:50,707 --> 01:35:52,692 Isn't it Max, not Chip... 908 01:35:53,268 --> 01:35:56,615 you want to see immersed to his eyeballs in raw sewage? 909 01:36:01,420 --> 01:36:03,098 Okay, you got a point. 910 01:36:03,424 --> 01:36:06,052 I'll let the little prince live, for now. 911 01:36:06,301 --> 01:36:07,442 In the duck! 912 01:36:33,826 --> 01:36:35,897 This is going to be good... 913 01:36:36,626 --> 01:36:40,222 to cut down a whole crop of Gotham's most promising... 914 01:36:41,268 --> 01:36:42,860 before their prime. 915 01:36:45,114 --> 01:36:47,569 You ask me how do I lure them in? 916 01:36:51,549 --> 01:36:53,822 A little "Pied Penguin" action. 917 01:36:56,315 --> 01:36:58,694 And you get to watch them sink... 918 01:36:59,518 --> 01:37:01,264 into a deep puddle... 919 01:37:01,436 --> 01:37:03,863 of your industrial by-products. 920 01:37:04,678 --> 01:37:05,733 Then... 921 01:37:05,954 --> 01:37:07,507 you join them. 922 01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:42,464 Hurry up and get those kids loaded. 923 01:37:51,681 --> 01:37:53,589 Right this way, kiddies. 924 01:37:54,126 --> 01:37:55,555 Come with me. 925 01:38:11,370 --> 01:38:13,595 So where are all the children? 926 01:38:17,450 --> 01:38:18,716 Dear Penguin. 927 01:38:18,927 --> 01:38:21,919 The children regret they're unable to attend. 928 01:38:22,447 --> 01:38:23,713 Batman! 929 01:38:36,688 --> 01:38:38,396 My dear penguins... 930 01:38:39,729 --> 01:38:42,107 We stand on a great threshold! 931 01:38:43,526 --> 01:38:45,444 It's okay to be scared! 932 01:38:46,087 --> 01:38:48,475 Many of you won't be coming back. 933 01:38:48,849 --> 01:38:50,566 Thanks to Batman... 934 01:38:51,208 --> 01:38:52,963 the time has come... 935 01:38:53,174 --> 01:38:55,476 to punish all God's children! 936 01:38:56,934 --> 01:38:59,686 First, second, third and fourth-born! 937 01:39:00,453 --> 01:39:01,921 Why be biased? 938 01:39:02,218 --> 01:39:03,800 Male and female! 939 01:39:04,529 --> 01:39:06,687 Hell, the sexes are equal... 940 01:39:07,570 --> 01:39:09,727 with their erogenous zones... 941 01:39:09,890 --> 01:39:11,569 blown sky-high! 942 01:39:14,379 --> 01:39:17,889 Forward march! 943 01:39:18,292 --> 01:39:20,363 The liberation of Gotham... 944 01:39:21,495 --> 01:39:22,924 has begun! 945 01:40:06,224 --> 01:40:08,449 The penguins are moving above ground. 946 01:40:32,790 --> 01:40:34,219 Penguin army... 947 01:40:34,392 --> 01:40:37,576 approaching launch destination at Gotham Plaza. 948 01:40:38,870 --> 01:40:40,903 One minute until ignition. 949 01:40:41,431 --> 01:40:43,617 They wouldn't put me on a pedestal... 950 01:40:43,790 --> 01:40:46,092 so I'm laying them on a slab! 951 01:40:47,310 --> 01:40:49,938 Penguins seem to be converging on Gotham Plaza. 952 01:41:12,235 --> 01:41:14,268 Thirty seconds until ignition. 953 01:41:16,158 --> 01:41:18,584 Estimated casualties after launch, 954 01:41:19,677 --> 01:41:21,183 100,000 people. 955 01:41:24,473 --> 01:41:27,148 The penguins have reached Gotham Square. 956 01:41:45,763 --> 01:41:47,672 Fifteen seconds to ignition. 957 01:41:50,156 --> 01:41:51,786 Ready when you are, sir. 958 01:41:54,481 --> 01:41:56,150 I've got the coordinates. 959 01:42:03,678 --> 01:42:05,309 Let's turn them around. 960 01:42:13,528 --> 01:42:14,957 Something is wrong. 961 01:42:16,644 --> 01:42:18,639 Something has jammed the signal. 962 01:42:28,489 --> 01:42:30,762 They seem to be turning around. 963 01:43:00,569 --> 01:43:03,321 There is also something coming this way. 964 01:43:04,251 --> 01:43:06,160 Very large. Very fast. 965 01:43:21,773 --> 01:43:23,048 Who's there? 966 01:43:30,021 --> 01:43:32,246 I'm homing in on the signal's origin. 967 01:44:45,190 --> 01:44:48,135 You're jealous because I'm a genuine freak... 968 01:44:48,470 --> 01:44:50,618 and you have to wear a mask! 969 01:44:50,868 --> 01:44:52,460 You might be right. 970 01:44:54,953 --> 01:44:58,732 But what it all comes down to is, who's holding the umbrella? 971 01:45:24,156 --> 01:45:25,460 My babies! 972 01:46:58,209 --> 01:47:02,362 I don't know what you want, but I can get it with a minimum of fuss. 973 01:47:04,453 --> 01:47:05,565 Money. 974 01:47:05,891 --> 01:47:06,841 Jewels. 975 01:47:07,128 --> 01:47:09,037 A very big ball of string. 976 01:47:13,333 --> 01:47:14,925 Your blood, Max. 977 01:47:15,136 --> 01:47:16,642 I gave at the office. 978 01:47:17,054 --> 01:47:19,126 A half-pint. I'm talking gallons. 979 01:47:19,490 --> 01:47:20,881 Let's make a deal! 980 01:47:21,054 --> 01:47:23,087 Other than my blood, what can I do? 981 01:47:23,173 --> 01:47:25,360 Sorry, Max, a die for a die. 982 01:47:36,139 --> 01:47:38,403 You're not just saving a life... 983 01:47:38,537 --> 01:47:40,484 Shut up. You're going to jail. 984 01:47:41,174 --> 01:47:45,250 Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply to people like him or us. 985 01:47:45,816 --> 01:47:47,331 Wrong on both counts. 986 01:47:57,018 --> 01:47:58,130 Why do this? 987 01:48:01,976 --> 01:48:04,047 Let's just take him to the police. 988 01:48:05,582 --> 01:48:07,212 Then we can go home... 989 01:48:08,382 --> 01:48:09,495 together. 990 01:48:15,307 --> 01:48:16,333 Selina... 991 01:48:19,421 --> 01:48:21,013 Don't you see? 992 01:48:22,106 --> 01:48:23,324 We're the same. 993 01:48:25,664 --> 01:48:27,016 We're the same. 994 01:48:28,666 --> 01:48:29,692 Split... 995 01:48:30,105 --> 01:48:31,534 down the center. 996 01:48:52,230 --> 01:48:53,419 Please. 997 01:48:54,627 --> 01:48:55,740 Bruce... 998 01:48:56,545 --> 01:48:59,576 I would love to live with you in your castle... 999 01:49:01,993 --> 01:49:04,620 forever, just like in a fairy tale. 1000 01:49:10,154 --> 01:49:13,770 I just couldn't live with myself. Don't pretend this is a happy ending. 1001 01:49:16,388 --> 01:49:17,587 Selina Kyle. 1002 01:49:19,035 --> 01:49:20,387 You're fired. 1003 01:49:20,790 --> 01:49:22,305 And Bruce Wayne... 1004 01:49:22,794 --> 01:49:24,540 Why are you dressed up like Batman? 1005 01:49:24,636 --> 01:49:26,937 Because he is Batman, you moron! 1006 01:49:28,270 --> 01:49:29,306 Was. 1007 01:49:31,790 --> 01:49:32,701 Don't. 1008 01:49:32,874 --> 01:49:36,346 You killed me, the Penguin killed me, Batman killed me. 1009 01:49:36,873 --> 01:49:39,789 Three lives down. Got enough to finish me off? 1010 01:49:39,875 --> 01:49:41,342 One way to find out. 1011 01:49:44,795 --> 01:49:45,744 Four. 1012 01:49:45,994 --> 01:49:47,106 Five. 1013 01:49:50,434 --> 01:49:51,575 Still alive! 1014 01:50:00,878 --> 01:50:01,914 Six. 1015 01:50:02,077 --> 01:50:03,112 Seven. 1016 01:50:03,323 --> 01:50:05,472 All good girls go to heaven. 1017 01:50:11,677 --> 01:50:13,192 Two lives left. 1018 01:50:15,359 --> 01:50:17,738 I'll save one for next Christmas. 1019 01:50:20,078 --> 01:50:21,910 But in the meantime... 1020 01:50:23,684 --> 01:50:25,755 how about a kiss, Santie Claus? 1021 01:51:53,220 --> 01:51:54,323 Shit! 1022 01:51:54,658 --> 01:51:56,404 I picked a cute one. 1023 01:51:59,780 --> 01:52:01,765 The heat's getting to me. 1024 01:52:02,657 --> 01:52:04,805 I'll murder you momentarily. 1025 01:52:07,020 --> 01:52:08,411 But first... 1026 01:52:09,140 --> 01:52:11,125 I need a cool drink... 1027 01:52:11,816 --> 01:52:13,408 of ice water. 1028 01:53:51,278 --> 01:53:52,544 Stop the car. 1029 01:55:10,245 --> 01:55:11,837 Come what may... 1030 01:55:12,250 --> 01:55:14,158 Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne! 1031 01:55:15,127 --> 01:55:16,796 Merry Christmas, Alfred! 1032 01:55:18,493 --> 01:55:20,075 Goodwill toward men... 1033 01:55:22,655 --> 01:55:23,844 and women.