大 big big
加油，加油，加油，加油 come on big come on big big
我真的真的想感谢你们所有人 i really really want to thank all of you guys
谢谢你一直陪着我 for sticking with me
过去的几个月 the past few months
我知道上次的竞选 i know with this last campaign
我真的毁了你们的社交生活 i really ruined your social lives
让你熬过生日 made you work through birthdays
假期去看《权力的游戏》大结局 holidays to see the finale of games of thrones
别忘了那个，还有那个 don't forget that one yeah that too
我知道整个过程 and i know through the whole process
看起来我并没有完全欣赏它 it might have seemed like i didn't fully appreciate it
但我没有这么希望 but i didn't so hopefully
你们会很感激下一笔奖金的 you will all appreciate the very hefty bonuses on your next
检查 checks
谢谢你！ thank you
丹尼尔，不，说真的，别谢我这都是你们干的 Daniel no seriously don't thank me this was all you guys
平板广告使他们的销售额增加了两倍，结果 the flat dumut campaign has tripled their sales and as a result
他们想把你的薪水翻三倍 they want to triple your paychecks nice
对了，公司和我们签了三年的合同 oh and the agency has signed us for a three year contract
所以好消息是，你们都将因此得到更多的报酬 so the good news is that you will all be paid a lot more for it
但不幸的是，坏消息是 but the bad news is that unfortunately
你要和我在一起很长一段时间 you're gonna be stuck with me for a long while
但是你们都知道 but hey you all know
这是我管理的第一个项目 this is the first project that i've ever managed
我被这个角色吓呆了 and i was petrified taking this role on i mean
我已经习惯说我老板的坏话了 i'm used to talking shit about my boss
而不是被所有人唾弃的老板 not being the boss that everyone shits on
说到这里，为你们所有人干杯干杯 so with that said cheers to all of you cheers cheers
哦 oh
还有一件额外的礼物，我给你们都买了公司的ipad and one more thing as an extra bonus i got you all company ipads
噢,不错 oh nice
我们来看看 let's take that
一个给你们俩 one for the two of you
好的,每个人都 alrighty everyone
但如果你把饮料洒在iPad上 drink up but if you spill your drink on your iPad
我不会再给你新的了 i will not be giving you a new one
你在干什么，住手 what are you doing stop it
我只是在测试这个相机的质量 just testing the camera quality on this also
我要你拿着这个出去喝酒的证据 i want evidence of you out the office having a drink with this
你知道我不喜欢自己有任何有罪的证据 you know i don't like to have any incriminating evidence of me
玩得开心 having fun
这对伴侣形象不好太迟了让我看看，快点 it's bad for mate image too late let me see it come on
让我看看 let me see it
哦 oh
好几个 well few
看起来我还是不知道怎么玩得开心 it still looks like i don't know how to have a good time no way
喝了半杯红酒，我就疯了 i'm such a rager with a glass of red wine half
如果杯子只有半满怎么办 empty what if the glass is just half full
好吧，我猜这可以是另一半或者这是半满的 well guess this could make the other half or this is half full
嗨,丹尼尔 hey Danielle
我能把这家餐馆经理的信息告诉我吗 can i get the manager's info to this restaurant
我觉得那是个上演木偶戏的好地方 i think it'd be a great place to have a puppet show uh
抱歉，我不认识经理 sorry i actually don't know the manager
我在露天用餐时买的，那是什么 i bought this on open dining what's that
这是一个你可以预订晚餐的应用程序 it's an app where you can make dinner reservations
他们有类似的木偶戏应用吗 hmm do they have an app like that for puppet shows
我不知道 i don't know
因为我表演的时候喜欢五个声音 because i do like five voices when i do my show
这真的很难管理 and it's really hard to manage
压力会很大 it gets very stressful
如果我听到什么消息 um if i hear up anything
我一定会让你知道的 i'll be sure to let you know cool
我觉得你在基督教青年会的表演还不错 i thought you did your show at the ymca well
是的，我做了，然后他们他们阻止我们做你 yeah i did and then they uh they stopped us from doing it you
知道政治是怎么运作的 know how it goes politics right
嘿，你们俩要去哪儿 hey where are you two going um
只是一起上厕所而已 just a bathroom together yeah
随着时间的推移，所有这些都同步了我们的周期 all that over time has synced our cycles oh now
几周后我感觉有点被冷落了 i'm feeling a little left out a few weeks behind
我怎么能说月亮不喜欢你呢 what can i say moon doesn't like you
记住他们有多讨厌对方开始一个项目 remember how much they hated each other beginning a project
它们看起来太融合了 they look too fuse and pod
啊 啊
我还是不敢相信我们真的成功了，记得吗 i still can't believe we actually pulled it off remember
那天晚上我们有多恶心 how sick we got that one night
我们试过茶哦 we actually tried the tea oh
好吧，合同里可没这么说 yeah well it doesn't say anywhere in the contract
我们被要求真正喜欢它或消化产品 we were required to actually like it or digest the products true
嗯 mmm
不是很好，或者是你丈夫 not that good or is your husband
都很糟糕 just that bad both
我想我一直瞒着所有同事 i think i've just been hiding this from everyone at work
对你的生活隐瞒这一切 and hiding this from your life
我只有30秒的时间给你们 i only get about 30 seconds to give you all
这阻止不了你们 that can't stop you all
嗯是啊 嗯是啊
你应该试试的 you were supposed to try
哦，等等，你现在喝醉了 oh wait now you're drunk now
你喝醉了，它真的喝了鸡尾酒吗 you're drunk does it actually drink the cocktail
他叫拉尔夫，他确实有个问题 Ralph his name is Ralph and he does have a problem
但他在努力他在寻求帮助抱歉 but he's working on it he's seeking help i'm sorry
没事的，你干嘛让人难堪，别说了 it's okay why are you embarrassing stop all
好吧，不过话说回来，我想我们还是叫我的车女士吧 righty um but that said i think we're gonna call my car ladies
给我一个拥抱 give me a good hug by
我们必须这样做吗，还是我们可以挥手之类的 do we have to or can we just like wave or something
我要去挥一挥手 i will take a wave
我知道这对你意义重大，拉娜再见，丹妮尔 i know that means a lot from you Lana well bye Danielle
当然也要再次感谢你的晚餐 and thank you again for dinner of course
哦，别担心 oh and don't worry
我在日历上做了记号 i marked it off on my calendar
你下周休息一天 that you have the day off next week
希望是你们的结婚纪念日 for your anniversary hopefully
这样丹就不会那么恨我了 this will make dan hate me just a little bit less
我真的不需要这么做 i really don't need to do that yeah
你真的不知道我知道 you really didn't i know
但我做了我的心理医生告诉我我需要改善我的社交生活 but i did my therapist told me i need to work on my social life
我还没有，我想我还会做其他的 and i don't really have one i figured i'll work on others
你能确保他们吃到甜点吗 oh can you make sure they get their desserts
当然，你们还需要点什么吗 sure can i get anybody anything else
要咖啡或茶吗? any coffee or tea
嗯周二晚上你们这里的人都是些什么人 um what's your crowd like here on a Tuesday night
其实我们的欢乐时光很热闹 um we actually have a great happy hour crowd
我们有墨西哥玉米卷星期二哦 we have taco Tuesdays oh
你们有清淡的莎莎酱吗 and do you serve mild salsa
因为如果拉尔夫吃辣的东西 because if Ralph eats anything spicy
如果你知道的话，他会跑的 he gets the runs if you know what
我的意思是 i mean um
是的，我们有清淡的莎莎酱 yes we serve mild salsa great
我们下午4点到这里安排丹妮尔 we'll be here at four pm to set up Danielle
周二我得早点离开，我们有演出 i'm gonna need to leave early on Tuesday we have a gig
谢谢你所做的一切 thank you for everything
这里有一个额外的提示，甜点马上就出来了 here's an extra tip on top of this desserts will be right out
好了，伙计们，享受这个崭新的夜晚，你们现在不能走 alrighty guys enjoy this new evening you can't leave now
你会错过甜点的，快点 you're gonna miss dessert come on
我也想去，但我得去给饼干泥 i wish i could but i gotta go give cookies muds
这倒提醒了我，我有东西要给你 oh that reminds me i have something to give you
这是CBD油 it's cbd oil
它能治疗焦虑，我以为它会，焦虑很明显 it treats anxiety i thought it will it was anxiety that obvious
哦 oh
不，对不起 no i'm sorry
饼干用的是猫用的CBD油 for cookie it's cbd oil for cats
我的天啊，真是太贴心了 oh my god that is so sweet yes
看来传统药物对他不起作用 seems like traditional medication wasn't working for him
也许你该试试新东西 so maybe you should try something new
我通常假设每个人 i usually assume everyone
就是不理我 just ignores me
公平地说，当我开始谈论我那只癫痫猫的时候 when i started talking about my epileptic cat to be fair
大多数人都是这样 most people do
我会试一试，真的得走了 i'll give it a try really gotta go now
大家快再见，快再见 hurry bye everyone hurry bye
疯狂的夜晚啊，不是真的，只是这样工作晚餐好狗屎 crazy night ah not really it was just so work dinner well shit
听起来你玩得很开心其实我也玩得很开心 it sounded like you had a good ass time i did actually
我没有嘿 i didn't hey
当你喜欢自己的工作时，感觉就不像在工作了 doesn't really feel like work when you enjoy what you do
这就好了 and here we're good yeah
我能我能看到嘿 i could i could see that hey
你是想让我打开空调还是想听点音乐哦不 you want me to turn on the ac or you want some music oh no
我是好东西 i'm good things
其实我要打个电话，很快的 actually i'm gonna make a phone call real quick
你能不能小声点 if you could keep it down
拜托，好吧 please all right okay
你看到她脸上的表情了吗 did you see the look on her face
当我给她大麻二酚油的时候 when i gave her the cbd oils
我的意思是我完全同意那不仅仅是一个友好的微笑 i mean i'm totally in that was more than just a friendly smile
如果那只猫死了 you know if that cat dies
她会杀了你的 she will murder you right
它已经有19年的历史了，所以很有可能是这样 it's like 19 years old so there's a good chance of that
我研究了好几个小时，饼干不会有事的 i did hours of research on it cookie will be fine
我绝不会置他于危险之中 i will never put him in danger
你救了她 you save her
一直在工作的混蛋你真的需要救她的命 ass at work all the time you really need to save her cad
她也是你的雇主，这是她的工作描述 too she's your employer it's into her job description to get as
尽她所能从你身上榨出更多 much out of you as she possibly can
她根本不在乎你 she doesn't give a shit about you
她喜欢我，我发誓我能感觉到 she likes me i swear i could feel it
在我看来，你长得不错 from what i can tell you're a good looking guy
你为什么不出去找点乐子呢 why don't you go out there and have some fun
去穿些克隆的衣服 go wear some clone
闻起来像漱口水或者什么蠢人什么的 that smells like mouthwash or goofy someone or whatever
这是你搞的鬼啊 it is you streak what lot of Geez
你为什么这么说 why would you say that
我不知道，我只是想让你感觉好点 i don't know i'm just trying to make you feel better well
这绝对没有让我感觉好一点 that definitely did not make me feel better right fine
不要太在意别人的赞美 don't take the compliment well
我想要迷奸药顺便说一下我的古龙水 i want roofy anyone it by the way my Cologne
闻起来有鼠尾草和玫瑰木的味道，谢谢 smells like sage and rosewood thank you very much
坚持住，伙计 hang in there dude
没关系的 that'll be okay
狗屎 shit
布伦特医生，布伦特医生你好 dr Brent dr Brent hi
这是紧急电话，有什么紧急情况 this is the emergency line what's your emergency
我要跑大约十分钟 i'm running about ten minutes
给小甜饼吃药迟到没关系吧 late to give cookies meds is that okay
这不是紧急情况，我再打给你吧 this is not an emergency should i just call you back
因为行为怪异 because acting weirds
拜托你别忘了我 please don't hey you remember that i
肖恩，我跟你说过不 Sean i told you about no well
他给了我大麻二酚做饼干 he gave me these cbd drops for cookie
他拿着它们安全吗 are they safe for him to take
你觉得他肯定不会受伤的 sure can't hurt do you think him
给我那几滴就像是他喜欢我的信号 giving me those drops was like a sign that he likes me
你是唯一认识他的人 i mean you're the only one who knows him
告诉别人关于他的事 to tell anyone else about him
我不，我不知道 i don't i don't know
你应该问问认识你的人或者朋友或者任何人 you should ask someone who knows you or a friend or anybody
只是一个人，不是我，等等 just someone not me well wait
心理医生说下班后不能给她打电话 therapist said i can't call her after hours
你知道她的感受 you know how she feels
我不知道是酒的原因还是今晚的事 i don't know if it was just the wine or what it was tonight
但我真的觉得事情不一样了 but i really feel like things were different
但是，如果情况不同又有什么关系呢 but hey what does matter if things are different
我不能和我的员工扯上关系，我要挂了 i can't get involved with my employee can i i'm hanging up now
好吧，我给你发短信 okay i'll just text you dr
布伦南 Brennan
你知道他是在利用你的猫来达到目的 you know he's using your cat to get a piece of that right
我是说他在利用你的私处接近你的私处 i mean he's using your pussy to get to your pussy
我是说这是一个经典的动作 i mean it's a classic move
我认为这很棒 i think it's brilliant
你在认真听我说话 you're listening to my conversation well
我是说，是的，另一个人不是 i mean yeah other guy wasn't
我不接受养狗人的建议 well i don't take advice to dog people
所以下次别告诉别人 so keep it to yourself next time
毛毛也不喜欢你的屁股 well fluffy didn't like your ass neither
我知道爱一个无法拥有的人是什么感觉 i know what it's like to love someone that you can't have
我知道保守秘密是什么感觉 i know what it's like to have to keep it a secret
有点糟糕 kind of sucks
真的吗，我还以为你和所有的女士们在一起呢 really i thought you slated with all the ladies
通常做 normally do
但是呃 but uh
如果它最近一直粘在一个直女身上，那我就惨了 if it's stuck on this straight girl lately really fucking me up
我很抱歉 i'm sorry
任何建议 any advice
如果你真的相信的话 if you really believe in it
不管事情有多疯狂，你他妈一定要成功 just fucking make it work no matter how crazy it is
如果不成功，总会有麻烦的 and if it doesn't work out there's always those ruvies
妈咪马上就来，小甜饼 mommy's gonna be right there cookie
漫长的一天 and a very long day
好的，小甜饼 all right cookie
你吃完了所有的东西，还在睡觉 you ate all your food and you're sleeping
去他的，那些药水真的有用 fuck those drops really works
叹息 sigh
凯莉对我的回应 cailly's response to me
我上个月付了五千元 i paid five grand last month
哈哈 哈哈
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
哦，饼干，等等 oh cookie wait
丹妮尔，你好，我有些事要告诉你，我已经认识肖恩了 Danielle hi i have something to tell you i already know Sean
你做 you do
你的iPad丢了 you lost your iPad
我们我们可能会在晚餐时交换，你能检查一下吗 we um we might swap them at dinner can you check
如果你有我的哦 if you have mine oh
我现在就可以查 i could check right now
也许前一秒还在我房间里 it may be in my room one second
是的，不在这里 yeah it's not here
你知道，我还在寻找 still looking you know
也许我对达诺德的事做了什么 maybe what did i do with that darnold thing
可能选择 probably selected
是的，就在我外套下面 yeah it's right under my jacket
我想我有你的 i guess i have yours
我现在才意识到我有你的iPad好极了 i just now re and only now just realize i have your iPad great
明天帮我拿过来，好吗 just bring it in tomorrow for me okay
答应我你不会再经历了 and promise you won't go through it oh
我绝对不会你的私事不关我的事 i would never your personal business is not my business
上面没有针对个人的东西 there is nothing personal on there
相信我 trust me
我只是不想毁了最大的惊喜 i just don't want to ruin the biggest surprise
新的竞选活动 of the new campaign
我要介绍明天 i'm introducing tomorrow well
现在你在诱惑我我是认真的，肖恩 now you're tempting me i'm serious Sean
如果你翻我的iPad，你就被解雇了 if you go through my iPad you're fired okay
我就不讲了 i'm not gonna go through it
我明天把它带来 i'll bring it in tomorrow
好吧快点 okay hurry
你的火 your fire fire
你被解雇了 you're fired
就是这样 that's it
我的天啊 oh my god oh
来吧来吧 come on come on
来吧，回答 come on answer answer
你是什么样的人 so what are you like
跟肖恩有秘密关系之类的 in a secret relationship with Sean now or something
没有 no
你为什么会嫉妒呢 why would that make you jealous
没有 no
好吧也许 okay maybe
好吧 well
你有一个不跟你上床的丈夫 you have a husband that you don't have sex with
我还有个讨厌的男闺蜜 and i have an annoying male best friend
我没跟谁上床，所以我们扯平了 who i don't have sex with so we're even
就像我说的，我正在努力，我们会离婚的 like i said i'm working on it okay we're gonna get a divorce
我屏住呼吸 i'm holding my breath
好吧 well
也许,但 maybe but
我要在这里做 im gonna do it down here
我的实体网眼内裤 my physical mesh panties
还热的时候我能尝到你的味道 i can taste you when they're still hot
啊 啊
当你像那样掌控一切的时候，真是太火辣了 mmm so hot when you just take control like that
情不自禁但我真的真的很想你 can't help but i really really want you
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
哦买 哦买
噶 噶
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
嗯，你很清楚我喜欢什么 hmm you know exactly what i like
嗯 嗯
啊 啊
你的巴士真漂亮，你的嘴在上面可不漂亮 your bus is so pretty mmm not pretty with your mouth on it yeah
像这样 like that
嗯 嗯
哦买噶的呀 哦买噶的呀
我喜欢你狼吞虎咽的样子 oh i love when you just devour it
我的天啊，是的 oh my god hmm yes
嗯是的 hmm yeah
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
嗯 hmm
哦，我的天啊，那是 oh my god yeah that's
我最喜欢的景色是那双美丽的眼睛仰望着我 my favorite view those beautiful eyes looking up at me
我吃我的阴部 and i eat my pussy
啊 啊
我的天啊 oh my god
啊啊 啊啊
嗯操 嗯fuck
我的天啊 oh my god
天啊，你知道我所有的斑点 oh my god you know all my spots
啊耶 啊耶
啊啊耶 啊啊耶
啊 啊
哦操我啊 哦fuck me啊
哦买噶 哦买噶
啊 啊
是的 yeah
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
是的，就在那儿 yeah it's right there
就在那里，就在那里 right there right there ah
啊 ah
啊啊耶 ah ah yeah
啊 ah
哦 oh
啊啊 啊啊
啊 啊
啊我的上帝 啊my god
啊耶 啊耶
啊 啊
我的天啊 oh my god
吃饭的时候我整晚都在想这件事 i was thinking about this all night during dinner
是 is
所以你才会这么清楚 that why you were so well you know it
天哪，没人比你更懂我 oh my god nobody gets me as well as you do
哦 oh
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
我的天啊 oh my god
是的，让我扑到你脸上 yeah make me come on your face
耶，让我来到你的脸上哦哦 yeah make me come on your face oh oh
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊
我会害怕你 i'm gonna fear you
啊嗯啊嗯啊啊 啊嗯啊嗯啊啊
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
嗯 mmm
我很肥皂 i'm very soap
为什么你要这样戏弄人 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm why are you gonna be such a tease
哦，你喜欢我逗你 oh you love it when i tease you
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
嗯 嗯
嗯啊 嗯啊
嗯嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯嗯
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
你是谁，我的朋友 who you are so my friend
吃你的阴部也让我他妈阴部 mmm eating your pussy makes me fucking pussy
我喜欢你说要吃我的臭屁 i like the way you talk about eating my fucking puffing fuck
你真他妈好吃 you just taste so fucking good
感谢上帝 thank god
我喜欢你的手指检查我，要不要再来一个 i love having your fingers inspect me do you want another one
是的，我知道 yeah i do
啊哦买噶嗯啊 啊哦买噶嗯啊
啊 啊
嗯 嗯
啊 啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊 啊
嗯嗯哦买噶 嗯嗯哦买噶
嗯嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯嗯
嗯 嗯
我的天啊 oh my god
我的天啊，弗兰克，真他妈好吃 oh my god frank love fucking taste so good
切你的大脑，嗯，操 cut you so brain mmm fuck
求你让我看看你那一点 mmm please show me that little fucking point
我的天啊，感觉太棒了 oh my god that feels so good
天啊，你要让我猜错了 oh my god you're gonna make me come wrong
来吧，我的鱼，来吧 come on my fucking fish come on
就像那个混蛋 just like that fuck
我就像那个神 me just like that god
杰里米，你干得太棒了 Jeremy you fucked me so good
哦 oh
天啊，天啊 my god oh my god
是的是的是的 yes yes yes
啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊 啊
嗯 嗯
啊 啊
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
啊嗯啊 啊嗯啊
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
啊啊 啊啊
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
啊 啊
啊啊 啊啊
嗯 hmm
天啊，我真是个幸运的女孩 god i'm a lucky girl hmm
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
是的朗姆酒 yeah rum
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
我的天啊 oh my god
是的，我的天啊 yeah oh my god
真正折磨我的就是这样 the real grind on me grind on me like that
当你感觉牙齿在咬你的手指时我的天哪 while you feel like the teeth poaching on your fingers oh my god
我的天啊 oh my god
请留住我 please keep me
请不要接受，好吧 please don't take it yeah there you go
在那个阴户里面哦 inside of that pussy oh
对我来说太湿了 so fucking wet for me
你他妈太保守了 you're just fucking trenched
噢,是的 oh yeah
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
是的 yeah
这太敏感了 so sensitive is that yeah
哦 oh
这就是你想要的，你想要走远 that's what you want you want to be far
你也想要紧一点 too you wanna have your tight
小娘们被我的手指粘住了，没错 little fucking pussy stuck by my fingers yeah you do
是的，你，你吃那个女人，吃那个女人 yes you you eat that pussy eat that pussy
啊 ah
啊啊操你 ah ah fuck you
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
哦，太紧了 oh it's tight
太他妈紧了 it's so fucking tight
我的天啊 oh my god
哦 oh
我的天啊，你就在那儿 my god you have right there
操 fuck
我的天啊 oh my god
就在那里，不要停下来 right there don't stop
别停下来 don't fucking stop
哦 oh
啊啊啊嗯啊嗯啊啊啊是的 啊啊啊嗯啊嗯啊啊啊yes
用那张嘴 just use that mouth
操，用你那张嘴 oh fuck just use that mouth
该死的口香糖 the fucking gum
是的,请 yes please
最后的位置 last position
嗯 mmm
嗯嗯嗯 hmm hmm hmm
哦，是的，嗯 oh yes hmm
我的天啊 oh my god
太他妈用心了 it's so fucking heart
啊啊啊嗯嗯嗯偶买噶 啊啊啊嗯嗯嗯偶买噶
嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯
嗯哼嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯 嗯哼嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
啊啊 啊啊
嗯嗯，你会来吗 hmm hmm are you gonna come
你会来吗? are you gonna come
你的到来 you're coming
你来了，你来了 you're coming you're coming
你有他妈的 you got a fucking
讨厌的哦 gummy oh
我的天啊 my gosh oh
我发誓我可以从感觉中走出来 i swear i could come from the feeling
嗯 嗯
嗯嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯嗯
嗯了 mmm got
我的阴部还在翻滚 my pussy still throwing
和两个 and two
3和4 and three and four
伙计，你他妈的最好是快死了 dude what the fuck you better be dying or some shit
我要挂了，听着 i'm hanging up listen
我不小心把Danielle的iPad带回家了 i accidentally took Danielle's iPad home okay
我要挂了，等等，拉娜 i'm hanging up no wait Lana
她在给别人发关于我的短信我看到了所有的短信 she's texting someone else about me i saw all the messages huh
她在告诉她的兽医她对我的感觉 she's telling her veterinarian about all her feelings for me
好了，我需要你花点时间听一下 okay i need you to take a minute to listen to what
你刚跟我说，给我一分钟 you just said to me just take a minute
因为听起来真的很疯狂 because it sounds really crazy look
她一直在告诉他们怎么做 she's been telling them about how
她爱上了一个叫肖恩的员工 she's in love with an employee named Sean
她无法向他隐藏自己的感情她的兽医是的 and that she can't hide her feelings from him her vet yes
我不知道是谁 i don't know that's who
这不是重点，你没抓住重点 she talks to that's not the point you're missing the point
我有证据证明她对我有感觉 i have proof that she has feelings for me well
你不能告诉她你看过她的手机 you can't exactly tell her you looked through her phone
有人没有井吗 is someone there no well
我仔细考虑了一下 i thought about this well
我有个计划什么计划好吧 i have a plan what's the plan okay
所以我不能就这么辞职 so i can't just quit
我是说我们刚签了三年的合同 i mean we just signed that three year contract
没有办法逃出去，除非 and there's no way out of it unless
除非 unless
好吧 well
除非我被解雇，不然你怎么被解雇 unless i get fired how are you gonna get fired
你是她的最爱 you're her favorite
我不知道，我是说你已经被炒了很多次了 i don't know i mean you've been fired from a lot of other jobs
我没有，你能给我一些建议吗 i haven't can you give me some tips all right
去你妈的 fuck you what you have
我只是保留事实 i'm just staying the facts all right
好吧 all right
让我考虑一下，我会帮你被解雇的，谢谢 let me think about it i'll help you get fired thank you
你是一个真正的朋友 you are a true friend
好了，我挂了，去睡觉吧，你个怪胎 all right i'm hanging up now go to bed you freak
那是什么鬼东西 what the hell was that
肖恩恋爱了 shawn's in love
所以他想被解雇 with Danielle so he's trying to get fired
我不认识什么直男肥皂剧之类的 i don't know some straight people soap opera shit okay
哦，真的，真的 whoa really yes really
唉，要是这样就好了 ugh if only
我能想到一个和它一样具有破坏性的东西 i could think of something as equally as destructive to break
一个羊皮纸 a parchment
我是说你已经有了 i mean you kind of already have
好吧，我得走了 okay i have to go all right
不，不，不，我们不能这样对彼此说 no no no we're not gonna say that to each other
我们不能，还不行 we can't okay not yet
我们也不能这么做，但我们在这里 well we can't really be doing this either but here we are
给你 here you go
你的手腕在这里 i have your wrist right here
来吧，好好用iPad，你不可能先把我的还给我 come on have a good iPad no way you hand me mine back first
我完全可以把你看成是一台双面iPad i could totally see you as a two time iPad
上周还挺会潜水的 kind of girl handle dive habits last week
好吧，我们各让一半 okay let's both go halfway
不是一半，不是一半，好吧 it's not halfway it's not halfway okay
哈哈哈 哈哈哈
嘿，早上好，伙计 hey good morning dude
最近怎么样? how's it going
不太好 not so good
我今天早上第一次抓到拉尔菲打飞机 i caught ralphie masturbating for the first time this morning
所以你知道这意味着什么 so you know what that means
我不知道你知道有多少高挑纤细的 i don't actually would you know how many tall slender
富有同情心的女木偶 compassionate lady puppets
我可以介绍给他们，让他们放松一下 i could introduce them to to take the edge off you know
你就不能给他们买一个吗 can't you just buy them one
我不会给他买妓女什么样的木偶 i'm not gonna buy him a prostitute what kind of puppet
师傅，你觉得呢? master do you think
我就是耶稣 i am Jesus all right
早上好，谁很想知道我们的新产品呢 good morning who's excited to hear about our new products
大家好！ hi everyone
我们很厉害 we kicked ass
上次了，但我有更大的目标 last time but i have even bigger goals
我想如果我们能让我们的数字达到我认为他们能达到的水平 i think if we can get our numbers to where i think they can go
我们可以去天空球 we could make it to sky ball
来吧耶 come on yeah
你好，你可以看到布拉德 hi you can see Brad yeah
每个人都吃惊的是 everyone surprise
有什么惊喜吗? what's the surprise
我是Brad this is Brad
新产品的品牌大使将负责市场营销 the brand ambassador for the new product will be marketing
我不确定你知道惊喜这个词是什么意思，来吧 i'm not sure you know what the word surprise means come on now
我们在大联盟里 we're in the big leagues
只有大预算的产品才有自己的产品 only the big budget products come with their own
品牌大使的现场展示 live presentation from their brand ambassador
这并不奇怪 that's not a surprise
让我们开始演示，大家注意听讲 let's start the presentation everyone pay attention
女士们先生们男孩们女孩们 ladies and gentleman boys and girls and
我跟你说过了 public masters i said to you
他们拥有得更快 their possessing faster
对他们最好的人 the one best to them
所有 all
在一个比马甲远得多的地方浪费时间 wasting time in a land far far away than the vest
我是我的他的背心在整个整个 i was my his vest in the whole whole
土地 land
它可能是一个原型，因为它在很久以前 it might have been a prototype because of it a long time ago
我们承认我们很固执 we disfessed we had a stubborn
给你的设备增压，给你的生活增压 supercharge your device and supercharge your life life what
背心不仅把你们联系在一起 not only does the vest connect you
还有连接你们和你们灵魂的设备 and your devices that connects you and your souls
水槽 the sink
让我们以舒适透气的设计为例 comfortable breathable design let's take
乱伦休息在任何地方人类去任何地方 incesting rest anywhere human go wherever
你的旅行可能会把你带得这么快 your travels may take you so without further ado
我给你带来舒适的休息 i bring to you sasty rest
告诉你的朋友今天只有一个在线好吗 tell your friends today only one online okay
先有一千八百五十五 one eight hundred five five five first
啊，谢谢，这是一个等待的演讲 ah thank you that was a wait a presentation
谢谢，有人有问题吗，我 thank you does anyone have any questions yeah i
有很多问题，比如我们刚刚看了什么 have a lot of questions like what the fuck did we just watch
我承认我有点含糊，布拉德 i will admit i was a little vague Brad
我觉得我们有点糊涂了 i think we're a little just confused
你能给我们演示一下你是如何使用这个产品的吗 could you show us how you use the product
别担心宝贝 don't worry baby
我才刚开始哦 i'm just getting started oh
好吧，我就不说话了 okay i'll just be quiet on watch
好吧 okay
觉得 feel that
现在想象一下 now imagine
你在一个拥挤的舞池里 you're in a packed dance floor okay
做机器人 do the robot
哦 oh
Cha Cha Cha Cha
然后突然你听到一个女人在哭哦，不 then all of a sudden you hear a woman crying oh no
那才是那种不是我的人 that's the type of guy that would be someone not me
穿着刺客背心 with assassin vest
你现在可以有信心去和有需要的女人说话了 you can now have the confidence to go speak to a woman in need
因为你身上有她想要的一切你 because you have everything she wants right in this vest you
您需要充电吗 do you need a charge
是的是的 yes yes
我真的，拜托，拜托 i do come on come on
你在耍我吗 are you shitting me
上帝保佑你，准备好了 Jesus right to you ready one
两个三 two three
哦，他在那里 oh there he is
充电 charging
这些核心设计得特别短，以促进商场的发展 these cores were designed extra short to promote a mall
亲密关系，等等 intimate connection wait wait
所以 so
这背心的作用就是给别人的手机充电 that's all this vest does is it charging someone's else phone
距离近得令人不舒服 at an uncomfortably close distance
肖恩，我们需要团队合作 Sean we need to work as a team here
你的消极态度真的没有帮助 and your negative attitude is really not helping well
拉娜，谢谢你 Lana thank you
很高兴你对这个项目这么兴奋 so like you to be so excited about project
我能说什么呢，我真的很喜欢这个节日哦 what can i say i really love this fest oh
是的，你继续吧，布拉德 yes why don't you continue Brad
抱歉，布拉德，请讲 sorry Brad yes
长官，就像我说的，这辆SDV不只是给你的手机充电 sir as i was said this sdv doesn't just charge your phone
它促进了更亲密的关系 it promotes that more intimate
通过保存对方的号码进行连接 connection by saving the person's number
谁在给手机充电 who is charging the phone
打开你的手机 open your phone
呃 uh
我没看见布拉德哦哦耶，我在输入热拐杖耶 i don't see Brad oh oh yeah i'm typing in hot crutch yeah
不好意思，热拐杖 excuse me oh hot crutch
哦，我在那儿 h O t c ah there
这是热裆 it is hot crotch
哇，这是一些很棒的东西 wow that is some neat stuff
居家男人的问题是性感胯部的标志 home guys question is hot crotch trademark
因为我想用它来演出 because i would like to use it for a gig
我没有人热拐杖是为每个人是的 i had no man hot crutch is for everyone yes
天空很好 the sky's all right
不，他不是，他演得很烂 no he's not he sucks show
他冷静点，兄弟 him calm down bro
让我看看，让我看看，一二三，看到了吗 let me see let me see one two three yeah see that
现在总结一下 and now in conclusion
这不仅仅是一种方便的充电方式 this is not just a convenient way to charge your phone
这是一段对话 it is a conversation
碎片和是革命性的方式，我们 piece and is revolutionary the way we
我不是我的朋友，他只是最好的 i'm not my friends he is just the best
很好 very nice
太棒了，谢谢你，布拉德 that was spectacular thank you Brad
哦，当然了 oh yeah of course
别担心宝贝 don't worry baby
我从来没有保住我的地盘 i never saved my ground
谢谢你今天的帮助 well thanks for your help today yeah
你欠我的，我得深挖才能装出来 you owe me i had to dig really deep to pretend
我在乎那件背心，对吧 i cared about that vest right
好吧，多么愚蠢的事情 okay what a stupid thing
怎么可能是这样呢 how can it even is this huh
为什么那人会考虑这个 why did the yell even take that account
我们是一家受人尊敬的营销公司 we are a respectable marketing firm
那件背心就是个笑话 and that vest is a fucking joke
嘿，我们最后的产品是一种会让你腹泻的茶 hey the last product we got was a tea that gave you diarrhea
所以你真的很惊讶 so are you really that surprised well
那杯茶可没装傻逼 that tea didn't come with a douchebag
谁拿了丹尼尔的电话 who took daniel's number
哦，我明白了 oh i see you're
嫉妒火辣的胯部我不嫉妒 jealous a hot crotch i am not jealous
没有理由这么做 there's no reason to be
嫉妒她从来不给他打电话，除非 jealous she would never call him unless
她会的，你觉得她会吗 she would do you think she would
直女都喜欢混蛋 i mean straight women love douche bags
但你好像是个混蛋 but like you're kind of a douche bag
也许她喜欢这个 maybe she's into that
我不是一个混蛋 i am not a douche bag
嗯，听起来像一个混蛋会说的话 hmm sounds like something a douche bag would say
我得坦白交代 i just got to come clean
告诉她我读了那些短信 and tell her that i read those texts
我也有同样的感觉 and that i feel the same way
这个星球已经崩溃了，我要失去她了 this planet's fell in already i'm going to lose her all right
别告诉她 don't tell her
你通读她的短信 you read through her texts
这是确保她永远不会相信的一种方法 it's a sure fire way to make sure that she never trusts
你猜我应该更努力，加快速度 you guess i just gotta try harder and speed up
这之前的射击 this firing before
她跑了，从此和他们幸福地生活在一起 she runs and live happily ever after with pacrotch hey
这就是现在的精神 that's the spirit now
我们在谈论你知道的 we're talking you know
我觉得你应该做得很戏剧化 i think you should make it really dramatic yeah
是的，你的账目是正确的 yeah you run the accounts right
是的，你想到了贝塞尔曼·特纳 yeah you thought about like besselman turner oh
很多，也许你可以去那里 that's a lot maybe you could go there
啊啊 啊啊
谢谢你今天抽空见我 thank you for squeezing me in today
布伦博士，我已经尽快赶来了 dr brenn i came as fast as i could
你的猫呢? where's your cat
一块饼干他在家 a cookie he's at home
你告诉我他癫痫发作了，这就是原因 you told me he was having a seizure that's why
我把你挤进去 i squeezed you in
我知道，但你不回我的短信和电话 i know but you weren't answering any of my text or calls
所以我不得不做我该做的 so i had to do what i had to do
但是饼干可以 but cookies fine
他没有癫痫发作，也没有 and he's not having a seizure and the
CBD滴剂实际上非常有效 cbd drops actually are really working great
你为什么不直接去全食超市呢 why don't you just run along down to Whole Foods
向他们征求一些医疗建议 and ask them for some medical advice
别再回来了 and don't come back here
我绝不会，布伦医生 i would never doctor brenn
我是这里多年的忠实客户 i've been a loyal client here many years hmm
不管怎样，肖恩，我告诉过你关于他的事，不记得了 anyways Sean i told you about him remember no well
他最近表现得很奇怪 he's been acting really weird lately
他觉得敬畏 he thinks awe
他只是对这个新项目不感兴趣 he's just not excited about this new project
我们正在努力 that we're working on
你觉得这意味着他对我不再感兴趣了吗 do you think that means he's not excited about me anymore oh
我真的不能说我知道 i really couldn't say i know
你真的不喜欢那件背心 you really didn't like the vest
但你总是说你可以把冰卖给爱斯基摩人 but you always say you can market ice to eskimos
我就是不明白 i just don't get it oh
我也不明白哦 i don't get it either oh
还有那个混蛋的脑子他今天拿走了我的号码 and the brain of bastard or hawkrotch he took my number today
我不确定他是否只是演讲的一部分 and i'm not sure if he was just part of the presentation
或者他是不是真的在勾引我 or if he was actually hitting on me
但我觉得我对肖恩不忠 but felt like i was cheating on Shawn right
在他面前的是那个奇怪的整个事情都很奇怪 in front of him is that weird the whole thing is weird
你太对了 you're so right
我不知道 i don't know
我不能一直等着肖恩采取行动 i can't keep waiting around for Shawn to make a move
如果我要继续你的生活，我也要继续我的生活 i need to move on with my life if moving on with your life
意思是你不能再和别人谈论这件事了 means that you're gonna stop talking about this with people
比如说我 you know like say me
那这就是你要做的，你是说 then that's what you got to do so are you saying
你 you
是不是应该用性感的胯部来转移我的注意力 should explore my options with hot crotch to take my mind off
肖恩，太好了 Sean sure great whatever
我是说只要 i mean as long
因为你不会再回来了 as you don't come back here
太谢谢你了，笨蛋，明天见什么不行 thank you so much off stupid i will see you tomorrow what no
你明天不会见到我你永远不会走 you will not see me tomorrow you never go
我可能又遇到奶牛紧急情况了 i might have another cow emergency
好的，团队们，我希望你们能和popcrotch分享 alright team i would love for you to share with popcrotch
你关于如何推销背心的新想法和口号 your new ideas and slogans on how to market the vest
我还应该叫你性感胯部吗这怎么用 should i still call you hot crotch how does this work
哦耶宝贝 oh yeah baby
其中一个最好的一个我总是热裆得到它嘿 one of one of the best i'm always hot crotch got it hey
我有一个关于音乐节的主意 i have an idea how about music festivals
我是说到处都有充电站 i mean they have charging stations everywhere
但如果你戴着 but if you're wearing one
那你就不需要了好主意，米歇尔 then you don't need those that's a great idea Michelle
我们在机场就像穿着热情背心飞到一英里高 we're at airports something like fly mile high with zesty vest
可能有点太暗示性了 um probably a bit too suggestive
但我们可以和那家伙合作 but we can work with that dude
我只是想让你知道我想了很多 i just want you to know that i gave it a lot of thought
今晚的演出我要用hawkrotch这个名字 and i'm gonna use the name hawkrotch tonight for my gig
谢谢，太好了 so thank you that's great
你要告诉我进展如何 you let me know how it goes all right well
我希望你不介意 i hope you don't mind
但我在社交媒体上查到了线索 but i got a head on some social media
今天早上发布了我自己的竞选活动 and posting my own campaign this morning
你没跟任何人商量就这么做了吗 did you just did that without consulting anybody
我当然知道，我不知道你会怎么考虑 i sure did i don't know how you would considering
我还没有发出任何密码 i haven't sent out any of the passwords
然而，好吧 yet oh well
我是说，我穿上了一件笨重的麦克鲁切森背心 i mean i plugged in a crutchy mccrutcherson vest
它下载了所有的密码和个人照片 and it downloaded all this passwords and personal photos
立即发送到我的手机 instantly to my phone
我不从事产品开发工作 i don't work in product development
但你应该把它修好，伙计 but you should probably get that fix hey man
那是我的部门，好吧 that's a on my department okay
不管怎么说，我查到了，这就是我查到的 anyways i got a hit on it and this is what i have
肖恩 Sean
别告诉我你把它放到了闺蜜节目上 please don't tell me you made that go live on the bestie best
Instagram上的活动确实如此 Instagram campaign sure did
我现在似乎无法登录，你是什么意思 i can't seem to log on now what do you mean
你不能，Wi - Fi肯定不好 you can't the Wi Fi must be bad
哦,狗屎 oh shit
你不能登录账号，因为Instagram关闭了 what you can't log into the account because the Instagram's down
什么 what
操不操 fuck no fuck
我的手机没电了 my phone is dead
快来人，我要充电你的手机没电了 quick someone i need a charge what your phone is fucking dead
我的意思是你真的带了一个手机充电器 i mean you are literally wearing a phone charger
我今天早上没拼尽全力，操 i didn't charge my best this morning fuck okay
这些应该会得到更多的这些品牌 these are supposed to be getting these brands more
但它并没有消失，是的 but it's not getting paging away yeah
我检查过了，绝对没问题 i checked it's definitely down okay
好吧 okay
别慌，别慌 no panic don't panic
哦，看，好了，好了 oh look okay good gone
我的个人资料我的头像是29 my profile my profile picture twenty nine
每天都有上千人醒来 thousand people to wake up every single day
期待看到我穿上这身最好的 looking forward to looking at me in this best
我把人们团结在一起 i brought the people together
而你你杀了我的家人 and you you killed my family all right
好吧，鲍勃，查理 all right Bob Charlie
有什么误会，不 there's some kind of misunderstanding no
我们不能在那些页面上穿裸体，我是说这是营销 we can't pierce nudity on those pages i mean this is marketing
是的，我们的工作就是被创造 right it's our job to be created
你谋杀 you murder
大家说再见吧 let's say bye everyone
肖恩，你为什么不回家呢 Shawn why don't you go home
考虑一下，为明天想出一些新点子 think about vincing come on with some fresh ideas for tomorrow
为什么 why
天哪，这不是真的 oh god that's not true
我是她的朋友 i'm her friend that was um
我手机里有你的号码，所以我是你的朋友 i have your number in my phone so that makes me a friend right
这都是因为对最佳的痴迷 and it's all because of obsessive best
看你，我所有的朋友都走了，把我留在这左边 see you so all my friends are gone leave me on this left so
你能不能。 would you maybe
的某个时候 sometime
和我一起吃晚饭 grab dinner with me
哦 oh
我的意思是，我可以从我对你的感觉中猜出来 i mean sure i can guess from i kind of feel it to you
哈哈哈哈哈哈 哈哈哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈 哈哈哈
我猜她拿出的是iPhone 3 i guess what she pulls out what an iPhone three
iPhone 3，我是说我没有iPhone 3卡哦 iPhone three i mean i don't have a card for an iPhone 3 oh
我应该拥有一切 and i should have everything
我只是我只是帮不了她我只能让她走了 and i just i just couldn't help her i had to let her go
我猜你不可能赢得所有的比赛，我猜你不可能 well i guess you can't win them all i guess you cannot hmm
哇，我真没想到你会做这么棒的厨师 wow i really did not expect you to be such an amazing cook
晚餐非常棒，谢谢你 i mean dinner was really great thank you well
我不仅仅是一张漂亮的脸和一个 i'm way much more than just a pretty face and a
非常棒的背心，我看得出来，你总是穿背心吗 really great vest i can see that so do you always wear the vest
即使你在家的时候 even when you're at home
我的意思是最好不是什么东西 i mean best isn't something
你可以穿上就出去，这是一种生活方式，宝贝 you can just put on and go out it's a lifestyle baby
当我接手一个品牌的时候 and when i take on a brand
我就是这个品牌，我会全力以赴 i am the brand and i will give it my absolute everything
我尊重这一点 i respect that
但你肯定会摘下它，对不对，真的，真的 but surely you take it off sometimes right nope really really
我的小姐，你需要一个充电是啊 my lady you're in need of a charge yeah
我是说今天结束了，但是博士你的品牌是 i mean end of the day but um dr your brand was
告诉我 telling me
你知道，我需要开始多出去交际 that i need to you know start going out and socializing more
我真的开始享受生活了，你知道的 and uh i just really started enjoying life you know
所以我不知道 so i don't know
我只是不想太担心我的手机，想拔掉插头 just trying to stop worrying about my phone so much and unplug
真的要活在当下，好吧 and just really be in the moment plug yeah well
在我身边，你永远不会被拔掉插头 around me you'll never be unplugged
哦哦 oh oh
这是错误的 it's the wrong one
whoopsie whoopsie
泰格，她是这么说的 tag is she saying that okay
现在我们开始 now here we go
哦，哇，产品向前延伸哦 oh wow the product extends forward oh
你想要更长的头发 you want it longer
哦，那太好了 oh yeah that would be great
你能告诉我吗? can you show me
哇，这真是一个很棒的功能 oh wow that's a really great feature
想走多远就走多远 go any length you want
哦，哇，那真的很方便 oh wow that is really convenient
哦，是的，我必须把它放在营销计划中 oh i have to put that in the marketing plan yes
你现在应该，我们只是 you should now we're just
你感觉到了吗? do you feel it
你感觉到力量了吗 do you feel the power
我看到了，他在充电 i see it is is he charging
不不 no no
亲爱的，你是做什么的 what do you do hon
你感觉到了吗? do you feel it
哦，宝贝 oh well baby
这就是他们叫我热拐杖的原因 this is why they call me hot crutch
我想我现在明白了 i think i get it now
哈 哈
哈哈 哈哈
没有生病 no sick
没有等待 no wait
它们必须插电吗? must they plugged
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊 啊
呆在那里，没有惊喜，因为你呆在那里 stay there no surprise for you stay there
你真的很想看看他的胯部 you really want to see the hockrotch
啊哈 啊哈
嗯 嗯
啊嗯啊 啊嗯啊
哦,徒步旅行 oh hike
哦 oh
我的手 my hands
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
哦,我的 oh my
神 god
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
我的天啊 oh my god
是的 yes
我的天啊 oh my god
假的 fake
哦，天哪，他是 oh god he is
哦,我的 oh my
他是上帝 god he is
哦,假的 oh fake
哦是的是的 oh yes yes
就这么说 just say that
哦,假的 oh fake
假的 fake
哦，我甚至没有想过这个，是的，他是 oh i didn't even think about that yes oh he is
哦，你拿的是假的 oh you got a fake
哦,是的 oh yes
我的天啊，他就在那儿 oh my god right there he is just
哦 oh
是的，你他妈的 yes oh you are fucking
等等，等等 wait wait wait
我得把这个穿上你一定要穿大巴吗 i gotta put this back on do you have to wear the bus
我必须穿上剩下的，剩下的总是剩下的，哦耶 i have to wear the rest the rest is always the rest oh yeah
我的天啊 oh my god
哦,是的 oh yes
好了 there we go
哦哇 oh wow
嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯
嗯 嗯
哈哈哈，我是说这都是对的 hahaha i mean it's all one right
等等等等什么就亲一下就一个 wait wait what just kiss it just one
就一个，就一点 just one just a little one
啊啊 啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊啊 啊啊
哦哦 oh oh
是的，操 yes oh fuck
噢,是的 oh yeah
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
哦，我操 oh good fuck
啊哦买噶 啊哦买噶
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
啊哦赛天 啊哦赛天
啊啊 啊啊
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
是的是的是的 yes yes yes
我的天啊 oh my god fuck
是的，哦，是的 yes oh yes
在这里 right there
我的天啊 oh my god fuck
哦,是的 oh yes
哦，上帝，谢谢你 oh god thank you
哦,打 oh fight
我的天啊 oh my goodness
我的天啊 oh my god
我的天啊 oh my goodness
啊 ah
是的是的 yes yes
啊 ah
哇塞 哇塞
啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊
天啊，我真是太有礼貌了 oh my god i'm so freaking courteous
他只会带着这个给我的客人 he is gonna be only with that to my guest
假的哦 fake oh
I是I是 i is i is just
啊 啊
是的，他们在操我们 yes they're fucking us
啊 啊
哎呀啊 哎呀啊
哦 oh
我的 my
神 god
哦,是的 oh yes
是的 yes
是的是的是的 yes yes yes
哦 oh
是的，就像这样 yes just like that
我的天啊 oh my gosh fuck
是的，别停，别停 yes don't stop don't stop
我的天啊 oh my god
哦，感谢上帝 oh thank god
看啊，天啊，太好吃了 oh look at that oh god it's so good
啊哎呀 啊哎呀
我的天啊 oh my god
好了，好了 there we go there you go
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊呀呀呀啊 啊呀呀呀啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
哦,是的 oh yes
哦，我喜欢看，哦，这他妈的是一场精彩的战斗 oh i love watching that oh the fuck is good fight
哦，是的，哦，是的 oh yes oh yes
这就对了 there you go yes
叫我热拐杖吧 call me hot Crutch
使用你的热拐杖 use your hot Crutch
哦,是的 oh yes
把那该死的鸡腿给我 give me that fucking cockrotch yeah
说出来，让我看看 say it let me see yeah
没有热拐杖很有趣，是啊 it's funny without a hot crutch yeah
哦,是的 oh yes
请把那个给我，哦，你喜欢我，拿那个电缆吧 please give me that oh you like me take that cable
拿着这根电缆 take that cable
把它给我 give it to me oh
我的天啊，是的 my god oh yes
迈克，你感受一下力量吧 Mike will you feel the power
哦，好，操，操，猜大厅 oh good fuck fuck guess hall
来吧，那个大厅的拐杖 come on that hall crutch
哦，操我 oh fuck me
我的天啊 oh my goodness
哦 oh
是的，是的，宝贝 yes oh yes baby
我的球没事 my ball it's okay
我有很多球，这里有两个 i got plenty balls i've got two right here
哇 wow
哦 oh
是的 yes
哦 oh
我想这些动作就像拐杖一样逗我玩 i guess just these moves like a cocon crutch tease me with it
让我乞求那根热拐杖 make me fucking beg for that hot crutch yeah
是的哦 yes oh
所以他让我乞求那根热拐杖 so he did oh make me fucking beg for that hot crutch
我的天啊 oh my goodness
你会知道你说的是什么语言 you're gonna know you speaking by the language
哦，我的天啊，是的 oh my goodness yes
是的是的 yes yes
猫妈妈 mother pussy mom
求你了，猫咪妈妈 please mother pussy
是的是的 yes yes
哦，我的天啊，她的阴道里有块碎石哦，谢谢 oh my god a rubble in that pussy oh thank you
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
是的是的是的 yes yes yes
是的是的 yes yes
哦，他妈的有吗? oh fuck is there
把它给我 just give it to me
请把它给我 give it to me please
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
啊，太好了 ah ah good oh
是的，是的，哦，我有一件事 yes yes oh i got a thing thing
哦，妈的，我真想把它弄成那样 oh fuck i want to make this come out just like that
哦,是的 oh yes
啊别送 啊别送
哦 oh
天啊，是的，我操你 oh my god yes i fuck you
啊好假哦，我的天啊 啊好FAKE oh my god oh yeah
哦呀哦 哦呀哦
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
拜托，我的天哪 please oh my goodness
哦 oh
他有一个 he has a
哎 哎
我的天啊 oh my goodness
是的，操 yes oh fuck
是的 yes
我的天啊，是的 oh my god yes
是的，是的，是的 yes yes yes yes
哦，迈克，我的天啊 oh Mike oh my god
哦，天哪，迈克，是的 oh my god Mike yes
我的天啊 oh my god
哦，去你的 oh fuck guys
不好，很好 no good good
哦，是的，哦，是的 oh yes oh yes
是的 yes
他妈的是的 fuck yes
哦，是的，从我身上来吧 oh yes come through me hot crudge yes
是的是的是的 yes yes yes
哦好 oh fine
是的，嗯 ah yes hmm
所以他们叫我热拐杖 and that's why they call me hot crutch
是的，我现在完全明白了 yeah i definitely get it now
听 listen
我不知道现在提起这件事是不是不合适 i don't know this is the wrong time to bring this up again
但今天发生的事我真的很抱歉 but i'm really sorry about what happened today
你把你的产品托付给我们 you trusted us with your product
我看得出来你很在乎这个品牌 and i can see you obviously care so much about the brand
我只是想让你知道 and i just really want you to know that
这种事不会再发生了 this will never happen again
哦 oh
托辊绕在侧面 pint roller around the side
你知道 you know
没关系，今天就开一个新账户 it's okay start a new account today
嗯 hmm
我的粉丝比我这辈子拥有的都多 i have more followers than i've ever had in my whole life uh
你没听见吗? did you not hear
我们的离合器会疯传的，宝贝 our clutch is gonna viral baby what yeah
擦蓝锡 wipes blue tin
我现在是个表情包 i'm a meme now
他的背心到处都卖得很好 his vest is selling out everywhere actually well
他被出卖了，真的真的 he's sold out really really
哇，我不知道 wow i have no idea
肖恩真的很清楚自己在做什么 Sean really did know what he was doing ah
去他妈的那家伙什么 fuck that guy what
他是个营销天才，一手把公司卖出去了 he's a marketing genius who single handedly sold out
你愚蠢的最好 your stupid best
对不起，我我不是故意的 i'm sorry i i didn't mean it
我只是我从来没和表情包上过床 i just i've never had sex with the meme before
我只是有点紧张 i'm just a little nervous
问技巧 q tips
哦 oh
好了 there we go
今天天气真好 it is so good today
非常感谢你，大卫 thank you so much David
我们已经开始着手了 we are already getting started on it
哦，你想见我 oh you wanted to see me
是的，进来，大卫，向制作这个的人问好 yes come in David say hello to the man who made this
跟肖恩打个招呼 all happen say hi to Sean oh wow
我只有一次机会见到他，你好 i've only get a chance to meet him hello
肖恩，谢谢你所做的一切 Sean thanks for all the good work you've been doing
别客气，这性感的裤裆，不，不 you're welcome is this hot crotch no no
我是公司办公室的大卫 this is David from the corporate office
他很高兴 he is very happy
你的创新营销方法的成功 with the success of your creative approach to marketing
塞西有一间公司办公室 sessie has a corporate office
谢谢你打电话给大卫 thanks for calling David
我们要开始头脑风暴了 we're Gonna start brainstorming
为直播活动准备好创意 getting the creative juices going for the livestream event well
好吧 all right
很高兴见到你，肖恩，继续好好工作，再见 it's nice to meet you Sean keep up both good work all right bye
等等，我以为你叫我来的 now wait i thought you called me in here
因为你想炒了我 because you wanted to fire me oh
是的，但你比我早一步你让史蒂夫斯科走红 i was but you were one step ahead of me you made stevesco viral
我做了别装傻了你知道你在做什么 i did oh don't play dumb you knew what you were doing
我真不敢相信你 i can't believe you
成功了 pulled this off
我觉得很糟糕 i feel terrible for
甚至考虑我的电话号码 even thinking about my number
我是说，有个家伙变成了混蛋 one guy was turning into some kind of jackass i mean
就连你都让我认输了，你知道我的意思 even you had me fold and you know i mean
我永远不会让你失望 i would never let you down yeah
我只是开个玩笑骗了你，你当然骗了 it was a joke i fooled you you sure did
所以我不会被解雇，事实上不会 so i'm not getting fired no in fact
我要提拔你为竞选负责人 i'm promoting you to head of the campaign
我要你设计一件姐妹背心 i want you to plan a sisty vest
直播上线 live stream launch
我要你负责一切 i want you in charge of everything
我什么都不想签就给我个惊喜吧 i don't even want to sign off on anything just surprise me
下周五的派对是什么时候 so when is this party next Friday
但这不是你的出生吗 but hey isn't that your birth
没人需要知道今天是我生日，拜托 no one needs to know it's my birthday come on
你真的想让我在你生日那天办个派对假装 you really want me to plan a party on your birthday and pretend
今天不是你的生日 it's not your birthday yes
就像我说的，给我个惊喜 like i said surprise me
但别小题大做 but don't make a big deal out of it
或者别的什么，重点是卖马甲 or anything the point is to sell vest
不是来祝我生日快乐的太好了 not to wish me happy birthday great
你可以相信我，我不会让你失望的 well you could trust me i won't let you down
哦，肖恩，是的，如果你定了蛋糕的话 oh Shawn yes if you do order a cake
不是说你必须这么做 not saying that you have to
但如果你要吃，一定要确保是无麸质的 but if you do just make sure it's gluten free
所以每个人都可以享受它 so everyone can enjoy it yeah
谢谢你提醒我 thanks for reminding me
你觉得呢? what do you think
我不明白这是最好的生日派对吗 i don't get it is it the best birthday party
或者是danielle的生日 or it's danielle's birthday
所以这是一个共同的生日派对和一个最好的午餐派对 so it's a joint birthday party and a best lunch party got it
丹尼尔总是抱怨她如何 Daniel always complains of how she
从来没有人庆祝她的生日 never gets a celebrate her birthday
因为她总是在工作 because she's always working
所以我希望她进来的时候每个人都能给她一个惊喜 so i want everybody to really surprise her when she walks in
约翰尼是的 Johnny yeah
你准备好演出所需的一切了吗 do you have everything that you need to get your show going
我有一张桌子 i got a table
我正在使用的是一种类似桌布的音响系统 a tablecloth kind of sound system am i working with here
很好，别担心，我的音频级别是谁做的 is great don't worry who did my audio levels
因为我想和他们谈谈这些 because i want to talk to them about those
看的人 look man
我把一切都安排好了我们都会遵守我的承诺好的 i took care of everything we'll all do what i promise all right
好吧，你知道 all right you know
我的预算比以前少多了，所以我 i'm doing this on a much lower budget than i'm used to so i
如果你不告诉别人别担心，我会很感激的 i'd really appreciate if you wouldn't tell anyone don't worry
我会替你保守秘密的，好吗 your secret is safe with me okay
好吧,约翰 okay Johnny
你能帮我把这些花炸掉吗 you think you could help me blow these blooms up
什么，耶，我不做，我是天才 what yeah i don't do that i'm talent
你可以雇一个小丑来吹气球 you can hire a clown to blow up balloons
因为我要上声乐课，天啊 because i got to do vocal lessons Jesus
好了，丹尼尔马上就到，你们准备好了吗 all right Daniel will be here soon so are you guys ready yep
我也很兴奋 i'm excited me too
我也是哦 me too oh
那是沉船 that's the shipwreck
我得接电话了 i gotta take this
嘿，别再用掌上电脑了 hey cool off on the pda
你会暴露我们的身份的 you're gonna blow our cover
这真的让我心烦意乱 it's really fucking with my head
我只是厌倦了隐瞒好吧 i'm just tired of hiding it yeah well
只要你还有丈夫，你就得我告诉过你 as long as you have a husband you kind of have to i told you
我正在努力，你总是这么说 i'm working on it you always say that
他妈的，阿门，为什么 fucking amen why'd
我又要去爱上一个直女了 i have to go and fall for a straight chick again look
我只是在等 i'm just waiting to
有人回复了，但在那之前 hear back from someone but until then
我不想提这件事，直到 i don't want to mention it until
这是肯定的，是的 it's definite yeah
那我们现在为什么要谈这个 so then why are we talking about it now
好了，我们快到了，准备好了吗 all right we're almost at go time are you ready
我们很快就会进行直播 we'll be live streaming soon
怎么了，勇敢的人们 what's up hardy people
哦,伟大的 oh great
你在这里 you're here
是的什么 yeah what
当然啊，口渴的第一个家伙，你想要什么 of course ah thirsty first guy what do you expect
我不知道，我以为你会 i don't know i thought you might
现在有比你和我更令人兴奋的事情要做吗 have more excited things to do now that you and me yeah well
我现在真的不能忘记那些小人物 i can't really forget about the little people now
我默默无闻的时候，他们支持我 they had my back when i was nobody here
丹尼尔 Danielle
好吧，听着 all right look
戴尔十分钟后就到，大家各就各位 Dale will be here in ten minutes so get in places
我会留意的 i'll be on the lookout
哈哈哈哈 哈哈哈哈
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
哦，当我的生日真是不太好 oh it's really not to be good to be my birthday
我和大家祝你生日快乐，最好是活着的女孩 happy birthday from me and everybody as este best be alive girl
大家好，今天是戴尔的生日 hello camera everybody is Dale's birthday
是的,嘿 yes hey
去参加我的生日 headed up for my birthday
我们想让你戴上我的热情面具，参加今天的派对 we want you to my zesty mask now on with the party today
我们有自己的办公室名人 we have our very own office celebrity
约翰尼手枪 Johnny pistol
谁是来表演特别节目的 who is here to put on a special show
给你的，你会喜欢《娱乐人》的 just for you you're Gonna love it at entertainer person
你选了约翰尼 you picked Johnny
嘿每个人 hey everybody
是约翰尼·活塞 it's Johnny Piston
今天我们要为你们表演一场木偶戏 we're gonna have a puppet show for you today
丹尼尔，你居然是寿星 Daniel you're the birthday girl surprisingly
他实际上是被当作固定物埋葬的 he was actually buried as fixed
我们坐下来看看约翰尼·皮斯托在狗狗里 let's have a seat in see Johnny pistol in the puppies
呃 uh
我能从观众中找个志愿者吗好的，我来做 can i get a volunteer from the audience yeah i'll do it
给你 here you go
把手伸进去，用左手 just put a hand in there just go with the left
嗨，儿子，嗨，爸爸，你知道你今天18岁了吧 hello son hi dad you know you're 18 today right
是的，我不敢相信我已经18岁了 yeah i can't believe i'm 18 yay
哦，这很好，现在他妈的 oh that's good now that fuck this
我很幸运，我是一个营销天才，记住 i'm so blessed i'm a marketing genius remember
我马上就回来 i'll be right back
我得去拿点东西 i gotta go get something
好吧，爸爸，解释一下，好吧，好吧 okay dad explain all right all right
大家都准备好了吗? everybody are you ready
嘿，我还以为要花整整一个小时呢 hey i thought it was gonna get a whole hour to do this
哦，你可以继续 oh you could keep going
完全不用担心，没什么了不起的 totally don't worry no awesome okay
约翰尼，准备好了吗? Johnny you ready
出来吧 come on out
哦再见 whoo goodbye
谁是寿星 who's the birthday boy
那个女孩是谁? who's the girl
谁是寿星 who's the birthday girl
是丹妮尔，她就在这里，不 it's Danielle she's right here no
不不 no no
我不需要什么生日治疗，谢谢 i don't need any birthday treatment thank you
谢谢大家，这是个好主意 thank you it's a guys
也谢谢你 thank you too
去你妈的 fuck you oh
我儿子的老二还挺爽的 my son's dick is ripping it all right
是的 yeah
我希望这一切没有发生 make a wish i wish this wasn't happening
有人要蛋糕吗? anyone wants cake
啊哈哈 啊哈哈
这太他妈丹妮尔了 this is so fucking Danielle
下次我们做爱的时候 next time we have sex
哦，是的，你和他做爱 oh yeah what you have sex with him
你他妈的 are you fucking
跟我开玩笑哦耶 kidding me oh yeah
她，伙计，我有石头，哇耶 she dude i got rocks whoa yeah
天啊，我得去把蛋糕弄掉 oh my god need to go get cake off
这到底是怎么回事 what the fuck is going on
地球 planet
好吧 okay
她需要一切 she needs an everything
拜托告诉我那是为了做免费蛋糕，肖恩 please told me that was to create a free cake Shawn
我脑子里有很多房子 i have so much house in my mind i
你脑子里满是房子，搞砸了一切 oh so much house in your mind like fucking up everything
好吧，把这个山谷搞得一团糟是很费功夫的 okay it takes a lot of effort to fuck up this valley
你为什么在你的屁股里做那件事 why are you in your ass do that
因为我爱你，这就是原因 cause i love you that's why
嘿，我希望得到我的全部报酬，我也一样，我失去了人群 hey i expect to get my full rate me too i'm losing the crowd
我很抱歉，这不是你的错 i'm so sorry about this it's not your fault
肖恩 Shaun
他有个愚蠢的想法 he had this stupid idea that
如果他不和你一起工作，你就和他约会 if he didn't work together you date him
所以他想被解雇 so he's trying to get fired
我的律师发短信告诉我，我离婚了 my lawyer texted me my divorce went through
我差点就死了好吧 it only took me almost dying okay well
即使你真的死了 even if you did die
我只是为了自己的私利让你起死回生 i would just bring you back to life for my own selfish purposes
我爱你 i love you
艾玛 Emma
你会没事吧 are you gonna be okay
最终 eventually
我们可能得去趟急诊室哦 we just might need to make a stop by the emergency room oh
我们可以第一次约会 we can be our first date
嗨,丹尼尔 hey Danielle
你想参加最后一幕吗 do you want to be part of the last act
不是今晚 not tonight
我会想念这个地方的 i'ma miss this place
饼干 cookie
虽然我们从未谋面，但我是最想念你的人 although we never met i'm a miss you the most
哦,你好 oh hi
我不知道这里有人 i didn't know anyone was here
我正在收拾我的箱子 i was just getting my box together now
这样我明天就不用面对任何人了 so i don't have to face anyone tomorrow
你在这里做什么 what are you doing here
好吧 well
多亏了你 thanks to you
我可能整晚都在这里 i will probably be here all night
做一些非常广泛的损害控制 doing some very extensive damage control
我很抱歉 i'm sorry
你知道最糟糕的是什么吗以为你就是那个人 you know the part that sucks the most thought you were the guy
我一直想 i always want to
我需要你帮忙控制损失 and i need you to help with damage control
你的床呢? what about your bed
布伦医生他限制我进医院，所以 oh dr brenn he restricted my access to hospital so
我再也联系不上他了 i can't contact him anymore
你怎么知道 how do you know
我跟我自己说 i talked to me about oh
我拿着你的iPad的时候读了你的几条短信 i read a few of your texts when i had your iPad
你的意思是多少 how much did you mean
我读书是为了知道我们都对彼此有感觉 i read to know that we both have feelings for each other
或者我们有过我不确定你还留着它们 or we did i'm not so sure you have them anymore
肖恩 Sean
是的 yes
我爱你 i love you
我爱你 i love you to
你被解雇了 and you're fired
真是松了一口气 that's such a relief
因为我已经没有办法再搞砸了 because i was running out of ways to fuck this up anymore
哈哈哈 哈哈哈
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊 啊
就在那里，就在那里 right there right there
哦，弗兰克，哦，弗兰克，哦，是的 oh frank oh frank oh yes
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
嗯 嗯
哇哈 哇哈
所以 so
是的 yes
啊啊 啊啊
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
哦 oh
我的天啊，是的，宝贝 my god he is yes baby
是的，感谢上帝 yes oh thank god
啊啊 啊啊
啊啊啊 啊啊啊
啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊
啊 啊
mmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm
啊 啊
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
啊 啊
啊啊啊啊啊 啊啊啊啊啊
嗯 嗯
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
嗯嗯嗯 嗯嗯嗯
嗯嗯 嗯嗯
啊 啊
啊啊 啊啊
啊 ah
啊假 ah fake
啊啊 啊啊
哦,他妈的 oh fuck
就在这里 it's right there
去你妈的，真是去你妈的 fuck you it's very fuck you
哦 oh
他把我骗到了 he has me there
哦假的是的是的 oh fake yes yes
哦，天哪，假的 oh god fake
是的 yes
啊谢谢啊啊 啊thank you啊啊