♪ ♪
Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE
Hm.
Hello, Ros.
How's that novel you're working on?
It's okay, if you like scrumpled pieces of paper in a bin.
You just haven't found your story yet.
What's this one about?
[sighs] Um...
Oh, kids, magic...
Wishes that cause trouble.
Sounds a bit young.
Oh, no one's too old for wishes.
Let's go, monkey.
Oh, no, no. No charge.
Thank you.
[bell rings]
Is that gel in your hair?
Come on, we're in a rush. Why?
- It looks weird. - [groans]
- How weird? - Really weird.
[kids cheering]
[groans]
There you are!
You are coming with me, young lady.
- I'm busy. - Busy?
- [kids laughing] - This is not busy.
I'm making friends.
You said I should make friends, right?
Friends? This is not what a friend looks like.
This... this is a mugshot on the six o'clock news.
You're lucky I don't call the cops.
Go ahead. Any luck, I'll get deported.
♪ ♪
[door opens]
[David] Robbie...
I thought I asked you to pack!
[sighs] What good is that?
What are you thinking about wearing for underpants?
Because those games cartridges are not gonna supply adequate coverage.
Come on, bit of action, please!
I just don't know what's wrong with you, Smash.
I've got a good mind not to take you on this vacation at all.
So don't. Take me somewhere good.
- Like back home. - We are home.
This sucky little country? Have you seen what they eat?
Mushy peas. They eat mushy peas, Mom.
[phone ringing]
And they drive on the left!
- [screaming] - [horn honking]
Oh, my gosh, you almost killed us!
You're gonna absolutely love this place, guys, I promise.
- Is there a phone signal? - I hope not.
Imagine that, Robbie? All that peace and tranquility.
Romping in the dunes.
And there's a... there's a bit of a surprise.
- Is there Wi-Fi? - No, there's no Wi-Fi.
- Is that the surprise? - No.
- It isn't a very good surprise. - Well, it's not the surprise.
What if mum wants to phone us? What if she's having a crisis?
Mummy's a big girl, she can look after herself.
Robbie, if you play that thing all the way, you're gonna be sick.
♪ ♪
See? I've been packed for weeks.
I did mention we're going to the British coast, right?
You are, maybe.
This is my luggage for the Seychelles,
where I'm moving soon as dad makes the call.
Smash...
Smash, I don't think your dad is...
Smash! Smash!
Hey, Maudie!
- You wanna fly? - Yeah! Fly!
[squeals]
["Light It Up Remix feat. Nyla & Fuse ODG" by Major Lazer playing]
- What is this? - [David] This is...
It's just some sounds I'm getting in to.
Some new ones. Gotta, uh...
They're quite cool, these guys, actually. They're a...
um... band.
What do you think the surprise is gonna be?
- [whispers] Nothing good. - What if it's Mum?
What if they're getting back together? It'd be like before.
Long silences and emotional repression?
Shh. Before that, when it was all all right.
["Light it Up Remix" continues playing]
There's white sand beaches in the Seychelles, and flamingos.
And probably tension, and civil unrest.
There's no unrest in the Seychelles.
[scoffs] Your father's there, give them time.
- [phone ringing] - [ringing stops]
What is this?
[scoffs] Oh, no, you have got to be kidding me?
What? I can cook.
Well, I'm a mom, aren't I?
Moms are supposed to cook.
I don't wanna get poisoned.
[all laughing]
- [Smash] You can't cook! - You'll see.
You can't cook!
♪ ♪
[birds squawking]
[exhales] So... what do you think?
I feel sick.
Just keep calm, deep breaths.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
- It's coming out. - Well, try to keep it in.
- There you go, darling. - Thanks.
[David] Deep breaths.
[door opens]
[horn honking]
Mum!
Who are they?
[exhales]
Let's go inside.
Uh...
Maudie, Smash, this is David.
Guys, I'd like you to meet Alice.
You should know your mum talks about you girls all the time.
Oh, what a coincidence.
She doesn't talk about you at all.
Why are you holding hands?
Well, um...
We have something to tell you.
[groans] I feel sick.
[Alice] Ros, Robbie...
Your dad and I, well, um...
We've been, well, we've been, um...
We've been seeing each other.
[groans] That is revolting!
- Hey, Smash. - Can we go home, please?
Wait, when you say "seeing each other,"
you mean seeing each other?
Look, this holiday's a great opportunity for everyone to get to know each other.
Come on. What do you say?
[retches]
[spitting]
Great going, Mom.
You ruined my life. Again.
I'm going to my room.
[Alice] Okay. Let's go inside...
But... but what about Mum?
Ros, Mum's not...
Hey!
That's my room! I was here first!
[Smash] Are you kidding me? It's my room!
I said get out!
[Smash] Stop it! It's my room now!
[Ros] I was here first!
- [Smash] Stop it, go away! - It's my room!
[door slams]
This is my half. Stay out.
Who brings books on a holiday?
- People who can read. - People with no lives.
[chuckles] Look at these losers.
Get off that.
[sighs]
Hey...
Look, we're gonna make it work, for all of them.
Yes, we are.
- [groans] Is that...? - Yes.
Oh! [sighs]
[Smash] Get off of me!
- [girls yelping] - [both sighing]
- You get off of me! - Stop it!
- [screaming] - [David] Hey!
- Both of you, calm down. - She started it!
- Smash, you're just impossible.
I don't wanna be here!
I don't want to be here!
Right! I have an idea.
Why don't we all go... for a picnic?
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
This place is gross.
[Alice sighs] Smash, try to be nice.
How? There's all this gross stuff on my shoe.
Tell you what, why don't we play a game?
I spy with my little eye,
something beginning with W.
- Weirdo. - [laughing]
Maudie, David is not a weirdo.
- Oh. - Hello!
You must be the new tenants over at the cottage.
You must be Mr. Trent from the, uh...
The mansion? Yes, that's right, I live in a mansion.
This is all part of my estate.
This is, um, quite some backyard you got here.
Oh, I'm sorry, I can't quite understand what you're saying.
Oh! [chuckles]
- Alice is American. - Ah! You're an American.
For a moment I thought you had a speech impediment.
And you've got... four children!
You have been busy, haven't you?
[chuckles] Oh, no. They're not all of our...
No, we're still getting to know each other.
- As if we have a choice. - [Alice] Smash, please.
And this is Alice's daughter.
Oh, and for some reason you've called her Smash.
How delightful. Who's the rest of the crew?
Crash, Bang and Wallop?
Oh, my...
Well, that is extraordinary.
You...
You, don't move.
[camera beeps, clicks]
Brilliant.
- Oh! And one of the rest of you. - [camera clicks]
Well, better be getting back to the old mansion.
Do let me know if you need, uh...
- Anything? - Yeah.
That would go there as a noun, wouldn't it?
Anything. Anything. Anything.
He seems like a very interesting fellow.
Shall we? W.
- Anyone? - Water?
Very good.
[videogame noises]
Why do you call her Smash?
Her real name's Samantha.
["Let's Ride" by Ground Up playing on phone]
Excuse me.
- [music stops] - Hey.
[videogame noises]
Hey! Give it back!
- You want it? - [Alice] Smash.
Hey! Give that back now, Samantha!
- Don't call me that. - Give me that back!
Give it back!
[Robbie yells]
Give it back!
♪ ♪
- [yelps] - [Ros] Smash?
Smash, are you all right?!
- Smash? - It's a tunnel.
- Where does it go? - Away from you.
We should tell someone.
She... she might get hurt.
- She's got my game. - Robbie!
Robbie, come back!
- Wait for me! - Maudie, no. Come back.
Oh...
♪ ♪
Maudie!
Maudie! Maudie, come back! [grunts]
[Robbie] Give it!
- [Smash] Poor little Robbie. - Give it!
[Smash and Robbie indistinct]
Robbie, be careful, just...
- It's dangerous! - You wanna see dangerous?
[Ros] Smash, come down!
You're frightening Maudie!
Hey, Robbie Hood. Fetch. [laughs]
[Ros] Smash!
Come on, kid. What you scared of?
Fairy?
[gasps, grunts]
[gasps]
It's got my shoe! It's got my shoe!
Oh, it's got my shoe!
[gasps]
[yelps]
Run, Maudie! Run to the rocks!
Maudie, come here, come here, come here.
♪ ♪
[gasps]
No!
[grunts]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[grunting]
Here.
[grunts] It's coming!
[grunting]
Hmm?
What the...?
I can hit it! Shall I hit it?!
- No! Hit her, she's hurting me! - [gasps]
Did it just speak?
Speak? That was angry shouting.
If I was gonna speak, I would have said something like,
"Oh! What's that?!"
[grunting]
Fine, you got me. What do you want?
My sister's shoe.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You stole it right off her foot.
Anything that touches this beach is an offering to the Psammead.
- Psammead? - Yes, hello.
I'll take most offerings, I'm not fussy.
I know this. This is from my book, Five Children and It.
The kids, they find this thing and it gives them wishes.
One a day, but nothing longer than a sentence.
But you don't want to wish.
They never work out.
There's consequences.
Something unfortunate happens,
you blame me, I get a bad name.
Wishes are bad news.
I wish I was the best climber in the world.
[inhales deeply, grunting]
[exhales]
[farting]
[grunts]
Was that it?
What do you mean, "was that it?"
I nearly burst!
So, we make a wish and you, what, make a fart?
Magic isn't all twinkly lights and stardust, you know.
Some of us have to work with enchanted stomach gasses.
[burps] Now, if you'll excuse me.
Wait! Don't go.
Oh, yeah, we wanna wish for more farts.
I'm sorry,
did I make the granting of your heart's desire look easy?
Because it isn't! It's extremely tiring!
- And stinky. - Hmm...
If you want a dead Psammead on your hands,
go ahead, ask for two wishes.
Until then, one a day is the best I can do.
Come back tomorrow, if you survive this one.
♪ ♪
[grunts]
I want my fairy.
[gasps]
Aww...
Look, it works!
Robbie, be careful!
[Smash] Hey! Whoa!
Robbie!
These wishes, they can... There's a catch, I know there is.
Higher! Faster!
Maybe we should go and look for them.
Maybe we should stay here and...
[moans]
No, I think we should look for them.
[sighs] I guess that would be
- the responsible thing to do. - Mmm.
- [phone ringing] - Ooh. Got bars.
Wait one second.
- Hello? - [chuckles]
No, it's fine. Shoot.
What? Hello?
Can you hear me? Yes!
Hey, Ros, are you enjoying the sea air?
Can't talk. Book.
Well, it's nice to see you running about a bit.
[Ros] Robbie!
Robbie, get down! The wish ends at sunset!
[grunting]
Faster!
Higher!
More dangerous!
[birds squawking]
[whimpers]
[gasps]
Robbie, hang on!
♪ ♪
Grab the rope!
[grunting]
♪ ♪
[grunts]
Oh, my Switch!
[mutters]
[videogame noises]
Come on, Maudie.
- [groans] - Are you okay?
[Robbie] Yeah, my game's okay.
Oh, for goodness sake.
Get your head out of that screen, Robbie.
A bit of exercise!
Come on.
[Robbie sighs]
You'd think that he'd mention,
"Oh, and by the way, the magic wears off at sunset."
- There's dribble on my fairy! - Oh.
[bird squawking]
♪ ♪
That was pretty amazing today, right?
I mean, wishes. Real wishes.
- Have you thought about what you might... - No.
Fine. You're not the only one with a phone.
Oh, you call that a phone?
My dad got mine. It's the best.
Just like my life will be when he takes me away from all of this.
Yes! I got a bar!
[Ros on video] Look, I can make films with it.
Here you go. Your favorite.
[Ros] Let me get you two together.
Do a kiss.
Let's see what else that thing does, shall we?
[Smash] Okay.
- [man on voicemail] Hi. - Dad!
I'm sorry I can't take your call right now.
Please leave your message after the tone,
and I'll get back to you as soon as I...
[Smash groans]
[seagulls cawing]
♪ ♪
[chimes ringing]
[bird squawking]
[grunts]
Looking for someone?
Hey, don't pelt me with sea barf.
- Sorry, it's a reflex. - To what?
To foolish children in search of ill-advised wishes.
Then I got great news for you, Sammy.
Because this is the best wish you've ever heard.
[groaning]
[phone ringing]
- Mum? - [phone continues ringing]
[Smash] Ros, I want you to bring Maudie.
I don't want her to miss this.
- Miss what? - You'll find out.
I'm sending someone to pick you up.
Where from?
Um, Smash said she's gone out for a nature walk.
What did she really say?
Uh... that she hates all of us
and we should just butt out of her life.
That sounds like my daughter.
[sighs] No whisk, so, um... spoon?
Okay.
Anyway, we were just wondering if maybe we could join her?
That's a funny way of butting out of her life.
Well, just trying to make an effort.
Oh, good for you, Ros. Making new friends, that's nice.
Whoa!
[both yelling]
- [Alice] Oh, are you okay?! - [David] Yes, yes, yes. No!
Okay, we gotta go.
[David groaning]
Has Smash run away again?
No, she just wants us to take you to her.
- Am I running away too? - No one's running away.
She's made a wish, that's all.
She got up early and made a wish, without telling us.
- What wish? - I don't know.
[Robbie] Maybe she wished to be invisible.
Invisible would be cool.
[helicopter whirring]
Huh. Yeah, I don't think she wished to be invisible.
Maudie! Robbie! Wait!
Wait! Come back!
Maudie! Where are we going?
Put your seatbelt on!
♪ ♪
[no audio] No.
♪ ♪
Robbie.
Maudie.
The other one.
Coco's waiting inside. Follow me.
[phone ringing]
Who's Coco?
That's Coco Rayne.
I want shorter there, longer here. A lot more feathers.
And you, add a cape.
Ah, you made it!
Not long to go now. You must be so excited!
Confused, mostly. Where's Smash?
Come with me, I'll take you to her.
No, of course, none of this is any surprise to me.
I knew she had it the moment I first saw her.
[people chattering]
Hey, Maudie! Big sis is a star! What do you think?
[woman] Come on, let's get you into make-up, Maudie.
The new video has got two billion views.
Smash, you are the hottest act on the planet.
What about us?
There's some super fans who won a competition.
- Go stand by them. - Hey, excuse me.
- Yeah? - Girls, take a photo. Take a photo.
- [camera clicking] - Yeah.
- Nice. All right, let's go talk to the media. - Okay.
Okay, don't forget to talk about your fragrance, okay?
This is forever, Smash.
You could have at least told us before you just ran off...
Somebody throw a sheet over that.
[David] Robbie!
- [Alice] Smash? Maudie? - [David] Ros?
Yes, where is your mysterious daughter?
What's she up to, eh?
Mr. Trent?
Oh... Hello!
Well, fancy seeing you here,
on this, uh, craggy pathway.
What are you doing?
Oh, what, on the... with the... and the...
I just, uh... nature survey, actually.
Um, just studying the fauna and flora of the area.
Oh, there's a bee.
You haven't seen our children, have you? They seem to have disappeared.
They haven't disappeared, we just don't know where they've gone.
[David] Which is pretty much the same thing.
I knew we shouldn't let them wander off.
David, they're children. You gotta give 'em some freedom.
Well, I do give them freedom,
I just tend to be with them at the time.
Do you know what? They're gonna be fine.
I grew up here myself, and I was forever darting off into these moors,
in pursuit of some creature or another.
Oh, to be young again,
and innocently pulling the wings off some natural creation.
Tsk.
Here's a thought.
Why don't you and your family
come over to the mansion tomorrow?
We could all spend some time together.
Have a little drinky. Might be rather fun.
Oh, no, we wouldn't wanna impose.
It's not an imposition! I insist!
I'd love it. I was never blessed with children myself,
and I think you can learn so much from them, can't you?
Well, that's very... very, very kind of you.
- Thank you. - So, you'll come?
I'll put it in the pad. Tomorrow.
[crowd chanting] Smash! Smash! Smash! Smash!
[chanting continues]
[people chattering]
Um, hello, Smash, maybe we can stop to talk about how all you...
[Smash] Let's go. Go, go, go!
- [chanting continues] - [Ros] Smash!
[upbeat pop music]
[crowd cheering]
Who wants to party?!
[cheering]
I said who wants to party?!
This show's for my sister, Maudie!
Let's Smash it, everyone!
♪ I make a crash, flash, I am Smash ♪
♪ Watch the way that I dance fast for you ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ I know I'm destined for stardom ♪
♪ I'm Smash, turn the lights on for you ♪
♪ For you ♪
♪ That's right ♪
♪ I gotta feeling, gotta feeling, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Feet off the floor, I'm on the ceiling, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Got my wish and I believe it ♪
♪ It's gonna be good, so good ♪
♪ Watch me dance, I never lose my balance ♪
♪ Moonwalking into every... ♪
[music stops]
What? What happened?
Sunset.
No, no, no, but it hardly started.
No, I want them back!
[man] Oi! How did you get in here?!
[Ros] Run!
Run!
This is trash! I want it back!
I want it... I want it all back!
You can't.
You have it for a while, then it's gone.
That's the way it is.
We're gonna be in so much trouble.
They are going to be in so much trouble.
I thought we should give them some freedom?
[gasps]
[woman on PA] Passengers are reminded...
Sorry. Come on, Maudie.
[groans] You're so slow!
Smash, have you got any idea how we're going to get home?
- Hurry up! - Wait!
[man on PA] The train service to Penzance
is now standing at platform eight.
Calling at Reading, Bristol Parkway...
[Smash] Hurry up.
- We don't have tickets! - Just act natural!
[door hisses]
Just go on!
Shut the door.
We used to do this all the time back home,
but the bathrooms are much bigger there.
Americans have bigger butts.
[panting]
Two girls, both 13 years old,
a boy, nine, probably with his hood up,
and a five-year-old girl.
You sure they're not on a nature ramble?
At night? No.
Well, there's a lot to see at night.
Badgers, owls...
What? David, why is he asking about owls?
They're not looking at owls.
Are you sure? Fascinating creatures.
Right. Okay.
- [exhales] - It's gonna be okay.
- Now, this is a tawny owl. - I don't...
I don't want to look at owls.
I want you to find our children, please.
You tried ringing them?
Mmm-hmm. But there's no signal.
There's one up that ladder.
♪ I make a crash in a flash, I'm... ♪
[sighs] Forgetting it.
It's my turn on the seat, move.
You know, none of us chose this, Smash.
We could at least try to get along.
Not me. I'm gonna go live with my dad in the Seychelles.
[scoffs] Yeah, and what about your mum?
She won't even notice. All she cares about is her dumb job.
[phone ringing]
It's your mum!
- What are you gonna tell her? - That it's your fault.
Hi! Hi, Alice. It's Ros.
Ros, where are you? Are Maudie and Smash with you?
Um, yes, um, Smash's hand got stung by a bee,
and it swelled up and we got taken to a hospital.
What? Hospital? [stammers]
How'd you get to the hospital? What happened?
No, we're fine, we're fine.
Um, they gave her an injection
and we're just waiting for the swelling to go down.
[knocking on door]
Occupied.
[Robbie makes farting sounds]
[Ros] That was Smash, yeah.
Which hospital? We'll come and get you.
Um, the... they're gonna put us on the train.
You can pick us up from the station.
A train? Hasn't this country heard of an ambulance before?
- [grunting] - Calm down, calm down, calm...
[both yelling]
- [thud] - [David grunts]
Where's your mom?
She's at university.
- Oh, your dad cheated on her? - No, of course not.
She just wanted to find herself.
Find herself a long way from you.
Is that why your dad left you?
No. He just got fed up with my mom,
just like everyone else does.
Daddy's gone to live with a new lady.
She reeled him in with her tight, 20-year-old tushy.
- [all laughing] - [beeping]
[woman on PA] We're now approaching St. Austell.
I think this is our stop.
Tickets, now.
♪ ♪
[sighs] Finally.
[sighs] Unbelievable.
Totally unbelievable.
I just can't get my head around it.
I know. Totally out of control.
I can't believe that Ros and Robbie would ever do anything like that.
It's just not like them.
Meaning what? It's all Smash's fault?
Of course not. Although... they've just never broken the law before.
Well, you never let them out of your house, David.
I mean, what are they gonna do, embezzle your rhubarb?
- Let's not argue. - No, let's argue.
Come on, you have a problem with my parenting?
I wanna hear what you have to say.
I... I don't have a problem with your parenting.
Although, obviously...
Obviously, obviously what?
- Smash has her issues, but... - Issues?
You said issues. You told me that she had issue...
Let's... let's just... let's just forget everything
and just... and move on.
No, no, no. Don't do that,
don't try to smooth everything over.
- Tell me what you mean. - I didn't mean anything.
I... [stammers] I'm sorry I mentioned it.
I don't want apologies, David. I wanna know what you feel.
What are you thinking?
[exhales]
♪ ♪
[Smash] Do it again.
I want it again!
I don't do the same wish twice.
[grunting]
- What are you doing?! - It's my turn for a wish!
Oh, great, and what lame-o thing are you gonna ask for? World peace?
World peace? Finally.
[both] No!
Maybe you should wish to be a famous writer.
Maybe you should wish yourself up a brain.
Maybe you should wish yourself up a boyfriend!
Maybe I should wish for the sweet release of oblivion.
What about two wishes today, Sammy?
Two wishes a day is extremely hazardous for me.
If you want two wishes a day,
I suggest you find one of the two-wish-a-day-Psammeads.
Where are they?
Extinct.
Great, now you scared him off!
- I scared him off?! - Yeah, you scared him off!
- I did not scare him off! - Hey! Stop it!
- I touched you! - You pushed me!
Good morning.
Do you think maybe we could not, um...
Can we put last night behind us?
That's the problem, isn't it?
Putting things behind us, pretending everything's okay.
I don't know if it's gonna work.
What, because I said...
It's not what you said, it's what you don't say.
I never know what you're feeling because you're...
You're always so damn reasonable.
You know, sometimes you just gotta let it rip.
[sighs]
Do you think that might be too many raisins?
[chuckles]
Yeah, maybe.
Look, I promise
I will... I will try to be a lot more unreasonable.
- Okay? - Okay.
Let's give the kids another chance today,
maybe they'll calm down a bit.
- Yeah. - [Smash] You're pushing me.
[Ros] Ow, stop, why are you kicking me?
[Smash] I'm just trying to walk through the door.
[Ros] So am I!
- [both continue arguing] - [sighs]
[Ros and Smash continue arguing]
This is it.
Dad!
[both indistinct]
- I was walking! - Dad, she hit me!
- Oh, sorry for walking. - Smash, come on, please.
- There's a bruise. - Oh, there's a bruise?
Yes, there's a bruise.
[continue indistinct]
♪ ♪
[chuckles]
Welcome. Welcome to Trent Towers.
Come in, come in.
[door closes]
Well, this is charming.
Oh, uh... I wonder if I might trouble you
to remove your outdoor footwear.
- Of course. - Okay, sweetie.
Would you mind? Awfully?
Shoes. [chuckles]
It's just that it's a heritage site.
If you don't mind?
Daddy shot that hippo.
An incredible hump. Put up a real struggle, that beast.
[chuckles]
Just pop those there.
So, what do you think?
It's charming, yes. Really, really charming.
It's old and kind of worn-looking.
[David] Ahem.
I guess that's a British thing, right?
Well, it's not Disneyland but we do our best.
There was a time when the Trents were kings of the world.
My ancestors explored the globe,
bravely uncovering lost civilizations and...
liberating their primitive knickknacks.
Great-grandpops, he made his fortune in Africa, then...
blew it all on, well...
let's call it his final quest.
A quest, really? For, um, what?
Ultimate power.
Riches beyond the dreams of man. The usual.
It was an obsession that finally destroyed him,
but which may yet have a positive outcome.
Do you think I could perhaps offer you a cocktail?
And give the children a tour of the house?
Let's leave the adults to their stuffy entertainment.
I've got some things that I think you'll find rather intriguing through here.
Come this way, young lady. Through here.
Now, this is an absolute gem,
and it's the only one like it in the world, what's more.
Now, look at some of these genuine marvels. Don't mind the smell.
Wow. Look at all of this.
- What's this do? - [powering up]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't touch that.
- That's not for children is it? - Cool! Night vision goggles!
Yes, well, plainly I'm a keen badger enthusiast.
And I like to keep a keen eye on the goings on of the badger.
They're fascinating creatures, the badgers.
Do you know they eat their young? If you're interested.
Ah, now, you'll like this.
This is the last living Dodo.
It looks kinda dead.
Formerly the last living Dodo.
Don't be pedantic, it's not an appealing quality in a child.
Uh, come through this way.
- What's this? - That's from China.
Let go, please. It's a Tyrannosaur's claw.
Did your family shoot it, too?
No, but they, they did shoot the peasant that found it.
[scoffs]
Oh... Ah... Ta-ta-ta...
Please, don't touch that. Come on.
Should be in a borstal.
Now, I've got some real treats for you in here.
A menagerie of wonderful beasts and creatures
we've painstakingly preserved.
Natural treasures... [continues indistinct]
Oh, there you are. [chuckles]
Oh... Where's the toilet?
The water closet is... it's upstairs on the right.
Okay.
Now, who would like to see a stuffed elephant?
Formerly endangered, they're now obviously extinct.
But there are some real treasures among other things.
Ooh... [chuckles] Hello there.
Nothing of interest in there for a young person.
Um, Ros, while I have you for a moment,
could I just ask... have you ever been here before?
Or had a relative from here? A grandmother, perhaps?
- Um, no. - Curious, um...
Since you've been here,
have you come across anything unusual?
- Any oddities? - Um, other than you, you mean?
[chuckles] Well, listen,
if you should see anything unusual, do let me know.
I'd make it worth your while.
For example.
[soft roar]
Hmm.
Hmm...
[scoffs] Look at these!
- Hey, I want to replace your mom. - [chuckles]
That's pretty much how she sees me.
No. No, it's not.
Maybe a little bit.
[chuckles] Here, let me have a go.
[Darth Vader voice] Smash, I am your stepfather.
- [breathes like Vader] - [chuckles]
We're so revolting.
The Force is strong with this one.
[both laughing]
[Mr. Trent] Forgive me interrupting
your ethnically insensitive erotica,
but I think I'd rather like to get on with my afternoon.
- Yes. Oh, sorry. - Sorry about that.
- Where are the others? - Oh, we said they could go.
Ros. Ros, we need to talk to you, darling.
I'll take that, thank you.
♪ ♪
[beeping]
I know Smash isn't always easy.
She has difficulty making friends.
Well, with girls, anyways.
So she knows how to talk to boys?
The wrong sort of boys, yeah.
Look, Ros...
I just wanna say,
I really care about your dad.
- So do I. - I know you do, honey.
Your dad... he's sweet.
Even when I first crashed into him, he was just so...
Has he told you this? How we met?
I crashed into him with my car. He asked me for my number.
I was like, "Can you believe this guy?
He's hitting on me at a road traffic accident."
Turns out it was for insurance, but I wasn't gonna let him get away
without buying me coffee.
And he wasn't badly hurt, although his bike was wrecked.
So, Ros...
I guess what I wanna ask is...
- [phone ringing] - Oh, wait, you have bars!
Do you actually have bars? [gasps]
It's my mum! My mum! I...
I'll let you guys be alone.
- Mum, is that you? - [chattering]
- It's noisy. - I'm at a party.
Seriously?
How are you doing out there with your father?
You getting on okay with Alice?
You... you know about her?
Your dad's got to move on, sweetheart.
Yeah, but, um, I was actually wondering...
Do you think that maybe when you've finished
with all the partying and the studying and stuff,
you might... you might actually come home?
Ros, we've talked about this.
- Your dad's a lovely man... - Yes, he is!
He is a lovely man. I knew you still liked him.
♪ ♪
Ow, that is sharp!
What kind of maniac leaves a Spinosaurus claw on a beach?
It's supposed to be a Tyrannosaur.
Excuse me. I think I know
a Spinosaurus claw when it stabs me.
It's a very particular kind of impalement.
- You've met dinosaurs? - Of course I haven't met dinosaurs!
I hid from dinosaurs or I wouldn't have survived long enough
to be pestered by you!
Now, the important thing about dinosaurs is...
Can we have our wish now? It's Maudie's turn.
Yeah... Oh, yeah, never mind
about the incredible prehistoric anecdotes.
"Give us our wish."
What is it this time?
I wish we could all...
♪ ♪
[wind blowing]
You all right, darling?
Um, yeah, I'm just feeling a bit...
light-headed.
Oh. You know...
Alice is a really nice person.
I think, you know, you'll grow to like her.
You just have to give her a chance, babe.
[chuckles]
Hey...
- What are you doing? - Hugging trees, you know...
I love the wildlife.
Well, why don't I...
give it a hug with you?
Oh, yeah, sure, just...
How am I doing? All right?
Um, great. Yeah.
You know, Ros, there's something I want to ask you.
Oh, really?
How would you feel if Alice... moved in?
With us?
All of us, living together like,
well, like a new family. I mean, I know
it'll be a difficult transition in the beginning,
but what do you think?
Hmm?
Rozzy?
♪ ♪
[all grunting]
[gasps] Maudie!
Ros!
Maudie wished we could fly! How great is this?!
Dad wants us to live with Alice.
- Thought so. - That's all you can say?
It's not like we can do anything to stop them.
[laughing]
[phone ringing]
Dad!
[grunts]
[beeping]
[coughs]
♪ ♪
- [Alice] That's Smash's phone. - What?
[both groan]
She got a text from her dad.
[groans] There's no room for her at... at the moment.
Big surprise.
"But how about I buy you some sneakers."
- Oh... - Some sneakers?
Wow.
I tried not to let her get her hopes up.
- Hey. - I really tried.
This way, she stays with you, with us.
It's a good thing.
[chuckles] Yeah, she's gonna be so excited.
♪ ♪
Ros! There's something wrong with Smash.
Come on.
♪ ♪
[Ros] Smash, stop it!
[Robbie grunts]
- [thuds] - I'm okay.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[coughing]
Why don't you just leave me alone?
[scoffs] Oh...
- You could have killed yourself! - So what?! Who cares?!
Even my dad doesn't want me.
We want you. Don't we, Robbie?
Yeah, you're all right.
♪ ♪
[cries]
♪ ♪
Ah, there you are. Just in time.
Dinner's ready!
[coughing]
There you go.
[sighs]
Oh... you found it.
- We need to talk about that. - I'll save you the trouble.
"That was so expensive. You're so irresponsible.
What's wrong with you? Why don't you just disappear, huh?
Why don't you just become someone else?"
- Smash, no. - I'm gonna give this the funeral it deserves.
[sighs]
[door opens, closes]
Uh... there's cakes.
I'll get the cakes. Okay?
I liked it when we could fly.
Hey, you ran away earlier, darling.
I think maybe we should talk about...
I talked to mum.
She still likes you, you know.
[door opens, closes]
[sighs]
- Fly! [screams] - [gasps]
- [crying] - Maudie?
[owl hooting]
[meat sizzles]
Imagine if none of this happened.
Imagine if your mum was with your dad...
they loved each other...
and they had enough time for you.
That won't happen.
My mom and dad can't even be on the same continent.
What if they could?
We could wish it. We could wish them together.
Only for a day.
What if there's a way to make a wish last forever?
It's my turn tomorrow. I've got an idea.
♪ ♪
It's over.
[Ros and Smash] What?
The holiday.
We've been moving too fast,
asking you to adjust too quickly.
It's not fair.
So, you can pack your bags and then we'll go.
- But... but you can't. - Pathetic.
- I thought you were committed. - We are committed.
You're gonna let it slide just 'cause your kids act up a bit?
What did you think we were gonna do? Hold a jamboree?
We're supposed to hate you.
- Don't you know anything? - Smash, it's not that...
I'm very disappointed in your attitude.
Not you. But you.
- I thought you had guts. - I've got guts.
Yeah, that's right, Dad, you tell her.
If you want something, then you're gonna take it.
And if you wanna force your kids on some awful holiday,
then you're damn well going to.
We need to know our boundaries.
[Smash] You need to find a way through this,
because I tell you, you let us win this one,
the next time you try to put us together,
we're gonna be burning down bus shelters!
Yeah!
You need to take a long, hard look at yourselves.
[door closes]
[both laughing]
"Burning down bus shelters"?
Okay, it was your boundaries thing.
I was, like, "Let's go total delinquent."
[laughing]
Um, your mum said that you've had a lot of boyfriends.
- Did she? - I was just wondering
how that whole "getting them to notice you" thing works.
Just run up and hit them on the arm.
- Really? - Yeah!
Boys are the simplest thing in the world.
Just don't overthink it.
Oh, and, uh, do something about your hair.
And curly hair helps, too.
[laughing]
[beeping]
[sniffing]
You new type of children are just so demanding.
The last ones were much more considerate.
Funny you should mention them. That's who we want to meet.
We wish to go back in time and meet the original children,
the ones from E. Nesbit's book Five Children and It.
That's your wish? I thought you were gonna...
I just wanna ask them something.
Time travel wishes are dangerous.
Timelines change, people stop existing.
There's always consequences with time travel. Always.
- I'm decided. - Fine.
Who cares about reality anyway?
[inhaling]
Wait. What if we wanna get back?
You see that shell?
Blow on that if you get into bother.
Is it magic?
I don't know, one of them is. Might be that one.
[farting]
♪ ♪
Gracious.
You're a rum-looking lot.
Said the dude in fancy dress.
- I beg your pardon? - Do you speak English?
She's American. We're from the future.
The Psammead sent us back here to meet you.
Golly, that's a cracking wish.
Perhaps we should wish to go to your time.
Not in that getup.
Says the girl in the scarecrow costume.
I'm Cyril.
Ros.
And this must be Robert,
Jane, Anthea and Elam.
Listen, there was something we wanted to ask you.
Is there a way to make a wish permanent?
There's something I really want to ask for,
but it has to last forever, not just a day.
- You mean you don't know yet? - Tell me.
That's simple. You just wish for something else.
- Something that can... - [yells] Bloody poachers!
- Scarper! - Scrumpers! I knew it!
- Scarper! - [Mr. Trent yelling indistinct]
[laughing] Caught ya, boy.
- [muttering] - I didn't steal anything!
Don't you dare, don't you dare move your earlobe.
Ow! Get off of me! Stop it!
Ow, let go. You're hurting me!
Empty your pockets. Let's see your loot.
Let's see what you've stolen from me, what you have pilfered.
Come on, what have you got in there?
Hop to it. Shell, yes. That's no interest to me.
- Hey! - What's this now?
- [videogame noises] - [yelps]
What sorcery is this?!
What are these infernal beasts trapped within here?
- See how enraged they are! - They're angry birds?
I'm not surprised.
Trapped for all eternity in a prison.
- [grunts] - [phone clatters]
- Hey... - What are ya?
A witch? A sorcerer? A necromancer?
A leprechaun? A Frenchman?
Whatever it is you are,
I'll wager you're highly collectable.
- A real treasure. - Please, I'm a girl.
The Psammead brought us here.
Psammead?
Well, who's this Psammead?
I don't know, it's... it's not a person.
It's just this thing that gives us wishes.
Interesting.
And where might I find this magical wish-granting entity?
Tell me! Tell me!
I shan't be asking you again.
[gasps]
You got that right!
[grunts]
[yelps]
♪ ♪
Ros! Come on!
Robbie! How did you...
Smash got Cyril to go back and see the Psammead.
And I wished for us to have superpowers!
I've got x-ray vision, so I can see through walls.
That's how we found you.
Maudie's telekinetic, and Smash has super strength.
And you've got...
[yells]
Laser eyes. Cool.
[yelling]
[groans]
[grunting]
This is a wheeze!
[all yelping]
♪ ♪
We have to get out of here, right now.
The Psammead's in danger.
Come on, this is fun.
You see that? That's Tristan's great-grandfather over there.
Once he's seen all this, he's going to spend the rest of his life
hunting down the Psammead.
That was his life's quest, and I just handed it to him.
Our Tristan's hunting him, too!
Then I guess we ought to do something about that.
[horn sound]
[screaming]
Where's the Psammead?
- [grunts] - There!
My offerings!
Oh, my gosh. It's true.
[laughs] The legend is true.
Leave this to me. Smash power!
- [Ros] Smash! - [grunts] Ow, ow.
That wish expired about a hundred years ago.
- [grunting] - Come on!
Maudie!
- Stop! Stop it! - Stop!
Out of the way! The creature's mine!
- Try and make us! - Oh, okay then!
- [screams] - [laughing]
[Smash] Come on!
♪ ♪
[screams]
Huh...
Oh, run, Maudie, run!
[Mr. Trent grunts]
[exclaiming]
Oh, this is really helping.
[laughing]
To the tunnel!
My beautiful offerings! Take me back!
Didn't we just rescue you?
Oh, well, that... that was rescuing, was it?
I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to kill me.
If you have a problem with our rescuing,
then maybe you should have magicked yourself out of it!
- I can't do magic on myself. - Well, that sucks.
[panting]
[Psammead groans]
Hey! You! I'm stuck!
We'll tell the coastguard in a couple of days!
Maybe a week!
[both laughing]
I am really sorry about your beach.
- It's not your fault. - Well, actually...
you know that whole going-back-in-time thing
may kind have been what made the Trents obsessed with hunting you down.
Oh. Oh, I see.
Gosh, you must feel so awful about that.
Look, don't worry.
Seriously, I was thinking of moving on anyway.
- Really? - No, not really!
I've lived on that beach for a hundred million years.
It's survived global floods, two ice ages,
and a comet which wiped out most of the life on earth.
But apparently, it couldn't survive you!
I'll... I'll make it up to you.
[scoffs]
Wow!
- That actually looks edible. - Hey!
[grunts]
Hitting is unacceptable.
I can be very, very,
- very unreasonable about it. - [laughing]
Those kids never finished telling you what you wanted.
How to make a wish last forever? I worked that out.
The Psammead's wishes always end at sunset.
But what if we wish for something else?
What if we wish for something that could make permanent magic?
Like another Psammead?
- No. - [chuckles]
I'm more thinking an app
that makes people fall in love forever.
Puts everything back as it was.
So, the app disappears at sunset,
but then both our parents are still together!
Ros, you're awesome.
Thanks. You're pretty okay, too.
How are we gonna sneak him in?
[Alice moaning, giggling]
Wait, stop. I think I heard something.
[all gasp]
Um...
♪ ♪
[groans]
Hmm. There's a startling lack of, uh, sand.
[Robbie] Eh... I'll get the buckets.
Dad says you spoke to Mum.
Yeah, she's doing really well, you know.
I think this university stuff's just a temporary thing.
- She still really likes... - Stop. Just don't.
She's had to make a lot of very difficult choices, Robbie.
It's not like any of this is straightforward.
- And then there's... - That's dad talking.
She left us, Ros. She left us.
- [indistinct chatter] - [laughing]
Oh, okay, it's ice cream.
Say it in... say it in a British...
- You go ice cream! - [all exclaim]
What do you think?
[Smash] Well, it's not on fire,
- so I guess it's good. - [all chattering]
This has never happened before, trust me.
- Now say water bottle. - Water bottle.
- [clattering]
- What was that? - Oh, just me.
[kicks table]
[David] It sounded like it was upstairs.
[clattering]
Oh, actually, you know what?
I am tired and would like to go upstairs to do some sleeping.
I'm also very tired too, so, yeah, I should turn in.
Oh, me too. I'm really tired. Thank you.
What's going on?
There's a sand monster in the bath.
It's mean, but we love it.
Oh...
[Psammead grunting]
Oh!
Offerings.
We seriously have to find it a new place to live.
Do you think it's the tart?
[with the mouth full] There's no way it's the tart.
- The tart's amazing. - Yeah?!
- Yeah. - [laughs]
Actually, do you think I should check on them?
Oh, no. They're up to stuff
they don't want us to know about.
It's like we're a real family already.
[sniffing]
Mmm... Mm...
[gags, spits]
It has to be one sentence.
It is, these are semicolons.
Wow, a use for punctuation. Who knew?
You know, if it's too vague or if there's holes in it, then...
It's not. It's watertight.
Tomorrow everything will go back to how it should be.
Our real parents back together.
Not just together. In love, forever.
Will be like we never even met.
[footsteps approaching]
It was my favorite when I was her age.
Tell her you got it, though. I don't want her to think I'm trying to buy her.
Four children. Double trouble.
Do you think we can handle it?
[Alice] What's life without a challenge?
[David] Really peaceful.
Oh... I can't wait to see them grow and blossom.
Yeah, maybe.
I wish that they'd never grow...
[both] Do not complete that sentence!
[Alice] Hey, you're supposed to be asleep!
Oh, Smash, I, uh...
fixed your phone.
Uh, thanks.
It's not as flashy as it was before but...
But it works. That's what counts, right?
Yeah.
All right.
Okay, girls, go back to sleep now.
[bird squawking]
[groans]
♪ ♪
[phone ringing]
Sunrise.
Smash, wake up. The wish.
Mmm.
[gasps]
[screams]
Stop! No!
[David] Girls? Girls, what's going on in there?
- Why are you wet? - Um, I...
[groans] Sorry, did we wake you getting showered?
This holiday is just so great.
- Why sleep through it, right? - Yeah, yeah.
We just thought we should make an early start and see the sun come up.
Do you know what?
That is a brilliant idea. Let's do it.
Let's start the day. Let's have breakfast on the beach!
What?
Ros...
let's have a bit of human interaction today.
Leave the books behind, all right?
[Smash] Them.
- No! - Come on,
if you can rescue a Psammead, you can do this.
♪ ♪
Ooh.
Eh...
[grunts]
[breathing hard]
You got this. You'll be so cool. Just do it.
Ow!
What are you doing, psycho?
- I'm sorry, I... - No.
You've got issues.
I... I don't know what came over me.
So, do you want to get an ice cream?
[squeals]
[panting]
♪ ♪
[grunting]
[indistinct chatter]
Okay, girls. Time to go.
Ah...
[yelps]
- [door opens, closes] - Huh?
Ah...
[gasps]
- [giggling] - Hey!
I wanna... I wanna see more photos.
- [girls giggling] - [Robbie] What's so funny?
Door's open.
- We've been robbed! - What the...?
[Alice gasps]
Tristan.
- Ros! - Tell my dad I've gone for a walk.
No, I'm coming, too.
No, just, go away, okay? This is my mess.
If I hadn't made that stupid time-travel wish,
none of this would have happened.
I have to sort it out.
No, you don't. We do.
This is our mess, too.
Fine, just, come on then.
It'll be pretty easy to get in.
We can force a window or something.
I mean, the place is pretty run down.
♪ ♪
Whoa.
[yelping]
Get off!
[grunts] Get off of me!
Welcome!
I knew you wouldn't be able to resist!
Well... what do you think?
Dazzling, isn't it?
When do the fashion police get here?
You might still have time to run.
[laughing]
Bring them to me.
But I suppose I do owe you a debt of gratitude.
Une French Fancy?
The only thing we want is the Psammead.
- Where is he? - Psammead?
Psammead, Psammead, Psammead, Psammead.
[piano keys playing]
Psammead...
Oh!
You mean my latest acquisition!
- What have you done to him? - Nothing!
Couple of mild electric shocks.
Nothing that would trouble the Geneva Convention.
It's a bit of a wuss, to be honest with you.
[scoffs] Let him go.
- He's given you everything that you want. - This?
This is just the beginning. First thing I thought of.
Plush pad, purple lady army, velvet.
And it's refusing to give me any more. Hmm?
[electricity buzzing]
[groaning]
[groans] Please...
- I can't. - Do you see?
I need you kids to help me change its mind.
It won't listen to us.
It can only do one wish a day. Any more is dangerous for him.
He could hurt himself.
Oh, Ros, my dear child.
I don't need you to talk to it.
I need you here so that I can change its mind.
Get off my sister!
Please don't hurt them.
Well, that's rather up to you, isn't it?
More wishes, please.
Very well.
If you must. Make a wish.
I wish that... [muffled]
Ah! Very good, very good!
Nearly got me there. Shoot that one first.
[muffled scream]
Stop.
Take your wish, Tristan Trent. It will be your last.
Yes, yes. Spare me the platitudes.
[clears throat] Gold!
I wish for gold, creature.
Beyond the dreams of man.
[inhales]
[groaning, farting]
Where's my gold?
[clattering]
Children... you have to...
you-you-you have to...
[clattering]
♪ ♪
It's okay, Psammead. We'll take care of you.
No. You have to leave.
Now.
Ooh, yeah. [laughing]
[yelping]
Help! [grunts]
[gargling]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
[rumbling]
[yells]
[Maudie] Poor sand monster.
Sammy? Sammy!
No. No. No... [sniffling]
Robbie, Robbie, stop.
No. No...
I... I can't.
I can't.
[crying]
♪ ♪
Shoe sand, yum, yum.
Maudie.
Sand monster's hungry.
[crying]
[wheezing]
[groaning]
Do you mind?
♪ ♪
[Psammead] Careful.
You're gonna love this new beach.
- What's the sand like? - Be quiet.
- [Psammead muffled] - Shh.
Oh... [chuckles] I'll take that.
[Psammead mumbling]
Okay, let's go.
Last day, let's make the most of it.
I can take your bag for you. Yeah.
Thank you!
[Psammead] I think I'm sitting on a snorkel.
Ow!
- Oh! - Sorry!
[birds squawking]
- [girls chattering] - Mind your head.
All right.
Hurry!
Girls! What's that? Where are you going?
[yells] What's that?!
[chuckles] It's just a shell, baby.
See?
Okay, I'm over it now.
Okay.
♪ ♪
Hmm...
Good grain.
That's quality.
So, this will do?
Oh, yes. I'm digging deep.
No one's finding me for another hundred years, if I have any luck.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Wait! - Our final wish.
Okay, for the last time. Wish me.
So... you're really gonna do it then?
Yeah, our mum and dad back together.
Robbie, don't you want to be happy?
"We wish to create a mobile phone application..."
Mmm?
"...hereafter referred to as an app..."
- Ros... - What?
Why is your shoe flashing?
I don't know, but...
- Where is it? Eh? - [yelps]
- Where is it? - I don't...
[birds squawking]
[phone chimes]
[gasps] I have a signal!
Yay, we have a signal.
- [sighs] - [exhales] Okay...
Two-hundred and eighty-seven emails. Nineteen voicemails.
I'm on vacation.
[both chuckle]
[Ros yelps]
Is that...? Hang on.
[indistinct chatter]
- [Mr. Trent] Show me to its nest. - [Ros] Ow!
- [all yelling] - Where it does its business!
Take me to its lair! Its dwelling place!
- [all yelling] - What are you doing?!
- What's going on? - Stinking...
- What's going on?! - Stay out of this, this doesn't concern you.
It's between me and these children.
Hang on a minute. Just calm down. I'm sure we can all...
Yeah, I think you should calm down.
Let me carry out my investigation.
Mr. Trent, be reasonable.
I'm being reasonable!
I've not shot them or flogged them, have I?
Now why don't you toddle off into the dunes with your American tart,
and let me take care of business?
[yelps]
You keep your hands off my family!
Alice, phone the police.
Oh, yes. Um, well, I have a phone, too.
Four bars.
[Smash] Ros, stop.
No, Ros, no.
But the wish, I... I never made the wish!
It was just here. It can't have gone far.
Why aren't you helping me?!
It... it's gone, Ros.
[crying] No. I want it back. I want it back!
[Smash] Let it go.
Well, I... I don't know about anyone else,
but I'm still looking forward to hearing this ludicrous wish.
We wish...
Can they say goodbye first?
We had a good time, didn't we?
We had the best.
But I don't wanna say goodbye.
But we have to, Maudie. We have to.
I wish...
I wish that you have a long, peaceful sleep in the sand,
and no one disturbs you for at least another hundred years.
Maybe there's hope for you yet.
- Goodbye, Psammead. - Bye, Psammead.
Thanks for the horrible wishes.
Well, goodbye, children.
It's been awful knowing you.
Bye-bye, sand monster.
See you never.
That I can promise.
♪ ♪
And just the way he was behaving.
Don't... don't... now, don't arrest me.
There's been a misunderstanding. Un-arrest me.
Arrest them! If you're gonna arrest anybody.
He struck me, she's American,
they destroyed my house with a magical sand thing!
It decimated my mansion! It's in ruins!
[David] Kids?
Are you all right?
We're fine.
We're all completely fine.
[laughing]
♪ ♪
[chattering]
♪ ♪
- There you go. - Thank you.
I wish I could be a writer one day.
Well, you're never too old for wishes, huh?
Have a nice day.
Could you sign it for Jacqueline, please?
Of course!
Thank you.
Subtitle By: MARSH-MARIE
["Forever a Star" by Laura White playing]