There he is!
My latest creation.
Right.
Double rainbow!
No.
No, no. I said "No," haven't I?
I've told you not to...
You were tested...
and you...
have...
failed!
I dunno, must've been the KY or somethin',
but the thing just flew outta my hand
and straight into the Jacuzzi...
I electrocuted two of my co-stars...
That was when I realized
it was time to get out of the porn industry...
Airport, huh?
Where you goin'?
I'm gonna talk to God and save the world.
It's a bit late for that, don'tcha think?
Come on, seriously. Where you headed?
To this... penis?
It's a mountain...
or rock.
I think.
You think?
Seriously?
You up and leave me
and you don't know where you're going?
These people.
Always cryin' over somethin'.
You're not gonna stop?
Hell no.
Don't you worry, Father.
That boy's either a leper,
or thief or terrorist.
- Or he's just a little kid. - If you say so.
I'll tell you one thing; he damn sure ain't no Christia...
Stop the truck!
You go on, Father,
you save the world for us.
My dog... Mister.
He dead!
What happened?
Whatcha you doin'?
Give me your shit, bitch!
Kid, you know...
I'm dead-ass right now.
Drop the gun.
Oh, no!
My dog...
Mister.
He's dead!
Well, what now?
No, you're not getting the boots.
Patrol just reported a Custer sighting.
Send in the choppers and an assault unit now
or after the meet and greet?
Custer's on the run, sir.
That vagina's not gonna carve itself.
Yes, yes... but for now, we have something else in mind...
We do, sir...?
Of course. Tulip.
She'll still come for the vampire...
- I wonder... - The girl's the key.
She's his weakness.
- She's always been his... - Is Frankie around?
Toscani, sir?
I may need some, uh...
surgical assistance.
So, what, you come all the way out here just for me, did you?
Is there no local torture work going down?
Globalization.
Used t'be a guy could work hard, support his family,
never leave the five boroughs.
Now?
It ain't the same.
I miss the old New York days.
'70s...
'80s.
Christ, I miss the really old New York days.
Puking behind the back of McSorley's
with Babe Ruth and Owney Madden. Ah.
No shit, you knew "Killer" Madden?
Yeah, I did. Yeah. Well...
You know, I once watched him... he put a gun up a man's arse
and just blew his brains all over the ceiling, like.
Oh, man.
That's classic.
D'you like that?
What's funny is that's exactly how I'm gonna kill you.
Attention all Grail personnel,
please update your authorization...
Tell me somethin', tough guy.
Yer friend got you all the way to the exit.
What happened?
No, I'm curious.
Why didn't you just...
leave?
You know us Irish.
Never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
All right, kids.
We're back.
Now.
Who wants a go?
Oh, come on.
Oh, he's a mean one.
Hello?
Friend?
What are you doing?
Hey, in there!
Where the hell did he go?
What the hell?
My goodness... he's a wild one!
Oh, yeah? Well, you better keep looking!
'Cause if this guy gets out
it'll be somebody else's dick on the knife.
Attention all Grail personnel,
the car wash will be open regular hours
during the Festival of Homogenous Bloodline.
W-who are you?
I am the walrus.
What do you want?!
I want you...
Proud die the Soldiers of the Grail!
Trumpet the men and the glorious fight they made.
Gunner, Pigeon Foot,
- El Paso... - To the Grail.
Looking for someone.
Terrorist, criminal.
Been checking the local establishments.
You seen her?
She looks very scary, huh?
But no... I would, uh, remember her.
This exactly the sort of piss pot shit hole she's drawn to.
Are you sure?
Very sure.
If I see a scary muhtal such as this?
I will say so.
Yeah...
I believe you will.
Otherwise?
This will happen.
Put down the beer and grab some Kleenex,
you babies.
I want that bitch's head on a pike!
They are looking for you now.
I mean they are really looking for you.
Good.
Damn.
Uh, a crowsfoot with a breaker bar is maybe better, huh?
You gotta crowsfoot, Kamal?
Gotta tweak the mixture on the carb.
If we lower the air/fuel ratio
we'll get more power this time round.
Won't get another chance.
Is bad job, Nissa.
To take on Masada, huh?
And very bad husband to leave with such a job.
Why not wait for him to come back?
I told you, Kamal.
He ain't my husband...
...and he ain't comin' back.
Son of bitch.
What's the problem?
Ahmad. Filthy Muslim.
Aren't you Muslim?
Me?
I am Coptic!
Guys.
All right...
Come on.
Stop fighting.
Good...
Now be friends.
What the hell happened?
I told him to "Stop fighting"!
He does not speak English.
What is wrong with you people?
If I walked out on the only good thing in my life
for this bullshit,
I'm gonna be so, so...
So...
The Allfather is Dead!
Long live the Allfather!
Hear! Hear!
Are you well, Allfather?
We heard about the terrorist attack?
I'm fine.
The attack on the citadel was, uh...
easily repulsed.
And the Holy Child?
Is He safe?
The Holy Child?
Come on, now...
dance.
It's not Him.
...he's fit as a fiddle.
So?
When will the Grail be presenting him to the world?
In time.
Now if you'll excuse me...
No, but when?
Specifically?
Forgive me, Allfather.
You're a great man and I'm just a Deputy Prime Minister,
but it's just...
how can I follow what I cannot see?
With faith, of course.
Climb in the box.
Please.
Not that this is an excuse,
but I have had too much to drink.
No excuse.
Ooh! Someone, please, erase my search history!
Any other questions?
Good.
The Holy Child will be revealed
to you all soon enough.
Blame it on the Australians.
Acceleration is very important...
Angle of inclination...
wind, dust, kilometers per hour...
This is bad job.
Nissa, I am worried for you.
Yeah.
I'm gettin' that.
What're you worried about?
Out of everything? The impact.
What do you think?
Do I look smart?
Come here. Give me those. I'm so sorry.
There we go, lad... 'cause these should turn me into...
"Doctor Zhang"? Well enough.
What am I doctor of, anyway?
"Chemical Pharmacology," cool.
That's drugs, right?
Yeah, it is.
"Urban bli..." "Urban blight".
City wrecking, family breaking, soul-stealin' drugs.
N-no. No.
Absolutely not.
Nope. Give me those.
Zhang.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
All right. See you later.
How's it goin'? You all right?
Off to another boring conference.
Bloody Milwaukee.
Here's me ID.
Primo Ostium Magnam.
Thanks, man.
A-actually, you know what?
I am just such ijeet...
I-I left me thing... the... the...
me little pharmacologic-ist-al thing.
I be right back.
Ready to go?
This friend of yours?
Vampires are big and strong, huh?
M-maybe he's okay.
Maybe, uh, he's escaped already?
Maybe.
So...
Maybe we wait and see?
I don't like this job for you, Nissa.
Nissa, this is bad job.
I'm going in that door.
And I'm gettin' Cass out, and that's that.
I don't "wait and see" shit for anybody.
What?
I'm not gonna blow ya, if that's yer game.
What?
I'm not gonna blow neither of you two neither.
That's too bad.
We trimmed our balls fer nothin'.
I got it.
Ready to go.
Your attention, please: flight number 22 to Hamburg
will be leaving from Gate 3.
There's no smoking at the airport.
There is now.
Yeah. There is now.
You recognize this?
It's a rock.
Oh, it's a rock, all right.
The Lost Apostle.
It's an ancient sacred site.
You need to get out more.
Well, where is it?
All right then.
All passengers with a destination of Melbourne, Australia...
Shit. Where's my...?
Need a light, Preacher?
All passengers to Melbourne, Australia...
Shit.
Please don't hurt her.
She's not a bad person just... her husband left her.
Makes her crazy.
Weapons cold.
Tango, 3 o'clock!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Garage!
Back to the cars!
What the...?!
Someone took my car!
We got her. We got her.
She's trapped. We've got her!
What's she doing?
I see her!
I see her! She's gone!
Any eyes on her?
No, I don't see a thing.
Negative, nothing here.
Wait...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I got eyes on her!
There she goes.
Whoa, she's good.
I can't see anything with all this dust!
Report in, report in!
Aah! I can see the bone! I can see the bone!
I just saw her! I got her! I got her!
On your six on your six! Wait, no...!
Oh, my God, she's coming right at us!
- She got Charlie! - She's mine!
All units...
Coming in on your right!
On your right. Watch out. Over on your right!
Report in. Who has eyes?
Who has eyes?!
What?!
We're all that's left!
Aah! Oh, she's not backing off!
Hold on!
No, no, no! Mind the... mind the tip!
Bloody amateur.
That's okay.
Come on.
Just always remember when it comes to torture,
mistakes are a part of it.
Here you go, doc.
I got it now.
I worked with guys like you before.
Screw-ups, meatheads.
The repeat clients.
Guys who couldn't get outta their own way.
You know, they piss and moan
about being "Unlucky" or some shit.
But it ain't luck that keeps 'em comin' back,
it's guilt.
They think they deserve it.
Wait for me.
Let's go.
Look.
Did you see that?
You gotta go help him.
There's, like, a... A preacher's code, right?
You have to help people.
Well, there sure as shit's a pilot code!
Now, a certain amount of discharge is to be expected...
How does it look?
You were right, Allfather.
Wonderful idea.
Call me if you notice any discoloration or foul odor.
I'll keep some extras on ice...
in case we need to shore it up.
Come on, I need a medic!
We got another one!
I got you.
Yup, that's probably the last we'll see of her.
Australia, eh?
That's quite the adventure, isn't it?
Snakes, wallabies, and kangaroos...
I can't believe you left me, Padre...
Mind you, you left her too, didn't you?
The captain... me... has turned off the no-smoking sign.
Man, I've always wanted to do that.
The flight time is a little over 16 hours to Australia,
If you need anything, Preacher, just bang on the cockpit door.