早上好 女士们 Morning, ladies.
- 早上好 Veiny！ - 哦! - Morning, Veiny! - Oh!
嘿 Amber 你昨晚有没有收到 大约180条超级奇怪的短信? Hey, Amber, did you get, like, 180 of the strangest texts last night?
我在考虑报警呢 I'm thinking about calling the police.
我才不跟你讲话 I'm not talking to you.
还有对啊 吓死我了 And yes, I'm very freaked out.
Marsh! 你去哪儿了? Marsh! Where have you been?
肯定没去拍一张自己小鸡鸡的照片... Definitely not taking a picture of his dick --
也没有把照片发给学校的每一个女生! and sending it to every girl in the school!
哦 我感觉好丢人! Oh, I am so embarrassed!
我以为这个计划是让我们一起丢人的 I thought the plan was for us to all feel embarrassed together.
如果没有他的小鸡鸡的照片... There can't be solidarity --
就不会有团结! without a pic of that dick!
- Marsh是叛徒! - 听着 兄弟们 不是我的错 - Marsh is a traitor! - Look, guys, it's not my fault.
我没法勃起 因为总是有人来打扰 I couldn't get an erection because I kept getting interrupted.
我只是需要单独待一会儿 I just need to be alone for a little bit.
我发誓 马上回来 I swear. I'll be right back.
终于可以了 Finally.
开始了 嗯哼 Here we go. Ahem.
天哪 Marsh 你在那儿 God, Marsh, there you are.
你能告诉Cassandra我恨她吗? Can you tell Cassandra that I hate her?
是啊 Marsh！你能不能告诉我 Amber恨我 Yeah, Marsh! Can you tell me that Amber hates me,
因为我不想听她说出来 because I don't want to hear it from her.
- 不 倒过来! - 姑娘们! 求你们了 别吵了 - No, the other way around! - Girls! Please, stop arguing.
没看到我正在试着要勃起吗 Can't you see I'm trying to get a penis erection.
好吧 我们坐在这 看着你完事 Fine. We'll sit here and watch you till you're done.
棒极了 那很有效的 Super. That may actually help.
谢谢了 姑娘们 Thanks, girls.
哦 Marsh 你的小鸡鸡怎么了? Oh, Marsh, what's wrong with your penis?
- 很饥渴吗? - 不 我倒希望那就是问题所在 - Is it thirsty? - No, I wish that was the problem.
事实是... The truth is --
最近我都没法勃起 I haven't been able to get an erection lately.
我本来以为 就是因为总有人来打扰我 I thought it was just because I kept getting interrupted.
但是现在旁边坐着两个女孩 我都没法硬起来 But now I can't even get hard with two girls around.
我觉得我可能... I think I might be...
- 不举 - 额 - Impotent. - Ew.
天哪 十六岁就不举了? God, 16 and impotent?
真是我听过的最糟糕的事了 That's like the worst thing I've ever heard.
我想跟Marsh相比 我们的问题真蠢啊 I guess our problems are just silly compared to Marsh's.
对不起 Amber I'm so sorry, Amber.
至少我们有正常运转的身体器官 I mean, at least we have normal, functioning body parts.
没有哪个男生要比我们的友谊重要 No boy is more important than our friendship.
甚至是"Bent" Even "Bent."
你说的是Brent You mean Brent.
我爱你 Cassandra I love you, Cassandra.
噢 闺蜜 我也爱你 Aw, bestie, I love you too.
嘿 女士们! Hey, ladies!
什么事 Marsh? Um, what's up, Marsh?
我觉得 我开始勃起了! I think it's starting to work!
- 哇哦! - 快 拍下来! - Whoa! - Quick, take a picture of it!
天哪 Gosh,
看着你们好好相处 我就能勃起了 just seeing you guys getting along gave me an erection.
现在我就要把它发出去 I am so totally sending this out right now.
结果 最能让我兴奋的就是... It turns out my biggest turn on is...
友谊 Friendship.
耶! Yay!
我们都一起丢人了! We're all embarrassed together!
Marsh, Marsh, Marsh! Marsh, Marsh, Marsh!
大家都和睦相处! Boy, look at everyone getting along so well!
每个人 除了Brent Everyone, that is, except Brent.
嘿 Brent在哪儿? Hey, where is Brent?
我们做这些都是为了他 I mean, we did all of this for him.
哦! 你没听说吗? Oh! Didn't you hear?
似乎他用手机照那些小鸡鸡的照片 Turns out taking all those pictures of his penis --
得了老二癌 with a cellphone gave him dick cancer.
Brent死了! Brent's dead!
# 啦啦啦啦啦 # la la la la lai
# 大家都能认出我的脸 # everybody knows me by my face
# 但你会认出我的其他部位 # but you're gonna know me by some other place
# 那里是性事之源 # a place where the birds meet the bees
# 拍的时候我从不用说茄子 # a place where you never need me to say cheese
# 茄子! # say cheese!