警报声 [Siren wails]
哔哔声 [Beeping, whirs]
温柔地哭泣 [ Crying softly]
叹息 [Sighs]
-加油-杰瑞！杰瑞，加油！ -[ Gasps] -Jerry! Jerry, come on!
我们得走了！你得跟我来，杰瑞！ We got to go! You got to come with me, Jerry!
-瑞克？-很重要，杰瑞。 -Rick? -|t's important, Jerry.
把银河系的命运压在你的肩膀上。 [Burps] The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders.
我们走吧，穿上裤子。 Let's go. Put some pants on.
没关系，杰瑞，没时间穿裤子了。 N-Never mind, there's no time for pants, Jerry.
我在路上给你弄一条裤子。 I'll make you a pair of pants on the way.
这是瑞克和杰里的冒险！ It's a Rick and Jerry adventure!
瑞克和杰瑞一集！ Rick and Jerry episode!
戏剧音乐戏剧 [Dramatic music plays]
然后我想，“嘿，杰瑞怎么样？” Then I thought, "Hey, what about Jerry?
他对普通的人很好。” He's -- He's good with regular folk."
这是一个真实的情况，在哪里—— This is a real situation where -- where --
杰里真的会发光。 where Jerry could really shine.
他是一个大师级的说服者。” He's a master convincer."
里克，我不是傻瓜，我知道这是什么。 Rick, I'm not an idiot. I know what this is.
哦，好吧，我告诉了莫蒂， Oh. Okay, well, I told Morty,
“看，父母离婚了。他们很伤心。他会没事的。” "Look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He'll be fine,"
但我想他担心你会，你知道的。 but I think he's worried you're gonna, you know...tht!
当他变得情绪化时，你知道他是如何得到的。 And you know how Morty gets when he gets emotional.
不要妨碍我的工作。 |t impedes my work.
所以，我告诉他我会带你出去，给你一个胜利。 So, I told him I'd take you out and give you a win.
等等，我儿子让你带我去 Wait. My son asked you to take me
为了不让我自杀而进行某种同情的冒险？ on some kind of pity adventure to keep me from killing myself?
等等，你认为是什么？ Wait, w-what did you think it was?
执行。 An execution.
天啊！你真的需要一场胜利。 Geez! You really do need a win.
不！-不知道。 No! |-| don't know.
我是说，你从来没让我穿裤子，所以—— I mean, you never made me the pants, so --
所以，你以为我要开车送你 So, you thought I was gonna drive you
进入星系的中央，然后推着你 into the middle of the galaxy and shove you
在空间的真空中，你的迪克在外面晃荡？ into the vacuum of space with your dick hanging out?
我们会看到，如果这种情况即将发生，你会怎么做？ And we're seeing how you'd act if that were about to happen?
我的意思是，狗屎，我现在就给你做裤子。 I mean, shit, I'll make you the pants right now.
给我两秒钟让你穿裤子。 Take me two seconds to make you pants.
-我家里有裤子！-杰瑞，如果我做裤子， -l have pants at home! -Jerry, if I make pants,
他们在家里会比你的裤子好。 they'll be better than your pants at home.
还有，如果我想杀了你—— Also, if I wanted to kill you --
是的，我明白了。太棒了。 Yeah, I get it. It'd be amazing.
请带我回家。 Please, take me home.
我要告诉我的儿子，我们经历了一次奇妙的冒险。 I'll tell my son we had an amazing adventure.
好吧，如果都是一样的， Well, if it's all the same,
我们能把故事讲清楚吗？ could we go get our story straight?
因为你是一个糟糕的说谎者。 Because you're a terrible liar.
你说我是一个万能的说服者！ You called me a master convincer!
你相信我？ You believed me?
嗯，这似乎有点异想天开。 Huh. This seems...kind of fancy.
杰瑞，你知道的，这是等价的 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent
在一个陌生的卡车停靠站。 of an alien truck stop.
你没有参考的框架。 You have no frame of reference.
你在一个超乎你想象的宇宙中。 You're in a universe beyond your imagining.
但是，是的，这是非常奇特的。 But, yes, it is super fancy.
我的意思是，我的工作就是让莫蒂开心。 I mean, my job here is to make Morty happy.
我不会带你去危险的地方。 I'm not gonna take you somewhere dangerous.
-格伦特-里克桑切斯。 -[ Grunts] -Rick Sanchez.
我告诉过你如果我再在这里看到你的脸， I told you if I ever saw your face in here again,
我会像你一样把你粘在你的身上。 I would stick you like the pig you are.
我告诉过你，如果你试过…… [Coughs] Shnoopy Bloopers, I told you if you tried...
会有两场葬礼。 there'd be two funerals.
啊！ Aaah!
有人？ Someone?
两声咕哝 [ Both grunt]
都笑了 [Both laughing]
我的朋友，时间太长了。 My friend! It has been too long.
瑞克：哦，很高兴再次见到你，伙计！ RICK: Oh, it's great to see you again, buddy!
-都在笑-是的，你在做。 -[ Both laughing] -Yeah, you're doing it.
桑切斯先生得到他想要的任何东西！ Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants!
这个度假胜地覆盖着一个不朽的田野。 The resort's covered in an immortality field.
你不能死在这里，这是骗人的把戏。 You can't die here. That's the gimmick.
大笑 [Laughing]
好吧，但还是——糟糕的教养。 Okay, but still -- bad parenting.
嘿，有钱的洞是很有钱的。 Hey, rich a-holes are rich a-holes.
他们都支付高价来这里 They all pay top dollar to come here
享受无结果的假期。 and enjoy a consequence-free vacaﬁon.
没有死亡，没有疾病，没有肢解。 No death, no disease, no dismemberment.
-咕哝-甚至不能心脏病发作。 -[ Grunting ] -Can't even have a heart attack.
找到了，完美的地方 Got it. The perfect place
把最脆弱的存在于宇宙中。 to take the most fragile being in the universe.
我可以告诉你，希望我能反驳这一点， I can tell you expect me to refute that,
但钱是对的。 but it's right on the money.
如果我没有你回家， If I come home without you,
我怀疑莫蒂是否会让我摆脱困境。 I doubt Morty's gonna let me off the hook.
是的，但是如果你带着Jeff Goldblum回家呢？ Yeah, but what if you came home with Jeff Goldblum?
杰夫戈德布拉姆？你他妈的在说什么，杰瑞？ Jeff Goldblum? What the fuck are you talking about, Jerry?
耶稣！ [Spits] Jesus!
天哪！ Holy fucking shit!
哟，怎么了，“大寒”？ Yo, what's up, "Big Chill"?!
不要进入那个传送器！ Don't go into that telepod!
都笑了 [Both laughing]
嘿，也许我们会在一次虚假的冒险中玩得开心。 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure.
在一次虚假的冒险中。 On a fake adventure.
说到，我们要怎么告诉莫蒂？ Speaking of, what are we gonna tell Morty?
我不知道，但不管它是什么， I don't know. But whatever it is,
我们还需要更多这样的孩子！ we're gonna need a couple more of these babies!
叮当！ [Clink! ]
-哭-怎么了？ -[ Sobbing ] -What's wrong?
哭妈妈，你觉得我很性感吗？ [Crying] Mom, do you think I'm hot?
不要认为那是重要的事情。 |...don't think that's something that matters.
所以，我不热？！ So, I'm not hot?!
我说的是你的一部分关心这个 I'm saying the part of you that cares about that
是你不应该给予任何能量的部分。 is a part you shouldn't give any energy to.
那不是答案！ That's not an answer!
因为我不是Cosmo的问题，好吗？ Because I'm not an issue of Cosmo, okay?
我是你的母亲和医生， I'm your mother and a doctor, and --
太可怕了！ |'m hideous!
啜泣 [Sobbing]
天啊，她怎么了？ Geez. What's with her?
十几岁女孩的东西。 Teenage-girl stuff.
那是……蹄类拼贴吗？ Is that a...hoof collage?
这是完全合法的，如果这是你想知道的。 It's perfectly legal, if that's what you're wondering.
很酷，很酷。 Cool...zies.
“夏天，我们再也没有什么共同之处了。” "We just don't have anything in common anymore, Summer."
哦，对了，伊森？ Oh, yeah, Ethan?
你和崔茜卡兰格有什么共同点？ What do you have in common with Tricia Lange?
对法国电影的共同爱好？ A mutual love of French cinema?
碳税的信念 The belief that a carbon tax
是解决气候变化的唯一可行方案吗？ is the only viable solution to climate change?
又或者是她的脱衣舞女？ Or could it be her massive stripper titties?!
在那里，它是。 [Gasps] There it is.
这就是鱿鱼王Malakai And that's when Malakai the Squid King
他的脸被撕掉了，下面是我的脸。 rips off his face, and beneath it is my face.
-我喜欢。-谢谢你，先生。 -I liked it. -Thank you, sir.
是的，他当然喜欢。看看他。 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him.
“混蛋”有两个头和三个箱子。 Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks.
好的，我们会在里面放一个大头针。 All right, we'll put a pin in it.
我要去找个漏洞。 I'm gonna go take a leak.
吹口哨 [Whistling]
咕哝的 [Grunting]
啊！我的手都干了！我的手都干了！ Ah! My hands are dry! My hands are dry!
我的名字是Risotto Groupon。 My name is Risotto Groupon.
我是这家餐厅的总经理助理。 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant.
你有什么评论卡吗？ Do you have any comment cards?
因为我可能有一些想法。 Because I might have some thoughts.
我的王国被武力篡夺了武器和技术 My kingdom was usurped by force with weapons and technology
由你的岳父提供！ supplied by your father-in-law!
嘿，他也篡夺了我的王国。 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man.
他基本上让我被踢出家门，偷走了我的家人。 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family.
然后我们是兄弟，你会想 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered
如果没有里克，你的生活将会怎样。 what your life could have been without Rick.
想知道吗？当然。 Wondered? Sure.
我的意思是，我想知道是否有阴道。 I mean, I've wondered about having a vagina.
你能帮我杀了他吗？ Would you help me kill him?
什么？不！ What? No!
他是我妻子的父亲，继续。 He's my wife's father. Move on.
你……喜欢主题公园的游乐设施吗？ Do you...|ike theme-park rides?
哦，你真的走了。 Oh, you really moved on.
这里有一个很受欢迎的景点，叫做旋转的迪利。 There is a popular attraction here called the Whirly Dirly.
在第一个旋转和第三个肮脏之间， Between the first whirly and the third dirly,
这段旅程就在不朽的田野之外。 the ride dips just outside the immortality field.
你要我引诱瑞克去死？ You're asking me to lure Rick to his death?
我只是让你和瑞克一起去兜风， I'm only asking you to go on a ride with Rick,
离开瑞克，离开你的家，回到你的家， get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family,
你可以。想知道是否有阴道。 where you can... wonder about having a vagina.
好的，这是一个非常具体的例子 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example
从稀薄的空气中抽出来。 pulled from thin air.
我不想被称为“阴道男”。 I don't want to be known as the vagina guy.
烩饭，你是需要的，有人点了 Risotto, you're needed. Someone ordered
这是一种新鲜的、令人激动的特别的东西。 the Nuzzy Guzzy Fresh and Fluzzy Special.
叹息沮丧地看着，我不像瑞克， [Sighs dejectedly] Look, I'm not like Rick,
所以你可以随心所欲地做。 so you're free to do as you please.
但是在每个人的一生中都有一段时间 But there comes a time in every man's life
当他必须选择基金会的时候 when he must choose the foundation
他的遗产将被建立—— on which his legacy will be built --
一种妥协或一种血。 one of compromise or one of blood.
孩子们在欢呼 [Kids cheering]
"一年一次，这里有一个特别的人" J‘ Once a time of year, there's a special person here J‘
呼呼声 [Whirring]
哦，是的。 Oh, yeah.
这就是我所说的。 That's what I'm talking about.
哦，好了，再往另一边多一点。 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side, then.
哦，来吧！ Oh, come on!
噢，天啊！ [Gasps] Oh, geez!
啊！停！ Aah! Stop!
所以，医院让你直接从那里走出来 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there
把马的零件装在袋子里？ with horse parts in a bag?
看在上帝的份上，莫蒂，女人正在经历离婚 For Christ's sakes, Morty, women going through a divorce
需要一个创造性的出路。 need a creative outlet.
-撞车-那是什么？ -[ Crash ] -What was that?
低沉的声音 [Deep voice groaning]
夏天！ Summer!
咕哝的 [Grunting]
我来了，夏天！ I'm coming, Summer!
到底发生了什么事？ What the hell happened?!
低沉的声音不清晰地喊着 [ Deep voice shouts indistinctly]
我们怎么才能让她恢复正常呢？ How do we get her back to normal?!
我不知道，伙计！这件事很复杂。 I don't know, man! This thing is pretty complicated.
我要打电话给里克 I-I'm gonna call Rick.
等等，我们不能给你爷爷打电话 Well, hold on. We can't just call your grandpa
当有问题的时候。 whenever there's a problem.
我们可以自己解决这个问题。 We can handle this ourselves.
我的意思是，我没有意识到这一点。 I mean, I don't see the point in trying to.
这显然是一坨屎。 This is obviously Rick-level shit.
我有医学学位。 I have a medical degree.
这是关于这个的吗？ Is that what this is about?
你想证明自己吗？ L-Like, you want to prove yourself?
哦，什么都不是，莫蒂。你怎么敢这样？ Oh, it's not about anything, Morty. How dare you?
很好，那我就打个电话——噢！ Okay, good. Then I'll just call -- Ow!
莫蒂，我需要这个。 Morty, I need this.
大笑 [Laughing]
嘿，杰瑞，这里有三只箱子说他知道一个地方 Hey, Jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place
在那里，女士们为任何一个双足行走的人放下内裤。 where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-pedal.
是的，我不是很感兴趣。 Yeah, I'm not really interested.
我的心仍然属于贝丝。 My heart still belongs to Beth.
哦，嗯，好的。 Oh. Huh. Okay.
啜吸声 [Slurps]
什么，你不认为我有机会吗？ What, you don't think l have a shot?
我没有那样说。 I didn't say that.
对不起，我可以再来一份吗？ Excuse me. May I have another one of these?
马上就来。 Coming right up.
嗯，贝丝和我之间的事情并不总是那么糟糕。 Hmm, things weren't always so bad between Beth and me.
在我们年轻的时候，我们度过了一些美好的时光。 We had some good times when we were younger.
哦，是的，我打赌。 Oh, yeah, I bet.
我的朋友，这就是青少年怀孕的过程。 That's how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend.
是的，不，咯咯笑 Yeah, no. [Chuckles]
杰瑞，我明白了。 Jerry, I get it.
那是我和你们一起搬进来的时候。 That's around the time I moved in with you guys.
哦，我想你是对的。 Oh, I guess you're right.
杰瑞，你知道，我希望你不是在暗示 Jerry, you know, I hope you're not suggesting
我和你的婚姻破裂有任何关系， that I had anything to do with your marriage breaking up,
因为你和贝丝之间有一些主要的问题 because there are some major issues between you and Beth
自从你们认识之后就一直在那里。 that have been there since you guys met.
嘿，新的开始。 Hey, to new beginnings.
到那旋转的肮脏的地方。 To the Whirly Dirly.
旋转的肮脏？ The Whirly Dirly?
好吧，这是怎么回事？ All right, what's going on here?
你什么时候变凉的？！ When did you get cool?!
笑 [Laughs]
你偷了我的妻子！ When you stole my wife!
我早就该这么做了！ I should have done that a long time ago!
我们在旋转的肮脏的地方！ We're going on the Whirly Dirly!
宝贝，旋转得很。 Whirly Dirly, baby.
叮当！ [Clink! ]
-啊哈，看这个。 -[ Rumbling ] -Aha, look at this.
它说"正常化"我打赌，如果我们按这个—— It says "normalize." I bet if we just press that --
但是。如果这台机器是由蜘蛛人制造的， But...if the machine was made by spider people,
正常意味着八条腿。 normal would mean eight legs.
哦，天哪！你要再来一次吗？ Oh, God! are you gonna go on another spiel
就像你用彩色蜡笔做的那样？ like you did with the flesh-colored crayon?
我很确定“正常化”会让她变得正常。 I'm pretty sure "normalize" will make her normal.
呼呼声 [Whirring]
深沉的声音啊！ [Deep voice] Aah!
我称之为进步。 I'd call that progress.
-她太大了！-而且很正常！ -She's huge! -And normal!
-不正常！-妈妈！ -|'m not normal! -Mom!
好的，这是“反向”，完成和完成。 Okay, this says "reverse." Done and done.
我不认为这是个好主意。 I don't think that's a good idea.
哦，来吧！还有什么可以“倒转”的意思呢？ Oh, come on! What else could "reverse" possibly mean?
-呼-呼-啊！ -[ Whirrin 9 -Aah! ]
妈妈，打电话给里克！ Mom, call Rick!
谢谢。 Thank you.
这里有一个客户服务电话号码。 There's a customer-service number on here.
-妈妈！-拨号 -Mom! -[ Dialing]
尖叫 [Screaming]
哦，天哪，这太棒了！ Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome!
我得把它交给你，杰瑞。这是个很好的主意。 I got to hand it to you, Jerry. This was a solid idea.
嗯，是的，嗯。 Uh,yeah. Uh-huh.
你知道吗？我会去做的。 And you know what? I'll cop to it.
我给你的婚姻带来了很大的压力。 I put a lot of strain on your marriage.
这是不公平的，我很抱歉。 It wasn't fair. I'm sorry.
-什么？！-我不尊重你的婚姻。 -What?! -I didn't respect your marriage.
我当然没有帮你什么忙。 I certainly didn't do it any favors.
为了它的价值， And for what it's worth,
等我们到家时，我要向贝丝道歉。 I'll apologize to Beth for it when we get home.
哇！旋转得很脏！耶！ Whoo! Whirly Dirly! Yeah!
别骑了！我们得走了。 Stop the ride! We got to get off.
你在说什么，伙计？ What are you talking about, buddy?
我们得离开这个东西，我们得出去！ We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out!
-伙计们-杰瑞，快点，伙计！ -[ Grunts] -Jerry, come on, man!
我们还没有到达第一个旋转的地方。 We haven't even gotten to the first whirly.
不，不，这糟透了，太无聊了。 No, no, this sucks. It's so boring.
我是说，我在这里睡着了。 I mean, I'm falling asleep here.
让我们从两边爬出来。 Let's just get out and crawl down the sides.
两声尖叫 [ Both screaming ]
啊，趴下！趴下！ Ah, get down! Duck down!
当你沮丧的时候，会更有趣。 It's more fun when you scrunch down.
瑞克：杰瑞，什么—— RICK: Jerry, what the --
哦，狗屎。 Oh, shit.
咕哝的 [Grunting]
尖叫 [Screaming]
瑞克，在这儿！有个地方你可以杀了他！ Rick, up here! There's a spot where you can kill him!
好电话，杰瑞！ Good call, Jerry!
-嘿，你怎么知道的？-嗯… -Hey, how'd you know about that? -Uh...
两声尖叫 [ Both screaming ]
都笑了 [Both laughing]
莉莎？ Lisa?
两声尖叫 [ Both screaming ]
那么，呃，杰瑞，那个旋转的肮脏的超级粉丝，是吗？ So, uh, Jerry, big fan of the Whirly Dirly, are you?
现在不是了。很明显地笑。 Not anymore. [Chuckles] Obviously.
但当你是这样的时候，你是怎么知道的呢？ But when you were, how did you know about it?
咕哝的 [Grunting]
我们达成了协议，杰瑞史密斯。 We had a deal, Jerry Smith.
这是一个很常见的名字。 It's a really common name.
现在，别着急，瑞克。 Now, take it easy, Rick.
你经历了一场严重的过山车式的崩溃。 You've been in a serious roller-coaster crash.
现在不是思考的时候 It's -- It's no time to be thinking about
是谁在你的谋杀未遂中起了什么作用。 who did or didn't play a role in your attempted murder.
尖叫把我弄掉了！它在吃我！ [Screams] Get it off me! It's eating me!
听着，我承认，好吗？ Look, I confess, okay?
他们告诉我你对这个星球所做的一切坏事 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet
这让我想起了你对我所做的一切坏事。 and reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me.
但是你说你很抱歉，我意识到 But then you said you were sorry, and I realized
你不是怪物——不是这个东西。 you're not a monster -- not like this thing.
他妈的！这对我很好。 Fuck! It's got me good.
这是一个误导，对吧？ This is a mislead, right?
你在发明一种东西来拯救我。 You're inventing a thing to save me.
那将被称为刀子，杰瑞。 That would be called a knife, Jerry.
它是被发明的。 It's been invented.
我要离开这里，一个座位应该做。 I'm making a way out of here. One seat ought to do it.
对不起，我犯了个错误。 I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake.
-我不会再做了！-从来没有人这么做过。 -I won't do it again! -Nobody ever does.
咕哝的 [Grunting]
你这个自以为是的家伙！ You self-righteous piece of shit!
你带走了我的家人！ You took my family!
我带走了你的家人？ I took your family?
你认为谁会从他们那里得到更多的东西 Who do you think had more taken from them
当你把2000年的液体梦杀手射进我女儿的时候？ when you shot 2000 of liquid dream-killer into my daughter?
她是瑞克的女儿，杰瑞。她有选择！ She was Rick's daughter, Jerry. She had options!
一切都结束了，因为她为你感到难过。 That all ended because she felt sorry for you.
你表现得像猎物，但你是一个捕食者！ You act like prey, but you're a predator!
你用怜悯来诱惑你的受害者！ You use pity to lure in your victims!
这就是你生存的方式！ That's how you survive!
我活下来是因为我什么都知道。 I survive because I know everything.
这些蛇存活下来是因为孩子们在游荡， That snakes survives because children wander off,
你活下来是因为人们认为， and you survive because people think,
“哦，这可怜的家伙。他从来没有休息过。” "Oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break.
我无法忍受震耳欲聋的无声的哭泣 I can't stand the deafening silent wails
他那萎蔫的灵魂。 of his wilting soul.
我想我会雇用他或嫁给他。” I guess I'll hire him or marry him."
瑞克！瑞克！ Rick! [Muffled ] Rick!
我知道你不会让我死的。 I knew you wouldn't let me die.
这从来都不是一个选择。 That was never an option.
因为你从未有过儿子。 Because you never had a son.
不，因为我需要一个活的生物体 No, because I need a living organism
涂上一层蛇胆，以吸引一名shmooglite跑步者。 coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner.
-等等，发生了什么事？-利用这种混乱，杰瑞。 -Wait, what's happening? -Use that confusion, Jerry.
它会让你更像一个被遗弃的新生儿。 It'll make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn.
-低吼-耶稣基督！ -[ Low growling] -Jesus Christ!
他妈的，瑞克？！ What the fuck, Rick?!
救命！救救我！ Help! Help me!
咆哮 [Roaring]
啊！ Aaah!
在南边20英里处有一个太空港。 There's a space port 20 miles south.
我们将能登上一艘银河级游轮 We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship
穿过一个虫洞，它会让我们 and jump through a wormhole that will put us
在离银河不远的地方。 within spitting distance of the Milky Way.
但是，嘿，这是关于旅程的， But, hey, it's about the journey,
不是目的地，对吗，杰瑞？ not the destination, right, Jerry?
吼声 [ Roars]
呻吟 [Moaning]
别动，亲爱的！妈妈还在等着呢。 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom's still on hold.
Morphizer客户服务。我能为您效劳吗？ Morphizer customer service. How may I help you?
是的，我在你的一台机器上遇到了一点麻烦。 Yes, I'm having a little trouble with one of your machines.
哦，我很遗憾听到这个消息，夫人。 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am.
你看到机器边上有个小隔间了吗？ Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine?
让我检查一下，是的，明白了。 Let me check. Yes, got it.
-妈妈？-太好了！ -Mom? -Great!
现在，你看到旁边那个小按钮了吗？ Now, do you see the little button next to it?
-我有。-给那个按钮一个推力。 -I do. -Give that button a push.
-好的-妈妈，听我说！ -Okay. -Mom, listen to me!
我们是自由的！！ We're free!!
好了，我按下按钮，三个小矮人跑了出来。 Okay, so I pushed the button, and three little men ran out.
我接下来要做什么？ What do I do next?
喂？ Hello?
我想我们已经断开了。 I think we got disconnected.
-莫蒂！-不要“莫蒂”我！ -Morty! -Don't "Morty" me!
我骗瑞克带爸爸去冒险 I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure
因为我想我可以休息一下 because I thought I could get a break
从这种狗屎里，但不！ from this kind of shit, but no!
有其父必有其女！ Like father, like goddamn daughter!
你想和瑞克一样，祝贺你！ You want to be like Rick, congratulations!
你太傲慢，太不负责任了！ You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible!
一切都好吗？ Everything okay here?
管好你自己的事吧，吉恩！ Mind your own goddamn business, Gene!
我正在和我妈妈谈话！ I'm having a conversation with my mother here!
吻瑞克的屁股不会帮他把他留在身边，妈妈， Kissing Rick's ass isn't gonna help him keep him around, Mom,
但它会帮助你失去其他所有人。 but it will help you lose everyone else.
就像我失去了夏天一样。 Like I lost Summer.
嘿，你还没有失去她。 Hey, you haven't lost her yet.
不，我当然知道了。她走了。 No, I definitely did. She's gone.
该死的！ God damn it!
哔哔声 [ Beeping ]
请继续。 Go ahead.
警报信号 [Alarm blares]
-哦，来吧。-发生什么事了？ -Oh, come on. -What's happening?
你的朋友有C级或以上的控制增强能力。 Your friend has class C or above cybernetic augmentations.
强调上面的内容。 Emphasis on the above.
无论如何，他需要被中和。 In any case, he needs to be neutralized.
-什么？！等等！-啊！ -What?! Wait! -Ugh!
呻吟着。 [Groans] Brain hurty.
你做了什么？ What did you do?
它是一种阻止暴力倾向的突触阻尼器 It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies
以及有争议的想法。 and controversial thought.
现在他将成为一名乘客 He will now be anidealpassengeL
我想要饼干和90分钟的“阿凡达”。 I want cookies and a 90-minute cut of "Avatar."
真的吗？ Seriously? [Snapping ]
-别这样。-6小时后就会消失。 -Quit it. -|t'|| wear off in six hours.
这比禁止危险的人乘飞机便宜。 It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights.
我的意思是，让每个人都买一张票，对吧？ I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right?
否则，恐怖分子就赢了。 Otherwise, the terrorists win.
啊！ Aah!
对不起，我不是典型的母性原型。 I'm sorry I'm not a classic maternal archetype.
好吧，当你们来找我的时候我不知道该怎么做 Okay, I don't know what to do when you people come to me
你的青春期问题很奇怪。 with your weird puberty issues.
当你女儿问你的时候你会怎么做 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you
如果她有吸引力？ if she's attractive?
-“说”，“是的”！-莫蒂，恶心！ -|'|| say, "Yes"! -Morty, gross!
好吧，她会非常火辣的。她妈妈会是杰西卡。 Well, she's gonna be super hot. Her mother's gonna be Jessica.
等等，夏天什么时候问你的？！ Wait, when did Summer ask you that?!
就在她克莱夫开始做自己的事之前，为什么？ Right before she Clive Barkered herself. Why?
等等，我知道她在哪儿！ Wait, I know where she is!
伊桑和夏本应该去露营， Ethan and Summer were supposed to go camping,
然后他把夏天甩给了这个女孩崔茜卡兰格， and then he dumped Summer for this girl Tricia Lange,
谁有了巨大的胸部，就把她带走了。 who's got huge boobies, and took her.
露营地——那个名字听起来像某人的名字 Campsite -- The one with the name that sounds like somebody
在命名的中途放弃了。 gave up halfway through naming it.
嗯……弗拉班纳巴营地！ Uh...Camp Flabanabba!
妈妈来了，宝贝。 Mama's coming, baby.
妈妈来了，她很关心你的头衔！ Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties!
他们有甜的蜂蜜饼干。 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies.
嗯！还有低热量的石油片。 Mmm! And low-calorie petroleum flakes.
显然是饼干。 Obviously cookies.
那我们来给你弄点雪花吧。 Let's get you the flakes, then.
好吧，但这不是我想要的。 Okay, but it's not what I wanted.
好吧，也许下一次，你不会 Well, maybe next time, you won't be
如此愚蠢的狗屎，你可以自己挑选。 such a dumb piece of shit and you can pick for yourself.
-那不太好。-那是什么？ -That's not nice. -What's that?
你有一个有争议的想法吗？ Did you just have a controversial thought?
-不。-我就是这么想的，婊子。 -No. -That's what I thought, bitch.
你这个小屁屁。 You little punk-ass.
这是最好的。 [Chuckles] This is the best.
我同意，你让事情变得更简单了 I agree. You've made things even easier
而不是你没有能力。 than if you hadn't been incompetent.
哦，我们现在就开始射击了。 Uh-oh. We get shoot-shoot now.
男：好吧，伙计们，如果你能坐下来， MAN: All right, folks, if you could please take your seats,
我们即将进入虫洞。 we're about to enter the wormhole.
所以，我希望每个人都先买个晚餐。 So, I hope everybody bought a dinner first.
-笑一笑。-很好。 -[ Chuckles] Nice. -Nice.
-格伦-杰瑞，到那边去 -[ Grunts ] -Jerry, step over there
把自己锁在逃生舱里。 and lock yourself in the escape pod.
-你没杀我们？-我要杀了瑞克。 -You're not killing us? -l'm killing Rick.
你自由了，你对我和任何人都没有威胁。 You're free to go. You're no threat to me or anyone.
现在你只是一个卑鄙的人。 Now you're just being mean.
是的，你是卑鄙的！没有冒犯的意思。 Yeah, you're mean! No offense.
你的意思是，杰瑞。 Mean would be shooting you, Jerry.
这是在拯救一颗子弹。 This is saving a bullet.
回到你那不知羞耻的家庭 Go back to your quietly ashamed family
活出你的余生 and live out the rest of your days
拒绝你的阴道幻想。 in denial of your vagina fantasies.
每个人都有过这样的想法！ It was a one-time thought that everyone has!
咕哝的 [Grunting]
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
我正得意洋洋！ I'm being triumphantly brave!
这不是胜利或勇敢。 It's not triumphant or brave.
你不会冒任何风险。 You're not risking anything.
你可能会杀了我。 You might shoot me.
我想你知道我不会的。 I think you know I won't.
因为你知道我为你感到难过。 Because you know I feel sorry for you.
你这样做是为了告诉你自己 You're just doing this so you can tell yourself
你打了——啊！ you fought -- Ow!
嗡嗡声 [Buzzing]
人：时间盾受损。 WO MAN: Temporal shield compromised.
恭喜你，杰瑞。你得死一个人。 Congratulations, Jerry. You get to die a man.
哦，没关系！ Uh, that's okay! PHleave!
请不要开枪，我是阴道男，记得吗？ Please don't shoot. I-I'm the vagina guy, remember?
哇！我怎么了？ Whoa! What is happening to me?
这是哪里？我在哪里？ Where is this? Where am I?
我死了吗？我——我——我还活着吗？ Am I dead? A-Am I -- Am I still alive?
里克：这些都不是你应该问的问题。 RICK: Those aren't the questions you should be asking.
-啊？！-嘘！ -Huh?! -Shh!
抓 [Cawing ]
打嗝 [Burping]
滴答声 [Ticking ]
吃吃地笑啊，得了吧！ [Chuckles] Ah, got ya!
过来，你这个小南瓜。 Come here, you little pumpkin.
我的屁股上有屎。 I have shit on my ass.
哇，妈的！ Whoa, fuck this!
我是谁？ Who am I?
我是时间！我是时间！ I'm time! I'm literally time!
全部：VVhooooa！ ALL: VVhooooa!
啊！ Aah!
哦，上帝，我觉得我们的灵魂是统一的， Oh, God. I feel like our souls were united,
我们都是永恒的。 and we were all one with eternity.
我们的身体没有变化， Our body's unchanged,
然而，我们的思想已经活了一千次。 yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes.
我有足够的时间原谅你吗？ Is that enough time for me to forgive you?
我不知道，但是时间足够了 I don't know, but it's enough time
为了让一个突触的阻尼器磨损。 for a synaptic dampener to wear off.
流行 [POP]
耶稣！ Jesus!
他还没有决定要杀我们！ He hadn't decided he was still going to kill us!
他在自言自言，我以前见过。 He was talking himself into it. I've seen it before.
宇宙神化的速度比salvia快。 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia.
我开始相信你因为我刚刚完成了合并 I'm starting to believe you because I just finished merging
以你的本质为一个无穷无尽的时代， with your essence for an endless epoch,
而我又回到了你的想法，认为你是个混蛋。 and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole.
我很好，我们走各自的路吧。 Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways.
听起来像你和"时代"这个词 Sounds like you and the word "epoch"
有很多事情要做。 have a lot of catching up to do.
等等，别离开我！ Wait, don't leave me!
男：好吧，伙计们，你可以自由地站起来 MAN: All right, folks, you're free to get up
绕着小屋走一圈 and walk around the cabin
也可以把虫洞带出去吃早餐。 and maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast.
男2：好的，你可以做晚餐 MAN #2: Okay, you can do the dinner one
或者是早餐，但不是两者都有。 or the breakfast one, but not both.
你认为你把那个东西弄明白了吗？ You think you got that thing figured out?
是的，我知道我在做什么。 Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
贝丝：很好，因为我有个主意。 BETH: Good. Because I have an idea.
它实际上是“一些”和“更多”的收缩。 It's actually a contraction of "some" and "more."
-你看到了吗？-哦，哇。 -You see that? -Oh, wow.
我很不习惯。 I was way off.
咆哮 [Roaring]
两声尖叫 [ Both screaming ]
朦胧地呻吟 [Groaning indistinctly]
两个人都不清楚地呻吟着 [Both groaning indistinctly]
莫蒂，这是怎么回事？ Morty, what's happening here?
夏天进了我爷爷的车库， Summer got into my grandpa's garage,
乱成一圈，把自己变成了一个怪物。 messed around, and turned herself into a monster.
我妈妈也做了同样的事让她感觉好点。 My mom did the same to make her feel better.
她是个好妈妈。 She's a good mom.
双笑 [ Both chuckle]
哦，天哪，我得去给我妈打电话了！ Oh, my God. I have to go call my mother!
-崔茜卡，等等！-莫蒂：伊桑！伊桑！ -Tricia, wait! -MORTY: Ethan! Ethan!
嘿，没事的。坐下。 Hey, it's okay. Sit down.
你让我妹妹哭了，伊桑。 You made my sister cry, Ethan.
你搞砸了她的身体形象。 You messed with her body image.
-看，莫蒂，我-嘘，嘘，嘘。 -Look, Morty, I -- -Shh, shh, shh.
小心，伊森。你的s更多的是燃烧。 Careful, Ethan. Your s'more is burning.
哔哔声 [ Beep, whirring]
峡谷 [Gulps]
呃，我想我们最好还是在同一页上 Uh, I guess we better get on the same page
关于我们的假冒险。 about our fake adventure.
-好的。-“让你做个交易。” -Right. -|'|| make you a deal.
我将把你想要谋杀我的那部分排除在外。 I'll leave out the part where you tried to murder me...
我就不讲了 And I'll leave out the part
你承认破坏了我们的婚姻。 where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage.
你想…… You want to...
不，如果家人看到我这样， Nah, if the family sees me like this,
他们会为我感到难过。 they'll feel sorry for me.
这已不再是我的招牌动作了。 Which is no longer my signature move.
晚些时候，阿梅戈。 Later days, amigo.
实际上，我刚意识到，我没有钱包， Actually, I just realized, I don't have my wallet,
我的公共汽车通行证就在那里，所以也许—— and my bus pass is in there, so maybe --
坚强点，杰瑞。我相信你！ Stay strong, Jerry. I believe in you!
锁定点击 [ Lock clicks]
呼呼声 [Whirring]
叹息 [Sighs]
戏剧音乐戏剧 [Dramatic music plays]
我告诉你，伙计们。这就是生活。 I tell you, fellas. This is the life.
这当然是。 It certainly is.
为了自由！ To freedom!
呻吟 [Groaning]
哦！看起来像4-22。 Ooh! Looks like a 4-22.
哦，在缩放旋钮上有一对小曲柄 Ooh, a couple cranks on the scaling knob
有4个双细胞的交叉衰减会在一个jiff中解决这个问题。 with a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that up in a jiff.
4？你很幸运能清除13%的非道德化 Four? You'd be lucky to clear 13% de-morphized
有了这样的范围。 with that kind of range.
先生们，先生们，我们达成了什么共识？ Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on?
一起：没有工作谈话！ TOGETHER: No work talk!
让我们放松一下，享受我们的退休生活吧， Let's just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall --
-鸟的尖叫-哦，我的天！ -[ Bird screeches] -Oh, my God!
啊！ Aaah!