《高玩救未来》前情提要 Previously on Future Man...
-我们认识吗 -我是邱西 - Do I know you? - I'm J... uh, Joosh.
-暴狼呢 -他走了 - Where's Wolf? - He's gone.
要吹了 Fire in the hole!
你对克罗尼什说了什么 What the fuck did you say to Kronish?
我来自未来 I'm from the future!
那是克罗尼什馆 That's the Kronitorium,
制造超级解药的地方 也是生化人诞生的地方 where the supercure was engineered, where the Biotics were born.
挽救这事只有一个办法 我要自己去 There's only one way to fix this and I'm doing it by myself.
我们送你回家吧 士兵 Let's get you home, soldier.
为了你回来 想着你是我们的救世主 Coming back for you, thinking you were our savior?
这是我这辈子犯过的最大的错误 That was the biggest mistake I've made in my life.
别放弃我 Don't give up on me!
2017年12月19日 洛杉矶
好吧 Okay...
先生 有什么需要帮助的吗 Sir, can I help you?
我去 卡尔 Holy shit! Carl!
我认识你吗 Do I know you?
不 我是 我是乔西·福特曼 No, I'm... I'm Josh Futterman,
我在这工作 I... I work here.
系统里应该有我 我只是忘带证件了 Should be in the system, I just forgot my ID.
乔西·福特曼 普罗米修斯规章
够了 Ow, okay!
行了吧 All right!
再来就把你逮捕了 Come back and we'll have you arrested.
那边去 那边去 拜托 Okay, go over there, go over there, please go.
走开 走开 不不 Go away, go away, no, no, no!
斯图 Stu!
我是占了你位置吗 抱歉 Did I take your bench? I'm sorry.
不 斯图 是我 No, Stu, it's me, what...
你在干什么 what are you doing?
这个时间线是怎么了 The fuck is going on with this timeline?
搞什么 What the...
杰法兹 Oh, uh, hey hey, JFUTZ!
你提前回来了 哥们 You're home earls, bro.
澳门怎么样 喜欢吗 How was Macau, you rock that shit?
潮流警报 Trend alert!
看来我得跟皮革网眼说拜拜了 I'll have to say goodbye to that leather and mesh, huh?
你好 复古男 你穿着真好看 Hello, retro! You pull it off great.
比赛怎么样 How was the tourney?
观众看起来很疯狂 比暴雪嘉年华规模还大 The crowd looked sick, like, bigger than BlizzCon,
超级疯狂 like, sick, dude.
嗯 嗯 比暴雪嘉年华规模还大 Yeah, yeah, it was bigger than BlizzCon for sure.
很疯狂 人特别多 It was crazy, there were so many people.
我觉得我时差还没倒过来 I'm suffering from jet lag at the moment, I feel like.
时差 哥们 你飞的是私人飞机 Jet lag... dude, you fly private.
他们不是设计成不用倒时差吗 Don't they, like, engineer out the jet lag?
-私人飞机 -是啊 - Private? - Yeah.
我想他们 Yeah, I think they're...
这是他们正在研发 摸索 it's a new technology they're working on,
一个新科技 我父母呢 figuring out... hey, uh, where are my parents?
在你把他们安置到的那个酷炫公寓里 还能在哪 At the dope-ass condo you put them in, where else would they be?
世界最孝顺儿子警报 World's Greatest Son alert!
我能失陪一下吗 Can you excuse me just a minute?
我他妈是在哪 Where the fuck am I?
不 Oh no.
我叫邱西 My name is Joosh.
女士们先生们 有请杰法兹 Ladies and gentlemen, JFUTZ!
2017TED演讲 这不是卖出 这是兑现 杰法兹的故事
我他妈是在哪 Where the fuck am I?
出售美国在线股份大赚一笔
巴里叔叔 Uncle Barry?
他听了我的建议 He took my advice!
机器人公司"未来侠"创始人
还用了我的名字 And took my name.
不可能 No way!
喝邱西 贱人 Drink JOOSH, biatch!
增加口渴度 刺激大脑 Hype your thirst, punch your brain!
净值 六百万欧元
好多钱 I think that's a lot of money.
我操 我在伊维萨岛 Holy shit, I'm in Ibiza!
无敌了 邱西 我的天 Fuck yeah, Joosh. Oh my...
我有一辆宾利 I have a Bentley.
开启雨林模式 Engaging rainforest mode.
雨林模式 Rainforest mode?
我的生活太赞了 My life rules!
高玩救未来 第一季 第十二集 By aBu 20180114
第十二章 序幕到末日
别管了 Oh, hey, don't worry about that.
你不用干的 You don't have to do that,
有人帮我打扫 对吗 I got somebody to clean that shit up for me, don't I?
是的 当然 Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
我们通知了大伙 像往常一样 Well, uh, we alerted the crew, as per ushe,
不过如果你时差还没倒过来 but if you're, like, super jet lagged,
我们可以叫他们滚蛋 we could tell them to fuck off.
什么 What?
别别 我想见大伙 会很棒的 No, don't tell them that, I'd love to see the crew, it'd be great.
-好 -你宝贝今天要从日本回来 - Okay. - Oh, and your bae is getting back from Japan today.
不可能 No way!
宝贝这么快就要从日本回来吗 Bae's coming back so soon?
今早收到提醒说天命在路上了 砰 Just got an alert this morning that Destiny is en route, bam!
她要来了 She's coming.
太好了 That's amazing.
希望她不要太累 I hope she's not too tired, though.
我们有好多事要聊 We got a lot of catching up to do.
记住我的话 Mark my words.
六年后 州长会是艾莫·克鲁尼 In six years, Governor Amal Clooney.
-政治 -毫不怀疑 - Oh, politics! - No doubt.
你们去哪了 Where the hell have you guys been?
-40年代 -90年代 - The '40s. - '90s.
这里肯定有可卡因 There's gotta be some coke in here somewhere.
所以你是说这一切 So you're telling me that all that happened,
你们多年的生活 years of your lives,
就发生在我从克罗尼什馆 happened in the time that it took me
到这所房子之间的这段时间吗 to get from the Kronitorium to this house?
是的 Yeah.
我才到这儿20分钟 I've been here for like 20 minutes.
时空穿梭能震撼你的认知 Time travel's a real mindfuck.
壁纸是换了吗 Is that different wallpaper?
你有可卡因吗 You got any coke?
-没有 -你觉得楼下的太空大盗有吗 - No! - You think those space pirates downstairs have a hookup?
首先他们是我朋友 First of all, those are my friends,
不是太空大盗 其次 not space pirates, and second of all,
你得戒毒 暴狼 you need to clean up, Wolf.
听着 感谢你的关心 Okay, look. I appreciate the concern,
不过我想如果我能吸一点可卡因的话 but I think if I just had a little cocaine,
我就能清晰思考了 I'd be able to think straight.
然后我就戒 我发誓 And then I'll quit, I swear.
一撮海洛因也行 Crack is fine too, in a pinch.
天啊 暴狼 90年代把你害得不轻啊 God, Wolf, the '90s hit you hard.
够了 别再扯这些有的没的了 Okay, enough of this jibber-jabber.
我们得逃走 All right, we gotta skedaddle.
如果克罗尼什馆存在 If the Kronitorium exists,
那我们就不知道克罗尼什还要多久能制造出解药 then we don't know how far along Kronish is with the cure.
可能已经面世了 It might already be out there.
好 但我们没有时空穿梭装置 Okay, but we don't even have a TTD.
-我们要怎么办 -我们得讨论下 - What are we doing to do? - Well, we gotta get the skinny
那大楼里有些什么 on what we're up against in that building.
我根本进不去 Well, I can't even go into the building
我觉得你们也不该进去 and I don't think that you should either.
接住浆果 接住浆果 Catch that berry, catch that berry, whoa!
这样吧 How about this, okay?
我留在这 帮助暴狼戒毒 How about I stay here, help Wolf get clean,
你去做侦查 and you can handle the recon.
我吐在你乔丹鞋里了 I puked in your Jordans.
不会容易的 Well, it's not going to be pretty.
这个小天使被恶魔附身了 I mean, this little angel has got the devil up in him.
我能应付暴狼 Oh, I can handle Wolf.
我知道你该去哪了 And I know just where to send you.
上帝 Oh, lordy!
天啊 Jeepers creepers!
这些口袋太烂了 我从不信任它们 Those bags, so rascally, I never trust them.
是啊 经常破 Yeah, they break on me a lot.
不会吧 刚过期 Oh, come on, it just expired!
饶了我吧 Give me a fucking break.
怎么 当不了正规警察吗 你个无名氏 What, couldn't cut it as a regular cop, you piece-of-shit nobody.
我们要处理下 We're going to have to do something about
这团糟 对吗 this dinner mess, aren't we?
不准动 Freeze!
不可能 Impossible.
这个新式微波炉太神奇了 Well, this newfangled microwave is just a miracle worker.
不知道该怎么谢你 泰安 I don't how to thank you for this, Ty-Anne.
自从...后 我就没吃过家常菜了 I haven't had a home-cooked meal since...
自从我住在我妈家后 well, since I lived at home with my mom,
那是六个月前了 and that was six months ago.
别说了 斯图小熊 Oh, you hush now, Stu-bear.
跟我讲讲你的工作 And tell me about this job of yours.
你上司听上去像是个有意思的人 Your boss sounds like a real interesting fellow.
克罗尼什 Kronish?
他是疯子 He's nuts.
拜托 他唯一为之疯狂的事是 Come now, the only thing he's nuts about
消防车和棒棒糖 is firetrucks and lollies.
他现在唯一关心的就是 Yeah, well, the only thing he cares about now
保护他的研究 is protecting his research.
但我们也不知道他在做什么 But we don't know what he's doing,
他已经多年没露过面了 I mean, nobody's seen him in years.
天啊 Good heavens.
谢谢 Thanks.
他躲在我们大楼的顶层 He's just holed up on the top floor of our building.
他在那生活 日夜工作 He lives up there, just working day and night.
他一定很孤单 He must be so lonely.
如果你喜欢孤单的男人 Yeah, well, if you're into lonely guys...
总之他特别保密 Anyway, he's crazy secretive.
没有电脑 没有网络 No computers, no internet connections.
我们都不知道我们在研究什么 We don't even know what we're working on.
我们只知道活负鼠上去 All we know is that live possums go up
死负鼠下来 and dead possums come down.
很多负鼠 So many possums.
天啊 Well, geez.
你觉得他在研究什么 What do you think he's working on?
不知道 I don't know.
但显然我们将在两天后知道 因为 But apparently, we're going to find out in two days, because
他通知了媒体 他有 he called the media and he's going to give
重大声明要宣布 some kind of big announcement.
所以还不算晚 So it's not too late.
什么不算晚 Too late for what?
当然是我著名的卡罗莱纳豌豆烩饭 Well, for my famous Hoppin' John, that's what!
我在喀拉昆仑山脉上滑雪 I'm snowboarding down K2!
天啊 现在我在射击雪人 Oh God! Now I'm shooting Yetis, what?
这游戏太棒了 This game's amazing.
当然了 你开发的 哥们 Of course it is, you developed it, bro.
死得好快 Died pretty fast.
嗯 那关比较难 Yeah, that's a tricky level.
谢了 Thanks, man.
天啊 乔西 Oh, God, Josh!
乔西 Josh!
谁是乔西 Who's Josh?
我又在你床上拉屎了 I'm shitting your bed again.
-天 暴狼 -过来 - Oh, God, Wolf! - Come here.
过来 快过来 Come here, please come here.
过来 过来 哥们 Please come here, come on, come on, buddy.
我只需要一口可卡因和20根吸管 I just need a bump and 20 bendy straws.
沃尔夫 不 Wolf, no.
这里没有可卡因 Okay, there's no coke here.
我发现杰法兹的身体是座寺庙 Turns out that JFUTZ's body is a temple.
他喜欢生活严谨 我尊重他 He's really into clean living and I respect him.
我们有超级水果 有坚果粉 All right, we got super fruits, we got nut powders,
但是没有可卡因 but no cocaine all right?
哥们 Look, buddy.
尝点这个超级思慕雪 会让你好起来的 I mean, try some of this super smoothie, it'll pick you right up.
老天 Jesus!
可卡因 Coke!
晚安 可爱又可悲的男人 Goodnight, you sweet, sweet, sad little man.
无论你做什么 明天别去工作 泰安
哥们 你该提醒我小心OJ的 Dude. You should have warned me about OJ.
这个勺子里的男人怎么了 What happened to the man in this spoon?
看 Look.
我写了本书 I wrote a book.
给你带了份签名版 Brought you a signed copy, bro.
你叫布莱恩 Your name is Brian?
我怎么不知道 How did I not know that?
佐格 Zog?
你好啊 你还活着 Hi, buddy. You're alive!
没有 Nope.
蠢货 Stupid!
你怎么滑滑板上楼的 How did you skateboard up the stairs?
我踩着滑板跳上来的 I ollie.
我还记得那腌黄瓜 恍如昨日一样 I remember that first pickle as if it was yesterday.
之后再没有那么好吃的东西 Nothing ever tasted that good again
永远也不会有 and nothing ever will.
弗拉瓦拉 Furla-wurla!
世事有起终有落 What goes up must come down.
这是艾萨克·牛顿爵士说的 That's Sir Isaac Newton.
我很抱歉 我伤害过的所有人 I'm sorry for everyone I hurt.
暴狼 Hey, Wolf.
是我柯瑞 It's me, Corey.
这首歌是为你唱的 This song's for you, man.
♪ I don't know my name, I, ♪
♪ I don't know my way, I ♪
♪ Don't recognize myself anymore ♪
♪ I'm lost at sea, I'm ♪
♪ slipping endlessly, I ♪
♪ Resistance is a pale, flickering light ♪
♪ I can't feel it ♪
♪ Seas of doubt raging, swallow me up ♪
♪ Pain is burning ♪
♪ Flames abandoned ♪
♪ Is this soldier ...really strong enough ♪
我能尝到这味道 I can taste it.
我又有味觉了 I can taste again!
♪ If it takes more of my blood, ♪
♪ I'm going to give it ♪
♪ If it takes more sacrifice, ♪
♪ I'm committed ♪
♪ Rusted sunset of my dreams ♪
♪ Starting over ♪
好好吃 That's so good.
操 我的天 Oh, shit, oh my God!
我的天 我在天上飞 Oh my God. I'm flying through the sky.
我好高 I'm so high!
搞什么 Skrills.
我正要降落在末日暴雪里 I was just about to stick my landing in Snowpocalypse.
是你啊 Oh hey, it's you.
你要来玩玩吗 很有意思的 Uh, you want to try, it's really fun.
我们还有别的末日要处理 We have another apocalypse to deal with.
还有两天克罗尼什就要放出解药了 Kronish is two days away from releasing the cure.
我们得杀了克罗尼什 毁掉他的研究 We need to kill Kronish, destroy his research,
炸掉克罗尼什馆 and blow up the Kronitorium.
这是我们唯一的机会 This is our only chance.
所以我们要上演《终结者2》吗 Wow, so we're going, like, full-on T2.
《终结者2: 审判日》 Judgment Day.
阿诺德是沃尔夫哈特餐厅的熟客 Arnold was a frequent customer at Wolf Harts
也是我好朋友 and a good friend.
天 Oh, man.
-我们有过越轨性行为 -够了 - We had some sexcapades. - Okay.
这次任务 需要规模更大的杀戮小队 This mission, I mean, it calls for a much bigger kill team,
但就只有我们几个人 所以 but this is all we have, so...
我们得训练你 we're going to have to train you up.
好的 Okay.
运动姿态 athletic stance,
开始和你们其中一人搏击 还是 start sparring with one of you guys, or...
搏击 不 我想我们 Spar, no... I think we'll...
我们让你先和跟你一个水平的人练习 I think we'll have you start with someone of your own skill level.
那是谁 What the hell is that?
我不知道你为什么有这个 I do not know why you have this,
但她就在你门前的台阶上 but she was on your doorstep, and, um,
她可以作为你的训练搭档 she'll do.
开始吧 So let's begin.
给点力 你连一个充电奴隶都打不赢 Come on, you're being defeated by a charge slave.
-我擦到乳房了 -忍着 - Oh, I just grazed boob. - Suck it up.
行了 暂停 暂停 Okay, all right, time out, time out!
再来 再来 再来 Again, again, again.
投降 投降 Yield, yield, yield, yield!
这太蠢了 This... is so stupid.
我没法在一天之内就学会打斗 I can't learn to fight in a day.
给我展示鼻子穿大脑 Show me nose-to-brain.
好好 Okay, okay.
还不错 Okay, that's something.
是啊 在我中弹无数次后 Yeah, that something's going to come in real handy
这会非常有帮助的 after I get shot a hundred times.
你不能中弹 你是这次任务的关键人物 You can't get shot, you're essential to this mission.
为了炸掉大楼 In order to take down the building,
我们需要在三个战略位置 we need to simultaneously detonate bombs
同时引爆炸弹 in three strategic locations.
好 Okay.
我该在哪 Well, where am I during all of that?
其中一个战略位置 At one of the strategic locations.
我们就是炸弹 We're the bombs.
什么意思 我们是炸弹 What do you mean, we're the bombs?
自杀式背心吗 What, like suicide vests?
我们也可以用腰带 但是背心可以装更多炸弹 Well, we could do belts but vests hold more.
这是事实 Yeah, that's a true fact.
不 No!
这不能是计划 No, that cannot be the plan.
-好吧 用腰带 -不 - Fine, we'll do belts. - No.
我不能参与其中 好吗 Look, I cannot be a part of this, all right?
只有两个士兵和你 Well, with only two soldiers and you,
-这是我们唯一的选择 -不 - it's our only option. - No!
不管你们需要做什么 你们得另想计划 Whatever you guys need to do, you have to find another plan
拯救世界 to save the world.
邱西退出 Joosh out.
你不能现在抛弃我们 You can't quit on us now.
我不是救世主 Look, I am no savior.
-你是我们来这儿的原因 -嗯 - You're the reason we're here. - Yeah.
你说那是你这辈子最糟糕的决定 And you said it was the worst decision of your entire life.
那是多年前说的了 I said that years ago.
-你今早才说的 -时空穿梭很操蛋 - You said that this morning. - Time travel is fucked up.
听着 我尝试过的一切 Look, everything that I have tried to do
都让情况变得更糟 has just made stuff worse.
你还不明白吗 我不是干这事的料 Okay, can't you see, I am not cut out for this.
我们不能逼你 We can't make you do this.
你必须想要这么做 You have to want to do this.
你必须需要这么做 You have to need to do this.
没有信念 就没有自我引爆 Without conviction, there's no self-detonation.
谢谢 Thank you
你的服务 未来侠 for your service, Future Man.
你要放他走 You're letting him go?
他已经走了 He's already gone.
我希望你能在你想要的地方着陆 I hope you stick whatever landing you're looking for.
她现在人真好 She's really nice now.
我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinking.
为什么要跑进一栋着火的大楼 Why race into a burning building
当我已经住在一座防火豪宅里 when I already live in a fireproof palace?
不 我没这么想 No, I wasn't thinking that.
我以前也躲在自己的豪宅里 Well, I used to hide in a palace of my own,
但作为一个去了地狱又回来的人 but as someone who's been to hell and back,
我这么跟你说吧 I'll tell you this.
染上毒瘾有一个缺点 There is one downside to cocaine addiction.
会让你一天大多数时间都沉浸其中 It takes most of the day to kick it,
所以你一天就没了 so you lose the day.
第二 Second...
这一切都不是真的 none of this is real.
你的房子 你的生活方式 你的朋友 Your house, your lifestyle, your friends.
全是假象 It's all an illusion.
暴狼 Wolf.
暴狼 Wolf!
听着 不知为何 Look, somehow,
搞砸这次任务让我的生活变得很棒 fucking up this mission made my life amazing.
你还不明白吗 Okay, don't you get it?
在这个我从没玩过"生化战争"的时间线里 In this timeline, where I never played The Biotic Wars,
一切都变好了 everything is better.
这是宇宙在叫我停下 This is the universe telling me to stop.
不是 No.
这是恐惧在阻止你成为传奇 This is fear preventing you from becoming a legend.
你去收拾其他东西 然后我们就 So you just get the other stuff and then we'll just...
-各位 -嘿 - Hey, guys. - Hey!
大家都去哪儿了 Where'd everybody go?
肖恩·怀特[单板滑雪运动员]在做奶酪火锅 Uh, Shaun White was doing some sort of fondue thing,
大家都去他那里了 so everyone hit that up.
你不用收拾的 Hey, you don't have to do that,
我有人负责这些 我跟你说了 I got somebody to take care of it, I told you.
是啊 就是我们 Yeah, us.
我们说好的 That's the deal.
你还好吗 老大 自从你回来后 You okay, boss? You been acting like kind of strange
你整个人就不正常 since you got back.
我们看到你在楼上狂揍天命 Yeah, we saw you upstairs kind of kicking the shit out of Destiny,
我不想问的 但是 I didn't want to ask, but...
那个娃娃叫天命 That... that doll's name is Destiny?
-是啊 -对 - Oh yeah, that's her name. - Yeah.
-那是我的宝贝 -嗯 - That's my bae? - Yeah.
我们不介意 你是老大 杰法兹 No judgment, you know, you're the man, JFUTZ.
房子打扫干净了 So the place is all clean
我有计划和几个朋友庆祝我生日 and I have a plan to celebrate my birthday with a couple friends,
所以得走了 好吗 so going to boogie, all right?
你们为我工作 You guys work for me.
是的 Yeah.
是的 你怎么了 We do... what... what's going on, man?
-好了 -没事吧 - All right. - We good?
-我们走了 -嗯嗯 我没事 - We're out. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good.
这不是什么温馨的公寓 This is not a sweet condo.
你可真够胆大的 敢来这儿 先生 You've got a lot of nerve showing up here, mister.
爸爸 这是什么地方 Dad, what... what is this place?
真好笑 你在自作聪明吗 Very funny, you're a wisenheimer now?
你来这干什么 Why are you even here?
我是来看你和妈妈的 I'm here to see you and Mom.
你今天真是笑点十足啊 合格的喜剧演员 Oh, you're full of them today, you're a regular comedian.
知道吗 You know what?
你比这监狱提供的娱乐还好笑 You're funnier than the entertainment they have in this prison,
这里根本没有娱乐 which is no entertainment at all.
连有线电视服务都没有 We can't even get cable!
有线电视服务 如今都没人想要了 Cable, the thing no one even wants anymore.
等等 爸 妈呢 Wait, Dad, wait, where's Mom?
她不想和你说话 我不怪她 She didn't want to talk to you and I don't blame her.
那房子将来本来就会属于你 That house was going to be yours one day.
那是福特曼的房子 It's the Futterman house,
但你就是等不及 对吗 but you just couldn't wait, could you?
我 我很抱歉 I'm... I'm sorry.
爸 那不是我 Dad, that... that wasn't me.
都怪我 It's my fault.
我们就不该给你取名叫邱西 We never should have named you Joosh.
你小时候被人嘲笑 让你变得冷血 You were made fun of as a kid and it hardened your heart.
但我们是受到了那个在我地毯上呕吐的 But we were inspired by that Latino fellow
拉美小伙的启发 that threw up on my carpet
-才给你取的这名字 -又是拉美小伙那事 - and introduced us. - The Latino thing again?
无所谓了 It doesn't matter.
你现在更像杰法兹而不是邱西 You're more JFUTZ than Joosh now.
不 No.
不不不 我是邱西 No, no, no, I'm Joosh...
我还是你记忆中那个听话的邱西 爸 I'm the same sweet Joosh that you remember, Dad.
你申请了法院指令 声明我们智力不健全 You got a court order declaring us mentally incompetent
把我们送到这里 and putting us in this place.
你没资格再叫我爸了 You don't get to call me "Dad" anymore.
给 让我 Here, let me, let me...
我不想要你的钱 I don't want your money,
让你堕落的脏钱 dirty money that corrupted you.
你以前玩电子游戏纯粹是为了好玩 You used to play video games for fun.
然后你尝到了成功的甜头 Then you got a taste of success
奉承者开始向你涌入 你很享受 and the hangers-on started rushing in, and you liked it.
我小时候从来不受欢迎 I was never popular as a kid.
你有两个最好的朋友 我和你妈 You had two best friends, me and your mom,
但那对你来说并不够 but that wasn't good enough for you.
好极了 Oh, great.
我选了土耳其辣椒 它给我豌豆 I punched turkey chili, it gave me split pea.
好了 你去叫上妈妈 我们回家 Okay, look, just go get Mom and let's go home.
-不 -拜托 - No. - Come on.
放开我 老天 Let it go... oh, Jesus Christ!
好极了 我不想吃的晚餐又没了 Great, there goes the dinner I didn't even want.
你快滚吧 You know what, just get the hell out of here.
滚 要我叫保安吗 Get out, do I have to call security?
要我打你吗 Do I need to kick your ass?
我多年前就该这么做的 快滚 It's what I should have done years ago, get out of here.
滚 Go!
滚出去 Get the fuck out.
杰法兹 Jfutz.
谁派你来的 Who sent you?
竹联帮 Bamboo union?
鬼影帮 Ghost Shadows?
谁 Who?
克隆杀手 Clone assassin?
真是妙 It's brilliant.
-留给三合会 -我 我 - Leave it to the Triads. - I'm... I'm...
等等 什么 wait, what?
我操 Hachi machi!
他们跟我说不可能 They told me it was impossible.
嘿 看上面 Hey, eyes up here!
你是混蛋 You're an asshole.
你怎么能这么对我们父母 How could you do that to our parents?
我们父母 "Our" Parents?
别想影响我 克隆 Don't try to get in my head, clone.
你跟你老大说我不会放水任何比赛 You tell your bosses I ain't throwing no tournaments.
电子竞技 There's a little thing called integrity
也是讲诚信的 when it comes to e-sports.
无论他们怎么威胁我 Doesn't matter how much they try to intimidate me.
-那东西挺渗人的 -哥们 - And that thing is intimidating. - Dude.
我不是你的克隆杀手 I-I'm not your clone assassin.
我来自另一个时间线 在那里 I'm from another timeline, only where I come from,
我有这根屌但我不是混蛋 I have this dick but I'm not a dick.
真溜啊 冒牌货 Nice line, fake me.
但我已经连续39个小时没睡了 But I've been up for 39 hours straight
现在精神仍然很好 and I'm still going strong.
天啊 Oh God.
建议你少使用邱西 邱西 I would probably cut back on the JOOSH, Joosh.
我叫杰法兹 贱人 It's JFUTZ, bitch.
你扇我鼻子 Did you just slap my nose?
闯大祸了 Big mistake!
我杀了杰法兹 I killed JFUTZ!
你觉得你能背这么多的C-4炸弹吗 士兵 You think you can handle this much C-4, soldier?
只要我们在一起合作 Well, as long as we're working together,
再多的氯酸铵我也能背 there's no amount of ammonium chlorate I can't carry.
-好 我们出发吧 -各位 - All right. Let's get to it. - Guys.
停下 停下 Guys, stop, stop, stop, stop.
乔西 让开 我们要去炸塔 Josh, out of our way. We got a tower to take down.
我是来帮忙的 我之前错了 Look, I'm here to help. Okay, I was wrong.
我是和你们一伙的 我属于这个下水道 I... I belong with you guys here in this sewer
而不是什么防火豪宅 and not in some fireproof palace.
说得真好听 Sweet callback.
我要和你们一起去 Look, I'm in this with you guys.
直到最后 Till the end.
好 Okay.
我给你戴一条C-4腰带 I'm gonna whip you up a C-4 belt.
不 不用了 No... no, no, no.
我们不用死 We don't have to die.
我有个计划 I've got a plan.
这怎么可能 How is this possible?
在这个时间线里 So in this timeline,
我从没在克罗尼什实验室工作过 the one where I never worked at Kronish,
从没玩过"生化战争" the one where I never played The Biotic Wars,
没人通关过这游戏 no one has beaten this game.
我在我的黑果上黑歌[谷歌]了 I Bloogled it on my Blapple.
所以呢 So?
所以意味着 So... so that means
未来有另一个版本的你们 that there's another version of you two in the future,
在等着回来找我 waiting to come back for me.
两位 Guys.
这是个完全不同的现实 This is an entirely different reality.
你们的整个团队可能还活着 Your whole team can still be alive.
我只需要再次通关这游戏 Look, all I have to do is go and beat the game again
再次召唤出猎虎 暴狼或者别人 and we get another Tiger and another Wolf and who knows who else.
不 只会有我们 No, it'll just be us.
他们都会死在隧道里 They'll all die in the tunnel...
又一次 again.
《土拨鼠日》 Groundhog Day.
安迪·麦克道尔[《土拨鼠日》主演] Andie MacDowell.
-我愿和她做爱 -不 - I'd hit that. - No.
他们不用死 They don't have to die.
我们可以通过游戏给他们传递信息 We can send them a message through the game,
叫他们走另一条路 tell them to go a different way.
我们可以拯救整个团队 You guys, we can get the entire team back.
猫鼬 蝴蝶 猫头鹰 Mongoose, Butterfly, Owl,
在他脑子里被放如虫子之前 before he got that brainworm thing.
是蚂蚁 脑子里放了蚂蚁 Myrm. He was myrmed.
是的 Yes.
你们想要脑子里放蚂蚁之前的猫头鹰吗 How would you guys like a pre-myrm Owl?
"别走隧道" "Avoid-The-Tunnel."
看到没 See?
现在未来的你们会走另一条路 Now the future yous will take a different way in.
玩死亡之桥 Play the Death Bridge.
他们真走运 They should be so lucky.
我是猎虎 I'm Tiger.
他是暴狼 This is Wolf.
你是我们最新的成员 You're our newest recruit.
来战斗吧 Come fight.
欢迎加入抵御者 Welcome to the Resistance.
把这里灭了 Let's fuck this place up.
杀了所有人 Murder everyone!
碎掉他们的身体 Break their bodies!
喂我果汁 喂我果汁 Juice me, juice me!
东方健康认证的有机物质 Certified organic by Orient Health.
把他们炸回地狱 Blow them back to hell!
大家到了后肯定会很饿的 Everyone's going to be peckish when they arrive.
不想震撼他们的味觉 Don't want to give them palate shock,
所以准备简单的餐前点心就好 so best stick to simple hors d'oeuvres.
不知道没有挖球器我要怎么做到 Don't know how I'm going to do that without a melon baller,
我就凑活着弄吧 but I suppose I'll make do.
大开杀戒吧 Make it rain blood!
你有酸奶油吗 You got any crème fraîche?
没 Uh, no.
第83关 Level 83.
我只需要 All I have to do
卸掉我所有的武器装备 is shed all of my armor and weapons,
走秘密通道 通过基兹佐暗杀队 take the secret passageway past the Jizzadrian kill squad,
躲开那些完基物 dodge those perfs,
直接通向大怪物 that leads directly to the big boss.
种族灭绝博士 割断他的邪恶喉咙 Okay, Dr. Genocide, slit his evil throat.
按下引爆装置 Hit the detonator,
从火管滑下 不被烧死 slide down the fire tube without being burned alive,
然后屠杀刮刀爆炸 all before the kill scraper explodes.
恭喜 Congratulations.
你达到了救世主的等级 You've achieved the ranking of savior.
应该能奏效 好了 All right, it should work, that's it.
你觉得我准备了足够的食物吗 You... you think I made enough food?
不够 You know what, I don't,
但我不想说三道四 暴狼 but I didn't want to say anything, Wolf.
有一点延迟时间 All right, there's like a little bit of lag time,
不过很快就会发生了 but it'll happen any moment now.
我们得退后 Okay, we need to back up.
即将有大约45个嗜血战士来到这里 There are about to be 45 bloodthirsty warriors up in this place.