Subindex build by Linnet http://linnet.126.com http://blog.csdn.net/redbirdli 火鸟字幕合并器SubindexV0.5 Created time 19.04.25 17:52:28
== 字幕制作：梦想照进现实 ==
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, hey
流汗时间到！ Let's sweat!
Macho, macho man Macho man
加油！ Come on!
对！扭动身体，摇摆！ l've got to be
That's right! Shake it, honey!
A macho man
Macho, macho man
对，像只小马 Oh, yeah! Like a pony! l'm a pony!
我是只小马 l've got to be a macho
你觉得像小马吗？ Don't you feel like a pony when you sweat?
流汗时你觉得像小马吗？
快扭动！加油！ Oh, yeah! Yeah!
Go! Do it!
开始，一二 Come on! Here we go!
(MUSIC CONTINUES) One! Two! This is my favorite exercise!
我最喜欢的运动
加油！五 Come on! Five!
Whoa!
健壮，健壮！ Macho, macho man
Macho! Macho! Oh!
我是只小马 “蓝斯柏金减肥餐” l've got to be
l'm a pony!
A macho man
加油！扭动身体！来吧！ (ELECTRONIC SNORTING) Come on, let's go! Do it! Come on!
演员：艾迪墨菲 我跳流行舞 l've got to be a macho
(MUSIC CONTINUES) l'm vogueing! You can vogue!
你也行
“随身变” 来吧！你感受得到吗？ Can you feel it?
l've got to be a macho man
Oh!
我要得动脉瘤了 l'm going to have an aneurysm.
Oh!
我小腿肌肉在燃烧 My calves are burning!
这是科学大楼 This is our science department.
遗传学系 The genetics wing.
l'll remind you we are in the vanguard of research.
(CHUCKLES)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
立刻叫可伦来！ Get Klump in here now!
可伦教授 BOY 1 : Professor Klump. Good morning.
早 GIRL 1 : Hey, Professor! Good morning.
教授
早 BOY 2: Morning. Morning.
早安
Morning. GIRL 2: Good morning, Professor Klump.
How are you?
Morning.
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
“伟蒙大学”
(BLOWER ENGINE STARTS)
(SCREAMING)
我的天啊！ Oh, my goodness.
教授，笼子怎么回事？ Professor Klump. The cages. What happened?
怪透了！ That is most peculiar, Jason,
记得昨晚我锁了 because l distinctly remember locking up last night.
我锁上笼子 l locked these cages,
转过身来拿公事包 picked up my portfolio and turned around...
(STUDENTS GASPING AND CHATTERING)
Oh.
我一定碰到开关了 l must've grazed the switch.
只有夏莉没跑走 Shelley's the only one that didn't get out.
我照顾夏莉，你们处理善后 Good. l'll tend to Shelley.
You students take care of this. Excuse me.
夏莉，你好吗？我的小粉扑 Hello, Shelley.
How are you today, my little powder puff?
Yeah. Yeah.
(MURMURING BABY TALK)
你看最新研究结果 我可能分析错误 Sir?
You may want to look at the latest test results.
l'm not sure if l'm reading them correctly.
“研究对向：夏莉”
三盎司？她瘦了三盎司？ She's lost three ounces since the last feed?
可能弄错了 Must be some kind of mistake.
(KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING)
不杰森 她的分子结构重新排列了 No, no, Jason.
Her entire molecular structure has been realigned.
我们成功了！ We've done it. This new formula's working.
新药改变了夏莉的DNA lt's actually reconstructed Shelley's DNA.
吃一次药就减了20%体重 She lost 20% of her body fat in one feeding.
增加药量如何？ What if we upped the dosage?
不慢慢来，别伤了夏莉 No, one step at a time. We don't want to jeopardize Shelley.
照原计划进行 We'll keep the feedings as scheduled.
好吧 Okay.
抱歉，我要迟到了 Schedule. Excuse me. l'm very late.
快点！还有一堆工作要做 Students, we got a lot of work to do
要得奖助金就别浪费时间 and don't have much time to do it in.
正如席纽说：大家加把劲！ Trying to win a grant here.
So, as Arsenio used to say, "Let's get busy!"
导演：汤姆夏迪可 (SWITCHES LEVER)
(STUDENTS CHATTERING)
“理奇蒙校长” (RUSTLING AND SQUEAKING)
(CLEARS THROAT AND GRUNTS)
(EXHALES SLOWLY)
舒服吗？ Comfy?
很好 Quite.
需要什么？ Anything l can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?
果汁、咖啡、烤羊排？
不了，谢谢 No, sir, l'm fine.
(SNIFFS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
你有事要找我吗？ You did want to see me about something, didn't you, sir?
可伦教授 我用另一个问题回答你 Well, Professor Klump,
allow me to answer that question
by posing another.
为什么想毁了我的学校？ Why are you trying to destroy my school?
你说什么？ Beg your pardon, sir?
你认识露易丝芬德薇？ Do you know who Louise Vindovik is?
当然，她是位可爱的女士 提供奖助金给本校科学系 Oh, surely, sir.
She's a lovely woman
who so generously donates money
差点说对，可惜错了 to help fund our science department.
Close. Very close. But wrong.
她曾是可爱的女士 她曾捐赠奖助金 See, she was a lovely woman,
and she used to fund our science department.
在她差点吞下沙鼠之前 That was before she was hospitalized
不是沙鼠，是大颊鼠 for nearly swallowing a gerbil.
Not gerbil, sir. A hamster.
沙鼠比较瘦，大颊鼠较胖 Gerbils are more streamlined
and hamsters have a tendency to be fluffier.
公大颊鼠阴囊左右不对称 The male hamster's scrotum has a tendency
to be disproportionately...
算了 Never mind.
拥枪自重的人是对的 若我有把枪 Those National Rifle people are right.
lf l had one now...bang.
“砰” Sir, l'd like to concentrate on the positives.
往好处想 她看到五千只健康颊鼠
What Miss Vindovik witnessed was 5,000 healthy hamsters
由有遗传缺憾的母鼠所生 非常令人兴奋 bred from a genetically deficient hereditary line.
lt's actually very exciting.
我看来兴奋吗？ Do l look excited, Klump?
不，你看来不兴奋 No, you don't look excited at all.
或许你惯于隐藏兴奋心情 But maybe you might be holding it in, your excitement,
not wanting to express it.
给我听好！死肥子 Now listen to me carefully, you fat tub of goo.
你把捐赠人都得罪光了 For years you've single-handedly alienated
every wealthy donor we've had.
空调学校的捐赠都比我们多 Air-conditioning schools are outdrawing us!
赤字成了本校标记 We've lost so much money, red is our school color.
烂学校的电脑都比我们好 lnner-city schools have better computers than we do.
波士尼亚都想捐助我们！ Bosnia wants to give us money!
我替你约了何林哈利 可伦！你在听吗？ l'm going to set up a meeting with Harlan Hartley...
Klump! Are you listening?
是的 Yes, sir. Yes.
哈利是我们最后机会 Hartley is the last rich alumnus we've got.
他对科学极为热衷 And he's a science fan.
他打算捐赠一千万给学校 And he's considering donating a $10 million grant to this school.
我要那笔钱 And l want that money, Klump.
没拿到就开除你！ Yourjob depends upon it.
我会告诉你怎么做，走吧！ l'll let you know how to handle it,
since l'll be watching you. Now go.
但是 But, sir, l don't know if you should...
不听好 See, right back there,
在你说“但是”之前 just before you said "But, sir" right there?
我们谈话已经结束 That was the end of the meeting.
看来我该走了 Well, l guess l'll leave.
祝你愉快 You have a pleasant day.
葛瑞丝，奶精又坏了 Grace, the cream has turned again.
(GASPS)
你们现在学的方程式 PROFESSOR: Of all the equations you'll learn
during the course of your studies here,
这些方程式，我保证 this equation shall be, l promise you,
是你们学过最有用的 the most helpful
throughout the course of your studies,
因为这个方程式 基本上化解 because this equation fundamentally breaks down
DNA的结构 what DNA is composed of,
以及 and what components of DNA...
DNA的构成要素 (GIGGLING CONTINUES)
(LOUDER LAUGHTER)
看来我弄脏裤子了 l seem to have messed myself.
不是裤子，是衬衫 l haven't really messed myself.
l mean, l messed my shirt up.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
要复习遗传学第四章 But make sure you read chapter 4
in your textbooks on genetics.
星期三会随堂抽考 Gonna be a pop quiz on Wednesday.
要随堂考试 There's a pop quiz. Pop quiz.
随堂考
可伦教授 WOMAN: Professor Klump?
你好 (MUMBLING) Hello.
你好，抱歉打扰 Oh. Hi. l'm sorry.
我找可伦教授 l didn't mean to interrupt.
l was looking for Professor Klump.
(SPITTING)
我就是 l'm him. l'm he.
我就是夏曼可伦 l'm Sherman Klump.
(GUM BALLS SCATTERING)
我经常这样做 Never mind. l do that all the time.
取悦学生们 Makes the...table look more festive,
让七彩糖球混在一起 and the kids enjoy it.
The yellow and green and purple rolling around.
增添教室的色彩 The table's more colorful and...
我改天再来好了 Would another time be better? l could always...
不，别开玩笑了 我正好有时间谈话 No, no, don't be ridiculous.
l'm between classes and l got a minute to chat.
有什么事吗？ (GUM BALLS SCATTERING)
How can l help you?
我是卡洛佩蒂 Hi. l'm Carla Purty.
佩蒂小姐，你好 Hello, Miss Purty.
我是研究生目前教化学 l'm a grad student.
l'm teaching my first chemistry class across the hall.
我想自我介绍一下 Okay.
l just had to come over and introduce myself.
因为我非常仰慕你的研究 l've followed your work for many years,
and l'm a big fan.
谢谢你，我受“胖”若惊 Well, thank you very much. l'm fatter...
受宠若惊 Flattered that you've been following my work
你对我的研究感兴趣 the way you have.
化学教师，化学是很重要的 A chemistry teacher.
Chemistry sure is important to have...chemistry...
化学的理论与应用
to have and use it.
化学方法 Chemically... Chemistry.
Well...
可伦教授，很荣幸认识你 (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) lt's been a pleasure meeting you.
是我的荣幸 Oh, the pleasure was all mine, Miss Purty.
希望会再见面 And hope to see you around.
你一定会见到我的 Well, you can't miss me.
(CHUCKLES)
祝你愉快 Have a good day.
佩蒂小姐，也祝你愉快 You do the same, Miss Purty.
Mmm-mmm.
她真漂亮，漂亮极了 (DOOR CLOSES)
Now, that's fine. She's fine.
(GUM BALLS SCATTERING)
(LAUGHING)
太好了，全家团圆聚餐 Oh, this is so fabulous.
Ain't nothing like getting together with family and having a good meal.
克利，接着碗 Cletus, take this bowl. lt's hot.
我饿了 PAPA: God damn, Sherman,
好久不见，很高兴见到你 it's almost like we don't see your ass no more.
你该多花些时间陪家人 Good to see you, Son.
You think you too good
to spend time with your family every now and then?
近来研究比较忙 l've been real busy, Ernie.
我不要马铃薯，会让我放屁 l don't want no potatoes.
Mashed potatoes give me gas.
以前人都会花时间陪家人 ln my day, Sherman,
people used to spend time with they family
尤其在周末假日时 on Sundays and special occasions.
Come around and pay their respects.
错过团圆时光，你会后悔的 You mess around
and miss little Ernie's golden years,
you're gonna be mad at yourself.
他是你侄儿 (BELCHES)
小宝贝肚里有气 Baby's got a little gas.
(COUGHING)
大家快遮盖食物 Here she goes. Y'all better cover your plates.
我要薄荷润喉 妈，喝点水吧 Mama, have some water.
祖母，你喷到我了！ (MUTTERING) Grandma, you spit on me.
你再乱嚷嚷，小心我踹你 What you talking about, covering your plates?
Not tonight, Cletus. l'll kick your ass.
我做那么多菜 你只吃一点？ Sherman, l cooked all this food.
吃掉，别剥它的皮 ls that all you gonna eat?
You supposed to eat that, not scalp it.
爸，鸡的热量都在皮上 Daddy, all the calories in the chicken
are found in the skin.
胡说！什么怪理论！ Where all the calories is?
都是电视害的 You know where that come from? Watching that damn TV.
打开电视尽是减肥广告 Every time you turn it on
somebody talking about lose weight, get healthy.
每个人都像得了厌食症 Everybody looking all anorexic,
talking about that's healthy.
我不明白为什么要减肥 l know what healthy is.
And l don't know why everybody trying to lose weight
每个人生来就不同嘛 in the first place!
Ain't everybody supposed to be the same size.
大个子、中等、小个子 什么人都有 We're all different.
Big, small, medium, midgets. You supposed to have all that.
为什么要一个样？就像欧普 Everybody wants to be the same size,
瘦成那样子 like that Oprah Winfrey.
She gonna lose her weight.
为什么？她以前很性感 Wasn't nothing wrong with her. She was fine. Oprah was a fox!
瘦了后变成大头 皮肤松垮垮 She lose all that weight, her head look all big.
还有路德本来长得多福态 And Luther Vandross.
Nigger used to be the black Pavarotti.
瘦了后难看死了 Lost all that weight, looking all ashy.
欧普、路德 都该保持原有身材 Oprah and Luther need to keep their ass one weight,
希望欧普无恙 她看来不健康 'cause l'm confused.
Yes, l hope nothing's wrong with Oprah.
她好得很 我在电视上看到她 She doesn't look well.
There ain't nothing wrong with Oprah.
l seen Oprah on Hard Copy last week.
很健康！ 还交了帅又高的男友 Was the picture of health.
Got her a tall, young, strong gentleman named Steadman.
我爱的明星还有珍娜琼丝 So handsome.
(SINGING) Amazing grace
She's my favorite out of all of them.
玛琳凯金、摩儿波薇 Jenny Jones, Marilyn Kagan,
(SINGING CONTINUES) Maury Povich.
赖特曼、雷诺 Letterman, Leno.
孟迪尔、瑞基雷克 Montell, Ricki Lake...
我喜欢葛拉多 麦克道格拉斯 l like Geraldo.
麦克的节目看得我心花怒放 他的节目令我心花怒放 Mike Douglas. Oh, Mike Douglas.
You know, Mike Douglas used to make me moist
when l'd watch his show.
l admit it.
Only white man ever did that to me was Mike Douglas.
唯一让我动情的白人就是他
我自愿了结这老太婆的命 l would like to volunteer
to take this old bird out of her misery.
克利，不准这么说妈！ Cletus! Don't you dare say that about Mama.
你不用保护我，克利，来啊 GRANDMA: No, no, hold it.
You ain't gotta protect me from Cletus. Come on, Cletus.
来，过来啊！走几步就到了 Come on over here.
lt ain't but a short walk. Come on over.
过来啊！然后
你会跛着脚走回去 You gonna limp back.
You'll walk over, but you're limping back.
别以为我老了，我可不好惹 But don't let the gray hair fool you.
你就是不运动，该去运动 l ain't no easy win, nigger.
Your problem is, you don't work out.
你看我，全身是肌肉 Look. That's all muscle.
你是胖，我是壮 Oh. ERNIE: You fat. l'm muscle.
我的小宝贝是大力士 再表演一次 Oh, look at my little b... He's a little Hercules.
Show me your muscles again.
大力士 Oh, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules, Hercules!
运动能加速新陈代谢 Once you work out,
your metabolism starts to speed up,
你可以尽情的吃 吃吧，增加能量 you can eat anything you want.
你好壮 He's so strong.
研究显示有些人特别容易胖 Recent studies have shown that certain people
are genetically predisposed to gaining weight.
将来也许能找到解决之道 Someday we might even find a cure.
研究你的屁股就好了 Only thing you need to study is your ass.
我有个大屁股，你妈也一样 l got a big ass. Your mama got a big ass.
克利 你有大屁股，全家都是 Cletus! You do have a big ass.
Asses is big in our family.
认命吧，不论你怎么节食 You need to get used to that.
l don't care what diet you go on.
就算你不吃还是一样胖 You can sew up your stomach and your asshole,
科学日新月异不断突破 you gonna always be fat.
All l'm trying to say is scientific breakthroughs
are occurring all the time...
你只能突破你的裤裆 The only thing about to break through
is your ass through the seat of your pants.
夏曼 Sherman, l think l do remember
听电视上说洗结肠不错 hearing something on TV about colon cleansing.
据说每个人都该试一试 我也想去清洗肠子 They say everyone should have one.
l'm thinking about getting me an appointment
and getting my colon cleansed thoroughly.
你想清洗肠子？我来清我的 You want your colon cleansed? l'm gonna clean mine.
我的肠子清干净了 干干净净 (LOUD FART)
There. Now my colon is clean. Squeaky clean.
拜托 大家在吃饭，别放屁好吗？ Every time we have a meal, you break gas.
是你说要清肠子的 Don't break gas and destroy our meal.
You the one that brought up colon cleansing!
我可没叫你放屁 l did not say anything about breaking gas!
说屁眼塞管子 却不准我放屁？ You can talk about putting a tube in somebody's ass,
我又没那么说 but l can't break wind.
l didn't say nothing about putting a hose up nobody's ass...
难不成是将肛门送洗车厂？ What you think a colonic is?
You think you run your asshole by the car wash?
你害孩子噎到了 我养家，爱怎么做都行 You're choking the baby.
As long as l pay the bills, l do what l want at this table.
Case in point:
谁在叫我？ (LOUD FART)
若你的名字是 Who that called my name?
Yeah, l called you if your name is...
(LOUD FART)
尽管侮辱我 Keep insulting me.
我用这把刀插入你屁眼里 l'll toss this between the crack of your ass.
我能放一晚的屁 l can go all night.
我希望你的肛门脱落 (LOUD FART)
l hope you fart till your asshole falls out.
(CONTINUES FARTING)
(LAUGHING WILDLY)
小宝贝也放屁了 (LOUD FART)
Oh, my baby too!
(LOUD FART)
看你害得我弄脏裤子了 Now see what you made me do?
God damn it, l messed up my pants.
爸，真是的！ 你自己洗裤子 Damn, Daddy. You got to clean them yourself!
You rotten.
(ERNIE JR. CONTINUES LAUGHING)
今晚真是棒极了 Oh, Lord, this has been a fabulous, wonderful, fabulous evening.
狗又咬破垃圾袋了 Look. Them dogs done tore up my garbage.
克利，狗又咬破垃圾袋了 Cletus, the dog's ripped open the garbage again!
宰了那些狗 我才不要 PAPA: Shoot the damn dog! l'm not shooting no dog!
我正在看电视！ l'm trying to watch Roseanne!
谢谢你的晚餐 Thanks for dinner, Mama.
夏曼，你怎么了？ Sherman, what's wrong with you?
因为你爸爸说的话？ Baby, you still worried
about what your father said in there?
儿子，你是独一无二的 Oh, Son, listen to me.
You are special.
上帝造了内外皆美的你 When the good Lord made you,
he made you beautiful inside and out.
你什么都能达成 You can do anything, Sherman.
相信自己，你一定会成功的 All you got to do is believe in yourself
and you can do anything.
(CHUCKLING)
你好帅啊 You're so handsome.
甜心，亲一个 Give me some sugar.
妈，我爱你 我也爱你，晚安 Love you, Mama. Love you too, baby.
Nighty-night. Oh, my baby.
妈，我爱你 我也爱你，晚安 Sherman, Sherman, Sherman.
夏曼
太好了！ Fabulous.
克利来清理垃圾 Cletus, come clean this garbage up!
我在看电视！ l'm watching TV!
快去，懒骨头 GRANDMA: Get your lazy ass up.
你少管闲事 你这个懒浑 Mind your own damn business!
GRANDMA: You lazy mother...
“卡洛佩蒂959号之8”
(DOORBELL RINGS)
教授？ Professor?
Oh. Hi, Miss Purty...
佩蒂小姐，你好
我在做阶梯有氧运动 You caught me in the middle of a little step aerobics l was doing out here.
98、99、100 Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred.
抱歉我从学校查到你住址 l looked your address up in the faculty directory. l hope you don't mind.
我不介意，有什么事吗？ No, not at all.
What can l do for you?
我 Oh, well, l was...
(SIGHS)
我 l was,
若有天晚上 l was wondering if one night if,
若你不忙又饿了 when you weren't busy.
也许你想出去吃东西 You get a little hungry, you might want to, you know...
lf you planned on going out to get something anyway,
若你又不愿独自出门 on an occasion like that, you don't wanna do that alone, so...
教授，你想约我出去吗？ Professor, are you asking me out on a date?
是的 Yes. Yes, l am.
我很愿意 l'd love to.
真的吗？ Really?
真的 Yes.
太好了，地点随你挑 你决定，全听你的！ That's fantastic!
We can go any place you wanna go. Just name it. We'll go there.
去学生常去“尖叫”俱乐部 There's a place my students go to called The Scream?
“尖叫”？ The Scream? l mean, if that's too...
若是你不喜欢 Oh, no, no, no. l love to scream.
不我喜欢“尖叫”
(YELLING)
尖叫有益健康，能清喉咙 (DOG HOWLING)
Screaming's good for you. Cleans the epiglottis.
清痰和黏太恶心了 你决定日期 Get all the phlegm and mucus down. That's disgusting.
星期五？ Just tell me what night.
好极了，星期五晚上8点 How's Friday?
Friday night's perfect. The best night of the week.
星期五8点 Friday night at 8:00.
星期五见，我们去“尖叫” Friday night at 8:00.
l'll see you Friday night. We'll go to The Scream.
好 lt'll be a scream at The Scream.
在“尖叫”里尖叫
到时候见了 All right, Professor, l'll see you then.
佩蒂小姐，晚安 Good night, Miss Purty.
Good night.
好极了！ Yes!
(MUTTERING) Yeah, Friday night at The Scream.
周五夜在“尖叫” (CONTINUES MUTTERING) Gonna scream.
周五夜 Friday night. Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday night.
周五 Friday, Friday, Friday.
(WHISTLING)
我有一个约会 (SINGING) l got myself a date
周五晚上8点 Friday night at 8:··
我绝不会迟到 And l will not be late
她可能是我伴侣 She might be my mate
那就太棒了 That would be so great
棒！ Great, great, great Great, great, great
我等不及了 And l can hardly wait
选谁？泰迪霹 Lilo, Peabo, Lou Rawls, Teddy Pendergrass. Teddy P.
第六首，好极了！ Number six! Yeah!
(MID-TEMPO BALLAD PLAYING)
“关上门” (SINGING ALONG) Close the door
“给你期待已久的” Let me give you what you been waiting for
“宝贝，我的爱诉不尽” 别伤她心，泰迪霹 Baby, l got so much love to give
Don't hurt them, Teddy P!
“献给你我所有的爱” And l wanna give it all to you
“我等了一整天” l waited all day long
“为了想将你拥入怀中” Just to hold you in my arms
“正如同想像中一般” And it's exactly like l thought it would be
“我俩共浴爱河” Me loving you and you loving me
“你快把门关上” Oh, you know you gotta, gotta, gotta close the door...
楼上的，安静一点！ (BANGING) MAN: Shut the hell up up there, God damn it!
威尔森先生，很抱歉 Sorry about that down there, Mr. Wilson!
音乐太大声了 楼上的，安静！ Teddy P turned up a little loud.
音乐太大声了 楼上的，安静！ Quiet down up there!
我们体内都有个瘦的我 There is a thin person inside each and every one of us!
拥抱自己并说 So give yourselves a big hug and say, "Yes, l can! Do that for me..."
我做得到，大家一起说
消赘宝能消除大腿赘肉 Thighmaster Plus is designed to give you better results quicker.
我两周瘦了十磅 多亏美奶昔 l lost ten pounds in two weeks. Thanks, Megashake.
(LUSH ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
(PANTING)
(BOTH MOANING)
(CARLA SCREAMING)
你们并不可悲 LANCE: (ON TV) You're not pathetic!
体重不会自动下降 People, pounds do not lose themselves!
你们必须不停运动 You have to work, work, work! Everybody, up! Come on! Up!
大家一起来，站起来！
大家一起说：我做得到 You too at home! Everybody up and say,
LANCE AND AUDIENCE: "Yes, l can!"
再说一次：我做得到 LANCE: Say it again.
我做得到 (STOMPING) PROFESSOR AND AUDIENCE: Yes, l can! Yes, l can! Yes...
楼上，安静！ MR. WILSON: Quiet down, God damn it! Sorry!
威尔森先生，对不起 Klump, shut up! l can!
可伦，闭嘴！ 我能！ l'm so excited and l just can't hide it
l'm about to lose control and l think l like it
l'm so excited
And l just can't hide it
And l know, l know l know, l know
l know l want you
We shouldn't even think about tomorrow
还饿吗？ Still hungry?
Sweet memories will last a long, long time
We'll have a good time, baby, don't you worry
(BREATHING SHARPLY)
And if we're still playing around
Boy, that's just fine
(STRANGULATED) Help.
Let's get excited
还饿吗？ We just can't hide it
Still hungry?
Oh, no
I know, I know, I know, I know
I know I want you
I want you
也许你该试吃减肥餐 Maybe you should try Jenny Craig.
Oh, I want to love you, feel you
Wrap myself around you
一只手就够了 l want to squeeze you, tease you
One hand on you!
l just can't get enough
And if you move real slow l'll let it go
GROUP: Whoo!
l'm so excited
Ooh-wee And l just can't hide it
No, no, no, no, no
(GRUNTS) Yeah! Yeah!
l know, l know, l know, l know, l know l want you
Yeah!
l want you
Look what you do to me
Yeah!
You got me burning up
Oh-oh-oh-oh now
(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
Baby, l'm so excited
MONTELL JORDAN: (SINGING) This is how we do it
“尖叫”
Come on, come on, come on. Right there.
“我们喜欢这样渡周五夜” This is how we do it
lt's Friday night, and l feel all right
“我觉得好极了”
“舞会在城西举行” The party's here on the west side
So l reached for my 40 and l turned it up...
抱歉 Oh, excuse me. Hey!
教授你好 Professor K, how's it going? l'm good, David.
很好，大卫 怎么会来这里？ What are you doing here?
我有约会 Got a date.
约会？祝好运了 You have a date? Good luck, Professor.
下周见 Yeah, see you next week now.
The guys and l All the gang-bangers
借过 Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry about that.
抱歉 Oh. Oh. Excuse me. Excuse me.
借过
抱歉 Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
(GASPING)
抱歉，借过 Sorry about that. Excuse me.
Sorry about that. Excuse me. Excuse me!
借过
谢谢 Thank you.
教授，这个座位好极了 Wow, these are great seats, Professor.
是的别叫我教授 Oh, yeah. Listen, don't call me Professor.
叫我夏曼好吗？ Call me Sherman, all right? Sherman.
很高兴我们来这里，夏曼 Well, l'm glad we did this, Sherman.
JORDAN: (SINGING) With a different type of swing, you know
Something for the honeys
我也很高兴 So am l.
我也很高兴 So am l!
Something for the honeys
Here's the menu.
Ooh, summertime
“夏天是最美的季节” “我和你携手相伴” No funner time for me to kick it with you
To find something someone...
真的转变了夏莉的基因？ CARLA: So you altered her genes?
对 否则夏莉早上颊鼠天堂了 Yes, yes.
And if l hadn't done it, Shelley would be in hamster heaven right now.
夏曼，你太了不起了 Sherman, you are absolutely amazing.
尽力而为了 We do what we can, you know?
不断尝试，不断努力 Got to keep on trying. Got to keep on pushing.
Something for you and you
And for you and for you.
谢谢各位 Let's go. Let's go.
蒙特裘丹 MAN: Montell Jordan!
他真是太棒了！ They were wonderful.
All right, all right. Let's keep this show rolling.
继续进行节目 Ladies and gentlemen... He was good.
他曾在电视上表演脱口秀 ...you've seen him on Def Comedy Jam many times.
大家热烈鼓掌 欢迎瑞基华尼顿，鼓掌！ Y'all give it up for my man, Reggie Warrington!
Give it up!
(CROWD APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)
JAMES BROWN: (SINGING ON STEREO) Watch me
Watch me. l got it, watch me
他真精力充沛 He sure is animated.
Yeah!
大家好吗？ What's up?
大家好吗？ (CROWD CHATTERING)
l said, "What's up"?
Hey!
女人都去买东西了 Women be shopping, baby.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
女人最爱购物 Women be shopping!
谁也阻挡不了女人购物 You can't stop a woman from shopping, baby!
没错，女人是爱购物 That's true. Women do shop.
看看今天的观众，天啊！ lt is true.
See what we got in here tonight. Oh, my God!
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
她头发卷得过火了 She's unbe-weave-able. Look at this.
像顶着一头薯条卷 Look like a hair full of curly fries.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
看这个小白脸，天啊！ Hey, look at this white dude right here.
到底何谓卷发？ What is a weave exactly? Huh?
(LAUGHING)
糟糕糟透了 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no!
Baby, no! She got more extensions than AT·T.
她的电话线比电信局还多
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND LAUGHING)
抱歉，我去洗手间 Excuse me. l'm gonna go to the rest room.
Oh, boy, l'm hot!
我好红，我真红！ 抱歉，我替你捡 Sorry about that, ma'am. Let me pick that up for you.
(WHOOPS)
今晚的月好圆！ lt's a full moon tonight!
(HOWLING)
我找到藏贺法尸体之处了 l think l found where they hid Jimmy Hoffa!
(LAUGHING) Excuse me.
(CHUCKLING)
真有意思 Yeah, that's a good one there.
哈林区超级肥子，大家瞧！ You got more crack than Harlem. Look at that!
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
他一转身就到了他的生日 Boy's so fat, every time he turns around, it's his birthday!
他要靠回力棒才系得上腰带 Got to put his belt on with a boomerang.
(lMITATING BOOMERANG)
Bang!
Yeah. Okay, all right, now. That's it. You got me.
好了，够了，我认输了
我还没说完呢 No, l ain't got you, yet. Should l get him?
该整他个够吗？ AUDIENCE: Yeah!
该整他个够吗？ Should l get him?
AUDIENCE: Yeah!
他居然带了女人 Oh, look at this. He's with a woman, too.
AUDIENCE: Aw! Oh, no!
天啊！ Who is sucking whose titties over here?
你们到底谁吻谁的胸部
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY)
那胖子上次吻的是炸鸡胸 Last time this brother felt a breast, it was in a bucket of KFC.
脆极了！ Extra crispy!
去海洋世界扮鲸鱼还能赚钱 Every time he goes to Sea World, they pay him!
他的节食餐一定是“慢慢瘦” He must be on that new diet, Slim Slow.
他穿红衬衫小孩们会误以为 “糖胖子”来了！ He go outside with a red shirt on,
and all the kids in the neighborhood say,
"Hey! Kool-Aid!"
Yeah, man, l bet l cut his fat ass open, it'd bleed chocolate milk.
割开他屁股会流出巧克力奶
你看到巧克力棒是啥德行？ What would you do for a Klondike bar?
终于知道谁吃了吉博葛瑞普 Now we know what's eating Gilbert Grape, don't we?
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
夏曼，谢谢你的晚餐 Thank you for dinner tonight, Sherman. That was very sweet.
不客气 You're welcome.
那个说脱口秀的，他 Look, that comic tonight, he was...
夏曼，你是极优秀的人 Sherman, you are a brilliant man.
祝你今晚愉快 You have a pleasant evening.
晚安 Good night.
(KEYS JINGLING)
(DOOR CLOSES)
他的同伴说他是跟猪约会 His fraternity was having this thing called Pig Day.
这是他约我出去的原因 That's the only reason he asked me out.
愚弄你？ To make fun of you? Why do we do this to ourselves?
我们为什么这样待自己？
每当沮丧时就不停的吃 Every time we get depressed, we eat and eat and eat.
对不？你到店里买一堆糖 一转眼整袋糖都吃光了 You go to the store and buy those little candy bars in the bag,
and before you know it, the whole bag is empty.
结果你的感觉就像是空糖袋 Then at the end, you feel just like that bag. Empty inside.
对不对？好了，别难过 (SOBBING) Don't you?
(WOMAN SOBBING) lt's okay. lt's all right. Just get it all out.
痛快的哭吧
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
说“我做得到” 我做得到 Say, "Yes, l can." Say that.
Yes, l can.
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
我们做得到 (SOBBING) Yes, we can.
进广告好吗？ (SOBBING)
Can we go to commercial?
立刻为他进行手术 l want him prepped and ready immediately. Yes, Doctor.
叫马修大夫来，需要他帮忙 Call Dr. Matthews. l'm going to need a lot of help on this one.
动作快！急救程序 Let's move it. You know the routine.
将急救器材移过来，快！ Get that crash cart here stat!
血压140，90增高中 Blood pressure, 14· over 9· and rising.
MAN: We need that lV rig in now!
给我4CC的安贝勺 IV rig coming in.
Give me four cc's of Ambethol. l don't know how much more he can take.
不能再增加药量了 We need the EKG cart in here now.
将心电仪器车推来 Blood pressure, 1·0 over 1 10 and still climbing.
血压？ 180、110
状况如何？ What's the status?
他愈来愈胖，控制不住！ He's getting fatter. We can't stop it.
可恶！ Damn!
血压200、140 Blood pressure, 200 over 140!
我的天啊！ (ALARM BEEPING) Oh, my God!
天！他快爆炸了 He's gonna explode!
快溜啊！ l'm getting out of here!
护士 (WOMAN SCREAMS) Nurse!
等一下 Wait! Wait!
(RUMBLING)
(THUNDERCLAP)
(CROWD SCREAMING)
怎么回事？ What's going on?
(CROWD SCREAMING)
天啊！快离开这里！ Oh, my God! Get out of here! Get out of here!
各位，快逃到山上 Hey, everyone, run for the hills! lt's Fat-zilla!
胖金刚来了
这个金刚有胸部 He look like King Kong with titties.
夏曼，我买了好棒的炸鸡 Sherman! l brought you some nice fried chicken, Sherman.
你看来棒极了 Oh, you look fabulous!
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
(GLASS BREAKING)
(SCREAMS)
(PROFESSOR BURPING)
(BURPING CONTINUES)
(MOANING)
天啊！他要放屁了 MAN: Oh, my God!
He's gonna blow!
(FARTING)
(SCREAMING)
真有你的！太棒了！ Way to go, Son! That's my boy!
不 No!
(GASPING AND PANTING)
Huh?
(BEEPING)
(KEYBOARD KEYS CLICKING)
男性、五尺十寸 体重四百磅
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING QUICKENS)
夏莉，你当实验肥鼠够久了 Shelley, you've been the guinea pig long enough.
试试这药是否真有效 lt's time to see if this stuff really works.
(THUNDERCLAP)
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
(GROANS)
(GROANING)
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
“DNA重新结构” (BEEPING)
“完成” (BEEPING CONTINUES)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Oh! Oh! l'm thin! l'm thin! Look at my cheekbones!
我瘦了！我瘦了！
脸颊骨，看得见脸颊骨了 l have cheekbones! Yes! Look at my chest.
看我的胸膛，看我的胸部！ Look at my breasts. l don't have breasts.
没有赘肉，不用胸罩了 l'm an A cup. l don't need a bra anymore.
天啊！我瘦了 Oh, God, l'm thin! l'm thin!
我瘦了 l'm thin! l'm thin, l'm thin.
衣服松垮垮 (SINGING) Nothing but air there Nothing but air there
大屁股不见了，我好苗条 My ass is gone Now l'm slim, slim, slim
真没想到！ Well, l'll be damned! l can see my dick!
我看得见老二！ My dick! My dick, my dick, my dick!
我的老二
走楼梯，真轻松！ JAMES BROWN: (SINGING) Whoa, l feel good
l can do stairs. l can do stairs.
我是走楼梯专家 l knew that l would now
l am the stair master!
l feel good
喜欢什么款式的衣服？ l knew that l would now
You looking for any kind of clothes in particular?
紧身衣，各式紧身衣 Spandex! All Spandex! Where's the Spandex section?
紧身衣放在哪里？
紧身衣，就是这种！ Oh! Spandex! Like this!
l feel nice
Like sugar and spice
没有胸部赘肉 No titties. No titties.
没有胸部赘肉！ l feel nice
No titties.
不是指你，我没胸部了 Not you, me. l'm talking about me. My titties are gone.
你的胸部很美 Your titties are lovely. What's your name?
你叫什么名字？
没想到我这么瘦！你瘦过吗 l can't believe l'm so thin. l am thin. You ever feel thin?
我好瘦！我好瘦！ l am thin! l am thin. Hey, man, where's the apple pie?
我的苹果派呢？
When l hold you in my arms
l know that l can do no wrong
And when l hold you in my arms
My love won't do you no harm
巧克力棒！来一条！ Tootsie Roll! Get your tootsie!
And l feel nice
(GRUNTING)
Like sugar and spice
So nice, so nice
(GRUNTING CONTINUES)
l got you
我瘦了！ (SHOUTING) l'm thin! l'm thin!
我瘦了！
抱歉 Excuse me.
Hey!
可伦教授在吗？ ls Professor Klump here?
可伦教授，夏曼不在 Professor Klump?
Sherman, Sherman Klump.
派蒂小姐，他有事出去 No, he had to take care of some things, Miss Purty.
这里由我负责 So l'm running this thing here.
我认识你吗？ Do l know you?
你认识我吗？ Do you know me?
夏曼没提过我吗？ (LAUGHS)
Sherman didn't tell you about me?
没有 No.
Oh, man!
夏曼就喜欢抢尽风头 lsn't that like Sherman to hog all the credit?
我是夏曼的知己 l'm Sherman's confidante.
今天见过他吗？ Have you seen him today?
不知那晚回去后他还好吗？ l was wondering if he was all right after everything
that happened at the club the other night.
佩蒂小姐 Oh, Miss Purty, it tore his chunky ass up.
那晚他可气坏了
夏曼这么聪明的人 却没自信心 lt's strange that a man as intelligent as Sherman has no confidence whatsoever.
真受不了！我总是告诉他： Makes me sick sometimes to think...
l'm always telling the man,
要有骨气 抬头挺胸充满自信 "Sherman, no matter what, you've got to strut.
"You got to suck in your gut and strut."
你看，我就没那个烦恼 Me, personally, l don't have that problem.
看来是没有 Doesn't seem like you do.
你美丽又积极 我们该约个会 You're just too feisty and too fine. Me and you need to hook up.
去“尖叫”表现我们的自信心 We need to go to The Scream tonight, have a couple of drinks
and strut our respective stuff together.
我还不知道你名字？ l don't even know your name.
嘿！朋友，怎么回事？ Hey, buddy, what the hell happened here?
大家都认识巴迪，我叫巴迪 See? Everybody knows Buddy.
教授昨晚兴奋过度了 The professor must have got a little carried away last night.
丹警卫，他要我亲自转告你 Oh, Officer Dagg, l'm glad you came up.
谢谢你太太做的蛋糕 真好吃 He told me to tell you personally, please thank your wife Claire
for bringing that upside-down cake for him. He ate every crumb of it.
麻烦找人来清理一下好吗？ And can you have someone from janitorial clean up this mess, please?
谢谢丹警卫，谢谢 Thank you, Officer Dagg. Thank you.
我叫巴迪 (DOOR OPENS) Buddy.
就叫巴迪，姓什么？ Buddy? ls that it, or do you have a last name?
(DOOR CLOSES)
爱 Love.
爱 Love?
派蒂小姐 You see, Miss Purty,
人生总有一个阶段 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) there comes a time in a man's life
when he has to...
(CLEARS THROAT AND COUGHS)
行事趋于 Miss Purty, people have a tendency in life
不经考虑 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) to always want to rush into things.
我想说的是 (lN REGULAR VOICE) What l'm trying to say
这是个好时机 is there's a right time and place for everything.
做任何事的好时机 Like l said, there's a right time and place for everything.
今晚去“尖叫”就太好了 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) Tonight would be a good time.
晚上八点“尖叫”见！失陪 At The Scream would be perfect to discuss it.
l'll see you tonight. Don't be late! Excuse me!
Uh-oh.
(CHATTERING)
早安，各位早安 Good morning. Good morning, class.
早安，各位同学，早安 Morning, students. Good morning!
Morning. Good morning.
今天复习昨天上的课 You students just review what we went over yesterday.
教授，昨天没上课 Professor, we weren't here yesterday.
那就复习前一天的课 Well, then, review the day before, and tomorrow we'll do today.
明天再上今天该上的课
下课 That's it.
(CLASS LAUGHING)
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
夏曼 Sherman!
卡洛，你好吗？ Oh, Carla. How are you?
我找了你一早上，你好吗？ l've been looking for you all morning. Are you okay?
我很好，找我什么事？ l'm fine. Why you looking for me?
那晚的事我很过意不去 是我提议的 l feel bad what happened at the club the other night.
lt was my idea to go to The Scream.
我早忘了，你也忘了吧！ l've forgotten about that. You forget, too.
祝你今天愉快 That's over. Go have a nice day.
还有一件事 我遇到你的朋友 There's something else. l met a friend of yours in your lab.
巴迪爱？ Buddy Love.
巴迪爱，他很特别 Buddy Love.
He's quite a character, huh?
他约我出去说是你建议的 He asked me out, and he said it was your idea.
是吗？你才刚到此地 Oh, did he? Well, l know you're new in town.
也许想认识新朋友 l thought it would be nice
for a new girl to get out, meet some people.
他有魅力吗？ Did you find him attractive?
是的，帅又充满活力 Honestly, yes.
He's very handsome and athletic.
跟你谈他我不太自在 But l don't feel comfortable talking to you about that.
你什么都可跟我谈，真的 You can talk to me about anything. l want you to.
我认为你该跟他约会 And l think you should definitely go out with Buddy Love.
真的？ You do? Absolutely.
当然，你们年轻人 l don't think there's anything wrong with two young people
本来就该出去散散心 getting together and having a good time.
So by all means, do just that.
你不介意？ You sure you're all right with that?
别担心我，我很好 Don't worry about me. l'm just fine.
我还会为你美言几句 ln fact, l'll put in a good word with you for Buddy.
糟糕，我迟到了，失陪 Oh, my goodness. l'm so late. Excuse me. l'll talk to Buddy.
我会跟巴迪说的
You make it hard, long soft, short
And be strokin'
l be strokin'
（PNS=老二） l stroke it to the east and l stroke it to...
(MUSIC CONTINUES lNDISTINCTLY)
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
当心，刮坏车子你就惨了 Now you be careful. lf there's a scratch in the car,
there's a scratch in your ass.
你真好，在这里等我 You are too fine to be giving me curbside service.
不是等你，我要走了 l'm not. l'm leaving.
什么意思？我们刚到 We just got here.
你刚到，我等了快一个小时 No, you just got here. l've been waiting for you for almost an hour.
等待能增进食欲，明白吗？ They say anticipation helps make the appetite grow stronger.
你自己去等吧 Anticipate a night alone.
我们去吃饭，干嘛要走？ Hey, hey. Let's just have a meal together.
要我求你吗？我愿跪地求你 当着大家的面，我不在乎 Why you leaving? You want me to beg?
l'll get down on my knees.
l'll beg you in front of all these people.
Think l care if these people are watching?
对不起 l'm sorry! l'm sorry! l want the world to know that l was late!
让大家知道迟到，对不起 And l'm sorry! My car ran out of gas.
我的车没油了 我在找新内裤 l needed fresh drawers. My mother's sick. The car broke down.
我妈病了，我的车坏了
巴迪，站起来 抱歉，不知今晚怎么的？ Buddy, get up.
做什么事都不顺利 Hear me out. l am sorry!
l don't know why this is happening tonight.
Of all nights this has got to happen to me tonight.
为什么？ Okay. Why? Why?
好了
为什么？ Okay! Why?
好了！
为什么？
好了啦 Okay, okay, okay.
去吃东西吧 Okay. Good. Let's eat.
好饿！弄坏车我会扁你 l am so hungry. Hey, don't let the tears fool you.
l'm a tooth chipper.
六客牛排、五份马铃薯 外加两碗奶油菠菜 Six T-bones, five baked potatoes and two servings of creamed spinach.
没见过像你这么会吃的 l have never seen anyone eat so much.
真幸运还能保持身材 You are so lucky to stay so thin.
这跟运气无关 Luck has nothing to do with it.
因放射缩氨酸 控制了核糖核酸 lt's a matter of recombinant ribonucleic acids
unzipped by a radioactive guanine peptide.
那是什么意思？ What does that mean?
不知道，只想装得很聪明 l don't know. l'm trying to sound extra intelligent.
你还要吃吗？ Got you! You gonna eat that?
你还要吃吗？ Guess who's back in the house.
谁是下位来宾？ From Def Comedy Jam, my man, Reggie Warrington.
电视脱口秀红星
请热烈欢迎瑞基华尼顿
Give it up!
(CHEERING)
我讨厌这傢伙，他可恶极了 l hate this guy. l hate this guy. He is so obnoxious.
再给他一次机会 Give the nigger a chance.
JAMES BROWN: (SINGING) Watch me
你的天下，我只是小人物 lt's your world, dog! l'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
l've got something that makes me wanna shout
大家好吗？ What's up?
你好吗？ What's up, nigger?
大家好吗？ l said, "What's up"?
没听到我打招呼吗？ Didn't you hear me when l say, "Hey"?
女人真爱买东西 Boy, women be shopping. Women be shopping.
女人爱购物，挡都挡不住！ You cannot stop a woman from shopping.
(LAUGHING)
看看今晚有那些客人 Let's see what l got in the house tonight.
这个小白脸，你们看！ Oh, now, look at this white guy right here.
一看就知道他有个小老二 You cannot tell me he ain't got a small jimmie.
小得需要用镊子才能尿尿 Man, it's so small he needs tweezers to take a piss.
用镊子尿尿！ He needs tweezers to take a piss!
用镊子夹住老二 Tweezers on his dick!
瑞基真红啊！你们看！ Reggie's hot tonight.
Look at this. Look at this.
看这个，真有趣
Oh! Oh! Oh! l can't breathe!
我不能呼吸，不能呼吸了 抱歉，老兄 Excuse me, brother.
(GASPING) l can't breathe!
老兄 Okay.
Brother, man!
(WHEEZING)
差点笑死我 You almost killed me, man!
我得将异物逼出 l had to give myself the Heimlich.
别打扰我表演好吗？ You mind waiting for the punch line first, brother?
抱歉，你真太好笑了 l'm sorry. You're so funny.
你专拿别人缺点开玩笑 You're so funny the way you take a person's personal defects
随便抓个人说：看看你的脚 大家就笑瘫了，真有一套 and flip it around.
Like you pick somebody in the room and say, "Look at your foot,"
and everybody look at it and start laughing.
你会红，会大红大紫 That's funny shit. You're on your way!
像低俗笑匠蓝尼布鲁斯 You going to the top! You're the next Lenny Bruce!
谢谢你喜欢我的表演 Why, thank you. Thank you very much.
我用你的方法也能整你 That's genius.
That'd even work with me doing it to you.
大家看瑞基的牙齿 lf l say, look at Reggie's gums and teeth.
看来他妈跟马有不正常关系 His mother had an affair with Mister Ed.
你看大家都笑歪了！ See? Everybody's laughing.
因为 他们想像你妈跟马做那事 They can visualize your mother in a barn with Mister Ed.
(NEIGHING LUSTILY)
看我在做什么？看啊！ Look what l'm doing, Wilbur. Look at me!
你想找我挑战？ You snapping on me?
想找瑞基挑战？ Are you snapping on Reggie?
你的大牙缝让我分不清球门 lt's your teeth, Reggie.
l don't know whether to smile at you or kick a field goal.
瑞基，有效耶 Hey, Reggie! lt's good!
所有缺点都行 lt's all good!
哪来的臭味？这里就闻得到 And, man, what's wrong with that breath? l can smell it over here.
你的口臭 别人还当你放屁了呢 Reggie, your breath is so stink,
people look forward to your farts.
他的口臭像粪一样 Breath smell like shit. Do you smell shit?
我闻到粪味 l smell shit.
你惹火我了 Oh! Oh! You done did it now, boy.
我不回嘴，因为我喜欢黑人 l wasn't gonna say nothing 'cause l like black people.
反击时间到了 But it's time to attack black.
没错，等着接招吧 That's right. The glove's coming off.
别伤害我 Don't hurt me now!
瑞基要拿你老妈开刀 Maybe it's time for Reggie to lay into your mama.
(CROWD CHEERS)
Oh! Oh, yeah!
该瑞基羞辱你老妈了 Maybe it's time for Reggie to talk about your mama a little bit.
瑞基，你最行了！ You're the man, Reggie!
你老妈胖得不得了 Your mother's so fat,
她去时时乐能获得团体优待 she went to Sizzler's, and the bitch got a group discount.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(HYSTERICAL LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
好，胖子笑话！ (SCREAMING AND GASPING) Okay, fat jokes!
想谈胖子笑话？ You want to do fat jokes? All right.
你老妈胖得不得了 Your mother's so fat,
她需要地图才找得到屁眼 the bitch need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole!
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
你老妈胖得不得了 All right! Wait, wait, wait. Your mother's so fat,
做完爱我滚两圈还在她身上 after sex l rolled over twice, and l'm still on the bitch!
你老妈胖得不得了 (LAUGHING CONTINUES)
她卡在大峡谷里 Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
瑞基的老妈好胖 Reggie's mama's so fat,
要送去修车场喷擦脚指甲油 that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib!
修车场 Earl Scheib!
低级修车场 Earl Scheib!
下台去！没人请你上来 Hey, hey, get off the stage, man. You ain't in show business.
瑞基老妈胖得不得了 Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road!
她的血型是综合冰淇淋
瑞基老妈胖得不得了 lsn't that something?
Reggie's mother is so fat, her belt size is equator!
她的腰围是赤道尺寸
(HOOTING AND CHEERING)
赤道 Get it? Equator?
(BUDDY LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
瑞基老妈的屁股好大 他老爹在上面慢跑 Let's get a big round of applause for Reggie's mama's ass
that brought us so much joy tonight.
Yeah! That's a big ass.
够了！安静！ Enough! Silence!
我受够了！ l can't take this shit no more.
别再拿我开玩笑 Now, you done talked about me enough, boy!
给你几分颜色 l tried to be peaceful, but now it's time for Reggie
你还当我怕你
to karatasize your ass!
(WHOOPS)
Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHING)
我见过爆爆头 但是大粪头？ Oh, Reggie, l heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks?
那不是你的头发 That's not your hair. Take that pile of shit off your head.
拿掉假发，笑死人了
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) You... You go too far with the comedy.
来啊！来 干什么？ (KARATE YELL)
Oh, oh! Come on! Come on.
来接我几招 What's that? Oh, yeah, it's my style, boy.
这是哪一招？ You didn't know Reggie studied.
揍扁你招，街上学的 What style is that?
This is called "Kick-Your-Ass Style," boy.
Oh, shit.
来啊！ Reggie done studied on the streets. Oh! Come on!
(KARATE YELL)
Oh! Oh!
(AUDIENCE GASPS AND CHEERS)
(LAUGHING)
你很快，但我更敏捷 Oh, you quick, but l'm quicker.
出招吧 Watch my feet. Come on with it!
l'm gonna come on with it. l'm gonna...
(KARATE YELLS)
REGGIE: Oh, damn!
各位 (AUDIENCE GASPS)
我们想唱一曲娱乐大家 Ladies and gentlemen,
me and Reggie want to send one out
to a very special lady in the house tonight.
“爱你” (PIANO PLAYING)
“很容易，因为你美丽” (SINGING) Lovin' you is easy, 'cause you're beautiful
Do-un-do-un-doo-doo. Reggie?
瑞基 (BONES CRACK)
(HOWLING)
唱得很好 Let go. That was pretty.
各位，瑞基要下台了 Ladies and gentlemen, Reggie has left the building.
谢谢大家，晚安 Thank you, and good night.
(CHEERING)
别拍手了，谢谢 Oh, stop it! Stop it! Now, thank you so much. Thank you.
别拍手了，请别激动 Thank you so... Oh, please, please, come on now.
谁捏我屁股？别闹了！ Hey, who pinched my ass? Cut it out. That's good.
谢谢，帮我结帐好吗？ 谢谢，非常感激 All right. Thank you. Can you get the bill for me?
Thanks, man. Too much!
太惊人了，没想到你做到了 That was amazing. l can't believe you did that.
惊人就是我的名字 Amazing is my middle name.
希望可伦教授能亲眼见到 l only wish Professor Klump was here to have seen it.
听好 Listen.
我们独处时光别谈夏曼 This is our moment. l don't wanna ruin it with talks of Sherman.
你的眼神似曾相识 You know, your eyes, there's something very familiar about them,
好像我们早就相识 as if l already know you.
我也有这种感觉 You know, l feel the exact same way about you, Miss Purty.
(BALLAD PLAYING ON SOUND SYSTEM)
佩蒂小姐 Miss Purty, let me tell you.
那个吻是我吻过最棒的 (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) That kiss was probably
the most wonderful kiss l've ever...
我想说的是 (CLEARS THROAT)
What l meant to say was that...
你的嘴 Your lip. What?
怎么了？ 你的嘴肿起来了 Your lip is swollen. My lip?
我的嘴？ 是的 Yes.
我的嘴，是因为 Oh, my lip? Oh.
你擦哪个牌子的口红？ That happens every time l...
香奈尔 What kind of lipstick do you have on?
对，我对香奈尔口红过敏 Chanel. That happens every time
l have Chanel lipstick on my lips. An allergic reaction.
还会让我放屁 (RUMBLING)
你先走吧，我得去药房 Oh. lt's giving me gas, too. You have to go catch a cab.
l gotta go to the drugstore and get some Benadryl and Kaopectate.
祝你晚安，再见 Excuse me, have a pleasant evening. Bye, bye!
巴迪，等一下！ Buddy! Buddy, wait!
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
“夏曼可伦” 可伦教授在这里？ Oh, man.
他在哪里？ Hey, Professor Klump is here? Yeah.
那里 Where is he?
There he is, right there.
那傢伙给你这张信用卡？ That guy gave you this credit card?
他不是可伦教授 Yup.
那不是他的信用卡 什么？ That's not Professor Klump.
That's not his credit card. Hey!
What?
Hey! Hey!
你怎么有可伦教授信用卡？ Okay, fella, what are you doing with the Professor's credit card?
Where'd you get it?
抱歉，你也许急需用钱 l'm sorry. Perhaps you need the money more than l thought...
(JASON GROANS)
天啊！ JASON: (SCREAMING) Oh, my God!
(SCREAMING)
我的天！大巴士！ Oh, my God! That's a bus!
你会害死我们，搞什么？ You're gonna kill us, man! What the hell is the matter...
糟糕，你被恶鬼附身了 Oh, man! This is Freddy Krueger shit, man!
教授？ Professor?
杰森 Hello, Jason.
怎么回事？ JASON: (SCREAMING) What's happening?
(SIREN WAILING)
头一次没发生车祸 却用这工具 First time we had to use one of these without an accident.
学生二十分钟前就走了 The class left 20 minutes ago.
校长 Dean Richmond! Oh, hello, sir.
我正在做一种教学实验 研究学生的反应
You caught me in the middle of an experiment l was doing.
l was trying to see how the students would respond to a teacher-less environment.
在没老师的环境里
没老师的环境？新研究？ Teacher-less environment? New field of research for you?
是的 Yes, sir.
有意思，有结果通知我 lnteresting. Always thinking.
对了，能解释一下吗？ That's good, Klump. Let me know your results.
Would you mind explaining this?
“跑车2000元” Oh! Yeah, well, my car's in the shop, so...
我的车送修所以
所以车款用学校支出报帐？ So you put a $47,000 luxury car on your faculty account.
本来想租便宜的，但没租到 lnitially, l... l requested a Yugo, and this is all they had...
这么说来我们都别想上路了 lf it's all they had, it's all they had.
After all, men like us can't walk around now, can we?
得了 (CHUCKLING) Come on.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
你真有肚量 我以为你会生气 Oh, well, well. l'm glad you're taking it like that, sir.
会大吼甚至开除我 l thought you was gonna get angry and start screaming
and hollering, and maybe even fire me.
夏曼，我们真不了解对方 (LAUGHING) Whoo! Oh, Sherman, Sherman.
ln the end we know so little of each other, hmm?
我有更重要的事 No, my friend, l've got bigger fish to fry. l spoke to Harlan Hartley.
记得何林哈利吗？
那个捐助研究经费的人？ He's offering that tiny trinket that could save your entire research program.
当然记得 Oh, yes. Absolutely.
你们约好，他要听研究报告 l set up a meeting with him.
He wants to hear your grant proposal personally.
星期五晚上8点在丽士饭店 Friday, the Ritz, dinner, 8:00 sharp.
真是好主意 Well, sir, l think that's a wonderful idea, sir. Absolutely.
保证不会令你失望 And l promise you, l will not let you down.
一定的 你会赴约并有好表现 l know you won't.
而且是最完美的表现 l know you're going to be there and you're going to be great.
ln fact, l know you're going to be perfect.
想知道我怎么知道的？ 怎么知道的？ (LAUGHING)
Do you know how l know?
因为你若表现不佳 How's that?
'Cause if you're not perfect,
别管什么大吼开除的 不论出任何差错 never mind the yelling and the screaming and the firing.
lf anything goes wrong for any reason, l'm going to kill you.
我要杀了你
不是开玩笑，我会杀了你 l don't mean that as a euphemism. l'm going to literally kill you.
我会勒住你 l'm going to strangle you and choke off your air supply
掐住你气管直到你窒息
until you pass away.
好的 (EXCLAIMS) Okay.
星期五见了？ Till Friday, then.
说定了 lt's a date.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
不可思议 新陈代谢完全转变 Sir, this is incredible.
lt's... lt's a complete metabolic transformation.
怎么回事？是意外？ How did it happen? Was it an accident?
不，我故意的 No, l did it to myself, Jason.
真的？为什么？ You did? Why?
为奖助金？ 夏莉的资料就够了 lf it was for the grant, the data with Shelley was already so compelling.
我有私人的原因 Well, l have compelling reasons of my own, Jason.
我非常迷恋佩蒂小姐 l have a case of infatuation of sorts with Miss Purty.
喜欢她怎么不告诉她？ Professor, if you feel this way about Carla, why don't you tell her?
总比变身好，那傢伙 lt'd be a lot simpler than transforming into...
他的男性荷尔蒙过盛 This guy's testosterone levels are right off the charts.
他昨晚好凶，完全不像你 He was mean last night. lt was so unlike you.
我也感觉到了 You know, l did feel that.
你无法控制他 Sir, you can't control him.
你不明白变成他的感觉多棒 Jason, you have no idea what it feels like to be Buddy Love.
难以形容，棒透了！ lt's indescribable. lt's just wonderful!
别人对他的态度 The way people talk to him and treat him, and the way she looks at him.
卡洛看他的眼神
他是危险人物 But he's dangerous. He almost killed us last night.
差点害死我们
重点该放在 取得哈利的奖助金 We should be concentrating on getting the grant proposal to Harlan Hartley.
这太疯狂了 This is nuts!
你说得对，我不该这样做 l guess you're right, Jason. l never have behaved like this before.
从另个角度来看 But on the other hand,
我从没恋爱过 l've never been in love before.
从没有 Ever.
卡洛，午安 Afternoon, Carla.
夏曼 Hi, Sherman.
你好吗？ How are you doing today?
很好 Pretty good.
你跟巴迪处得还好吗？ l come over to see how things were going with you and Buddy.
我也不知道 l wish l knew.
昨晚的约会棒极了 We went out last night. lt was great. We had such a wonderful time.
他却突然跑出俱乐部 And then all of a sudden he runs out of the club.
他还过敏了 He has some allergic reaction.
我不知道他是否无恙 l don't even know if he's all right.
他很好，今早我们谈过话 他的嘴用冰敷就消肿了 He's fine.
He told me that his lip swelled up,
he put ice on it and the swelling came down.
他有没有提到我？ 他为什么不打电话给我？ Kinda strange, huh?
Well, did he even ask about me?
Did he say why he didn't call me and let me know he was all right?
巴迪这个人不太可靠 Carla, Buddy's kind of unreliable.
他属于朝三暮四型 He's kind of what you call
a "here today, gone tomorrow" kind of fellow.
我懂了 Oh, l see. Mmm-hmm.
是他要你转告回绝我 So he had you talk to me because he's not interested anymore.
不，不是这样的 No, it's nothing quite like that. Look.
我尝过这种滋味，没关系 l know what it feels like to be brushed off, and it's okay.
都是我的错 This is all my fault.
我不该鼓励你跟他约会 l should've never encouraged you to go out with Buddy.
夏曼，你对我很好 Sherman, you have been so sweet.
只有忘掉他了 l'll just have to forget about him. l'll see you later.
再见
卡洛 Carla.
我想谈谈我们的事 l was wondering if
l could talk to you about you and l, for a second.
只要一下子 l was...
我想问你有没有空 l was wondering what you were doing later,
'cause the family gonna get together.
我的家庭聚餐日 She made a meal
丰盛的晚餐，大家一起吃 and we gonna be eating, so l figured
if you not doing anything for dinner,
若晚上没事，希望你能来 we'd love to have you, if you want to come over for dinner.
跟我们一起享用晚餐 We'd love to have you over for dinner.
我很愿意 l'd love to.
真的？ Would you, now?
是的 Yes, l would.
要预先通知以免食物不够？ Should we call and make sure there's going to be enough food?
绝对不用担心 l don't think that's going to be a problem.
太好了，全家团聚一堂 (ALL CHATTERING)
MAMA: There's nothing like being with family!
我饿了，快一点 GRANDMA: l am hungry. Come on, now.
卡洛，你家乡在哪？ Carla, where are you from?
芝加哥 Chicago.
我们有亲戚住芝加哥 Oh, Chicago! We have family there.
风城芝加哥 PAPA: Windy city, huh?
我有一次在高楼做工 l was working on a skyscraper in Chicago once,
我的午餐被吹落27楼底 and my lunch blew off the 27th floor.
你就会记掉三明治这种蠢事 Yeah, l figure your fat ass would remember
somebody's sandwich flying off a building.
来吃点面包 (LOUD BELCH)
佩蒂小姐 你跟夏曼有一腿吗？ Oh, baby, eat some bread.
Miss Purty, are you and Sherman having relations?
好问题 TOGETHER: That's a good question.
祖母，没那回事 我们是同事 No, Grandma.
lt's not like that. We're colleagues.
我们一起工作 Oh. PROFESSOR: We just work together.
开始都是这样 That's how it start out colleagues.
我跟你祖父就是同事 Me and your grandfather was colleagues.
没多久他就趴在我同事身上 Next thing you know he's on top of me in the shed, pumping and a-sweating.
你别乱说 lt's not like that.
夏曼，你闭嘴 PAPA: Will you hush up?
你从不带女友回来 让我们跟她聊聊 He's never brought a girl home.
The least you can do is let us talk to her.
我对她很感兴趣 Yeah, l'd like to get to know her a little better myself.
有一腿有啥了不起？ 那是好事 Ain't nothing wrong with having relations. Don't be ashamed of that.
我年轻时男朋友一大堆 Relations is beautiful.
When l was young l used to always have relations.
每个晚上都有男士送花 Every night, if a nice gentleman bring me flowers and candy,
带我去看电影 take me to a movie, show me a lovely evening,
渡过美好的夜晚
我带他回家 发生热辣辣的关系 then l would take him home and give him hot, lovely relations.
那是很美的事，没必要害羞 Relations is a beautiful thing.
lt's nothing to be ashamed of.
尤其是两个年轻人 Especially two young people.
因为你是娼妓 当我寂寞时，我“自得其乐” That blowhole.
Cletus!
Sometimes when l'm alone, l relate to myself.
我也会 l can relate.
妈 Oh, Mama.
我吃饭时不要听这种屁话 l don't wanna hear this shit while l'm eating.
克利！别那样跟妈说话 我宰了你 MAMA: Cletus!
卡洛，你喜欢小孩吗？ (WHISPERING) l'm gonna kill you later.
喜欢 太好了，我等不及抱孙子 Carla, do you like children? Yes.
Oh, that's wonderful.
l can't wait for Sherman to bring me home some grandbabies.
你很会生小孩 ERNIE: l know you're gonna enjoy making them babies.
因为你的翘屁股 Got those childbearing hips.
一下子就生出来了 (CLEARS THROAT) Baby'll pop right out.
你们家有钱吗？ 我不付铺张婚礼开销 (MAKES POPPING SOUND)
Your family got any money? l ain't paying for no big-ass wedding.
我认识好牧师 你信什么教？ l know a wonderful minister.
我结婚礼服还在，要的话 我改小一点，你穿很漂亮 What religious background are you?
l still got my wedding dress. lf you want it, l'll take it in.
You'd look so lovely in it. lt's white though.
是白色的，你仍是处女吗？
Can you wear a white wedding dress, young lady?
夏曼，你能穿白礼服 Now, Sherman, you can wear a white tuxedo.
告诉你，夏曼还是处男 'Cause you know Sherman,
(WHISPERING) Sherman has never had relations.
妈，别让我儿子难堪 Mama, you gonna embarrass my baby.
希望你的背够强壮 GRANDMA: l hope you got a strong back.
若嫁给像他这么大的男人 MAMA: Oh, look at my baby blushing.
When you get all that man, and release all that
当他释放囤积35年的精力 他不断的欲望 that's been built up for 35 years.
Just wanting and wanting and wanting!
会把你的头都炸掉 (EXCLAIMS) Might make your head blow off.
炸上九重天 Pop goes the weasel!
说得我都口干心跳了 l got my own self hot telling that story.
炸上九重天，一飞冲天！ Pop goes the weasel, 'cause the weasel say "pop!"
在这里还是芝加哥结婚？ You gonna get married here, or in Chicago?
你会做饭吗？ 要喂饱我的夏曼 MAMA: Do you cook? 'Cause somebody's got to feed my Sherman.
我知道大街上一个教堂 但不收女同性恋 Yeah, l know a wonderful church down there on Main Street,
but they won't marry you if you're a lesbian.
我并非排斥女同性恋 我喜欢女同性恋 Not that l have anything against lesbians. l love lesbians.
亲亲抱抱不伤害任何人 Lesbians is cool.
There's nothing wrong with a little bingo.
A little cunnilingus ain't never hurt nobody.
为什么 由女方决定在哪结婚？ Why is it the woman always gets the choice where they're gonna be married?
这是传统 Tradition. Tradition, my ass!
狗屁传统 我才不付去芝加哥的机票 l ain't gonna pay for everybody flying to no Chicago!
小气鬼 You know how much plane tickets cost?
我们开车去 You cheap bastard.
我才不要开车去 那你就走路或骑脚踏车去 PAPA: We're gonna have to drive down there.
l'm not driving over to Chicago.
夏曼要有性经验 夏曼要有性经验了 (SINGING) Sherman gonna have relations
我儿子才不要 是吗？ My baby's not getting married.
又来了！在女士面前放屁 (LOUD FART)
There you go again,
popping off gas in front of this lovely young lady.
我们在吃饭 We're trying to have a meal. Put that brake on this gas.
希望你屁眼变成只青蛙 有屁就要放啊
l hope your ass turn into a frog.
没人要听你放屁 Don't nobody want to hear your flatulence, Cletus Klump.
你真丢脸 我绝不要忍着不放 (LOUD FART)
MAMA: You're such a disgrace!
你快道歉！ PAPA: l stopped holding my gas a long time ago.
再说一个字 MAMA: You spoiled the dinner!
(ERNIE JR. LAUGHING) PAPA: Say one more word.
(CHATTERING CONTINUES)
(BELL TOLLING)
卡洛，我代家人向你道歉 他们误会了 Listen, Carla,
l want to apologize about my family back there.
不，我才该道歉 抱歉我表现得这么疏远 l think they got the wrong idea about things.
Oh, no. l should apologize.
l'm so sorry if l seemed distant tonight.
我还是忘不了巴迪 l still have Buddy on my mind.
你真的喜欢巴迪？ You really care for Buddy, huh?
不确定，他的外表 既骄傲又无礼 l don't know.
l mean, on the outside, he seems so cocky and brash.
但他眼中我看到温暖仁慈 这部份是我最感兴趣的 But when l look in his eyes, l see kindness, l see warmth.
And that's the side of Buddy l wanted to get to know.
我真是冲昏头了 又再度跟你提起巴迪 l just got way ahead of myself.
And here l am, talking your ear off once again about Buddy.
没关系，真的 No, it's quite all right, really.
Listen, Carla,
别担心巴迪的事 don't you worry about Buddy.
我会替你找到他 l'll find him for you.
夏曼，谢谢你 Thank you, Sherman.
谢谢你做我的好朋友 Thank you for being such a good friend to me.
好朋友 A good friend.
晚安 Good night.
(SIGHS)
(LOUD CRASHING)
教授？ Professor?
是你吗？ ls that you? l just finished the grant proposal.
我刚完成研究报告
没见过穿小丑裤的人吗？ What's the matter with you?
黑人不能露营吗？ Never seen a brother wearing a circus tent before?
等一下，你不行 我们说好的 Black man can't go camping?
Now, wait a minute, you... You can't be you.
We agreed that you wouldn't do this.
总要有人替他打点性生活 他快想疯了 Someone has to tend to chunky butt's sex life.
失陪 Chunky butt is extremely horny. Excuse me.
但他今晚跟哈利约好了 But Professor Klump has a meeting tonight with Harlan Hartley at the Ritz.
我会去但我对科学没兴趣 l'm gonna be at the Ritz tonight, but it will not be in the interest of science.
不！我不能让你走！ No! l can't let you go.
教授！ Professor!
若你在里面听得见我 lf you're in there and you can hear me, come out!
快出来！
教授，听我说 Professor, listen to me. The testosterone levels are way too high.
他的荷尔蒙过高 你控制不了
You can't control him.
(WHEEZING)
(GROANING AND MOANING)
杰森，我是夏曼 Oh! Jason! What?
我从巴迪身体里跟你说话 (GASPING) lt's me, Sherman.
l'm talking to you from deep down inside Buddy Love.
听仔细，趁现在我控制住他 Listen to me closely. Go in the back room while l'm holding him
快去里面拿凝浆来 and get the coagulant serum off the back shelf!
储藏室吗？ ln the storage closet? Yes, Jason!
是的 l got it! Hurry, Jason!
知道了 快！时间急迫
知道了 动作快！ l got it! We don't have much time. Let's move!
拿到了 教授
(YELLS)
(MANIACAL LAUGHING)
Professor! Professor!
我今晚与爱有约，晚安！ l have an appointment with love! Good night, hamster boy!
不！教授 (POUNDING ON DOOR) No, Professor!
(SCREAMING)
抱歉没打电话 近来神智不清 "Sorry l haven't phoned, but l haven't been myself lately.
晚上共进晚餐，巴迪爱 "Join me for dinner. Buddy Love.
附上近照一张希望你喜欢 "P.S. l've enclosed a wallet-sized photo for your enjoyment."
(CHUCKLING)
“丽士餐厅” (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
巴迪，这里真华丽 Buddy, how can l stay mad at you? This is gorgeous!
亮丽的人要去华丽的地方 You're gorgeous and l'm gorgeous,
我去拿房间钥匙 so we should be in gorgeous surroundings.
等一下 Let me get the room key.
房间？我没说要跟你去房间 你说要共进晚餐 Wait. Hold it.
l didn't say anything about going to any room with you.
You said you were taking me to dinner.
你说什么？你以为 What are you talking about? Oh, you think that... Oh!
天啊！别误会了 Oh, my... Hey, hey, hey. Slow down.
我只想跟你独处 l just want to spend some time with you, by ourselves.
不想在这么多陌生人的地方 我只想与你独处共餐 l don't want to share you with these people. l want to eat, alone, quiet.
我无意侵犯你 l would never disrespect you. l'm a puppy dog.
我很安全的
请给我房间钥匙 Please, can l go get this room?
好吗？ (BARKS QUIETLY)
好 Yes? Yes.
我宰了他，可能他的车坏了 l'd throw him in the river with a Buick tied to his neck.
派蒂小姐 He'd probably drag the car down.
理奇蒙校长 Miss Purty. Purty! Dean Richmond.
你见到可伦教授吗？ 他迟到了 Have you seen Professor Klump? He's 40 minutes late.
若哈利走了 一千万就泡汤了 lf Harlan Hartley walks out that door, $10 million goes with him.
我得用身体挡住他的车 Oh, Lord. l'm gonna have to lay down in front of his car.
你知道夏曼的研究 你代替他 Let's go. Buddy, you know Sherman's research.
He's late for a meeting. Fill in for him.
好主意 他知道夏曼的研究？ No, it's a nice thought, but he'd have to know Sherman's research.
You know Sherman's research? Who are you?
你是谁？ You might say l'm a visiting professor
我是代理教授 打算长久待下来
who might be staying for a while.
我对他的研究比他还了解 l do know Sherman's work. ln fact, l am Sherman's work.
巴迪 Buddy!
你能替他弄到那笔经费吗？ Do you think you can do Klump's job
我做的比他强多了 and crowbar that dough out of Hartley?
There's not a job on this planet l can't do twice as good as Sherman.
好，跟我来 Good. Follow me.
是因为你要求我才答应的 l'll go do this just 'cause you asked me, not 'cause of him.
别走开，我去表现一下 You just stay put.
你真美，你的身材棒极了 l've got to go be brilliant. Look at your fine self.
l bet you have on a thong made of licorice, don't you?
失陪了 Excuse me.
(RICHMOND LAUGHING)
来了！ All righty!
他最好是可伦教授 Well, this had better be Professor Klump.
可伦？那个没头脑的骗子 Klump? That fraud, that hack, that no-talent.
他是真正的研究者巴迪教授 No, sir, this is the man behind Klump's work, the real genius.
l give you Professor Buddy Love.
好吧！给你一分钟解说研究 All right, Professor Love.
You have one minute to show me your research.
你搞错了！给你一分钟听 Oh, no, you got it backwards, Rockefeller. You have one minute to listen.
借一下 May l borrow this? You haven't used it, have you?
用过吗？我不想弄脏手 Don't want to get your boogers on my fingers.
开始了，25N乘以C Okay. Here we go.
25N times C.
抱歉写得很乱，写太快了 You have to excuse my handwriting. l'm in a bit of a rush.
祝愉快，晚安 You have a pleasant evening. Good night.
教授，你是否该解释一下 让有钱的呆子了解？ Professor Love,
don't you think Mr. Hartley would like to know what that means in lay terms?
好，我解释给有钱的呆子听 (CHUCKLES)
Oh, you mean rich-dummy terms?
l'll break it down for the rich dummies in the room. Listen up.
你们吃这些恶心的食物 lf you eat nasty stuff like this...
看来美味的猪排 l know it looks good, and some of y'all like pork chops,
吃下这么油腻的猪排 but this greasy, nasty pork chop,
体内基因将储存肥胖细胞 造成难看的外观 do you realize there's a gene in your DNA
that routes this straight to your fat cells,
and it causes unsightly conditions.
比如这女人果冻型的臂膀 Case in point, this woman is suffering from what l like to call "Jell-O arms."
果冻型波动真恶心 The arm is taking on a gelatin sort of vibe. lt's quite nasty.
这位男士有双下巴 To my left, this gentleman has turkey neck.
这女人的徵状是鞍囊纤维肿 To my immediate left, this woman is suffering from what we like to call,
"Saddlebag syndrome."
这位女士就是所谓的大屁股 To my extreme left,
this young lady is suffering from what l like to call "Tank ass."
坐下！别动怒，我没恶意 Please, sit down. Not tonight. l'm your brother!
俗语说：有志者事竟成 我们能改变这些坏基因 Like l was saying, everybody, where there's a will, there's a way.
There is a way we can turn these genes off.
不用运动也不需节食 只需服用我的配方 l'm not talking about using exercise or diet.
l'm talking about by taking a simple solution
将新陈代谢细胞重新组织 就能拥有医学术语的小臀肌 that helps reconstruct your metabolic cellular strands,
thus giving you the appearance of,
in medical terms, gluteus minimus.
或一般人所谓的小屁股 来看看这位美臀小姐 Or, in layman's terms, an extremely tight, wonderful ass.
她的臀围美吗？ Let's give a big round of applause for the woman with the nice ass.
努力的成果，请坐 Her ass is so nice, don't you agree? She's worked so hard.
Have a seat. Oh, are these girls with you?
你们这桌的小姐都有美臀
这里是美臀区吗？ Everyone has a nice ass at this table.
ls this the nice-ass section?
这个人哪来的？ (LAUGHTER)
太过份了 他跟本校毫无关系 Where'd you find this man?
Harlan, it's an outrage.
l assure you he has no affiliation with this school.
他真杰出 He's brilliant.
对 他的杰出可惜非出自本校 Exactly my point.
lt's an outrage that his brilliance
has no affiliation with this school.
所以找他来获取你的钱 That's why l found him and brought him to your money.
是注意，获取你的注意 Attention. Brought him to your attention.
(CLOCK BELL STRIKING)
吃药时间到了 My goodness, it is time to take my medication.
教授 Professor!
他喜欢你，他将参加校友会 Hartley loved you. He's going to be at the Alumni Ball tomorrow night.
只要证明药有效 钱就到手了 lf you can prove the formula works, the ten million is ours!
怎么没想过钱可能只属于我 What makes you so sure that the money is ours,
instead of just being mine?
真幽默，非常幽默 (LAUGHS) You're good, Love. Very good.
请回答我的问题 How'd you like to fill in for Professor Klump on a more permanent basis?
你可愿替补可伦的职位？
我正这么打算 That's what l had in mind.
他先跟我说话的 He talked to me first.
我的臀围最小 Hey, l'm the one with the gluteus minimus.
别急，他说罩得住我们三个 Will you guys just chill? He said he could handle all three of us.
叫巴迪爱这名字 应该罩得住 With a name like Buddy Love, l bet he can.
卡洛，准备上楼了？ Carla, are you ready to go upstairs?
看来还没有 l guess not.
你去哪里？怎么回事？ Hey... Where you going? What's your problem?
她们，你罩得住三个人？ They're my problem, and you can handle all three of them, huh?
我想饭后来个团体游戏 Oh, well, l thought after dinner you might want to have a little group activity.
毕竟我有太多的爱能付出 After all, Buddy does have a lot of love to give.
你是个大变态 Oh, you are one sick, twisted freak!
别走，卡洛！ Oh, come on, Carla. What's the... Hey!
走就走！这里乳房多得是 你以为我在乎你？ Go on, leave! There's more titties over here anyway!
我有六个，本来两个变六个 Think l want them two titties. l have six titties.
l had two titties. Now l have six. That's multiplication.
多了好几倍 (ALL LAUGHING)
(ON STEREO) Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Boys will be boys
(BUDDY CHEERING) Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
这才是燃烧脂肪 Oh, yeah! This is what l call burning calories!
Come on! Help me burn this stuff up!
“蓝斯柏金减肥餐” (GUESTS WHOOPING)
致楼下的威尔森先生 Yeah! Hey, this is going down to Mr. Wilson downstairs!
屋顶屋顶着火了 (CHANTING) The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
屋顶屋顶着火了 (ALL CHANTING) The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire
(WHOOPING)
夏曼？ (KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Sherman?
(CANS CRUNCHING)
夏曼 Sherman?
(CANS CLATTERING)
夏曼 Sherman?
(MOANING)
(SNIFFING AND SMACKING LIPS)
夏曼 CARLA: Sherman?
(CHUCKLING)
夏曼 Sherman?
(GASPS)
(LOUD THUD)
夏曼，是你吗？ Sherman, is that you? Are you all right?
你还好吗？
卡洛 Oh, hi, Carla. Hi.
你昨晚办了舞会？ (CHUCKLING)
不，佣人病了我自己整理 Did you have a party last night?
Oh, no. My cleaning lady's...
Cleaning lady's sick, so l got to clean up myself.
你确定她没死？ l see. You sure she didn't die?
(LAUGHING)
(TOILET FLUSHING)
抱歉屋里一团糟 Oh. Look, l'm a little embarrassed about the way how my place is looking.
我整理好再请你光临 Why don't l clean up and get back at you later?
不，我现在有话跟你说 是关于巴迪 No, no, no. Sherman, l need to talk to you now.
他对你不规矩？ lt's about Buddy.
他是自大的猪真后悔认识他 He hasn't been misbehaving, has he?
He's an egotistical pig, and l wish l never met him.
但我要向你道歉 But, Sherman, l owe you a very big apology.
我？ You owe me an apology? Yes.
是的 Last night l was only trying to help,
昨晚我要巴迪跟哈利解说
l insisted that Buddy Love speak to Harlan Hartley.
他抢尽了功劳，校长 He took all the credit for your research.
巴迪呢？ Now Dean Richmond...
WOMAN: Where's Buddy?
巴迪来过了？ Oh... Buddy came here?
怎么回事？你们分享女友？ (CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) No!
So what's this?
不 Are you guys... You guys share girls?
我可能是下一位吧？ Oh, no, no, no, no.
你误会了 l guess l was next on the list.
没想到我来为你感到遗憾 No, you don't understand.
l cannot believe l came over here feeling sorry for you.
听我解释，不是你想像的 Carla, will you please just listen to me?
你也好不到哪去！ l assure you it is not what it appears to be!
你跟他一样变态！ 我再也不要见到你们俩个 You're no better than he is!
You are just as sick as Buddy, and l don't wanna see you or him again!
卡洛，请听我解释 Carla, please just listen. Carla!
逐出通知？违反安宁规则 "Eviction notice? Violation of noise ordinance?"
教授，我们得快回实验室 (CANS CLATTERING)
Professor, we have to get to the lab right away.
等我处理完这里 Whatever it is, is gonna have to wait until later.
不，很紧急 No, that's the thing. There isn't gonna be a later.
不能再迟了
“夏曼可伦” 你昨晚怎么了？ JASON: Professor, what did you do last night?
“巴迪爱教授” 我的行为糟透了 Jason, l have such a bad hangover, l honestly do not remember.
说真的，我记不清了
好消息是我不会杀了你 Well, the good news is l'm not going to kill you,
但是我要开除你 not physically, anyway.
l am, however, going to kill you professionally.
不只这个学校开除你 你休想再在别校教书了 You're not only fired from this institution,
but l'm going to make sure you never get hired
by any other college in the state,
也许去外太空找得到 the country, the world, maybe even the universe.
除非肥胖星球要徵老师 Unless, of course, they're looking for teachers on Planet Fat.
对了 Oh, by the way,
巴迪 将用你的邀请函去校友会 Buddy Love is going to be using your invitation to the alumni ball,
教教他对学校忠心的精神 so show a little school spirit and see that he gets it.
有钱啰！ 别喂，它们昨天吃过 (SINGING) We're in the money
Put that food down! They ate yesterday!
说：我做得到，再说一次 ...really tight and say, "Yes, l can."
我做得到 Say it again.
LANCE AND AUDIENCE: Yes, l can!
“放映”
大胖子，大屁股 Hey, chunky drawers! Hey, tank ass!
在吃什么？松饼？甜点？ What are you eating? Mu·in? Strudel? Put it down. Let me talk to you.
放下食物，听我说
看到这录影带表示又变胖了 可怜兮兮吃死算了的样子 lf you're receiving this message, that means you went and plumped back up
to your usual, fat, sorry, stuff-my-face-till- l'm almost-dead self.
没说错吧？你真可耻！ ls that what you did? Shame on you, Sherman!
记得昨晚你做了什么？ 这辈子最过瘾的一晚 Do you know what you did last night? You had the time of your life.
昨晚的行为会遭各州通缉 Do you know you can get arrested in ·· states
for the shit you did just last night?
(GIGGLING)
我的天啊！ Oh, my goodness!
你该回实验室再调些溶剂 回来狂欢吧！ You know what you need to do?
You need to go down to the laboratory
and mix up another batch of this blue stuff.
因为卡洛不要你 她要的是我，不是你 Come on back to the party, Sherman, because Carla doesn't want you.
She wants me. Me, not you.
来加入我吧，你斗不过我 So come join me because you can't beat me.
你斗不过我 You can't beat me. You can't beat me!
我斗得过 Yes, l can!
我斗得过你！ (BUDDY LAUGHS) Yes, l can.
我收到你的留言 Professor, l got your message. What's up?
我要去校友会澄清事实 l'm going to that alumni ball tonight, and l'm gonna reclaim my life.
真高兴听你这么说 Yes! l'm so glad to hear you say that.
向卡洛解释并获得哈利捐款 Get things straight with Miss Purty,
好极了！ and l'm gonna get that grant from Harlan Hartley.
杰森 Excellent.
巴迪爱将永远消失 Jason, we have seen the last of Buddy Love.
“第四十七届校友会” (BIG BAND PLAYS lN THE MOOD)
贺瑞，爵士舞大赛即将开始 Horace, good to see you. The jitterbug contest just started.
开玩笑的 l'm kidding, l'm kidding. Your table's upstairs.
座位在楼上，也是开玩笑 That's anotherjoke.
你何时娶了莎朗史东？ When did you marry Sharon Stone?
把脚合紧啊！ Keep those legs crossed.
哈利，糟了！ Hartley. Damn it. And where the hell is Buddy Love?
巴迪爱呢？
还没看到他 No sign of him yet, sir.
我有主意：快去找！ Here's an idea.
是的 Find him!
哈利 Yes, sir.
理奇蒙 Harlan. Well, Richmond.
巴迪爱教授在哪？ Where's your Professor Buddy Love?
他总是很忙，我们先聊聊 Oh, with you it's always business.
你跟贵夫人有个优秀的女儿 Let's get to know each other man-to-man.
Now, if our files are correct,
you and your fabulous wife have a terrific daughter.
我离婚了，女儿在勒戒所 l'm divorced, and my daughter is in rehab.
看来我的资料不正确 So you're saying our files are not correct.
马屁精！ Listen, you pompous butt-kisser.
我口袋内有一千万元支票 l have a check in my pocket for $10 million.
巴迪爱必须证实这研究有效 Your Buddy Love has till midnight to prove that formula works.
一定有效，支票带来了？ He'll be here, the formula works, and you have the check.
哪个口袋？别说，我闻闻看 Really? On you now? Because on behalf of... Which pocket?
要水果酒吗？ No, don't tell me. Let me smell it. Punch?
天啊！这食物怎么吃嘛 Oh, come on, now. Look at this.
l can't eat this. This stuff is too tiny.
这么少怎么吃得饱？ l can't get full off this mess!
我喜欢小巧的美食 l think it's wonderful, all the precious little finger foods.
去他的，我付了一百元 Finger food? l got a finger for them.
三明治才三块钱 l ain't paid no $100 ticket for no finger food.
l could go down to Subway, get me a sandwich for $3.
我付一百？当我疯了不成？ l gotta pay a $100 ticket for finger food?
你吵得我心烦 You must be crazy to think l'm gonna eat this...
我饿了 You're getting on my damn nerves!
是卡洛，希望她见到夏曼 Shut up! l'm hungry!
卡洛 There's Carla. l wonder if she's seen Sherman. Carla!
Carla. Oh.
(LAUGHING)
你看来美极了 (LAUGHING) Oh, you look fabulous.
可伦太太，谢谢你 Thank you, Mrs. Klump.
你看到夏曼吗？ Have you seen Sherman?
他在哪里？ 我可不想坐冷板凳 Yeah, where's Sherman at?
拜托你闭嘴！ l ain't come to pay no $100 ticket to suffer this alone.
第二次冒犯我 Cletus, shut up, please!
Hey! That's strike two.
夏曼今晚不会来 l don't think Sherman will be coming tonight.
他会来，他说有事宣布 要向大家宣布实情 Yes, he is. Sherman called me and told me make sure we was here.
He got a big announcement to make.
Something about getting it all off his chest.
他最近是不是怪怪的？ Have you noticed that Sherman's been acting kind of strange lately?
夏曼最近是怪怪 Sherman has definitely been acting strange lately.
我就知道！看吧！ l knew it! See, Cletus? l told you.
你以为我会听你的？才不！ You really think l be listening to you. l ain't listening to you!
祝你今晚愉快 Well, Mrs. Klump, l hope you have a wonderful evening.
也祝你愉快，谢谢 Oh, you do the same. Thank you so much. So precious.
你也穿紫色，我们像双胞胎 Look at your little purple dress.
They gonna think we twins.
可伦先生 (CHUCKLING) Mr. Klump.
好 Oh, yeah, yeah.
Fabulous.
她跟夏曼不知怎么了 You know, Cletus, l think something's going on between her and Sherman.
别管夏曼的事 You don't go get up in Sherman's business. That's Sherman's business.
他的事就是我的 他是我儿子 Sherman's business? That's my business. Sherman is my baby.
夏曼已经35岁了 Sherman's 35 years old! What you talking about he's your baby?
拜托你闭嘴！ l don't wanna hear it. Shut up, please!
这是第三次了！别想溜 Carla! That's strike three, damn it!
Don't you walk away from me, God damn it!
这是最后一瓶 (MUTTERING)
Hey, this is the last of it, Professor.
我不需神奇药来改变一生 l'll tell you this, Jason.
lf l'm gonna change my life, it's not gonna come from some magic drink.
我要努力运动和减肥餐 Gotta come from a lot of hard work and exercise and plenty of these.
再见巴迪爱，喝减肥奶昔 Good bye, Buddy Love. Hello, Megashake.
(GULPING)
(SCREAMING)
教授 Professor?
我30秒内瘦了300磅 Oh!
l lost 300 pounds in 30 seconds!
多谢减肥奶昔 Thanks, Megashake!
你骗了他 You tricked him!
当然，大颊鼠小子！ 我就知道他会想毁了我 You damn right, hamster boy.
l knew Sherman was gonna go soft on me.
我计算过，若喝500CC 我就能永远摆脱夏曼了 That can wreak havoc on a man's sex life.
(LAUGHING)
See, l've done some calculations of my own.
lf l drink 500 milliliters of formula,
l'll have enough cellular stability
一次喝那么多你会死掉 to be rid of Sherman's ass forever!
You drink that much formula at one time and it will kill you!
当然不行一次喝 lf l drink it all at once, yes.
但是分次喝就没问题 再也不用担心变回胖子 lf l drink half now and half later, that's safe.
我现在要去参加校友会了 你跟地板有约 At midnight, l don't have to worry about turning into no Klumpkin.
lf you don't mind, l have a date at the alumni ball,
and you have a date with linoleum.
谁？ Who?
(MAMA KLUMP LAUGHS)
他不会开疯狂舞会的 No, no, no, child. Not a wild party. Not Sherman.
他太害羞，不喜欢舞会 He's too shy for something like that. He hates parties.
他十八岁时我们为他开舞会 他害羞得根本不肯露面 ln fact, we tried to have a party for Sherman when he was 1·-years-old
and he's so shy, he didn't even show up.
我也觉得那不像夏曼 Well, l must admit, it didn't seem like the Sherman l knew.
也许他将房子借给别人 借给他的朋友 Oh, no, not my baby.
Maybe he loaned his house out to somebody
or one of his buddies was throwing a party.
我裤内骚动是否因为见到你 BUDDY: Yeah!
ls that a test tube in my pocket? Or am l just happy to see you?
好大胆 Oh! How dare you? Oh, you know you loved it.
别装作不喜欢 l felt you percolating.
谢谢，非常感激 (GASPS) Whoo!
Hey, thanks a lot, man. Thank you so much.
这是什么？难喝极了 来一点令人兴奋的 Oh! What you serving here?
This stuff is... Y'all got to get some collard greens and yams!
他的朋友来了 Some red beans and rice!
这算啥舞会？ 去弄一点像样的甜点 Some "Buddy" is right.
This ain't no party! RICHMOND: Dr. Love!
This ain't no ball!
Y'all gotta get y'all some peach cobbler up in here!
你跑哪去了？ 害我侍候哈利3个小时 Professor Love! Where the hell have you been?
l've been nursemaiding Hartley for three hours,
闭嘴！你以为在跟谁说话？ and if l didn't need that money...
Shut up!
再这样跟我说话我就杀了你 Who you think you're talking to, Sherman Klump?
Man, if you ever talk to me like that again, l'll kill you!
真的杀掉你 我要掐住你气管直到你窒息 l don't mean that as a euphemism. l mean, l'm gonna literally kill you.
l'm gonna strangle you and cut off your air supply until you pass away!
叫有钱的呆子来 好戏上场了 BUDDY: Now find the rich dummy a seat. lt's show time.
好戏上场了！ lt's show time, everybody!
Show time!
(BUDDY CACKLING)
(JASON GROANING)
(BEEPING)
“警告：男性荷尔蒙过高”
天啊！糟了！ Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
够了！你害大家想睡觉 BUDDY: That's enough out of you! That's it.
去休息吧！通通都下去！ You're the reason everybody falling asleep.
Take a break, Nigger-ace.
你害得大家想睡觉 Take the Everly Brothers with you. Get out of here!
Look at everybody sleeping because of y'all! lt's show time!
好戏上场了！
怎么一副不认识我的表情？ Now why are y'all looking at me like y'all don't know me?
你们都认识我 Y'all know me!
我不认识那傻蛋 l don't know that fool.
这样呢？ How about now? You recognize me?
认得出我吗？ l don't know that fool.
我不认识那傻蛋
也许因为今早我还重400磅 Maybe it's because
this morning, l weighed 400 pounds!
你们一定见过我 You should've seen me. Look at me now.
现在看看我 You know how l did it? One sip.
想知道我怎么做的？
只要一小口！ l know why he like that, 'cause he drunk.
他八成喝醉了
别叫我安静，他喝醉了 Be quiet! Don't tell me to be quiet! He drunk!
我称它巴迪神奇水 l like to call it "Buddy's Wonder Tonic."
谁都知道你拿的是什么 l know what wonder tonic you had.
时机正好 (WATCH ALARM BEEPING)
细胞不稳定即将开始 Right on schedule.
Cellular destabilization due to arrive in exactly three,
3 (BEEPING)
2 two, one...
(SLOSHING)
真令人厌恶！ 搞什么鬼？ Ain't that a bitch!
有钱佬，你不是要证明 What the hell? My goodness!
睁大眼看清楚！ Hey, moneybags, you want a demonstration?
Well, then feast your eyes on this.
(SLOSHING)
真能唬人 That's a hell of a trick.
最后一个表演 (BEEPING)
Ladies and gentlemen, for my final demonstration...
想看大卫魔术吗？ Look out, David Copperfield. l'm about to make a 400-pound fat man
我将让400磅的大胖子
永远消失 disappear forever!
不！ No! Wait!
等一下
我不能再让你这么做！ l cannot let you do this anymore!
一定要制止！ This has got to stop!
他想杀了夏曼可伦教授 This man is trying to kill Professor Sherman Klump!
还好我带了小刀 That's it. l'm glad l brought my knife.
我带了剃刀 Mmm-hmm. And l got my razor.
把药水给我 Hand over the vial now!
好，颊鼠小子！先吃我一拳 Oh, sure thing, hamster boy.
But first, a short musical interlude.
(GASPING)
巴迪你怎么了？夏曼呢？ Buddy!
What has gotten into you, and where is Sherman?
夏曼走了，永远消失了！ Sherman is gone! Disappeared!
这胖子还真能变把戏 (MUTTERING) What the hell...
And that's a pretty good trick for a man with an ass as big as his.
我要迟到了 (BEEPING)
各位，跟夏曼说再见！ Oh! l'm late for an appointment.
Ladies and gentlemen, say goodbye to Sherman Klump!
各位，跟夏曼说再见！ l hate being called hamster boy.
我讨厌别人叫我颊鼠小子
(GUESTS GASPING)
你就是不懂何时收手 You just don't know when to quit, do you?
(GUESTS GASPING)
(GRUNTING)
太迟了，胖子！结束了 lt's too late, fat boy. lt's over!
放手 (STRAINING) Let go! Let go!
我的天啊！ My goodness! Damn!
放手！你已经玩完了！ (GRUNTING AND GAGGING) Give it up, fat boy! lt's over!
我没说结束就还没结束！ (lN PROFESSOR'S VOICE) lt ain't over till the fat professor sings!
放开我的手，死胖子！ (SHRIEKING)
Let go of my hand, you fat mother...
再乱骂，我就挖掉你眼珠 Say one more word, Buddy, l'll tear your arm off!
看我狠狠修理你 lt's time we take Nestea... Plunge!
(GRUNTING)
你若想走，我陪你 (SOBBING)
Gonna get the hell out of here in a second. lt's okay.
(GRUNTING)
天啊！ Sweet Jesus!
夏曼 Sherman!
夏曼别这样，你需要我 Sherman, don't do this! You need me!
不！我不需要你 No, l don't!
死胖子！ You fat ass!
娘娘腔！ Tinkerbell!
肥屁股！ Blubber butt!
瘦竹竿！ Featherweight!
快去找驱魔师来 Somebody better call an exorcist!
夏曼，你斗不过我 Sherman! Sherman! You can't beat me!
真恐怖极了 This is some scary shit!
(GRUNTING)
我能打败你 Yes, l can!
(ALARM BEEPING)
夏曼，快过来 Sherman, come back here! Sherman!
天昏地暗，我的头好晕 What's happening to me?
Everything's getting real dark! Oh! l feel real jiggly!
我变胖了，夏曼 我教你拥有自信 (PANTING) l'm blubbifying! Sherman!
You need me! l taught you to be confident! You needed me, Sherman!
夏曼，你需要我
夏曼，不论如何 Sherman! No matter what!
不论如何 No matter what, you got to strut.
你都要抬头挺胸
(CROWD GASPS)
(SIGHS)
(CROWD MOANING)
别这样嘛，你好重耶 l ain't gonna be picking up your big ass all night, Anna. Shit.
(GASPS)
天啊！ Oh, my God.
Well, l'll be damned.
请给我些时间让我解释 (EXHALES)
lf you give me a moment, l believe l can try to explain.
我的研究 My research is...
起初是为了帮助人们 Well, when l started out l...
l wanted to help people.
我却变得极端又自私 But l became desperate and selfish.
我错了 What l did was wrong.
我以为大家希望我是巴迪 Buddy's who l thought the whole world wanted me to be.
我以为我想成为巴迪 He's who l thought l wanted to be.
当人迫切想得到什么 And sometimes when you want something so, so bad,
会不顾一切去获得 you do just about anything to get it.
我从巴迪身上学到一件事 But l learned one thing from Buddy.
生命快乐与否跟体重无关 l learned that life is not about
being happy about how much you weigh,
而是真正认同自己 but just being happy with yourself.
抱歉，希望没破坏大家心情 l'm terribly sorry about all this.
l hope l haven't ruined everybody's evening.
请原谅我 Please excuse me.
很抱歉 (WHISPERING) l'm sorry.
夏曼 Sherman!
夏曼，等一下 Sherman, wait a minute.
你为什么骗我？ Sherman, why did you lie to me?
为什么不早跟我说？ Why didn't you say anything?
我想你不会喜欢我 l didn't think you'd have me.
事实上我是很胖 l mean, the fact of the matter is l'm a big man.
我会减肥，但我还是胖子 Now, l will lose weight, but l'm always gonna be big no matter what l do.
跟我交往的人必须接纳事实 So, anybody l wind up with is just going to have to accept me for who l am.
重要的是我先要接纳自己 And more important, l'm just going to have to accept myself for who l am.
夏曼 Sherman,
我今晚没舞伴 l don't have a date tonight.
你愿跟我跳舞吗？ Would you like to dance with me?
教授 (SOFT CHUCKLE)
JASON: Professor,
我想你可能会需要 l thought you might need this.
(CHUCKLES)
我把礼服挤破了 (CHUCKLING) Yeah, l guess l tore this one up, huh?
(LAUGHING)
知道我受不了巴迪什么？ You know one thing l couldn't stand about that Buddy?
什么？ What's that? He was too damn scrawny.
他实在太瘦了
教授 (BOTH CHUCKLING)
Okay, Professor! Looking good!
好帅
本校还有优秀的英语系所 Have l mentioned we also have a terrific English Department?
我发给他奖助金 l'm giving him the grant. What?
什么？ l hate to admit it, but you're absolutely right.
他的确是杰出的科学家 同时是位君子
He's a brilliant scientist and a gentleman as well.
我就说嘛！ Well, l told you!
闭嘴好吗？ HARTLEY: Will you shut up!
没问题 l'm fine with that.
夏曼 Oh, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman, Sherman!
舞步多轻盈 (LAUGHING) Light as a feather tonight. Come on, bump me.
来跳碰碰舞 Yeah!
(GASPS)
我的天！真抱歉 Oh, oh, my goodness! l'm so sorry. l'm sorry.
受伤了吗？ You didn't hurt yourself, did you?
我没事 (CHUCKLES) l'm fine.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
好极了 Yeah!
Fabulous!
(MACHO MAN PLAYING)
我的天 (FARTING) Oh, my Lord!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
抱歉，又出错了 (LAUGHING) Don't start. Do it again.
放啊！希望你屁眼脱落 Go on, fart! l hope your asshole fall out...
(LAUGHING)
我以为结肠是按摩 l thought it just was... l thought a colonic was a massage.
(LAUGHING)
(CREW LAUGHING)
为了你的研究和 For only research, and...
这是哪部片？ (LAUGHING)
(CREW LAUGHING) What? What film is this?
你的研究 Your research.
回去！还没轮到你 Get back in there!
你说什么？ (LAUGHING) We ain't ready for you yet. Now what were you saying?
我去跟她们谈谈 Hold on a minute. Let me go deal with my girl.
你们怎么回事？ What's wrong with y'all?
笼子是怎么回事？ Professor Klump, the cages, what happened?
你挡住镜头了 They can't see me with your head there.
我上星期放了一个屁 (CREW LAUGHING)
l made a fart last week.
臭得我得把鼻子锁起来 lt smelled so bad it had a chain hanging from it.
(LAUGHING)
(CREW LAUGHING)
我忍不住笑 (MUFFLED) l can't talk.
(CREW LAUGHING)
夏曼小时候吃的比大人还多 l seen Sherman get so hungry once when he was young,
he beat up a grown man.
(CREW LAUGHING)
抱歉 l'm sorry.
(LAUGHING)
我忍不住，艾迪在做鬼脸 你应该说对不起 l'm freaking out over here 'cause Eddie's over here saying some wild crap.
Do you...
(LAUGHING)
(FARTING)
你应该说 (LAUGHING) Oh! You're supposed to say, "Excuse me."
(FARTING)
大力士，要沙拉吗？ Oh! Oh, baby, you...
(LAUGHING)
大力士，要沙拉吗？ (LAUGHING) Hey, little Hercules, you want some more coleslaw?
(CREW LAUGHING)
来啊！克利，来啊 Come on, Cletus. Come on. No (BEEP) it... Come on.
来啊！克利，来啊！ Come on, Cletus. Come on. Come on, Cletus.
来啊！克利
来啊！快来啊 Come on. Come on, Cletus!
来啊！
(CREW LAUGHING)
Come on! Come on, Cletus. No.
Come on, come on. No (BEEP) it... Come on.
我们比划一下 Come on, come on, come on, let's do this.
Let's do this!
(LAUGHING)
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah Hey, hey
Ooo
Oh
Yeah, hey, hey, yeah
Boy, you got a lot to learn about love
You just gotta get down with the right equation
Put down that book and see what you're missing
Missing
Come and get your A
Come and get it, come and get it
Come and get it, come and get it, come and get it
Ooo
Homework
Something that you got to do
lt's a school rule
And you know you got to go through
First grade before you get to graduation
Homework
Welcome to your education
Homework
Learn a little every day
Homework
Know a little every day
Another Friday night
Another honey sitting in my ride
Another lyrical favor from your sexy neighbor
Make you wave your hands from side to side
ln '95 we did it
But this year l bring a new twist
You see, l'm hear to announce this song of a bounce
So everybody bounce 2 this
lt's so right lt's so right
lt's so nice
l tell you, it'll make you wanna bounce 2 this
Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this
Yeah, it's so right
lt's so nice lt's so nice
lt's so nice
l tell you it'll make you wanna bounce 2 this
Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this
Yeah, it's so right
Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this
Come on, baby
New York, bounce 2 this
Come on, now
Yeah, bounce 2 this
Atlanta, bounce 2 this Yeah
Come on, baby, bounce 2 this
D.C with a go-go
Bounce 2 this
You know l mean it Bounce 2 this
lt's all right
l been to parties across the USA
l've been to other countries and l made those people say
For dinner, oh, my cup is finally low
So pass the yellow Z and hold on now
Ladies, help me sing it
WOMEN: l wanna party across the USA
You go, sugar
l've been to other countries and l heard those people say
For dinner
My cup was running low
Now pass the yellow Z and let the music play
And act like you know it's all right
lt's all right
lt's so nice
And l'll make you wanna bounce 2 this
Bounce 2 this, bounce 2 this
l can tell
lt's so nice
You wanna boogie
lt's so nice
l can tell you wanna boogie, baby
With Montell you wanna boogie
lt's so nice