1 00:01:18,784 --> 00:01:22,880 Hey, Trapper, how much do you suppose this stuff's worth on the black market? 2 00:01:22,955 --> 00:01:25,515 What would you do with your share? 3 00:01:25,591 --> 00:01:27,855 Pay for my hernia operation. 4 00:01:27,927 --> 00:01:31,522 All right, let me see... blankets, powdered milk, penicillin. 5 00:01:31,597 --> 00:01:33,963 Okay, that's everything. 6 00:01:37,036 --> 00:01:38,970 All right, Sister Theresa, all set. 7 00:01:39,038 --> 00:01:42,804 Oh, how can I ever thank you, Hawkeye? 8 00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:46,936 - And you, Trapper. - No, don't thank us. We're just acting on orders. 9 00:01:47,012 --> 00:01:51,472 But whose? Who's the author of all this generosity? 10 00:01:51,550 --> 00:01:55,577 Uh, Tuttle. Captain Tuttle. That's who. Right, Trap? 11 00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:59,556 - Captain Tuttle? - One of our finest officers. 12 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:05,120 - And a beautiful man. - Just picture George Washington with John Wayne's agent. 13 00:02:05,197 --> 00:02:09,065 I'll have the children at the orphanage write him a thank you letter tomorrow. 14 00:02:09,135 --> 00:02:12,070 Oh, don't do that. He doesn't like anybody to make a fuss. 15 00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:15,904 No, no, uh-uh, that's right. I mean, he's Mr. Humility. 16 00:02:15,975 --> 00:02:18,944 - Captain Humility, actually. - Captain Humility. 17 00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:24,278 - Just tell the good captain I'll be praying for him. Good-bye. - Bye. 18 00:02:29,155 --> 00:02:34,286 - Lovely lady. - Yeah, but she could never be more than a sister to me. 19 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,295 Isn't she wasting her prayers on somebody who doesn't exist? 20 00:02:37,363 --> 00:02:40,298 - Who doesn't exist? - This, uh, Tuttle you made up. 21 00:02:42,535 --> 00:02:45,663 Who says I made him up? 22 00:02:45,738 --> 00:02:48,468 Don't con me. He's a figment of your imagination. 23 00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:51,476 And what makes you think you're not? 24 00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:02,983 - Rough shift. - Picnic. 25 00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:05,046 Oh, not too many wounded, huh? 26 00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:09,060 - No, no wounded. I worked on a pregnant infantryman. - Oh? 27 00:03:09,128 --> 00:03:12,996 Nobody can figure out how it happened either. He hasn't been near a woman in months. 28 00:03:13,065 --> 00:03:16,000 Ahh, that's coffee. 29 00:03:16,068 --> 00:03:19,936 - Hawkeye. - Anybody coming in here telling me about more wounded... 30 00:03:20,005 --> 00:03:21,939 is sucking around for a lobotomy. 31 00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:24,066 Captain Tuttle's gotta sign this requisition form... 32 00:03:24,143 --> 00:03:27,874 before Sister Theresa can get her next batch of supplies. 33 00:03:27,947 --> 00:03:30,415 Listen, how did you come up with a name like "Tuttle" anyway? 34 00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:34,418 - It was my imaginary childhood friend. - You had an imaginary friend? 35 00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:38,616 Yeah, if anybody said, "Who knocked over the garbage?" I said, "Tuttle." 36 00:03:38,691 --> 00:03:41,990 They said, "Who broke that window?" "Tuttle." 37 00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:44,256 - "Who wet the bed?" - "Tuttle." 38 00:03:44,330 --> 00:03:46,662 He had no control at all. 39 00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:49,826 - So when you got drafted... - He got drafted. 40 00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:52,370 Just in case you wet your cot. 41 00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:54,531 Precisely. 42 00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:57,599 Hey, I had an imaginary friend when I was a little boy. 43 00:03:57,676 --> 00:04:01,669 - Terrific. - Her name was Shirley. 44 00:04:05,184 --> 00:04:07,550 - Your imaginary friend was a girl? - Mm-hmm. 45 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:11,556 - What'd she look like? - Like me, 46 00:04:11,624 --> 00:04:14,286 - only with tiny little breasts. - Out! 47 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,294 Out! 48 00:04:22,465 --> 00:04:24,626 - Good morning, sir. - Morning, Radar. 49 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:27,191 - Sign these, please. - Right. 50 00:04:27,269 --> 00:04:29,328 Whoa, those stockings came out nice, sir. 51 00:04:29,405 --> 00:04:31,669 - Yeah, my wife sent me some new soap powder. - Uh-huh. 52 00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:34,436 - Uh, where do l... - Sign the original of each form, sir, 53 00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:36,501 and initial the carbon copies. 54 00:04:36,579 --> 00:04:39,810 Or, if you want, you can sign the carbon copies and initial the originals. 55 00:04:39,882 --> 00:04:44,080 And then sign this form signifying that you signed what you should've initialed. 56 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,781 Radar, do you really understand all this army stuff? 57 00:04:46,856 --> 00:04:49,450 It helps not to be too bright, sir. 58 00:04:49,525 --> 00:04:53,256 Uh, sir, would you sign the supplementary supply form, please? 59 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:56,492 It only needs a countersignature. 60 00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:59,864 - Captain Tuttle's already okayed it. - Fine. 61 00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:03,803 Captain Tuttle? Which one's Captain Tuttle? 62 00:05:05,574 --> 00:05:08,566 Oh, you know, sir, that new man, Captain Tuttle. 63 00:05:08,644 --> 00:05:12,512 - Did I meet him yesterday at breakfast? - Yes. 64 00:05:12,581 --> 00:05:15,812 Wait a minute. I didn't have breakfast yesterday. 65 00:05:15,885 --> 00:05:19,981 - Then you must've met him somewhere else, sir. - Oh, right. 66 00:05:20,055 --> 00:05:22,649 You put him in charge of supplementary supplies. 67 00:05:22,725 --> 00:05:24,818 Oh, yeah, that's why he signed a supply form. 68 00:05:24,894 --> 00:05:27,829 Tuttle... I knew I'd seen his name somewhere. 69 00:05:29,498 --> 00:05:32,831 - If you'll just okay the duty roster. - Yep. [Sighs] 70 00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:36,668 - Major Burns is "Officer of the Day" again? - He volunteered. 71 00:05:36,739 --> 00:05:38,866 Frank always volunteers. 72 00:05:38,941 --> 00:05:42,536 If we had a firing squad, he'd volunteer to be in charge of it... 73 00:05:42,611 --> 00:05:45,341 or in front of it, or both. 74 00:05:45,414 --> 00:05:48,178 [Together] Yes, sir. 75 00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:51,344 - I knew you'd say that. - Oh. 76 00:05:54,256 --> 00:05:56,588 - Radar. - Sir? 77 00:05:56,659 --> 00:06:00,720 - Let's give Frank a little help winning the war. - Sir? 78 00:06:00,796 --> 00:06:04,596 - What about Captain Tuttle? - What about him? 79 00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,897 Well, has he ever pulled any O.D. Duty? 80 00:06:10,272 --> 00:06:13,469 - No, sir. - Radar, if it's one thing I insist on, 81 00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:16,477 it's that every officer in my command pulls his fair share of the load. 82 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:20,614 No matter who he is. 83 00:06:22,184 --> 00:06:25,085 Or isn't. 84 00:06:25,187 --> 00:06:27,951 Attention: A change in the duty roster! 85 00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:32,960 Tomorrow, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle will be Officer of the Day. 86 00:06:33,028 --> 00:06:36,020 - Frank, did you hear that? - But I volunteered. 87 00:06:36,098 --> 00:06:39,864 If you're free tomorrow night, I've got some new literature on pelvic deviation. 88 00:06:39,935 --> 00:06:43,393 Margaret, I don't know any Captain Tuttle. Do you? Tuttle? 89 00:06:43,472 --> 00:06:45,406 Well, he must be new. 90 00:06:45,474 --> 00:06:48,238 Well, then, why didn't he report to me? I'm second in command. 91 00:06:48,310 --> 00:06:52,269 I'm sure Colonel Blake will get around to it once he finishes his laundry. 92 00:06:52,348 --> 00:06:54,646 Yes, there is. 93 00:06:54,717 --> 00:06:58,312 It's Tuttle's responsibility to present himself. The man is obviously ignoring me. 94 00:06:58,387 --> 00:07:01,288 Oh, Frank, why would he ignore you? 95 00:07:01,357 --> 00:07:04,485 Guilt. He can't face the man he's going to replace. 96 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,494 Who says he's going to replace you? 97 00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:11,056 - Everyone here's against me, Margaret. - Oh, only Pierce and Mclntyre. 98 00:07:11,133 --> 00:07:13,294 Did I tell you they glued my Bible together? 99 00:07:13,369 --> 00:07:15,234 Oh, Frank. 100 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:18,330 And they drew fangs on my picture of Senator McCarthy. 101 00:07:21,443 --> 00:07:23,775 My poor darling. 102 00:07:30,019 --> 00:07:33,079 Why don't we just check out this Captain Tuttle ourselves? 103 00:07:33,155 --> 00:07:38,092 Margaret, you're my snug harbor. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to sail in to. 104 00:07:46,301 --> 00:07:48,235 - Corporal. - Sir? 105 00:07:48,303 --> 00:07:51,238 - Where's the colonel? - Colonel? - Colonel Blake? 106 00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:54,707 Uh, I'm afraid he's doing some very important sleeping for the army right now. 107 00:07:54,777 --> 00:07:58,907 - Typical. - I wanna see the personnel file on this new man, Captain Tuttle. 108 00:07:58,981 --> 00:08:03,941 Sir, these files are locked. You're gonna need authorization from Colonel Blake. 109 00:08:04,019 --> 00:08:06,385 - Well, get it. - Wake him. 110 00:08:06,455 --> 00:08:10,050 Wake him? He could be dreaming up some new medicine... 111 00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:12,457 that could help all mankind. 112 00:08:12,528 --> 00:08:16,487 Henry Blake? That launderette? 113 00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:19,500 Well, I'll get an authorization to see that Tuttle file. 114 00:08:24,613 --> 00:08:26,740 Okay now, let's see, when was Tuttle born? 115 00:08:26,816 --> 00:08:30,684 Um, how about 1924? That was a good year for doctors. 116 00:08:30,753 --> 00:08:33,517 Okay. Mother? 117 00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:35,682 Yes. 118 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:38,784 - Father? - One. 119 00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:43,059 Harry and Frieda Tuttle. Birthplace? 120 00:08:43,132 --> 00:08:45,327 Uh, hey, how about my hometown? 121 00:08:45,401 --> 00:08:49,030 No, they've already got enough to be proud of. How about... 122 00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,197 - Battle Creek, Michigan. - Yeah, that's good. That's perfect. 123 00:08:51,273 --> 00:08:53,935 Yeah, good. Okay. 124 00:08:54,009 --> 00:08:56,705 Uh, religion? 125 00:08:56,779 --> 00:08:58,940 Uh, atheist. 126 00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,907 I don't believe in atheism. 127 00:09:02,985 --> 00:09:05,453 - Let's make him a Druid. - What's that? 128 00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:09,116 - They worship trees. - Ah, tree surgeon. 129 00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:14,057 Druid, reformed. 130 00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:17,428 They're allowed to pray at bushes. 131 00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,627 Now what about medical school? 132 00:09:19,702 --> 00:09:21,761 - Harvard. - No, no, he can't be at anyplace they'll check. 133 00:09:21,837 --> 00:09:27,207 Well, how about, um, Berlin Polytechnic? 134 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,006 Perfect. 135 00:09:30,079 --> 00:09:33,446 - Berlinisches Polytechnikum. - [Whistles] 136 00:09:33,516 --> 00:09:37,976 - Oh? - Right after he graduated from Adolf Hitler High. 137 00:09:38,053 --> 00:09:41,318 - No, that's a bit much. - You should write fiction. 138 00:09:41,390 --> 00:09:43,722 You should read my file. 139 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,454 All right, now a little something for Hot Lips. 140 00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:49,259 Height: Six feet, four. 141 00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:53,131 Weight: 195 pounds. 142 00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:56,638 Hair: Auburn. 143 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:00,606 Eyes: Hazel. 144 00:10:00,676 --> 00:10:03,144 - Hawkeye? - Hmm? 145 00:10:03,212 --> 00:10:06,204 I think I'm in love. 146 00:10:06,282 --> 00:10:09,513 I'd certainly like to know why it's so all-fired important... 147 00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:11,746 for you two to see the file on Captain Tuttle. 148 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:16,257 Because neither the major nor I remember having seen him, and that strikes us as very strange. 149 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:20,625 Well, I've seen him. I had breakfast with the man only yesterday. 150 00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:22,630 Here it is. 151 00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:27,635 Tuttle, Jonathan, Captain. Serial number 397-299-66. 152 00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:31,498 "Berlinisches Polytechnikum." 153 00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:35,101 - Probably a Nazi. - [Whistles] Very impressive. 154 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:37,668 Well, if you two will excuse me, 155 00:10:37,746 --> 00:10:40,681 I told Tuttle I'd have lunch with him. 156 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,784 - So long, Radar. - I'll hold down the fort. 157 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,514 Hold down the fort. 158 00:10:48,424 --> 00:10:51,018 Auburn hair, hazel eyes. 159 00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:54,062 Oh, for Pete's sake, Margaret, you're practically drooling. 160 00:10:54,129 --> 00:10:56,324 Ah! Frank, you're not jealous. 161 00:10:56,398 --> 00:10:58,423 Not jealous. 162 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,934 If I lost you to anyone, I'd put a scalpel through my neck. 163 00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:03,494 Frank, no, no, not here. 164 00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:05,540 No one could see us or hear us. 165 00:11:05,608 --> 00:11:08,076 Frank, no. 166 00:11:09,612 --> 00:11:14,709 Do you know, there's still something spooky about this Tuttle? 167 00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:18,810 Now I'll just call General Clayton and have him check it out. 168 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,821 [Buzzing] 169 00:11:26,195 --> 00:11:28,527 - Sir? - Corporal O'Reilly? 170 00:11:28,597 --> 00:11:30,792 Get me General Clayton, headquarters in Seoul. 171 00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:33,300 Yes, ma'am. Just a minute, ma'am. 172 00:11:37,506 --> 00:11:40,942 Psst. Get me Captain Pierce over here right away. 173 00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:56,090 H.Q. Seoul, this is Sergeant Pryor. 174 00:11:56,158 --> 00:11:58,649 - Hi, Sparky, this is Radar. - Hey, how you doin', boy? 175 00:11:58,727 --> 00:12:00,490 Fine. Hey, listen, Sparky. 176 00:12:00,562 --> 00:12:05,625 I wanted to thank you for sending the Captain Marvel annual. It just come today. 177 00:12:05,701 --> 00:12:07,635 Okay, okay. Look, listen. 178 00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:11,639 I'm gonna be making a call on this line any second. Patch it back to me. 179 00:12:11,707 --> 00:12:14,175 [Chuckles] Shazam. 180 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:20,809 - What's up, Radar? - Major Houlihan is making a call to General Clayton. 181 00:12:25,554 --> 00:12:28,148 [Ringing] 182 00:12:28,223 --> 00:12:31,192 - H.Q. Seoul on the phone, ma'am. - Thank you. Hello? 183 00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:33,524 H.Q. Seoul, Sergeant Pryor. 184 00:12:33,595 --> 00:12:38,191 General Clayton, please. Major Margaret Houlihan. 185 00:12:43,706 --> 00:12:48,040 - Hello? - Hello, General? Major Houlihan. 186 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:52,513 Margaret, I do hope this is going to be an obscene phone call. 187 00:12:52,581 --> 00:12:54,515 [Laughing] 188 00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,915 I wish it could be, sir. 189 00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:01,354 That is, I wonder if you might do me a favor. 190 00:13:01,423 --> 00:13:06,087 You just say the word, Margaret, and I'll get a hormone shot. [Laughing] 191 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:10,154 Yes, sir. What I want to know... 192 00:13:10,232 --> 00:13:13,326 Say, what did you think of that new man I sent down there... Tuttle? 193 00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:16,731 You sent Captain Tuttle? 194 00:13:16,805 --> 00:13:20,969 Yes, he's going to marry my niece. Now try to keep him pure, Margaret, 195 00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:24,911 if you can keep your hot little hands off him. [Laughing] 196 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,914 [Continues Laughing] 197 00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,451 Good-bye, Margaret. 198 00:13:33,288 --> 00:13:35,381 - Hi, Frank. - Hm. 199 00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:42,290 - You want what, Frank? - I want you to change my tent. Make Captain Tuttle my roomie. 200 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:45,993 - Your roomie? - Well, General Clayton asked that I personally look after him. 201 00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:48,002 - Tuttle? - Johnny. 202 00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:50,504 - Isn't it Jonathan? - Well, not to his close friends. 203 00:13:50,572 --> 00:13:53,973 Yeah, well, just leave it with me, Frank, and I'll see what I can do. 204 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:57,739 I can only tell you, Tuttle and I are both anxious for the change. 205 00:13:57,813 --> 00:14:00,748 - We both speak the same language. - Right. 206 00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:07,513 Radar, there's something going on with Major Burns. 207 00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:10,057 Yes, sir, with Major Houlihan. 208 00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:12,059 I know one guy who got pictures. 209 00:14:12,127 --> 00:14:14,561 No, I mean, with Captain Tuttle. 210 00:14:16,865 --> 00:14:19,959 Major Burns and Captain Tuttle, sir? 211 00:14:20,035 --> 00:14:23,368 If there's one thing I'm not gonna have in this outfit, Radar, it's politics. 212 00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:25,872 I'm getting into this Tuttle business right now. 213 00:14:27,376 --> 00:14:29,640 [Man Over P.A.] Attention, attention. 214 00:14:29,711 --> 00:14:34,705 Captain Jonathan Tuttle will report to Colonel Henry Blake on the double. 215 00:14:34,783 --> 00:14:38,048 Captain Jonathan Tuttle, report at once. 216 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,214 Should we go back inside and build one? 217 00:14:48,732 --> 00:14:50,666 - Where is he? - I don't know, sir. 218 00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:53,328 Well, I mean, it's not like Tuttle to keep me waiting. 219 00:14:53,403 --> 00:14:56,634 - Is it? - Last I saw him, he was in the compound, sir. 220 00:14:56,706 --> 00:14:59,504 - Want me to go check? - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll do it. 221 00:14:59,576 --> 00:15:03,171 - Volunteering again, Frank? - I don't want Tuttle to get in trouble with you, sir. 222 00:15:03,246 --> 00:15:05,680 That's the least I can do for my buddy. 223 00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:11,053 Buddies? 224 00:15:14,457 --> 00:15:16,721 - Phillips? - Here. 225 00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:20,229 - Turner? Tuttle? - Yo! 226 00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:25,266 - Captain Tuttle? - No. 227 00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:28,168 - Captain Pierce, M.D., manic depressive. - Is that yours? 228 00:15:28,238 --> 00:15:31,730 No, the only mail I'll accept is a full apology from President Truman. 229 00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:33,901 That is addressed to Captain Tuttle. 230 00:15:33,977 --> 00:15:37,174 Very good, Frank. You read well enough to be a druggist. 231 00:15:37,247 --> 00:15:40,478 - Where is he? - Who, Tuttle? In post-op. I'm gonna drop this off. 232 00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:43,178 - Oh, well, I can do that. - Oh, that's very kind of you, Frank. 233 00:15:43,253 --> 00:15:45,915 It certainly belies all the vicious gossip somebody is spreading... 234 00:15:45,989 --> 00:15:50,517 about what a twisted, selfish, mean-spirited, overbearing fusspot you are. 235 00:15:50,594 --> 00:15:53,791 - It certainly does. - Then I'll stop spreading it. 236 00:15:53,864 --> 00:15:57,800 You're not fit to be in the same camp with a man like Captain Tuttle! 237 00:16:00,637 --> 00:16:02,969 - Mclntyre? - Frank, if you're here to help, 238 00:16:03,039 --> 00:16:06,702 all the bedpans have already been emptied. 239 00:16:06,776 --> 00:16:09,438 - Have you seen Tuttle? - You just missed him. 240 00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:11,446 He's over at X ray with Hot Lips. 241 00:16:11,514 --> 00:16:14,677 He said something about doing some chest pictures. 242 00:16:14,751 --> 00:16:16,685 You're a liar. 243 00:16:23,994 --> 00:16:28,488 [Stammering] Excuse me, sir. Well, don't let me interfere with your work. 244 00:16:28,565 --> 00:16:31,466 I'll-I'll-I'll just put this package for you down and wait outside. 245 00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:33,695 L-I know what you're doing must be very important, sir. 246 00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:36,705 That is, if you are doing it. 247 00:16:36,773 --> 00:16:38,866 Well, thank you very much. 248 00:16:42,145 --> 00:16:44,079 Oh, Major! 249 00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,984 - Margaret, have you seen him? - Who? 250 00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:50,986 - Tuttle. - Pierce said he was with you. 251 00:16:51,054 --> 00:16:53,921 Mclntyre said he was with you. 252 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:57,926 - Margaret, you haven't been seeing him secretly, have you? - Shh, Frank, there are people. 253 00:16:57,994 --> 00:17:00,690 If I find out you're seeing Tuttle, I'll put my head under a jeep. 254 00:17:00,764 --> 00:17:04,666 Aj... Frank! 255 00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:07,601 Frank, no one can take your place, 256 00:17:07,671 --> 00:17:10,606 no matter how attractive I find Captain Tuttle. 257 00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:30,324 Just as I thought. Tuttle hasn't been paid in 14 months. 258 00:17:30,393 --> 00:17:33,362 - And he never said a word. - What a guy. 259 00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:42,301 Soldier, where do I find Captain Jonathan Tuttle? 260 00:17:42,372 --> 00:17:44,431 Uh, he's in surgery right now, sir. 261 00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:47,067 Now where is that? I have a mess of back pay for him. 262 00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:49,338 Uh, yes, he said I could take it and sign for it. 263 00:17:49,412 --> 00:17:52,779 Corporal, when it involves this much money, I have to get his signature. 264 00:17:52,849 --> 00:17:57,183 I'm sorry, Captain Tuttle, I had to have you sign... 265 00:17:57,253 --> 00:17:59,551 to make sure that the signatures match. 266 00:17:59,622 --> 00:18:04,457 You'd be surprised, the number of people that wanna stick it to Uncle Sam. 267 00:18:04,527 --> 00:18:08,293 I hope the lack of pay was not an inconvenience to you. 268 00:18:08,365 --> 00:18:11,027 No, no, fortunately, I'm independently wealthy. 269 00:18:11,101 --> 00:18:14,070 My father invented bill padding. 270 00:18:14,137 --> 00:18:18,164 Now you understand that all my future pay is to go directly to Sister Theresa's orphanage. 271 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:22,007 You are an inspiration to us all. 272 00:18:22,078 --> 00:18:24,638 I know. 273 00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:31,153 - Colonel? - Hmm? 274 00:18:31,221 --> 00:18:34,850 - It's for you. General Clayton. - General... 275 00:18:38,628 --> 00:18:40,596 Colonel Clayton, General Blake here, sir. 276 00:18:40,663 --> 00:18:43,723 - Steady, Henry. - Yes, sir. 277 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,997 I just called to offer my congratulations. 278 00:18:47,070 --> 00:18:50,267 Well, that certainly means a lot coming from you, sir. 279 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,274 May I ask for what? 280 00:18:52,342 --> 00:18:54,833 Well, I just got a letter from Sister Theresa. 281 00:18:54,911 --> 00:18:59,245 - Oh, I didn't know you had a sister. - She's a nun. 282 00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:01,579 Oh, you must be very proud, sir. 283 00:19:03,219 --> 00:19:06,552 Sister Theresa is a nun who runs an orphanage... 284 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,557 near your outfit. 285 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,719 Oh, well, I mean, I don't know every nun in the... 286 00:19:11,795 --> 00:19:15,026 It's not my habit, sir, to... That's not what I mean. 287 00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:19,000 She told me that Captain Tuttle... 288 00:19:19,069 --> 00:19:22,232 donated 14 months' pay to her orphanage. 289 00:19:22,305 --> 00:19:26,401 Well, we're all mighty proud of Captain Tuttle. 290 00:19:26,476 --> 00:19:29,309 I was just telling him that last night at dinner. 291 00:19:29,379 --> 00:19:34,043 We've got to make our appreciation more tangible, Henry. 292 00:19:34,117 --> 00:19:36,244 I mean, it's one thing to admire a man's work, 293 00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:39,777 but it's another to get your picture in the paper doing it. 294 00:19:39,856 --> 00:19:44,316 Therefore, I've decided to come out on the field tomorrow... 295 00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,885 and personally give Captain Tuttle a decoration. 296 00:19:46,963 --> 00:19:49,227 - Wow! - What's that? 297 00:19:49,299 --> 00:19:52,666 I mean, wow, sir. 298 00:20:04,814 --> 00:20:07,681 - Yes, sir. - Ra... Where is he? Where is Tuttle? 299 00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:10,241 Captain Pierce went to get him, sir. 300 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,584 - Radar, do I seem... - Scared to death. Yes, sir. 301 00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:14,589 Go hurry them up. 302 00:20:21,197 --> 00:20:24,564 One day, he'll be coming to decorate you, Frank. 303 00:20:24,634 --> 00:20:26,727 Well, it was easy for Tuttle. He had all the breaks. 304 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:31,172 Oh, Frank, don't be bitter. He's a fine American. 305 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:34,802 The finest. Our country can use all the Tuttles we can get. 306 00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:50,225 General Clayton. 307 00:21:00,036 --> 00:21:03,472 How do you do, Sister? We're proud of you. 308 00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:08,402 Well... 309 00:21:08,478 --> 00:21:12,209 - Shall we get on with it, Henry? - On with it. Yes, General. 310 00:21:14,117 --> 00:21:18,952 - Where's Tuttle? - Oh, he's coming, sir. He's quite busy. 311 00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:23,356 - Busier than a brigadier general? - Excuse me. 312 00:21:23,459 --> 00:21:27,088 - Will you tell Radar to tell Pierce to tell Tuttle... - He's here, sir. 313 00:21:27,163 --> 00:21:30,997 He's here, sir. Uh, I mean... 314 00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:33,035 He's here, sir. 315 00:21:35,605 --> 00:21:38,692 - General. - Pierce, isn't it? 316 00:21:38,825 --> 00:21:41,453 Yes, sir. I'm afraid you're not gonna like this, sir. 317 00:21:41,528 --> 00:21:44,691 Well, then, keep it to yourself, Pierce. 318 00:21:44,765 --> 00:21:46,699 Tell us after we decorate Tuttle. 319 00:21:46,767 --> 00:21:50,134 - There is no Tuttle. - No Tuttle? 320 00:21:51,505 --> 00:21:53,700 - No Tuttle? - [All Murmuring] 321 00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:59,141 Not anymore, sir. That's all that's left. 322 00:22:02,149 --> 00:22:04,083 Well, how'd it happen? 323 00:22:04,151 --> 00:22:09,179 Well, you know Tuttle. No sacrifice too great. 324 00:22:09,256 --> 00:22:13,090 This morning, while the rest of us were selfishly having a cup of coffee, 325 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,492 he went off in a helicopter to do some field surgery. 326 00:22:17,397 --> 00:22:21,595 He jumped with his plasma, his bag, 327 00:22:21,668 --> 00:22:24,034 everything an army doctor needs. 328 00:22:25,105 --> 00:22:27,232 Except his parachute. 329 00:22:30,978 --> 00:22:35,915 - Oh, how awful. - I'll see that he gets a personal citation for this. 330 00:22:39,019 --> 00:22:44,787 [Clears Throat] I think that all of us who knew and loved Tuttle... 331 00:22:44,858 --> 00:22:48,692 would like to pay tribute to this heroic man. 332 00:22:48,762 --> 00:22:53,028 And I think it's only fitting that the man who knew him best, 333 00:22:53,100 --> 00:22:56,536 Captain Pierce, deliver the eulogy. 334 00:22:58,505 --> 00:23:02,271 - That's not true. I knew him best. - Shh. 335 00:23:11,385 --> 00:23:17,017 We can all be comforted by the thought that he's not really gone, 336 00:23:17,090 --> 00:23:19,456 that there's a little Tuttle left in all of us. 337 00:23:21,395 --> 00:23:25,354 In fact, you might say that all of us together made up Tuttle. 338 00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:29,527 I'll never forget him. 339 00:23:33,306 --> 00:23:36,400 Our grief will pass. 340 00:23:36,476 --> 00:23:40,242 It's already hard to remember exactly how Johnny looked, 341 00:23:40,313 --> 00:23:44,716 how he talked, his little laugh. 342 00:23:46,553 --> 00:23:49,249 Thankfully he's left behind a memorial. 343 00:23:49,322 --> 00:23:53,190 I've been informed by Radar that Captain Tuttle's G.I. Insurance... 344 00:23:53,260 --> 00:23:58,095 named Sister Theresa's orphanage as his sole beneficiary. 345 00:23:58,165 --> 00:23:59,894 How typical. 346 00:24:01,735 --> 00:24:04,169 We salute you, Captain Tuttle, 347 00:24:06,606 --> 00:24:08,540 humanitarian and healer. 348 00:24:11,011 --> 00:24:12,945 Good luck, Doctor, 349 00:24:14,314 --> 00:24:18,614 in that great big waiting room in the sky. 350 00:24:27,427 --> 00:24:30,089 He was the best damn O.D. We ever had. 351 00:24:36,269 --> 00:24:38,760 Nice work. There wasn't a dry eye in the camp. 352 00:24:38,839 --> 00:24:40,932 Tuttle always brought out the best in me. 353 00:24:41,007 --> 00:24:45,000 Hey, I have a question. Where'd you guys get the parachute and dog tags? 354 00:24:45,078 --> 00:24:47,012 Uh, that was Major Murdock. 355 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,048 - Who? - Who's Major Murdock? 356 00:24:49,116 --> 00:24:52,608 You know, Murdock... tall, skinny guy. Tuttle's replacement. 357 00:24:52,686 --> 00:24:55,120 Oh, yeah, I had breakfast with him this morning.