tonight we honor a self-made millionaire
he started with nothing worked hard and
made a fortune
that man is Fred Trump Donald's dad
Donald is very happy with his lovely
wife insert name here Donald you've got
a great sense of humor you've been so
happy to embarrass yourself on Saturday
Night Live in the casino business when
Trump bangs a supermodel he closes his
eyes and imagines he's jerking off
analysts say he wants to run for
president and move on into the White
House why not it wouldn't be the first
time you pushed a black family out of
their home you've put up more worthless
hotels than an autistic kid playing
Monopoly and Donald as long as I have
you here it's pronounced huge not huge
and here's another one it's pronounced I
am fucking delusional not I am running
for president
I've seen pictures of your house
everything in your house is gold
who the fuck decorate your house Flavor
Flav's dentist McDonald I'm not even
sure if you're aware of this but the
only difference between you and Michael
Douglas from the movie Wall Street is
that no one's gonna be sad when you get
cancer Donald Trump is not only one of
my oldest dearest friends
he's also an American success story when
he graduated college he put his shoulder
to the wheel nose to the grindstone
borrowed six billion dollars from his
father and started a career you've ran
more models lives than bulimia you've
disappointed more women than Sex in the
City to Donald Trump without a doubt
you're a New York landmark which means
it's only a matter of time until you
bulldoze yourself to build some gaudy
tacky monstrosity and put your name on
it
please welcome the second worst tragedy
ever to hit New York City
ladies and gentlemen Donald J Trump
Donald doesn't drive you crazy that
you'll never build anything as high as
me and Snoop right now
and