1
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,216
Morning, Gordon.

2
00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:17,133
Nice day, huh?

3
00:01:26,247 --> 00:01:29,296
Hurry up, Bucky. Jeez, slow poke.

4
00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:32,295
I'm going as fast as I can, Clint.
No fooling.

5
00:01:32,447 --> 00:01:34,734
I see you're trying
the Cool Ranch Doritos today.

6
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:39,372
You spoke so highly of them,
I figured I'd give them a whirl.

7
00:01:39,527 --> 00:01:42,531
They should be their own food group.
No fooling, they're that good.

8
00:01:42,687 --> 00:01:44,815
Tell her your life story,
why don't you?

9
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:47,573
No, I was just commenting
on the Doritos.

10
00:01:47,727 --> 00:01:48,967
Are you sassing me?

11
00:01:49,447 --> 00:01:50,573
No, no, he was just--

12
00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:53,936
He don't need a lawyer,
Mrs. Bozobop.

13
00:01:54,087 --> 00:01:56,328
Come on. Let's get on.

14
00:01:56,487 --> 00:02:00,173
The way we've been meaning to get on
ever since you started bagging here.

15
00:02:04,247 --> 00:02:06,090
You hit me in the eye!

16
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,536
What? No, Clint, you hit yourself.
I saw you.

17
00:02:10,687 --> 00:02:11,893
You've gone Ioony.

18
00:02:12,047 --> 00:02:14,015
You get out of here. You're fired.

19
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,932
- Fired?
- Yeah. Go on!

20
00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:25,655
I'm so sorry I got you in trouble,
Bucky.

21
00:02:25,807 --> 00:02:28,651
I shouldn't have distracted you
from your job.

22
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:32,376
Mrs. Bozobop,
this has nothing to do with you.

23
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,656
It is an honour
to have you as my last bag.

24
00:02:37,047 --> 00:02:40,130
And I meant what I said about
the Cool Ranch. They're so good....

25
00:02:40,887 --> 00:02:42,730
Oh, listen to me, Bucky.

26
00:02:43,847 --> 00:02:46,453
Don't let these people
get you down.

27
00:02:46,607 --> 00:02:48,974
I can feel it in my bones.

28
00:02:49,527 --> 00:02:51,848
You're destined for greatness.

29
00:03:06,247 --> 00:03:08,011
Oh, jeez, Bucky.

30
00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:11,376
I haven't seen you this down
since they cancelled Jericho.

31
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:15,687
You know,
that Clint guy is just a little off.

32
00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:20,289
I was repairing the soles of his loafers,
and I'm not Lying...

33
00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:21,687
...he's got six toes.

34
00:03:22,887 --> 00:03:25,333
- Now, get right out of town.
- No joke.

35
00:03:25,487 --> 00:03:28,616
No. I saw the outline
right there in the shoe.

36
00:03:29,647 --> 00:03:32,014
I think his dad
was some sort of an amphibian.

37
00:03:37,287 --> 00:03:39,972
Jeremiah, shame on you!

38
00:03:40,127 --> 00:03:42,733
Pop, you had me going
real good there.

39
00:03:44,327 --> 00:03:47,171
- He sure did.
- See, you're feeling better already, hon.

40
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:48,738
I bet it's that new haircut.

41
00:03:48,887 --> 00:03:51,538
I've been getting a lot
of compliments on it. Thanks, Mom.

42
00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:54,338
Oh, don't thank me. Thank the bowl.

43
00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:56,649
Mrs. Bozobop said
I look like Brad Pitt.

44
00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:59,378
Yeah, you do look like
kind of the Legends of the Fall...

45
00:03:59,527 --> 00:04:01,734
...with the hair working there.

46
00:04:01,887 --> 00:04:04,015
What do you say we adjourn
to the living room...

47
00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:06,329
- ...and play some Yahtzee?
- That's a good idea.

48
00:04:06,487 --> 00:04:07,977
Oh, actually....

49
00:04:08,127 --> 00:04:10,858
Mom, I'm gonna go over
to Dale's tonight.

50
00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,898
Okay, I just thought
you loved the Yahtz.

51
00:04:15,047 --> 00:04:17,288
I do. It's just Rory said
they've got some movie...

52
00:04:17,447 --> 00:04:19,176
...that will turn my frown
upside down.

53
00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,730
Yeah, you know, it's good
to have friends when times are tough.

54
00:04:22,887 --> 00:04:24,696
I want you to wear
your bright sneakers...

55
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,656
...so the cars can see you.

56
00:04:26,807 --> 00:04:29,048
Already on, Pop.

57
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,171
Look at him dancing. Like a rapper.

58
00:04:53,607 --> 00:04:55,689
Here he comes.
We gotta cheer him up.

59
00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:58,327
- Hi, Buck.
- Hey, what's the word, Big Bird?

60
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:01,056
Hey, Dale, what is that,
a robot head?

61
00:05:01,207 --> 00:05:02,538
I wish.

62
00:05:02,687 --> 00:05:05,896
It's my parents' old projector.
We used to watch home movies on it.

63
00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:10,018
But tonight, we're gonna use it
to watch nude movies.

64
00:05:11,487 --> 00:05:13,535
- Nude?
- A skin-filmer.

65
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,611
One of those movies
you can play with your business to.

66
00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:19,213
Play with your busi....
Business what?

67
00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:20,607
Don't you twang your wang?

68
00:05:21,047 --> 00:05:24,176
If that means washing my ween,
then yeah, it's an every-dayer.

69
00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:27,690
You know, "Up, down, all around,
do it again if I see some brown."

70
00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:31,331
No, it means rubbing
your skin flute...

71
00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:35,048
...after it gets stiff
from seeing a pair of love balloons.

72
00:05:37,167 --> 00:05:38,737
Nope. Can't say I've done that.

73
00:05:38,887 --> 00:05:41,254
- You are fibbing!
- No way!

74
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,411
Jeez, Bucky, I build my day
around the whack.

75
00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:47,298
I get in a breakfast flapjack,
a nooner...

76
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:51,338
...an after-lunch, pre-nap slap,
a post-work, traffic-jam slam...

77
00:05:51,487 --> 00:05:54,138
...a pre-dinner spinner,
an after-dinner dink...

78
00:05:54,287 --> 00:05:55,527
...a dog-walk leash-pull...

79
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:58,258
...and then I round it out
with a midnight snack-whack...

80
00:05:58,407 --> 00:05:59,852
...if my folks are asleep.

81
00:06:00,007 --> 00:06:01,850
Sometimes I do it
at the dinner table.

82
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:04,931
I'm not gonna lie, Bucky.
I've been choking the bald man...

83
00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:08,011
...the whole time Lars was telling you
his pud-pulling schedule.

84
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:11,415
Pocket patty-cake!

85
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,538
Jeez. You guys spend
a lot of time on this.

86
00:06:15,687 --> 00:06:16,768
Is it really that fun?

87
00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:18,497
Better than "Donkey Kong."

88
00:06:18,647 --> 00:06:20,251
Now, get right out of town.

89
00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:24,488
Okay.

90
00:06:24,647 --> 00:06:26,888
So how do you do it, this....
What is it, whacking?

91
00:06:27,047 --> 00:06:29,778
It's a breeze. We'll walk you
through it, step by step.

92
00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:32,498
We'll even kill the lights,
So you can have your privacy.

93
00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:35,571
But you know what? We'll put on
the old Billy Squier black light...

94
00:06:35,727 --> 00:06:37,138
...so you can see your business.

95
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:41,773
Jeez, guys, thanks a lot
for helping me out here.

96
00:06:41,927 --> 00:06:44,976
Hey, we wouldn't be your friends
if we didn't.

97
00:06:45,127 --> 00:06:47,812
Now, jump in the big bean.

98
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,128
All right.

99
00:06:57,447 --> 00:07:00,417
Now you're gonna see
some sexy stuff in the movie.

100
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:03,650
Stuff that's gonna inflate
your fun-tool.

101
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,169
Like hot-buttered yaboes.

102
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,295
I got a feeling
this is gonna be a doozy.

103
00:07:09,447 --> 00:07:11,529
So pop a button
and go ankles on your trousers.

104
00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:13,416
You're gonna wanna
be ready, Bucky.

105
00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:18,133
We should put down a tarp.

106
00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:20,335
Could be a flood when he blows.

107
00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:23,049
Just finished baling the hay.

108
00:07:23,207 --> 00:07:25,369
Need me to put the pitchfork
anywhere else?

109
00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:27,052
How's it going up there, Bucky?

110
00:07:27,207 --> 00:07:29,608
Not sure. I'm catching some air
off my wrinkle-bag.

111
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:32,498
- Is that what we're looking for?
- One hundred percent, Bucky.

112
00:07:32,647 --> 00:07:34,729
That's called liftoff.

113
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,651
Okay.

114
00:07:38,447 --> 00:07:41,496
Bucky, grab your joystick.
The game's about to begin.

115
00:07:41,647 --> 00:07:44,412
- Okay, one hand or two?
- No, just the one.

116
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:45,807
Keep your other hand free...

117
00:07:45,967 --> 00:07:47,776
...in case you wanna tap
on your dirt button.

118
00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:49,577
Okay.

119
00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:52,298
Forget your dirt button!
Just ice-pick it, Bucky!

120
00:07:52,447 --> 00:07:54,097
Grab at it and really go to town!

121
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,373
Up and down, like a pogo stick!

122
00:08:03,887 --> 00:08:06,538
Am I doing It now? Am I a whacker?

123
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,291
You're a whacking machine!

124
00:08:11,687 --> 00:08:13,610
Is that who I think it is?

125
00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:16,176
How does that feel?

126
00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,250
You know,
that's got a real kick to it, hon.

127
00:08:18,407 --> 00:08:20,375
Just like a donkey.

128
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:26,374
That's your folks.

129
00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:27,972
One hundred percent.

130
00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:29,617
By golly.

131
00:08:29,767 --> 00:08:31,132
Oh, my!

132
00:08:31,287 --> 00:08:33,449
Jeez, that's weird.

133
00:08:39,167 --> 00:08:41,613
That's my folks.

134
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:44,338
On the big screen.

135
00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:47,058
I think that's pretty dang cool,
Bucky.

136
00:08:51,727 --> 00:08:52,728
Hi, Buck.

137
00:08:52,887 --> 00:08:54,935
I knew you couldn't resist
the Yahtzee.

138
00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:58,091
So you finished the movie already?

139
00:09:01,447 --> 00:09:03,529
I bet acting is fun.

140
00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:09,938
But it's gotta be weird
having a camera pointed at you...

141
00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:11,930
...don't you think, Pop?

142
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:15,095
Probably not that weird.

143
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:18,616
I bet you couldn't do it.

144
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,337
Oh, I bet you I could.

145
00:09:21,047 --> 00:09:22,458
I bet you couldn't...

146
00:09:22,607 --> 00:09:24,097
...if you're nude!

147
00:09:24,967 --> 00:09:27,971
Jim Spraysium and Rosie Bush!

148
00:09:32,647 --> 00:09:34,570
How'd you know about that?

149
00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,411
I saw it.

150
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,888
I didn't even know
you were a farmer, Pop.

151
00:09:40,287 --> 00:09:42,893
We were gonna tell you
on your 50th birthday...

152
00:09:43,047 --> 00:09:45,288
...but I guess
you stumbled on it early.

153
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:47,449
- You made all of these?
- Sure did.

154
00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:51,134
- Eighty-six, to be exact.
- Jeez. I mean....

155
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:52,777
How the heck did you get into it?

156
00:09:53,447 --> 00:09:54,494
Well...

157
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:57,776
...one day, your mother says,
"I wanna see the ocean."

158
00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:02,615
Sol rented a van and, well,
we went out there to California.

159
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:05,088
Anyway, we're taking a walk
on the beach.

160
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,297
So we threw down a beach towel...

161
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:10,178
...and we start a pretty mean session
of kissy-face.

162
00:10:10,967 --> 00:10:13,891
And then, out of nowhere,
an older gentleman comes up...

163
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,288
...and says
we look good smooching.

164
00:10:16,447 --> 00:10:19,018
And he said he made movies
about people doing the stuff...

165
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,817
- ...that we were doing.
- Yeah...

166
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:24,414
...and he said that we had
a natural look and technique.

167
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:26,410
He said it was our destiny.

168
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:31,691
When someone says
it's your destiny, you listen up.

169
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,735
Old Mrs. Bozobop said
I had a destiny earlier.

170
00:10:37,607 --> 00:10:40,975
Well, sure you do.
Everybody does, Bucky.

171
00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:42,253
Yeah, but this is it.

172
00:10:43,407 --> 00:10:44,932
What's it?

173
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:47,089
This is why I was fired.

174
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,533
This is my destiny.

175
00:10:48,687 --> 00:10:50,530
I was born to be a star.

176
00:10:50,887 --> 00:10:53,493
Oh, I don't know about that, Bucky.

177
00:10:53,647 --> 00:10:55,968
I mean, it's not an easy life.

178
00:10:56,127 --> 00:10:59,529
It's filled with long days
and lots of chafing.

179
00:11:00,167 --> 00:11:02,488
I ain't afraid of chafing.
I ain't afraid of nothing.

180
00:11:02,647 --> 00:11:05,935
I'm gonna go to California and I'm
gonna be a star on the silver screen.

181
00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:07,612
I'm the son of two movie stars.

182
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:11,772
That's like a super-duper
movie star.

183
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:15,091
- Buck!
- No. Let him go, dear.

184
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:23,090
I love you so much. I'm gonna call you
right when I get there, I promise.

185
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,692
- You better.
- All right.

186
00:11:24,847 --> 00:11:26,258
- All right, son.
- Bye.

187
00:11:29,287 --> 00:11:31,415
There goes our boy, Jeremiah.

188
00:11:31,567 --> 00:11:32,807
Give them heck, son!

189
00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:52,049
No way.

190
00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:55,051
Pop.

191
00:12:23,047 --> 00:12:25,095
- Take care.
- Be safe, Bucky.

192
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:28,856
Bye, Piggies.

193
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,568
Hey, how are you?

194
00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:17,537
We don't sell kiddie porn, man.

195
00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:19,935
Oh, I'm allergic to cats.

196
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:26,257
Self-service, pal. Don't see
what you want, just do some laps...

197
00:13:26,407 --> 00:13:30,093
- ...until something gives you a boner.
- No, I don't wanna buy a movie.

198
00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:33,376
I wanna be in one. Let's go.

199
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,294
We just sell the porn.

200
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,973
If you wanna make it,
you have to go to the Valley.

201
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:39,538
No way.

202
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,451
Is that far?

203
00:13:41,607 --> 00:13:44,497
We just-- The bus went through
a valley in Colorado. Was that it?

204
00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:46,456
- Did I miss it?
- No.

205
00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:48,450
Just go over the hill.

206
00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:49,893
Take Laurel Canyon.

207
00:13:50,047 --> 00:13:51,492
All right, good. Thanks.

208
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:52,978
How are you doing?

209
00:13:53,127 --> 00:13:54,731
All right. It's hot out.

210
00:13:55,287 --> 00:13:57,608
Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth!

211
00:13:57,767 --> 00:14:01,294
Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth!

212
00:14:03,167 --> 00:14:04,657
Hi, how are you?

213
00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:09,772
Yeah, good day.
Yeah, good day to you. All right.

214
00:14:11,687 --> 00:14:12,973
Hi, all right.

215
00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:46,256
Hey, what's your soup today?

216
00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:50,651
Split pea with rice and broccoli.

217
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,969
That sounds good.
I'll have a bowl of that.

218
00:14:54,047 --> 00:14:55,458
And some braces?

219
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:59,932
And maybe a haircut?
And a new shirt? God.

220
00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:02,058
Kathy, I'm going on break.

221
00:15:02,207 --> 00:15:04,892
Bring a bowl of soup
to Bugs Bunny at the counter.

222
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,768
Marge, you just went on break.

223
00:15:11,527 --> 00:15:13,928
I'll get that soup over to you
right away.

224
00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,618
My name's Kathy, by the way...

225
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:23,134
...so if you need anything,
just holler.

226
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,614
Okay. I'm Hucky.
Boiler at me if you need spazzing.

227
00:15:28,847 --> 00:15:30,212
Okay.

228
00:15:39,847 --> 00:15:41,451
I need you to clean up
the bathrooms.

229
00:15:42,087 --> 00:15:44,169
Oh, it's Marge's night
to clean the bathrooms.

230
00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:45,374
Marge had to leave sick.

231
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:46,972
Why are you being so difficult?

232
00:15:47,127 --> 00:15:48,492
Marge has a hard life.

233
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,529
Marge has got hairy ears
just like a tarantula.

234
00:15:51,687 --> 00:15:53,257
And she's ugly as shit.

235
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,013
Show some compassion,
would you?

236
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,976
Okay.

237
00:16:00,007 --> 00:16:02,374
I didn't know we had rats over here.

238
00:16:04,887 --> 00:16:08,175
Do you want me to clean
the bathrooms for you? I can.

239
00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:10,853
No, it's sweet of you to offer,
but I can do it.

240
00:16:11,807 --> 00:16:13,696
All right. Let me know.

241
00:16:14,127 --> 00:16:15,538
I love that accent.

242
00:16:15,687 --> 00:16:19,089
- Are you from the Midwest?
- Yeah! Iowa.

243
00:16:19,247 --> 00:16:21,249
Good guess.

244
00:16:21,807 --> 00:16:23,047
Are you here on vacation...

245
00:16:23,207 --> 00:16:25,289
...or did you come here
to become a movie star?

246
00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:27,017
A movie star.

247
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:28,453
Do you have mind powers?

248
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,929
No, just root-beer-float powers.

249
00:16:38,887 --> 00:16:40,048
Hey

250
00:16:41,287 --> 00:16:43,608
- I have a question.
- Okay.

251
00:16:44,327 --> 00:16:46,091
Are there any stars here?

252
00:16:46,247 --> 00:16:48,978
Because it says
"Tony's Famous Diner" on the sign...

253
00:16:49,127 --> 00:16:51,733
...but I haven't recognised anyone.

254
00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:55,168
Yeah. Play it cool.

255
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,610
I'm not supposed to say this...

256
00:16:57,767 --> 00:17:00,168
...but the guy behind you,
on your left...

257
00:17:01,447 --> 00:17:03,688
...was Chewbacca in Star Wars.

258
00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:06,976
- What? He was Chewbacca?
- Yes.

259
00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:09,289
I love Star Wars.

260
00:17:09,687 --> 00:17:12,167
- On my left?
- Yeah.

261
00:17:27,287 --> 00:17:30,097
Oh, my God. He looks just like him.

262
00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:18,255
Midwest,
what are you doing in there?

263
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:21,570
Munching on this chocolate Frisbee,
doing some Mad Libs.

264
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,297
I see that.

265
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:25,609
Why are you doing it in the bushes?

266
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,008
I actually thought I'd setup camp
in here tonight.

267
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:29,373
It's actually kind of warm.

268
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,134
You don't have any place to stay?

269
00:18:33,287 --> 00:18:36,336
No. I just got to town,
so I don't really know anybody yet.

270
00:18:36,487 --> 00:18:39,696
But it's fine. I was a Cub Scout,
so I can make do.

271
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:42,770
Bucky, get out of the bushes.

272
00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:45,134
Come on,
it's not a nice neighbourhood.

273
00:18:46,087 --> 00:18:49,296
There's a guy at my apartment building
who's been looking for a roommate.

274
00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:51,415
Let's go see
if the room's still available.

275
00:18:51,567 --> 00:18:55,333
And, you know, if not,
we've got much nicer bushes.

276
00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:57,296
All right, sounds like a plan.

277
00:18:58,527 --> 00:19:00,211
So you live here your whole life?

278
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:03,769
No, I grew up in New Jersey.
I moved here after high school.

279
00:19:03,927 --> 00:19:05,338
You went to high school?

280
00:19:05,487 --> 00:19:09,014
- Yeah, you didn't go?
- No, my town didn't have one.

281
00:19:10,487 --> 00:19:13,889
So, what kind of movies
you wanna do? Comedy, drama?

282
00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:15,378
Nude.

283
00:19:15,927 --> 00:19:17,611
So comedy.

284
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,176
No, full-on nude. My folks did it.

285
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:21,738
Cross my heart.

286
00:19:22,487 --> 00:19:24,569
Well, that's awesome. Awesome.

287
00:19:24,727 --> 00:19:25,933
- Thanks.
- Here we are.

288
00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,532
Home, sweet home.

289
00:19:27,687 --> 00:19:29,257
Your bushes are super nice.

290
00:19:29,407 --> 00:19:30,897
Yeah, they're nice.

291
00:19:31,047 --> 00:19:34,210
I hope he's still awake.
It is kind of late.

292
00:19:37,687 --> 00:19:39,689
Hey, Gary, I'm sorry to bother you.

293
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,929
I wanted to see
if you have that room for rent.

294
00:19:42,087 --> 00:19:43,498
So are we gonna do this or not?

295
00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:45,697
Yeah. Yeah.

296
00:19:45,847 --> 00:19:49,454
Well, you can tell him
that Gary said to eat my shit.

297
00:19:49,847 --> 00:19:51,212
Yeah, totally.

298
00:19:51,367 --> 00:19:53,131
You wanna move your stuff
in tonight?

299
00:19:53,287 --> 00:19:54,891
No. No, it's not for me.

300
00:19:55,047 --> 00:19:57,448
It's for my friend Bucky here.
I'm still up In 44.

301
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,176
How are you doing? Bucky Larson.

302
00:20:00,327 --> 00:20:01,613
What line of work are you in?

303
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,929
I'm here to be a movie star.

304
00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:07,455
My last roommate came here to be a
rock star then skipped town, that fuck.

305
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,132
Owes me three months rent.

306
00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:11,051
Fuck you, John Mayer.

307
00:20:11,207 --> 00:20:13,938
Wait, no. I got the dough.
I'm good for it.

308
00:20:15,727 --> 00:20:19,174
- Can you excuse us for a minute?
- Yeah, sure.

309
00:20:19,887 --> 00:20:22,174
And don't leave.
I'd like to say goodbye.

310
00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:24,331
Okay.

311
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,369
Look, I don't know you
and I don't know Kathy.

312
00:20:29,527 --> 00:20:31,655
I've seen her in the laundry room
a few times...

313
00:20:31,807 --> 00:20:34,378
...but that doesn't mean I trust her.
I trust her tits.

314
00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:36,937
Okay.

315
00:20:37,247 --> 00:20:39,898
I'm gonna let you have the room
because I know you got cash.

316
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:43,210
And I know I could pound
those woodcutters down your throat.

317
00:20:44,127 --> 00:20:45,731
Why are you being weird
about that?

318
00:20:45,887 --> 00:20:48,652
- I'm not. It's fine. Whatever you want.
- Yeah, no fucking shit.

319
00:20:49,927 --> 00:20:51,770
You can have the bathroom
off the hallway.

320
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:54,373
Don't use the one in my room.
That's my sanctuary.

321
00:20:54,527 --> 00:20:56,894
- Roommates?
- Yeah, roommates.

322
00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:02,373
- Good.
- Great seeing you again, Kathy...

323
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:05,451
...and if you ever wanna hang out
by the pool, let me know.

324
00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:07,052
Okay.

325
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:10,212
- Good night, Bucky.
- Good night, Kathy.

326
00:21:37,607 --> 00:21:39,132
All right.

327
00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,093
I could do this all day, bird...

328
00:21:57,247 --> 00:21:59,648
...but I gotta go and take this town
by the antlers.

329
00:22:04,327 --> 00:22:05,613
What the fuck?

330
00:22:05,767 --> 00:22:07,690
- I'm sorry.
- Shut the door!

331
00:22:07,847 --> 00:22:09,417
You said this was my bathroom.

332
00:22:09,567 --> 00:22:10,978
It is! But I shit here!

333
00:22:11,127 --> 00:22:13,368
I can't shit where I shower!
Shut the fucking door!

334
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:14,972
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

335
00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:17,448
You better not be a psycho!

336
00:22:20,327 --> 00:22:23,058
Sorry. We got a new intern
out here at our office.

337
00:22:29,287 --> 00:22:30,732
Bucky.

338
00:22:30,887 --> 00:22:33,697
Why are you brushing your teeth
in the pool?

339
00:22:34,927 --> 00:22:36,497
There's a problem
with my bathroom.

340
00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:38,649
There's gonna be a problem
in your stomach...

341
00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:40,889
...if you keep using that water.

342
00:22:47,207 --> 00:22:49,448
- Thanks for the warning.
- Yeah.

343
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:52,813
I'm off to work.
Good luck being nude today.

344
00:22:52,967 --> 00:22:54,571
Okay. Say hi to Chewbacca.

345
00:22:54,727 --> 00:22:56,729
Okay.

346
00:23:02,887 --> 00:23:05,891
Free snake? No, thanks.

347
00:23:09,007 --> 00:23:12,807
"Actors wanted.
Open call audition."

348
00:23:18,127 --> 00:23:19,208
Bucky Larson.

349
00:23:29,527 --> 00:23:31,814
This is Bucky Larson.

350
00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:36,576
Do you have a headshot?

351
00:23:38,247 --> 00:23:39,851
Like a shot of my head or what?

352
00:23:40,567 --> 00:23:42,456
Yeah.

353
00:23:44,007 --> 00:23:45,930
Yeah, wait.

354
00:23:48,007 --> 00:23:49,293
I got a picture here of me.

355
00:23:49,447 --> 00:23:52,371
That's me on the left. You can just
fold it and get the head part.

356
00:23:53,727 --> 00:23:55,217
Your accent's awesome, man.

357
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:57,654
I like the Midwest choice.
And that vest is amazing.

358
00:23:57,807 --> 00:23:59,650
Oh, thanks.
My mom made it for me.

359
00:24:02,647 --> 00:24:04,331
This isn't a proper headshot.

360
00:24:04,487 --> 00:24:07,297
Who cares?
Come on, this guy's great.

361
00:24:07,447 --> 00:24:08,608
Don't be such a buzz-kill.

362
00:24:08,767 --> 00:24:10,849
Are you familiar with Redondi
Mac and Cheese?

363
00:24:11,007 --> 00:24:12,611
Oh, Yeah. That's my favourite.

364
00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:15,054
My mom makes it every Tuesday
for Boggle night.

365
00:24:15,207 --> 00:24:16,288
I love your slogan.

366
00:24:16,447 --> 00:24:18,495
Eat Redondi
Fill your belly

367
00:24:18,647 --> 00:24:20,251
Monday through Sunday

368
00:24:20,407 --> 00:24:23,968
That's perfect. My name is Claudio
and I'll be directing this commercial.

369
00:24:24,127 --> 00:24:25,367
We're gonna put you on tape.

370
00:24:25,527 --> 00:24:27,928
- Did you get to peep the script?
- Peep?

371
00:24:30,047 --> 00:24:31,128
Peep?

372
00:24:31,287 --> 00:24:33,733
Screw it. We'll do a cold read.
You're a pro.

373
00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:36,173
Owen, press record.

374
00:24:36,967 --> 00:24:38,378
And Bucky, go for it.

375
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:40,211
Okay.

376
00:24:44,087 --> 00:24:46,533
- Holy shit!
- Fuck, man, what are you doing?

377
00:24:46,687 --> 00:24:48,212
No, no, no!

378
00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:49,448
Did I whack it right?

379
00:24:49,607 --> 00:24:51,609
- Stop the camera! Stop it!
- Oh, my God.

380
00:24:51,767 --> 00:24:53,417
Oh, my God, he's going for his butt!

381
00:24:56,167 --> 00:24:58,568
- Get out of here, you pervert!
- Get the fuck out!

382
00:24:58,727 --> 00:25:00,491
Did I get the part?

383
00:25:06,327 --> 00:25:07,692
Hey.

384
00:25:07,847 --> 00:25:11,010
Hey, man. Pull your pants up.

385
00:25:11,167 --> 00:25:12,817
What the fuck is your problem?

386
00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:16,130
I don't know. I was doing what the guys
in the neighbourhood told me to.

387
00:25:16,287 --> 00:25:18,415
So this is a dare,
some YouTube bullshit?

388
00:25:18,567 --> 00:25:21,411
No. I wanna be a movie star,
like my folks.

389
00:25:21,567 --> 00:25:23,569
They were on camera
and they were nude.

390
00:25:23,727 --> 00:25:25,650
And they helped people.

391
00:25:25,807 --> 00:25:29,368
- Who the hell were your parents?
- Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium.

392
00:25:29,527 --> 00:25:31,211
The porn stars from the '70s?

393
00:25:31,367 --> 00:25:33,415
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, for sure.

394
00:25:33,567 --> 00:25:35,331
Look at the picture.

395
00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:37,452
Holy shit, that is them.

396
00:25:38,487 --> 00:25:39,534
Rosie Bush.

397
00:25:39,687 --> 00:25:41,928
Damn, her bush sure was rosy.

398
00:25:42,087 --> 00:25:44,533
That explains it, how you got
that thick Midwest accent.

399
00:25:44,687 --> 00:25:46,052
I don't have an accent.

400
00:25:47,767 --> 00:25:50,054
So you seriously wanna do porn?

401
00:25:50,207 --> 00:25:52,972
You can't whip your dick out
at mac-and-cheese commercials.

402
00:25:53,127 --> 00:25:54,652
You'll go to jail.

403
00:25:54,807 --> 00:25:55,968
I don't wanna go to jail.

404
00:25:58,207 --> 00:26:00,494
When I started out,
I used to direct some porno.

405
00:26:00,647 --> 00:26:03,218
A lot of directors do it.
There's nothing weird about it.

406
00:26:03,367 --> 00:26:05,608
My boy Dick Shadow's
having a house party tonight.

407
00:26:05,767 --> 00:26:07,769
You can make
a lot of connections there.

408
00:26:07,927 --> 00:26:09,929
People will trip meeting the son
of Rosie and Jim.

409
00:26:10,087 --> 00:26:12,488
- A trip out?
- Do you wanna roll with me?

410
00:26:12,647 --> 00:26:14,411
Yeah, I'll roll with you.

411
00:26:14,647 --> 00:26:16,331
Actually,
I'm glad you wanna do porn.

412
00:26:16,487 --> 00:26:19,172
At first, I thought you had some weird
mac-and-cheese fetish.

413
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:21,853
No, I don't use fetish cheese.
I use Velveeta.

414
00:26:23,687 --> 00:26:26,816
Oh, you can't go this way.
They probably called the cops.

415
00:26:30,247 --> 00:26:32,136
I've never ridden
in a convertible before.

416
00:26:32,287 --> 00:26:34,688
This is something else.

417
00:26:34,847 --> 00:26:37,771
Get the full experience, man.
Stand up, feel the breeze.

418
00:26:38,447 --> 00:26:40,927
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, buddy.

419
00:26:53,767 --> 00:26:57,488
Holy cow! That was wild, man.

420
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:03,331
Bucky,
I think you've got bugs in your teeth.

421
00:27:03,487 --> 00:27:05,057
- No.
- You wanna scrape those off...

422
00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:08,256
- ...before you get to the party.
- Oh, it's still moving!

423
00:27:10,927 --> 00:27:14,568
This is the joint, Bucky,
the hardest, horniest party in town.

424
00:27:14,727 --> 00:27:17,458
If you wanna be in the porn world,
you got to know the Shadow.

425
00:27:17,607 --> 00:27:19,177
Shadows are so mysterious.

426
00:27:19,327 --> 00:27:20,533
What's up, Ricky?

427
00:27:20,687 --> 00:27:23,054
- What's up, guys?
- Where are you going, crackhead?

428
00:27:23,207 --> 00:27:25,448
Yo, guys, he's cool. He's with me.

429
00:27:27,487 --> 00:27:29,330
Your hands are like a bear trap.

430
00:27:29,487 --> 00:27:31,694
- Any cameras or weapons?
- No, I don't--

431
00:27:31,847 --> 00:27:33,133
Cool. Don't bite anybody.

432
00:27:35,887 --> 00:27:38,572
Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

433
00:27:38,767 --> 00:27:41,737
- Claudio.
- Hey

434
00:27:44,447 --> 00:27:46,688
Hey, guys. How are you? Having fun?

435
00:27:51,327 --> 00:27:52,408
Sushi?

436
00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:55,855
"Sushi"? Is that with an "S"?

437
00:27:56,007 --> 00:27:58,931
Sushi. All right.

438
00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:01,135
Oh, it smells like--

439
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,249
Do you want some sushi?

440
00:28:33,607 --> 00:28:36,929
No, thank you! No, thank you!

441
00:28:41,687 --> 00:28:44,657
So, Dick Shadow.
Is that a family name?

442
00:28:45,287 --> 00:28:47,130
Because it sounds like a superhero.

443
00:28:49,447 --> 00:28:52,257
Well, in many ways,
I am a superhero.

444
00:28:53,727 --> 00:28:55,968
Yeah, when I was a boy...

445
00:28:56,127 --> 00:28:58,573
...I was 12 or so,
I was playing out in the fields.

446
00:29:00,247 --> 00:29:02,978
The sun was so bright that day.

447
00:29:04,487 --> 00:29:07,058
I was wearing these baggy shorts.

448
00:29:07,207 --> 00:29:08,777
A bee flew up my trousers.

449
00:29:08,927 --> 00:29:10,691
Oh, my God.

450
00:29:10,847 --> 00:29:11,848
Yeah.

451
00:29:12,007 --> 00:29:13,611
Sol panicked, right?

452
00:29:13,767 --> 00:29:16,008
I took off my shorts
as fast as I could.

453
00:29:16,407 --> 00:29:18,409
I stood there naked
from the waist down.

454
00:29:19,127 --> 00:29:20,413
Well, where did the bee go?

455
00:29:21,287 --> 00:29:23,051
Doesn't matter. He flew away.

456
00:29:23,207 --> 00:29:25,255
But as I stood there...

457
00:29:25,407 --> 00:29:29,492
...the wind blowing and the sun
beating down on my manhood...

458
00:29:30,287 --> 00:29:33,211
...I saw a shadow before me.

459
00:29:34,687 --> 00:29:36,337
It was gigantic.

460
00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:40,894
Then I looked over
to the neighbourhood girls.

461
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:42,776
And their mothers.

462
00:29:42,927 --> 00:29:45,407
And they were standing there
in awe of my shadow.

463
00:29:46,607 --> 00:29:49,417
And that's when
Randy Dooley died...

464
00:29:49,607 --> 00:29:52,178
...and Dick Shadow was born.

465
00:29:53,207 --> 00:29:55,972
Nothing grows in my cock shade.

466
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,288
Nothing.

467
00:29:57,927 --> 00:29:59,133
Oh, yeah.

468
00:29:59,287 --> 00:30:00,493
Yeah. Yeah.

469
00:30:01,607 --> 00:30:03,530
Claudio. My man.

470
00:30:03,687 --> 00:30:05,052
Dick Shadow.

471
00:30:05,207 --> 00:30:07,369
Hey.
Ladies, why don't you take a break?

472
00:30:08,167 --> 00:30:09,851
Give me a second
with my buddy here.

473
00:30:10,887 --> 00:30:13,891
There's somebody I want you to meet.
You'll get a kick out of this.

474
00:30:14,047 --> 00:30:16,891
Do you remember
Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium?

475
00:30:17,047 --> 00:30:21,928
Yeah, I think so. Married couple
from the '70s, talked like retards...

476
00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:25,296
- ...never shaved?
- Yeah. This is their son.

477
00:30:25,447 --> 00:30:26,892
He wants to get into porn.

478
00:30:27,047 --> 00:30:28,492
Really?

479
00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:32,058
So, what do you want to do?
You wanna be a lighting guy...

480
00:30:32,207 --> 00:30:33,368
...or a fluffer?

481
00:30:33,527 --> 00:30:35,370
No, a star.

482
00:30:36,647 --> 00:30:38,411
Okay.

483
00:30:38,647 --> 00:30:40,649
Well, let's see what you got.

484
00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,097
Here I go.

485
00:30:43,647 --> 00:30:46,127
I got about two bucks
and some Bazooka Joes.

486
00:30:46,287 --> 00:30:48,016
It's a little warm, but it's chewable.

487
00:30:49,047 --> 00:30:51,175
No, no. Let's see your stuff.

488
00:30:52,087 --> 00:30:55,216
Oh, my-- My stuffs in my apartment.
Was I supposed to bring it?

489
00:30:55,367 --> 00:30:57,369
No, your junk, kid. Whip it out.

490
00:30:57,527 --> 00:31:00,815
Your dick, Bucky. Pull down your
pants. That's what he's talking about.

491
00:31:02,687 --> 00:31:04,974
- Oh, my....
- Yeah.

492
00:31:05,487 --> 00:31:06,932
Yeah.

493
00:31:17,287 --> 00:31:19,335
Very impressive.

494
00:31:19,847 --> 00:31:21,611
This is quite extraordinary, Bucky.

495
00:31:21,767 --> 00:31:24,008
I think you've got quite a future
in this business.

496
00:31:24,487 --> 00:31:26,091
- No.
- Yeah.

497
00:31:26,247 --> 00:31:27,692
Can I borrow him for a minute?

498
00:31:27,847 --> 00:31:29,531
I would just love
to show him around...

499
00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:31,655
...and introduce him
to some people, okay?

500
00:31:31,807 --> 00:31:35,209
Yeah, come on. No, I'm serious.

501
00:31:37,447 --> 00:31:40,257
It's Miles Deep, the director.

502
00:31:40,407 --> 00:31:42,296
How about I direct my dick
in your mouth...

503
00:31:42,447 --> 00:31:44,495
...if you don't get
the fuck out of here?

504
00:31:44,647 --> 00:31:47,048
Look, let me just go in there
for a minute and I can--

505
00:31:47,207 --> 00:31:50,256
Wait. Wait. You son of a bitch.

506
00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:52,491
Party people!

507
00:31:55,807 --> 00:31:58,538
Yeah. Let's stop the music, please.

508
00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:01,618
I've got somebody very important
I want you to meet.

509
00:32:02,247 --> 00:32:05,251
Now I've seen many porn stars
come and go...

510
00:32:05,407 --> 00:32:07,694
...but this guy right here I just met...

511
00:32:07,847 --> 00:32:10,851
...he's gonna be coming
for a very long time.

512
00:32:12,487 --> 00:32:15,855
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I present Bucky Larson?

513
00:32:18,167 --> 00:32:19,328
Hey, how are you?

514
00:32:21,087 --> 00:32:23,693
Drop the pants.
Show them what you got, kid.

515
00:32:23,847 --> 00:32:24,973
All right.

516
00:32:33,607 --> 00:32:36,497
Did I mention he'll be starring
in lesbian porn?

517
00:32:40,927 --> 00:32:42,417
No.

518
00:32:48,247 --> 00:32:49,578
Somebody help him.

519
00:32:49,727 --> 00:32:51,695
I'll save you, little man.

520
00:32:55,447 --> 00:32:57,415
He really pushed you
In the pool like that?

521
00:32:57,567 --> 00:32:58,853
What a jerk.

522
00:32:59,007 --> 00:33:01,214
Maybe he thought
you were a walrus.

523
00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:07,292
Yeah, and I can't swim good
without my water wings, you know.

524
00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:10,532
You know, Dick Shadow's
the biggest star in the nude business.

525
00:33:10,687 --> 00:33:12,735
You know, I mean,
what am I gonna do?

526
00:33:12,887 --> 00:33:16,175
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I've never heard of Dick Shadow...

527
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,409
...but I have heard of Bucky Larson.

528
00:33:21,167 --> 00:33:22,817
Hey, Kathy.

529
00:33:23,367 --> 00:33:25,290
There's a dead cat
in the woman's bathroom.

530
00:33:25,447 --> 00:33:26,892
I need you to put it in my car.

531
00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,612
I can feed it to my snake.

532
00:33:30,647 --> 00:33:32,615
- Okay.
- Stop being difficult.

533
00:33:39,287 --> 00:33:40,573
Excuse me.

534
00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:44,015
Thought I overheard you say
something about the nude business.

535
00:33:44,247 --> 00:33:45,248
Yeah.

536
00:33:45,767 --> 00:33:47,849
Were you at Dick Shadow's party
last night?

537
00:33:48,007 --> 00:33:49,293
Yeah, for a little bit.

538
00:33:49,447 --> 00:33:52,849
- Are you friends with Dick?
- No, not exactly.

539
00:33:53,007 --> 00:33:55,374
- My friend Claudio brought me.
- The director, right?

540
00:33:57,047 --> 00:33:58,936
I'm a director too.

541
00:33:59,367 --> 00:34:02,098
Miles. Miles Deep.

542
00:34:02,247 --> 00:34:05,137
Wow, cool. Pleasure to meet you.
Bucky Larson.

543
00:34:05,287 --> 00:34:07,688
- So did you go to Dick's party too?
- No.

544
00:34:07,847 --> 00:34:11,533
The porn world is full
of fucking degenerates.

545
00:34:11,687 --> 00:34:14,611
My folks aren't degenerates.
They're the sweetest in the world...

546
00:34:14,767 --> 00:34:16,735
...and they were gigantors
in the pornos.

547
00:34:16,887 --> 00:34:18,332
Who were your folks?

548
00:34:18,487 --> 00:34:20,649
Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium.

549
00:34:23,207 --> 00:34:25,608
- Farmer in the Smell?
- Yeah.

550
00:34:25,767 --> 00:34:27,690
I worked on that movie.

551
00:34:27,847 --> 00:34:29,258
Yeah, get right out of a creek.

552
00:34:29,407 --> 00:34:32,172
I was a production assistant.

553
00:34:35,967 --> 00:34:39,858
- Hell, they were the last real originals.
- I'll tell them you said that.

554
00:34:40,807 --> 00:34:43,492
I knew I knew that accent.

555
00:34:44,487 --> 00:34:47,616
Everyone keeps talking about
my accent, but I'm from America.

556
00:34:50,367 --> 00:34:54,417
- Do you want to be on camera?
- Yeah.

557
00:34:55,047 --> 00:34:58,210
I just bought a vintage camera.

558
00:34:58,967 --> 00:35:00,810
Would you like to shoot
something tonight?

559
00:35:03,607 --> 00:35:06,929
Yeah. I think I can do that.

560
00:35:11,647 --> 00:35:13,536
Did you take Social Studies
in fifth grade?

561
00:35:13,687 --> 00:35:15,689
- Yeah, for sure. I got a B.
- Yeah.

562
00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:18,327
- The line by your thumb says B.
- No fooling.

563
00:35:21,247 --> 00:35:25,093
- Is that guy retarded, Miles?
- No, Jimmy, you're retarded.

564
00:35:26,087 --> 00:35:28,533
I told you, his parents were famous.

565
00:35:28,687 --> 00:35:30,735
There may be a nostalgic market
out there.

566
00:35:30,887 --> 00:35:32,889
Bucky, come on over here
and stand by the bar.

567
00:35:33,047 --> 00:35:34,333
Oh, yeah, sure.

568
00:35:38,927 --> 00:35:41,931
Nice, Gretchen. Really sexy.

569
00:35:42,087 --> 00:35:45,375
I knew I'd be good at this.
I was a huge whore in high school.

570
00:35:45,527 --> 00:35:49,054
Okay, and we're rolling.
Iowa, go ahead and step in there.

571
00:35:51,607 --> 00:35:53,609
Get that fucking thing out of there.

572
00:35:53,767 --> 00:35:54,893
Jesus.

573
00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:58,049
Don't look at the camera.

574
00:35:58,207 --> 00:36:01,575
All right, Bucky, go ahead,
lose the shirt. Let's see how you look.

575
00:36:07,687 --> 00:36:10,896
Kill that light.
I got a glare off of Bucky's chest.

576
00:36:13,127 --> 00:36:16,097
Okay, Bucky, let's go ahead,
drop your pants.

577
00:36:16,247 --> 00:36:17,897
Yeah, no problem.

578
00:36:32,887 --> 00:36:37,927
Okay, Gretchen, now would be
a good time to pop out the puppies.

579
00:36:54,367 --> 00:36:55,698
What the fuck just happened?

580
00:36:56,607 --> 00:36:59,292
My brain just sparkled.

581
00:37:00,287 --> 00:37:01,618
Where did that go?

582
00:37:01,767 --> 00:37:04,008
Oh, I see some on the ceiling.

583
00:37:05,287 --> 00:37:07,369
I don't think I have any on me.

584
00:37:22,567 --> 00:37:24,251
Did he just come again?

585
00:37:24,407 --> 00:37:26,887
Yeah. You got it on the lens.

586
00:37:27,367 --> 00:37:29,529
I'm so sorry, Miles.

587
00:37:29,767 --> 00:37:31,769
I have no control, honest.

588
00:37:33,607 --> 00:37:35,052
No worries, kid.

589
00:37:35,207 --> 00:37:38,017
Go ahead, put your clothes back on.

590
00:37:41,047 --> 00:37:42,412
So...

591
00:37:42,887 --> 00:37:44,651
...was it good or bad? How did I do?

592
00:37:46,167 --> 00:37:48,010
It was....

593
00:37:50,207 --> 00:37:51,208
It was.

594
00:37:53,007 --> 00:37:56,807
- Yes.
- Let's wrap it up for today.

595
00:37:56,967 --> 00:37:58,457
Jimmy will give you a ride home.

596
00:37:58,607 --> 00:38:00,496
He's not gonna jizz all over my car,
is he?

597
00:38:00,647 --> 00:38:02,486
Shut the fuck up, Jimmy.

598
00:38:02,487 --> 00:38:02,897


599
00:38:07,847 --> 00:38:09,611
Here you go.

600
00:38:14,807 --> 00:38:15,808
Where's the blue one?

601
00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:19,895
Don't play with me, man.

602
00:38:20,487 --> 00:38:21,613
And the black one.

603
00:38:22,407 --> 00:38:25,854
The black one is what keeps me
from biting your fucking ear off.

604
00:38:27,447 --> 00:38:30,417
It's just my mom said that
you went to rehab a couple times--

605
00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:31,648
Your mom's a slut.

606
00:38:32,327 --> 00:38:33,613
But she's your sister.

607
00:38:33,767 --> 00:38:35,690
Exactly. How do you think I know?

608
00:38:36,127 --> 00:38:39,256
Why are you looking at this footage?
I thought you said it was garbage.

609
00:38:39,407 --> 00:38:42,616
Because I'm looking to see
how the camera looks.

610
00:38:42,767 --> 00:38:45,213
- If that's all right with you, shit stains.
- It's fine.

611
00:38:45,367 --> 00:38:47,131
Thank you.

612
00:38:48,647 --> 00:38:50,695
My God.

613
00:38:51,127 --> 00:38:53,892
This guy has got some piano keys
in his mouth.

614
00:38:54,487 --> 00:38:57,377
Yeah, when he pulled down his pants,
I thought he had a vagina.

615
00:38:57,527 --> 00:39:01,213
Yeah. I had that vagina moment too.

616
00:39:02,687 --> 00:39:06,897
Even though he's hung like a ladybug,
at least he's not afraid to show it.

617
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:10,212
God, I got up too fast.

618
00:39:11,327 --> 00:39:13,375
What do you want me to do
with all the footage?

619
00:39:13,527 --> 00:39:17,293
I don't give a fuck what you do with it.
Put it up your ass.

620
00:39:23,407 --> 00:39:26,172
Gary, I'm so glad
you're finally awake.

621
00:39:26,327 --> 00:39:29,012
I had the craziest night last night.
I shot an actual movie--

622
00:39:29,167 --> 00:39:30,896
Whose cereal is that?

623
00:39:31,367 --> 00:39:32,653
Mine. I bought it yesterday.

624
00:39:32,807 --> 00:39:34,093
Did you buy your own milk?

625
00:39:34,567 --> 00:39:36,649
- No. Can I borrow some?
- Hell, no. Fuck you.

626
00:39:41,607 --> 00:39:43,689
Hey. Hi, Bucky.

627
00:39:43,847 --> 00:39:45,087
Hey, Kathy.

628
00:39:45,247 --> 00:39:47,136
What's up, Kathy?
Would you like some milk?

629
00:39:47,767 --> 00:39:50,532
No, thanks, Gary. Hey, Bucky.
You wanna walk me to work?

630
00:39:50,687 --> 00:39:52,576
Yeah, sure.

631
00:39:53,047 --> 00:39:55,653
- I like walking.
- That's nice, Gary.

632
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:58,097
- Come on.
- I had the craziest night.

633
00:39:58,247 --> 00:39:59,931
Oh, yeah? What happened?

634
00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:03,577
Why don't you walk on my tits,
you big, fucking lesbo?

635
00:40:03,847 --> 00:40:06,532
Hi, Mom. No, I wasn't talking to you.

636
00:40:07,167 --> 00:40:10,649
It was like I dreamed. The lights were
on and the director had a cool camera.

637
00:40:10,807 --> 00:40:13,208
When I pulled down my pants,
I saw colours in my brain.

638
00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,369
Then there was a pop.
And then stuff came out.

639
00:40:15,527 --> 00:40:17,256
There was a pop,
they said, "It was."

640
00:40:17,407 --> 00:40:20,297
They had a weird helmet. They
knew I got a B in Social Studies.

641
00:40:21,527 --> 00:40:23,131
I mean, you've been here two days...

642
00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:25,176
...and your dreams
are already coming true.

643
00:40:25,327 --> 00:40:27,136
- That's incredible.
- Yeah, it's crazy.

644
00:40:27,287 --> 00:40:28,891
I don't know, but I'm babbling.

645
00:40:29,047 --> 00:40:31,095
Enough about me.
I wanna know about you, Kathy.

646
00:40:31,247 --> 00:40:32,737
What are your dreams?

647
00:40:33,607 --> 00:40:36,008
I want to be a waitress.

648
00:40:36,847 --> 00:40:38,895
Your dreams came true.
Why didn't you tell me?

649
00:40:39,047 --> 00:40:41,368
So you know what I'm going through.
Dreams are crazy.

650
00:40:41,527 --> 00:40:45,134
Well, not really.
I mean, the diner's not my dream.

651
00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:47,016
It's my nightmare, actually.

652
00:40:47,167 --> 00:40:50,808
But, you know,
it's where I've been banished.

653
00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:53,010
Yeah, I was going to
mention that earlier.

654
00:40:53,167 --> 00:40:54,771
The people don't seem nice to you...

655
00:40:54,927 --> 00:40:58,090
...and the food
makes my bottom burn.

656
00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:00,178
Why were you banished?

657
00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:02,409
There was an incident, Bucky.

658
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:07,371
- You killed a man?
- No. Not exactly.

659
00:41:07,847 --> 00:41:11,818
When I first moved to L. A.,
I got a job at a five-star restaurant.

660
00:41:12,447 --> 00:41:14,097
You know, it was my dream job.

661
00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:15,976
And on the first day of training...

662
00:41:16,127 --> 00:41:20,496
...I was carrying a tray of soups
for a table of 10.

663
00:41:21,167 --> 00:41:24,011
And it was heavy, you know?
But I toughed it out.

664
00:41:24,167 --> 00:41:26,818
But then, halfway to the table,
my arm gave out...

665
00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:29,777
...and I spilled soup
all over this old lady.

666
00:41:31,687 --> 00:41:33,769
She screamed...

667
00:41:34,007 --> 00:41:35,850
...so loud.

668
00:41:36,847 --> 00:41:40,010
She had to be choppered
to a burn unit in San Diego.

669
00:41:40,167 --> 00:41:41,168
No.

670
00:41:41,327 --> 00:41:42,533
And ever since then...

671
00:41:42,687 --> 00:41:48,410
...you know, I just burst into tears
when I see a large food tray.

672
00:41:49,847 --> 00:41:52,691
So that's why I work at Tony's.

673
00:41:53,247 --> 00:41:55,056
No trays.

674
00:41:55,207 --> 00:41:57,653
Listen up, Kath.
We'll get your dream back, okay?

675
00:41:57,807 --> 00:42:00,458
And you won't burn the elderly.
I promise.

676
00:42:01,567 --> 00:42:02,648
Thanks, Bucky.

677
00:42:04,887 --> 00:42:07,128
- Oh, there's one other thing.
- What?

678
00:42:07,287 --> 00:42:08,777
You're it.

679
00:42:17,087 --> 00:42:19,488
- Hi, Bucky.
- Hey, Miles.

680
00:42:19,647 --> 00:42:20,773
It's great to see you.

681
00:42:20,927 --> 00:42:22,736
So hey, how did our scene
edit together?

682
00:42:23,807 --> 00:42:25,889
That's what I want
to talk to you about.

683
00:42:26,047 --> 00:42:27,811
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. Now, listen.

684
00:42:27,967 --> 00:42:29,332
Yeah. Sit.

685
00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:37,932
So I think you should be
in the porn business.

686
00:42:39,767 --> 00:42:44,614
But in another way
besides on camera.

687
00:42:45,687 --> 00:42:48,657
Perhaps behind the scenes.

688
00:42:50,407 --> 00:42:54,378
But I want to be a star.
It's my destiny.

689
00:42:54,527 --> 00:42:56,848
Yeah, yeah, I know, Bucky.

690
00:42:57,047 --> 00:42:59,448
Your parents and destiny.

691
00:43:00,607 --> 00:43:04,976
But porn stars have to have
certain things.

692
00:43:05,527 --> 00:43:09,134
- You know?
- Yeah, I can get a tan.

693
00:43:09,807 --> 00:43:13,368
No, I meant more in the crotch area.

694
00:43:13,527 --> 00:43:15,768
Oh, yeah. No, I can tan my crotch.

695
00:43:17,247 --> 00:43:18,373
No, Bucky.

696
00:43:18,527 --> 00:43:20,291
He's talking about your dick,
dum-dum.

697
00:43:20,447 --> 00:43:22,097
You don't got the:

698
00:43:26,087 --> 00:43:30,536
Bucky, you're a really nice kid.

699
00:43:31,407 --> 00:43:33,853
I just don't want to see you
waste your time.

700
00:43:36,167 --> 00:43:38,090
I'm just trying to be
honest with you, kid.

701
00:43:42,047 --> 00:43:43,048
Yeah, okay.

702
00:43:46,887 --> 00:43:48,651
I'm sorry. I gotta go.

703
00:43:50,447 --> 00:43:52,017
Bucky, are you all right?

704
00:43:52,167 --> 00:43:54,295
Yeah, I'm okay.

705
00:43:54,647 --> 00:43:56,251
Bucky.

706
00:44:01,727 --> 00:44:05,334
Hey, Miles, baby.
I'll do a movie for you.

707
00:44:06,167 --> 00:44:08,010
I'm hung like a cocker spaniel.

708
00:44:09,607 --> 00:44:14,010
- Cocker spaniel is not a big dog.
- Yeah, but it's nice and soft.

709
00:44:14,167 --> 00:44:15,532
With cuddly eyes.

710
00:44:16,407 --> 00:44:17,852
Your dick has cuddly eyes?

711
00:44:18,647 --> 00:44:22,413
You know what I mean.
You know what the fuck I mean.

712
00:44:24,567 --> 00:44:26,171
Fuck you!

713
00:44:34,527 --> 00:44:36,416
Did you eat one of my grapes?

714
00:44:36,567 --> 00:44:40,014
Is that why you're crying,
you son of a bitch?

715
00:44:40,167 --> 00:44:41,931
You're pathetic.

716
00:44:51,007 --> 00:44:54,807
What the fuck is with
the forwarding of all the videos?

717
00:44:56,007 --> 00:44:58,135
What did my mom send me?

718
00:45:00,647 --> 00:45:02,092
What the fuck?

719
00:45:02,247 --> 00:45:04,136
I uploaded it on youpube.net.

720
00:45:04,287 --> 00:45:06,972
It's gotten almost a million hits
in three days.

721
00:45:08,287 --> 00:45:09,288
- You're kidding.
- No.

722
00:45:09,447 --> 00:45:12,894
All my friends watched it with their
girls and they all got laid afterwards.

723
00:45:13,447 --> 00:45:14,937
Right.

724
00:45:15,967 --> 00:45:17,731
The guys aren't threatened.

725
00:45:17,887 --> 00:45:21,414
And the girls think they've got a prize
compared to Bucky.

726
00:45:25,287 --> 00:45:27,654
Every small dick out there
has been waiting for this.

727
00:45:28,447 --> 00:45:29,448
How do you know that?

728
00:45:30,367 --> 00:45:32,256
Let's stay focused.

729
00:45:32,967 --> 00:45:34,366
This is a good angle.

730
00:45:34,367 --> 00:45:34,777
Retail Spell Checked

731
00:45:37,407 --> 00:45:40,650
I'm just saying, I've never been
fully filled up on camera before.

732
00:45:40,807 --> 00:45:43,936
You're saying you have more inches
to your torpedo?

733
00:45:44,087 --> 00:45:45,088
At least five more.

734
00:45:45,567 --> 00:45:48,776
- We could blow some minds.
- And more loads.

735
00:45:51,127 --> 00:45:54,097
- J. Day.
- Hey, Miles, come in.

736
00:45:54,247 --> 00:45:56,375
- How's it going, buddy?
- Good, good.

737
00:45:56,527 --> 00:45:58,097
Do you know Dick Shadow?

738
00:45:58,247 --> 00:46:00,249
- Yeah. It's been a while.
- Yeah.

739
00:46:00,407 --> 00:46:02,535
Yeah, well, you've been busy.

740
00:46:03,807 --> 00:46:05,775
Yeah, Nice. Miles, is that the DVD?

741
00:46:06,607 --> 00:46:08,177
Right there.

742
00:46:08,327 --> 00:46:11,456
Miles called me about discovering
the new heat in porn.

743
00:46:11,607 --> 00:46:14,895
Really?
I didn't know porn needed heating up.

744
00:46:16,327 --> 00:46:18,136
Do you mind if I sit in on this,
J. Day?

745
00:46:18,287 --> 00:46:20,176
- Yeah, yeah, yes, of course.
- Yeah.

746
00:46:20,327 --> 00:46:22,250
Stay and check it out.
Have a seat, Miles.

747
00:46:22,407 --> 00:46:24,569
- Make yourself comfy.
- Okay. Thanks.

748
00:46:33,607 --> 00:46:35,769
I know who that guy is.

749
00:46:44,407 --> 00:46:47,968
- Does he have pussy?
- Wait, wait, wait.

750
00:46:52,807 --> 00:46:55,048
Wait a minute here.

751
00:46:55,207 --> 00:46:57,448
What--?
What's he turning into, a werewolf?

752
00:46:57,607 --> 00:47:00,577
He's got quite the squirt gun, huh?

753
00:47:06,727 --> 00:47:08,411
Well, what do you think?

754
00:47:08,567 --> 00:47:10,535
I mean, the guy can spunk
like a monkey...

755
00:47:10,687 --> 00:47:13,213
...but his face is a nightmare
with the teeth.

756
00:47:13,647 --> 00:47:16,617
He should not be on camera.
You're pulling my nuts, huh?

757
00:47:16,767 --> 00:47:18,974
- This a joke?
- No.

758
00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:21,937
This thing was all over the Internet.

759
00:47:22,087 --> 00:47:26,092
It was the most e-mailed clip
of the week on youpube.net.

760
00:47:26,247 --> 00:47:30,377
Yes, of course it was. This guy's like
Muppet with clown-flower spray-penis.

761
00:47:30,967 --> 00:47:32,651
But this isn't porno, man.

762
00:47:32,807 --> 00:47:35,697
Porn is to fantasies about the cock
you wish you had.

763
00:47:35,847 --> 00:47:38,248
Or wish was in your wife's hand
or ass crack.

764
00:47:39,127 --> 00:47:43,451
But it's also about the cock
you're glad you don't have.

765
00:47:45,047 --> 00:47:48,290
I know it's different,
but this could be something...

766
00:47:48,447 --> 00:47:49,687
...really groundbreaking.

767
00:47:50,607 --> 00:47:54,214
J. Day, you got to give this a shot.

768
00:47:54,647 --> 00:47:57,378
You know what?
I want to do several shots of tequila...

769
00:47:57,527 --> 00:48:01,851
...black out, and forget I ever saw
the rat face and mouse pee-pee.

770
00:48:03,527 --> 00:48:07,168
Listen, I'm really sorry, Miles.
What can I do?

771
00:48:07,687 --> 00:48:09,849
- I'm sorry, buddy.
- Okay.

772
00:48:11,327 --> 00:48:14,809
Take it easy, broheim. Relax.
Go home, wax your asshole.

773
00:48:17,287 --> 00:48:19,449
I feel bad turning my back on him.

774
00:48:19,607 --> 00:48:22,929
But he's a mess with the pills and the
ex-wives and the:

775
00:48:26,727 --> 00:48:29,856
- Are you into pills too?
- No, it's just a little Viagra.

776
00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:31,976
I'm going to the mall.

777
00:48:34,527 --> 00:48:35,858
Jeez.

778
00:48:37,287 --> 00:48:39,051
Are you sure you wanna do this,
Miles?

779
00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:41,778
My professor said you should
never invest your own money.

780
00:48:41,927 --> 00:48:45,374
Yeah? And where is your professor?

781
00:48:45,527 --> 00:48:49,293
In the classroom,
teaching a bunch of dick-divers.

782
00:48:49,447 --> 00:48:52,337
I'm a fucking artist
and the movies always come first.

783
00:48:52,487 --> 00:48:55,616
Not money, not happiness,
the movies.

784
00:48:56,207 --> 00:48:58,733
You know who knows that?
My first wife, my second wife...

785
00:48:58,887 --> 00:49:01,015
...my fourth wife, and my ninth wife.

786
00:49:01,727 --> 00:49:03,616
Plus, I just got approved for a loan.

787
00:49:04,927 --> 00:49:06,417
What bank gave you a loan?

788
00:49:06,567 --> 00:49:09,696
The bank of the Vietnamese mafia.

789
00:49:14,127 --> 00:49:15,856
I just got off a night shoot.

790
00:49:16,007 --> 00:49:19,534
I wrapped another movie like
an hour ago and I come right over.

791
00:49:19,687 --> 00:49:22,896
You know, you should get some sleep,
though. Sleep ls really important.

792
00:49:23,047 --> 00:49:25,288
My mom said everyone
should have nine hours a day.

793
00:49:25,447 --> 00:49:28,337
Nine hours would be good.
I love work, you know....

794
00:49:28,487 --> 00:49:30,091
What the fuck are you doing?

795
00:49:30,247 --> 00:49:33,296
- I was just trying to fix his hair.
- But who told you to do that?

796
00:49:33,447 --> 00:49:35,814
- I thought--
- I don't give a shit what you thought.

797
00:49:35,967 --> 00:49:38,891
I don't want him to look good.
I want him to look natural.

798
00:49:39,687 --> 00:49:41,610
But he looks horrible.

799
00:49:42,407 --> 00:49:43,932
Get the fuck out.

800
00:49:45,007 --> 00:49:46,896
Get the fuck out.

801
00:49:49,007 --> 00:49:51,135
- How are you feeling, Bucky?
- I'm good.

802
00:49:51,287 --> 00:49:53,574
I think he was trying to be nice.
He was tired--

803
00:49:53,727 --> 00:49:55,695
Who cares? Fuck him.
He's getting paid.

804
00:49:55,847 --> 00:49:58,418
I want to talk to you
about the scene we're about to shoot.

805
00:49:58,567 --> 00:50:00,729
- Oh, yeah. Okay, good.
- Okay.

806
00:50:00,887 --> 00:50:04,733
You're a paperboy. And you've been
delivering papers all day long.

807
00:50:04,887 --> 00:50:06,889
And you're hot. And you're tired.

808
00:50:07,047 --> 00:50:09,573
You've been up and down the streets,
throwing the papers.

809
00:50:09,727 --> 00:50:12,810
And you need an ice cream.

810
00:50:13,487 --> 00:50:14,693
Oh, boy.

811
00:50:15,487 --> 00:50:16,568
What?

812
00:50:17,407 --> 00:50:19,057
I never delivered a paper in my life.

813
00:50:19,207 --> 00:50:22,017
I'm so sorry. I should have told you.
I just didn't even think.

814
00:50:22,167 --> 00:50:24,295
I didn't have a paper route
in the neighbourhood.

815
00:50:24,447 --> 00:50:26,768
I mowed the lawns.
You want to make it lawn mowing--

816
00:50:26,927 --> 00:50:29,658
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

817
00:50:30,487 --> 00:50:34,697
Oh, God. I love it
that you care about the details.

818
00:50:34,847 --> 00:50:37,293
- Yeah.
- Did we powder Blueberry's tits?

819
00:50:38,247 --> 00:50:40,818
- Not yet.
- Well, why the fuck not?

820
00:50:40,967 --> 00:50:42,412
Yo, fruit bat.

821
00:50:43,807 --> 00:50:45,411
- Where the fuck are you going?
- What?

822
00:50:45,567 --> 00:50:48,173
- I thought you said--
- Fuck you, what I thought.

823
00:50:48,327 --> 00:50:51,171
Powder her tits.
Do something right today.

824
00:50:54,567 --> 00:50:56,569
Excuse me, ma'am.
Could you wait one second?

825
00:50:56,727 --> 00:50:59,014
- For what?
- We're shooting a movie.

826
00:51:00,447 --> 00:51:03,053
Who's the star, Judge Reinhold?

827
00:51:08,047 --> 00:51:10,414
Is it a monster movie?

828
00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:15,368
- And er-action.
- Oh, er-action. Bucky, go. Go, go, go.

829
00:51:19,247 --> 00:51:20,772
Hey, ma'am, I got your paper.

830
00:51:20,927 --> 00:51:23,692
You can leave the paper
on the counter.

831
00:51:27,007 --> 00:51:28,850
- I got it right.
- I saw it.

832
00:51:29,007 --> 00:51:30,008
Don't look at me.

833
00:51:33,647 --> 00:51:36,457
I have a problem, paperboy.

834
00:51:38,367 --> 00:51:40,654
Maybe you can help me.

835
00:51:40,807 --> 00:51:42,093
I have a sundae...

836
00:51:43,287 --> 00:51:47,372
...but it needs nuts and cream on it.

837
00:51:47,847 --> 00:51:50,851
Oh, no. Here, let me help.
I'll just get my scooper out.

838
00:51:56,727 --> 00:51:59,378
- That's it?
- It's average.

839
00:51:59,847 --> 00:52:04,774
Boy, my sugar cones
could really use some alr.

840
00:52:24,247 --> 00:52:27,456
Cut! That was great, Bucky.

841
00:52:27,607 --> 00:52:30,895
- It was?
- It was.

842
00:52:31,047 --> 00:52:32,856
Do you got another one in you?
Good.

843
00:52:33,007 --> 00:52:35,055
That was great. Good job.

844
00:52:35,367 --> 00:52:37,017
Hi, Blueberry, do you need a rag?

845
00:52:37,167 --> 00:52:40,808
I saw it come out,
but I didn't get any on me.

846
00:52:40,967 --> 00:52:42,890
There's some on my shoe.

847
00:52:43,047 --> 00:52:45,448
I wouldn't eat that.

848
00:52:45,607 --> 00:52:46,733
Okay, you can walk now.

849
00:52:46,887 --> 00:52:48,810
Thanks,
but I'm gonna send you a bill...

850
00:52:48,967 --> 00:52:51,857
...for this bird poop on my shoulder.

851
00:53:03,927 --> 00:53:07,374
So there it is. The future.

852
00:53:08,487 --> 00:53:10,091
I wanted you all to see it first...

853
00:53:10,247 --> 00:53:12,932
...because you're the best distributors
in the business.

854
00:53:13,087 --> 00:53:15,135
And I value your opinion.

855
00:53:15,287 --> 00:53:16,971
And we're looking
for a modest deal...

856
00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:20,609
...foreign and domestic.
Any questions?

857
00:53:21,567 --> 00:53:25,128
- Yeah, Eddie.
- Miles, are you fucking kidding us?

858
00:53:25,287 --> 00:53:27,972
- What?
- That didn't even get me half hard.

859
00:53:28,127 --> 00:53:30,778
It actually got my dick
to go back inside me...

860
00:53:30,927 --> 00:53:33,817
...and it's pointed towards
my stomach.

861
00:53:34,087 --> 00:53:35,657
And it hurts.

862
00:53:35,807 --> 00:53:37,172
It's a new style.

863
00:53:37,327 --> 00:53:40,888
But Eddie, this is going to catch on.

864
00:53:41,047 --> 00:53:42,970
How did he lose his penis?

865
00:53:43,127 --> 00:53:44,617
Was it a hunting accident?

866
00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:50,697
Miles, where'd you find a
buck-tooth dyke with a clit that big?

867
00:53:56,967 --> 00:53:58,093
Unbelievable.

868
00:53:59,527 --> 00:54:00,653
So that went good?

869
00:54:08,727 --> 00:54:10,729
Who's taller?

870
00:54:10,887 --> 00:54:12,173
He is.

871
00:54:12,327 --> 00:54:13,897
Okay. All right, well, wait.

872
00:54:15,607 --> 00:54:17,928
- Now, who's taller?
- He is.

873
00:54:19,127 --> 00:54:21,812
Look, Bucky, I'm a parade float.

874
00:54:22,247 --> 00:54:24,056
Oh, my gosh.

875
00:54:27,487 --> 00:54:30,491
I don't know what those distribution
guys were talking about, Bucky.

876
00:54:30,647 --> 00:54:34,015
I thought you were totally adorable
and charming in that paperboy movie.

877
00:54:34,167 --> 00:54:36,329
Really? Thanks.

878
00:54:36,487 --> 00:54:38,410
Yeah, I just got to keep on believing.

879
00:54:38,567 --> 00:54:41,218
You know,
this town ls really testing me.

880
00:54:41,367 --> 00:54:44,576
Yeah. And you know what's funny?

881
00:54:44,727 --> 00:54:46,411
Clowns?

882
00:54:46,687 --> 00:54:48,894
Yes, but, you know, in your videos...

883
00:54:49,047 --> 00:54:52,017
...you never actually have
sex with the girls.

884
00:54:53,607 --> 00:54:57,578
Yeah, I've never really
done that before, so I don't know.

885
00:54:57,727 --> 00:55:00,492
Yeah. No.

886
00:55:02,807 --> 00:55:05,128
- Can I take a picture?
- All right. How's my hair?

887
00:55:05,287 --> 00:55:07,686
Very good. Very good.

888
00:55:07,687 --> 00:55:08,286


889
00:55:08,287 --> 00:55:10,255
No way. I don't believe this.

890
00:55:10,407 --> 00:55:13,217
I've seen all the shit In here,
but that is not real.

891
00:55:13,367 --> 00:55:15,051
- Hi.
- Whoa, shit.

892
00:55:15,207 --> 00:55:17,892
I'm sorry, man. You're real. Okay.

893
00:55:18,047 --> 00:55:19,856
They pay you
to glue those chopsticks on?

894
00:55:20,007 --> 00:55:22,658
- To glue what sticks?
- Baby, I don't think he works here.

895
00:55:22,807 --> 00:55:24,457
I don't care. If those are real...

896
00:55:24,607 --> 00:55:27,736
...then I gotta get a picture
with the beaver man. Here, watch this.

897
00:55:28,527 --> 00:55:32,498
All right, leave it to my man, beaver.
Look at you, brother.

898
00:55:32,647 --> 00:55:35,218
You could tear up a carrot.
Look at that.

899
00:55:35,367 --> 00:55:36,448
Thanks.

900
00:55:42,967 --> 00:55:45,493
Are my teeth really that weird?

901
00:55:45,647 --> 00:55:48,173
No. Not at all.

902
00:55:48,327 --> 00:55:50,489
They just have character.

903
00:55:50,687 --> 00:55:52,018
- Really?
- Yeah.

904
00:55:52,167 --> 00:55:53,578
Thanks, Kathy.

905
00:55:53,727 --> 00:55:56,333
No. It cannot be.

906
00:55:59,287 --> 00:56:00,777
Yeah, they're real.

907
00:56:00,927 --> 00:56:03,294
You are him?
Bucky from the Internet?

908
00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:05,131
You spray from your nest.

909
00:56:05,287 --> 00:56:07,210
Yeah, that's me.

910
00:56:07,367 --> 00:56:12,294
Your video was beautiful, inspiring.

911
00:56:15,167 --> 00:56:17,010
It was such a big help to me
and my wife.

912
00:56:17,167 --> 00:56:21,092
She had grown tired
of my Water Wiggle...

913
00:56:21,247 --> 00:56:25,297
...but you renewed her joy in my rod.

914
00:56:25,447 --> 00:56:29,133
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, my pleasure. That's great.

915
00:56:29,287 --> 00:56:32,177
Listen, I have a restaurant
called Chop.

916
00:56:32,327 --> 00:56:34,056
It is an Italian steakhouse.

917
00:56:34,207 --> 00:56:36,653
You come in,
I'll give you the meal of your lifetime.

918
00:56:37,487 --> 00:56:39,251
- What?
- I know Chop.

919
00:56:39,407 --> 00:56:42,490
You got nine-and-a-half stars
out of 10 in Restaurant Magazine.

920
00:56:42,647 --> 00:56:46,094
The only Los Angeles restaurant
to do that in four years.

921
00:56:46,247 --> 00:56:49,729
Their chef, Alfred DuPont,
flies in stone crab claws...

922
00:56:49,887 --> 00:56:52,208
...fresh from Florida every day.

923
00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:55,052
And he's also cultivated
the largest wine selection...

924
00:56:55,207 --> 00:56:57,608
...in all of southern California.
And he's a Libra.

925
00:56:57,767 --> 00:56:59,496
Wow, how do you know this?

926
00:57:00,967 --> 00:57:02,651
I'm a food fan.

927
00:57:02,807 --> 00:57:04,809
Kathy's like the best waitress
in the world.

928
00:57:04,967 --> 00:57:05,968
Where do you work?

929
00:57:07,927 --> 00:57:10,089
She's talking to a couple places.

930
00:57:11,087 --> 00:57:14,250
You come in to Chop on Friday,
you ask for Dominic.

931
00:57:14,407 --> 00:57:17,172
I'll see if we got any openings.

932
00:57:17,327 --> 00:57:19,648
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

933
00:57:24,607 --> 00:57:25,608
Oh, my God.

934
00:57:26,247 --> 00:57:27,817
Bucky.

935
00:57:28,327 --> 00:57:30,898
Wow, your head is full
of so many food facts.

936
00:57:32,327 --> 00:57:34,898
But Bucky, I can't.

937
00:57:36,727 --> 00:57:40,493
The old woman. I burned somebody.

938
00:57:40,647 --> 00:57:44,174
Listen to me. That was an accident.

939
00:57:44,327 --> 00:57:45,533
You can do this.

940
00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:48,613
Come on, you can't keep working
in that stupid diner...

941
00:57:48,767 --> 00:57:52,010
...getting tipped in Monopoly money
and belly-button lint.

942
00:57:54,887 --> 00:57:58,608
I know it's hard, but I'll help you.

943
00:57:58,767 --> 00:58:00,815
We can do this.

944
00:58:00,967 --> 00:58:02,173
Okay.

945
00:58:06,207 --> 00:58:09,416
- Video or the teeth?
- Teeth.

946
00:58:12,327 --> 00:58:16,616
Oh, no, no. We gotta have six or eight
of those before you get the fire started.

947
00:58:16,767 --> 00:58:18,371
What's the big whoop-de-doo,
Miles?

948
00:58:18,527 --> 00:58:20,131
Bucky.

949
00:58:20,287 --> 00:58:24,258
Hey. Hey, what's the deal
with your roommate?

950
00:58:24,407 --> 00:58:26,808
You can't talk on the phone
for more than 20 seconds...

951
00:58:26,967 --> 00:58:28,617
...or else he'll burn your pubes off?

952
00:58:28,767 --> 00:58:32,328
Oh, Yeah, I know. Gary just had
a rough day. He's got diarrhoea.

953
00:58:32,487 --> 00:58:34,728
You keep pubes.

954
00:58:35,367 --> 00:58:37,495
Anyway. Great news.

955
00:58:37,647 --> 00:58:40,730
We set up a link so that people
could buy our latest piece of work...

956
00:58:40,887 --> 00:58:42,730
- ...and guess what.
- What?

957
00:58:42,887 --> 00:58:44,616
It's selling like a mofo.

958
00:58:44,767 --> 00:58:46,212
Hot dog.

959
00:58:46,367 --> 00:58:48,973
Not only did we make
all of our money back...

960
00:58:49,127 --> 00:58:52,654
...the Vietnamese guys have offered to
finance a couple more pictures for us.

961
00:58:53,127 --> 00:58:55,858
- No fooling?
- Fuck fooling.

962
00:58:56,007 --> 00:58:59,056
You were right.
You were born to be a star.

963
00:58:59,207 --> 00:59:02,654
This is-- I gotta call my folks.

964
00:59:02,807 --> 00:59:05,856
I have to tell Kathy. I'm gonna
call Kathy? My gosh. And my folks--

965
00:59:06,007 --> 00:59:08,214
You do that and we're going to party.

966
00:59:08,807 --> 00:59:11,856
- Oh, shit.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry.

967
01:00:10,007 --> 01:00:14,092
Where the fuck do I put my
grapes now, you insensitive bastard?

968
01:00:33,287 --> 01:00:35,972
I'm an old lady and I love soup.

969
01:00:48,847 --> 01:00:52,294
- I did it.
- You did it! I knew you could!

970
01:00:52,447 --> 01:00:54,017
Bucky!

971
01:01:08,967 --> 01:01:11,288
There you go.
Enjoy the brain sparkle.

972
01:01:11,447 --> 01:01:15,497
- Next.
- We are just so excited to meet you.

973
01:01:15,647 --> 01:01:18,617
I mean, for so long,
our relationship was really off.

974
01:01:18,767 --> 01:01:20,007
It was just shit.

975
01:01:20,647 --> 01:01:22,536
My boyfriend's
got a really small dick.

976
01:01:22,687 --> 01:01:25,133
Like, no meat on it.
And it really bothered me.

977
01:01:25,727 --> 01:01:27,650
I was kind of used
to being with guys...

978
01:01:27,807 --> 01:01:30,094
...with big-to-huge dicks
before I met him.

979
01:01:30,247 --> 01:01:32,375
I thought dicks
were supposed to be like that...

980
01:01:32,527 --> 01:01:34,416
...with fatness and length
and whatever.

981
01:01:34,567 --> 01:01:36,649
When Allen would ask me to blow him,
I was like:

982
01:01:36,807 --> 01:01:40,016
"Keep that fucking gross niblet
away from me."

983
01:01:40,167 --> 01:01:42,408
But then when I saw your dick...

984
01:01:42,567 --> 01:01:45,935
...it was like a rebirth,
a new beginning.

985
01:01:46,807 --> 01:01:49,048
I watched the whole video
and I thought...

986
01:01:49,207 --> 01:01:52,290
...maybe I do have something great
with Allen after all.

987
01:01:52,447 --> 01:01:55,098
Compared to you, he's gigantic.

988
01:01:55,247 --> 01:01:57,898
I mean, you make me look
like I got a big dick.

989
01:01:59,007 --> 01:02:01,613
So anyways,
we've been fucking a lot.

990
01:02:01,767 --> 01:02:04,657
And I can't ride his dick
because I always fall right off.

991
01:02:04,807 --> 01:02:08,016
But he's been dogging me
and I don't know, I can kind of feel It...

992
01:02:08,167 --> 01:02:11,694
...or it's his pubes bumping up
against my sandbar, but whatever.

993
01:02:11,847 --> 01:02:15,329
At least we're doing it, connecting.

994
01:02:15,487 --> 01:02:17,091
Just, thank you.

995
01:02:17,447 --> 01:02:19,609
Yeah. Thank you.

996
01:02:19,767 --> 01:02:21,735
Changing lives.

997
01:02:22,687 --> 01:02:25,133
Our next guest went from
being an Internet sensation...

998
01:02:25,287 --> 01:02:28,814
...to getting the most nominations
in the history of adult film.

999
01:02:28,967 --> 01:02:31,254
This should be good.

1000
01:02:32,487 --> 01:02:35,058
Please welcome Bucky Larson,
everybody.

1001
01:02:39,527 --> 01:02:42,178
No! You fucking prick!

1002
01:02:45,247 --> 01:02:49,093
You don't look like
the average porn star.

1003
01:02:49,247 --> 01:02:52,012
Oh, yeah,
because I'm wearing a sweater.

1004
01:03:12,327 --> 01:03:13,408
Blueberry's with me.

1005
01:03:17,967 --> 01:03:19,207
Bucky.

1006
01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,372
Another shot, Bucky.

1007
01:03:26,247 --> 01:03:27,294
Bucky....

1008
01:03:29,687 --> 01:03:30,688
It's Bucky.

1009
01:03:32,007 --> 01:03:33,691
- Is that him?
- Hey, Bucky.

1010
01:03:33,847 --> 01:03:35,417
God, he's here.

1011
01:03:35,567 --> 01:03:38,491
Miles.
It's great to see you, Miles. Hello.

1012
01:03:38,647 --> 01:03:43,369
Your vision with Bucky?
I didn't see it, but you did.

1013
01:03:43,527 --> 01:03:46,849
You turned a Tic Tac
into a gold mine.

1014
01:03:47,847 --> 01:03:49,736
- Well, here he is.
- Hey, how are you?

1015
01:03:49,887 --> 01:03:51,332
Hello, it's great to meet you.

1016
01:03:51,487 --> 01:03:52,613
- Hello, beautiful.
- Hello.

1017
01:03:52,767 --> 01:03:55,213
Yes, you can have a seat here.
Be my guest.

1018
01:03:55,367 --> 01:03:57,608
And you know Rosie Bush
and Jim Spraysium.

1019
01:03:57,767 --> 01:03:59,007
- Of course.
- Bucky's parents.

1020
01:03:59,167 --> 01:04:00,293
Hi, how are you?

1021
01:04:00,447 --> 01:04:03,610
Your movies were like
my Batman growing Up.

1022
01:04:04,007 --> 01:04:06,897
- How sweet.
- Batman? That's swell. I love Batman.

1023
01:04:07,047 --> 01:04:08,333
- Have a seat.
- Thanks so much.

1024
01:04:08,487 --> 01:04:11,138
- Hey, Dick. Good to see you again.
- Good to see you too.

1025
01:04:11,287 --> 01:04:13,289
Congratulations on winning
Best "Newcomer."

1026
01:04:13,447 --> 01:04:16,337
What? Are we late?
Did we miss an award?

1027
01:04:16,487 --> 01:04:19,297
- No, no, but you'll get that one.
- How do you know?

1028
01:04:20,287 --> 01:04:22,255
That's the only award I can't win.

1029
01:04:23,567 --> 01:04:26,252
- Who's the pretty girl?
- Oh, this is Kathy.

1030
01:04:26,407 --> 01:04:28,774
She's my girl.... Neighbour.

1031
01:04:29,807 --> 01:04:35,849
Friend. She lives by me.
I like her a lot. She's a girl. Lady.

1032
01:04:36,487 --> 01:04:38,330
I'm Bucky's girlfriend.

1033
01:04:41,087 --> 01:04:44,648
Welcome to the 15th annual
Adult Film Awards.

1034
01:04:44,807 --> 01:04:48,175
And here's your host,
Pauly Shore.

1035
01:04:49,127 --> 01:04:51,209
What? I love Pauly.

1036
01:04:53,087 --> 01:04:55,533
The first award is
Best "Newcomer."

1037
01:04:55,967 --> 01:04:58,095
Which is great
because it's something you get...

1038
01:04:58,247 --> 01:05:00,090
...before the herpes
and hep-C kick in.

1039
01:05:00,487 --> 01:05:03,058
- I got herpes!
- I got hep-C!

1040
01:05:03,207 --> 01:05:06,256
And your nominees
are Steven Storm.

1041
01:05:08,127 --> 01:05:10,653
- Mike Thunder.
- Yeah, Mike!

1042
01:05:10,807 --> 01:05:13,572
Jeffrey Lightning.

1043
01:05:15,527 --> 01:05:18,815
And a new kid who's making
quite a splash around here lately.

1044
01:05:18,967 --> 01:05:19,968
Bucky Larson.

1045
01:05:24,367 --> 01:05:25,414
And the winner is....

1046
01:05:26,567 --> 01:05:28,331
Holy shit, Bucky Larson.

1047
01:05:52,487 --> 01:05:54,808
I've never held a trophy before.

1048
01:05:54,967 --> 01:05:56,492
Or given a speech.

1049
01:05:56,887 --> 01:06:00,778
I want to thank my director,
Miles Deep, for making my movies.

1050
01:06:00,927 --> 01:06:02,895
And for saying
I could be a paperboy...

1051
01:06:03,047 --> 01:06:05,618
...when I swear I've never delivered
a paper in my life.

1052
01:06:07,687 --> 01:06:09,451
Also...

1053
01:06:10,407 --> 01:06:12,978
...to my girlfriend, Kathy.

1054
01:06:16,967 --> 01:06:18,890
Who made sure
I didn't sleep in the bushes.

1055
01:06:19,567 --> 01:06:22,173
And to my folks.

1056
01:06:22,887 --> 01:06:26,255
You are my inspiration
and my heroes.

1057
01:06:27,287 --> 01:06:31,133
I thought I was going to bag groceries
till I was grey in the hair.

1058
01:06:33,127 --> 01:06:37,177
But you showed me
that you can have dreams.

1059
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:43,858
And that dreams can make
your downstairs explode with magic.

1060
01:06:46,887 --> 01:06:51,290
Thank you. I love you so much.

1061
01:07:00,167 --> 01:07:04,491
Okay. That's out of the way.
Now is when I cast my shadow.

1062
01:07:04,847 --> 01:07:08,897
And the award for
biggest load goes to....

1063
01:07:10,247 --> 01:07:11,328
Bucky Larson!

1064
01:07:22,487 --> 01:07:24,489
Everyone In Iowa, I love you!

1065
01:07:25,927 --> 01:07:28,168
The award for Best Bush goes to....

1066
01:07:28,767 --> 01:07:29,768
Come on.

1067
01:07:30,407 --> 01:07:31,488
Bucky Larson.

1068
01:07:33,367 --> 01:07:36,177
I told you not to shave completely
down there.

1069
01:07:36,327 --> 01:07:38,375
You have too many moles.

1070
01:07:39,127 --> 01:07:41,016
To my roommate, Gary,
who always said:

1071
01:07:41,167 --> 01:07:42,737
"Don't shit where you shower."

1072
01:07:44,127 --> 01:07:46,573
Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone?

1073
01:07:46,727 --> 01:07:49,537
- Bucky Larson!
- Bucky Larson.

1074
01:07:49,687 --> 01:07:54,090
- Bucky Larson.
- Bucky Larson.

1075
01:07:55,527 --> 01:07:57,894
- Bucky Larson.
- Bucky Larson.

1076
01:07:58,047 --> 01:08:03,258
- Bucky Larson!
- Best taint is...

1077
01:08:03,687 --> 01:08:05,291
...Bucky Larson.

1078
01:08:05,447 --> 01:08:08,451
This is wild stuff, man. Exciting.

1079
01:08:09,287 --> 01:08:11,528
I don't even know what a taint is.

1080
01:08:12,607 --> 01:08:15,816
But if I have the best one,
that's because of my mother.

1081
01:08:17,407 --> 01:08:19,694
Bucky. Buck.

1082
01:08:20,007 --> 01:08:22,738
You're not nominated for best tits.
Come with me.

1083
01:08:22,887 --> 01:08:25,936
- I want you to meet some people.
- Okay. Are you gonna be all right?

1084
01:08:26,087 --> 01:08:28,977
- Yeah. Yeah, go do your thing.
- Are you sure? I'll be right back.

1085
01:08:31,807 --> 01:08:34,697
- Quite a night.
- Yeah.

1086
01:08:35,687 --> 01:08:37,257
This is crazy.

1087
01:08:37,407 --> 01:08:39,455
So tell me...

1088
01:08:39,607 --> 01:08:42,258
...a guy like Bucky,
what are his tricks?

1089
01:08:43,727 --> 01:08:46,333
- What do you mean?
- You know, in the bedroom.

1090
01:08:46,607 --> 01:08:48,371
He's gotta have something
up his sleeve.

1091
01:08:48,527 --> 01:08:50,894
He surely doesn't have anything
in his pants.

1092
01:08:51,567 --> 01:08:53,456
Well, that's Bucky's
personal business...

1093
01:08:53,607 --> 01:08:56,258
...and I don't really think
it's any concern of yours.

1094
01:08:58,487 --> 01:09:01,297
So you don't even know?
You two haven't...?

1095
01:09:03,207 --> 01:09:06,734
In that case, I really think you need
to spend a night in the shadow.

1096
01:09:07,847 --> 01:09:09,656
I'm already in the shadow.

1097
01:09:09,807 --> 01:09:12,458
The shadow of the 11 awards
Bucky's won tonight.

1098
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,534
He's already tied your record, right?

1099
01:09:15,687 --> 01:09:18,497
And I believe we have
one more award to go.

1100
01:09:18,647 --> 01:09:21,457
So thanks.

1101
01:09:24,647 --> 01:09:28,413
I don't care what they said. I have
the best taint and everybody knows it.

1102
01:09:30,247 --> 01:09:34,809
And now for the winner of the
most prestigious award of the night.

1103
01:09:34,967 --> 01:09:37,447
Male Genitals of the Year.

1104
01:09:40,807 --> 01:09:42,218
And the winner...

1105
01:09:42,367 --> 01:09:46,577
...and the new record-holder
of 12 Adult Film awards....

1106
01:09:48,247 --> 01:09:49,612
Bucky Larson!

1107
01:10:33,447 --> 01:10:35,370
So I asked Miles
if he wanted to hang out...

1108
01:10:35,527 --> 01:10:38,895
...but he said he got an eight ball.
So I guess he's gonna go play pool.

1109
01:10:44,647 --> 01:10:49,096
So it's pretty cool that we both
won awards on the same night.

1110
01:10:49,767 --> 01:10:52,338
What do you mean, "we"?
I didn't win anything.

1111
01:10:52,487 --> 01:10:53,932
Oh, yeah, you didn't hear?

1112
01:11:00,608 --> 01:11:02,098
What the heck is this?

1113
01:11:02,487 --> 01:11:05,297
Open it.
This is your award ceremony.

1114
01:11:06,087 --> 01:11:08,010
Bucky,
you didn't have to give me anything.

1115
01:11:08,727 --> 01:11:11,173
I didn't. You won it.

1116
01:11:12,128 --> 01:11:18,010
And now, for waitress of the year
or millennium, Kathy McGee!

1117
01:11:21,568 --> 01:11:24,048
Oh, flip it over, read the back.

1118
01:11:25,287 --> 01:11:28,291
"Congratulations to the
best waitress in the world.

1119
01:11:28,448 --> 01:11:31,213
Nobody carries food better."

1120
01:11:33,607 --> 01:11:35,291
That's you.

1121
01:11:35,888 --> 01:11:38,858
I didn't plan on winning anything
tonight, so, you know, I just....

1122
01:11:39,008 --> 01:11:42,808
- I thought you should get a trophy.
- Thank you, Bucky.

1123
01:11:42,967 --> 01:11:47,211
You know,
I've never won anything before.

1124
01:11:47,927 --> 01:11:53,093
I've never been to any
fancy award shows and....

1125
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,412
I've never had a guy
treat me like a star.

1126
01:11:59,447 --> 01:12:03,532
And I've never had anyone
believe in me the way that you do.

1127
01:12:04,007 --> 01:12:07,216
Yeah, of course.
You deserve it, Kathy.

1128
01:12:19,367 --> 01:12:23,133
- What is that for?
- For being you.

1129
01:12:25,927 --> 01:12:28,897
You know, Bucky, I was thinking...

1130
01:12:29,888 --> 01:12:33,449
...since you've never done it
with any of the girls in your videos...

1131
01:12:33,607 --> 01:12:38,374
...and, you know,
I've never done it, either...

1132
01:12:40,087 --> 01:12:42,693
...I was thinking that maybe
we could do it together.

1133
01:12:42,848 --> 01:12:47,854
- So you're a Virgo too?
- Yeah.

1134
01:12:49,767 --> 01:12:53,169
But if we're going to do this,
then we have to be careful, okay?

1135
01:12:53,328 --> 01:12:55,490
My mother said that protection...

1136
01:12:55,648 --> 01:12:57,776
...is just as important for you
as it is for me.

1137
01:12:57,927 --> 01:12:59,167
Yeah, sure, sure.

1138
01:12:59,648 --> 01:13:04,131
- Okay. Do you have any protection?
- Do I have a knife?

1139
01:13:31,488 --> 01:13:33,138
Try that.

1140
01:13:47,168 --> 01:13:48,454
It fits.

1141
01:14:01,408 --> 01:14:03,456
You've got hair too.

1142
01:14:23,047 --> 01:14:24,651
Kathy?

1143
01:14:28,007 --> 01:14:30,897
Kathy? Where are you, sweet pea?

1144
01:14:31,527 --> 01:14:33,131
There you are.

1145
01:14:33,287 --> 01:14:37,417
Good morning.
Look at you, carrying a tray like a pro.

1146
01:14:37,568 --> 01:14:40,492
- It's not a big deal.
- Kathy....

1147
01:14:41,527 --> 01:14:43,529
That was so great last night.

1148
01:14:43,927 --> 01:14:46,089
With all the kissing and the cuddling...

1149
01:14:46,727 --> 01:14:49,697
...and the pushing and the bumping.

1150
01:14:50,887 --> 01:14:53,094
That was the best night of my life.

1151
01:14:53,287 --> 01:14:55,176
And I'm not even talking
about the awards.

1152
01:14:55,488 --> 01:14:59,174
I could careless about that.
I'm talking about...

1153
01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:01,251
...just being with you.

1154
01:15:02,407 --> 01:15:06,731
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty cool, I guess.

1155
01:15:08,807 --> 01:15:12,653
You know, Bucky,
I've been thinking about it...

1156
01:15:13,207 --> 01:15:18,088
...and last night was really
fun and everything...

1157
01:15:18,247 --> 01:15:23,492
...and I just think, you know,
since it was my first time...

1158
01:15:23,648 --> 01:15:27,369
...that I should explore all my options.

1159
01:15:29,767 --> 01:15:34,489
Just really get out there and have
other experiences with other guys.

1160
01:15:35,047 --> 01:15:37,448
Other--? Other guys?

1161
01:15:37,808 --> 01:15:40,493
But I only want to do that with you.

1162
01:15:40,647 --> 01:15:43,730
Yeah. We're not married, Bucky.

1163
01:15:43,888 --> 01:15:46,892
We're young
and we should have fun.

1164
01:15:47,047 --> 01:15:50,176
And I have to get an earlier flight
back to L.A.

1165
01:15:50,327 --> 01:15:56,175
I picked up the dinner shift,
and I'll see you later. Okay?

1166
01:15:56,327 --> 01:15:58,694
I don't understand.

1167
01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:15,814
- Hello?
- Hey, up and at them, sunshine.

1168
01:16:15,968 --> 01:16:19,336
Me and J. Day have been at the airport
all night trying to outrun airplanes.

1169
01:16:19,488 --> 01:16:21,377
Come on,
meet us downstairs for breakfast.

1170
01:16:21,527 --> 01:16:23,689
I've got breakfast up here.

1171
01:16:23,847 --> 01:16:26,691
Fuck that. Let's go, down.

1172
01:16:30,087 --> 01:16:31,851
We're not stopping now, Bucky.

1173
01:16:32,167 --> 01:16:34,090
This is only the beginning.

1174
01:16:34,727 --> 01:16:36,172
Kathy left this morning.

1175
01:16:36,327 --> 01:16:40,616
That's what chicks do. They leave.
That's how this shit works.

1176
01:16:40,768 --> 01:16:44,773
They're whores. Except Blueberry.

1177
01:16:46,407 --> 01:16:49,138
- We are taking it to the next level.
- Oh, yes.

1178
01:16:49,287 --> 01:16:52,291
J. Day is producing
all of our movies now.

1179
01:16:52,448 --> 01:16:56,169
He paid off the mafia and he wants
to put you under an exclusive deal.

1180
01:16:56,327 --> 01:16:58,807
Men don't want to live
in the shadows anymore.

1181
01:16:58,967 --> 01:17:00,935
They want to look down
at their baby dick...

1182
01:17:01,088 --> 01:17:03,489
...and pee and bang and be happy.

1183
01:17:03,648 --> 01:17:06,333
We think that, in our new movies,
what you should do...

1184
01:17:06,487 --> 01:17:09,616
...is you should
actually have sex with the girls.

1185
01:17:10,247 --> 01:17:12,249
But what about
what we've been doing?

1186
01:17:12,407 --> 01:17:16,890
The world's wondering if you can even
get inside someone with that thing.

1187
01:17:17,767 --> 01:17:20,373
- But Kathy. I--
- Kathy's gone, man.

1188
01:17:20,528 --> 01:17:22,610
She's gone. She told you so.

1189
01:17:22,768 --> 01:17:26,090
She's probably on the plane right now,
fucking another guy on her way home.

1190
01:17:26,247 --> 01:17:30,889
Yes, she's probably banging the pilot
like crazy. "Kathy," you know?

1191
01:17:35,927 --> 01:17:38,168
Hey, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.

1192
01:17:38,887 --> 01:17:41,288
This is about you now.

1193
01:17:41,447 --> 01:17:43,336
You gotta look to the future, man.

1194
01:17:45,447 --> 01:17:48,018
- Let's have a toast.
- Let's drink to you, Bucky.

1195
01:17:48,167 --> 01:17:49,453
You're the big--

1196
01:17:51,207 --> 01:17:54,575
I'm sorry. I think I just jizzed on you.

1197
01:17:55,328 --> 01:18:00,175
- I'm a lucky Internet chipmunk.
- Come on, show some respect, Dick.

1198
01:18:00,327 --> 01:18:02,853
That's a joke, J. Day.

1199
01:18:03,527 --> 01:18:05,768
Why don't you show some respect
to our industry?

1200
01:18:05,927 --> 01:18:07,338
Or to your manhood?

1201
01:18:07,488 --> 01:18:10,571
- You fucking wannabes.
- Come on, Dick.

1202
01:18:11,527 --> 01:18:13,734
Nothing grows in my cock-shade.

1203
01:18:15,687 --> 01:18:17,257
Nothing.

1204
01:18:18,208 --> 01:18:20,210
Do you know what grows
in your cock-shade?

1205
01:18:20,368 --> 01:18:23,417
A field of baby dicks.

1206
01:18:24,007 --> 01:18:25,930
I just still can't believe it, Pop.

1207
01:18:26,087 --> 01:18:29,216
I tried to call her.
She didn't even answer the phone.

1208
01:18:29,367 --> 01:18:32,018
I don't know.
She seemed like a good egg.

1209
01:18:32,167 --> 01:18:34,898
She was a beautiful egg.

1210
01:18:35,207 --> 01:18:37,096
Painted gold.

1211
01:18:38,208 --> 01:18:41,132
Laid by a diamond goose.

1212
01:18:41,287 --> 01:18:45,770
Now, look, son, you gotta buck up.
You have to power through this.

1213
01:18:45,927 --> 01:18:48,578
You got a big movie to shoot.
That's why you're out there.

1214
01:18:53,607 --> 01:18:55,655
Suck it, whore!

1215
01:19:03,808 --> 01:19:06,652
The weather is a little bit windy....

1216
01:19:07,888 --> 01:19:10,494
- Here you go, Uncle Miles.
- What the hell are you doing?

1217
01:19:11,127 --> 01:19:12,128
You said you wanted--

1218
01:19:12,288 --> 01:19:15,576
I'm about to direct the biggest movie
of my career. I don't wanna be high.

1219
01:19:15,728 --> 01:19:17,378
I want to be focused.

1220
01:19:17,527 --> 01:19:19,529
She moved out of your complex?

1221
01:19:20,567 --> 01:19:22,490
She won't even see me at her job.

1222
01:19:23,408 --> 01:19:26,218
That's heavy, man.
I had a man leave me once.

1223
01:19:27,047 --> 01:19:30,847
One night, after he fucked me,
he told me the smell is so brutal...

1224
01:19:31,008 --> 01:19:34,649
...that he break up with me.
And we were in love too.

1225
01:19:35,328 --> 01:19:38,252
But he said that the fumes
from my backside...

1226
01:19:38,407 --> 01:19:41,934
...that they make him gag
and that they give him nightmares.

1227
01:19:42,487 --> 01:19:45,377
And he said
that the sweat from my ass...

1228
01:19:45,527 --> 01:19:47,689
...it could be used
as a chemical weapon.

1229
01:19:48,528 --> 01:19:50,735
So I tried cleaning it
and scrubbing it.

1230
01:19:50,887 --> 01:19:52,173
I used a car freshener.

1231
01:19:52,327 --> 01:19:55,058
Nothing.
I tried eating only pineapple.

1232
01:19:55,207 --> 01:19:59,292
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Nothing. Just talking about the movie.

1233
01:19:59,447 --> 01:20:03,338
There's no talking. Get the fuck out
of his head. Get out of here!

1234
01:20:06,128 --> 01:20:08,335
Come on.
Stand up, let me see the duds.

1235
01:20:14,807 --> 01:20:16,809
Good. Good, good. Perfect.

1236
01:20:16,967 --> 01:20:18,651
- Hey, Miles?
- Yeah, Buck?

1237
01:20:21,127 --> 01:20:22,731
I just wanted to say thanks.

1238
01:20:23,927 --> 01:20:26,692
Thanks for bringing me my dreams.

1239
01:20:26,848 --> 01:20:28,657
And for being my friend.

1240
01:20:28,807 --> 01:20:32,016
- Of course, Bucky.
- And my folks thank you too.

1241
01:20:32,167 --> 01:20:34,898
They know how tough
this town can be...

1242
01:20:35,447 --> 01:20:39,452
...and to have someone that's in your
corner and that cares about you...

1243
01:20:39,607 --> 01:20:41,257
...is real nice.

1244
01:20:55,367 --> 01:20:57,734
This rock is boiling, Miles.
Can we go?

1245
01:20:57,888 --> 01:20:58,969
Relax.

1246
01:20:59,127 --> 01:21:02,415
You know how many girls
would love to be tied to a hot rock...

1247
01:21:02,567 --> 01:21:06,413
...waiting for Bucky Larson
to try and put it in them?

1248
01:21:07,207 --> 01:21:11,053
We are rolling. Er-action!

1249
01:21:11,808 --> 01:21:17,053
The sun is beating down on me.
I'm losing my mind.

1250
01:21:17,207 --> 01:21:20,654
Oh, no! It's Fucky Bucky.

1251
01:21:20,807 --> 01:21:23,777
Don't touch me, you dirty man.

1252
01:21:25,808 --> 01:21:29,779
Oh, no.
The wind just blew my clothes off.

1253
01:21:34,928 --> 01:21:36,418
She's good actress.

1254
01:21:39,527 --> 01:21:42,656
Come on, buddy. Pound her.

1255
01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,533
Cut!

1256
01:22:06,848 --> 01:22:10,773
- I can't let you do this, Buck.
- Why, what happened?

1257
01:22:12,727 --> 01:22:14,570
I got a confession to make, Bucky.

1258
01:22:16,567 --> 01:22:20,288
Kathy didn't leave you on her own.
I told her to do it.

1259
01:22:20,807 --> 01:22:23,697
- What?
- That morning in Las Vegas...

1260
01:22:23,847 --> 01:22:26,168
...at the hotel,
we'd been up partying all night...

1261
01:22:26,327 --> 01:22:29,536
...and J. Day gave me the news
about our new deal.

1262
01:22:29,687 --> 01:22:33,134
And I ran into Kathy in the restaurant
and she was so happy...

1263
01:22:33,287 --> 01:22:37,531
...but I was so fucked up,
I told her about our new plan...

1264
01:22:37,687 --> 01:22:39,769
...to have you bang the chicks.

1265
01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:46,088
She looked horrified.
She said you'd never want to do that.

1266
01:22:46,247 --> 01:22:47,578
I just lost it.

1267
01:22:47,728 --> 01:22:50,334
I told her that this is why
you come out here.

1268
01:22:50,487 --> 01:22:51,648
This was your destiny.

1269
01:22:51,808 --> 01:22:54,778
And that she'd be selfish
if she stood in your way.

1270
01:22:54,928 --> 01:22:59,968
She started to cry
and I said to her that...

1271
01:23:00,247 --> 01:23:03,171
...if she cared about you...

1272
01:23:03,328 --> 01:23:06,969
...that she'd cut you loose
and let you be great.

1273
01:23:09,767 --> 01:23:12,452
I had no right to do that.

1274
01:23:13,767 --> 01:23:14,893
She loved you.

1275
01:23:16,167 --> 01:23:18,534
You meant the world to her.

1276
01:23:19,687 --> 01:23:22,577
And I don't want to see you
make the same mistakes I did.

1277
01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:28,449
You need to go to Kathy.

1278
01:23:28,848 --> 01:23:31,215
You need to go right now.

1279
01:23:37,968 --> 01:23:39,936
I forgive you, Miles.

1280
01:23:45,207 --> 01:23:48,256
I'm gonna go tell her.
I'm gonna tell her right now.

1281
01:24:01,008 --> 01:24:05,058
- Miles, where's he going?
- He's gone, J. Day.

1282
01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:06,891
But I need that horse!

1283
01:24:07,047 --> 01:24:10,369
He's the star of another movie
I'm doing in Germany.

1284
01:24:11,047 --> 01:24:13,254
Horse-cock Island.

1285
01:24:32,087 --> 01:24:33,612
God gave me a magic wand.

1286
01:24:33,767 --> 01:24:35,929
Why wouldn't I want to cast
love spells?

1287
01:24:36,727 --> 01:24:39,128
You are the most aggressive person
I have ever met.

1288
01:24:39,287 --> 01:24:41,289
It's ridiculous.

1289
01:24:41,927 --> 01:24:45,056
Is it ridiculous how much pleasure
I could bring to your smell garden?

1290
01:24:46,048 --> 01:24:48,335
Trust me.
I would be the best you ever had.

1291
01:24:48,487 --> 01:24:51,457
Dick, you are a dick.

1292
01:24:51,607 --> 01:24:54,372
You know why Bucky Larson
is a bigger star than you now?

1293
01:24:55,367 --> 01:24:59,292
Because he showed people that it
wasn't about having a giant wiener...

1294
01:24:59,447 --> 01:25:01,131
...swinging between your legs.

1295
01:25:01,767 --> 01:25:05,249
It's about being a beautiful
and caring partner.

1296
01:25:06,407 --> 01:25:09,616
And even though
it broke my heart in two...

1297
01:25:10,327 --> 01:25:15,128
...I knew it was more important for him
to continue helping the world...

1298
01:25:15,287 --> 01:25:17,608
...than for me to have happiness.

1299
01:25:20,048 --> 01:25:22,733
So you know
what you need to do now?

1300
01:25:24,087 --> 01:25:25,896
Give you some good rebound sex?

1301
01:25:26,048 --> 01:25:28,528
Let you swing on my sweet meat?

1302
01:25:29,088 --> 01:25:30,738
No. You need to leave.

1303
01:25:31,408 --> 01:25:32,898
Look who's back.

1304
01:25:33,047 --> 01:25:36,813
Kathy, I remember the first time
I saw you at the diner.

1305
01:25:36,967 --> 01:25:40,688
My heart stopped.
My stomach felt funny.

1306
01:25:40,848 --> 01:25:42,691
I thought I had the flu.

1307
01:25:43,968 --> 01:25:47,575
But I didn't. It was you.

1308
01:25:48,327 --> 01:25:52,218
Being in those nude movies,
that's not my destiny.

1309
01:25:52,368 --> 01:25:53,779
Being with you is.

1310
01:25:55,447 --> 01:25:56,812
You make my heart smile.

1311
01:25:56,967 --> 01:26:00,016
- Does your heart have buck teeth too?
- Shut your cock.

1312
01:26:03,847 --> 01:26:07,932
What I'm trying to say is
I love you, Kathy.

1313
01:26:08,407 --> 01:26:09,852
I love you too, Bucky.

1314
01:26:16,727 --> 01:26:19,128
- Will you do me a favour?
- Yeah.

1315
01:26:19,287 --> 01:26:22,814
Will you give me a ride home
to Iowa?

1316
01:26:23,767 --> 01:26:24,973
With honours.

1317
01:26:35,767 --> 01:26:37,929
I smell a garden.

1318
01:26:44,007 --> 01:26:46,578
Ride, little dick. Ride.

1319
01:27:15,927 --> 01:27:20,137
- Do I have chips in my teeth?
- No, you don't have any teeth.

1320
01:27:20,288 --> 01:27:23,337
- Jeremiah.
- Well, she doesn't.

1321
01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:24,489
Oh, my.

1322
01:27:24,647 --> 01:27:26,809
Table 17.
And thank you for coming.

1323
01:27:26,967 --> 01:27:29,618
Hey, best steaks
and service in the state, Bucky.

1324
01:27:29,767 --> 01:27:31,007
That's my wife's doing.

1325
01:27:31,168 --> 01:27:34,490
Hey, honey, there's a table in back,
wants to take a picture with you.

1326
01:27:34,647 --> 01:27:38,049
Yeah, sure. Jeez, how many bowls
you got there?

1327
01:27:38,208 --> 01:27:41,291
- Seven. It's my new record.
- No way.

1328
01:27:43,488 --> 01:27:45,570
You owe me rent money, fucker!

1329
01:27:45,728 --> 01:27:48,459
- Gary, no!
- You're just like John Mayer!

1330
01:27:48,608 --> 01:27:50,258
Just like John Mayer.