I'm still waiting, Shawn.
我还在等哦 尚恩
Okay, I'm gonna take your pointy, sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.
好 那我要用这个马脸 吃掉那个尖尖的棋子
停 这颗棋叫什么？
Stop, stop. What is this piece called?
我叫它德怀特
I call him Dwight.
-那这颗棋叫什么？ -波斯柯巴瑞克斯
What is this one called?
B.A. Baracus.
听着 如果你想下棋 那就要
Look, Shawn, if you're gonna play this game,
you're gonna have to learn what the pieces are called.
-你就该学会这些棋子的叫法 -那如果我不想下棋呢？
What if I don't wanna play this game?
下棋很重要 可以训练你的谋略
Chess is important. It's about strategy.
训练你如何预测对手的下一步行动
It's about anticipating your opponent's next moves.
-这游戏就是生活的缩影 -缩什么？
This game is an allegory for life.
An alle-what?
Look, when you're on the force,
当你要解决案件时 将面对
you're gonna have to take in huge amounts of information.
大量讯息
不在场证明、动机、证词 相信我
Alibis, motives, witness statements.
And trust me. If you wanna win,
若你想赢的话 这可不是能让你 这样随便应付的游戏
this is not stuff that you're gonna make up as you go.
懂吗？ 我希望你能够集中精力 认真对待
Do you understand?
And I want you to focus and get serious.
Uh...
什么？你想说什么？
What? What are you trying to say?
-我不记得它叫什么 -我不是才刚…
I can't remember what it's called.
- What did I just-- - Never mind. I remember.
没事啦 我记得
Checkmate.
将军
再见啦 老爸
Bye, Dad.
现在
Tell me.
-告诉我 他是不是劈腿了 -我还不知道
Is he cheating on me?
Jury's still out.
你有他最近碰过的物件吗？
Do you have something that he's touched recently?
Oh.
I have the receipt from lunch.
我有午餐的收据
时间：下午一点三十分
I'm sensing that he always takes you out for lunch.
我感觉到他经常带你出去吃午餐
That he never pays with a credit card.
从不用信用卡 总是用现金结帐
Always cash.
没错
That's right.
我还感觉到你只能打电话 到他的办公室或是手机
I'm also sensing that you can only call him at the office or on his cell phone.
-从来不能打到家里？ -完全正确
Never, ever at home?
That's dead on.
你在他身边一定总起鸡皮疙瘩
You must get goosebumps being around him.
Oh, I get something.
-噢 是起了些 -达芙妮 我有一个好消息和一个坏消息
Daphne, I have good news and bad news.
好消息是他没背着你与别人约会
The good news is he's not seeing someone else.
The bad news...
坏消息是…
He's married.
-他结婚了 -什么？
What?
Are you sure?
-你确定？ -只要…
Just tell him a friend told you he was married
跟他说 有个朋友告诉你他结婚了 他的表情就会告诉你一切
and his face will tell you the rest.
But...
但是…等失恋的悲伤过去 这是我朋友葛斯的名片
When the mourning period is over,
this is my friend Gus's card.
他是个很好的倾听者 而且他总愿意为了讨好女孩子改变自己
He's a good listener, and he's willing to change everything about himself for a girl.
尚恩 我没有 不 不 请收下吧
Shawn, I do not-- No, no. You keep that.
Please.
Shawn, we've reached a certain level of success.
尚恩 我们已经小有名气
如果你还是不断地接这种 “我男朋友有没有背叛我”的案子
If you wanna keep doing these is "my boyfriend cheating on me" cases,
you're gonna have to do them without me.
-你就自己一个人去应付吧 -葛斯 你还是低估我了
Gus, you continue to underestimate me.
我现在就告诉你 在我们说话的当下 我们其实是要赶往办公室
I'll have you know that right now, as we speak,
we're on our way to the office to meet with two gentlemen
见两位叫肖克利和戈达德的绅士
named Shockley and Goddard who have a very big case for us.
-他们有个大案子要委托我们 -所以内容是什么？抢案？
So what are we talkin'? Robbery? Missing persons?
失踪人口？
他们想让我们调查一起严重的案件…
They want us to look into the serious matter of...
Well, that actually wasn't in the e-mail.
但他们没有在电子邮件里说明
-你怎么知道是真的？ -整封信都用大写耶 葛斯
- So how do you know it was real? - They used all caps, Gus.
-会面定在两点 我们最好快点 -已经两点十八分了
The meeting's at 2:00. We better hurry.
It's 2:18.
还不是因为刚才某人非要点 比利时巧克力乳酪酥
Well, somebody had to have the Belgian chocolate fondue, didn't they?
-不是吗？ -是你点的 尚恩
That was you, Shawn.
Well played, sir.
真会辩
Just let me do the talking.
让我来谈 我可不想他们被你
I don't want you to scare them off with your non sequitur ridiculousness.
荒诞无稽的推理给吓跑
请告诉我你们不是肖克利和戈达德先生
Please tell me you're not Mr. Shockley and Mr. Goddard.
（片名：灵异妙探）
Okay, before one of us goes all crazy and demands the other one apologize
好吧 在我们其中一抓狂并且 要求另外一人为接下两个中学生委托
而道歉之前 先听他们说完吧
for taking a case from a couple grade schoolers,
let's just hear them out.
What can we do for you, gentlemen?
-有什么可以为你们效劳的 绅士们？ -我们的一位老师是个杀人犯
One of our teachers is a murderer.
Okay, I'm sorry.
好吧 我道歉 请继续
Please, continue.
He's killed before. And in two days, he's gonna kill again.
他以前杀过人 而且两天之内 他又会杀人
警察根本不理我们 因为我们还是孩子
And the cops don't listen to us 'cause we're kids.
好吧 既然我们在这儿 而且我们在…
Okay, well, since we're here,
and we don't have another meeting for...
a week,
一周内也没别的案子 是哪个老师要做这么可怕的事情
which one of your teachers is going to do this terrible thing?
-我们不知道 -被杀的是谁？
We don't know.
- Who's been murdered? - We don't know.
-不知道 -谁是下一个受害者？
- Who's the next victim? - We don't know.
-我们也不知道 -太好了 我没别的问题了
Perfect. I have no more questions.
-尚恩 -我什么想法也没有
Shawn.
I got nothing.
Can we just start from the top?
-我们从头开始好吗？ -好啊 真是个好主意
Yes. That's a great idea.
嗯 肖克和我在迈特纳中学上学
Well, Shock and I go to Meitner, and...
-然后… -专收天才学生的迈特纳中学？
The Meitner School for Gifted Students?
These kids are geniuses.
-这两个孩子是天才 -严格来讲 是接近天才
Technically, near genius.
The school has some pretty cool stuff.
学校里有些很酷的东西 所以我们在深夜试图闯入
So we broke in late at night.
不用说了
Say no more. Fight Club.
-《斗阵俱乐部》 -不 我们入侵了一个太空探测器系统
No, to hack into a space probe
看看能不能用摩斯密码新增一个词
and see if we could get it to blink a word in old morse code.
什么词？
Which word?
- Boobs. - Boobs.
-咪咪 -咪咪
You went from all that trouble just to get some NASA techs
你们费那么大劲儿就为了让 太空总署里头的工程师
to scratch their heads?
-摸不着头绪吗？ -是啊
Yeah.
-拜托 葛斯 很好笑的啊
Come on, Gus. That's kinda funny.
While reconfiguring the receiver,
我们改装接收器时
we accidentally tapped into a cell phone call
偶然接收到一通从学校里 播出的电话
being made from the Meitner campus.
不太清楚 但我们听到一个 低沉、沙哑的声音在
It was staticky.
But we heard a deep, gravelly voice talking to their cousin.
Someone named Muriel.
-跟他的表亲说话 好像叫穆瑞尔 -难道你们想让我们查为什么
And you want us to figure out why someone would name their kid Muriel?
有人会给孩子取名叫穆瑞尔
The voice said something like,
那个声音提到
“我不会再被逼到角落里”
"I'm not gonna be pushed into a corner again."
Are you sure it wasn't Dirty Dancing?
你确定那不是《热舞17》的台词？
And then we also heard verbatim
我们还听到他一个字一个字地说 “如果有必要 我会杀了他
"If I have to, I'll kill him.
It won't be my first time.
“反正不是第一次了 周三前他一定是个死人”
By Wednesday, he's a goner."
A goner?
死人？ 应该是詹姆斯卡格尼演的电影
It may have been James Cagney.
尚恩 可以借一步说话吗？
Shawn, can I have a minute?
We're taking this case.
-这案子我们接了 -你想接这案子？
You want to take this case?
这是可以像《龙虎少年队》一样 潜入校园卧底的好机会
It's a chance to go undercover in high school a la 21 Jump Street.
Obviously, I'm Johnny Depp.
当然 我是强尼戴普
Sadly, you can only pass for Holly Robinson.
你只能可怜地当霍莉罗宾森
Why can't I be Richard Grieco?
-为什么我不能是理查格里克？ -你怎么会想当理查格里克？
Why would you want to be Richard Grieco?
Isn't this the part where you say,
你不是应该说 “根本没有案子 尚恩
"There ain't no case here, Shawn."
只有两个孩子在唬烂”
Just a couple kids crying wolf.
我讲话不像理察朗崔好吗 尚恩
I don't sound like Richard Roundtree, Shawn.
Why are you so eager?
-你为什么这么热衷？ -跟你一样
Same as you.
我高中时可是风云人物
I was a king in high school.
拿着权杖不代表你就是国王好吗？
Just because you carried a scepter doesn't make you a king.
-那是因为我在演《马克白》 -老兄 你演的是班科的儿子
That's because I was in Macbeth.
Dude, you played Banquo's kid.
两位 你们要帮我们吗？
You guys, can you help us?
Is a lizard's skin dry and cracked?
蜥蜴的外皮是干燥有裂纹的吗？
We believe that it is.
我们相信是的
Guess what today is.
猜猜今天是什么日子
It's not one of those touchy-feely holidays
不是某个由贺卡公司发明的
强迫我去给谁买礼物的煽情的节日吧
invented by card companies to goad me into buying a present
for somebody I couldn't care less about, is it?
-我对这个一向不怎么在意 不是吗？ -不 今天是我们的一周年纪念日
No, today's our anniversary.
Come again?
再说一遍？
It's been one year to the day
我来到圣塔芭芭拉警局 跟你搭档正好一年了
that I came to Santa Barbara and we got partnered up.
Hmm. I didn't get you a present.
-我没准备礼物 -我没想要礼物
- I don't want a present. - That's what all women say.
所有女人都会这么说 但是相信我 你内心深处
But believe me, deep down, you want a present.
还是想要礼物的
My soon-to-be ex-wife always hated what I gave her.
我快离婚的妻子总想要我送她礼物
-你送她什么了？ -通常是现金
- What did you give her? - Cash, mostly.
不管怎样 这说明我一年的实习期结束了
Anyway,
this anniversary means that my one-year probation period is over.
所以 我想要的是
So what I want,
that is, what would be good,
就是 一件好事 我想说的是…
what I'm trying to say is--
I think I'm entitled to be primary on a case.
我想我有资格独立负责一件案子了
How late are the shops open tonight?
商店今晚几点关门？
Chief Vick says molding young officers is your duty.
维克局长说 培养年轻探员是你的责任
And she's already approved this.
而且此事她也已经批准了
Now give me a case.
给我个案子吧
Fine.
好吧
Let's see. Homicide.
来看看 杀人案
That's a bit messy for your first time.
对第一次独立办案的你来说复杂了点 高科技窃案
Hi-tech burglary.
You need a lot of forensics for that one.
需要许多鉴定技巧 烘培特卖会打群架
Bake sale slap fight.
Seems easy, but believe me, I worked one once.
看起来简单 但相信我 我曾负责过相关案件
Had to call in S.W.A.T.
-最后不得不请特警队来支援 -噢 拜托
Oh, come on.
All right.
好吧
Couple kids came in complaining about one of the teachers.
几个孩子来抱怨他们的一位老师
Are you sure there's nothing of lower priority for me to handle?
你确定没有更小的案子给我处理了吗？
第一课 奥哈拉
Lesson number one, O'Hara.
There are no small cases;
没有小案子 只有小警探
only small detectives.
Let's roll.
开始吧
迈特纳中学
Ah, high school.
高中
我以前总想证明 我们的一位老师是个怪物
You know, I've always wanted to prove that one of our teachers was a monster.
你还记得我们高一的音乐老师 乔根史东太太吗
You remember our freshman music teacher, Mrs. Jorgenstorm?
-她是夜行族的一员 -她不是
- She was a nightbreed. - She was not.
-她跟克瑞格薛佛约会过 -不是吧
- She used to date Craig sheffer. - She did not.
她不仅天天画大浓妆 还住在墓地里
She wore a ton of make-up and lived in a cemetery.
-墓地附近 -那是她自己说的
- Next to a cemetery. - So she claimed.
你一直都不敢跟踪她回家
If I remember correctly, you were always too afraid to follow her home.
-有什么发现了？ -沉住气 小伙子们
So any leads yet?
Hold it there, doogie. First things first.
得一步步来 在哪儿能买到果汁？
Where do I get a juice box?
-还有葡萄口味的吗？ -你们不是该做些通灵的事吗？
And does it come in grape-a-licious?
Shouldn't you be doing psychic stuff?
在未来的几个小时里某人会被杀 搞不好就是我们其中之一
Someone could be killed in the next 48 hours.
Possibly one of us.
你这么聪明为什么不自己来解决呢
If you're so smart, why don't you solve the thing?
期中考啊 不然呢？
Midterms? Duh.
I need to maintain my G.P.A. to keep my scholarship stipend.
我的学期成绩要保持才有奖学金啊
好吧 好吧 显然我们得进到学校里去
All right, all right, all right.
Clearly, we have to get inside. What's our cover gonna be?
我们要以怎样的身份进去？ 等等 我想到了
Wait, I've got it.
You're the preppy jerk who's dating the girl I'm in love with.
你是和我喜欢的女孩约会的 私立学校的混蛋
我是个好心的鲁蛇 负责修剪草坪
I'm the lonely cafeteria guy
who mows lawns and has a heart of gold.
算了吧 尚恩 你扮不了十几岁的青少年
Let it go, Shawn. You can't pass for a teenager.
没错 他说得对 你眼角都有细纹了
Yeah, he's right.
You got rhytids around the eyes.
-他刚才跟我说什么？ -鱼尾纹
- What did he just say to me? - Crow's feet.
你是不是经常做鬼脸？
Do you squint or make funny faces a lot?
You know what? You guys are all nuts.
你们都是疯子
If I grew my hair out, raised my voice an octave,
如果我把头发留长 再把声音提高八度
I could-- stop, Shawn.
行了 尚恩 我已经想好了
I've already worked it out.
我们是记录片导演 正在筹拍一部新片叫《青少年为爱痴狂》
We're documentarians working on a new film called Teeniuses: In The Mix.
-青少年 -是啊
- Teeniuses? - Yes.
Really, dude?
认真的的吗？老兄？
你直觉就说出这三个字？
You've got teeniuses right on the tip of your tongue?
In the mix.
-为爱痴狂 -我们已经帮你们想好卧底身分了
We already got your cover story.
我个人实在不觉得灵异现象
Personally, I'm not sure that I see the merits of a class
对学习的好处
in paranormal studies,
but we do let the students choose one guest instructor a semester.
但我们允许学生每学期请一位客座教师
C. Everett Koop was crushed that he didn't get it.
库柏博士甚至因为没得到这份机会 而郁郁寡欢
What is this? Like a study hall?
这里是什么地方？读书室？
噢 不 是休息室
Oh, no. Recess.
Does it smell like teen spirit in here?
这里是不是感觉有点像 《青春校园》里的场景？
Shh!
Shh.
So tell me, headmaster,
告诉我 校长 曾经申请过贵校的学生 能把申请档案要回吗？
can a former applicant request his or her file?
Oh, no. Why?
噢 不能 怎么了吗？
噢 是为了大众的福利考量 你知道 大众
Oh, for the general public's general welfare.
You know, generally.
黛比会把需要填的表格给你们
Debbie will give you the forms you'll need to sign.
An application, Gus?
-申请 葛斯？ -只是好奇而已
Just curious.
你过去曾经申请过这所学校 对吧？
You applied to this school back in the day. Didn't you?
-而你从没告诉过我 -谁能记得那么久以前的事？
And you didn't tell me about it.
Who can remember that far back?
W-Whoa, is that why you cried for a month when we were ten?
这就是我们十岁时 你哭了一个月的原因？
因为他们拒绝了你？ 蹲下
Because they rejected you?
Get down.
Excuse me.
抱歉 奥哈拉
O'Hara.
Lesson number two. Cops don't wait in line.
第二课 警察不排队的
They go straight to the front.
直接插到队伍最前面 在星巴克也一样
Even at Starbucks.
嗨 圣巴巴拉警察局 我们需要这几位学生的课表 谢谢
Hi, S.B.P.D.
Can I please get the class schedules for these students? Thank you.
第三课 不要说“请” 也不要说“谢谢”
Lesson number three. Don't say "please,"
don't say "thank you," and definitely don't say "hi."
更不要说“嗨”
啦啦队征选都十年前的事了
Spirit squad auditions were over ten years ago.
你现在代表警方 像样点
You're an authority figure. Act like it.
没听过 “蜂蜜能比醋引来更多苍蝇”？
Ever heard "you catch more flies with honey"?
第四课 不要引用俚语
Lesson number four.
Don't quote cornpone country bumpkin sayings to your commanding officer.
来教训你的长官
-到底有多少课？ -六百三十八课
How many lessons are there?
638.
欢迎来到专收天才的迈特纳中学
Welcome to the Meitner School for Gifted Children.
我们能…这真是奇迹 谢天谢地 你们都没事
How may we--
It's a miracle.
Thank god, you're all right.
我们听说一个叫拉斯特的警察死了 茱儿 你收到花了吧
We heard a cop named Lassie died.
Jules, tell me you got the flowers.
拉斯特三世是退役的警犬
Lassie III was a retired police dog.
Oh.
From the obit, it's amazing what you two had in common.
讣文上令人惊奇的是 你们两个的共同之处
Strong, dedicated, loyal.
-强壮、奉献、忠诚 -得过一次真菌感染、会说话的眼睛
Bouts with ringworm. Expressive eyes.
便便后会这样走路
Goes like this after he poops.
-尚恩 -说真的 你们是在插手我的案子吗？
Shawn.
Seriously, are you guys working my case?
案子？什么案子？
Case? What case?
不 不 不 不 他们一直求我来讲课
No, no, no, no. They've been after me for a while to teach a class.
我教过你什么？
What do we say?
Hmm?
噢！对
Oh! Right.
Stay out of our way and don't get involved, Spencer.
别妨碍我们办公 更别卷进来 史宾赛
This place is overwhelming.
这地方真吓人 我们从哪儿开始着手
Where do we even start?
简单 记得小学时谁知道 学校的所有事呢？
Easy. Who were the eyes and ears of Dufman Elementary?
格雷夫斯先生 学校守卫 我们关系不错
Mr. Graves, the custodian.
We had a special bond.
Custodians have access to the building at night.
学校守卫能在晚上进入校园 他可能是我们要找的人
He could be our bad guy.
If he has a deep and gravelly voice,
如果他有低沉、沙哑的声音 那他就是头号嫌疑犯
he's el suspecto primero.
你在干嘛？
Yo. How you doing?
I'm mopping up vomit. How do you think I'm doing?
我在拖地 你们以为我在干嘛？
顺道一提 门口的垫子 是让你们擦鞋底用的
By the way, those mats in front of the doors are to rub your shoes on.
真谢谢你们又给我增加了工作
Thanks for the extra work.
Uh, whoops. Sorry about that.
抱歉啊 我是尚恩史宾塞 灵异学讲师 我感觉到…
Uh, I'm Shawn Spencer, psychic lecturer.
And I sense that something is amiss in your universe.
-你的生活有些不对劲 -是啊 我的腰痛又犯了
Yeah, my lumbago's flaring up.
不 不是那个
Nope, not that.
更不寻常的事…任何事？
Something a little more out of the ordinary...
Something... Anything?
你们就不能干脆告诉我你们在找什么吗？
Can't you just tell me what you're looking for?
周五晚上这里发生过什么事吗？
Did something happen here on Friday night?
Oh. Um...
-没有 没什么值得记住的事 -我能感觉到你在撒谎
Nope. Nothing springs to mind. Uh...
I can sense you're lying.
The spirits tell me that your little pants are on fire.
身边的灵魂告诉我你现在很紧张
好啦 我周五晚上加班时发现了 这枚奇怪的金色别针
Fine. I found this weird gold pin
when I had to work late Friday night.
When I mopped this area, no pin.
我在这儿拖地时 没有别针 但等到我回来上蜡时 它就出现了
But when I circled back to wax, there it was.
是说它半夜突然出现在这儿吗
So you're saying it got here in the middle of the night?
你以为我是谁？重量级检察官吗？
Who do I look like? Jake and the Fatman?
All I know is that after two weeks in the lost and found, it's mine. Legit.
我只知道在失物招领处放两个星期后 它就归我了 完全合法
失物招领处在哪儿？
Where is this lost and found?
是谁丢了显微镜也不过来找？
Who loses a microscope and doesn't come looking for it?
Ear infection medicines. Inhalers.
耳部消炎药、吸入器
还有168副丑陋的眼镜
What appears to be 168 pairs of hideous eyeglasses.
S.X.Y.
SXY 显然这位嫌犯认为自己太性感了 他认为有必要刻在金属上
Apparently, our perp is so sexy,
he felt the need to die cast it onto steel and wear it on his lapel.
-再别在领子上 -那不是个“S”
That's not an S.
那是数学的积分符号 曲线xy下的面积
That's the integral sign in calculus for the area under the curve XY.
Whoever was skulking around here after hours must be a math teacher.
在这里偷偷摸摸好几个小时的人 一定是个数学老师
这里有多少数学老师？最多四五个？
How many math teachers work here?
- Four or five tops? - 18.
十八个
Hmm. It's all right.
那好吧 我有个计划
I have a plan. It's a scary one.
听起来有点可怕 但我们得依赖 我们的动物本能 我们…
We'll have to rely on all our animal instincts.
We are going to the Teachers' Lounge.
要进教师休息室
Try to blend in. Act natural.
设法融入 表现得自然一点
这些孩子今天是怎样 嗯？
How 'bout these kids today, huh?
老天啊 看看这些甜甜圈
Oh, my god, look at this selection of donuts.
太悲惨了
This is pathetic.
是谁剩一点点不吃完啊 一点都不合理呀
Who left a tenth?
I wanna know how that makes sense.
-你… -尚恩 集中精神 记得数学老师
- You-- - Shawn, focus.
Math teacher.
-这里没有数学老师 -你怎么知道？
There's no math teachers here.
How do you know?
That guy's been wearing goggles.
那家伙常戴护目镜 显然是化学老师
He's clearly a chem lab teacher.
小提琴痕迹 音乐老师
Violin hickey. Music teacher.
不过那个体育老师也许能帮点忙
However, a gym teacher could be more our speed.
Hey, buddy.
嘿 老兄 我们是新来的
Uh, we're new here.
有人叫我们来见一位 微积分专长的数学老师
And we were told to see a math teacher specializing in calculus.
韩教授负责课后数学辅导
Professor Hahn handles all remedial math.
能辅导数学啊 微积分是什么？ 是谈方块跟形状的那个吗？
That qualifies as remedial.
What's calculus? The one with the blocks and the shapes?
-你知道要去哪找他吗？ -下班的时候你就能见到他
Do you know where we can find him?
You can catch him at the end of the day.
-他搭我的顺风车 -太好了！葛斯 这学校可以搭顺风车
- He's in my carpool. - Sweet!
- Gus, this school has a carpool. - Answer to our prayers.
-我们的祈祷应验了 -为什么？
Why?
葛斯把车停在雕像上 结果被扣留了
Gus managed to get his car impounded.
- He parked on a statue. - I'm contesting the ticket.
我正试图上诉让他们撤销罚单
重点是 我们今天坐校车到学校的
Here's the thing. We had to take the bus to school today.
I accidentally gave myself a wedgy.
我刚好能塞进车里 葛斯只能坐在尿裤子的小女孩旁边
Gus had to sit next to the girl who peed.
Why are you telling me all of this?
你为什么要告诉我这些？
很明显吧？你能顺道送我们回家吗？
I thought it seemed obvious.
Can we get a lift home?
So must be fun being a gym teacher.
当体育老师很有趣吧 你整天都在运动
You get to play sports all day.
I teach gym at a school full of prodigy nerds.
我在满是奇怪小孩的学校教体育
每天例行公事就是收个三百张请假条
I start off my day by getting 300 notes
excusing kids from gym class because of rickets or IBS.
病因从软骨症到肠躁症都有 有一次我扔球给一个学生
I tossed a ball at a student once.
他就尿裤子了 然后他父母就上法院告我
He wet his pants.
And his parents filed a civil suit against me.
韩教授 韩
Professor Hahn. Hahn.
Math teacher, right?
-数学老师 对吧？ -是的
Yes. Are you the new psychic lecturer?
你是新的通灵讲师吗？
是的 我正在感应你 你是弗瑞德语录的粉丝吗？
That I am.
I'm getting a feeling about you.
Are you a Right Said Fred fan?
-太性感了 连你的衬衫都配不上你吗？ -什么？
Are you too sexy for your shirt?
Excuse me.
我是说你太性感 你的衬衫都受伤了
I'm sensing you're so sexy it hurts.
Boop.
噢 你在哪找到的？
Oh. How'd you find that?
-嘿 笨蛋 停这里 -我感觉到莱利可能忘记了
Hey, moron. Right up here.
I'm sensing Riley may have forgotten
因为你上周五没搭车
because you didn't use the carpool last Friday.
没错 我待的晚了点 好了 这儿 就停在这儿
Wow, that's right. I stayed late.
Okay, right here.
Stop right here.
低沉的声音 错过了星期五的顺风车
Deep voice. Missed the carpool on Friday.
听起来像我们要找的人 现在我们要搞清楚的就是
Sounds like our guy.
Now we've just gotta figure out why and how he's gonna kill somebody.
他还打算怎么杀人
And one more thing.
还有一件事 如果明早来晚了的话
If you are late picking me up in the morning,
我把你头拧下来
I will tear your head off.
Maybe just the how.
也许只要搞清楚他打算怎么杀人
Are you prepared for your psychic seminar?
-你准备好通灵课了吗？ -葛斯 别这样
Gus, please.
Any leads?
有进展吗 我正让自己融入 《南茜茱儿》的剧情里
I'm adapting this into a Nancy Drew fanfic.
我认为嫌疑犯就在附近
I believe whoever's involved is in the vicinity.
我们替你们做了笔记 做记号的地方是你们可以尝试的方向
We made notes for you.
Bullet points you might wanna try to hit.
-不要表现出害怕 -不要使用分裂不定式
Don't show any fear. Don't split any infinitives.
-不要使用悬吊分词 -至少别在公众场合用
Don't dangle your participles.
At least not in public.
听着 如果我能听懂你们在说什么
Look, if I understood what you guys were saying,
I'd still be a virgin.
我应该还是个处男 去吧 去上课
Now, run along.
Go to class.
Really?
认真的吗？
韩老师来了
Hahn is here.
The seminar's open to both students and teachers, Gus.
这个讲座同时开放给老师跟学生 葛斯
是我邀请韩来的
I personally extended Hahn an invitation so I can grill him
这样我就可以在大家面前审问他
in front of a live studio audience.
如果他以前杀过人 我能让他招认
If he's killed before, I'll get him to confess.
你要怎么同时上课又进行审问呢？
How're you gonna interrogate someone
and teach a class at the same time?
First the carrot, then the stick.
先给甜头 再赏巴掌
You don't even know what that means, do you?
-你根本就不知道那什么意思 对吧？ -走开
Leave me alone.
通灵学
Phsysics.
也就是通灵的物理学
The physics of psychics.
我是尚恩史宾塞教授
I'm Professor Shawn Spencer.
我会成为你们通灵学的船夫 渡你们过冥河
I will be your psychic ferryman over the River Styx.
That's Gus. My ferry.
这是葛斯 我的船
Hello.
-你们好 -每个人身上都拥有特殊能力
Each one of us is born with a kernel
我称之为超能力之核
of what I like to dub paranormalevolance.
我的超能力之核则比常人大了不少
I, however, was born with an extra normal amount.
大概两倍吧 请容我展示
Two cops to be exact.
Allow me to demonstrate.
恭喜你牙套拆了
Congratulations on getting your braces removed.
That doesn't mean you're psychic.
那不代表你会通灵 也许你只是观察力敏锐而已
Maybe you're just hyper-observant.
你每天都穿那件白色运动衫
You wear that white sweatshirt everyday.
需要我告诉大家原因吗？
Shall I tell the class why?
You.
你
你 年轻人
You, young man.
用点芦荟产品对你的混合肌肤有好处
A little aloe will do wonders for that combination skin.
And perhaps you should use more care while shaving.
还有你刮胡子时小心点
或是等你脸上真的长了胡子再刮
Or, just wait until you can grow facial hair altogether.
你可能只是进来时闻到我的 胡后水味道而已
You could've just smelled my aftershave on the way in.
来场真正的测试如何？ 我先在黑板上写下答案
How 'bout a real test? I'll write the answer on the board.
我来说出问题是什么 放马来啊 崔贝克先生
And I'll tell you the question.
Have at it, young Trebek.
Trebek, I said.
-我说了 崔贝克 -这是《危险边缘》
- This is Jeopardy! - Potent potables.
-酒精饮料 -以“P”开头的问题
Questions that start with p.
班上的小聪明自以为能让我出丑
The smartass who thinks he's gonna make me look silly.
他是谁呀？
Who is this guy?
Ooh!
你的负面能量阻挡了我的通灵能力
Your negativity is really impeding my psychic ability.
-或你只是个大骗子 -去校长办公室
Or you're just a big fraud.
You know what? Go to the principal's office.
-等等 -滚出教室 去
- Wait a sec, come on. - Get out of here, go.
Go. Go, get out of here.
滚 滚 滚出去
Get out of here.
None of you should be friends with him.
-你们都不该跟他做朋友 -韩
Hahn.
Professor Hahn.
韩教授
我感觉到你有某种能量 黑暗的能量 没错
I'm getting something from you.
A kind of darkness. Yes.
I see you clearly.
我看透你了
有个目标
With a target.
我会去标靶百货买东西
I shop at Target.
Sure, but, but, I...
当然 但 但我…
我看到你跟你的表亲通电话
I see you on a cell phone with your cousin.
Plotting, planning.
密谋着一项秘密计划
Something secret.
是 是的 我正计划着…
Yes.
Yes, I've been planning a...
要帮我的小姨子办惊喜派对 要让她感到惊喜并不简单
Surprise party for my sister-in-law.
She's impossible to surprise.
That's amazing.
你太厉害了
好啦 她想要小狗 就给她小狗
Yeah, well, if she's gonna have puppies, she's gonna have puppies.
我们又拿她没办法 听着 如果你能…
There's nothing we can do about it.
Look, if you had her fixed like I--
Do you need something?
-有事吗？ -有
Yes, actually.
-那？ -那什么？
- Well? - Well, what?
那就命令我挂电话啊 我现在该工作 却在浪费时间
Well, order me off the phone. You need me to work, and I'm wasting time.
That's a nice touch.
干得好
我看了学校那些孩子的陈述
I've been reviewing the statement we took from the kids on campus.
他们说无论这位老师是谁
They said whoever this teacher is,
他都已经杀过人 而且计划再开杀戒
he's already killed once, and he's going to kill again.
-是的 -没错
- Right. - Right.
让我想到要破一件还没发生的案子 实在不简单 所以…
It strikes me that it's difficult to solve a crime
that hasn't happened yet, so
为何不把重点放在已经发生的谋杀案呢？
why don't we focus our attention on the murder that already has?
-有道理 -很好
- Makes sense. - Great.
这些是过去五年来在圣塔芭芭拉
These are the case files for every unsolved homicide
未破案的谋杀案档案
in the Santa Barbara area over the last five years.
Lot of paper cuts there.
真多档案啊
- Have fun. - No.
-祝你调查得开心 -不…
我需要你来帮忙看资料
I need you to review these
然后告诉我那些跟这次谋杀案有关
and tell me if there are any connections with the Meitner faculty.
是哦 我不干
Yeah...
I'm not gonna do that.
你总是把背景调查工作丢给我
You delegate this background stuff all the time.
To me, usually.
而且都是在我有约会的时候
Almost always when I have dinner plans.
现在…
Now. Go through these with a fine-tooth comb
好好梳理一遍这些资料 告诉我有什么发现吧
and tell me what you find.
If it's not too much trouble.
-如果方便的话 -奥哈拉 你被权力迷了心智了
O'Hara, you are drunk with power.
我知道！很棒吧？
I know! Isn't it great?
刚刚完美的展示就是通灵学的 实际运用状况
And that amazing demonstration is phsysics at work.
就像你心里想着一首歌 接下来那首歌就出现在广播中
It's like thinking of a song, and then, bam!
It's the next tune on the radio.
或是…你能找到跟女孩接吻的绝佳时机
Or... or that moment when you know it's right to kiss a girl.
那就是通灵力量的实际运用
That's when you use the power.
Professor Hahn.
韩教授
-我又感觉到你… -教授？
- I'm still sensing something from-- - Um, professor?
叫我先生
Call me sensei.
-要怎么运用… -先生
- How can we harness-- - Uh, uh, uh. Sensei.
-先生 -是的
- Sensei. - Yes.
要怎么运用这种力量来跟女生接吻呢？
How can we harness this power to help us um...
Kiss girls?
-我来接手吧 尚恩 -噢 我不确定 葛斯
I'll take it from here, Shawn.
Oh, I don't know, Gus.
也许现在不该妨碍他们 在性别交流上的发展
Now may not be the time to impede their psycho-sexual development.
可能你忘了 我才是那个
Well, maybe you've forgotten that I was the one who took
the hottest girl in school to the prom.
带着校花去参加舞会的人
That's because I told her you were dying.
那是因为我告诉她你快死了
Otherwise, I would have had to pay for the limo myself.
要不然我就得自己付豪华轿车的租金了
Let me take this, please.
让我来 拜托
Gus, my ferry.
葛斯 我的渡船
谢谢 尚恩
Thank you, Shawn.
初吻很讲技巧
Now, kissing someone for the first time can be tricky business.
I like to employ the Kadeem Hardison method.
我喜欢使用卡丹哈迪森法
当你在约会时…
When you're on a date--
Uh, uh, I can sense a question forming in all of your minds.
我感应到你们都在想同一个问题
“卡丹哈迪森是谁” 对吗？
If it's "Who is Kadeem Hardison?"
或是“怎么邀人去约会” 手放下
Or "How do we ask someone on a date?"
Put 'em down.
听着 这不是你们的错
Listen, it's not your fault.
Just look at this class. You're all a bunch of dudes.
看看这个班 你们都是一群哥儿们
Um, we're girls.
我们是女生耶
That's awkward.
太怪了吧
下次课程会包含所有约会事项
I'll cover all the dating stuff in my next seminar.
“青春期:洪水猛兽还是被误解的朋友”
"Puberty: Monster or Misunderstood Friend?"
我送去校长室那个孩子 脸上涂了奇怪的痘痘药
That kid I sent to the office had some weird zit cream on.
Professor Enrico.
恩里科教授
葛斯特 波顿葛斯特
Guster. Burton Guster.
入学考试时是你负责面试我？
You interviewed me for admission?
-数学神童 -我面试过一大堆人
Math prodigy?
I interview people all the time.
-你是最近来面试的吗？ -可以算是啦
Was this recently?
Semi-recent.
20 years ago.
二十年前
我边念抑扬格四步诗边跳踢踏舞
But I tap-danced in trochaic tetrameter.
-把你感动得都要哭了 -好像想起来了
- Made you wanna cry. - That rings a bell.
So... visiting the old alma mater?
现在是回访母校吗
No, I went to public school.
-不 我后来去了公立学校 -真的吗？
Really?
我记得我同意你的入学申请呀
Could've sworn I recommended admission.
不然像你这样的人才应该进了 喷射推进实验室或是
Either way,
I assume a person with your skills ended up at JPL
智囊团了吧
or some kind of think tank?
Actually, I ended up in pharmaceuticals.
事实上 我最后选择了药学
You know... curing stuff.
你知道 治愈疾病之类的
Well, keep up the good work.
噢 好好做下去吧
谢谢
Thank you.
Dude.
老兄 你怎么没提到你的神奇头脑
You didn't even mention Magic Head.
两位 我们快吓死了
Guys, we're freaking out.
我们很确定韩教授就是我们找的人
We're pretty sure Professor Hahn is our guy.
-那就把他交给警方 -没有证据就不行
- So turn him in to the cops. - Not without proof.
Know anything about him?
-你还知道些关于他的事吗 -我们唯一一次见他
The only time we see him is when he gets his espresso
就是早上上课前他去买咖啡的时候
in the morning before homeroom.
-学校里有咖啡厅？ -等等！
There's an espresso bar here on campus?
Wait! Wasn't Hahn involved in that thing?
韩好像和那件事也有关
- You remember that thing? - The thing with the other thing?
-和另一件事有关的那件事吗？ -不 就是最开始那件事
No, no. Just the first thing from five years ago.
五年前学生袭击教授那件事？
When the student attacked the professor?
噢 对那有可能也是韩做的
Oh, yeah, that could've been Hahn.
有个学生攻击韩 他让校长把那学生开除了
Some student attacked Hahn and he made sure the headmaster expelled him.
攻击他的学生是谁？
Who's the student that attacked him?
根据学校的电脑资料
According to the school computers,
过去十年唯一 被开除的学生是莱斯特贝克兰
the only kid to be expelled in the last ten years
was a Lester Baekeland.
What are you doing?
你在做什么
试着感染瘟疫啊
Getting the plague, apparently.
God.
老天
贝考克、贝比特、贝特拉…
Babcock, Babette, Battra something...
Baekeland.
贝克兰 老天
God.
我知道你为什么想来这里了 葛斯
I can see why you wanted to go here, Gus.
他们事无大小全部记录在案 就跟你一样
They keep meticulous records of everything just like you.
Mm-hmm.
因作弊被开除 这里有他的听证会的记录
Expelled for cheating.
Dude, there's a transcript of his hearing.
-写了什么？ -这孩子说
What does it say?
The kid claimed Hahn busted him for cheating,
韩逮到他作弊…
然后向他索讨奖学金作封口费
then tried to extort his scholarship money
from him to stay quiet.
韩否认
Hahn denies it.
校长当然站在老师一边 这孩子就被开除了
Headmaster, of course, sides with the teacher.
The kid gets expelled.
Huh.
这么说韩是个敲诈之徒
Well, that means Hahn is a blackmailer.
或许他威胁错人了
Maybe he threatened the wrong person this time.
Gus?
葛斯？
-葛斯 -我被录取了
Gus.
I got in.
-我申请 然后被录取了 -真厉害 兄弟
I applied,
and I got in.
That means a lot, buddy.
你决定和好朋友在一起
You'd rather stay with your best friend than, you know, have a future.
-放弃大好前程 -不 尚恩
No, Shawn.
这写着“申请人家长拒绝接受录取”
It says, "parents of applicant refused admission."
要是我知道这件事 我一定会崩溃
If I'd known I'd gotten in, I would've been ghost.
进了这里就等于一条腿踏进常春籐联盟了
This place has a direct line to the Ivy league.
-我父母为什么要拒绝？ -不知道
Why would my parents turn it down?
I don't know, maybe it was just too expensive.
-也许学费太贵了 -我可以拿到奖学金的 尚恩
I could've gotten financial aid, Shawn.
这里一半学生都靠奖学金和津贴过日子
Half the kids here are on scholarships with stipends.
我们先别烦这些好吗？ 我们正要阻止一起谋杀
Can we not obsess about this right now?
We do have a murder to prevent.
我没烦 尚恩
I'm not obsessing, Shawn.
我只是发现我的人生也许被我父母扭转了
I just found out that the course of my life
may have been changed by my parents.
-你看过《双面情人》吧？你看过 -我没有
You've seen Sliding Doors.
I most certainly have not. Yes, you did.
-老兄 我没看过《双面情人》 -我、你 还有蜜希伊萨克
Dude, I have not seen Sliding Doors.
It was me, you, and Missy Isaacs. What are you talking about?
-你在说什么？ -我在说葛妮丝派楚
I'm talking about a Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle that I know I never saw.
-我没看过的东西 -拜托
Please.
我知道你在家 这是我第五则信息了 打给我
I know you're home. This is my fifth message.
Call me back.
他们故意不接我电话 想让我放下
They're just screening my calls until I've let this go.
-但他们不会得逞 -葛斯 面对现实吧
But it's not gonna happen.
Gus, let's face it.
你父母认为 在我们小时把我们分开是个错误
Your parents thought splitting us up at a young age was a mistake.
我觉得他们做得对
And I can't say I blame them.
For a while, I was your only friend that wasn't imaginary
那时我是你现实中唯一的朋友
or an action figure of some kind.
-而不是卡通里的人物 -尚恩
Shawn, if anything,
要说我父母让我留在公立学校 有什么好处的话
my parents wanted me to stay in public school
那就是跟你们这些人相比我显得很出色
so that I would stand out compared to people like you.
-是啊 说得一点儿没错 -我不知道哪件事更糟
Yeah. No holes in that theory.
I don't know which is worse.
是我父母躲我电话
My parents dodging my calls,
还是你让我起床后第一件事 就是去接个杀人犯
or you volunteering me to pick up a murderer first thing in the morning.
老兄 本来就是轮到你开车了
Dude, it is your turn to drive the carpool.
我们的计划是什么？ 今天就是谋杀发生的日子
What's our plan? Today is murder day.
Speaking of murder day, is that really what you're wearing?
说起谋杀发生的日子 你真的要穿这样吗
Shawn, in about two minutes,
尚恩 再过两分钟 我们就要和一个杀人犯近距离接触
we're gonna be in a confined space with a killer.
-给我一个冒险的理由 -我当然有个好理由 葛斯
Please tell me you have a good reason.
Of course I have a good reason, Gus.
这次只有你 我和他 这次我会把他稳稳拿下
This time, it'll be just you, me, and him,
and I will totally break him down.
那是韩的家
That's Hahn's house.
或者…
Or...
也许只剩你和我了
Maybe it'll just be you and me.
根据我们的专家判断
Well, according to our arson investigator,
这就是凶手
here is our murderer.
显然炉子漏气
Apparently, there was a slight gas leak in the stove.
一晚下来整栋房子充满天然气
Overnight, the room fills with natural gas,
早上他的咖啡壶启动 产生火花 然后就“喀碰”
the coffee pot clicks on in the morning,
there's a spark, and ka-boom.
不 我感觉到应该更像是“喀砰”
No, I'm sensing it was definitely more of a ka-blam.
So you're saying this was an accident?
-所以你说这是起意外？ -专家说
Arson investigator says there's no sign of foul play.
没有故意纵火的迹象
我们唯一一次见他 就是早上上课前
The only time we see him is when he gets his espresso
他去买咖啡时
in the morning before homeroom.
Wait, I'm having a vision.
等等 我看到东西了
韩喜欢意大利咖啡 浓缩咖啡
Hahn preferred Italian coffee. Espresso.
Why would he be brewing coffee here
如果他会到学校买咖啡
if he was gonna get his fix in the morning at school?
又为什么要自己在家煮？
我感应到凶手是把咖啡机带到这里
I'm sensing our killer brought the coffee machine here
制造气体泄露后再用它来引爆
and used it as a detonator after creating the gas leak.
什么凶手 史宾赛？
What killer, Spencer?
-我们的专家说这是意外 -我说是谋杀
Our expert says it's an accident.
I say murder.
这正是吸引我来这废墟的原因
It's what drew me to this wretched place.
找煮咖啡的女孩问话
Talk to the girl who makes the espresso.
我通常不这么做 但我强烈地感应到 她能证实我的观点
I usually don't do this, but I have a strong sense she'll back this up.
韩每天早上第一件事就是喝杯咖啡 你们怎么叫那些煮咖啡的人？
Hahn had a cup first thing every morning.
What do you call those coffee people?
他们既不叫收银员 也不叫服务生
They're not cashiers. They're not waitresses.
咖啡师
Barista.
Gus, if you don't know the answer, don't make up words.
葛斯 如果你不知道就不要瞎编
取消赎回权
（2007年8月15日）
Dude, Hahn was broke.
老兄 原来韩破产了
怪不得他要敲诈
No wonder he's a blackmailer.
还款日和谋杀日是同一天 是巧合吗？
The due date for the payment is the same as murder day.
Coincidence?
我觉得不是
I think not.
It was staticky.
不太清楚
但我们听到一个 低沉、沙哑的声音在跟他的表亲说话
But we heard a deep, gravelly voice talking to their cousin.
Someone named Muriel.
好像叫穆瑞尔
（缪丽尔 少管所-1991年）
我们办定这案子了
We are so on this case now.
你说了算 奥哈拉
It's your call, O'Hara.
是意外 我们就可以收工了 是谋杀的话
Either it's an accident and we're done,
or it's a homicide, and there's a killer on the loose.
凶手仍在逃
我一直都不认为是意外
I don't buy this accident angle for a second.
那些孩子确实说过这会发生
Those kids practically said this would happen.
带他们回来问话
Let's bring them back in for questioning.
（圣塔芭芭拉警察局）
如果你现在坦白 供出你的同谋
If you confess now,
name your accomplices,
我会让检查官知道你很合作 而且也许
I will let the D.A. know that you cooperated.
And maybe, just maybe, no guarantees.
只是也许 没有保证 只是也许
Just maybe...
they'll cut you a break.
他们会从宽处理
- It's terrible. - What?
-烂透了 -什么？
Am I scared? Am I quaking?
我看起来害怕吗？
我有发抖吗？不 那只算“微发飙”
No, that was what I call lower case mad.
你需要“大发雷霆”
You need to be upper case mad.
那些怪小孩在B审讯室
Those strange kids are in Interrogation B.
听着 奥哈拉
Listen, O'Hara.
鉴于你稍显平庸的表现
Given your slightly pedestrian performance,
而且此案越发趋向谋杀案
and the fact that this has now jumped to a straight-up homicide,
-也许该重新由我来掌权 -为什么？这是我的案子
maybe I should take over as lead.
But, why? It's my case.
这案子如果只是听小孩撒撒谎 你办还差不多
Which was fine when it was just kids telling tales,
but there are certain nuances involved in a murder investigation
但涉及到谋杀细节就有些差别了 需要有经验的
which require a more experienced touch.
-老手来处理 -细节？
Nuances the chief says I'll learn by being primary.
局长说我要亲自负责一个案子 才能有所成长
-没错 但是… -但是什么？
Yeah, but...
- But what? - There was an explosion.
这是爆炸案
I've never had a case with an explosion before.
我从没接过发生爆炸案
我办过攻击和闯空门的案子 有一次还办了一个热水瓶杀人案
I've had assault and burglary cases.
Once I even had a murder by thermometer.
可是我从来没遇上过爆炸案
But I never had an explosion.
我意思是 别装了 难道你从来没想像过 自己从冒着熊熊烈火的隧道里
I mean, come on, haven't you ever pictured yourself
trying to outrun a fireball down a dark tunnel?
-飞身逃出？ -没有
No.
很显然 由于最近的事件
Obviously, due to recent events,
we are taking a closer look at everything surrounding the school,
我们更加留意学校周边的事物 包括你们的口供
including the statement you gave to us.
你是说我们预测今天有人要死？
You mean when we predicted someone was going to die today?
- And they did? - Well, that.
-而且也确实发生了？ -这个嘛
-那件事 还有… -说话注意点 小朋友
- And... - Watch your mouth, kid.
你们耍不了任何人 我们知道是怎么回事
Okay, you're not fooling anybody. We know what's going on here.
他的意思是…
What he means is...
Please tell us again about the phone call you overheard.
跟我们说说你们意外监听到的 那通电话
不 告诉我们你们跟韩的关系
No.
Tell us about your relationship with Hahn.
-你个小杂… -拉斯特 别这样 他们只是孩子
You little son of a--
Lassiter, stop. They're teenagers.
We're sorry.
-非常抱歉 -第六十三课
Lesson 63. Do not apologize to the perp.
-别跟犯人道歉 -他们不是罪犯
- They're not perps. - You don't know that.
-你又不确定 -你俩不了解
You two aren't really acquainted with game theory
囚徒困境吧？
- or prisoner's dilemma, are you? - Huh?
他是说你们黑脸白脸没配合好
He means you two don't really get the good cop bad cop dyad.
-你们正在交往吗？ -不 他配不上她
Are you guys, like, together?
No, she's way out of his league.
But no ring.
但没戒指 以他的年纪 我猜应该是离婚了
Given his age, I'm guessing divorced.
-我…抱歉…什么？ -还没办法提离婚的事吧
I-- Sorry. What?
Still can't talk about it.
不久前发生的吧？
So it's relatively recent then?
I'm getting separated. Not divorced.
是分居了 还没离婚
你曾认真倾听过她的问题吗？ 而不是一心只想着如何解决
Did you ever just listen to her problems,
rather than always trying to solve them?
你肯定是个固执的警察 对吧？ 从没让她进入你的内心世界
No, you had to be the big tough cop, didn't you?
You never let her inside.
See this, brainiac?
看到没 天才？
等你们到了18岁就是这样解决 你们高中毕业
This is what's waiting for you when you turn 18.
You're gonna graduate, and get your diploma, and then, bam!
拿到学位 然后“砰”
你们就会坐在被告席
We're taking a trip down to the docks.
你看上去不够凶 因为只有一只手
That doesn't look very intimidating with, uh, you know, the one arm.
When did my house become a daycare center?
我家什么时候变成安亲班了？
爸 你烦了我好几个月 叫我帮你修电脑了
Dad, you've been bugging me for months to fix your computer.
I finally bring the Geek Squad in to do it,
我找来了电脑高手 你还要数落我吗？
and now you're gonna give me a hard time?
谢谢
Thank you.
韩有某人的青少年犯罪记录
Hahn had someone's juvenile record.
也许他发现了凶手的一些往事
Maybe he dug up something on our killer's past,
which means we have to hack into the juvie database.
-这说明我们得进入青少年犯罪数据库 -是啊 我同意
Yeah, I'm with you except for the part about coming to my dad's house.
除了来我爸家这部分
根据孩子们说的 这骇客行为会查到我们头上来的
Well, according to the kids, the hacking may come back to us.
而这样执法单位就会被引到
Now the authorities will be led to an antique computer
这部退休警察买的古董电脑上 你还能说这是白费力气吗
purchased by a former cop.
Can you say wild goose chase?
天哪 这电脑还真是老古董啊
Jeez, this computer is ancient.
我都不知道还有人在用这种主机
I didn't realize Colecovision was still in business.
All right, I'm in.
好了 我进去了
Muriel Juvenile Hall slash Halfway House.
穆瑞尔、少管所
我要找什么？
What am I looking for?
我感觉我们的调查应该集中在1991年
I'm sensing our investigation centers on the year 1991.
1991年？
'91?
除了一些照片之外什么都没有
There's nothing but a bunch of photos here.
最上面右边那张
Click on the top right.
That's that kid I sent to the principal's office.
那不是我送到校长室的那个孩子吗
科克古德
Kirk Godel.
一张现在的照片 怎么会混到1991年的照片里？
Why the hell is a photo from today mixed in with photos from '91?
不是
It's not.
这张照片是十五年前拍的
This photo was taken 15 years ago.
（圣塔芭芭拉警察局）
我看到一个画面
I'm having a vision.
《来自雪河的人》
The man from Snowy River.
Eddie Macon's Run.
《奔向墨西哥》
Spartacus.
《斯巴达克斯》
-寇克道格拉斯！ -没错
- Kirk Douglas! - Yes.
看看是否有个学生叫寇克
See if there's a student named kirk.
注册主任给了我他们所有文件的阅览权
The registrar gave me access to all their files.
这很正常的 你知道吧
It's perfectly normal, you know.
What is?
-你说什么 -作为负责人的焦虑
The anxiety of being in charge.
我能感觉到你把全世界的重量 放在自己的肩膀上
I can sense you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
I just really wanna get this right.
我只是很想做好
噢 找到了 寇克古德
Oh. I've got something.
Kirk Godel.
Godel.
古德
听起来很像哥德 因为有相似的音
It's almost pronounced like girdle because of the omelet on the "o."
-应该不是这样联想吧 -都可以啦
- Pretty sure that's an umlaut. - I've heard it both ways.
让我们看看 没有青少年犯罪记录 只是个孩子
Let's see. No juvenile record, only child.
全都符合他的学校的记录 没什么特别的
All stats match up with his school records.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
-让我们看看谷歌怎么说的 -和穆瑞尔一起搜寻
Let's see what Google says.
Uh, search it with the word Muriel.
这有一篇来自穆瑞尔郡的新闻文章
Oh, here's an article from the Muriel County newsletter.
According to this article,
按照这篇文章上说的 寇克古德和他的父母
Kirk Godel and his parents died five years ago in a car crash.
五年前在一场车祸中丧生
档案里应该有死亡证明啊 但都没有
There should be a death certificate on file.
But there's no sign of it.
这到底是怎么回事？
What the hell is going on?
用点芦荟产品对你的混合肌肤有好处
A little aloe will do wonders for that combination skin.
Circle your horses, Jules.
打起精神来 茱儿 我们要像打鸡蛋一样轻松解决这个案子了
We're about to crack your case like an egg.
And then, we'll make some umlauts.
然后就可以一起做一道煎蛋卷了 加葱的哦
With shallots.
再加上正义
And justice.
（迈特纳学校）
Please take your seats.
请大家坐好
Good, I'm glad you're all on time for Phsysics Two: The Wrath of Khan.
很好 我非常高兴你们都能 准时来上第二堂课
可汗的愤怒
Today's lecture will cover comeuppance.
今天的讲座将涵盖因果报应
和如何在拥挤的教室中破一桩案
And how to solve a crime in a crowded room.
Someone here is living a lie.
在座的某个人生活在谎言当中
Someone in this room
这房间中的某个人是千面杀手
is a ghost-faced killah.
It's not you.
不是你
But you have to do something about the hair immediately.
不过你得赶紧整理你的头发 好吗？ 我得开始了
Okay? I'd start now.
You.
你
Your heart is pure.
你有一颗纯净的心 我本来想叫他摘掉耳环
I'd say lose the earring,
but I actually think he pulls it off.
但他应该已经摘了
Mm.
But you.
但是你
Y--
Why do they always run?
他们为什么总要跑？难道他们不知道 这样反倒让他们看起来像有罪吗？
Don't they know it makes them look guilty?
You need this guy?
-你找这家伙吗？ -谢谢你 拉斯特警探
Thank you, Detective Lassiter.
坐下
Have a seat.
You mind telling us what we're doing here?
-能告诉我现在什么状况吗？ -嗯
Well, as the beautiful, industrious,
由于漂亮、努力的
-奥哈拉警探经收集到… -你不是真正的寇克古德 对吧？
Detective O'Hara has already gathered...
You're not the real Kirk Godel, are you?
-真正的寇克古德请站起来吧 -我认为没这个可能了
Will the real Kirk Godel please stand up?
I don't think that's gonna happen.
你偷了寇克古德的身份 你才能进入这所学校
You stole the real Kirk Godel's identity so that you could get into this school.
不过这件案子可不止偷身份这么简单
But there's more to this case than stolen identity.
Yes, I'm sensing a much darker, diabolical past.
是啊 我感觉到了一段更加黑暗 且残忍的过往
You did a stint in juvie
你在少管所服过刑 因为你造成了某人的死亡
for causing someone's death.
十五年前
15 years ago.
-什么？你是笨蛋吗？他还是个孩子 -没错
What are you, nuts? He's a kid.
True. So how could this be possible, class?
同学们 他是怎么做到的呢？
时光隧道
Time travel.
他把自己超低温冷藏了 这样才能来到未来
He cryogenically froze himself in order to travel to the future.
-不是 -他是复制人
- No. - He's a clone of the original.
You know what? Just never mind, guys.
算了 各位
Save it for your online role playing.
到网络游戏里去发表这些想法吧
He's wearing make-up.
他化妆了
-他是同性恋吗 -不是
- Is he gay? - No.
Well, maybe.
也有可能是
Look, I don't-- I don't know.
我也…我也不清楚
But the reason he's wearing make-up is because he is actually 30,
不过他易容的原因是因为 他的真实年龄已经三十岁了
trying to pass for a teenager.
-试图伪装成未成年 -三十岁？
30?
-你用哪种保湿霜？ -同学们 我建议你们记笔记
What kind of moisturizer do you use?
Class, I would advise you take notes.
There will be a test on this.
考试可能会考哦
你一直是班上最聪明的孩子
You were always the smartest kid in your class,
但当你有了少年犯罪的记录 你就进不了大学了
but with juvie on your record, you couldn't get into college.
某天 你读了一个男孩的故事
Then one day, you read a story about a 15 year old
from your hometown who died in a fiery car crash.
他在你的老家死于一场车祸引发的爆炸 他就是真正的寇克古德
And that was the real Kirk Godel.
And you had a light bulb moment.
于是你灵光一现
家庭 一个死于车祸的年轻男孩
All your life, people thought you were younger than you looked,
你一直以来看起来都比 实际年龄年轻
so you decided to take advantage of that
你决定利用这一点 让你的人生重新开始
and hit a huge reset button on your life.
你伪造了寇克的文件
You forged kirk's documents.
然后你上网删除了他的死亡证明
Then you went online and deleted his death certificate.
A new identity plus your natural intelligence
一个新的身份加上你的智商意味着 这对你来说真是轻而易举
meant you were a cinch to make Meitner.
现在你将会从全国最好的高中毕业
Now you would graduate from one of the best high schools in the country,
获得奖学金并进入常春籐名校 然后成为一个成功人士
get a scholarship to the ivys,
and become a young captain of industry.
一切都很顺利 直到韩…
And it was all rolling along beautifully until...
Hahn discovered your dirty little secret.
发现了你肮脏的小秘密
他勒索你的学位奖学金
He blackmailed you for your scholarship stipend.
他这周三需要付钱给银行
He needed money to make a bank payment by Wednesday,
你不想给钱
money you weren't willing to pay.
你心慌意乱 叫来了你的表弟
You were so distraught, you called your cousin to vent.
You decided that the only way out was to kill Hahn,
你决定唯一的办法就是杀了韩
and make it look like an accident.
并让它看起来像场意外
最后
Finally,
你潜入系统 删除了所有关于你少年犯罪的记录
you hacked in and deleted all records that you were ever in juvie.
Brilliant until the end.
聪明到底
Well, until this... Until this last part.
直到这最后一部分 当你被抓包的时候
When you got caught.
On the wild line. Like a salmon.
你处在失控的边缘
像条鲑鱼
Pencils down.
停笔
来吧
Come on.
铐住他 奥哈拉 用我的手铐
Cuff him, O'Hara.
Here, use mine.
这是你应得的
You've earned it.
Anything else I need to learn?
-还有什么需要学的吗 -还有最后一堂课
There's one last lesson.
Forget all the other lessons and know that you're a good cop.
忘掉那些课程 记住你是个好警察
You know I'm gonna need those cuffs back, right?
你知道我要拿回那手铐的 对吧？ 很好
Good.
- Martinsdale. - Macendale.
-马汀史戴尔 -玛森戴尔
Jay Macendale.
杰玛森戴尔
Once we had the name, it was pretty easy to track the rest.
一旦我们知道了名字 剩下的调查就非常简单了
When he was 15, he stole a car on a dare,
他十五岁的时候 为了大冒险偷了车
意外撞死了个行人 因此被送进少管所
accidentally killed a pedestrian.
And that's what got him in juvie.
真不敢相信他伪装成未成年人那么久
I can't believe he passed himself off as a teenager for this long.
I don't know, Dad.
不知道耶 老爸 你若戴顶假发
Slap a wig on you, you're the spitting image of yourself when I was a kid.
你看起来就像我小时候眼中的你
这是什么意思？
What is that supposed to mean?
他又怎么了？
What's his problem?
-他终于联络上父母了 -别跟我说是学费太贵
He finally got a hold of his parents.
Don't tell me it was too expensive.
我的档案里说我有资格获得资助
My file said I qualified for financial aid.
生活品质？
Quality of life? They have 24-7 slushy machines there.
他们有24小时开着的思乐冰机耶
置物柜是柚木做的 最坚硬的木头
The lockers are made with teak. That's the strongest wood.
这些棋子看起来像是手工雕刻的 尚恩
These pieces look like they're hand-carved, Shawn.
你还真是大方啊
What's with the generosity?
I saw you were still using the ratty board
我看你还在用破木板和塑胶棋子
with the plastic pieces
所以我就去商店偷了这组
so I went ahead and shoplifted this for you.
I'm kidding. I bought it.
开玩笑 我买的
那些小天才帮我赚了一笔钱
Those kid geniuses turned me on to a great IPO.
记住了 我要是赢了 车就借我开一星期
Now, remember, I win, I get the truck for a week.
好啊 那如果我赢了 你就帮我洗车一星期
All right, how 'bout, I win, you wash the truck for a week?
Yeah, I really don't understand what that means.
我完全不知道那是什么意思
I'm out there in a pair of jean shorts,
我穿着牛仔短裤
-持续洗一星期的车… -尚恩 集中注意力
- continuously washing the vehicle for a-- - Shawn... focus.
集中
Focus.
车程太远？
Too far to drive?
你们放弃了我的前程 就因为爸爸讨厌弯道
You derailed my future because dad hates curvy roads?
我搞不好是下一个诺贝尔奖得主
I could've been the next Wittgenstein.
我这辈子从来没有晕过车
I never got carsick a day in my life.
-葛斯不太擅长处理意外状况 -我以后再跟你谈 老妈！
Gus doesn't deal very well with surprises.
I'll talk to you later, Mom!
You never told him I was the one who ran over his dog, did you?
你没告诉他我就是压死他狗的人吧？
没有 老爸 一次说一件事就够了
Dad, no.
One thing at a time.
Thank god that dog was 17.
幸好那只狗当年已经17岁了
Checkmate.
将军