1 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,891 There. That's better. 2 00:00:41,376 --> 00:00:42,554 All clean. 3 00:00:49,247 --> 00:00:52,477 He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're awake 4 00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:53,852 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:57,432 -And what are you talking about? -I'm talkin' about Santa Claus! 6 00:00:57,502 --> 00:01:00,733 Only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good. 7 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:04,475 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You better be scarce. Now go on. 8 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,298 I don't care about Christmas. 9 00:01:11,743 --> 00:01:14,229 Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way 10 00:01:14,301 --> 00:01:16,211 -Donkey! -51 days left till Christmas. 11 00:01:16,286 --> 00:01:18,653 Get your butt in gear and get your marshmallows, 12 00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:21,816 because without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothin'! 13 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:26,010 Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense. 14 00:01:26,078 --> 00:01:27,125 Now shoo! 15 00:01:27,198 --> 00:01:29,336 OK. But don't say I didn't say I told you so. 16 00:01:34,526 --> 00:01:37,241 Smashing through the snow And laughin' all the way 17 00:01:37,308 --> 00:01:40,821 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! Got everything ready? 18 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,715 -No. -You haven't trimmed stockings 19 00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:44,951 or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? 20 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,908 -Or figgified your puddin'? -Donkey! 21 00:01:46,972 --> 00:01:48,695 Will you get it through your head? 22 00:01:48,764 --> 00:01:52,025 No one here gives a hoot about Christmas! 23 00:01:52,092 --> 00:01:54,907 A white Christmas! How perfect. 24 00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:58,452 And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting? 25 00:01:58,524 --> 00:02:01,012 Oh, yeah! How 'bout that? 26 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:02,993 There's somethin' Shrek needs to... 27 00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:05,272 Don't ruin the surprise for her, Donkey. 28 00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:08,155 Surprise? Oh, I love surprises! 29 00:02:08,219 --> 00:02:11,350 You're the best. Come on, let's go make some cookies. 30 00:02:12,795 --> 00:02:15,031 OK, you a dead man. You know that? 31 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,007 Hold that thought. I'll be right back. 32 00:02:38,456 --> 00:02:40,367 OH, good, you're still open. 33 00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:43,255 No, we're closing now. Merry Christmas. 34 00:02:43,321 --> 00:02:46,420 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help. I have to make a Christmas, 35 00:02:46,489 --> 00:02:49,009 and I have no idea what it is or how to do it! 36 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,088 Why didn't you say so? That's super. 37 00:02:51,161 --> 00:02:53,715 I know all about Christmas, and I've just the book. 38 00:02:53,785 --> 00:02:56,784 Christmas for Village Idiots. It's all spelled out. See? 39 00:02:56,856 --> 00:02:59,344 One, decorate house. Two, the stockings by the fireplace. 40 00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,784 Step three, the Christmas feast. 41 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,182 -What's that? -Step four? The Christmas tree! 42 00:03:04,248 --> 00:03:06,036 The tree goes inside the house? 43 00:03:07,447 --> 00:03:10,383 Anyway, step five, the telling of the Christmas story. 44 00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,522 This is the step that says I created the perfect Christmas 45 00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:16,275 for my perfect family perfectly. Family by the fire, 46 00:03:16,344 --> 00:03:18,765 everyone cozy and warm. Happy, happy. Voila! 47 00:03:18,839 --> 00:03:20,562 -Sure. -Long story short, 48 00:03:20,631 --> 00:03:22,542 it's all right here. It's no problem. 49 00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:24,503 -Perfect. -I mean, how hard can it be? 50 00:03:24,568 --> 00:03:28,276 -I didn't get the eggnog! -Closed?! What do you mean? 51 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,546 -Dwight the Knight action figure? -Marshmallows! 52 00:03:30,614 --> 00:03:33,232 Sweet potatoes are nothing without marshmallows! 53 00:03:33,302 --> 00:03:35,277 Bye-bye. Have a super Christmas. 54 00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:45,108 Honey, is that you? 55 00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:49,354 Fiona! What are you doing up so early? 56 00:03:50,261 --> 00:03:52,977 -Are you OK? -I'm all right. 57 00:03:53,044 --> 00:03:57,202 What are you? Are you decorating? 58 00:03:57,844 --> 00:04:00,813 -Yeah, that. Surprised? -Yes. 59 00:04:00,885 --> 00:04:04,082 Well, this is our first Christmas together as a family, 60 00:04:04,149 --> 00:04:07,279 and, you know, I just want to make sure that it's perfect. 61 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,415 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful. 62 00:04:10,485 --> 00:04:12,306 -It's passable. -It's horrible! 63 00:04:12,372 --> 00:04:14,641 -Donkey! -They usually toilet paper and run. 64 00:04:14,707 --> 00:04:17,359 Whoever did this means business! Get rid of all this 65 00:04:17,428 --> 00:04:19,369 and get tinsel and doilies and ribbons 66 00:04:19,444 --> 00:04:20,939 and some plastic reindeer. 67 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,922 What is it you wanted today? 68 00:04:22,995 --> 00:04:25,995 It's Christmas Eve! I've brought you a little somethin'. 69 00:04:26,068 --> 00:04:28,882 Go ahead, take a couple. I bought plenty for everybody! 70 00:04:28,947 --> 00:04:31,533 Oh, isn't that... nice. 71 00:04:31,603 --> 00:04:35,858 Well, thanks for stopping by for that brief visit, but as you can see, 72 00:04:35,922 --> 00:04:37,613 there's a lot of work to do. 73 00:04:37,683 --> 00:04:39,625 Just like him to wait till last minute. 74 00:04:39,698 --> 00:04:42,382 Don't worry, there's one thing I know, it's Christmas. 75 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:45,298 He's gonna want help, advice, and he's definitely... 76 00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:50,153 Actually, I think what he really wants is a nice family Christmas. 77 00:04:50,226 --> 00:04:53,521 Oh, a family Christmas. 78 00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:55,560 Yeah. It's the first one with the kids. 79 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:57,967 Don't say a word. I know exactly what you mean. 80 00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,400 I got a lot to do now, so I better get movin'. 81 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,767 Thank you, Donkey! And Merry Christmas! 82 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,328 All right. Merry Christmas! 83 00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:07,980 Love and joy come to you and to me some waffles too 84 00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:12,170 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve. 85 00:05:12,241 --> 00:05:14,761 How am I ever gonna get this done in time? 86 00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:17,101 This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. 87 00:05:17,168 --> 00:05:19,437 And we're going to do it together, so come on. 88 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:45,635 Everything looks so good! 89 00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:47,238 Nice job, honey. 90 00:05:47,311 --> 00:05:49,546 Well, we all did it together. 91 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:53,193 Now what would the perfect Christmas be without a Christmas story? 92 00:05:54,542 --> 00:05:58,666 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 93 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,995 Not a creature was stirring... What? 94 00:06:02,063 --> 00:06:04,583 -Merry Christmas, Shrek! -Oh, not you! 95 00:06:04,654 --> 00:06:06,694 We're here to smother you with Christmas love! 96 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,351 Absolutely not! Bad Donkey! Go home! 97 00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,691 How are you gonna have Christmas without family? 98 00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:13,613 -Seasons greeting! -Happy Holidays! 99 00:06:13,678 --> 00:06:15,533 -Merry Christmas! -A nice surprise! 100 00:06:15,598 --> 00:06:16,972 Oh, yeah. 101 00:06:19,950 --> 00:06:23,364 OK, I will assume the position. 102 00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:30,633 -I am the joy-filled swine! -Yay, for the season of love! 103 00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:33,962 This is for stockings. You can't be hanging laundry up! 104 00:06:34,028 --> 00:06:36,067 Donkey! Don't touch anything. 105 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,627 How we gonna roast chestnuts on this little bitty fire? 106 00:06:39,693 --> 00:06:40,739 Hey, baby, you mind? 107 00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:47,429 -Oh, boy! -This way, gents. 108 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,320 That was our supper! 109 00:06:50,795 --> 00:06:52,039 Hey! 110 00:06:54,092 --> 00:06:57,125 Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? 111 00:06:57,195 --> 00:06:59,530 -Where are we going to put it? -I don't know. 112 00:06:59,596 --> 00:07:02,595 Let's put it over here. No, that is not with the feng shui. 113 00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:04,456 Come on, everybody, let's dance! 114 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:20,039 -Occupied! -It's me. Shrek? 115 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,816 -Yes? -Come back to the party. Please? 116 00:07:23,881 --> 00:07:25,889 I don't think that'd be such a good idea. 117 00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:29,475 Come on. It's not that bad. 118 00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:32,295 OK, I know you're not a party person, but... 119 00:07:32,361 --> 00:07:35,622 But what? This is not the kind of Christmas I had in mind. 120 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,984 They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well. 121 00:07:39,049 --> 00:07:41,918 -How many babies did Fiona have? -She has babies? 122 00:07:41,993 --> 00:07:44,327 -I don't know. -I better get back to the house. 123 00:07:44,392 --> 00:07:46,335 Surprised we have a house to go back to. 124 00:07:46,409 --> 00:07:49,725 -Are you coming? -I can hardly wait. 125 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,556 Finally! 126 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:00,738 Look at him go! 127 00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:02,629 Excuse me! Excuse me! 128 00:08:02,695 --> 00:08:04,353 Excuse you for what? 129 00:08:04,424 --> 00:08:07,292 I don't feel very good. 130 00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:11,589 -I feel better now. -A chocolate chip! 131 00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:12,736 Sweetheart? 132 00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,854 Mind if I cut in? 133 00:08:18,919 --> 00:08:22,531 Don't stop believing 134 00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:26,691 Up and down the boulevard 135 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:31,553 I am a little Christmas angel! 136 00:08:31,621 --> 00:08:33,508 Hey there, my sweeties. 137 00:08:35,751 --> 00:08:39,066 Would you like Daddy to finish the story for you? 138 00:08:39,142 --> 00:08:40,351 Yeah? 139 00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:43,104 The children were nestled all snug in their beds, 140 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:46,435 -while visions of sugarplums... -Were you tellin' 'em 141 00:08:46,502 --> 00:08:49,348 The Night Before Christmas? That's the best Christmas story ever! 142 00:08:49,412 --> 00:08:51,323 -I'm the best teller ever! -Donkey... 143 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,890 I got it committed to memorization! 144 00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,852 -Gather round! -Donkey! Wait! 145 00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:57,251 I'm supposed to tell the Christmas story. 146 00:08:57,317 --> 00:09:00,185 'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day 147 00:09:00,259 --> 00:09:03,010 Finishin' up on my Christmas display 148 00:09:03,077 --> 00:09:05,565 Now, missin' all this would be nothin' but tragic 149 00:09:05,637 --> 00:09:08,287 So just follow me and I'll show you the magic 150 00:09:08,356 --> 00:09:10,429 Now, out in the yard in a glorious clutter 151 00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:13,216 Is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter 152 00:09:13,284 --> 00:09:15,772 With 20-foot cheese balls and a big eggnog fountain 153 00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:18,746 And yodelin' elves on an ambrosia mountain 154 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,241 A stage where acrobats jump, leap and prance 155 00:09:21,316 --> 00:09:24,282 And honor the day through interpretive dance 156 00:09:25,122 --> 00:09:27,392 But just when you think the display is complete 157 00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,946 The Christmas parade comes right down the street 158 00:09:30,018 --> 00:09:32,352 With holiday floats all in silver and blue 159 00:09:32,418 --> 00:09:35,321 With sugarplum fairies and a reindeer or two 160 00:09:35,394 --> 00:09:38,012 There's a baton-twirlin' snowman all happy and perky 161 00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,864 Magical peacocks and a dancin' roast turkey 162 00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,421 And right when you think that you've just seen it all 163 00:09:47,491 --> 00:09:51,168 Comes a huge waffle Santa that's 50 feet tall 164 00:09:51,235 --> 00:09:53,624 Ho, ho, ho! 165 00:09:53,698 --> 00:09:56,415 With syrup and butter the sight just amazes 166 00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:59,165 As it's flanked by a choir all singin' his praises 167 00:10:07,009 --> 00:10:09,464 -Donkey. -Santa? 168 00:10:09,536 --> 00:10:10,746 -Donkey! -Santa! 169 00:10:10,817 --> 00:10:12,671 Donkey! 170 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,803 Very inappropriate, amigo. Please, allow me. 171 00:10:15,872 --> 00:10:18,239 -Oh, Puss, not you too. -In my homeland, 172 00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:21,151 we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. 173 00:10:21,216 --> 00:10:23,452 He's not made of waffles. 174 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,585 This Santa was suave He was nothing like that 175 00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:30,714 The Santa I know was a hot Latin cat 176 00:10:30,784 --> 00:10:34,614 He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws 177 00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:39,990 And he stood there heroic A real Santa... Claws 178 00:10:40,063 --> 00:10:42,518 Red are his boots 179 00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:45,307 -And so is his cape -Olé! 180 00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:49,204 His sword is a cane that tastes like crab cake 181 00:10:49,278 --> 00:10:51,700 He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat 182 00:10:51,774 --> 00:10:56,084 And there's a cute fuzzy thing which hangs down from his hat 183 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,821 I have shamed myself. 184 00:11:08,893 --> 00:11:11,031 -Olé! -All right, everybody, 185 00:11:11,101 --> 00:11:13,851 if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic. 186 00:11:13,917 --> 00:11:16,764 Phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! 187 00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:20,124 Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare. 188 00:11:22,461 --> 00:11:25,657 'Twas the night before Christmas and the prettiest sights 189 00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:29,686 Were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights 190 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,381 ...until they got home. 191 00:11:31,451 --> 00:11:35,762 When they looked at the car door handle, and they found a hook! 192 00:11:37,403 --> 00:11:40,273 Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps! 193 00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:43,129 Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. 194 00:11:43,195 --> 00:11:45,945 Come here, you. 195 00:11:46,011 --> 00:11:48,018 Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you. 196 00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:49,684 What was that? 197 00:11:49,755 --> 00:11:52,407 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again. 198 00:11:52,475 --> 00:11:55,377 No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. 199 00:11:58,010 --> 00:11:58,959 Gingy! 200 00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:07,798 Suzie! 201 00:12:08,665 --> 00:12:11,251 No! No! No! 202 00:12:11,322 --> 00:12:13,744 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 203 00:12:13,818 --> 00:12:16,086 -That's not how it goes. -You weren't there! 204 00:12:16,154 --> 00:12:19,317 All right, everyone, I've had just about enough! 205 00:12:19,385 --> 00:12:23,476 All I wanted was a nice Christmas with my family. 206 00:12:23,545 --> 00:12:27,604 That's exactly why we're all here! Come on, let's finish tellin' my story. 207 00:12:27,673 --> 00:12:32,081 No, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair. 208 00:12:33,241 --> 00:12:35,891 -Hey, what's this? -Donkey, let go of the book. 209 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,854 -Why are you whisperin'? -I'm not kiddin'. Give me the book! 210 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,646 -Heimlich! -Ja? 211 00:12:45,719 --> 00:12:47,444 -No, Heimlich! -Oh, ja! 212 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,054 My eye! 213 00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:05,964 Stop, drop and roll, Shrek! 214 00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:08,079 -Somebody get some water! -I got it! 215 00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:10,834 Don't worry, Shrek, everything is under control! 216 00:13:10,903 --> 00:13:12,463 Oh, boy. 217 00:13:15,352 --> 00:13:17,653 -The tea is ready. -Out! 218 00:13:17,719 --> 00:13:21,646 I want everybody out of my house right now! 219 00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:28,655 Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! 220 00:13:28,726 --> 00:13:33,581 And if you think I'm gonna give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken! 221 00:13:33,653 --> 00:13:36,074 You want to give me a present? Then go away! 222 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,997 -That's all I wanted! -Fine! I'm going! 223 00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:40,371 Good, then go! 224 00:13:40,438 --> 00:13:44,049 You go and have yourself a merry Christmas. 225 00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:47,597 -Ebenezer Shrek! -And a "Bah, humbug" to you too! 226 00:13:51,925 --> 00:13:54,925 -We could come to our house. -We have plenty of schnitzel. 227 00:13:54,997 --> 00:13:57,135 Now maybe we can... 228 00:13:58,229 --> 00:14:01,840 Fiona? Where you going? 229 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:05,356 Shrek, you just kicked everybody out on Christmas. 230 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,795 Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos! 231 00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:10,675 Look, I know it didn't go like you wanted. 232 00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:14,480 What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. 233 00:14:14,546 --> 00:14:17,067 -That was our family. -You call that a family? 234 00:14:17,139 --> 00:14:19,244 That was a natural disaster! 235 00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:22,130 On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. 236 00:14:22,196 --> 00:14:24,169 Yes, it got a little out of hand. 237 00:14:24,242 --> 00:14:27,473 -Fiona, they lit me on fire! -Shrek... 238 00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:32,012 I had everything under control until they showed up and ruined my Christmas! 239 00:14:32,083 --> 00:14:35,246 -Your Christmas? -I mean our Christmas. 240 00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:37,801 For you, and the babies. 241 00:14:37,874 --> 00:14:42,695 Christmas is not just about you or me. Or even the babies. 242 00:14:44,146 --> 00:14:45,869 You just don't get it. 243 00:14:45,937 --> 00:14:50,989 I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. 244 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,031 Fiona, wait. 245 00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:42,277 I don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. 246 00:15:42,351 --> 00:15:44,107 We were tryin' to do what you wanted! 247 00:15:44,175 --> 00:15:46,956 -What're you talking about? -What you said this morning. 248 00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:49,870 You and Shrek wanted to have a big, noisy family Christmas. 249 00:15:49,934 --> 00:15:52,552 I said it was our first Christmas together as a family. 250 00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:54,695 Right. That's me and everybody else. 251 00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:56,521 Then he lost his temper like that. 252 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,786 You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted. 253 00:15:59,854 --> 00:16:03,716 I must agree with the Princess. And you, were no Christmas angel. 254 00:16:03,789 --> 00:16:06,605 -I don't remember askin' you anything! -Donkey. 255 00:16:06,670 --> 00:16:09,451 I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. 256 00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:11,883 -Still, Shrek didn't have to be so... -What? 257 00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:15,592 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? 258 00:16:15,661 --> 00:16:20,483 Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? 259 00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:23,240 So here's the thing. 260 00:16:23,307 --> 00:16:26,886 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. 261 00:16:26,956 --> 00:16:30,633 No, wait. What I meant to say is 262 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:34,562 I know you're just trying to be helpful in your irritating fashion... 263 00:16:34,636 --> 00:16:38,725 -Ay, caramba! -Some people can't help being annoying. 264 00:16:38,795 --> 00:16:41,796 -Shrek! -Look, 265 00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:43,940 I shouldn't have lost my temper. 266 00:16:44,012 --> 00:16:46,630 -Apology accepted. Let's eat. -Wait a minute. 267 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,732 There's somethin' more to this. Come on, what's goin' on? 268 00:16:49,803 --> 00:16:54,276 Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, 269 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:58,340 but I don't even know what Christmas means. 270 00:16:58,411 --> 00:17:01,607 The thing is, this is my first Christmas too. 271 00:17:03,498 --> 00:17:05,920 Hold up, Shrek! You mean that you never had... 272 00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:07,041 -No. -Not even one? 273 00:17:07,114 --> 00:17:08,608 -No! -You mean no chestnuts, 274 00:17:08,681 --> 00:17:10,570 no Santa, no presents, no stockings? 275 00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:12,805 -No nut cakes?! -Donkey! 276 00:17:12,873 --> 00:17:16,102 No, none of that. 277 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:19,464 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. 278 00:17:19,529 --> 00:17:22,564 Ogres don't celebrate anything. 279 00:17:25,224 --> 00:17:27,876 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. 280 00:17:27,945 --> 00:17:30,912 -Come here, gimme a hug! -All right, that's close enough. 281 00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:33,538 OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little 282 00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:36,707 excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe 283 00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:39,809 and everything, and I forgot that it's... 284 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,457 It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek. 285 00:17:43,527 --> 00:17:47,456 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight. 286 00:17:47,527 --> 00:17:49,218 Christmas is all about big fights. 287 00:17:49,288 --> 00:17:52,703 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." 288 00:17:52,776 --> 00:17:54,401 Usually that someone's me. 289 00:17:54,471 --> 00:17:57,188 There is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it. 290 00:17:57,255 --> 00:17:58,685 Ja, with schnitzel! 291 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,614 -And eggnog! -And cheese! 292 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:04,802 -And family. -Yeah. And family. 293 00:18:04,869 --> 00:18:08,928 So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... 294 00:18:08,998 --> 00:18:11,519 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you. 295 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:16,063 ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us. 296 00:18:17,671 --> 00:18:20,604 OK, I guess I deserved that. 297 00:18:20,677 --> 00:18:22,084 Don't push your luck. 298 00:18:23,078 --> 00:18:25,380 They got you good, Shrek! 299 00:18:25,446 --> 00:18:27,901 That wasn't even funny! Who did that? 300 00:18:30,181 --> 00:18:32,767 Well, that's the last of the spare blankets. 301 00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:38,942 Sorry, but this is my spot. I never get the good spots, so I specifically... 302 00:18:40,644 --> 00:18:43,775 So we are pigs, pigs in the blanket, ja? 303 00:18:43,845 --> 00:18:45,154 -Ja. -Ja. 304 00:18:45,221 --> 00:18:47,490 -This is funny then, ja? -Ja, ja. 305 00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:48,702 -This is funny. -Ja. 306 00:18:48,773 --> 00:18:51,391 -Yep, that's a good one. -Good night, everyone. 307 00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:54,275 -It's time for lights out. -We can't go to sleep yet. 308 00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:56,642 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right? 309 00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:57,689 Shrek, yeah! 310 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,188 All right. All right. 311 00:19:02,787 --> 00:19:04,194 Don't need this. 312 00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:05,950 OK. 313 00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:10,622 'Twas the night before Christmas 314 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,829 Not a swamp rat did creep 315 00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:15,681 As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep 316 00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:21,050 Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop 317 00:19:21,122 --> 00:19:24,471 For 'twas sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop 318 00:19:24,546 --> 00:19:27,961 Yet who was arriving to help this lost cause? 319 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:32,605 The foul, the vile and handsome Ogre Claus 320 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:34,102 Hey. How's it goin'? 321 00:19:34,178 --> 00:19:36,830 He looked all around and scratched at his beard 322 00:19:36,899 --> 00:19:38,686 And said... 323 00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:41,022 And said... 324 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:44,438 This place is worse than I thought... feared. 325 00:19:44,513 --> 00:19:47,612 So he grabbed up his belly and screwed up his face 326 00:19:47,681 --> 00:19:48,729 And let loose a... 327 00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:52,951 That transformed the place 328 00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:56,124 With a gleam in his eye his work here was done 329 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:59,324 And then to the babies he gave one by one 330 00:19:59,392 --> 00:20:02,207 A festering bottle of stinky swamp juice 331 00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:05,720 And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose 332 00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,694 Four hundred twenty five degrees, 20 minutes per pound. 333 00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:11,965 Then digging a finger inside of his nose 334 00:20:12,031 --> 00:20:15,907 And giving a nod up the chimney he rose 335 00:20:16,223 --> 00:20:19,933 And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight 336 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:25,237 "Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night!"