生活大爆炸 第三季第十六集
[《星球大战V 克隆人战争》插曲] "The Imperial March"
您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗 Would you please turn your shirt off?
那怎么行 What?
我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐 I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music.
这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我 People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.
确实 Right.
世上最惊悚的事莫过于 There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man
有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出 who's got music blasting from between his nipples.
斯图亚特 忙啥呢 Hey, Stuart, what's going on?
你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了 Well, you might want to mark your Google calendars.
斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会 Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.
他的自传出续集了吗 Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?
我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮 I'm sure ages 79 through 87 were just action-packed.
没 就是普通的漫画签名罢了 No, just a regular comic signing.
我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生 斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他 My uncle is his dermatologist and Stan's doing him a favor.
你告诉我这些干嘛啊你 Oh, I don't want to know that!
这下好了 我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论 How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee
用银质冲浪板 the scientific foundations for interstellar flight
来星际飞行的科学依据 on a silver surfboard
一边逐行扫描他的脸 when part of my brain will be scanning his face
以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹 for signs of contagious skin disease?
斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病 Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.
一边去 你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔 Well, look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.
难以置信 我们要见到斯坦·李了 Can't believe it. We're going to meet Stan Lee!
[《变形金刚》中大黄蜂播放过的歌曲] "I'm So Excited"
我错了 我不该教他跳这舞的 I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.
我实在无法取舍 究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在 I can't decicide whether I want Stan Lee to autograph
托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上 my Journey into Mystery 83, first appearance of Thor
还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上 死亡博士的处女秀 or my Fantastic Four number five, first appearance of Dr. Doom.
[Jeopardy智力竞赛节目 思考时的音乐 节目的主题曲] (Jeopardy theme song playing)
阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持) 我选的答案是 Alex, I'm going to go with what is...
你是个傻帽 you're a dumbass?
我决定让斯坦·李把名签在 I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy
这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上 of this month's Batman.
有病吧你 That's crazy.
蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品[竞争对手] Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.
对啊 所以其他人不会让他签这个 Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,
于是我就会拥有一件 and I will be the possessor of
虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝 a unique, albeit confusing, artifact,
我从此就和那群芸芸 which will set me apart
漫画迷不再是一个级别的了 from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.
这点子不错 That's a great idea.
我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去 I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.
你对独一无二这个词很难理解么 What is it about the word "unique" you don't understand?
靠 手被纸片划破了 Damn, paper cut.
被纸割伤最痛苦了 Nothing worse than a paper cut.
你忘了割礼吧[犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式] Well, obviously you don't remember your circumcision.
上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴 There's Neosporin and Band-Aids in my top desk drawer.
这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗 Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
卫生间里有 还有厨房里 He does. And in the kitchen.
还有车里 再加上他口袋里 And in the car. And in his pocket.
没错 但我口袋里的可不给别人用 Yeah, but the ones in my pocket are mine.
-嗨 -嘿 - Hi! - Hey.
猜猜看 Guess who's going to be
周四谁会去漫画店 at the comic bookstore on Thursday?
呃 给点提示吧 Um... can you give me a hint?
斯坦·李 Stan Lee.
噢 斯坦利 Um... Stanley...
斯坦利·图奇?[著名演员] Stanley... Stanley Tucci?
不是 No.
是斯坦·李 No, Stan... Lee.
哦 斯坦·李嘛 Oh, oh, Stan Lee!
不错嘛 Cool!
你根本不知道他是谁吧 You have no idea who he is, do you?
谁说的 我当然知道 Of course I do.
你是我生命中的重要的一部分 You're an important part of my life
我自然会爱屋及乌啦 and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.
是嘛 好啊 Oh, good.
好极了 Good.
那你说说 斯坦·李是谁 So, who's Stan Lee?
星际迷航里的 Um... he was on Star Trek.
猜错了 Nope.
-那就星球大战 -又错 - Star Wars? - No.
呃 斯坦·李 Um... uh, Stan Lee.
我知道了 Ooh, he was in those
是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的 goofy kung fu movies you love so much?
那是李小龙 That's Bruce Lee.
啊哦 Oh.
那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦? So, is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother, Stan?
谢尔顿 你抽屉怎么有那么多 Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened
没拆封的薪水支票 paychecks in your desk?
因为我想买的东西 Because most of the things I'm planning to buy
市面上基本上都没有 haven't been invented yet.
这儿得有好几千块了吧 There-there must be thousands of dollars here.
你干嘛不存银行里 Why don't you put it in the bank?
鬼才相信银行 I don't trust banks.
我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了 I believe that when the robots rise up,
自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖 ATMs will lead the charge.
这儿还有一封 帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西 You've also got something from the Pasadena Municipal Court.
肯定又是回信来鄙视我 之前寄去的几封信里 Undoubtedly another snide response to my repeated letters complaining
投诉了法院门口的旗子 次序是错误的 that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order.
按照从左到右的顺序 应该先是联邦旗 州旗 From left to right, it's supposed to be federal, state,
最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗 and then city of Pasadena.
打断一下 你为此寄了好几封信过去 I'm sorry. You sent more than one letter about that?
它们看着太碍眼了 It bothers me.
谢尔顿 这是封传票 Sheldon, this is a summons.
什么的传票 A summons for what?
信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯 Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue
时间是11月16号晚上9点半 at 9:30 p.m. on November 16.
你被路边的摄像头拍下来了 They got you on a traffic camera.
挺上镜嘛 Nice picture.
11月16号 November 16?
佩妮 那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒 Penny, that's the evening you fell in your bathtub
然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗 and I had to drive you to the emergency room.
不是 No, it isn't.
就是 Yes, it is.
就不是 No, it isn't.
佩妮 我记得很清楚 Penny, I have an eidetic memory.
而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上 Also, that's a picture of you in the passenger seat
托着你那脱臼的肩膀 holding your dislocated shoulder.
才不是呢 Mmm, no, it isn't.
好吧 那为啥传票上违反交规的 Okay, then why is a summons for a traffic violation
是你的车 而且挂着你的车牌 committed in your car, bearing your license plates,
却寄来我这儿了 coming to me?
好吧 他们给我发了传票 Okay, look, they sent me the ticket.
我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车 I told them I wasn't driving
然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁" and they were all, "If it wasn't you, who was it?"
于是你就把我出卖了 So you betrayed me?
才没有 No!
这哪是出卖 It wasn't a betrayal.
我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了" It was more of a "I can't afford any more points on my license."
我已经不得不 I already have to buy my insurance
去开曼群岛上买车险了 from this place in the Cayman Islands.
但我之所以开你的车还不是因为 But the only reason I was driving your car
你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手 was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.
你有张照片记录英勇的一天 Yes,you have a photo to remember that heroic day.
没什么大不了的 It's not that big a deal.
你只要周四去法院 You just go down to the court on Thursday
交罚金就行 and you pay the fine.
我才不去交罚金 I'm not going to pay a fine.
那就说明我有罪 That would imply I'm guilty.
你确实有罪 You are guilty.
[《法律与秩序》的主题曲]
这个我喜欢 That one I liked.
我是无罪的 I am not guilty.
我只有实习驾照 I only have a learner's permit.
佩妮教我的 Penny was the teacher.
转黄灯时 她就说"快快快" When the light turned yellow she said "Go, go, go."
于是我就"开开开" So I went, went, went.
谢尔顿 对不起 Sheldon, I'm sorry.
我会还你罚金的钱 I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.
只要我能参演一部电影 或者自己拍个电视剧 You know, as soon as I get a part in a movie or my own TV series.
不用你还 因为我不会交的 You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.
周四那天 我会去法院 正义会得到伸张 On Thursday, I will have my day in court and justice will be done.
我现在就着手准备辩护 In fact, I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.
他坐定牢了 Okay, he's going to jail.
对哦 周四是斯坦·李签名日 Oh, that's right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day.
看到你做的好事了吧 Now you see what you've done?
就因为你 我们都见不到斯坦·李了 Because of you, we're all going to miss Stan Lee.
你说"都"是什么意思 What do you mean "all?"
你们是我朋友啊 Well, you're my friends.
你们要站在我旁边 支持我 为我提供案例 You'll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents,
你们上身要是够壮 and if you had the upper body strength,
我胜诉时 可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去 carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.
这个嘛 不行 Yeah, okay. No.
你是说我为自己辩护时 Are you saying that you will not stand beside me
你不会来站在我身边吗 as I plead my case?
是这个意思 That's what I'm saying.
霍华德 Howard?
斯坦·李 法庭上的你 Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court.
要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单 Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice
电影就不会那么长了 不行 it would've been a much shorter movie. No.
拉杰 你会来吧 Raj? You'll be there, won't you?
那好吧 我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我 All right, then. My so-called friends have forsaken me.
看来只剩我和目击证人了 So, I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness.
晕死 Oh, balls.
请着装得体一点 Please try to wear something appropriate.
要是法官只顾着想 It won't help my case
你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思 if the judge is busy trying to read the word "Juicy"
对我的案子没好处 scrawled across your buttocks.
佩妮 Penny.
节奏不对 That's just wrong.
好了 走吧 All right, let's go.
等一下 去法院之前 Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse,
我想看一下你的演技 I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.
这是什么 What is this?
我冒昧地 I've taken the liberty
为你起草了出庭作证的剧本 of scripting your appearance on the witness stand
面对现实 你有点我行我素 because, let's face it, you're somewhat of a loose cannon.
别担心 都是用你的方言写的 Now, don't worry; it's written in your vernacular.
我们排练一下如何 So shall we rehearse?
我有得选吗 Do I have a choice?
你当然有选择权 Well, of course you have a choice.
虽然我们生活在宿命里 Although we live in a deterministic universe,
但每个人都有自由选择的权力 each individual has free will.
给我坐下 Now, sit down.
请你回忆下 11月16日发生的事 I call your attention to the events of November 16.
你记得那天吗 Do you remember that date?
废话 我记得 "Darn tootin', I do.
请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加 "If the court will excuse my homespun,
粗俗简朴的语言 corn-fed Nebraskan turn of phrase."
很好 继续 Excellent. Go on.
我记得那天 "The reason that date is, like,
而且铭记在我的脑子里 "so totally fixed in my memory
是因为我有幸目睹了 "is that I had the privilege to be witness
毕生从未见过的英勇行为 to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in, like, ever."
谁的英勇行为 "And who performed that heroic act?"
您的啊 阁下 "Why, you did, sir.
您 谢尔顿·库珀博士 "You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
而且我想说 我很荣幸认识您 And may I add, it is a privilege to know you."
不必称赞我 "There's no need for compliments.
法庭只看重事实 This court is only interested in the facts."
但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊 "But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.
真的 Totally."
一滴泪从我面颊流下 A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!
纯属建议 Only a suggestion.
喉咙哽咽一下也可以 A catch in your throat would work just as well.
但我感觉 "But it is a fact
很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊 "that it's a privilege to know you.
真的 Totally."
你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧 Maybe you should put on your "Juicy" pants again.
去交罚金 Pay the cashier.
谢尔顿·库珀 Sheldon Cooper.
早上好 法官大人 Good morning, Your Honor.
我是谢尔顿·库珀博士 自我辩护 Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se.
也就是说 代表我自己 That is to say, representing himself.
我知道什么意思 I know what it means.
我读过法律学校 I went to law school.
结果却在审理交通法庭 And yet you wound up in traffic court.
不管怎样 Anyway,
法官允许的话 if it would please the court,
我想做个开庭陈述 I'd like to begin with an opening statement.
法官会建议你简短点 The court would advise you to make it quick,
因为法官早上吃了可能馊了的玉米煎饼 as the court had a dicey-looking breakfast burrito this morning
而且刚吃了易蒙停(止泻药) and just took an Imodium.
快速的开场陈述 A quick opening statement.
如同一个挤奶凳 本案有三个 立足点 Like a milking stool, my case rests on three legs.
我要论证的是 I will demonstrate
我在驾驶过程中 受到一个女人的误导 that I was improperly instructed in driving
这个女人缺乏社会上 by a woman whose lack of respect for society
对反社会界定的基本认识 borders on the sociopathic.
我要争辩的是 I will argue
紧急情况下的法律原理 that the emergency met the legal doctrine
是需要即合法[拉丁文] of quod est necessarium est licitum--
也就是需要即合法 that which is necessary is legal.
但首先 But first,
我要提出第六条修正案[美国权利法案] I will raise a Sixth Amendment issue.
我无法与控方对峙 I'm unable to confront my accuser,
因为控方是一台非人类机器 a non-human entity, to wit,
也就是摄像机 a camera.
所以 综上所述 So, to sum up:
错误指导 improper instruction;
加上"需要即合法"的原理 quod est necessarium est licitum;
还有第六条修正案 Sixth Amendment.
我的挤奶凳辨述完毕 My milk stool is complete.
佩服佩服 Impressive.
谢谢 Thank you.
罪名成立 Guilty.
去付钱吧 Pay the cashier.
我反对 I object.
你这是在无视法律 You're completely ignoring the law.
不 我遵守法律 No, I'm following the law.
只是在无视你 I'm ignoring you.
是吗 Really?
提醒你一下 我可是业内顶尖人士 I would point out that I am at the top of my profession,
你却坐在桌子后面过家家 while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
库珀博士 我给你个机会为你最后的言论道歉 Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt
不然我要视你为蔑视法庭 and throw you in jail, I'm going to give you a chance
把你扔进监狱 to apologize for that last remark.
我可是个科学家 I am a scientist.
我才不会为陈述事实而道歉 I never apologize for the truth.
那是我的位置 That's my spot.
我等不及要问斯坦·李 I can't wait to ask Stan Lee
为什么他笔下每个角色的姓和名 why he insists on giving all his characters first and last names
开头字母都是一样的 that start with the same letter.
得了 你真是十万个为什么[以下均为惊奇漫画人物] Oh, come on. Why would you do that?
布鲁斯·班纳 里德·理查 Bruce Banner, Reed Richards,
（分别出自《绿巨人》和《神奇四侠》）
苏珊·斯汤 斯蒂芬·史催博士 Sue Storm, Stephen Strange,
（分别出自《神奇四侠》和《怪谈故事》 后者为惊奇的系列漫画）
奥拓·八爪博士和银影侠 Otto Octavius, Silver Surfer,
（分别出自《蜘蛛侠》和《神奇四侠》）
彼得·帕克 还有最夸张的 Peter Parker, oh, and worst of all,
（出自《蜘蛛侠》）
小约翰·约拿·詹姆森 J. Jonah Jameson, Jr.
（出自《神奇的蜘蛛侠》）
好吧 我要插在你前面 Okay, I'm cutting.
免得斯坦·李被你惹毛了我遭殃 I'm not gonna talk to Stan Lee after you cheese him off.
《蜘蛛侠》的主题音乐铃声 "Spider-Man" theme ringtone playing
嗨 Hey.
谢尔顿进了监狱 Sheldon's in jail.
啥 谢尔顿进了监狱?! Sheldon's in jail?!
被你说中了 You called it.
-怎么搞的 -你觉得呢 - For what? - What do you think?
就是他平时一贯的找抽风格 For doing the same crap he always does,
只不过法官不吃这一套 except to a judge.
他不道歉就出不来 He has to stay in there until he apologizes.
那就让他道歉啊 So tell him to apologize.
多谢提醒 莱纳德 你以为我没想过吗 Oh, gee, thanks, Leonard. That didn't occur to me.
如果他五点前还不道歉 If he doesn't apologize by 5:00,
就得在监狱里过夜了 he is going to spend the night in jail.
哦不 真是糟糕 Oh, no, that's terrible.
哇 队伍动了 挂了 回见 Ooh, the line's moving. Got to go. Bye.
有人吗 Excuse me?
狱卒在吗 Excuse me, jailor?
咋了 What?
我要上厕所 I need to use the restroom.
在那边 自便 Knock yourself out.
这算是马桶? That's the toilet?
不然你以为是许愿池吗 Well, it ain't a wishing well.
请转告法官 我准备向他道歉 Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.
看啊 Look at that.
"致吾友 莱纳德 "To my friend, Leonard.
独行侠 斯坦·李" From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"
（惊奇漫画的一个系列 后改称Loners）
牛逼 Awesome.
我上面写的是 "致吾友 霍华德" Mine says, "To my friend, Howard.
独行侠 斯坦·李 From Stan Lee, Excelsior!"
我上面写的是 "致拉杰 斯坦·李" Mine says, "To Raj, from Stan Lee."
因为你纠结他的角色名 把他惹毛了 That's 'cause you pissed him off about his character names.
搞毛 Hey,
我还没提达姆弹头杜甘和绿魔 I didn't even mention Dum Dum Dugan or Green Goblin,
（前者是惊奇漫画虚拟组织S.H.I.E.L.D成员 后者出自《蜘蛛侠》）
马特·默多克和小辣椒波兹 Matt Murdock, Pepper Potts,
（分别出自《夜魔侠》和《钢铁侠》）
末日博士[出自《神奇四侠》] Victor Von Doom,
还有最夸张的 oh, and worst of all,
米莉模特(惊奇漫画的长篇幽默系列) Millie the Model.
我们回来了 We're home.
伙计 情况如何 Oh, hey, buddy. How'd it go?
你明明都知道了还问个屁 You know very well how it went.
是啊 但我们想听你亲口说 Yeah, but we all want to hear it from you.
我被判有罪 还被罚了533美元 I was found guilty and fined $533.
我会写张支票给你 I'm going to write you a check for that.
只要你答应我藏在抽屉里 As long as you promise to put it in your drawer
别去兑换 就和其他那些东西一样 and never cash it, like the others.
我还没有驾照 I also now have three points
但上面已经被扣了三点 on a driver's license I do not yet possess,
还被迫道了个冤枉歉 and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology,
只因为我拒绝在一群犯人面前 simply because I refuse to urinate
就着个不锈钢尿盆排尿 in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
再加上 你错过了和斯坦·李见面 Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.
好了 别刺激他了 霍华德 Okay, that's enough, Howard.
这可怜虫够难受的了 The poor guy's had a tough time.
一个下午都待在监狱 He had to spend the entire afternoon in jail
还穿成这幅德行 wearing that suit.
说得对 You're right,
所以我们也别提在亲笔签名后 so it would be cruel to mention
他带斯图尔特和咱一起去吃了意式冰淇淋 that after he finished signing autographs,
这就太残酷了 Stanley took Stuart and us out for gelato.
你们和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋? You had gelato with Stan Lee?
他还允许我们叫他斯坦 He said we could call him Stan.
除了拉杰 Except for Raj.
你这下满意了吧 佩妮 Well, I hope you're satisfied, Penny.
今天我所遭受的磨难 You are responsible
这全都是你的错 for all the evil that has be fallen me today.
-好吧 我知道... -我还没说完呢 - Okay, I realize that... - Not finished.
都是因为你 It is because of you
害得我有了犯罪记录 that I now have a criminal record,
还因为你 害得我 and it is because of you that I missed out
错过了和斯坦·李共进意式冰淇淋 on having gelato with Stan Lee.
-好吧 也许以后还有机会... -不可能了 - Okay, maybe you'll have another chance to have... - No, no.
再也没有这种机会了 I will never have another chance to have gelato with Stan Lee
因为和斯坦·李一起共进意式冰淇淋的机会 because opportunities to have
一生只有一次 gelato with Stan Lee come but once in a lifetime.
手起笔落 The Moving Finger writes,
白纸黑字再难改[出自《鲁拜集》] and having writ, moves on
他刚是朝我竖中指了吗 Did he just somehow give me the finger?
可不只是手指 Not just the finger.
还挥起了小手 The moving finger.
你好 斯图尔特 Hey Stuart.
你好 佩妮 Oh hey Penny.
-怎么了 -没什么 - What's going on? - Nothing.
我正准备打烊 然后出发 I'm just getting ready to close up and... head out.
真好 晚上有安排 Cool. Got any fun plans?
对 今晚有重大安排 Oh yeah. Big night tonight.
跟只猫一起共享金枪鱼罐头 Gonna share a can of tuna with the cat.
真好 Oh nice.
那甚至不是我的猫 Not even my cat.
我就喂喂它 I just feed it.
有几晚它甚至都不会出现 Some nights it doesn't even show up.
好吧 Oh okay.
我希望 你能帮我个忙 Well I was hoping you could do me a favor.
义不容辞 说吧 Sure yeah name it.
这次谢尔顿没见上斯坦·李 我得负一定责任 Well I'm kind of responsible for Sheldon missing Stan Lee
我真的很想弥补他 and I really want to make it up to him.
所以希望你能给我他的电话 So I was hoping you could give me his phone number
也许我能安排他们见个面 so maybe I can arrange for them to meet.
抱歉 我没他电话 Oh I'm sorry I don't have his phone number.
该死 Damn.
好吧 谢了 All right. Thank you.
等等 Wait.
我有他地址 I have his address.
真的 Really?
太好了 Great!
但不能告诉你 But I can't give it to you.
那你为什么要提这茬 Then why did you tell me you had it?
我不知道 这不聊天嘛 I don't know. Just chatting.
别这样看着我 You're looking at a guy
我已经可怜到 连流浪猫 都可能放我鸽子 who could very well get stood up by a stray cat tonight.
抱歉 斯图尔特 I'm sorry Stuart.
不管怎样 谢了 Thanks anyway.
等等 Wait.
怎么了 Yeah?
不如我们做笔交易 Maybe we can make a deal.
什么交易 What kind of deal?
我告诉你地址 I will give you the address
你就陪我去参加我表妹的婚礼 if you go to my cousin's wedding with me.
你这是在逼我跟你约会 You're extorting a date out of me?
我没其他办法 I kind of have to.
这次要结婚的这个表妹 The cousin who's getting married
就是以前经常陪我参加别人婚礼的那个 is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.
我能带上莱纳德吗 Can I bring Leonard?
当然 随便吧 Sure. What the hell.
成交 Deal.
告诉别人他是你表哥就行 We'll tell people he's your cousin.
这是斯坦·李家的大门 This is Stan Lee's front door.
越过斯坦·李家马路牙子 We were on Stan Lee's curb
走过斯坦·李经常走过的路 then we were on Stan Lee's walk
终于来到了斯坦·李家大门外 and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.
对 Yup.
天哪 你按了斯坦·李家门铃 Oh Lord you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell.
就站在斯坦·李家门外 At Stan Lee's house.
我们就要进去 跟斯坦·李共享牛奶和点心 We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.
亲爱的 我不确定他是否会招待我们点心 Okay sweetie I don't know if we're gonna have cookies
还是直接问候了事 or he's just gonna say hi
还是会怎么着 所以让我来跟他谈... or really what's gonna happen so just let me talk and...
哪位 Yeah?
你就是斯坦·李吗 Are you Stan Lee?
见鬼 Oh damn.
你好 我叫佩妮 这位是我朋友谢尔顿 Hi. I'm Penny. This is my friend Sheldon.
她现在不是我朋友 We're not friends at the moment.
鉴于此刻形势 Depends on how this goes.
好吧 总之 Right right. Anyway
谢尔顿是您的超级粉丝 他原打算 Sheldon here is a huge fan of yours and he was supposed
那天去漫画书店参加您的签名会 to meet you the other day at the comic book store
可惜最后进了监狱 but he kind of ended up in jail.
了解 你们真以为 I see. And you thought
这样不请自来 就能随便敲我家门 you'd just come over to my house uninvited?
你说过我们是受邀来的 You said we were invited.
不不 我只说我邀请你 Oh no no I said I'm inviting you
跟我一起去斯坦·李家 to come with me to Stan Lee's house.
你们这些自称粉丝的 真是不可思议 You know you fan boys are unbelievable.
真以为只要自己高兴 随时都能按我家门铃 Do you think you can just ring my doorbell any time you want?
既然这样 干嘛不索性进门来 I mean why don't you just come on in
跟我一起看湖人队比赛好了 and watch the Lakers game with me?
我不是很爱好体育 Well I'm not much of a sports fan
不过感谢邀请 but thank you.
我很抱歉 他不是很懂什么叫讽刺 I'm sorry. He doesn't really understand sarcasm.
好吧 我动点真格的 他就会懂了 Well I'll give him something he'll understand.
琼妮 快报警 Joanie call the police!
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
《神奇四侠》 《夜魔侠》 《无敌钢铁超人》 Fantastic Four Daredevil invincible Iron Man
（分别为《钢铁侠》《蜘蛛侠》中角色）
快乐霍根 蜥蜴博士 Happy Hogan Curt Connors...
你能不能消停会 Would you just let it go?
（Fin Fang Foom是《钢铁侠》中一条龙的形象）
还有最糟糕的 非凡龙 And worst of all Fin Fang Foom.
你去哪了 Hey where've you been?
我告诉你们我去哪了 I'll tell you where I've been.
你们或许跟斯坦·李一起吃了冰激凌 You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee
还得了他亲笔签名的漫画 and gotten autographed comics
我可是亲自进了他家 but I saw the inside of his house
还得到了他亲笔签名的禁制令申请状 and got an autographed application for a restraining order.
赞 Sweet.
还有 等听证会时 我还能再见到他 Plus I get to hang out with him again at the hearing.
挂在我那伦纳德·尼莫伊(史波克扮演者)签名的禁制令旁 This is going to look great hanging next
那一定会非常酷 to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.