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翻译 冰岛豆腐
翻译 黑锤斯特
翻译 青椒
精校 冰岛豆腐
时间轴 紫夏
后期 咖啡·Lee
总监 冰岛豆腐
80年代的时候 我和巴里·戈德堡形影不离 Back in the '80s, it was always me and Barry Goldberg.
然后到了90年代 我们长大了 But then the '90s hit, and we grew up.
我在威廉佩恩教书 I was teaching at William Penn.
巴里在底特律做住院实习医生 Barry was doing his residency in Detroit.
巴里 巴里 Barry? Barry?
超过一年 For over a year,
我们试图维持异地恋 we tried to make it work long-distance.
我们经常聊天 We talked and talked -- a lot.
我们终于决定最好的选择就是分手 And what we finally decided was best was to break up --
也许不是永远 但绝对要暂时分开 maybe not forever, but definitely for now.
我当然一团糟 Of course I was a mess.
但我终于振作了起来 But I finally got myself up and out.
幸运的是 90年代最棒的浪漫喜剧 And fortunately, the best of all the '90s rom-coms,
《独领风骚》刚刚上映 "Clueless," Had just hit the theaters.
我爱乔西 I love Josh.
勇敢魅力智慧的雪儿 And I found inspirations
大大激励了我 from the bold, charming intelligence of Cher.
她的独立意识让我感觉 Her sense of independence made me feel like
我靠自己也能行 I could make it on my own.
于是我决定变得像她一样 So I decided to be just like her,
包括她可爱的着装 including the cute outfits.
不管你信不信 Believe it or not,
我和巴里的分手没有击垮我 my breakup with Barry wasn't getting me down.
我们俩决定分道扬镳 The two of us had decided to go our separate ways
继续做朋友 我准备好 and remain friends, so I was ready
向前看 把巴里留在过去 to move on with my life and put Barry in the past.
我们来谈谈你和巴里 Let's talk about you and Barry.
不敢相信巴里为了他的一个护士而离开了你 I can't believe Barry left you for one of his nurses
跑去了加拿大的巴黎 多伦多 and ran off to Toronto, the Paris of Canada.
是双方共同决定的 It was totally mutual.
而且蒙特利尔才是加拿大的巴黎 And at the very least, Montreal is the Paris of Canada.
我听说的可不是这样 That's not what I heard went down.
传闻戈德堡往她的熊熊里塞了一张纸条 Word is, Goldberg stuck a note in her Build-a-Bear.
用美国最可爱的新兴购物中心 Using America's cuddliest mall novelty
来做他的脏活 to do his dirty work.
太恶心了 Makes me sick.
别烦她了 她是成年女性 她没事 Leave her alone! She's a grown woman. She's fine.
你还好吗 我可以给你做派 亲爱的 Are you fine? I can make you a pie, sweetie.
各位 听我的 分手的当事人 Guys, take it from me -- who was actually there --
我们的分手很正常 it was a totally normal break-up.
能各自回到岗位上去了吗 Now, can we please move on with our day?
莱妮 你在这呢 Aw, Lainey, there you are.
CB和威尔玛需要第三人来组建毕业舞会委员会 CB and Wilma need a third for the prom committee,
我就想 谁比你更适合呢 and I thought, who better than you to help them out?
乐意至极 I'd be happy to.
谢谢你把我当做一个功能健全的人 Thank you for treating me like a fully functioning person.
任何能让你不去想残忍分手的事 Anything to take your mind off of the brutal breakup.
一想到巴里在纳帕的葡萄园上空 And to think Barry crushed your heart
乘坐着热气球 on a beautiful hot-air balloon ride
伤了你的心 over the vineyards of Napa.
我最后再说一次 For the last time --
我其实还挺喜欢你这个版本的 就用这个好了 Oh. I actually like that one. We'll go with that.
我们作为你在地面的朋友 会给你支持 And we, your friends on the ground, are here for you.
大家来团抱 Group hug, everyone.
不要 Oh. No.
校园时代
第二季 第二十一集
那是九几年的5月13日 朱莉出城 It was May 13, 1990-something, and Julie had gone out of town
托付梅勒教练照顾托比 and entrusted Coach Mellor to be totally in charge of Toby.
约翰 看看托比 Hey, John. Look at Toby.
那是我孩子 That's my boy.
不是我孩子 我女友的孩子 Well, not my boy, but my girlfriend's boy.
实际上是她侄子 Well, actually, uh, her nephew
不过是她法定监护人 who she's the legal guardian of.
你是说 "她是法定监护人" You meant "Of whom she is the legal guardian."
别假正经 约翰 Don't be that guy, John.
重点是 朱莉只离开了几天 The point is, Julie's only been gone for a couple days,
我的雄性能量已经传到了托比身上 and already, my alpha energy is rubbing off on Toby.
女生们都被其吸引 And the ladies are clearly drawn to it.
实际上 瑞克 那是道恩 Actually, Rick, that's Dawn,
辅导托比的高年级女生 the senior girl who's tutoring Toby.
她是我高年级生辅导新生项目的成员 She's part of my program where seniors tutor freshmen.
对啊 你的"府新"项目 Oh, yeah, your, uh, "See-Fresh" Program.
是的 "府新"是个我想出来的 Yes, "See-Fresh" Is an extremely clever name
聪明名字 并不是我在设计传单期间 that I came up with and not a typo that...happened
打错了字 while I was designing the flyers.
他好像喜欢道恩 I think he's got a crush on Dawn.
我记得我第一次暗恋 I remember my first crush --
1964年 厄苏拉·波达斯 1964, Ursulga Bordath.
她是奥运会铅球手 拿到了金牌 She was an Olympic shot-putter, won a gold medal.
她投出去的就像是我的心 When she put that shot, it may as well have been my heart.
我本人以前也喜欢用巴特沃斯夫人酱 I was a Mrs. Butterworth guy myself.
甜甜的 美美的 Sweet and shapely.
也许我们最好别告诉他人 Maybe it's best we don't tell anybody else
我们今天谈论的内容 what we've shared here today.
嗯 这样也许最好 Yeah. That may be best.
总之 我要撤了 Anyways, I'm gonna head out.
我突然想吃薄煎饼 I...suddenly have a hankering for pancakes.
教练 你绝对猜不到发生了什么 Hey, Coach! You'll never guess what just happened!
-发生了什么 -道恩邀请我和她去参加毕业舞会 - What happened? - Dawn asked me to go to the prom with her.
太棒了 恭喜 That sounds great, buddy! Congrats!
这太酷了 This is so cool.
我从没想过我会在35岁开始约会 I never thought I'd start dating till I was 35,
但我现在是老玩家了 but I'm a playa now.
就像大金刚一样 It's on like Donkey Kong!
你要去参加毕业舞会了 You're going to prom, baby!
耶 Oh, yeah!
托比 我们一伙人周六晚要去玩激光CS Toby, a bunch of us are going to play laser tag on Saturday night.
我在想你也可以来 I was thinking maybe you could come.
激光CS 嗯 Laser tag? Yeah.
那是男孩玩的游戏 That's a game for boys.
从今天起 我就是男人了 And as of today, I'm a man now.
道恩刚邀请我和她去参加毕业舞会 Dawn just asked me to go to prom with her.
道恩不是很大了吗 Isn't Dawn, like...old?
嗯 17岁 Yep. 17.
再过一年 And in one more year,
她就能带我们去看R级电影了 she'll be able to get us into R-rated movies.
好吧 祝你在毕业舞会上玩得开心 Okay. Well, have fun at prom, I guess.
托比抑制不住他的激动之情 Toby couldn't contain his excitement for prom.
与此同时 威尔玛和CB意识到 Meanwhile, Wilma and CB realized
他们需要让毕业舞会计划变得更有创意 they'd need to get creative with their prom plans.
好了 至于毕业舞会装饰 我从仓库里 Okay, for prom decorations, all I was able to dig out of storage
只能找出一些旧的万圣节彩条 were some old Halloween streamers
以及一张支持杜卡基斯当总统的横幅 and a "Dukakis for President" Banner.
你对莱妮和巴里分手是什么感受 So, how are you doing with all this Lainey and Barry stuff?
你肯定感觉很奇怪 It must be weird for you,
之前你一直对莱妮念念不忘 seeing as how you were pining after Lainey forever,
你和帕洛玛恋爱之后 突然一下 and as soon as you start dating Paloma -- boom.
莱妮小姐又变回单身了 Miss Lainey suddenly is back on the market.
威尔玛 如同迈克尔·杜卡基斯失败的 Wilma, like the failed presidential campaign
总统竞选一般 这事儿已过去了 of Michael Dukakis, that stuff's in the past.
那你是要跟我说你对莱妮没感觉了 So, are you telling me you have no feelings for Lainey?
我现在跟帕洛玛在一起很开心 I am happy with Paloma now.
好了 别提了 行吗 Okay, you know what? Just let it go, please.
你没有明确否认 You didn't say no.
我们过来干嘛呢 Okay, so, what are we doing here?
我来为你展示 I present to you...
空白的毕业舞会画布 our blank prom canvas,
又被称为恶臭顶天的体育馆 A.K.A. the stinky-ass gym.
也许我们可以去除潮湿的气味 We could probably build off the dank smell
选用"低潮的海底世界"的舞会主题 and go with an "Under the Sea at Low Tide" theme.
你知道吗 帕洛玛 我新女友 You know, Paloma, my new girlfriend,
一整个夏天都待在海里 spent the entire summer under the sea
研究鲸鱼迁徙模式 studying whale migration patterns, so --
抱歉 Oh. I'm -- I'm sorry.
我不是要在你面前 I didn't mean to rub my happy relationship
炫耀我快乐的恋情 in your sad face.
没事 我真心为你高兴 It's okay. I'm genuinely happy for you.
你想怎么聊帕洛玛都行 Talk about Paloma all you want.
太好了 因为每件事都能让我想起她 Okay. Thank God. 'Cause literally everything reminds me of her.
她是全天下最好的女朋友 She's just the best.
我都不记得"帕前"的生活是什么样的了 I can't even remember life "BP."
就是遇见帕洛玛之前的生活 That means "Before Paloma."
我的新"女友" 意思是"女..." My new "GF." That means "Girl--"
我们懂 好了 舞会主题 We know. Okay, uh, prom themes.
我们需要一些长的东西来装饰这里的空间 We need something long to cover all this space.
有了 "爱情滑梯" I got it -- "Slip 'N Slide of Love."
我有个旧的可以出借 I've got an older one I'd be okay to lend out.
或者像"情侣隧道"那样的呢 How about something like "Tunnel of Love"?
正常点 人身伤害诉讼也能少点 Which is more normal and will have less personal-injury lawsuits.
等等 有了 真的有了 Wait. I got it. And I really do got it.
"爱之海底隧道" "Chunnel of Love."
什么鬼 是宽敞的通道吗 What the hell's a Chunnel? Like a chubby tunnel?
不 是最近完工的一个工程奇迹 No, it's the recently completed engineering marvel
将英法两国连接起来 that connects England and France.
说到帕洛玛 我快赶不上我俩的 Speaking of Paloma, I'm gonna be late
"开心下午"聚会了 for our "Afternoon delight."
-老天爷 -怎么了 - Good Lord. - ?What?
每天下午 我们会碰面 Every afternoon, we meet up
一起吃美味的冰淇淋 to get a delightful ice cream treat.
看到CB有了女朋友你心里肯定不好受吧 It must be really hard to see CB with a girlfriend,
尤其你和巴里两周前刚分手 especially 'cause if you and Barry had broken up
本来你可以成为他女友的 like two weeks ago, that girlfriend could be you.
得了吧 大家都知道他喜欢我 Oh, please. We all know he was into me.
但是在我看来 我们只是好朋友 But as far as I'm concerned, we're just good friends.
事实上 单身我挺高兴的 Truth is, I'm happy to be single.
我自由了 可以随便撩汉 I am free. I'm out there.
我就是雪儿·克罗歌里的人 I'm basically a Sheryl Crow song.
别把雪儿·克罗扯进来 Don't bring Sheryl Crow into this.
在我想说服威尔玛我没事的时候 While I was trying to convince Wilma that I was A-okay,
梅勒对马上要跟格拉斯科特谈话很激动 Mellor was excited to talk to Glascott A.S.A.P.
约翰 别滚了 我有好消息 John, stop rolling. I got great news.
你知道托比喜欢道恩·弗格森吧 You know how Toby has a crush on Dawn Ferguson?
这猫毛是哪里来的 Where's all this cat hair coming from?
跟你说 她刚才邀请他... Well, get this -- she just asked him --
我好多年没养猫了 I haven't owned a cat in years.
道恩邀请托比去毕业舞会了 Dawn asked Toby to the prom.
什么 What?!
高年级导师邀请低年级被辅导同学 A tutor asking out a tutee?
这违背了"府新"准则 That's against the See-Fresh code of conduct.
这是学习计划 This is a learning program.
又不是蒙特戈湾的 It's not the "Swim-Up Happy Hour"
"上游欢乐时光" at Sandals Montego Bay.
你的准则跟充满睾丸激素的 Well, I guess your little codes are no match
监护人瑞克·梅勒相比 可是没啥用 for the testosterone-laden tutelage of Rick Mellor.
你觉得托比准备好参加毕业舞会了吗 Do you think Toby is ready for prom?
有什么可准备的 What's there to be ready for?
听着保罗·安卡的歌 来段绅士慢舞 Some respectfully spaced slow dancing to Paul Anka?
加了七喜的水果酒让你鼻子痒痒 Fruit punch with enough 7-Up to tickle your nose?
拿着两人份的冰淇淋圣代 Ending the night at the malt shop
这一天在酒铺里结束 with an ice cream sundae for two?
瑞克 你刚描述的 Rick, the Norman Rockwell world
诺曼·洛克威尔的世界早已不在了 you just described is long gone.
这些日子 毕业舞会就像是54俱乐部 These days, proms are like Studio 54.
有预热派对 豪华轿车接送 There are pre-parties and limo rides
还有续摊派对 and after parties.
之后再去大使套房酒店开房 And then there's a room at the Embassy Suites.
托比还太小 不能做这些事 Well, Toby's not mature enough for any of that.
上周在动物园 Just last week, he blushed
一只猩猩亲了他一口他都脸红 when a chimp blew a kiss at him at the zoo.
深有同感 Been there.
在我的看护下不能出这些事 Well, this can't happen on my watch.
朱莉把她的青葱小侄子交给我照顾 Julie left me with her innocent little boy,
我可不能让他变成迷你唐·约翰逊 and I can't let him turn into a mini Don Johnson!
好了 我们不要过早下结论 Okay, let's not jump to conclusions.
抱歉 瑞克 I'm sorry, Rick.
猫毛不仅在我外套袖子上 Not only is there cat hair on the outside of my sleeve,
袖子里也有猫毛 there's cat hair in my sleeve.
猫是怎么进你袖子的 How does a cat get in your sleeve?!
在梅勒担心托比是否准备好参加舞会时 While Mellor was worried if Toby was ready for prom,
威尔玛和我正为学生们准备一个完美夜晚 Wilma and I were readying the school for the perfect night.
希望当孩子们走过"爱之海底隧道"时 I hope when the kids ride through our "Chunnel of Love,"
会激励他们学习更多工程学内容 it inspires them to learn more about engineering.
你知道他们只会在那里进行尴尬的互摸 You know they're just gonna use it for awkward teen groping.
解剖学也是科学 我也认 Anatomy. Still science. I'll take it.
你们好 Oh, hey, guys.
你好 帕洛玛 CB的新女朋友 Oh, hey, Paloma, CB's new girlfriend.
你见到他了吗 Have you seen him?
没 他去餐厅了 因为面包用完了 No, he went to Panera because we ran out of bread
不够为法国方搭建"长棍拱桥"了 for our "Arc de Baguettes" for the French side.
好 跟他说 Oh. Okay. Well, tell him
我有重大消息想找他聊聊 I want to talk to him. I have some big news.
重大消息啊 你买房了 买车了 Ooh. Big news. Did you buy a house? New car?
怀孕了 You pregnant?
只是消息 Only with information.
奇怪 Weird.
好 我们会转告他 Okay. We'll let him know.
是非常重大的消息 It's really big news.
你刚才说的时候我们就知道了 We got that from when you said it.
感觉你真的很想跟人聊聊这事 Sounds like you really want to talk to someone about this.
你想说的话 我们很愿意听 Yeah, we're all ears, if you want to share.
好吧 Okay.
我接到一个非常好的机会 So, I have this amazing opportunity
可以去巴西雨林 to go to the Brazilian rainforest
帮助保护濒危的树蛙 to help protect endangered tree frogs.
我唯一去过的雨林 The only rainforest I've ever gone to
就是雨林餐厅 is the Rainforest Cafe.
听起来像是一生难得的机会 Sounds like the chance of a lifetime.
对 但是要去一整个夏天 It is, but I'd be gone the whole summer.
所以我有点犹豫 That's why I'm on the fence.
我最近刚找回自我 Take it from someone who
正在做一个坚强独立的女性 recently found herself as an independent woman.
你得为自己做选择 You got to do what's best for you.
那CB怎么办 But what about CB?
不用担心CB You don't need to worry about CB.
他总是跟我说 他有多喜欢你的爱好 He's always telling me how much he loves your passion.
聊你的爱好就是他的热情所在 Talking about your passion is his passion.
你不能夺走这一点 You can't take that away from him.
但是你应该最清楚 But you, of all people, know how hard
异地恋最难了 the long-distance thing is.
你们会异地多久 三个月吗 How long will you be long-distance for -- three months?
我还真没这么想 I didn't think of it that way.
谢谢你 莱妮 Thanks, Lainey!
那我就放心地去雨林啦 I guess I'm going to the rainforest!
没有自来水的村庄 我来了 Village with no plumbing, here I come.
没有自来水 那么惨 No plumbing? Ew!
不过你加油 姐妹 Eh -- But go get 'em, tiger.
天哪 Damn.
这简直是艾瑞卡·凯恩级别的 That was some Erica Kane-level
肥皂剧式狗血反转 soap-opera stuff right there!
天哪 你别瞎想了 Good God, woman! Let it go!
我只是让帕洛玛这个夏天去追寻梦想 I just told Paloma to spend the summer living her frickin' dream.
万一她被一只蚊子咬了 Until she gets bit by a mosquito
或者被一只有狂犬病的猴子咬到脸 or gets her face eaten off by a rabid monkey.
到时候CB就是你的了 Then CB's all yours.
太荒唐了 That's insane!
我只是让帕洛玛做一个独立女性 I just encouraged Paloma to be an independent woman.
一个没有脸的独立女性 An independent woman with no face.
梅勒得知现代舞会里的隐患后感到很震惊 Mellor was shocked to find out about the pitfalls of modern proms,
于是他找了格拉斯科特帮忙 so he enlisted Glascott
一起搞清楚托比会遇到什么情况 to find out just what was in store for Toby.
怎么样 姐妹们 期待舞会吗 What's happening, girls? Excited for the prom?
我个人是非常期待爱之海底隧道 I know I'm pretty psyched about the Chunnel of Love.
大概吧 Yeah, I-I guess.
关于配饰 你们是怎么想的 So, accessory wise, what are you guys thinking --
贝雷帽还是卫兵帽 berets or Beefeater hats?
我们不会用太多海底隧道主题的东西 Oh, we're probably not doing anything Chunnel-related.
对 你可不想把那么好看的头发遮起来 Yeah, you don't wanna cover up those great hairdos.
那你们怎么想的 So, what are you thinking?
是完全盘起来 还是一半一半 Uh, you wanna go with an updo or half up, half down?
蝴蝶发夹吗 Butterfly clips?
是脏辫吗 Ooh! Spiky twists?
看来有人熟读了雅虎通上的推送 Someone read the YM prom issue.
当然啦 姐妹 You know I did, girlfriend.
对了 你们有没有想好 And, hey, is there a post-prom party spot
派对结束后去哪里玩呢 you guys plan on being all up in?
约翰 Hey, John!
你是让我跟你讲讲单核细胞增多症 You wanted me to talk about mononucleosis
还有这对接吻的年轻人会有什么影响吗 and the toll it takes on teens that kiss?
天哪 你们可别从舞会搭档身上 Gosh, you kids don't want to catch that
传染到这个病 from your prom dates, do you?
别担心 我不会亲我的舞伴 Don't worry. I won't be kissing my prom date anytime soon.
是吗 为什么 Really? Why's that?
没什么 Oh. Nothing.
别这样 道恩 我现在不是校长 Come on, Dawn! Look, I am not your principal.
我现在就是妇女之友 Right now, I'm just another gal pal.
来八卦一下 Let's dish!
好吧 那我说 Okay. I guess.
我的舞伴 Well, uh, my date to prom
是一个高一的小孩 他人很好 is this freshman kid, and he's really sweet,
但我只是拿他当挡箭牌 因为我父母 but I'm just using him as a cover because my parents --
不是很喜欢我真正的男朋友 罗比 they don't like my real boyfriend, Robbie.
罗比·麦克法登 他眼看着就是个少年犯 Robbie McFadden? He's a budding delinquent.
如果我父母看到这个托比 But when my parents see me with this Toby kid,
就会让我去参加舞会 they'll let me go to prom,
到时候我就甩下他 去找罗比见面 where I can just ditch him and meet up with Robbie.
所以你对托比没有那个意思 So, you don't like Toby that way?
他知道吗 Does he know that?
他应该知道吧 Well, he's gotta. Right?
他就像个小孩子 而我 I mean, he's, like, a little kid and --
就这么说吧 上周 Well, let's just say that last week,
有人把我当成了房产经纪人 somebody mistook me for a real estate agent.
要是托比去参加舞会 If Toby goes to that prom,
他那松鼠般的小心灵会破碎 he's gonna have his little squirrel heart broken.
如果你告诉他 他不去 也会心碎 And if you tell him and he doesn't go, still broken.
不管怎么样 都是松鼠心碎的结果 Either option, same squirrel heart result.
除非我能想到第三个选择 Unless I can come up with a third option.
梅勒在努力想解决方案时 While Mellor cooked up an alternate plan,
我发现我打乱了CB的计划 I was finding out how I'd affected CB's plans.
威尔玛希望海底隧道的墙壁 Wilma wants a romantic shade of gray
用浪漫的灰色 所以我选出了 for the Chunnel walls, so I've narrowed it down
"烟熏炭灰"和"碧亚瑟发色" to "Smoky charcoal" Or "Bea Arthur's hair."
你扔球的样子好像压力很大 Wow. That's some serious stress-juggling going on there.
-你还好吗 朋友 -不太好 - You okay, pal? - ?Not really.
我的心脏好像被拽离了身体 I feel like my heart was ripped out of my body
因为我超级火辣漂亮的女朋友 'cause my super smokin'-hot girlfriend
要撇下我去拯救树蛙了 is ditching me to save some tree frogs.
你是说帕洛玛吗 We're talking about Paloma?
她确实很漂亮 但也别太夸张了 'Cause she's very attractive, but let's not get crazy.
我觉得你好像抓错重点了 Okay. I think you latched onto the less important part.
帕洛玛要离开我了 Paloma is leaving me.
她整个夏天都要去巴西 She's going to Brazil for the entire summer.
我知道 I know.
因为你刚才告诉了我 我才知道的 'Cause you just told me, so now I know.
好难受 我真的很喜欢她 It sucks. I really liked her. Seriously.
她特别漂亮 She's so hot.
对 传统意义上她是挺好看的 Yes, she's very traditionally attractive.
她总是聊她的"爱好" All she was talking about was her "Passion,"
我本来希望我是她的爱好 and I was hoping maybe I was her passion.
不过是三个月 Well, it's just three months.
有人陪伴的感觉真好 It was just nice to have someone, you know?
我以为我有机会 但是现在没了 And I really thought I'd had a shot, but now it's gone.
天哪 你的情绪好低落 Ooh. Those are some "E-motions."
让我觉得好内疚 Making me feel all guilty...
居然让你来选颜色 for asking you to weigh in on the paint swatches.
我就不烦你了 I'll just take this off your plate.
莱妮 Hey, Lainey.
你是个好朋友 You're a really good friend.
嗯 Yeah.
我感到很内疚 破坏了CB追求帕洛玛的机会 I felt super guilty for messing up CB's chances with Paloma,
但我不确定该怎么做 but I wasn't sure what to do about it.
于是我决定去散步 理清思绪 So I decided to go for a walk to clear my mind
但愿能感觉不那么无能 and hopefully feel a little less clueless.
可然后我又想 我为什么要感到内疚 But then I thought, "Why should I feel guilty?"
我是在鼓励帕洛玛做一个独立女性 I was encouraging Paloma to be an independent woman.
那有什么不对的 What was so wrong with --
不知道他们有没有我的码 Ooh! I wonder if they have that in my size.
根本不是威尔玛说的那样 It was totally not what Wilma was saying.
我并没有想破坏CB的感情 I wasn't trying to sabotage CB's relationship.
他只是我的同事 He was just a guy I worked with.
没错 他成了我的朋友 I mean, sure, he'd become my friend...
一个总是逗我笑 让我感觉良好的朋友 ...A friend who always made me laugh and feel good.
但为什么我要为此烦恼 But why was I buggin' about this?
这是CB This was, like, CB.
好吧 我得承认他有点帅 Okay, okay, I had to admit he was kinda cute,
也许他的部分疯狂舞步有点好玩 and maybe some of his crazy dance moves were kinda fun.
但他值得一个欣赏他的人 But he deserved someone who appreciated him,
完全懂他的人 who really got him, ya know?
然后我突然醒悟 Then, suddenly, it hit me.
我的天 Oh, my God!
我喜欢CB I like CB!
我完全为CB着迷 I was totally, crazy, head over heels for CB!
天呐 Oh, boy.
在我终于看清了实际情况的时候 As I was hit with a huge reality check,
格拉斯科特和托比试图把托比从他的现实里拯救出来 Glascott and Mellor were trying to save Toby from his reality.
托比 你不能参加毕业舞会 Toby, you can't go to prom
因为你被停学了 because you're suspended from school.
为什么 Why?!
我不知道 Um...I don't know?
不是吧 约翰 Seriously, John?
抱歉 瑞克 I'm sorry, Rick.
我没想到他会多此一问 I didn't think he'd have a follow-up question.
怎么了 What's going on?
似乎你们俩不想让我去毕业舞会 It seems like you two don't want me going to prom.
不 托比 坐下 N-- T-Toby, sit down for a second.
我得跟你说件事 W-- I got to tell you something.
我们不想伤害你的感受 We were trying not to hurt your feelings,
但道恩并不像你想的那样喜欢你 but Dawn doesn't like you the way you think she does.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
她只是需要一个人来忽悠她父母 She just needed some guy to fool her parents
这样她就能参加毕业舞会了 so she can go to prom.
然后当她到了那以后 她就会 And then when she got there, she was...
甩掉你 去找她男友 gonna ditch you for her boyfriend.
罗比·麦克法登 Robbie McFadden.
所以我不是她男友 So I'm not her boyfriend.
她只是在利用我 She was just using me.
抱歉 小T Sorry, T-Man.
天 我真蠢 God, I'm so stupid.
我为什么会觉得道恩这样的女生会喜欢我 Why would I think a girl like Dawn would ever like me?
可怜的托比 Ahh, poor Toby.
罗比·麦克法登曾在我的抽屉里放了一只白鼬 You know, Robbie McFadden put a ferret in my desk drawer once.
等等 原来那些毛就是从那来的 Wait. That's where all that hair is coming from!
托比因为道恩的事很伤心 Toby was upset over the news about Dawn,
但我迫不及待要告诉威尔玛我关于CB的顿悟 but I was psyched to tell Wilma about my CB epiphany.
威尔玛 Wilma!
你说得对 我和CB注定要在一起 You were right. CB and I are meant to be together.
我就知道 Ooh, I knew it!
我说准了 你否认了 I was so right, and you denied it.
但威尔玛知道 威尔玛知道 But Wilma knew. Mm-hmm. Wilma knew.
好了 别得意忘形了 Alright, enough with the gloating.
但我不知道该怎么做 But I don't know what to do about it
因为 帕洛玛的事 'cause, you know, the whole Paloma thing.
如果我告诉你CB对你还有感觉呢 Well, what if I told you CB still has feelings for you?
他跟你说的吗 Did he tell you that?
没有 No.
是的 But...yes.
-什么 -他没有说 - Huh? - ?He didn't say it,
但他也没有不说 but he didn't not say it.
都顺理成章了 好的 It's all lining up. Okay.
巴里和我分手 我喜欢CB Barry and I broke it off. I like CB.
CB女友要去巴西 CB's girlfriend is going to Brazil.
CB并不不喜欢我 CB still doesn't necessarily not like me.
-这是命运 -还有威尔玛 - It's fate. - ?And Wilma.
现在唯一剩下的事就是告诉CB我的感受了 Now the only thing left to do is tell CB how I feel.
-可是该什么时候呢 -现在 - But when? - ?Now.
不 No.
要 他来了 Yes. Here he comes.
-什么 -拜拜 - What? - ?Bye-bye.
莱妮 我能跟你谈谈吗 Hey, Lainey, can I talk to you for a sec?
-嗯 我得跟你说件事 -我得跟你说件事 - Yeah. I need to tell you something. - I gotta tell you something.
我先说 ?Me first.
不 我先 这很重要 No, me first. It's -- It's really important.
帕洛玛离开的事 Um, this whole Paloma leaving thing --
让我开始考虑爱情和命运 it really got me thinking about love and fate.
我也是 Me too.
异地恋很差劲 Long-distance relationships suck.
最糟糕了 They're the worst.
所以我在想 And that's why I was thinking
帕洛玛离开是个征兆 Paloma leaving is a sign.
一个大大的征兆 A big ol' sign.
暗示我该去做我害怕做的事 A sign for me to just do what I was afraid to do.
别怕 Don't be afraid.
去追寻我想要的 And to just really go after what I want.
上 布朗先生 Go, Mr. Brown.
所以我想要的是 So, what I want is...
和我女友去亚马逊旅游 ...A super rad trip to the Amazon with my girlfriend.
-什么 -是的 - Wait. What? - ?Yeah.
我夏天要和我宝贝帕洛玛去度假 I'm gonna take the summer va-cay with my bay-bay, Palo-may.
你刚准备给我说什么 What was it that you were gonna tell me?
油漆 The paint.
雪曼·威廉姆斯用完了碧·亚瑟头发的颜色 Sherman Williams just ran out of "Bea Arthur's Hair" Color,
所以现在我们打算用灰色 so now we're going with...gray.
真可惜 Oh, that's a bummer.
嗯 不过 Uh, yeah, but...
你不能总是得偿所愿 you can't always get what you want.
我决定CB和帕洛玛一起去巴西 I decided that CB heading to Brazil with Paloma
是最好的选择 was for the best.
我的生活已经够糟了 何必再添烦心事呢 Why screw up my life even more than it is now?
你怎么能不告诉CB你的感觉 How could you not tell CB how you feel?
我还没来得及说 他就做了决定 Before I could, he made his decision.
他要去巴西 He's going to Brazil.
不 是你让他去巴西的 No, you're letting him go to Brazil.
我这么辛苦 不能这样被你搞砸 And I've worked too hard to let you this up.
我该怎么办 What am I supposed to do?
今晚就告诉他你的感觉 Do not let him leave this gym tonight
否则别让他离开体育馆 without telling him how you feel.
不可能 我现在根本没法面对他 Well, that's not gonna happen. I can't even face him right now.
我要确保埃菲尔铁塔不会倒 I'm gonna go make sure the Eiffel Tower doesn't fall over.
我没有听你的 把它用螺栓固定住 I did not bolt it down, like you told me to.
我是想要避开CB I was trying to steer clear of CB,
而威尔玛要让我直面他 but Wilma was gonna make me face him head-on.
注意了 学生们 Um...a-attention, students!
我知道你们都迫不及待体验爱之海底隧道了 Uh, I know you're all itching for your chance to Chunnel,
但因为保险原因 我们必须先在成人身上测验 but since insurance won't let us send children through
然后才能放小孩上去 without it being tested on adults first,
我想派出我的工程师伙伴 I'd like to send in my fellow engineers,
刘易斯老师和CB Ms. Lewis and CB!
不行 我很忙 Um, no. I'm clearly very busy.
拜托 莱妮 会很好玩的 Oh, come on, Lainey. It'll be fun.
好吧 Okay. Fine.
手和脚都别拿出来 Keep your hands and feet inside,
还有注意头 因为你懂的 and also watch your head, 'cause, you know,
你们比小孩高 you're taller than the kids,
可能会有指甲伸出来 and there might be some nails sticking through.
指甲 Nails?
一路顺风 Have a good ride.
阿托 Hey, Tobester.
我没心情聊天 Not in the mood to talk.
好吧 Well...
如果能安慰到你的话 我了解你的感受 if it's any consolation, I know what you're going through.
怎么了解 How?
我以前也不是你面前的 I wasn't always the rough-hewn Greek God
这个粗犷希腊神 you see before you.
我像你这么大的时候 我又瘦又笨 When I was your age, I was gangly and awkward.
我像你一样弱小 I was a tiny, little wisp, just like you.
你说这些有什么用 Not helping.
我完全不会撩女生 I had absolutely no moves with girls whatsoever.
我总是被抛在一边 好像我不重要似的 I was constantly being cast aside, like I didn't matter.
你想说什么 Where is this going?
我在你身上看到了我的影子 I see myself in you.
我明白了 And I learned that
不管你在追求女生的路上"三振出局"多少回 for all the times you strike out with a girl,
最终 你总会打出全垒打 eventually, you hit a home run
你会遇到一个也喜欢你的人 and you meet somebody who likes you back.
万一我是那个不停"三振出局"的人呢 What if I'm the guy that keeps striking out?
在大联赛里 三振出局最多的人 In the big leagues, the guys that strike out the most
同时也是打出最多全垒打的人 are also the guys that hit the most home runs.
因为他们不停击打 Because they keep on swinging.
谢谢 教练 Thanks, Coach.
托比 你在这干什么 Toby. What are you doing here?
你不该去毕业舞会吗 Shouldn't you be at prom?
不 No.
我是来向你道歉的 I came here to tell you I'm sorry.
我不该像我之前那样对你 I shouldn't have treated you how I did.
这才是我想来的地方 This is where I want to be.
接受你的道歉 Apology accepted.
你看上去不错 就像兔八哥去剧院的时候 You look good, like when Bugs Bunny goes to the opera.
谢谢 我模仿的就是它的造型 Thanks. That's what I was going for.
这毕业舞会很怪 是吧 It's a pretty weird prom, huh?
嗯 Yeah.
我们真该 We really should've gone
选择"海底世界"或者正常点的主题 with "Under the Sea" Or something normal.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
嗯 我很好 Yeah. Fine.
非常好 Totally fine.
我不觉得 I don't think you are.
我知道我们老是在说我和帕洛玛 I know we've been talking about me and Paloma so much,
我一直没问你 你和巴里分手 I haven't really checked in to see how you're doing
对你有何影响 with your Barry breakup, so...
不 跟那事无关 No, it's not that.
那是什么 Then what is it?
拜托 你可以告诉我任何事 莱妮 Come on. You can tell me anything, Lainey.
到底怎么了 What's -- What's going on?
别去 Don't go.
去巴西 To Brazil.
为什么 Why not?
因为我想要你留下 Because I want you to stay.
给我个留下来的理由 Give me a reason to stay.
你们的海底隧道之旅怎么样 How was your Chunnel ride?
冒险有时会很可怕 Taking big chances can be scary.
你并不总是知道会怎样收场 You don't always know how it's going to work out.
但那不代表你不该尝试 But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
因为生活难以预料 Because life can be unpredictable.
你可能从一个地方开始 You can start off in one place
然后落到一个完全不同的地方 and wind up somewhere totally different.
你也不知道接下来该怎么办 And you're not exactly sure what to do next.
你好奇未来会怎样 You're left wondering what the future will hold.
不过迫不及待想要知道 But excited to find out.
我们来玩真人CS吧 Let's play laser tag!
你感觉幸运吗 混蛋 Do you feel lucky, punk?
再见 Hasta la vista,baby.
在跟我说话吗 You talkin' to me?
你玩过轮盘赌吗 永远押梅勒 You ever play roulette? Always bet on Mellor.
你是否在苍白的月光下与恶魔共舞过 You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
跟我的朋友打声招呼 Say hello to my little friend!
滚下我的飞机 Get off my plane!
我在矩阵里 I'm in the Matrix!
献给所有现实生活中威廉佩恩学院的老师
约翰校长
梅勒教练
莉茲·弗莱明
苏珊·西罗门
厄尔·波尔
格兰杰先生
我们想感谢所有的老师 And we want to thank all of the teachers out there.
你们是真正的英雄 You guys are the true heroes...
比以往更甚 Now more than ever.
谢谢你们 So thank you.