都他妈的兴奋起来吧 表演开始啦 Let's fucking get it on right now. Let's go.
来啊 来啊 Come on. Come on.
这儿 这儿 Here. Here.
现在 今晚我要跟你们一起复习复习几条规则 Now, I want to go over a few rules with y'all tonight.
这些是否可以? 不要担心 规则一 Ain't that all right? Don't worry about it. Rule number one.
这是关于哪里能摸那里不能摸的规则 This is the "What can you touch and not touch" Rules.
你能摸这里吗? Can you touch this?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
第二处 Second touch.
你能摸这里吗? Can you touch this?
不 不 不 No, no, no.
最后 And finally....
最后一处 女士们 你们能摸这儿吗? Last one, ladies. Can you touch this?
你能不能摸这儿? Can you ever touch this?
好了 这就是法律里说的不能摸的地儿 Well, that's who the law says that you cannot touch.
但是 我今晚在这儿看见了不少想要违法者 But I think I see a lot of lawbreakers up in this house tonight.
而且 这里没有条子 And I don't see a cop in sight.
是不是? All right?
噢 Oh.
看来我今天穿不了内裤了 You know, I gotta go commando today because someone...
因为昨晚某人把我最喜欢的那条撕坏了 ...ripped off my favorite pair of panties last night.
-嘿 这有什么好笑的 -嘿 哦 抱歉 - Hey. It's not funny. - Heh, oh, sorry, heh.
-那是我祖母的 -肯定不是 - They were my grandma's. - They were not your grandma's.
它就是 They could have been.
你把那边的那件T恤扔给我吧 Can you throw me, uh, that shirt right there?
嘿 她怎么办 Hey, what are we gonna do about her?
我不知道 I don't know.
她叫什么来着? What was her name again?
什么?我怎么 What? I don't--
抱歉 她叫什么? I'm sorry. What's her name?
啊 Uh.
你竟然也不知道 You don't even know.
-我知道 -你带过来的 你应该知道 - I do. - You found her. You have to remember her.
-我知道她的名字 -叫什么? - I know her name. - What is it, then?
叫... It's....
Penelope Penelope.
管她叫什么呢 玩爽就行了 Whatever her name was, she was fun.
茶几不错 哪里买的 That's a cool table. Where'd you get it?
就是上次飓风过后 That's just some old shit
在海滩上捡的一些破东西 that blew up on a beach after the last hurricane.
-你自己做的? -嗯 - You made that? - Hmm
你该把这些东西拿出去卖 You should sell these things.
谢谢 的确是个好主意 Tsk, thank you. That's actually the idea.
麦记定制家具店 Mike's Custom Furniture Concepts.
但是市场不太吃这一套啦 But the market hasn't really hit the sweet spot yet.
嗯 我等着银行 Hm, I'm waiting for the bank
给我提供有竞争力的贷款 to make the competitive loans I'm looking for...
然后我会一举拿下 ...and then I'll swoop in.
不错 Cool.
我要走了 没什么事吧 I'm going to get out of here. You guys are good?
什么? 你这就要扔下我们走人 What? You're just gonna leave us?
是的 你不会想要偷点什么走吧 Yeah. What, are you gonna steal a bunch of my shit or something?
没准 陌生人不就是干这个的吗 Probably. That's what strangers do.
-别这样做 -好吧 - Don't do that... maybe? - Okay.
-好 -嗯 - Okay. - Okay.
那我还能再见到你吗? So I'm going to see you again?
谢谢 呃 有可能吧 我也不知道 到时给你打电话吧 Tsk, uh, yeah, probably. I don't know. I'll, uh, call you.
再见 Bye.
George和那些人呢? Where's George and the guys?
他们骗了我 然后在最后时刻换了人 They fucked me and took
所以我找到了这些人 another gig last minute. So I got these guys.
你在哪里找到的他们? Where'd you get them?
呃 你了解的 同行推荐的 Uh, you know, ah, industry referrals.
-我操 你竟然从分类广告外找人 -嘿 - My dick. You got them off Craigslist? - Heh.
我不允许这儿有那些联合起来的人们 I can't have fucking union guys around here...
为了福利什么的叫叫叫 我得歇歇 ...barking about benefits and shit. Give me a break.
那我怎么办? So, what am I supposed to do in there?
-嗨 你是Sol? Sal Adam -Sal - Hey, you Sol? Sal. Adam. - Sal.
哦 Adam你好 这是Mike Oh, Adam, how you doing? This is Mike.
你们要一起工作 You guys are gonna be working together.
给我两分钟好吗?我这有点事要处理 Give me a minute? I want to straighten something out there.
你可以在那等会儿 You can hop up there.
-你他妈在耍我吧 -什么? - You gotta be fucking kidding me. - What?
他穿着傻逼的网球鞋 他不知道怎么 He's wearing fucking tennis shoes. He doesn't know--
呃 嘿 算帮我个忙吧 Ah, heh, do me a favor,
他只要14美元一小时 go up there and do it for 14 bucks an hour.
我要20美元一小时 I'm gonna do it for 20 bucks an hour.
-我只能给你18美元 - I'll give you 18. - Mm-mm.
别再讨价还价了 你就像我孩子一样 Don't fuck with me. You're like my son.
是你的孩子你就会给20美元了 The son which you're gonna pay $20 an hour.
怎么了? What's up?
你以前铺过房顶吗? You ever, uh, tiled a roof before?
-没 -操 - No. - Fuck.
你是怎么找到这份工作的? How'd you get this job, anyways?
分类广告 Craigslist.
然后你在简历里说你干过这个? And you put on your post that you'd tiled houses before?
是的 Yeah.
不傻啊 Right, ugh.
你包里藏了什么 So, what do you got in your bag?
-你为什么不打开它? -这里边没什么 - Why don't you open it up? - There's nothing in it.
在我打破你的头之前 Why don't you open the
最好乖乖把包打开 fucking bag before I open your fucking head up?
我拿了个火腿 还有奶酪三明治 I got a nice ham, cheese sandwich....
你识字吧? You know how to read, huh?
一天一瓶百事 冰箱上写着呢 One Pepsi a day. Read the cooler.
我要去查查存货 I'm gonna do my inventory.
如果短了货 全算到你头上 If I come up short, I'm coming right to you.
是没电了吗? Is it dead?
哪里没电了? What's that?
如果你乐意我能载你一程 估计不是蓄电池的事 I can try to jump you off if you want, but it's not the battery.
你今天背透了 I think you're probably fucked.
Just tell them if they want to get into this...
...be up there. I'll see you at the Amp. All right. Later.
你在干什么? 住手 你他妈在干什么 What are you doing? Stop. What the fuck are you doing, man?
对不起 Sorry.
那是新的 如果你不揭掉那些该死的塑料膜 It's new. It's gonna stay
它就会一直那么新 new if you don't rip off the damn plastic.
你为什么不揭掉它们 Why do you have that?
因为它有保护作用 Because it protects it.
等我卖这辆车时我才揭它 I'm going to rip it off when I'm ready to sell it.
它能像新的一样 It'll be like brand-new.
你来自哪里? Where are you from?
柑橘泉 Citrus Springs.
你玩什么球吗? Did you play ball?
嗯 玩 我是强力后卫 Uh, yeah. Strong safety.
你看起来不像后卫的样啊 You don't look like a strong safety.
在大学时打 I gave that, uh, college
打得不是很好 thing the college try. Didn't quite work out.
抵挡不住房顶生意的吸引了? Couldn't resist the lure of the roofing business?
是啊 还有我姐姐沙发的吸引 Yeah, that and the lure of my sister's couch.
帮我个忙吧 今晚带我去取车 Can you do me a favor and drop me off at my car tonight?
不行 对不起 我有个晚餐要赴 No, I'm sorry. I'm going to dinner.
但我可以明天早晨带你去 I can take you tomorrow morning,
你几点上班 though. What time do you have to be at work?
我需要和你谈谈工作的事 那个领班 呃 I need to talk to you about that, heh. The foreman, uh...
他指责我偷东西 所以 我炒了他 ...he accused me of stealing. So I fucking quit.
-什么? -是的 但是我 - What? - Yeah, but I have....
我去了那个电信公司的面试 Well, I had that interview at T-Mobile.
但他们要求我系傻逼领带 So, uh, yeah. They asked me to wear a fucking tie.
你知道我他妈的系领带时什么感受 You know how I feel about wearing a fucking tie.
你就系上又能怎样? Why don't you just wear a tie?
抱歉 你知道我的原则 Sorry. You know what my rules are.
哦 天哪 弟弟 Oh, God, brother.
怎么了?我也 What? I also...
能做 ...could do....
-什么? -什么? - What? - What?
-你说了什么? -你听到什么? - What did you say? - What did you hear?
你又那样了 你又开始玩那个小把戏了 You're doing that thing. You're doing that game.
-什么把戏? -不 你一直那样做 - What game? - No. You do that all the time.
那不管用了 It's not working anymore.
-说到游戏 我或许能做个游戏商 -哦 是啊 - Talking about games, I could be a gamer. - Oh, yeah.
-我可以把它卖给人们 -你会赚大钱的 - And I could sell it to people. - You'll make so much money.
-我能发出游戏里的声音 -能有更多钱了 - I could be the voice of the game. - You can make even more money.
我有个非常棒的声音 能给人很深的印象 I have a very good voice. I do great impressions.
你的确能给人很深的印象 昨晚你做的那个是什么? You do do good impressions. What was the one you did last night?
-我现在不做 -嘿 再做一遍 再做一遍 - I'm not going to do it now. - Heh, do it again. Do it again.
-不 -来吧 - No. - Come on.
听着 Listen to me.
哪些是我的玉米饼 These are my tortillas.
上我的直升机 John Connor 跟我一起来 Get in the chopper. John Connor, come with me.
-呃啊 -好了 好了 - Argh! - Okay. All right.
如果这些帮不了你 Just in case that doesn't work out,
你不如今晚跟我一起去吃饭 why don't you come to dinner with me...
见见Paul ...and Paul tonight?
你可以问问他有没有朋友有工作机会 You can ask him if any of his friends have any job openings.
但有的时候人们想要 But sometimes people want to, you know...
他们认为他们应得的应该更多 ...they think they're owed a lot more than,
这太糟了 Bummer uh, they deserve. So too bad. Bummer.
但是 管他呢 Uh, but, uh, you know, whatever. Sucks.
我可不想做那个告诉他们 呃 I just don't have to be the guy that tells them, uh, you know...
他们再也没机会重建他们房子的人 ...that they're, uh, not going
无论如何 to be able to rebuild their houses. Um, anyway....
我们谈点别的吧 Uh, let's talk about something else, you know.
嗯 我已经厌烦谈论医补 You're right. I'm sick of talking about Medicaid...
还有保险什么的了 ...and processing insurance forms as well. I get it.
-是啊 -我懂了 - Right. - I get it.
是啊 我的意思是 Right. I mean, it's slightly
当你在做医补索赔和大额财产损失索赔时 different when you're doing Medicaid claims...
其实有些差别 ...and when you're doing huge property damage claims...
-我还以为都是一类事呢 -是 - ...but I guess it's a similar kind of thing. - Yeah.
哦 等等 Oh, wait, wait.
-记得我说过什么了么? -嗯 抱歉 - Remember what I said? - Hmm, I'm so sorry.
我今晚实在是不能驾车 这周末一直是我开 I just can't drive tonight. I've been driving all weekend.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
-别担心 -我只是忘了 - No worries. - I just forgot.
这儿有人能喝了它 Someone will finish it, I think.
-喝了它那 -我会 - There you go. There's a taker. - I will.
-啧 -好喝吗? - Tsk. - Good?
你去哪? Where are you going?
嗨 你知道今天是谁跳舞吗? Uh, hey, do you know who's spinning tonight?
呃 Heh, uh....
-不知道 抱歉 -没关系 - No. Sorry. - All right.
嘿 Mike Hey, Mike.
Mike Mike.
抱歉 老兄 Sorry, bro.
嘿 Mike Hey, Mike.
-嗨 哥们 -嗨 - Hey, man. - Yo.
-干嘛呢你? -你呢? - Heh, what's going on? - What's going on, bro?
-你要进去吗? -是啊 我们要进去 - Are you going in? - Yeah, we're going.
我能跟你们一起吗? Can I come with you?
呃 Uh....
老兄 你这样他们永远不会让你进去的 Pfft, dude, they're never gonna let you in like that.
求你了 我什么都能做 Come on. I'd do anything.
嘿 这不是我的错 我只是说他们不许你进 Heh, it's not my fault. I'm just saying they're not gonna do it.
我愿意让你进去 但他们不愿意 I would do it, but-- I don't think they're going to do it, bro.
好吧 All right.
没事吧? All right?
操 好了 哥们 嘿 Fuck. Okay, dude. Hey.
呃 Um....
你欠我个人情哦 You're going to owe me.
-我保证 -你欠我的啊 - I promise, man-- - I mean, owe me.
毫无疑问的欠我的 No questions asked, owe me.
涌泉相报 Anything.
把你的帽兜放下来 Take your hood off. Try to
看起来再 把你那破汗衫塞进去 look a little more-- Tuck your fucking shirt in.
你不该穿网球鞋的 老兄 You got to not wear tennis shoes, bro.
George 老兄 我带进去个 抱歉 George, dude, I got one. I'm sorry. I know, I know.
谢了 老兄 我欠你的 Thanks, bro. I owe you.
抱歉 我就这一双鞋 Sorry, man. These are the only shoes I got.
嗨 宝贝 我们能拿一杯吗? Hey, baby, mwah. Can we borrow one of these?
谢了 拿一个 Thank you. Grab one.
这是免费的? Is it free?
别担心 是你的你就拿着 Don't worry, man, you're gonna earn your keep.
我给大家带来个新成员 So I got us a new recruit.
美女们 认识认识这个孩子 这是Portia和Ruby Ladies, meet the Kid. Portia, Ruby.
嗨 Hey.
嗨 Heh, hey.
你们认为他怎么样?好 不好 还是一般? What are we thinking? Yes, no, maybe?
-哦 不错 豹子也会想吃了他的 -是吗? - Oh, yeah. The cougars will eat him up. - Yeah?
这是对你的赞赏 哥们 That's a quality endorsement, my friend.
你们是干什么的? What do you guys do?
-什么? -过来 过来 - What? - Come here. Come here.
无论何时 女孩要是告诉你她们的名字 Any time a girl tells you her name starts with a flower...
是花名和车名或者石头名 就不要问她们是做什么的 ...A car or a stone, don't bother asking what she does.
懂了吗? You know what I'm saying?
字幕 All right, I ain't got that much time,
字幕 so I'm calling in my favor, all right?
字幕 Okay.
字幕 You see the girl with the tiara thing and the sash?
字幕 - Yeah. - Go talk to her.
字幕 What do you want me to say?
字幕 I don't care. Have you never
字幕 talked to a girl before? Just go talk to her.
字幕 Be creative.
字幕 She does not look like she wants to be bothered.
字幕 Look at what she's wearing. She came here tonight to be bothered.
字幕 Go bother her. You want to be inside or outside?
字幕 Inside.
字幕 I'll come save you in a minute. Get out of here.
字幕 I'm getting wasted tonight if we could get a drink.
字幕 I know.
字幕 She's, like, ignoring the whole side of this bar.
字幕 - Hey. - Hey, Carla.
字幕 Um, oh....
字幕 Yo, man. Watch out, you're going to knock my girlfriend.
字幕 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, what the fuck are you gonna do?
字幕 - Uh, hi. Do I know you? - Hi.
字幕 Uh, no. I'm, uh...
字幕 I didn't know that I had a boyfriend, but thank you for that.
字幕 Um, all the guys here are fucking obnoxious.
字幕 - Thanks for that. - Heh.
字幕 Who do we have to fuck to get a fucking drink?
字幕 Uh, me, please?
字幕 - You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Uh, yes, I would.
字幕 We've been standing around here for quite a while, and I'm 21.
字幕 - It's true. - And I can't get drunk.
字幕 - You're 21? - Yes.
字幕 Happy 21st. I'd buy you guys a shot if I--
字幕 - Don't worry about it. - It's fine.
字幕 Oh, Adam.
字幕 - Hi. - Hi.
字幕 - I'm Liz. Hi. - Hi, Liz.
字幕 What do you say, baby boy? You want one?
字幕 I can't find anybody to take these. Y'all want them?
字幕 - Perfect. We can't drink them all ourselves. - Whoo.
字幕 Uh, here's to, um, our children.
字幕 May they have rich fucking parents, heh.
字幕 Heh, absolutely.
字幕 - Yes. Okay. - Whoo.
字幕 - What, you guys go to USF? - Yeah.
字幕 - Mm-hm. - So it's summer break, correct?
字幕 - That's right. - Whoo.
字幕 And if I'm not mistaken, that says "21," Right?
字幕 I am 21, yes.
字幕 - Then why the fuck isn't she throwing up? - Whoo.
字幕 - We can't get drinks. - Ha, ha.
字幕 You can't get drinks? That's no excuse.
字幕 That's a bad friend you got.
字幕 I'm not a bad friend.
字幕 - You are a bad friend. - I'm trying.
字幕 You are a bad friend.
字幕 See? You heard it from her. I'm just saying.
字幕 - What are you guys planning on doing tonight? - Ha, ha.
字幕 Wouldn't you like to know?
字幕 - Actually, I would, to be totally honest. - Ha, ha.
字幕 If you like to get a wee bit crazy,
字幕 why don't you come down and see the show?
字幕 - Are you serious? Wow. - As a fucking heart attack.
字幕 We have a lot of friends here. Can they come too?
字幕 - How many? - Eight or nine?
字幕 That's perfect, actually.
字幕 Hand them these. Tell them they get in free at the door.
字幕 Okay. Maybe we'll come.
字幕 No. That's not a commitment.
字幕 Maybe we'll come, if your little friend here comes too.
字幕 - Me? - Oh, "Little friend."
字幕 That's an easy if, because he will be there.
字幕 - He's absolutely gonna be there. - I will?
字幕 Then we'll be there too.
字幕 All right. The show starts in 45 minutes.