[ ]
Don't Be A Fag. I Won't. Now, Fuck Off.
No Pussying Out. I'm Not. Will You Just...
All Right. Come On.
Okay, Okay. Okay?
Uh, Yes!
You're Not Moving. Well, Neither Are You.
Jesus Christ, Man Up, Would You?
I'm Fuckin'... I'm Closer To You Than You Are To Me.
How The Fuck Does That Work?
Because, You Know,
I'm Doing Some Moving
And You're Not Doing Anything.
You're Just Sass-Bossing Me. You're An Idiot.
You're An Idiot.
Shut Up. Shh.
Don't Be A Pussy. I'm... I Got It.
[ ]
Okay.
Yep.
[ ]
Oops. It's All Right.
Sorry.
[ Laughing ]
[ Cough ]
Well, All Right.
Uh, This Has Been Good.
Yeah. I-I Like This.
I-I... I Like That We Can, You Know,
Go Out For Dinner Have A Few Drinks And Have It Be, Um...
It Was, Um...
C-Civilized.
Yeah. Yeah.
[ Laughing ]
Uh...
Well, It Was Great Seeing You.
Yeah, You Too. Yeah, You Know... Bye.
Oh.
[ ]
You...
Thank You.
Okay.
Good Night. Good Night.
[ Lock Turns ] Get In Safely.
Yeah.
Bye.
[ ]
[ Thump ]
Hi.
[ Chuckles ]
[ ]
Do You Want To Come Up?
[ ]
No.
It's Not You, You're Beautiful.
It's Late.
I'm Also Making The Assumption
That The Ladies At Work Have Warned You Against Me.
You Know, They Probably Say That I'm A Bit Of A...
I've Got A History With The Women
And I Think That It Would Be Better For Us Both
If You Got To Know Me Better.
You Know, The Real Me.
All Right, You Know, How Old Are You?
24, 25?
I'm 23.
Bloody Hell. I Mean, I'm 31 Years Old.
Do You Know What That Means?
It Means I Can't Be Running Around Fucking All These Girls.
I Mean, Half The Time
I Don't Even Speak To Them Ever Again.
That's Rude, Is What It Is.
It's Immature. It's Embarrassing,
It's Fucking Embarrassing.
There Comes A Point
When You Want All Of This To Be
About More Than Just Getting Off.
Do You Know What I Mean?
[ Sigh ]
So, I'm Going To Go.
I'm Going To Go And, Uh...
I'm Going To Ask You If I Can Call You Later In The Week.
[ ]
I Tell You What I'm Going To Do For You.
I'm Going To Walk You Up To Your Door.
[ Knocking ]
Oh, Baby, You Are So Hot.
Oh, I Love You So Much.
How Did I Ever Get A Girl Like You?
My God!
This Stuff's Been Out Here For Four Days!
It's Starting To Reek Like Milk.
Okay? I Don't Want To Be A Dick Here,
But You've Got To Stop Living Like A Fuckin' Pig.
Okay? Seriously, How Many Times Do I Have To Ask You?
Over And Over?
And, Dude, What Is With The Shoes?
I Mean, Look At All The...
Like, Pick Up Your Fuck...
Look At These Shoes! Are These Even All...?
These Can't Be All Your Shoes, Man.
Whose Shoes Are These, Dave?
Whose Shoes Are These?
Shh... No, Baby,
I've Told Him 4000 Times.
4000 Times! Shh...
I'm Not Trying To Be A Dick Here, Okay?
Mmm, Mmm. [ Laughing ]
Oh My God. [ Giggling ]
Oh My God. You Are So Hot.
You Think She's Hot, Right?
Woman: Come On, Let's Go To Our Room.
Man: Oh, No First.
I'm Going To Go To The Kitchen And Get Some Cookie Dough.
Oh, Yeah? Yeah.
We're Going To Have Some Fun With Some Cookie Dough?
I Am.
What Are You Going To Do?
I'm Going To Eat It.
Uh...
What Are You Doing Home?
Why Don't You Have A Hot Date?
[ ]
Hey, Yeah, Seriously, Man.
What Are You Doing Home Tonight?
You Don't Got To Work Tomorrow.
Why Don't You Go Out, Hit A Club Or Something?
You Can't Hole Yourself Up Like Anne Benet Ramsay,
Waiting For The Germans To Leave.
I Mean, Come On, It's Friday Night, Man!
You're Young, For Christ's Sake.
Do You Hear What I'm Saying To You?
At Least, Come On, Go Out And Bang Some Whores.
It's Friday Night!
"Hello? Who Dis?
00:06:18:10 00:06:22:00 The Party? Where You At? Oh Yeah!"
It's Tuesday.
Man: [ Whispering ] Dave.
Dave!
[ Gasp ]
So, Inez Looked Pretty Good Tonight, Eh?
Pretty Hot.
Pretty Nice And Hot.
[ Sigh ]
So, I Was Thinking...
Uh...
Do You Want To Come Into My Room?
With Us?
All Right.
Huh! Okay.
[ ]
[ Cellphone ] I'm The Scatman
[ Scatting ]
[ Beep ]
Dude... Man: [ On Cellphone ] How'd It Go?
Still Going. Man: [ Laughing ]
[ Shudder ]
[ Water Running ]
Hey, Ken? Yeah?
Will You Do Me A Favour?
What?
Don't Look In The Medicine Cabinet, Okay?
[ Clattering Dishes ]
[ ]
I'm Not One Of Those Girls Who Never Eats, I Swear.
Normally, My Fridge Is Stocked,
But, Um... I Got...
I Got Drunk The Other Night
And I Lost My Tips Somewhere, So, Um...
I Couldn't Go Shopping.
I Have Something Bad To Tell You.
And I Really Hope That You Don't Think I'm, Like,
Retarded Or A Weirdo Or Anything.
But All I Have...
Is Wine Coolers.
[ Chuckle ]
Heh!
Teeth Whitener?
What? Excuse Me?
Teeth Whitener. Is That What It Is?
What?
In Your Medicine Cabinet.
You Think My Teeth Are Too White?
No, I...
Oh, And There's A Bra In My Living Room Too,
So You Probably Think I'm A Big Slob.
Uh...
My Teeth Are White Because
When I Was A Kid
I Used To Sleep Under These Special Lamps.
Wait, What?
I Was Scared Of The Dark So...
My Parents, They Bought Me These Special Lamps...
To Help Me Sleep.
But They Just Ended Up Making My Teeth Really White.
Really?
Huh.
Berrycuda.
It's Good.
Yeah.
Quenchy.
So, When You Say "Lamps"...
Oh, All Right, I'm Lying. [ Laugh ]
I... That Was A Crazy Lie.
I Don't Know Why I Said That.
There Were No Lamps, It Just...
I'm Just Not Used To...
You Know, Like, Having Guys Up Here
On First Dates And All And...
Hey. I'm Just All...
Listen, Listen.
I've Poked Around In Many A Medicine Cabinet
While Pretending To Take A Piss. All Right?
I'm Pretty Sure Whatever You've Got In Yours
Isn't Going To Make Me Not Want To Be Here.
You Think I'm A Slob, Don't You?
It's Okay, You Can Tell Me. No, I...
I... [ Sigh ]
Yeah.
I Think You're A Slob.
But Who Fucking Cares? I Mean, Really.
That's Not Why I'm Here, Is It?
I'm Here Because I Like You.
I Do.
And I Don't Care How Messy You Are.
Or That Apparently
The Nanny From Muppet Babies Has Been Over.
Oh My God! I'm...
Sorry, That... Actually...
Relax.
I'm Going To Stop Pushing For Info.
You're Going To Chill Out
And Stop Worrying About What I Think.
We're Going To Laugh, We're Going To Talk.
We're Going To Drink Our Drinks.
How's That Sound?
Yeah. Good.
[ Clink ]
Okay. But There's One More Problem.
What's That?
I Really Don't Want To Drink This.
Neither Do I.
It Tastes Like Pennies.
[ Laughing ]
Come Here.
Mmm!
Oh, I'm Sorry. Doesn't Matter.
Whoo!
I Think I'm Drunk. You?
Maybe We Waited Too Long.
Maybe We Should Have Another Shot.
Ah, I'm Just Worried About Things Going Wacky.
Uh-Uh!
Ahh! Do You Think This Is A Smart Thing?
All Right, Gaylord,
I Understand What You're Feeling, But Listen Up
'cause I Ain't Saying This Twice.
I Am Not Particularly Keen On Getting Back Out Into The Dating Scene
Since We Both Know Every Guy I've Ever Met Has Cheated On Me.
Except For Me 'cause, You Know,
We Never Actually... Shut Up.
We All Know If I Don't Get Some Action
I'm Just Going To End Up Falling For Some Dickhead At Work
And Be Right Back Where I Started.
Plus, It Just So Happens
That The Only Man I Can Currently Stand To Look At Is You.
Who, Coincidentally, Has Been Hung Up
On Some Whore Bitch Who Dumped You.
Don't Call Her A Whore Bitch.
Who Dumped You Like, Seven Months Ago
And Treated You Like Shit For Six Years.
Six Years And Four Months.
Oh, You Need To Get Laid!
[ Coughs ] Okay, Yes.
Very, Very Badly.
Yes, I Get It.
And Instead Of Worrying
About This, That, And The Other Thing,
Just Focus On The Fact That Your Balls Need Emptying.
Immediately. And That's It.
That's All You Think About Because That's All This Is.
I Just Don't Want To Jeopardize Anything.
Okay, Look...
Sometimes It's Something.
Sometimes It's Meaningful.
Sometimes It's Caressing Faces
And Fingers Intertwined
And Whispering Little Secrets In Ears.
And Sometimes A Fuck Is Just A Fuck.
It's Grinding Your Shit And Emptying Your Balls
And Falling Asleep Right After You Come.
And That's What You And I Are Going To Do To One Another
Because That's What Friends Are For.
So Stop Fucking Up The Game Plan, Down That Shot,
Because Right After That Your Old Buddy Kris
Is Going To Blow You.
Um, Did... You're Going To...?
[ Mouthing ]
Ah!
You Ready For This? Yeah.
Buzzed? Mmm-Hmm.
Trim That Shit Up Like We Talked It About?
Uh, Yeah.
Okay. High Five.
[ ]
It's Nice.
Yeah, I...
I Got So Many Bottles Of Wine When I Got Promoted.
Oh, No, No.
I Was... [ Laughs ]
I'm Sorry, I Was Talking About The Place.
Oh. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Yeah, This Came With The Promotion As Well, I Guess.
Well, The Wine Is Great, Too.
I'm Surprised, Actually,
Um, Because You Hate Wine.
I Like It Now.
[ Awkward Chuckles ]
Oh, Jasmine Is Going To Kill Me.
[ Chuckling ]
W-Why?
She's Just Being Over-Protective.
I Didn't Tell Anyone.
No?
No.
[ Laughing ] It's Just,
Yeah, You Know, I Figured They Would Tell Me
It Was A Bad Idea
Or... Or Get Excited
That We Were Getting Back Together.
Or Something. [ Laugh ]
So, Are You Still See...
Sorry. No. Go Ahead. No!
No. Go Ahead. I...
No, I Was Just...
Small Talk. Nothing.
This Is Stupid. [ Laugh ]
See?
This Doesn't Have To Be Weird.
You Know? No. No.
You Know, I Honestly, I Just Kind Of Figured
That We'd Come And We'd Do Like A,
Hey, How Are You? Kind Of A Thing,
And Then We Get A Little Horny
And Then Do The... [ Laugh ]
You Know, Mature Thing And Go Our Separate Ways.
I Know. I Know. So Did I.
No, You Didn't.
Look At The Top You're Wearing.
I Would Like You To Look At This Outfit.
Yeah? Uh Huh.
Uh Huh? Cleavage.
I See It. I'm Trying. It's Right There.
[ Laughing ] That's My Point Exactly.
See? That Top Is Specifically Designed
To Get Guys Like Me Back To Your Place.
I'm Sorry, Guys Like You?
What Does That Mean?
Gentlemen Who Enjoy Boobs.
No. You're Wrong There.
This Top Is Actually Specifically Designed
To Make Guys Like You Wish That You Could Come Home With Me.
Oh...
I See Now.
Catching Up? Yes, Yes. I See, Okay.
You Wanted To Fill Me With Regret.
Regret Is Good.
Yes, And No... No Intention
Of-Of Bringing Me Back To Your Place.
Nope. None. Oh, God.
I Feel Like A Rube.
[ Nervous Chuckle ]
All Right Then, Well, It's Been Great Seeing You
And You Give My Love To Jasmine, Okay?
Say Hi To Your Mom For Me.
I Will. I'll Say Hi To Her.
Good. All Right.
Don't Go Anywhere. What, What? No?
Andrew?
What?
What's This?
But It's Your Birthday.
I Know. It Just Felt Weird
Hogging All The Attention.
I Love You, Baby.
You're The Best. [ Giggle ]
Well, I Am Pretty Good.
Happy Birthday.
Mmm!
Good Night, Baby. Mmm...
Mmm.
Uh... Abby.
Andrew. [ Giggling ]
A-Abby? Andrew?
Um, I Don't Know
If I'm Feeling Up To It Tonight?
Is That A Question?
No, No. I'm... I'm Saying I'm...
I'm Tired.
Look, No, Hon... Honey,
It's Just That Work's Been Really Brutal Lately.
And... And Those Glasses,
I Don't Think The Prescription's Right In My New Glasses
'cause They Make My Eyes All Drowsy And...
And Like, Sting-Y. You Know?
And We Had All That Heavy Pasta For Dinner
So I'm Just Not Feeling Up To It, Okay?
Well, When Will You Be Up To It?
Well, What Are You Looking For,
Like, The Specific Date Or...?
I Mean, Can It Wait Till Tomorrow Or The Weekend?
We Haven't Had Sex In Three Weeks.
It Hasn't Been Three Weeks.
When Was The Last Time We Had Sex?
Andrew! What?
I Didn't Know I Was Supposed To Keep Track?
Well, You Shouldn't Have To.
The Answer Should Always Be Last Night.
Nobody Does It Every Night.
Malcolm And Beatrice Do.
Yeah, But They're Chiropractors
So You Can't Believe A Word They Say.
I Love You.
I Love You Too.
I Need Orgasms, Andrew.
I Know.
Okay.
We'll Do It.
We'll Do It Right Now.
I Want To Do It! I'm Ready!
Okay.
Okay. [ Giggling ]
I'm Looking Forward To It.
[ Laughing ]
Honey?
What?
I Thought You Were Going To Start.
No, I Always Start.
I Always Have To Instigate.
Come On, You Start This Time.
But You Already Instigated So I... You Know,
Because You Were All Hot And Bothered,
That Maybe You'd Start On Me And Then, You Know,
We... You'd Get Me Up To Where You're At.
[ Laughing ] No.
No, No, Because I Know Your Trick.
My What? You Never Go Down On Me First.
I Thought We Were Going To Stop Saying "You Never".
You Wait Until I Go Down First
And Then You Act All Super Hot
And Filled With Passion
And Absolutely Need To Have Me Right Then And There...
Conveniently Bypassing My Turn.
I Don't Think That's True.
It Is So True!
I Can't Believe That You're Pretending It's Not.
Oh, This Is So...
What's Wrong With Us?
No. What? I'm... I'm Saying
I'll Do It Right Now!
You Want... You Want... You Want Passion
And.. And Instigation?
Well, I Am Going For It!
A-Ha!
Huh? [ Laugh ]
What Do You Think Of That So Far?
Okay. That's Good.
Right? Mmm. Oh.
That's Good. Mmm-Hmm.
Yeah. Mmm-Hmm. Right?
Mmm! Yeah.
Whoo...
[ Chuckling ]
You Ready? Yes.
Oh... Are These New?
Wha...
Y-Yeah.
They... They Look Expensive.
I... I Thought We Were Going To, Um...
Consult On Big Purchases.
Andrew...
Oh, I'm Sorry.
Okay.
[ ]
Come On Now
[ ]
Hey, You're A Little Out Of Tune There Richard
[ ]
Come On
[ ]
Come On Now
Now This Time You Know What To Do
Hey, Benny!
[ ]
Whoo!
Keep That Train Movin'
Come On
Right Here I Want You To Give It To Me
So...
Oh Yeah, Dave...
I'm... I'm Not Going To Be In The Mix,
So To Speak.
I Know We Didn't Really Talk About It In Your Room,
But, Uh, Yeah, I'm Just Going To Be Watching Here
From The Corner. Just Sort Of...
Doing My Thing.
Good. Oh, And Dave,
Know That I've Always Thought You Were Really, Really Cute.
Yeah.
Okay.
And You Know, I Know We Don't Always Get Along
And Sometimes I... Fucking Hate You,
But, Uh, We're Moving Out Soon.
You Know, We're Going To Get Our Own Place. And...
We've Always Wanted This And Now Here You Are.
And I... I've Always Thought
That You Were Really, Really... She Has Always.
She Has Gone On About It, How Cute You Are.
Absolutely.
Right. And...
And, We Love Each Other So, So Much.
I Love You, Baby.
Oh My God, You Are So Hot.
God, I Love You!
You Are The Hottest Thing On Earth.
My God, How Did I Ever Get You? Ahh!
Oh, We're Going To Make New Friends Today.
[ Sigh ]
There Might Be One Problem.
Is It Me?
Whoa, She... She's Hot, Right?
Dave, You Think Inez Is Hot?
Yeah, She's Great.
You're, Yeah, You're Great.
It... I...
There's Something That May, Uh...
May Make You Not Want To...
To Do This.
You Know?
Uh...
[ Sigh ]
Gord.
Huh?
Oh, With That?
Oh, That... That's The Problem?
Oh, I Knew All About That.
Oh This Is Going To Be Great. I'm Very Excited.
[ Chuckle ] You...
You Knew About... Are You Excited?
Yeah.
Sorry, How Did You Know... That I...
You Are Now, Huh?
Should I... Yeah.
Yeah, Yeah. That'd Be Good.
That'd Be Good.
Oh My God.
You're So Hot. You're So Fucking Hot.
Oh Yeah, Just Get Right In There.
[ Sigh ]
This Is Nice.
[ ]
Oh! Oh, It's So Amazing.
Oh My God.
Oh! Are You Serious?
I Said, "Are You Serious?"
Absolutely.
Mmm!
Really? Yeah.
You're Serious?
Yeah.
Really? Oh Yeah.
Um, Jamie... Mmm!
Oh God.
Oh Fuck, Jamie, I...
Jamie, I Don't Know What You're Talking About, Darling.
I'm Sorry.
Well, Were You Serious
When You Said You Really Liked Me?
Yeah.
I Was.
[ Giggle ] I Bet You Say That To All The Girls.
Yeah, I Do.
What?
What, Do You Want Me To Lie To You?
Yeah, I Tell Other Girls I Like Them
But With You It's Different.
With You I Mean It.
Well, How Am I Supposed To Know The Difference?
I...
I Respect You Enough To Put This Away.
What? I Respect You.
But...
Respect Is Like The Opposite Of Liking Someone.
Hey, Not All The Time.
This Isn't Going Like How I Thought It Would.
[ Heavy Sigh ]
Look...
All I'm Trying To Tell You Here
Is That I Like You.
That's All I'm Trying To Do.
If We Have Sex Tonight, Great.
All Right? But If Not,
If You Don't Trust Me Enough Yet,
It's Totally Understandable.
And If That Means Putting A Halt To All This
Heavy Stuff... And Going Back To Conversation,
Then I'm Going To Conversation You All Night Long.
All Right? Listen...
I Want To Get To Know Everything There Is To Know About You.
For Instance, What Is This?
That Is My Cuticle Massager.
You Weren't Supposed To See That.
Cuticle Massager, Wow.
How's That Work?
Ken? Yeah?
We Don't Have To Talk.
I Believe You.
Really? Mmm-Hmm.
Does This Mean You, Um...
You Don't Like My Conversation Then?
No, I Love The Way You Talk.
We Can Talk After.
Okay.
[ Sigh ] Mmm.
Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. [ Heavy Sigh ]
Mmm, Mmm.
Do You Think About Other People When We're Making Love?
What?
It's Just...
Sometimes I Feel Like You're Not Here.
I Feel Like You're Somewhere Else.
Do You See What I'm Doing?
Where Else Could I Be?
I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry.
You're Right.
Go Ahead.
Oh, Thanks.
Is It Because I'm Not As Neat?
I'm Sorry?
The Reason That You're Not That Into It.
Is It Because I'm Not As Neat Down There?
Well, Who Said I'm Not Into It?
I'm Doing My Best Down Here. I'm Going To Town.
You Know, I Only Stopped Waxing
Because You Stopped Going Down On Me.
I Mean, I Would Start Doing It Again If You Did It More.
Uh, D-Do You Want To Talk About How Little I Go Down On You
Or Do You Want To Let Me Go Down On You?
Right, Sorry.
Mmm-Hmm.
Uh... See, Now You Seem Somewhere Else.
I... You Never Look At Me When I'm Down Here.
Well What, All Of Four Times?
I'm Serious.
Do... Do You Think Of Other People?
No.
Honey...
It's Okay, You Can Say It. I Do It.
You Do?
Why Would You Say That?
Well, Only Sometimes
And You Do It Too, Say It.
Yes, I Do. Aha!
Sometimes. Aha!
Who?
Yeah, Who?
Well, Who Do You Think Of?
Oh, I Don't Think I Could Ever Narrow It Down To A List.
It's Not The Same Person Every Time?
No, No. It's Like A Merry-Go-Round Up There
Of People I'll Never Have Sex With.
What, Do You Think Of The Same Person Every Time?
[ Nervous Chuckle ] You Do.
Who? Is It Malcolm?
Is It Because You Think He's A Doctor?
It's Not Malcolm.
Well, Then Who?
Ian Ziering.
He Was Steve Sanders On "Beverly Hills..." I Know Who He Was.
Are You Mad?
Uh, Let's Just Keep Going.
Okay?
Okay. Let's Just Do...
Let's... It'll Be Good.
I'm Ready. Let's Do It, I'm... Let's Do This.
Yes! [ Laugh ]
So Where Do You Want To Take It From? I... I Don't Know,
Do You Want To Start With A Kiss Or...
I Don't Know, Do You?
[ Clears Throat ] Mmm!
[ Soft Panting ]
[ Soft Giggle ]
Okay! Stop, Stop, Stop, Stop!
What? Um, You Can't Do That.
Can't Do What?
You Can't Look At Me When You're Doing That.
Why Not? Because It Makes Me Freak Out.
I Thought You Said You Liked It When...
No, Yeah. That's...
Different. Okay? With Other Girls, It's Like,
"Hey, That Is A Hot Girl Looking Up At Me,
When She's Giving Me A Blow Job."
But With You It's Like,
"Um, Hi, Yeah, That's Kris
And She's Got My Dick In Her Mouth
And It Makes Me Freak Out."
Okay.
Let's Just Skip The Blow Job.
Let's Not Get Crazy Here.
Let's Put Some Music On, Hmm?
What Do You Have In This Thing?
We Need Something With Some Bass.
Something Hot And Loud And Distracting.
I Hear What You're Saying. Can I Just Say One More Thing...
No, What We Need Is Some Fucking Music.
Kay? Yeah, All Right.
Kris: Okay.
I Never Needed Love
No. We Can Just Fast Forward This One.
No, No. This Is...
No, No, No. It's Just... No, No, No.
You Are So Very Gay.
You're The... Gay One. Gay.
[ Disc Changer Spins ]
[ ]
This One's Better, Right?
We Can... Mmm. Better?
I Hate This Song.
You Hate... Why Do You Hate This Song?
It Was My Song With Dimitri.
Oh...
You Know, Jessica And I Never Had A Song.
Well, You're Lucky.
You Know What? I Used To Think It Was Nice
But Then Stupid-Ass Would Play It In Juke Boxes
And Request It From Wedding Djs All The Time.
And Every Time, I Was Supposed To Get Weak In The Knees
And It Was Just So Fucking Dumb.
So, Do You Have Any Rap On That Thing?
Oh My, Do You See How Hot And Bothered You Are?
I-I Think We Should Leave This On
And Then You Can Pretend I'm Him
And Then, Uh, You Could Like,
Slap Me Around A Little.
I'm Kidding. Fuck Off.
Fuck Off! Right.
Right. Sorry...
That Was, Uh... Stupid.
Do You Want To Talk About It? [ Rap On Cd ]
[ Turns Up ] That's The One!
[ ]
Wait, Wait. Is...
Is It Okay That I'm Here?
Yeah. Right, Yeah.
Cause You Know, I Kind Of Cut Right To The Chase.
You Know...
We're Good Though, Right? Uh Huh.
I Just...
God, I Don't Want To Feel Like An Asshole Tomorrow.
It's Okay That You're Here,
Really. Yeah? Yeah.
So You're Over Me, Huh?
Wha... Wha... Wha... Don't Do That!
You're Over Me, Right?
[ Scoffing ] Yeah, Mia.
Eric, This Is... Just Fun, Right?
Yes, Agreed.
[ Laughing ] Agreed.
So We're Cool. Yes, Absolutely.
Say No More.
[ Whispering ] Say No More.
There We Go. Hello, Ladies.
Please Stop Talking To My Breasts.
Why? I'm Just Being Polite.
You'd Tell Me, Right?
You Know, If You Still...
If It Wasn't Okay.
You Know, Maybe You Should Just Stop Talking Altogether.
[ ]
...To Say What's Been Nice
To Reminisce Before Parting
'cause I Know That In Your Mind... Hmmm.
Didn't Think That This Would Happen. Please.
Look At This Thong.
You're Not Wearing This For Comfort, Lady.
Shut Up. [ Chuckling ]
[ Giggling ]
[ ]
Both: [ Laughing ]
Mmm.
Yeah, Just Grab It, Just Rip It.
Just Go For It.
Just Get In There And Grab It. Just Rip It.
Just Rip It Off. What?
Just... I'm Just Saying Grab It And Rip It
And Just Take It.
It's Already Off Though.
Yeah, Now It Is Off, But Before,
You Know, When... When...
It Made Sense Before When I Said It,
Just To Grab It And Rip It Off.
That's All. Okay.
Okay.
Oh Yeah.
[ Moaning ] Oh, She Really Likes It When You Grab Her Hair.
Uh, I Say... I Said She Really Likes It When You Grab Her Hair.
I'm Just Saying, Man, You Don't Have To Be Afraid.
Don't Be Tentative. Just Get In There And...
Just Grab It And Rip It And Just Do It And Go For It.
No, I'm Good.
Both: [ Moaning ]
Um, I'm Trying To Give You Something Here,
So I Think When I Say Something,
You Know, You Should Do It,
Because I'm Here Too, Okay?
This Is For Me Too, Right? I'm...
It's Not Like Fucking In Front Of The Dog.
I'm Just Saying, I'm Not Trying To Be A Dick,
But I'm Just Saying...
I'm Sorry. I Would Like This To Go Smooth
And Be Nice And Smooth
And Hot And Smooth, So...
I Will Be Over Here.
Okay.
It's... I'm Just Going To Grab This.
Yeah, And...
Ah.
Yeah, That's... Nice.
Just, You Know, Relax And Just Do...
Whatever's Natural, Is Just Fine.
Yeah. Yeah. Let It Go. I Like...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I Like This Part.
Guys, Just... Just Act Natural. Oh.
Just... Yeah, Just
Yeah, Okay. Just... Mia: Oh!
Who's That? Who Is That?
Who's Your New Friend?
Ah. [ Moaning ]
Oh. Ew.
What? Wh-What Happened?
I Put Hairspray On There.
The Perfume Bottle Was Empty.
I'm So Sorry.
I'm Sorry. It Just Tastes So Strong.
Okay! Okay.
No More Love- Making Shit.
This Caressing, This Touching.
Nobody Wants That.
Okay. I Like To Do That.
Nobody That's What I Do.
With A Vote Wants That.
And We Don't Even Caress,
So I Don't Want You Caressing Her.
I Don't Want Caressing. She Doesn't Want Caressing,
So Just Get In There And Just...
Just Go For It And Have Some Fun
And, You Know, And...
Treat Her Like A Piece Of Meat, You Know? It's Just...
It's Just Sexy Fun Times,
Just Exploring, Just... Fun.
Just... It's A Wild... It's An Erotic Ride.
It's Okay. Give It To Me.
What Are You Looking At Me For?
Give It To Her.
Gord, I Love You.
Oh, That Is So Hot.
Ah.
Oh My God. Just Please Keep Going.
Oh, Okay, Yeah, There We Go.
Oh-H-H. Oh, That's The Nice-Y Nice.
[ Moaning ]
[ Gasping ]
Can I Tell You Something? Mm-Hmm.
I'm In Love With Your Sheets.
[ Laughing ] They're Good Sheets, Eh?
Oh, They're The Best. Oh.
Do You Know, I'm Not Wearing Anything.
I Know. [ Moaning ]
I Mean I Didn't Have Anything. Have You Got Something?
I'm On Something.
Yeah? Mm-Hmm. Yeah.
I Mean, I'm Clean. I Swear. I Believe You.
I Get Checked All The Time.
I Believe You. The Girls At Work
Would Have Told Me If You Weren't.
Okay, Well, I'll Pull Out Just To Make Sure.
All Right? Just Tell Me When.
All Right, I Promise.
I Promise Not To Ruin Your Fucking Amazing Sheets.
[ Moaning ]
And I'll Tell You Something Else. Go For It.
You Are Beautiful.
Yeah? I Mean It.
I Mean It, I Mean It, I Mean It.
Your Eyes, They're Just Like Pools Of Hazel.
I'm Sorry, I-I Didn't...
I Don't Know. I Don't Usually...
But You Are Fucking Beautiful.
Thanks.
Mmm.
Thank You.
Wait A Minute. I Know That Look.
Huh? That's The Look I Give To Girls
Who Say Shit Like, "I've Never Gone This Far Before."
I Fucked This Up, Didn't I?
[ Rap ] That's Right
Stopped At The Heat Of The Moment
For The Impact
[ Disc Changer Spins ]
I Never Needed Love
[ Loud Pounding ]
Kris?
[ Whispering ] Oh, Kris.
Oh! Oh! Oh, Kristin.
Kristin Armstrong... Okay, Okay!
Oh, I Need Some Dirty Talk, Man.
You Need Some Dirty Talk?
Mm-Hmm. It Really Gets Me Off.
Okay. Uh...
Don't Stammer With It. Just Say That Shit With Conviction.
Come On. [ Clears Throat ]
I'm Going To Flip You Over And Break My Dick Off In That Naughty Ass.
And I'm Going To Get In There So Deep
That It Makes Your Breath Smell Like Dick Smell.
And Then I'm Going To Come In Your Dick-Smelly Mouth
So Hard It Shoots Out Of Your Ass.
I'm The... So, Here's Me...
Jesus Christ.
What? I Thought That's What You Wanted.
Why Would I Want That?
'cause You're A Filthy Whore.
Sorry. It's Okay.
It's Okay. It's My Fault.
Just Soldier On, Buddy.
Right.
Uh... You Like That?
Mm-Hmm. Hmm.
Okay.
Hm.
[ Sigh ]
We Should Be Having Sex, Not Talking About It.
Maybe It's Not Our Fault.
You Know, Maybe We're Getting Older
And Our Sex Drive's Diminished.
We're 26! Yeah, But That's Not 19.
Yeah, But The Days That We Don't Have Sex,
You Still Jerk Off, Right?
Not Every Day.
Okay. Yes, But Listen.
Having Sex Is...
Is Way Different Than Jerking Off.
I Mean, It's... It's Like...
It's Like A Powerbar Versus A Meal.
And... And... And You Have Powerbars. I've Seen You,
So Don't Say No.
Yes... Right, So There You Go.
Hmmm.
That Is A Crazy, Crazy Load Of Shit.
Yes, We Both Masturbate,
So Then Why Don't We Do It Together?
Why Don't We Have Sex More?
Look, I...
I Think We Both Know That...
You Know, I'm Not That...
Interesting In Bed.
I-I-I See That I Can't Get You Excited And I Just...
I Start To Think, What's The Point? You Know?
What? Look, I Know I've Never Been Like...
Mr. Sex Guy.
You Know, I... I Know Two Moves, That's It.
I Know. You Don't Have To Say It.
Andrew, If You Were Never Good,
Then Why Would I Be With You?
Because You're Afraid Of Being Alone.
What?
You Think The Only Reason That...
I'm With You Is Be...
Oh My God.
You Think The Only Reason I'm With You
Is Because I'm Afraid To Be Alone?
It's Kind Of Sort Of True?
Are You Asking Me?
[ Sobbing ] Oh My God.
If You Think That The Only Reason
We're Together Is Because...
I Thought It Was Because You Weren't Attracted To Me Any More,
Because I Don't Look As Good As I Did When We First Met.
No. No, Baby. No, No.
No, I-I-I Think You Look Better, Actually.
You Do? Well, Yeah.
Yeah. Really?
I Mean, You Gained Weight,
And... And...
[ Bawling ]
No, Honey. No, No, No, No.
I Mean In A Good Way, Like...
Like, Uh... You... You Filled Out.
Hey. You Don't Look Like A Young Girl Any More.
[ Wailing ]
No, No. I Meant It... Arg!
I... I Don't Know What To Say.
What Do You Want Me To Say?
I Want This To Work.
Me Too.
[ Sniffle ]
Well... [ Sigh ]
[ Sniffle ] Maybe We're Just Bored,
You Know, After All This Time.
I Don't Know About That. Just Admit It, Please.
Okay, Maybe, Yeah.
Well, So Maybe We Should Try Something Different.
Okay, Sure.
Like What?
Something Exciting?
Okay. Huh.
You Mean Like, Do It In The Bathtub Or Something, Or...?
I Have The Perfect Idea.
Hmmm. Huh.
Yes! Oh! Oh!
Oh, God! I Want You To Do Anything.
Anything You Want To Me.
Are You Talking To Me?
Yes.
That Means Go For The Ass, Buddy.
What, Forgot I'm Here?
Oh, No, No, No. Look, Don't Stop.
I Did Not Mean Go For The Ass.
I Didn't Want You Guys To Stop. I Just...
I-I Thought You Guys Were Close.
I Know I'm Close So Just...
Just Keep Going. Keep Going.
Come On.
Uh... Go For The Ass Is Not What I Meant.
Your Hand.
Yeah. It's On Me.
I Know. I Just Wanted To Feel The Rhythm Of The Thing.
That's Why I Snuck Over Here.
Yeah. I Don't...
Oh, There You Go. No.
Could You Just Go And Sit Over There?
Oh Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Sure, Sure, Sure.
So Are You Going To Give Up The Ass?
I Did Not Mean Ass.
He's Pretty Much Done Everything Else To You, Hasn't He?
And What Does That Mean When You Say...
Do Anything To Me?
Uh...
I Don't Know.
Yeah. It Doesn't Mean Ass.
I'm Not Doing That. Yeah, But...
When You And I Do It, You...
Yeah, But This Is Different, It's, Um...
It's...
Oh Yeah. Oh, I Think She's Saying That You're Too Big.
Oh.
Is That What You Meant?
[ ]
All Right.
Hey, S-Slow Down, Just A Bit.
If You Want To Control The Speed,
You Can Come Back On Top.
God, When Was The Last Time You Did An Ab Crunch, Mary?
Will You Slow Down? I'm Serious.
Too Much For You, Nancy?
Can't Keep Up?
Would You Stop Calling Me Chick Names, Please?
Susie...
Debbie... Stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
Would You Stop?
[ Giggling ] God!
Yeah.
I Was Going To Come. No.
Yeah, But You... You Hadn't Yet.
That's Okay, Eric. Really.
No, I'm Sorry.
I'm Sorry, I Just...
I Knew What I Was Doing.
I Just Wanted To Get Your First Guy Out Of The Way.
Just Relax, Okay?
Oh-H!
I'm Going To Get A Drink. Do You Want One?
Yeah, Um, A... A Drink Would Be Great.
Thanks.
[ Sigh ]
What's The Matter With You?
Are You Talking To Me?
No!
...I Hear Across The Phone
I'm Out And About
And You're Left All Alone
[ ]
Here You Go, Sailor.
Thanks.
My "First Guy"?
Is That What You Called It?
You're Better After Your First One,
Because You Aren't So Worried About Holding Back.
You're More Present So It's More Fun For Me.
Well, You Just Think You've Got Me All Figured Out, Huh?
You Were Talking To Your Penis Before, Weren't You?
Yes. Yes. Yes, I Was.
Inez: Can We Take A Break For A Second?
Sure.
Yeah, Sure, Sure.
Yeah, I've Got To Pace Myself Anyways, So...
Um...
Okay. Okay.
So, Uh...
Why Me?
Ah, Well, We're Going To Be Moving Out
And Getting Our Own Place Soon.
And, Uh, Inez Is Familiar With You,
Which Is Important. Right.
And You Know, I Really Wanted Somebody
Who Was Going To Do It To Her
And I Knew You Were Well-Equipped
So That Was, Uh, Perfect. Yeah,
How Did You Know That I Had...
You Know, I Guess We've Been Living Together For A While
And I Really Don't Like You Any More.
I Mean, I Don't Hate You
But We Used To Be Tight And Now...
Uh, Not So Much.
I'm Sure Once We're Not Roommates,
I Won't Hate You Any More.
Not Hate, But You Know What I Mean.
I'm Sure We'll Go Back To Being Friends.
But It's Really Easier For Me
To See Her Doing This With Someone That I Really...
You Know...
Don't Like.
Also, Gord Finds You Pretty Attractive.
Right.
Mia & Eric: [ Murmuring ]
We Never Had A Problem With This.
This, We're Good At.
Mmm. Mmm.
Everything Else On The Other Hand... Yeah.
What Do You Mean By That?
You Know What I Mean.
Well, Sure But... But What?
Oh, Nothing.
When We Weren't Being...
Physical We Had Problems.
It Doesn't Mean That, You Know, Overall I Didn't Enjoy It.
Don't Take It Like That.
Well, Yeah, Okay, But... [ Snorting ]
Are You Blaming That On Me?
[ Laugh ]
You Think It's My Fault?
It's Not About You, Eric.
Don't Tell Me What I Think.
All Right, So You Do Think It's My Fault.
Stop. Well, I...
I Only Know What You Think
Because You Make It So Obvious.
Stop It.
I'm Serious.
[ Clears Throat ]
Umm...
Are You, Uh... Are You Still Seeing That...
That Girl? Listen, Oh No.
Um, No, I'm Not... Um...
I'm Not Too Good At The Whole...
One Guy- One Girl Thing
At The Moment, You Know?
I'm Having Too Much Fun.
So... [ Snorting ]
Besides, I Wouldn't Be Here If...
Why? Are You Seeing Someone? No.
No?
What Happened To That Dude At Work You Were Seeing?
Which One?
Exc... Which One? [ Laughing ]
There Was Kind Of Two.
Oh, Well The Only One You Ever Mentioned To Me
Was Tristan. Yeah.
Yeah, Real Macho Sounding.
Oh, Tell Me. Did He Wear Fitted T-Shirts?
So Hot. Yeah. No, Stop It.
What's This Other Sissy's Name?
It's Not Important.
Why? Is He A Friend Of Mine? No.
No? No.
Then Tell Me His Name. No.
Excuse Me? No.
Really? Really? Mm-Mm.
You Should Tell Me His Name. [ Giggling ]
I Think... I Think You Should Tell Me His Name.
No! Give It Up, Lady.
Let's Do It.
Tell Me His Name, Come On.
F-Dog Mac.
Don't Say Anything.
F... F-Dog Mac?
It's His Rap Name
Or Street Name Or Something.
Or His Jail Name! What?
What The Fuck Is That?
Look How Jealous You Are.
No, I'm Not Jealous. I...
I'm Trying To Figure Out What The "F" Stands For.
That's... I Don't Get It. Why Are You So Jealous?
I'm Not Jeal... Hey, Look At This Little...
I'm Not... Jealous Face.
I Am Not Jealous.
I Just, You Know, What...
I Just Want To Make Sure That You Are Treated...
Um... You Know.
I Want You To Be Happy.
I Am.
Well, Good. Very Good.
You? Me?
I Am Very Happy.
Really Happy. Good.
I'm Sorry I Stopped. It's Okay.
It's All Right. I've Got Nowhere To Be. It's Fine.
I Mean, You've Slept With, Like, Every Girl At Work.
Is This How...
Let Me Just Stop You There.
I've Not Slept With Every Girl At Work.
The... What About Mariah? I've Never Slept With Mariah.
She's A Girl Who Got There Before You.
And, Uh... Christina, She...
She Was Beautiful. I Didn't Fucking Touch Her.
Shakira...
Fuck, I'm Lying.
I'm Really Sorry.
I'm Reading Your Cd Covers.
Yeah, I've Slept With Everyone.
Go Ahead.
I Just Thought It Would Be Different.
I Didn't Think There'd Be All This...
Intimacy.
I Mean, It's Not That I Don't Like You.
I Do. It's Just That...
I'm So Sorry. I... It's All On Me.
I Rolled This Shit Out Too Early.
Maybe You're Not Even Supposed To Say It In Bed.
I Have No Fucking Idea. I've...
Well, I Mean, What Kind Of Stuff Do You Usually Say?
You Know, "You've Got The Best Ass Ever,"
That Kind Of Thing, Confidence Boosters.
And What Do You Think Of My Ass?
I Think It's The Best Ass Ever.
I'm Serious. I'm Serious.
And You've Got To Believe Me When I Say I'm An Ass Man,
So... It's An Ass-Terpiece.
[ Giggling ]
All Right.
I'm Going To Go Back In There With You On One Condition.
You've Got To Stop It With The Fucking Goosh Talk,
Because I Am A Player And It Fucks Up Me Shit.
Deal?
[ Sigh ]
Deal. Good.
Mmm!
Huh.
Now, I Know What You're Thinking.
Huh.
I Lied. I Don't Know What You're Thinking.
What Are You Thinking?
Well, For Starters...
Where Did You Get That?
Well, It Was A Door Prize
At Michele's Bachelorette Party.
I Won It. Huh.
[ Forced Giggle ]
Huh.
So... So You, Uh...
I Wear It. Right. And Then You...
I Fuck You.
Oh.
You Like A Little Finger Up There
Once In A While, I Know,
And You Guide My Hand Back There When You're Drunk Enough.
So I Figured... Well, That's A Little Bigger Than A Finger.
We'd Use Lube.
Really?
You Don't Even Want To...
Try?
[ Sigh/Snort ]
Y-You Know, It... It's...
Huh.
You Have A G-Spot Up There We Haven't Found Yet.
Th-That Doesn't Make You The Slightest Bit...
Curious? I Have A What, Now?
I... I... I Didn't Know That.
How Do You Know That? Where Is It?
I Have A What?
I'm Sorry I Even Brought It Up.
Okay? I'll...
Put It Away And...
You Can Relax. You're...
And Then We'll...
[ Whispering ] I Don't Know What We're Going To Do.
Wh-What's In It For You?
There's A...
Little Vibrating Thingy In This Pouch For Me.
So You Could Get Off?
Oh Yeah.
Hmm.
Huh.
Okay.
Really? Yes.
Yes. Okay. Okay.
Okay! Okay.
Okay. Mm-Hmm. Mm-Hmm.
Well, I'm Going To, Um, Just...
You Lay Down.
Shou.... Should We...
Should We Kiss A Little Bit First, You Know?
I Don't Think That's Going To Get Me Any Wetter.
So... Right.
Okay, I'm Just Going To, Um...
[ Long Exhalation ]
Hmmm. [ Kissing ]
It's Okay, Baby.
It's Just The Tip.
That's What They All Say.
[ Panting/ Moaning ]
[ Clears Throat ]
Hmmm. Just Try To Relax.
Mmmm. Yeah. Mmm.
[ Panting ]
[ Vibrator Buzzing ]
Honey? Honey?
I'm Right Here, Baby.
I'm Right Here. I'm Not Going Anywhere. It's Okay.
Okay. It's Okay.
Okay, Sure. It's Okay.
It's Okay. [ Clears Throat ]
Ah... [ Exhaling ]
Happy Birthday, Baby.
Oh Ho! Oh!
[ Rap ]
So, New Game Plan?
Yeah, Just Give Me A Second.
Anything I Can Do?
No, This Has Nothing To Do With You.
What You Thinking About?
I Don't Know. Tits?
I Always Found It Funny That That Jessica Bitch
Thought Of Herself As An Athlete
Just Because She Jumped Horses.
Hmm. What's That Called?
Equestrian.
Equestrian. It's Like: "Bitch,
The Horse Is The Athlete.
He's Doing All The Work."
It'd Be Like If The Olympics
Made Guys Run The 100 Metre Dash Carrying A Midget,
And Then Awarded Gold Medals To The Midget.
Yeah, That's Funny.
I'm...
I'm Not Thinking Of Her, You Know. Okay.
I'm Serious. I'm Not. Okay.
Want Me To...
No, No I've Got It.
Okay, So Maybe We Should Just Call It Here.
You Know, I Will Totally Take The Blame On This.
Thought It Would Be A Great Idea, But It's...
It's Really Not Happening
So I Say We Just Stand It On A Hand Shake
And Blame It On The Alcohol.
You Are Not Going Anywhere!
I Will Not Have You Remembering This
As The Night My Shit Didn't Work.
I Hate To Break It To You, Dude, But...
It Is Not My Fault, Okay?
I-I'm Just A Little Freaked Out Here.
Everything Freaks You Out.
Everything?
Did I Or Did I Not Eat Your Ass
For 20 Minutes Ago?
You Only Did That Because You Felt Like You Had To.
What? I Know You.
You Only Did That Because You Felt Bad
About The Whole Blow-Job Fiasco.
What? Hey, Listen.
Nobody Eats An Ass Out Of Obligation.
I Know How You Think. I'm Not Some Whore Bitch
Who In Six Years Never Took The Time To Know You.
I Have Known You For Almost 20 Years, Matt.
Please Stop Calling Her A Whore Bitch.
I Know That You Were Trying To Act All Macho
When You Were On Top Because I'm Always
Teasing You About Being A Gaylord.
I Know That You Grabbed The Back Of My Neck
Because I Told You Dimitri Did It All The Time.
I Know Everything About You; You Know Everything About Me,
And That's Why You Can't Get It Up.
Where Are My Pants?
Bet You Didn't Know I Had A Crush On You In Grade 4.
Yes, I Did.
But I Was With Morris Whatever.
I Thought Maybe I Had A Crush On You In Freshman Year.
Bet You Didn't Know That.
Yes, I Did, But I Was With Jessica.
Wait. You Knew?
Mm-Hmm.
Okay, Now... Now I'm... I'm Really Out Of Here.
Because, You Know, This Should Never Have Happened.
I Just... I Didn't...
I Didn't Know You Knew That.
Uh, Where Are My Fucking Pants?
You Know, I Thought We Could Just...
We Could Just Do This, But It's Getting...
[ Clears Throat ] Here They Are.
Put Those Fucking Pants Down!
A Fuck Is Just A Fuck.
Did You Or Did You Not Say That?
Are You Seriously Going To Make Me Answer That?
I'm Horny, You're Horny.
Let's Get This Deal Done.
Afterwards We Can Go Back To Being Best Friends,
But Right Now, To Me, You Are Just A Piece Of Meat.
Just A Hot Pussy With... Feet.
Sexy. And To You I Should Just Be
A Big Cock With A Face
And Together We Can Do This Thing. Just Come Back To Bed
And We'll Stop Making It So Difficult, Okay?
We'll... I-It Shouldn't Be This Hard.
But It Is. No, But Not...
If We Just Look At Each Other Like Meat.
If I See Your Boobs And Your Ass... No, No.
No, I Mean It Is Hard.
You Know What's Happening Here?
Do You?
He's Pointing At You.
Oh Yeah? Mm-Hmm.
He Wants You To Get Back In This Bed.
If He Could Go Like This, He Would.
So Get Back In This Bed
And We're Going To Fuck, And That's All.
It's About Me Not Having To Fall For Some Asshole.
And It's About My Balls Needing Emptying.
Just, Uh, Me And My Thing
Against You And Your Thing?
Here's To Hot Ass With Eyes.
I'm Going To...
You Ready?
[ Disc Changer Spins ]
I Never Needed Love
Like I Need You
[ Disc Changer Spins ]
[ Rap ]
Bounce, Bounce, Bounce, Bounce, Bounce, Bounce
You Gotta Ride Clean Escalate For The Team
You Gotta Ride Clean
Whoa. Ho.
[ Panting ]
How You Doing, Baby? Fine, Fine.
Uh, How 'bout You?
Good.
This Vibrating Thingy Is Awesome.
Can I Go Deeper? Oh, Um...
Uh, You Know... Come On, Baby,
Let Me Go A Little Deeper And Find Your G-Spot.
My What Now?
Oh! Ah!
Ho, Ho, Ho. Oh.
Whoa! Huh!
How's That, Baby?
Uh, It's Not... Not Bad.
Oh, Baby, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!
Oh. Oh-Oh!
Huh!
Oh, Okay.
Um, Uh, Okay, [ Panting ]
Whoa, Wait, Wait, Woo, Stop!
Ah! Honey. Honey.
Let's Take It Down A Notch. I'm Coming.
Take It Down A Notch. Honey! Oh, I'm Coming.
Honey, Honey! Oh!
Honey! [ Gasping ]
[ Panting ]
[ ]
Why Are You Going So Slowly?
I Don't Know.
Do You Want Me To Go Faster?
Maybe We Should Go Faster. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.
[ Moaning ]
[ ]
[ Panting ] [ Gasping ]
[ ]
Oh Nice Work, Man.
You Too, Buddy.
Yeah, Yeah, Right There.
Oh, You Like That, You Filthy Whore?
[ Laughing ]
I'm Going To Come Soon.
Oh My God, Me Too.
[ Disc Changer Spins ]
I Never Needed Love
Uh... Like I Need You
And I Never Lived For Nobody
But I Live For You
Oo-Oo, Babe
Lost In Love Is What I Feel
When I'm With You
You Are So Gorgeous.
Baby
Oh I Get Chills When I'm With You
Ooh Ooh
This Is Better Than I Ever Thought. Ever Imagined.
Oh My God, You Feel So Good. You're So Beautiful.
Oh! Oh! Oh, I Love You.
I Love You Too.
[ Gasping ]
[ Growling ] Yes!
Both: [ Groaning ]
Oh Fuck. Ohhhhh! Mmm!
Oh, Thank You.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
Oh Wow. [ Panting ]
Oh Wow. Fuck!
Oh, You Were Amazing.
Me? Yeah.
I Only Made You Come Once.
You Made Me Come, Like, Three Times. Did I?
Oh, Holy Mackerel. Ah, So...
Any Notes?
Well,
There Was One Groan That Was A Bit Much.
Really? Mm-Hmm.
And You Know Which One I'm Talking About.
It Was Like "Aaagh!"
Shut Up.
You Might Just Want To Take That Back A Bit.
You Know, I Didn't Really Buy It.
It Was A Little Too Showy. All Right.
I'll Keep That In Mind For Next Time.
Well, There Was One Point Where You Had To...
You Know What You Could Do For Me?
What's That?
Oh. Oh, No, Baby.
I'm Still Recovering.
You Can't Go Near Me, I'm So Sensitive.
But... You Know What I Would Love?
What? A Scoop Of Ice Cream...
With A Cookie.
And You Could Put It In A Bowl
And Put It In The Microwave And Heat It Up.
You Want Ice Cream? That's Just Adorable.
You May Have To Wash A Bowl.
I Really Don't Mind Putting Ice Cream
In A Washed-Up Bowl.
And Bringing It To Me?
And Bringing It To You.
With A Cookie?
You Know What, I... I'm Really Happy We Did That.
Mm-Hmm. What's That?
Yeah, I-I Mean, Of Course I'm Happy We Had Sex.
That Goes Without Saying But, Uh...
I'm Just Happy That We...
You Know, I'm... I'm Going To... I'm Going To Stop Talking
Because It's Clear That We're Both In The Same Place About This Thing.
I Just Hope It Doesn't Take You Too Long To Recover
Because I'm Ready To Go Again.
Oh!
[ Moaning ]
Uh... [ Gasp ]
Um... [ Vibrator Buzzing ]
You Forgot My Cookie.
[ Moaning ] Oh... Oh...
Oh, Dude, Lift... Lift Her Leg.
Like This? Yeah.
Oh, Just... Yeah, Just Really Pull It.
Oh! Like This?
Inez: Yes, Oh God!
Oh God, I'm Going To Come, I Think.
Oh Yeah! Oh, I'm Going To Come.
Okay, All Right.
Oh, Guys, Oh, Here We Go.
Oh, We Did It!
Huh! Huh! Oh, Check Me Out.
Oh-Ho, Oh-Ho, Oh!
Oh-Ho, Oh. Oh-Ho, Oh. Oh-H-H-H.
Oh, Oh, Oh-Ho,
Oh, Oh!
Oh, Man, That Was Awesome.
You Guys Are So Hot. Yes!
Woo! Where Is It?
Ooh. Huh. Oh Boy.
Oh, Dude, I Know We've Had Our Differences But That Was Great.
Oh And, Baby, You Were So Dirty.
I Was So Hot. Inez: [ Moaning ]
[ Grunting/Moaning ]
Hmm.
[ Grunting/Moaning ]
Okay, I'm Going To... I'm Going To, Uh...
Step Out For A Bit. If You...
Need Me, I'll Just Be, Uh...
[ Moaning Continues ]
[ Moaning/Grunting ]
One Gulp Of Juice!
That's All You Leave Me!
One Fucking Gulp Of Juice. Gord!
What? So I Got To Kill It And Then I Got To Go Buy The New Carton?
Please. Huh, You Think I'm An Idiot?
You Think I'm A Fucking Fool?
Gord! You Think You're Smarter Than Me,
You Big-Dicked Fuck!
Please Put Some Clothes On.
Uh, I Didn't Hear The Microwave Ding.
[ Microwave Dings ]
I'm Confused. Were You Massaging Your Cuticles?
Oh.
I Mean, You Said You Were Raw Down There.
You Said You Came Four Times.
I Know I Did. I Know.
Well, Were You Lying?
No, I Wasn't Lying. It Just...
What?
I Can't Come.
Huh?
And I Try. I Try, Ken.
I Try. It's Just Like...
There's Something Wrong With Me.
It's Supposed To Be This...
This, Like, Fun, Casual Thing.
It's Not.
Not To Me, It's So Fucking Overwhelming.
It's So... It's So Personal...
That I Just... I Can't Do It.
I Can't Stop Thinking, You Know,
What Do I Look Like And What Does He Think Of Me
And What Does This Smell And...
And I Just...
I Can't Do It. I Can't...
I Can't Come.
I Guess...
I Guess I'm Just Not A Very Sexual Person.
[ Sigh ] I'm Sorry.
Hey.
I'm Really Sorry.
It's Going To Be All Right.
So...
When You Say You're Not A Sexual Person...
All Right, I'm Lying. That Was...
That Was Like A Crazy Lie.
Not A Sexual Person. That's Just A Load Of B...
You Are Fucking Lying.
Oh, What The Fuck?
Don't Be So Upset Because You Couldn't Make Me Come.
That's Not Why I'm Upset.
There Have Been Plenty Of Girls I Couldn't Make Come, All Right?
Plenty!
I Trusted You, Jamie.
Yeah, That's Not My Name.
What? It's Dora.
But "Dora" Was Undercutting My Whole Hotness Thing
So When I Moved Here A Few Years Ago,
I Just Started Telling People It Was "Jamie".
You Changed Your Name To "Jamie Fox".
What? That's A Hot Name.
How Was I Was Supposed To Know
He Was Going To Start Winning All These Oscars.
All Right, You Fuck, You're Crazy.
You're Crazy. Oh, Right.
Right. It's Crazy To Lie And Try To Fuck Somebody.
Yeah, That Never Works.
I Know All About You.
I Know...
That You Like Your Girls Innocent,
So I Played The Part Of It.
So What? I Wanted To Get Fucked.
Little Did I Know
That You Were Going To Get Soft In The Balls
And Try To Make Love To Me.
I Mean, What Was That?
How Am I Supposed To Come From That?
And You're Not The Man I Heard About.
You Are A Fucking Hypocrite,
Running Around With Your Jude Law Scarf
And Playing Up Your Accent
And Sticking Your Dick Into Everything With A Toe Ring.
And Then You Come Up In Here
And You Lay Your Primo Bullshit
All Over My Apartment.
And You're Going To Call Me A Liar?
You, My Friend,
Didn't Say One Goddamned Thing Here Tonight
That Wasn't About You Getting Laid.
[ Groan ]
[ Cellphone ] I'm A Scatman
Hey. Man: [ On Phone ] All Right.
I Need The Deets. Was It Good?
No. No, It Wasn't.
Wait, Wait, Wait. Was It Bad?
No, It She's Just A Fucking...
A Trolley, Man. I'd Do Her, But, You Know,
This Whole Fucking Thing Is Lies.
You Know What I Mean? Never Again.
I Swear To God, Never Again.
Yeah, But Was It Worth It?
Hey...
Could You Not Hear Me?
That Was Great.
I-I Said, "Wait."
I Said, Stop. I...
I Said, "No."
[ Chuckling ]
Oh...
Look At You.
I'm Sorry. It's Just I Was So Close And...
You Seemed Like You Were Enjoying It.
That's Not The Point.
It Isn't? Wait. No. Wait, Wait, Wait.
No, It's The Principle Of The Thing.
A Girl Says, Stop, You Stop.
Andrew. No!
This Was Supposed To Be So That We Could Connect.
So We Could Do Something Exciting Together.
But You're Off In Your Own World Again,
Not Listening To Me,
Pre... Pretending I'm Not Even There.
I Bet In Your Mind You Were Ass-Fucking Ian Ziering.
Andrew.
Did You Enjoy It?
I Don't Think That That's The... The Point.
Well, You Came Like Gangbusters.
How Would You Even Know?
You Were Too Busy Think...
You Know He Had A Mullet, Right? A Curly Mullet.
I Know Because I Could Feel You.
Really? Mm-Hmm.
When I Was Inside You,
I Could Feel It When You Came.
That And...
I Th... You've Got Cum All Over Yourself.
Oh, Huh!
Both: [ Laughing ]
Well...
It Wasn't Not Good.
And It Was Great Seeing You So Excited.
I Can't Remember The Last Time I Saw You Like That.
And You Were Definitely
Making Some New Noises Yourself.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Giggling ]
Honey? Yeah?
I'm Not Bored?
Is That A Question?
No, I'm Saying.
I'm Not Bored Either.
Whoa! Oh!
I Forgot, Can We, Um...
Yeah. Okay.
Sorry.
Whoo.
Hmmm.
Mm-Hmm.
[ Giggling ]
So...
I Thought This Was What You Wanted.
I Did. I Do. I...
You Looked Great, Baby.
I Love You So Much. I Know.
Uh, I Know.
Do You?
S-She Did All Of This For You.
No, No, No, No, No, No,
We Talked About This. She...
She Was Just As Excited About This As I Was.
S-She Wanted This Just As Much As Me.
I Just Wanted To Make You Happy.
You Make Me Happy.
No, Please Don't Do That. Come On.
Look At Me.
I Don't Deserve A Hot Chick Like You.
Every Time We Go Out, Everybody's Looking At Us
Like, "What Is She Doing With That Guy?"
Don't Tell Me You Don't Notice It.
I See It.
I Just Wanted To Give You Something
That Was More What You Deserve.
Then I Could See You Really Be Happy.
That's Why This Was So Hot For Me.
Oh-H, Baby.
When I See People On The Street Look At Us Like That...
Oh See, You... You Do Notice It.
That's... Yeah, I Knew It.
I Knew It. Yes.
I Notice It.
And I Love It.
It Makes Me Feel Like I Have This Great Wonderful Secret,
Like I Know Something That Nobody Else Does,
Like You... Are Just For Me.
But Look At This Guy. He's Got The...
You Know, The Firm Ass And...
Cute Nose. And Look At This Shit.
Can We Please...
Yes.
It Was Nice And He's Cute And Everything,
But The Entire Time, I Was Just Thinking Of You.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, But I'm...
I'm A Pervert.
So Am I.
I Have This Thing With Shoes.
I Like To Steal People's Shoes
Because The Smell Of Them Gets Me Really...
I Love You. Oh My God, You Are So Hot.
I Love You So Much.
Baby, You Are So Hot.
You Said That Already.
I Love You Too, Baby. Oh!
Oh! I Want You To Do Anything You Want.
Anything? Oh God, Yes.
Anything You Want. I'm Just Going To Take You
And Just Do You Every Which Way I Can
Right Here On This Bed. Yeah.
I'm Going To Grab You And Pull Your Hair
And Rip You And...
And Then I'm Going To Hold You. Ah!
I'm Going To Caress You Oh!
And I'm Going To Make Love To You. [ Moaning ]
Freaky, Freaky- Ass Love
Yeah! All Over The Place, Baby.
Okay, Guys, I Think I'm Just...
I'm Going To Pop Out Of Here Quick.
Gord: Oh, Dave, Wait.
[ Sigh ]
I'm Sorry For, Uh...
I Don't Mean To Be A Dick.
I Know.
And I Want To Say Thank You
For Fucking My Girlfriend, It Was...
All Right.
There We Go. All Right.
No, No.
Our Dicks Are Touching.
Nice.
Okay.
Later, Freaks.
Good Night, Perv.
So...
Are We Cool? Mm, Yeah.
Yeah? You Love Me?
Yes.
Are You Going To Give It To Me?
Oh, Yes.
You'd Do Any- Thing For Me?
Anything. Anything You Want, Baby.
Hmm.
You Know...
I Was Watching The Two Of You Hug Over There
And It Was Nice.
Nice And Hot.
[ ]
I Just Opened A New Bottle.
I Didn't Know What To Pick.
Here.
Thank You.
Here. Cheers. Cheers.
So You're Off?
I... [ Sniffing ]
I Mean, I Didn't Want To Be Too Much Of An Imposition For You,
You Know? And Also... [ Sighing ]
I've Got To Be At Work
Early In The Morning, Of Course.
Okay Then.
I Guess I'll, Uh, Walk You To The Door.
Yes. Okay.
Give My Best To Jasmine.
I Will.
Say "Hi" To Fuck Dog For Me.
Shut Up.
Okay.
Hmmm.
Um...
I, Uh, Might Not Be Able To Call You For A While
Because Work And Everything Has Been Crazy.
Yeah, I Know, Me Too. Me Too.
Huh, Me Too. [ Chuckle ]
[ Awkward Laughs ]
Yeah. Well...
This, Um...
Has Been Fun.
Yeah.
Come Here.
[ Sigh ] Okay.
Bye.
[ ]
The Sun Is Coming Up
And My Plane Is Going Down
[ ]
The Sun Is Coming Up
And My Plane Is Going Down
The Sun Is Coming Up
I'm Your Novocain
Okay. Yeah.
I'm Your Novocain
It Was Fun. Yep.
I'm Your...
High Five.
I'm Your...
Man, I Am... I'm So Drunk. Huh.
Oh.
Me Too.
Okay, Night-Night.
Hey, Matt, Listen.
When I Said That I... [ Disc Changer Spins ]
What Is This?
Ah? Tha... Uh, That?
I Don't Know What That Is. It's...
Somebody's Leaving Cds In My, Uh...
Player.
[ Laugh ]
Fine, Go Ahead.
I'm The Gaylord-Iest Gaylord Ever.
Say Whatever You're Going To Say.
I Love This Song.
You... Yeah.
I'm Not Drunk.
Me Neither.
I'm Sorry I Keep Calling Her A Whore Bitch.
She Is A Whore Bitch.
You're Just Saying That Because I Said It.
No, I'm Not. Yes, You Are.
You Always Say Stuff After I Say It
Just Because You Feel You Should.
[ Scoffing ] I Do Not. I...
Wait.
Uh, Are You Talking About When I Said
After You... You Said,
Because I Meant What I Said.
Are You Saying I Didn't Mean That? Because I Did.
Shut The Fuck Up, Man. You Shut The Fuck Up.
I Think We Need To Have That Conversation
Because I Meant What I Said.
Shut Up. You Shut Up.
Matt, Stop Talking.
I Don't Know?
You Want To...
We Could Do Something Else.
Hmm...
Nothing Else Comes To Mind.
[ ]
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out...
Closed Captioned By Mijo Corporation
...Before They Turn The Lights Out
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out
What Are You Waiting For?
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out
What Are You Waiting For?
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out
What Are You Waiting For?
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out
What Are You Waiting For?
Turn The Light Out
Before They Turn The Lights Out
What Are You Waiting For?
[ ]
[ "Bra" By Beck ]
[ ]
Time Has Been Lost For Trying
We Have Been Left Outside
Looking At Passions Dying
Emotions Grow Strong All Time
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
[ ]
They Might Have Said We're Lying
No Matter How Hard We Try
Those Who Have Watched Us...
Can't Figure How Love Has Died
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
[ ]
Time Has Been Lost For Trying
We Have Been Left Outside
Looking At Passions Dying
Emotions Grow Strong All The Time
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
We Can Still Go On
But It's All Right
Hey, Dave.
Dave! You Awake?
You Are, Aren't You?
You're Nice-Y Nice.