## OP / ED ##
## SIGNS ##
## SCRIPT ##
The Hero Yoshihiko and the Demon King's Castle starts right now!
Hey, you guys! I think I learned a new skill.
Hmm? What is it?
Check it out. Here we go!
She's in some kind of daze.
I believe I could easily defeat this woman.
Amazing! What a useful skill!
I call this skill 'Drunken Eyes'.
You don't know how hard it is for me not to call this "Poo-Brain Eyes." You really don't know.
I see. Murasaki acquired the 'Drunken Eyes' skill.
I'd like to see you use it in the next battle.
Now. Excuse me for bringing this up during Murasaki's big moment...
But I have an announcement.
I have also learned... a new spell.
What is it, Melub?
Bet it's somethin' useless.
Murasaki. You are dumb. And also flat-chested.
This spell should be useful against powerful enemies.
What's the spell? Tell us.
It instantly increases an ally's defense.
Such a spell exists? Amazing.
I call this spell... the mysterious...
Polycopene!
Yes, that's what I call it.
Polycopene?
My spell creates polyphenol, plentiful in grapes, and lycopene, plentiful in tomatoes,
and injects it directly into one ally.
Amazing!
About how much?
I'd say about four bunches of grapes' worth of polyphenol, and...
Three... and a half tomatoes' worth of lycopene?
That doesn't seem like a lot.
It doesn't seem like much, but if you keep it up, it really cleans up your blood.
It helps to guard against conditions like strokes and arteriosclerosis. Things like that.
We need protection against enemies, not diseases!
What an incredible spell!
Cast it on me at once!
Always in such a rush, Yoshihiko.
Polycopene!
I can feel my blood cleaning up!
My body's movements are so much smoother...
I'm not entirely sure that makes sense...
I'm certain that my defense has gone up!
Melub! Strike me with your staff!
Sure.
My defense HAS gone up!
Ow!
Hey... he just said ow.
It hurts him. The man's in pain.
I'm getting to the age where I should worry about my health.
Would you cast it on me as well?
Why don't you just eat better and exercise?
Very well.
Polycopene!
If we keep this up for two weeks... you might start to feel it then.
Might start to feel it after two weeks?
POLYPHENOOOOL!
LYCOPENE!
There's Fat J with his humpback letter
Gettin' pretty sick of these posers all around
Get yourself an afro if you wanna make a difference
The whole world needs you now, Funkanizer!
Internet, radio, and television
All pouring out information non-stop
It's just pulling me back and forth
My head's about to explode!
Love it! Love it! Evolution!
Love it! Love it! Revolution!
I want to see my true face in the mirror
I know that some day I'll wither away!
Get it up! Get it up! Haha, baby!
Get it up! Get it up! I can't sit still!
Let's do this with color and style! Hey!
A no-budget action-adventure series
You sure this'll be okay?
The Hero Yoshihiko and
the Demon King's Castle
Seven
What's the next item we need to fight the Demon King?
Right now we're just people walkin' around a forest.
Oh, Buuuddha!
Pwease come and talk to us!
If you don't, Muwasaki will cwy!
C'mon, Buddha's got more dignity than to come out for some half-assed cutesy act.
Here I am!
No dignity at all!
The glasses if you please, Melub.
Here I am, dignity-free!
Hello, there! I'm the Buddha.
C'mon, do it cutesy!
Nya~ I'm the Buddnya~ Nya nya~
I don't take requests from you, jerk.
Buddha. What is the next item I must acquire to defeat the Demon King?
A fine question, Yoshihiko.
Having acquired the Angel's Robe, the Shoes of Invincibility, and the Demon's... uh, Robe...
De... Demon's Robe? You're getting 'em all mixed up.
The next item you need to fight the Demon King... is...
Let's find out.
What the hell is this awards show shit.
And who's writing the cards?
The Dragon Shield.
Where can we find it?
Oh... you know.
It's like... you know...
Pagora Village. Right?
Pagora Village, right to the east. Okay, go on.
But you'll have to go through stuff to get it.
See, Pagora Village is— oh, excuse me!
Oh, come on!
Pagora Village
Certainly seems a lively place.
It must be a trading town.
Let's ask someone.
Excuse me. Where can we find the Dragon Shield?
This is Pagora Village. It's a prosperous town!
Excuse me. Where can we find the Dragon Shield?
I want to earn money so I can become rich like Mr. Ladman.
Their answers are all total non-sequiturs...
Well, that's about standard for a new town.
Hey... that guy's singing.
A troubadour, eh?
Wealthy men who are blinded by gold
Collect rare goods from around the world
With rare artifacts they line their walls
Swords and armor, shields and halberds!
Though they have no use for them personally!
What a helpful clue!
A clue?
Well... he just told us where the shield was.
I'm sorry... it was such an amazing song, I just got sucked in.
An amazing song?
Well, he did have a nice voice.
Anyway, he basically said we'll find the Dragon Shield at the rich man Ladman's house.
I see.
I understand, but I'm not sure Mr. Ladman will be so obliging.
We need to defeat the Demon King. Surely we can work something out.
Still nothing? But I thought I made myself clear!
I was sure they'd be able to do it...
Are you Mr. Ladman?
And if I am?
-Who are you people? -Oh!
They require the Dragon Shield from sir's collection to defeat the Demon King, it seems.
If you don't mind.
Oh that thing.
That's one of those things I pulled from the tomb of a distant king. It's...
Wait a minute.
Come on in! I'll show it to you.
It is pretty spectacular!
You'll give it to us, then? We thank you!
I didn't say that.
Then why'd you show it to us? Just braggin'?
Like I need to brag!
He's so bragging.
Rich people are so gross.
They so are.
I want it.
It's not a candy store.
I'll give it to you... on one condition.
I own a five-story pagoda on the western mount.
I bought it because I was told God lived there.
But it wasn't making money that way, so I decided to rent it out.
Except my deadbeat tenants haven't paid their rent in ages.
I thought you might go there and get what was owed.
It seems simple enough.
However! The five men living in that tower are vicious killers.
I've sent several parties out to collect from them,
and not ONE of them has come back alive.
Ugh, sounds super-gross.
No matter what monsters we may face, I, Danjo, will return with your rent.
Sure, that's what they all say.
Let us be off.
That's a Hero for ya.
Just a minute. We know the shield is right here.
Why don't we come back later and steal it?
You're not supposed to say that right in front of me, y'know.
We could also just take it and run.
That's true.
Cut it out.
I see... truly a magnificent tower.
Hey... you think this is the kinda thing where the enemies get stronger as we go up?
Don't worry. We'll acquire the Dragon Shield at any cost.
That's the Hero I know.
Let us begin.
Oh, his knees buckled again! He can't even walk!
He's back to the baby fawn act!
It's not unheroic to be afraid.
Yeah, but he can't fight like this, seriously.
This appears to be... Jaitan.
Jaitan
Hey, you punks! Whaddya want?
Mr. Ladman sent us to collect your rent.
Not another one!
This is my place!
No, it isn't.
This is a rental property.
It doesn't become yours no matter how long you live here.
What is this feeling?
There's something familiar about this. I think maybe this does belong to him!
Or maybe it doesn't! I'm not sure.
What are you doing?! Give back my sword!
Shut up!
What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine!
Ah... I see.
That sword belongs to Jaitan.
What are you talking about, Yoshihiko? That's your sword!
Yeah! Yeah!
Oh no! Why did I give him that?
What's with you guys?
Oh no! Give back my sword! Give back my Beckoning Sword!
Shaddup! Stupid Yoshihiko!
I want to cry to someone.
I want to cry to someone blue and round.
Yoshihiko has been transformed into Nobita from Doraemon.
Hey! Snap out of it, you guys!
Mama! Melon! Mama! Melon!
Apparently this is a thing of Suneo from Doraemon.
I want to do cat's cradle! I need to do cat's cradle, now!
You're a sorcerer, aren't you!
You cast some sort of spell on them!
Okay! Time for my super-awesome recital!
Recital?
It's no use! The noise is overpowering!
I've never heard something so revolting!
Cut it out, Jaitan!
It's no use...
I'm about to faint...
We have to stop him...
Hey! Tsuyoshi!
I told you to keep down that singing!
It's time for you to tend the store!
But mooooom, these guyyyys...
Who are you people!
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid Jaitan hasn't paid his rent, so...
How could you?!
C'mon mom, lay off!
You good-for-nothing boy!
I'll pay the rent, I promise!
You certainly will!
It seems we've cleared the first floor.
Kind of a lucky punch, but yeah.
Floor 2F
Kisara
Ah? You made it this far.
Jaitan lost, huh?
Big surprise. What a weakling.
Kisara. Would you mind paying your back rent?
Apparently this is a comedian named Hori doing his Kimura Takuya impression.
Not much for small talk, are ya?
Chill out a min, 'kay?
We have little time. We must defeat the Demon King.
Gotcha. Sorry, not so good at the urgency thing.
Anyway, girl.
How 'bout you ditch the dirt patrol, hit up dinner at my bistro with me.
Then you guys can do whatevs.
Silence!
Murasaki may be a girl, but she is a formidable warrior fighting to defeat the Demon King.
She would never go along with a man like y—
... what.
Oh no! This time, Murasaki has fallen for the enchantment.
C'mon, babe.
Oh, Kisara!
What's with this outfit?
It's super hot.
This is bad... Murasaki is melting.
Let's do this.
A bow!
In this tiny room?!
Oh, Kisara's firing a bow! I'm melting!
Okay. First guy.
Look out, Yoshihiko!
A fine dodge, Yoshihiko.
But he's not going to wait long. We must remain on guard!
Can't count on dodging again!
Here it comes! Here it comes!
Hey, do you...
Do you only have... one arrow?
I think he does. I don't see any others.
Time out, guys. Time out.
Very well. Time out.
What? You're giving him the time out?
He's going for it. He's getting the arrow. Hey!
Yeah, there's the arrow...
And... there he is. He's pulled it out.
He's walking back. He's walking back to his original spot.
And now he's... he's gonna fire. He's gonna fire again!
Yep. He's taking his stance. Ah!
So that's what he was after!
Yoshihiko. You are so dumb. Three times: dumb dumb dumb!
Oh, you look so cool!
Okay. First guy.
Look out!
Wait. Wait, just, time out.
Time out, then.
You gotta be kidding. You're giving him another time out?
He's going... he's doing it again!
Why are we waiting? He's getting the arrow!
Hey... he can't reach it! That's great!
Let me help you.
What?! You're helping him?!
Why? Just leave it!
Danjo. Could you help us?
You asked Danjo? Really?
You gotta be kidding.
Come on! Just leave it!
There we go. He got it. Come on!
Why did you get it— and give it to him?!
You just gave it to him! He's going! He's going back!
He's going back to his place again!
There he is! The third shot's coming! He's pulling back!
Coward!
You idiot! This is seriously your fault!
Right. First guy.
Uh...
Ah, crap.
No more time outs.
Hey. Hey, time out!
What's your problem, man?
Are you alright, Murasaki?
Sorry. It's like I was hypnotized or something.
Let's press on.
Not so sure about this 'they get more powerful the higher you go' thing anymore.
Floor 3F
Look at that wuss! I think they get weaker the higher we go!
His name is Suzuki, even.
Suzuki
Don't say that!
Apologize! You're embarrassing the Suzukis of Japan.
Ow!
Oh... hey.
Can I help you?
We may be able to negotiate with this one.
It seems you owe a bit of back rent, sir. We're here to collect.
What? I haven't paid it?
Oh! It completely slipped my mind!
You just forgot? That is a relief.
I'm so sorry. I'll pay it right now.
I'm so sorry you had to come all the way out here.
Hey, he's a pretty nice guy.
Can I offer you some tea, perhaps?
I'm afraid we can't stay long. We have your neighbors to visit.
Oh...
Are you a magician, by chance?
Oh, you could tell that?
Actually... I know a spell, too. Just one.
Oh, one spell? How about that!
What's with the big man attitude?
You may know a lot of spells but they're all completely useless.
That's amazing, Mr. Suzuki.
Do you think you could cast it on me?
Me? Are you sure?
Man, it's been so long, it might not work...
C'mon, give it a try. We'd all like to see it.
Well, if you insist. Okay.
It's Thwack?!
Dragon Quest spell, Zaraki, instantly kills a group of enemies
How can I help you?
Er...
Save your game?
No...
Revive your party?
Can you do that?
For a price.
For Danjo: 90 Gold.
For Murasaki: 50 Gold.
For Melub: 5 Gold.
Those are the prices.
I don't... have that much money.
Well...
You'll have to earn it, then, won't you?
Earn it?
Go beat up some rich monsters.
Right.
They're so heavy, though...
Excuse me... are you worth a lot of gold?
Probably about 120 Gold!
Good. I'm going to defeat you.
I'm sorry... dragging them around was so taxing.
I could only get 142 Gold.
Ah, 3 Gold short, then.
In that case, I can bring two of them back fully, and the other...
You'll need to settle for a partial resurrection.
You can resurrect them partially?
I can.
I'm so sorry about casting that spell.
No... it's my fault for asking, after all.
I'm going to go out fishing for a while.
Sorry again.
No, it's our fault. Sorry.
Well, I really should learn a different spell...
It was amazing, though.
I just didn't think it would be so effective!
Yoshihiko... you made a serious misfire, there.
If you're only gonna bring someone back halfway, pick the mage.
He's already half-assed, after all.
Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
... though I can't fully disagree.
Come on. Look at the old man...
I simply can't!
I'm simply done with fighting. I'm far too afraid.
I thought Danjo at half-strength would still be powerful.
We're going upstairs, aren't we?
You three run along. I'll stay here and look after the place.
You're very strong, after all.
Floor 4F
Tadata
Today, this Zenithian Armor is a mere 300 Gold!
All actual DQ equipment.
Just 300 Gold, ladies and gents!
And if you buy now, I'll throw in this Silk Bisuche,
and this Robe of Serenity as well!
It's so cute...
But that's not all!
You'll also be getting this Chimaera Wing, this Yggdrasil Leaf...
And this 25" analog television!
Hey woah, that's too much.
Why would we want that?
It's no use! I must buy!
Oh don't, Yoshihiko.
In addition, Japanet will cover all shipping costs!
They cover shipping, too?!
If you're still unsure, I'll throw in...
Another 25" analog television!
For the same low low price!
Two televisions...
You must resist, Yoshihiko! Please!
They're both analog, anyway.
If you're still not tempted, I'll throw in this rent!
Do it now!
Tadata... a truly terrifying enemy.
Even if you defeat me, the top floor will be your undoing!
The renter there has lived here forty years!
He's a legendary martial artist who once defeated ten black bears at once!
Can't just get out while we're ahead, can we?
The guy up top sounds pretty strong.
It does seem like a dangerous fight ahead.
Perhaps I should go alone.
Ah?
No... I shan't leave you.
I cannot let you go alone, dear Yoshihiko...
NEVER!
Woah! He overcame the half-ass through sheer willpower!
What are you talking about?
Floor 5F
Ooyama
Excuse me...
... the hell are you people?
Well...
You have some back rent... we're here to collect.
Oh, you think you can get money from me?
I'll take you all on!
I'll take you...
I'll take... you all.
I'll take you all...
Are... are you alright?
You've let your guard down! Bear-Killer Punch!
Please... don't strain yourself. You can rest.
Well... he has lived here forty years.
Makes sense he'd be an old man by now.
But they said he defeated ten black bears...
That was thirty years ago, dumbass!
He's kinda old and frail now.
Silence, woman!
Bear-Killer Kick!
C'mon, help him out.
KICK!
Stop it, Murasaki!
I have an offer for you, sir.
Would you join my party and travel with us?
Yoshihiko. Please don't recruit this guy.
It seems I've finally found a worthy opponent!
I decided if I ever met someone stronger than me, I'd pay him my rent!
Thank you.
But if you would join our party and—
NO!
So now we have four of the items we need.
So that's it, right?
I figure we still need some armor and maybe a new sword.
That's a fair point.
Anyway... let's put this in the wagon.
How long has that been in place?
Well, what do we need to get next? Buddha!
Hey, Buddha! Where do we go next?
Seriously, you guys...
Maybe I set a bad precedent before, but...
You don't get to pick when I come out and talk to you.
Were you in the bath? Woah, you're so pale!
You got a problem? Even Buddhas need baths.
You don't even have hair! What are you washing?
Quiet, you. Stupid flatty.
Hey, you! We've had that joke three times in just two episodes!
Sorry. My bad.
Anyway, head east.
Just go east, and like...
You'll run into a village called Akibara. Go there.
Hey, don't drink your milk here!
Mmm!
Anyway. Hit up that village, and you'll find the Philosopher's Mail!
Philosopher's Mail?
And that's a wrap!
Huh? You saw him without the glasses?
No... I just listened in.
Akibara Village, eh?
Let's go.
Next time we want something from that guy, let's just have Murasaki yell at him.
Brother...
I am so worried for you.
Hisa!
Hurry!
The guards are after us!
I want to find you waiting for me
On the day, at the place we agreed upon
It's not much of a song, but I wrote it for you
And I'll play it for you now
Because I'm still in love with you
Because I still have things to say to you
In hope that my song might reach you
I'll keep singing it into the wind
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or organizations is coincidental.
A turning point in a Hero's career...
There's a shrine you can go to to change your job.
Yoshihiko, an Idol? No way, man!
We got this Goof-Off Hero in your place...
Tee-hee!
I'd like to hold a vote.
A vote?
Yoshihiko you stupid good-for-nothing—
We'll be releasing DVDs of Hero Yoshihiko and the Demon King's Castle.
It's full of scenes you can't see in the regular broadcast!
Visit the home page or the mobile site for more info.
Do enjoy it.