I think he's a funny guy. 我觉得他很逗
He's original, he's hilarious, 有独创性 诙谐搞怪
and he's a superstar, 是大明星啊
and I have two tickets for me and my baby 我买了两张票 和女朋友一起
to go see him. Gonna be a great show. 来看他的演出 一定很精彩
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As he says, there's black folks 如他所说 到场的都是黑人观众
and there's niggers. 黑哥们
I think he's a very progressive black man. 我觉得他是个上进的黑小伙
I think he's true with everything he says. 我觉得他说的话都是由衷而发
He hits home, I mean, 很能切中要害
all his jokes are on point 所有的笑话都很在点子上
and you know exactly what he's talking about. 你能完全领会
DC, are you ready? 华盛顿 准备好了吗?
Give it up for my brother, 掌声欢迎我的哥们
the one, the only, 独一无二的
Chris Rock! Chris Rock出场!
Chris Rock 无所畏惧
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仅供翻译交流使用, 禁止用于商业用途
协调：single_single
翻译：少亭 小婧子 潇妹纸 13711 Nefertarii Leon single_single
校对：甜蜜的向往 Uriana single_single
Thank you! Thank you! 谢谢! 谢谢大家!
Thank you all for coming out. Yes. 感谢大家捧场 嗯
Welcome. Sit yo asses down. 欢迎 都坐好了
Sit yo black asses down, man. 给我老实坐定了
Thank you all for coming out 感谢大家光临
to my fourth HBO Special. 我的HBO专场第四站
That's right, baby. 是的没错
Number four! Yeah! 第四场! 耶!
Yeah, this is the Kill Bill one, 嗯 这只是"杀死比尔"第一部
"杀死比尔"共两部 两部上映的间隔时间很长
you know what I'm saying? 懂?
Gonna do it right, man. 可不能演砸了啊
It's good to be here in Washington, DC. 很高兴来到华盛顿特区
DC. 特区哦
That's right. Lovely Constitution Hall, 真不错 富丽堂皇的宪法大厅
that's right, man. 没错
Now I haven't toured in a long time, 我很久没办巡回演出了
I haven't done a special for a long time. 也很久没开过专场了
I was waiting for special things to happen, 我期望能遇到点特别的事
and a lot's happened in my life 因为我上次巡演之后
since the last time I was on the road, man. 真是发生了不少事儿
I had a little baby girl, had a little baby girl. 我有了女儿 一个小丫头
Little baby girl. 一个小丫头啊
It's not a big deal. 这也没啥
I mean, even roaches have kids, right? 就连蟑螂也生小孩 是吧?
But I got a little baby girl. 但我生的是丫头
And it's amazing when you have a girl 真太棒了 你一个男人
you're a man and you have a girl, 有了自己的丫头
it's eye-opening. 感触很深
Cos I realize I'm the man in her life. 因为我意识到 我是她一生中最先接触到的男人
And my relationship with my daughter 我和我女儿的关系
is gonna affect her relationship with men 会影响到她在今后的人生中
for the rest of her life. 和其他男人的关系
And every man in here 在座各位男士
has dated a woman with some daddy issues. 肯定和一些有某父情结的妹子谈过吧
That shit ain't fun, OK? 这事情不是闹着玩儿的啊 是不是?
She giving you a hard time over some shit 她因为她老爸1969年做的那点破事儿
her daddy did in 1969, OK? 害得你没好日子过 有过没?
That shit ain't never fun. 不是闹着玩儿的啊
Sometimes I'm walking with my daughter, 有时我和女儿散步 看她一摇一摆的
talking to my daughter, 我跟她说话
I'm looking at her pushing on her stroller, 看她小手推着婴儿车
and sometimes I pick her up and stare at her 有时候我把她抱起来 望着她
and I realize my only job in life... 我想到 我一生唯一要做的...
is to keep her off the pole. 就是让她离那根钢管远点 (暗指钢管舞女)
Keep my baby off the pole! 让我宝贝儿离那根钢管远远的!
I mean they don't grade fathers 我说虽然没人爹评级
but if your daughter's a stripper, 但你女儿要是跳脱衣舞的
you fucked up. 你走远了
Yeah. You went mighty wrong there, baby. 是吧 你绝对走远了
You thought you had a household? 你以为你组了个温馨小窝?
No, you got a ho camp. 不 你组了个鸡窝
You know I'm not making fun of the strippers 我不是存心拿脱衣舞女开涮
cos some of these girls were abused. 她们中的一些的确受过虐待
Some of them just missed a few hugs. 但有些不过是因为少了些关爱
Some of them were like, "Daddy, can we talk?" 她们说 "爸爸 我们说会儿话吧?"
"Hey, I'm watching the game." "哎 我看比赛呢"
"I'll show you!" "你等着瞧!"
"I'm gonna dance naked to Motley Crue records." "我要为克鲁小丑乐团的唱片跳裸舞"
美重金属乐团 团员以颓废私生活闻名
"I'm gonna change my name to Cinder Buns" "我会弄个艺名叫辣臀妹"
俚语 意译为"火辣的屁股"
"and I'm gonna wear clear heels." "我还会去穿透明高跟"
When did clear heels become the new whore uniform? 什么时候透明高跟成了小姐的标配了?
When did that happen? 什么时候的事儿?
Was there a big old ho convention 是不是一帮小姐一起开过个例会
and all the hoes got together and said, 人头聚齐了说
"We need something new." "咱来点新的东西吧"
"Something that just says 'nasty'." "弄点直接透着淫荡气息的"
One girl said, "I got it! Clear heels!" 一女的说 "有了! 透明高跟!"
"Ooh, girl, you disgusting." "矮油 你这够淫荡"
"You all right." "说得好"
I got nothing against strippers. 我没跟脱衣舞娘过不去
I got nothing against strippers. 可没那意思
Somebody's gotta do it. 总得有人干这个
Somebody has to take on the monumental responsibility 总得有人担起脱衣舞娘
that the strippers do. 这崇高的责任
Somebody's gotta do it, 总得有人做这个
somebody has to entertain the married men of America. 总得有人来取悦美国的已婚男士
Somebody has to do it. 总得有人来做啊
OK? Your wife, you know, 是不是? 喏 你老婆
your wife will take care of you 你老婆会悉心照顾你
but she ain't gonna entertain you. 但老婆不会来取悦你
You give your wife clear heels. 你给你老婆一双透明高跟
"What the fuck is this shit?" "这是TM什么东西?"
"Get this ho shit out my house." "给我把这下流玩意儿扔了"
"Now wash your hands so you can eat." "赶紧洗手去 要不别想吃饭"
I got nothing against the strippers. 我对脱衣舞女毫无意见
But the strip clubs are very addictive. 但脱衣舞俱乐部那真叫一个让人上瘾啊
Not to me but to other people. 不是说对我 是说对其他人
They are addictive. 很叫人上瘾的
Every guy in here 在座的所有哥们儿
got a friend that's addicted to strip clubs. 都有一个沉迷于脱衣舞俱乐部的弟兄
Addicted like heroin, OK? Addicted. 跟嗑海洛因一样上瘾 有没有? 瘾特大
You know those guys that cannot function 听说过没那些在一般夜店
in a normal club. high不起来的男的
You take 'em to a normal club, 你带他们去个正常的夜店
they ask one girl to dance 他们叫一个妹子给他们跳舞
"Excuse me, would you like to dance?" "不好意思 能给我跳个舞吗?"
"No, maybe a later bit later." "那个 还是待会吧"
"Yo, let's go to the titty bar, man." "走了走了 看脱衣舞去"
"Man, these bitches is stuck up, man." "我说 这点妹子不灵啊"
"I gave this bitch a dollar," "我给她塞了一块钱"
"she didn't do nothing." "她什么都不做哦"
No, no, no, no. We all got those friends 不 不 不 我们都认识点
that's addicted to strip clubs. 对脱衣舞俱乐部上了瘾的朋友
You know those guys that go to the strip club in the daytime? 你知道那些大白天上脱衣舞俱乐部的人不?
If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, 如果太阳还在天上挂着 你已经钻这俱乐部里面了
you got some problems. 那你已经有问题了
You know those guys that eat at the strip club? 那你见过在脱衣舞俱乐部吃饭的男的没?
Eat at the buffet. TM吃那个自助餐
How the fuck could you eat 你TM怎么能在脱衣舞俱乐部
at a nasty-ass strip club? 这种龌龊地方吃饭哦?
What? 咋想的?
Are you that hungry? 你有这么饿吗?
Motherfucker, go to Mickey D's or some shit. 我日 你要吃去吃个麦当劳什么的啊
Rwandan refugees won't eat that shit. 卢旺达难民都不会跟这儿吃
At a damn strip club. 跟脱衣舞俱乐部吃
Titties and Tater Tots don't mix. 咪咪跟土豆饼很搭吗 你吃什么吃
I got nothing against strippers. 但我对脱衣舞女没任何意见
What I got a problem with is the stripper myth. 但我对脱衣舞女的一个传说就很有异议
You know the stripper myth. 你们都知道这个传说的
There's a stripper myth that's being perpetuated throughout society. 这个家喻户晓的传说
The stripper myth is, 这个传说就是
"I'm stripping to pay my tuition." "我脱 是为了赚我的学费"
No, you're not. There's no strippers at college. 你瞎说你 大学里有脱衣舞女吗 (现在还真不好说)
There's no clear heels in biology. 生物学有教过透明高跟吗 (这肯定没有)
Shit, man. I didn't know they had a college 我日 我还真没听说过哪个大学
that only took one-dollar bills. 只收一美元钞票啊
And if they got so many strippers at college, 大学里要真有那么多跳脱衣舞的
how come I never got a smart lap dance? 咋就没人在我腿上来过段学术点的膝上舞呢?
I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, 我咋没遇着哪个妞坐我大腿上一边扭一边说
"If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio." "我要是你 就会多元化我的金融资产投资"
"You know, ever since the end of the Cold War," "知道不 我发现冷战结束以后"
"I find NATO obsolete." "北约就形同虚设了"
Now, I'm 39 years old, 39 years old. 我现在有39了 都39岁了
Yep. Some people are like, "Really?" Yeah, man. 是啊 有人会问 "真的吗?" 是真的
New Jack City's a long time ago. "纽约黑街"那是老久前的事儿了
(Chris Rock曾于1991年出演"纽约黑街")
Now, I'm 39, right? 我现在39了 对吧?
And I still love rap music, I love rap music. 可我还是喜欢饶舌 喜欢说唱音乐
You know, I love it! 都爱死了!
You know, I'm 39, I'm that age, 都到39这岁数了
I've been loving rap music forever. 我自始自终爱着说唱音乐
As I get older, I realize I'm gonna 年龄越大 我越看明白了
love rap music when I'm 80, 90. 哪怕80 90了 我还会爱着饶舌
Pretty much whatever music was playing 可以说 你第一次打炮时放的音乐
when you started getting laid, 甭管放的啥
you gonna love that music for the rest of your life. 你这辈子就别想放下了
So I'm always gonna have a soft spot for Whodini, 所以 我特好Whodini这口 (饶舌天才)
you know what I mean? 懂?
That's just me. 这就是我
Now I love rap music 我爱饶舌音乐
but I'm tired of defending it. 但我已经不高兴再为它辩护了
You gotta defend rap music cos people always go, 你必须为饶舌辩护 因为人们总会说
"That's not music, that's not art. That's garbage" "这哪是音乐 哪是艺术 就TM是垃圾"
"How can you listen to that garbage?" "你怎么能听这种垃圾?"
"How can you listen to that trash?" "你怎么听这种垃圾?"
In the old days, it was easy to defend rap music. 过去 为饶舌辩解很容易的
It was easy to defend it on an intellectual level. 你不用动脑子 就可以轻易为它辩护
You could break it down intellectually 你可以理性地跟人解释
why Grandmaster Flash was art, 为什么Grandmaster Flash的作品是艺术
Hiphop史上最伟大的革新者
why Run DMC was art, 为什么Run DMC的作品是艺术
美国著名黑人说唱乐队 东海岸嘻哈的代表
why Whodini was art, and music. 为什么Whodini那是艺术 是音乐
You could break it down intellectually, OK? 脑子都不用动 轻而易举为其辩护 是吧?
And I love all the rappers today 现今的饶舌歌手我都喜欢
but it's hard to defend this shit. 可为他们辩护忒难了
It's hard, man, it's hard to defend 真心难啊 各位 你叫我怎么辩护
"I got hoes in different area codes". "每个邮编里都有我炮友"
出自Ludaris的Area Codes
On an intellectual level. 这叫我怎么跟人解释
It's hard to defend 你说怎么辩护
"Move, bitch, get out the way". "起开 骚货 别挡路 (暗指男女做爱)"
出自Ludacris的Get Out the Way
Well, as you can see, there's a bitch in his way. 是这样的 有个贱货挡得他动弹不得
Now he needs to move. 但他得抽身走人啊
Thus the term, "Move, bitch, get out the way". 所以有了这句 "起开 骚货 别挡路"
You need to open yo eyes 你得睁开眼
so you can get the bitches out of yo way. 才能把这帮小骚货从身前挪开
My favorite song right now is impossible to defend. 我现在的最爱 根本没法说好话
It's impossible. 想都别想
We should all be ashamed of ourself 喜欢这歌
for liking this fucking song. 我们都该为自己害臊
Lil Jon. 比如Lil Jon
(美国说唱歌手 制作人 嘻哈音乐子类Crunk创始人之一)
You know that shit. 你懂的啊
# To the window! To the wall! # # 对着窗! 对着墙! #
# To the sweat drip from my balls! # # 淌着玉液和琼浆! #
# Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet! # # 射 射 射 射! #
And you know what's real wild? 你知道这事情野在哪儿吗?
You go to a club, 你进了家夜店
you see girls dance to that shit lovely. 看到女的跟着这歌跳得欢呐
# To the sweat drip from my balls! # # 淌着玉液和琼浆! #
# To the sweat! To the sweat! # # 淌着玉液! 淌着琼浆! #
# To the sweat drip from my balls! # # 淌着玉液和琼浆! #
# My balls! Skeet, skeet! # # 射 射! 我的蛋蛋喔! #
# To the sweat! To the sweat! # # 淌着玉液! 淌着琼浆! #
# My balls! My balls! # # 我的蛋蛋! 我的蛋蛋哦! #
You know, that's why I feel sorry for the guys 所以我特同情那些得
that gotta pick a wife out of this bunch. 从这堆淫才中挑个老婆的哥们儿
"Daddy, where d'you meet Mommy?" "爹地 你在哪儿认识妈咪的呀?"
"Oh, she was singing about balls at a club." "哦 当时她在夜店唱蛋蛋的歌"
# Skeet, skeet, skeet! # # 射 射 射! #
That's why people always say rap music is misogynistic 也难怪人们会说饶舌音乐歧视女性
and it's degrading to women. 在女性面前很不体面
But what I realize, man, 可我觉着吧
is women that like rap 女的要是喜欢饶舌
don't give a fuck. 屌都不屌
Women that like rap don't care what they saying. 喜欢饶舌的女人 不管歌词怎么唱
If the beat's all right she will dance all night. 只要节拍到位 她能给你蹦上 一 整 晚
Women don't give a fuck. 女的才不管呢
The nastier the better. 越恶心越带劲
I see girls on the floor 我见过女的合着
dancing to the nastiest shit ever made. 跟着龌龊到不行的歌在那蹦啊
Just on the floor, like 就在舞池里这样哦
# Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick # # 用老二抽她 用老二抽她 #
# I'll put a dick in the ear, a dick in the ear # # 我插她耳朵 我插她耳朵 #
# dick in the ear, dick in the ear # # 插耳朵 插耳朵 #
# Fuck her in the eye, fuck her in the eye # # 插她眼睛 插她眼睛 #
# Blind the bitch, blind the bitch # # 插瞎这婊子 插瞎这婊子 #
And you know what's wild? 知道最强悍的是什么不?
If you mention to a woman 要是你对哪个女人说
that the song is disgusting and misogynistic, 这首歌恶心淫荡 还不尊重妇女
they all give you the same answer 她们会异口同声地回答
"He ain't talkin' 'bout me." "又没说我"
# Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick # # 用老二抽她 用老二抽她 #
# I'll put a dick in the ear, a dick in the ear # # 我插她耳朵 插她耳朵 #
- He said your name! - No, he didn't. - 这说了你名字啊! - 其实不然
# Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick # # 用老二抽她 用老二抽她 #
Love rap music, tired of defending it, man. 挚爱说唱 但厌倦了为它辩解
It's weird with rap music 说唱音乐的话题有一个很神奇
because people either love it or hate it. 就是人们要么爱 要么恨 没有立场不清的人
Even the United States Government hates rap. 连美国政府都对说唱深恶痛绝
The Government hates rap. 政府痛说唱啊
You know why I say that? 知道我为什么这么说吗?
Cos they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers. 因为他们不抓任何杀说唱歌手的人
They don't got no clues, no suspects. 他们找不到线索 找不到嫌疑人
They don't have shit when it's a dead rapper. 只要死的是个唱饶舌的 他们屁都找不到
They don't fill out a police report. 他们警方报告都懒得写
They don't even have a chalk line for a dead rapper. 尸体的粉笔线都不画哦
The cops just take a piss around the body. 那警察就对着尸体 一边撒尿一边
# Smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick, # # 用老二抽她 用老二抽她 #
# smack her with a dick, smack her with a dick # # 用老二抽她 用老二抽她 #
If you wanna get away with murder, 如果你想杀了人又逍遥法外
just shoot somebody in the head 只要冲谁脑袋放一枪
and put a demo tape in they pocket. 然后往他口袋里塞盘试听带啊
"This is a rap killing, let's get outta here." "死的是个唱饶舌的 我们走吧"
The Government hates rap. 政府痛恨说唱啊
Look at all the rappers, all the dead rappers. 看看这点搞说唱的 所有挂了的说唱歌手
I'm gonna list these motherfuckers, man. 哦我今天要他们名字列出来了我
Biggie Smalls, man. Biggie Smalls, man. Biggie Smalls啊(黑人说唱歌手) Biggie Smalls
Biggie Smalls gunned down outside a party in Los Angeles. Biggie Smalls 是在洛杉矶的一个聚会外被人枪杀的
Now Biggie weighed about 400 pounds. Biggie体重差不多400磅 (362.8斤)
So they had to shoot him for a while. 所以他们得射他一小会儿啊
There was some reloading in that drive-by. 在车上还换了几次子弹啊
It's like the bullet had to hit another bullet that went in before it... 就像一颗子弹得打中前面打进去的那颗...
just to really do damage. 才能有点杀伤力啊
They don't got no clues, no suspects, 他们没线索 没嫌疑犯
a hamburger wrapper, nothing! 除了个肥仔唱饶舌的 什么都没!
Jam Master Jay, man. Jay, man, I miss Jay. Jam Master Jay啊 (说唱界巨头) 我特想他
I miss that man. 特怀念
Jam Master Jay. 对 Jam Master Jay
Gunned down in a recording studio in Queens, OK? 是在皇后区的一个录音棚里被枪杀的 好吗?
They had surveillance footage of people coming in and out, 他们有监控录像拍着所有进进出出的人
they ain't arrest nobody. 却连个屁都没抓
It's like the guy came in the studio, shot Jay, 好像那人进了录音棚 把Jay做掉
recorded an album, then left. 录了张唱片 然后就走了
They ain't get nobody. 他们屁都没逮着啊
No clues, no suspects, 没线索 没嫌疑人
not a Odor-Eater, nothing! 连块鞋垫都没!
Tupac Shakur, man. Tupac Shakur哦 (黑人说唱歌手)
Tupac Shakur, man. Tupac Shakur 真可惜
Yo, Tupac was gunned down on the Las Vegas Strip Tupac在迈克·泰森拳击赛后
after a Mike Tyson fight. 被枪杀在拉斯维加斯大道
Now how many witnesses 我说要几个目击者
do you need to see some shit 你丫才能有眉目
before you arrest somebody? 去抓一两个人?
Shit. 艹
More people saw Tupac get shot 看到Tupac被杀的人
than the last episode of Seinfeld. 比收看 "宋飞传" 大结局的人还多
(宋飞传 高收视率美剧)
And you know what's fucked up? Every year, Tupac comes back from the dead, 最扯淡的是 每年 Tupac都起死回生
records a new album with clues in it... 录上一张藏有他被杀线索的新专辑...
(艺人死后唱片公司会录制纪念专辑)
Every record got a clue if you listen real hard. 只要你仔细地听 每张专辑都有线索啊
"The brother in the red shot me dead." Right there! "穿红衣服的那个 射死了我" 就这句!
Track four! Pac is trying to tell us something. Listen again! 第四首! Pac在给我们线索啊 再听一遍!
"It was a nigger named Kevin." Right there! "是个叫Kevin的黑鬼" 就这里啊!
Pac is reaching out to us. Listen! Pac在向我们呐喊啊 仔细听!
The Government hates rap, man. 政府痛恨说唱啊
And only rappers get gunned down like this. 也只有说唱歌手被枪杀后是这结果
I'll tell you right now, 我可以立马告诉你
if Billy Joel, Elton John and David Bowie got shot, 如果Billy Joel Elton John和David Bowie被枪杀
均为美著名白人歌手
they'd have Bruce Springsteen's house surrounded. 他们直接把Bruce Springsteen家给围了啊
(美国摇滚巨星 前三位的竞争对手)
The Government hates rap. 政府憎恨说唱
Only the good rappers are dead, only the good ones. 死的都是最赞的说唱歌手 都是最赞的
Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Biggie死了 Tupac死了
Vanilla Ice still alive. Vanilla Ice却还活着 (白人说唱歌手)
The Government hates rap. 政府真是恨说唱
You mean to tell me they can find Saddam Hussein in a fucking hole 你说他们能在一个狗洞里把萨达姆揪出来
but you can't tell me who shot Tupac? 他们找不出谁杀了Tupac?
Shit. 扯淡
They found Saddam Hussein in fucking Iraq. 他们TM在伊拉克逮的萨达姆啊
Tupac got shot in Vegas! Tupac在拉斯维加斯被害了好吧!
In fucking Vegas! TM拉斯维加斯啊!
Not on no side street, 不是跪在什么小巷子里
the motherfucker got shot on the Strip! TM跪在拉斯维加斯大道上啊!
In front of Circus Circus! 就在Circus Circus酒店前啊!
(Circus Circus 拉斯维加斯著名赌场酒店)
Damn. 艹
It's all fucked up, the whole world's fucked up, man. 都TM疯了 整个世界都TM疯了
Michael Jackson lost his mind. 迈克尔·杰克逊脑子也坏了
What the hell is wrong with Michael? Another kid? 迈克尔是搞什么呢? 又一个小孩?
指MJ涉嫌儿童性骚扰
Another kid? 又来一个?
I thought it was Groundhog's Day when I heard that shit. 我刚听到这事 还以为是 "土拨鼠日" 啊
(一部时光回溯电影 喻指事情重复发生)
Another kid? Get the fuck out of here. 又一个? 你能不能行啊
That's how much we love Michael. 我们有多爱迈克尔哦
We love Michael so much, we let the first kid slide. 这第一个小孩冒出来的时候 我们直接略过了
Hey, man, the man made Billie Jean, leave him alone. 他可写了Billie Jean 放他一马
畅销单曲 其中他首次展示太空步
Another kid? I'm fucking done. 又娈童? 我TM受够了
I'm done with Michael! 真TM受够了!
I was a fan my whole life. 我曾是他的超级粉迷
I am fucking done, I am handing in my glove, OK. 真TM受够了啊 我手套给你们了 行吧
（MJ演唱会的招牌动作)
I saw Michael on 60 Minutes. 我在 "60分钟" 里看到了他
美国王牌电视新闻杂志
Ed Bradley tried his best Ed Bradley使出浑身解数 (节目主持人)
to make Michael look like a mammal, 想让迈克尔看起来算个哺乳动物
or somebody that drank water and breathed air, right? 至少一个喝水吸空气正常人 对吧?
He gave Michael the easiest questions in the world, 他问了迈克尔世界上最简单的问题
the easiest GED questions in the world, 世界上最简单的"普通教育程度测试" 题
and Michael could not pass the test. 而迈克尔却连这都通不过
It's like, "Uh, Michael," 他就这样 "额 迈克尔"
"do you think it's proper for a 45-year-old man" "你认为一个45岁的男人"
"to sleep in a bed with 13-year-old boys?" "和13岁的少男睡在一张床上 合适吗?"
"Yes!" "合适!"
"OK, OK, uh, let me rephrase that." "好 好 我再组织一下语言"
"Uh, Michael," "额 迈克尔"
"would you let your children sleep in the bed of a 45-year-old man" "你会让你的孩子 睡在一个45岁 曾被控儿童性骚扰的"
"that's been accused of child molestation?" "男的的床上吗?"
"Yes!" "会啊!"
Ed Bradley looked at Michael Jackson Ed Bradley看着迈克尔·杰克逊的眼神
like he wanted to say, 就好像想说
"Nigger, is you crazy?" "我艹 你这搞毛啊?"
Like he wanted to take the 60 Minutes clock 就好像他迫不及待
and push the shit forward, 想抄起节目里的钟往前拨 (限定60分钟)
say, "Get the fuck off my show." 然后吼一声 "给我滚"
"I thought you said it was 60 minutes." "我还以为有60分钟呢"
"It's ten minutes, get outta here." "是十分钟 走人了"
"Ya nutty nigger, what the fuck is wrong wit' you?" "你这二逼老黑TM搞什么啊?"
I'm done with Michael, man. 我受够了Michael了
You see Michael go to court 20 minutes late. 你看他连出庭都迟到20分钟
What kind of black man gonna come to court 20 minutes late? 什么样的黑人 敢晚出庭20分钟?
This ain't Barbershop 2. 又不是 "理发店2" (上映比原定要晚)
This is court, motherfucker. Shit. 这是法庭啊 我日
He don't even wear a real suit to court, 他出庭也不穿个正装
coming in there looking like Cap'n Crunch. 穿得跟Cap'n Crunch麦片包装上的船长一样
Shit, who's your lawyer? Franken Berry? 我日 你律师谁啊? Franken Berry吗? (另一种麦片卡通形象)
Better take your black ass to Banana Republic 真该把你领到Banana Republic (服装品牌)
and get you a decent suit. 去买套像样点的衣服
What the fuck is wrong with that boy? I'm done with Michael. 那小子是他娘的是有病吧? 受不了啊
Another kid? 又来一个?
Ano... That's like another dead white girl 这就像是在OJ家里
showing up at OJ's house. 又有了白人女性尸体一样
臭名卓著的杀人犯 对其的审判被称为 "世纪审判"
And OJ going, "I know what you're thinking..." OJ会说 "我知道你在想什么..."
(审判中 OJ的经典说辞)
Michael Jackson going to jail. It's gonna be a sad sight when Michael Jackson goes to jail. 迈克尔·杰克逊要坐牢了 这叫人那个心碎啊
Oh, we gonna shed a tear when Michael Jackson go to jail. 他去坐牢我们说不定会抹下眼泪哦
It ain't even gonna be sad the day he go in. 进去当天我们可能还不觉得什么
It's gonna be sad like a month later 可能要一个月以后
when that perm grows out of his hair. 等他的卷毛长出来
The shit's all nappy and grey. 这头发又灰 又毛 (讽刺MJ露出黑人体貌特征了)
When his make-up's all fucked up 等他化的妆都花了
cos he don't get the Crayola people 因为没人用"绘儿乐" 蜡笔
to fix his face no more. 给他补妆了
(讽刺那些整容机构不专业)
That's a fucking sad-ass sight. 这场景真叫人心碎啊
Remember we used to have arguments 记得我们曾争过
about who was better, Michael Jackson or Prince? M.J. 和Prince谁更出色(音乐天才)
Prince won. Prince赢了啊
Yeah, man, Michael went crazy, 是啊 Michael疯了
then Janet lost her damn mind, 接着 Janet脑子进水了(迈克尔·杰克逊的妹妹)
whipping out her titty on a Sunday afternoon. 礼拜天下午秀自己咪咪
On a Sunday afternoon! 喂这是礼拜天下午啊!
What the fuck is wrong with this girl? This ain't Déjà Vu. 这女的搞什么? 这不是幻觉啊
This ain't Magic City, motherfucker. 你以为你在魔术城啊 (脱衣舞夜总会)
It's the Super Bowl! 可是在超级碗啊!
A titty on a Sunday afternoon. 星期天下午甩自己咪咪
People coming home from church, turn on the TV. 大家做礼拜回来 一开电视
"Oh, Lord!" "额滴神啊!"
A titty on a Sunday afternoon. 礼拜天下午 一对咪咪
And a 40-year-old titty at that. 还尼玛是对40岁的咪咪
You can't just whip out a 40-year-old titty. 40岁的咪咪是说拿出来秀就能拿出来秀的吗
That's yo man's titty. 那是你男人私有的咪咪啊
That is yo man's titty. 你男人独享的
40-year-old titty... yo man's titty. 40岁咪咪... 老公独享
20-year-old titty... community titty. 20岁咪咪... 社区共享
That's for all to see. 那才是给所有人看的
The titty couldn't even believe it was outside. 你咪咪自个儿都不相信自己出来了啊
It was like, "Oh, shit, what the fuck's going on?" 它就这样 "我去 这什么情况?"
"Close the door! Close the door!" "快关门! 快关门啊!"
Michael's crazy, Janet lost her mind, 迈克尔疯了 她妹脑子也进水了
now I gotta see Jermaine every week for the blow-by-blow. 现在我每周都密切关注Jermaine
Michael Jakson 的哥哥
I thought I was done with Jermaine. 我觉得我也受不了他了
I got the "Do What You Did When You Did What To Me" album. 你听他那张"做你曾经对我做过的事" 专辑
I thought I was done with Jermaine. Jermaine looked crazier than Michael. 我受够他了 Jermaine貌似比他弟还抽
What the fuck is up with Jermaine? Jermaine又什么情况?
Is it me or is Jermaine 你们有没有觉得Jermaine和我
the greasiest nigger you ever seen in your life? 是你们见过最油头粉面的黑人了?
What the fuck? My God, man! 搞什么鬼? 我去!
Does he spray Armor All on his face or some shit? 他是往脸上喷了鞋油还怎么着?
Just greasy motherfucker, my God. 这也太油了啊 我日
Just glistening like Patrick Ewing 像NBA里打到第四节的
in the fourth quarter. 帕特里克·尤因啊 (绰号大猩猩)
Just... just slimy. 这... 这黏得啊
Just greasy, shiny motherfucker, my God. 油得都发亮了啊 我去
When Jermaine's on the TV, Jermaine上电视的时候
I gotta wipe the grease off the screen. 我都能从屏幕上刮下油来
I can't see shit 亮瞎我了啊
Jermaine must have been on. 肯定是Jermaine出镜了
The police can't even capture his ass 警察都抓不住他啊
cos he just slips out. 因为他直接从警察手里滑出去了啊
The police are like, "Somebody throw some sand on that nigger! Please!" 警察们就喊 "快往那黑鬼身上撒点沙子! 快!"
Jacksons lost they mind, R Kelly lost his mind and shit. 杰克逊一家疯了 劳·凯利也疯了
(美国节奏布鲁斯歌手 作曲人 唱片制作人)
What the fuck is wrong with R Kelly? He got a lot of balls, OK? 劳·凯利怎么回事? 他这胆子够肥啊 是不是?
Talk about, "It ain't me!" 还说什么 "不是我!"
Got a damn sex tape out. "It ain't me." 都流出性爱录像带了 还说"不是我"
Motherfucker, we know what you look like. 我艹 你长啥样我们知道啊
That's you, OK? 就是你 好不好?
There's a damn Soul Train award right next to the bed! 那灵魂列车音乐奖奖杯就在你床边啊!
被誉为"黑人格莱美音乐奖"
Best R & B '98, that's you! 98年最佳RnB歌手 就是你啊!
I can't even believe R Kelly would come outside after this shit. 没想到出了这破事之后 劳·凯利还敢重返娱乐圈
At one point on the tape, 录像带上的某一段
R Kelly's eating this girl's ass out like it's Puppy Chow. 劳·凯利啃那妞的屁股 就像在啃巧克力麦片一样啊
He's in her ass like he's got diabetes 他舔她屁股那投入得 就像他得了糖尿病
and her ass got insulin in it. 而她菊花会分泌胰岛素一样
Lookin' like the movie 28 Days Later. 搞得像电影 "惊变28天" 一样 (电影中有这样的镜头)
R fucking Kelly, man. 劳你大爷的凯利啊
The whole world's going crazy, man. 整个世界都乱套了
Siegfried and Roy, the tiger bit the man in the head, 记得Siegfried和Roy吧 老虎把人头给咬了
两位德国著名魔术师 擅长耍虎师
and everybody's mad at the tiger. 所有人都恨那个老虎
Talk about the tiger went crazy. 说什么老虎变疯了
That tiger ain't go crazy, that tiger went tiger! 屁 那老虎没变疯了吗 那老虎变老虎了啊!
You know when the tiger went crazy? 你知道老虎什么时候才叫疯了?
When the tiger was riding round on a little bike 等它带着党卫军钢盔
with a Hitler helmet on. 骑着小自行车四处逛的时候
"Oh, shit, I'm a crazy tiger." "我擦 我真是只疯老虎啊"
"Oh, Lord, I'm crazy. What is I gon' do?" "天哪 我疯了 咋办啊?"
Whole damn country's all fucked up. 我们整个国家都TM疯了
We so desperate for entertainment 我们渴望娱乐啊
everybody's falling for this magician, David Blaine. 谁都迷David Blaine这魔术师
What the fuck is this shit? 他这TM算搞什么?
Are we so desperate that we fall for a trickless magician? 我们就这么绝 要买一个黔驴技穷魔术师的帐?
Where the fuck's the trick? 这他妈都玩的什么把戏?
Cut a lady in half! Pull a rabbit out a hat! 把个女人一砍二! 从帽子里拽只兔子!
Do something. What's his last trick? 玩点有新意的吧 他的压轴戏是什么?
"I'm in a box..." "我待在箱子里..."
"and I ain't gonna eat." "然后我不吃饭"
"I'm in a box and I ain't gonna eat." "我待在箱子里 然后我不吃饭"
That ain't no trick, that's called living in the projects. 这算哪门子魔术 这叫排队等廉租房啊
Shit, man. 去你妹的
Kobe Bryant lost his mind. 科比·布莱恩也疯了
美NBA球员 洛杉矶湖人队 得分后卫
What the fuck is Kobe thinking? 科比他TM想什么呢?
What is on Kobe's mind going to Colorado, 他脑子是不是被驴踢了 转去科罗拉多
around all these white people, 被一圈白人围着啊
美著名辛普森案 辩护律师
and not bringing Johnnie Cochran? 还不带着Johnnie Cochran?
You gotta bring Johnnie to that shit. 你得带上Johnnie啊
The girl's still alive, 那女的还活着啊
Johnnie'll knock this out in two weeks. Johnnie两周就能把这事摆平了
"Is she breathing?" "她还有呼吸吗?"
"Don't worry about it." "淡定"
Kobe wouldn't miss a practice 有了Johnnie 科比一场练习
if he had Johnnie. What the fuck, man? 都不会缺了 搞毛?
It don't look right, man. 有人说这么搞不行啊
Some people like, "If you hire Johnnie Cochran" 有些人就说 "你雇Johnnie Cochran"
"you look guilty." "就说明你心虚"
Yeah, but you go home. 是 但你回家睡你的豪华席梦思啊
What, you wanna look innocent in jail? 哦 你想无辜地睡班房的钢丝床?
I'd rather look guilty at the mall. 那我宁可在购物中心被人指指点点
Kobe might go to jail, you never know. 科比有可能坐牢 谁说得准呢
A lot of people, "Oh, Kobe ain't gonna go to jail" 很多人说 "科比不会蹲大牢"
"cos Kobe's... cute and cuddly." "因为他... 精明又可爱"
"He is not gonna go to jail." "他才不会蹲大牢"
"No, he's cute and cuddly, he's positive." "对 他精明可爱 又积极向上的"
Yeah, Kobe looks cute and cuddly on TV 是 科比在电视上看起来是精明又可爱
cos when you see him 那是因为你看见他的时候
he's standing next to Shaq. 他都站在奥尼尔旁边啊
But in real life Kobe's like 6'9", 6'10". 可在现实生活中的科比 大概有个2米高
Shit, when he get to court, 艹 他一走上法庭
he gonna scare the shit out of them white people. 肯定把那帮白人吓得屁滚尿流啊
They gonna look at him 他们会当他是只
like he's a big old black praying mantis. 黑黝黝的老螳螂
He gonna sit down at the witness stand, his knees gonna be up here. 他往证人席这一坐 膝盖有这么高
Put his hand on the Bible, it covers up the whole Bible. 他把手往圣经上一放 尼玛把整本圣经都盖住了啊
And you see the girl, she came to court, 然后你就能看到那女的 她来法庭了
she wasn't fucking around. 现在规矩了
That's right. She looked nice. 没错 她看起来乖乖女哦
She got a nice pantsuit on, got her hair in pigtails. 她穿着套裤 扎着小辫
Yeah, she ain't gonna have on no clear heels now, no. 没错 她这会儿不穿透明高跟了
(科比案女原告性生活混乱)
That's right. She got on some comfortable flats. 对 她现在穿着舒适的平底鞋
And some thick-ass stockings. 还有厚得要死的长筒袜
The thickest fucking stockings you ever seen in your life. 真是开眼了 竟然有这么厚的长筒袜
You gonna think she broke her leg, 这厚得人家以为她腿断了打了石膏啊
that's how thick them fucking stockings is. 这袜子就有这么厚
She gonna come in the court like this. 她得这样走着进法庭
"Your Honor, my stockings are fucking thick." "法官大人 我的长筒袜真TM厚"
Now a lot of people say, 很多人会说
"Well, this is what Kobe gets for cheating." "这就是科比劈腿的报应"
"That's what he get for cheating." "这是他出轨的下场"
"He cheated and that's what he gets." "他出轨了 就这下场 他该"
I know some of you women been cheated on before. 我知道你们中有些女人也被男人劈过腿
I know some of you... 我知道你们中...
OK, fuck it, I'm sure most of you women been cheated on before. 好吧 我敢肯定你们大多数都被男人劈过腿
Some of y'all are with the guy that cheated on you right now. 有些今晚跟你一起来的男的就在劈腿
And the guy's are like, "Would you shut the fuck up?" 他们现在心里在想 "你TM说够了没?"
"Do some old shit, 'toss my salad', one of them. Come on!" "说点老花头嘛 爆个菊花什么的 随便来一个!"
No, no, no. Men are just low, ladies. 哎呀哎呀 男人就是贱啊 妇女朋友们
Some women are like, "If I lost weight, he wouldn't cheat." 有些人会说 "哦我要是瘦点 他就不会出轨了"
"If... If... If..." "如果... 如果..."
"If I was more beautiful, he wouldn't cheat." "如果我再漂亮点 他就不会出轨了"
Yes, he would. 他会的
He would, he would. There ain't nothing you can do, ladies. 他就是狗改不了吃屎 你无能为力的亲
The only thing you can do to stop your man cheating... 想阻止你男人出轨 你唯一能做的就是...
The women are like this... 所以女人的耳朵都竖起来了...
Only thing you can do... 你唯一能做的...
is be there. 就是待在那儿
Where? There. 哪儿? 那儿
Wherever he's thinking about fucking her. That's it. 他想在盘算上别人的地方 你就跑过去
Just be right there. And even then he still might lose yo ass. 一定要在边上 但这样他还会乘机溜号
"Hey, honey, look, a sale! Let me go fuck this bitch right now." "哈尼 快看 大降价! 我赶紧上了那货"
Oh, man! No, no, no, no, no. 我说! 不 不行 不行
The beauty don't matter. Kobe cheated on his wife and Kobe's wife is fine. 美貌不管用 科比出轨 可他老婆挺好啊
Kobe's wife is gorgeous. My God! 科比的老婆相当漂亮啊 我去!
That's a fuckin'searita out this motherfucker. 这货脑子肯定臭掉了
A hot tamale out this motherfucker. 简直TM秀逗了
Kobe's wife is fine shit. 科比老婆真心漂亮啊
I would trade my wife and two aunts for Kobe's, man. 拿我老婆加两个小姨子换他老婆我都肯
I'll throw in a cousin and my momma if I have to. 有必要的话 我连表妹跟老妈都搭进去啊
Come on, Momma, we got to close this deal. 行了老妈 这买卖赶紧敲定了
But yo, don't let all this celebrity news fool you right now. 但是你 别让这些名人八卦给忽悠了
All this stuff going on in the news 新闻里的这些玩意儿
is just a trick to get yo mind 都是为了分散你的
off the war. That's all it is. 注意力 仅此而已
It's a trick to get yo mind off the war. 让你分心的小把戏
OK? 明白吗?
I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room. 我说这都是小布什干的
Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room, 是小布什派那女的去科比屋里
Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jackson's house, 布什派那个小男孩去Michael家里
Bush killed Laci Peterson. 布什杀了Laci Peterson (美国妇女 为其夫所杀)
Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. 是布什在那段录像带里干的希尔顿家千金
03年帕丽斯与前男友的性爱影片风靡网络
All to get yo mind off the war. 都是为了分散你的注意力
Bush lied to me, they all lied to me. 布什忽悠我啊 谁都这么忽悠我
"We gotta go to Iraq" "我们得去伊拉克"
"cos they the most dangerous country on earth." "因为他们是世界上最危险的国家"
"They the most dangerous regime in the world." "他们是世界上最危险的政权"
If they so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks 他们要真那么危险 你们怎么可能两周之内
to take over the whole fucking country? 就把人家整个国家给推了?
Shit. 艹
Man, you couldn't take over Baltimore in two weeks. 两周你TM连巴尔的摩都推不了啊
美马里兰州第一大城市 占地238.4平方公里 常住人口超过62万
(巴尔的摩港曾是美国第二大移民登陆的港口)
Get the fuck outta here. 少JB扯淡了
Looking for weapons of mass destruction. 哦找什么大规模杀伤性武器
Can't even find a Wiffle ball bat. TM连个塑料魔球棒都找不到
Ain't even a fucking fly-swatter yet. Give me something, shit! 连个苍蝇拍都没有 至少找点啥出来嘛!
Attack, motherfucker. Attack! 进攻 你妹的 进攻啊!
Let me get a fucking paper cut over that motherfucker. Nothing! 缴个裁纸刀也好啊 什么都没有!
Not a damn thing. 屁都没
"Weapons of mass destruction." "大规模杀伤性武器啊"
They got whatshisname, they got Saddam Hussein, that's cool. 他们抓到谁来着 对抓到了老萨 不错
I was a little sad when they got Saddam. 他们抓到萨达姆的时候 我还有点小伤心
That's kinda like the Coyote catching the Roadrunner. 就好像郊狼终于逮到走鹃一样 (中美洲鸟名)
I guess Acme finally made some shit that worked. 原来Acme动画公司还真拍个点靠谱的片子啊
(上片即为Acme动画公司之作品)
I didn't even know we was after Saddam, 我都不知道他们是去抓老萨的
I thought we was after Bin Laden. 还以为我们在抓本·拉登呢
What the fuck happened? 咋搞的?
I thought we was after Bin Laden. 还以为我们要抓拉登呢
Shit. When did Bin Laden give Hussein the baton of hate? 艹 拉登啥时候把仇恨接力棒传给老萨的?
When did he pass it on? "They hate me, they hate me..." 什么时候? "他们恨我 他们恨我..."
- "they hate you! Run! " - "Oh, shit." - "他们恨你! 快跑! " - "我擦"
Shit, man, when I heard we was after Hussein, 我日 听说他们去抓侯赛因的时候
I was like, "Really?" 我还说 "真的假的?"
That's so '80s. 真太怀旧了
The whole war seemed like a bad VH1 special. 整场战争就像VH1的蹩脚特别节目
美国专门播放音乐和脱口秀的电视台
Hussein's back and Bush is back 侯赛因复出了 布什复出了
and Cheney's back 切尼也复出了(美前副总统)
and Paula Abdul's back. 连Paula Abdul都回来了 (美国歌手 X音素评委)
Shit, before you know it, it'll be Hammertime again. 妹的 你还没回过神 可能又要放Hammertime了
20世纪末美国流行的真人秀
Stop. 停
Hammertime. Hammertime了
No, when the war started, it was great. 仗刚刚开打的时候没什么问题 好得很
Brought out a lot of patriotism. Patriotism's beautiful. Beautiful. 激起很多爱国热情 爱国主义是好东西 真挺好的
But slowly but surely, the patriotism turned into hate-riotism. 但是慢慢地 爱国主义肯定会变成仇恨主义
When the war started, it was great. People had their flags up. 刚开打的时候都挺正常的 大家都开始挂国旗
People screaming out "USA! " for no reason. 大家不管什么事情都要喊"USA! "
You go to a baseball game, a football game, a basketball game, people are, "USA..." 你去看棒球 足球 或者篮球 谁都在"USA..."
I'm like, "Hey, calm down." 我就会说 "嘿 冷静"
"That's got a little German on it, don't you think? " "咱这是不是有点法西斯的味道了? "
You know, people start freaking out. 然后大家就开始乱来了
People got it... 大家都会这样...
At first the war was cool. People got into this whole hate the French thing. 仗刚开始打的时候挺好 然后大家都开始怨法国
I don't understand that shit. "Fuck France, man." 我还真搞不懂这逻辑 "去他妈的法国"
"They don't wanna help us out. Fuck France." "他们都不帮我们 去他妹的"
"Don't eat no French fries. Fuck the French, man. "别吃薯条了 去他大爷的法国货"
"Motherfuck France, fuck 'em, man." Cos they wouldn't help us out in the war. "MB的法国佬 去你妈的" 就因为他们不帮我们打伊拉克
The United States is the biggest, most powerful country in the world. 好吧 美国是世界上军力最强大的国家
Why the fuck would anybody help us in the war? 我们跟伊拉克开干为什么得别人来帮?
Would you help Mike Tyson beat up Urkel? 迈克泰森去打Urkel你会去帮忙么?
Steve Urkel 美情景喜剧演员 主要形象为带着啤酒瓶底眼镜的呆子
Don't make no sense! 这不扯的嘛!
But people started freaking out. 但是人们开始乱来了
The war was weird. On TV you'd see these weird white guys. 战争很奇怪 电视上会冒出来一些奇怪的白人
Nobody here, you guys are OK. 不是说你们 你们没事
See these weird white guys getting overly patriotic 看到那些变得过度爱国的白人
and they have their fucking flag hats on and their flag drawers and their flag pick-ups. 戴插着国旗的帽子啊 开铺着国旗的皮卡啊
"I'm American, man, I'm American." "我是美国人啊 我是美国人"
"Fuck all these fucking foreigners. I'm American..." "去TMD外国人 我是美国人..."
You're like, "Hey, calm the fuck down." 我心里想 "哎 你TM能淡定点不"
There was a lot of accepted racism when the war started. 战争一开始 一些种族主义的存在就被默许了
"I'm American... Fuck all these foreigners." And that was cool. "我是美国人... 去TMD外国人" 这没关系
Then it was, "I'm American... Fuck the French." That was cool. 然后就 "我是美国人... 去TMD法国人" 这也没问题
"I'm American... Fuck all these Arabs." "我是美国人... 去TMD阿拉伯人"
And that was cool. Then they went to, 这还是没问题 但他们然后就
"I'm American... Fuck all these illegal aliens." Then I started listening. "我是美国人... 去TMD非法移民" 这时候我耳朵就竖起来了
Cos I know niggers and Jews is next. 因为我知道接下来骂的就是黑人和犹太人了
It's like, any day now! 随便哪天听到这个都是这样
That train's never late! 别指望这班火车能拖班!
And people started screaming they was American. 后来人们都开始叫嚣他们是美国人
A lot of white people like to scream they're American 许多白人喜欢叫嚣他们是美国人
as if they got something to do with the country being the way it is. 就好像他们为这个国家做过什么贡献一样
Like they was on the Mayflower or some shit. 好像他们是乘着Mayflower号来开垦美国的人
Mayflower 1620年英国清教徒去北美殖民地所乘之船名
When you break it down, there ain't even that many Americans in this room, 你要真细想 这间房间里都没这么多
contributing Americans. 为美国做贡献的美国人
Check this out. If you a veteran, if you fought in any war for the United States, 这么说吧 如果你是退伍老兵 你参加了美利坚合众国任何一场战争
You are American. God bless all the veterans. 那你是美国人 上帝保佑所有的老兵
Big up to the veterans. I can't say nothing wrong about the veterans. 为他们竖一个大拇指 无可挑剔
OK? You're American. 是不是? 你们算美国人
Now if you swam here from some shitty country 但 如果你是从某些个狗屁的国家游泳过来的
that didn't allow you Bubblicious, 那些Bubblicious也不合法的国家
(Bubblicious 一种美国口香糖)
You too are American 你 也是美国人
Cos you overcame obstacles and made sacrifices to actually get here. 因为你为来到这里克服过困难 做出了牺牲
You are a true American, OK? 你算个真正的美国人 好吗?
You really are. Don't let nobody tell you no different. 真的 没人可以说你和别的美国人有什么不同
Everybody else, you're just lucky. 剩下的每一位 你们只不过是人品好
You're just lucky. All you crazy white people, "I'm American!" 你们都只不过人品好 所有那些喜欢叫 "我是美国人!" 的白人
All you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it. 你们所做的 只是从你妈B里跑出来 掉在美国领土上了 仅此而已
That's it. 仅此而已
You think you're better than somebody from France 哦你认为你比那些法国佬要牛逼
cos you came out of a pussy in Detroit? 就因为你从一个B里出来 掉在了底特律?
The whole country's got a fucked up mentality, man. 整个国家的脑子都TM坏掉了
We all got a gang mentality. 没事就要拉帮结派
Republicans are fucking idiots, the Democrats are fucking idiots, 共和党的那些二货 民主党的那些二货
conservatives are idiots and liberals are idiots. 保守派的那些二货 还有自由派的那些二货
Anyone that makes up they mind before they hear the issue is a fucking fool... 任何在没有听到一个问题之前就确定立场的人 就TM是个BS...
Everybody... 不管是谁...
No, no. Everybody's so busy wanting to be down with a gang 谁都心急慌忙地要进个团伙
"I'm a conservative, I'm a liberal." It's bullshit. "我保守主义 我自由主义" 都TM放屁
Be a fucking person. Listen! 做一个正常人行不行 先听!
Let it swirl around yo head. 把听到的东西先在脑子转一下
Then form yo opinion. 然后再说你怎么看的
No normal, decent person is one thing, OK? 没有一个正常人什么事情都一边倒的 懂?
I got some shit I'm conservative about, I got some shit I'm liberal about. 有些事情我保守一点 有些事情我开明一点
Crime, I'm conservative. 杀人放火 我保守一点
Prostitution, I'm liberal. 卖淫嫖娼 我开明一点
And they keep trying to scare us. Everybody's trying to scare us. 然后他们一直想恐吓我们 谁都想要吓我们
Telling us to be on the lookout for al-Qaeda. Like, "Where..." 告诉我们要防着基地组织 "在什么地方什么地方..."
I ain't scared of al-Qaeda. I'm from Brooklyn, I don't give a fuck about al-Qaeda. 我才不怕基地组织 我是布鲁克林来的 基地组织管我屁事
Shit. Motherfucking al-Qaeda. 艹 什么狗屁基地组织
Shit, did al-Qaeda blow up the building in Oklahoma? 艹 是基地组织炸的俄克拉何马联邦大楼吗?
No. 没
该案系美国白人恐怖分子所为
Did al-Qaeda put anthrax in your mail? 是基地组织给你寄的疽菌邮件吗?
No. 没
Did al-Qaeda drag James Byrd down the street 是基地组织把James Byrd(美国黑人)挂在皮卡后面拖上三英里
till his eyeballs popped out of his fucking head? No. 直到他眼珠子爆出他的脑袋吗? 没
I ain't scared of al-Qaeda, I'm scared of Al-Cracker. 我不怕基地组织 我怕的是Al-Cracker(指美国白人恐怖分子)
前文所述俄克拉何马联邦大楼爆炸案 系美退伍军人Timothy McVeigh所为
该案造成168人死亡 超过800人受伤 是9·11前美国本土遭受的最严重的恐怖袭击
Cracker Al. Gotta look out for Cracker Al. 白人恐怖分子啊 我们必须得提防住
He's a dangerous motherfucker! 这种人才叫危险!
But American people, whenever you leave... 但是各位 只要你...
I love my country, but whenever you leave, you find out people really hate America. 我爱我的祖国 但只要你踏出国门 你就会发现别人很恨美国
It's good sometimes. 但有时候这是件好事
Cos we got so much shit, OK? 因为这说明我们拥有的实在太多了 懂?
America's the only country in the world where people go hunting on a full stomach. 美国是世界上唯一一个物资丰富还去侵略别人的国家
It's beautiful. 这给力得啊
That's how good we got it. America's a great country. 我们就是这个好法 我们这国家真棒极了
But here's the thing, people hate America cos we can't make up our mind what we wanna be. 但事情是这样的 我们下不了决心到底做一个怎么样的国家 所以遭人恨
America does good things, America does bad things, America does schizophrenic things. 美国做过好事 美国做过坏事 美国也做过很脑残的事
One cool thing America does, that I love, is we feed other countries. 有一件美国做的事很了不起 而且我很欣赏 就是美国救济其他国家
It's beautiful that we feed other countries. 我们救济别的国家 很好
Yes, it is! 是的 很好
But... But we only feed them when they're starving. 但... 但我们只在人家快饿嗝屁的时候才去救
Why can't we feed them when they're hungry? 为什么我们不在他们刚开始饿的时候就去救呢?
They didn't just wake up with flies around their lips and bellies out to here. 人家没一觉醒来 人就臭了苍蝇乱叮 肚子腹水鼓成这样
It took a while for shit to get that bad. 变成这样不是一天两天的事情啊
And our government's like, "Nah, nah, wait for the flies." 但美国政府就 "不急不急 等苍蝇来了再说"
"Two more weeks. Wait for the flies. Come on, more flies!" "再等两周 等苍蝇来叮了 快啊 再来点苍蝇"
And we send them food. Do we send them the good shit? No. 我们给他们送粮食 但我们给别人送什么好东西了吗? 没
What do we send them? Grain. Anybody here have grain today? 我们送他们什么了? 谷子 有谁今天还吃谷子吗?
Anybody going to 'McGrainies' after the show? 有谁看完这场要去吃"麦谷子"的吗? (对比麦当劳)
Why can't we send them the good shit? 为什么我们不能给别人送点好东西?
Why can't we send some Cheez Doodles, some Funyuns, some Twinkies? 为什么我们不送点芝士条 送点洋葱圈 送点小奶油蛋糕
Why can't we just pour some gravy on the people? 为什么我们不直接给他们浇些肉汁呢?
Just get a big old vat of gravy and pour it out the helicopter. "There you go." 就弄一大桶肉汁 然后从直升机上浇下去 "来吧亲"
"Drink up. Have some gravy." "快来喝 喝点肉汁"
People going, "Oh, I love America!" 那人家就会说 "哦 我爱美国"
"It's raining gravy!" "都给我们下肉汁雨啦!"
Shit, give them a Whopper, it's only 99 cents. 妈的 给人家弄点小皇堡嘛(汉堡王的) 不就99仙嘛
Shit, we call ourselves humanitarians, 艹 我们自己号称人道主义者
meanwhile we're dropping 50-pound sacks on 40-pound people. 然后把50磅的麻袋往40磅的人身上丢
But I love America, man. We got a lot of freedom in America. 但是我爱美国 我们在美国有很多自由
For instance, abortion's legal. It's beautiful that abortion's legal, man. 比如 堕胎是合法的 给力伐 堕胎合法
I love going to abortion rallies to pick up women. 我就喜欢去堕胎联谊会去找妹子
Cos you know they'll fuck you. 因为你知道她们好上啊
You ain't gonna find a bunch of virgins at the abortion rally. 想在那里找几个处女那你真想多了
You might even see some clear heels! 倒可能给你逮着几个穿透明高跟的!
"What you doing here, girl?" "Fucked up again." "小妞你来这儿干嘛呢?" "又搞砸了呗"
The abortion issue, it's a woman's issue. 堕胎这个话题 属于女性内部话题
A woman gets pregnant, she don't wanna hear shit from the man. 如果一个女人怀了孕 她不想听她男人说一个字
"Fuck you, I don't need you, motherfuck you." "去你MD 没你的事 你给我滚"
Unless she decides to have the baby. Then she's like, "Where's my cheque?" 但一旦她决定生下那孩子 她就会 "我的支票吶?"
When a woman gets pregnant, 当一个女人怀孕了
it's a choice between the woman and her girlfriends. 是生还是堕 就是由这女人和她的姐妹决定的
A woman gets pregnant, her and her girlfriends get together, 这女人一怀孕 她就和她姐妹去碰头
and they have a little abortion tribunal, 然后弄一个堕胎裁决
and they vote on the baby like it's Survivor. 像"幸存者"节目里一样
Survivor 外国真人秀 将一组人置于野外 一周后由观众投票淘汰表现最差选手
Each girlfriend puts in her two cents. One goes, "Child, you should have that baby." 然后每个女人投个2分钱 一个说 "姑娘 你要把这孩子生下来"
"That man got some good hair, it's wavy, it's wavy." "那男人的头发不错啊 多卷啊 多卷啊"
The other girlfriend goes, "Why are we talking about this?" 另一个女人会说 "我们为什么要讨论这些?"
"Ain't we going to Cancun next week? Get rid of that baby!" "我们下礼拜还去不去坎昆了? 快弄掉这个孩子!"
And that's how life is decided in America. 在美国 生命就是这样被主宰的
Now, fellas, if you get a woman pregnant, you're only allowed to say two things. 好各位 如果你把一个女人肚子搞大了 你只能说两样东西
And guess what, fellas? You can't even suggest abortion. 你猜怎么着? 你都不能提到打胎
If you say, "A", you fucked up. 你说到 "哆" 你已经走掉了
You can't even suggest abortion. 你根本不能提打胎的事
Guess what, guys? You don't wanna suggest abortion. 你们想得到吗? 你们都不该提打胎的事情
If you suggest abortion and then she has the baby, 因为如果你暗示去打胎 但她把小孩生下来了
when that kid's about five, six years old, 等那个小孩到了五六岁的时候
he gonna be cursing yo ass out. 他能骂得你屁滚尿流啊
You go, "What's up, little man? How you doing?" 你说 "小鬼 最近怎么样啊? 干什么呢?"
"I'm alive, that's how the fuck I'm doing!" "我活下来了 这TM就是我在做的事!"
"You wanted me dead, huh, bitch?" "你想要弄死我 是吗 混蛋?"
"I'm alive, motherfucker." "我还活着 你个混蛋"
"I should bust a cap in yo ass." "我真应该往你*里放一枪啊"
You don't need that drama. 你肯定不想经历这个
So do not suggest abortion. 所以别提打胎的事
Now, fellas, if you get a woman pregnant, 好 哥们儿 如果你让一个女人怀孕了
you only got two things to say. 你只能说两句话
Two ways to try it on. 两种方法 供你挑选
Now, the first thing you can say is, "Wow, I can't believe you're pregnant." 第一种 你可以说 "哇 真不敢相信你怀孕了耶"
"I'm so happy. I can't wait for you to have this baby. I love you so much." "我太高兴了 我都等不及这个宝宝的降临了 我太爱你了"
I'll try it again. "Wow, I can't believe that you're pregnant." 我们再来一遍 "哇 真不敢相信你怀孕了"
"I'm so happy. I can't wait to have this baby." "我真太高兴了 我都等不及要这个宝宝了"
"I love you so much." "我真太爱你了"
That's cool. 这样很好
Now, if you don't wanna say that, you got one more choice. 但 如果你不愿意这么说 那你只剩一个选择了
A woman walks in the room, tells you that she's pregnant, 你女人走进房间 告诉你她怀孕了
you look her dead in the eye and you say... 你直直地看着她的眼睛 然后说...
"So what you gonna do?" "那你想怎么办?"
Ah, good, it ain't just me. 嗯 很好 看来不止我一个人这么邪恶
One thing I don't like about America is we got real bad drug policy. 我对美国有一点特不满意 那就是我们的药物政策
Horrible drug policy. 什么狗屁药物政策
We got people in jail for getting high. For getting high, man. 有人嗑药嗑high了就蹲班房了 就因为嗑high了哦
That's fucked up, man. 多扯淡的事情啊
The Government says drugs are illegal because we're trying to protect society. 政府说嗑药是违法的 因为他们要保护社会
But they don't give a fuck about yo safety, 但他们才不管你的安全嘞
they sell guns at Wal-Mart, they don't give a fuck about you. 他们在沃尔玛里面卖枪 他们把你当回事儿?
No, the Government's like this... 政府其实是这样的...
they don't want you to use your drugs, they want you to use their drugs. 他们不想你去嗑你的药 他们是希望你去嗑他们的药
So every night on TV you see a weird-ass drug commercial 所以每天晚上 你都能在电视上看到些莫名其妙的药品广告
trying to get you hooked on some legal shit. 想要你嗑上他们卖的那点药
And they just keep naming symptoms till they get one that you fucking got, OK? 他们就不停地列举各种症状 直到你能对号入座 懂?
It's like, "Are you sad? Are you lonely? You got athlete's foot?" 比如 "你难过吗? 你寂寞吗? 你有脚藓吗?"
"Are you hot? Are you cold? What you got? You want this pill, huh, motherfucker." "你热吗? 你冷吗? 你肿么了? 这药你得吃啊"
"You got to take this pill." "一定要吃"
They don't even tell you what the pill does. You see a lady on a horse or a man in the tub. 他们都不说这药是干嘛的 就给你看一个骑马背上的女人 或者一个泡浴缸里的男人
And they just keep naming symptoms. 然后他们在边上给你说各种症状
"Are you depressed? Are you lonely? Do your teeth hurt?" What the fuck. "你抑郁吗? 你孤单吗? 你牙疼吗?" 什么狗屁
I saw a commercial the other day that said, "Do you go to bed at night" 我有天都看到个广告这样说 "你会在晚上上床睡觉"
"and wake up in the morning?" "然后在早上醒过来吗?"
Oh, shit they got one. I got that. 哎呦我艹 这条被说中啦 这条儿我有啊
I'm sick, I need that pill. 我病了啊 这药我得吃啊
The Government trying to get you hooked on some legal fucking shit. 政府就是想让你嗑上他们给的药
And that's the truth, man. 这就是事实啊
The reason coke and weed are illegal in America don't got shit to do with yo safety. 可卡因和大麻在美国不合法 和你的安全没半毛钱关系
The reason that coke and weed are illegal in America 可卡因和大麻在这里不合法 就是因为
is cos the best coke and weed ain't made in America. 最好的可卡因和大麻不是咱美国国产的啊
If they made the good shit here, 如果他们能在这儿弄出点好货
there'd be a coke and weed restaurant on every fucking corner. TM每个路口都能给你开个卖可卡因和大麻的店
That's right. Wouldn't be no Starbucks, it'd be Weedbucks. 就是这样 没什么星巴克了 都是"麻巴克"
McDonald's, McCokeald's. 没麦当劳了 都变"麦可卡"了
Uh, get me a Happy Meal and an eight-ball, thank you. 嗯 给我来份开心乐园餐加一个"8号球" 谢谢
(8号球 一袋3.5克装可卡因粉的俗称)
Krispy Kreme, Kracky Kreme. 卡卡圈坊没了哦 只有"嗑嗑圈坊"了
Krispy Kreme 卡卡圈坊 1937年在美国诞生的甜甜圈品牌
That's how good Krispy Kreme doughnuts are. 卡卡甜甜圈有多好我告诉你哦
They're so good, if I told you right now they had crack in it, 它们好吃得 如果我告诉你里面掺了毒品
you'd go, "I knew something was up." 你会说 "我就知道有问题"
"I knew. These doughnuts are too damn good, man." "我就知道 这些甜甜圈太TM好吃了"
"Got me knockin' on the doughnut window at two in the morning." "害得我早上两点敲他们店的窗户"
"Come on, man, open up, man." "拜托了 哥们儿 开个门啊"
"Give me one more doughnut! I'll do anything!" "再给我一个甜甜圈吧! 叫我做什么都行啊!"
"I'll suck your dick!" "我舔你老二啊!"
That should be the new slogan for Krispy Kreme. 这没准都能做卡卡圈坊的新广告词了
Krispy Kreme - so good you'll suck a dick. 卡卡圈坊 - 味美香甜 值你一舔
These are some good-ass doughnuts. You'd be mad if your kid ate your doughnuts. 这甜甜圈真尼玛好吃啊 要是你小孩偷吃这个你肯定得毛
"Boy, you know what I had to do to get them doughnuts?" "小鬼 你知道我为买这些都干了什么吗?"
"Now leave my fucking doughnuts along." "赶紧把我的甜甜圈放下"
"Now I gotta go out and suck some more dick for doughnuts." "害得我又得出去给别人吹箫了"
"Kids will never learn, shit." "妈的 小屁孩永远不会懂"
No, man, the Government, they will never legalize drugs in America. 不 政府永远不会让毒品合法化
OK, the first reason they will never legalize drugs in America 他们这样做的第一个原因
is because the Government makes way too much money 是政府靠把咱黑人的兄弟姐妹扔进班房
putting our brothers and sisters in fucking jail. That's first of all. 能赚上好大一票啊 这是第一点
For bullshit. 就TM为点鸡毛蒜皮的事情
The second reason the Government will never legalize drugs in America 不让毒品合法化的第二个原因
is because, God forbid, some brown people got wealthy. 就是不能让棕色人种富起来
Can't have that. Cos drugs come from brown countries. 他们富起来了不行啊 因为毒品都是他们那些国家产的
We can't have wealthy brown people. 他们要富了我们绝对不点头
There are no wealthy black - or brown - people in America. 美国没有黑米人 或棕米人
We got some rich ones, we don't got no fucking wealth. 有米的有几个 但米人绝对没有
People go, "What's the difference?" Here's the difference. 人们会说 "有米和米人有毛区别?" 区别是这个
Shaq is rich. 奥尼尔(NBA球星) 那叫有米
The white man that signs his cheque is wealthy. 给他开支票的白人 那叫米人
"Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car." "喏 奥尼尔 你的支票 给自己买辆跳跳车吧"
"Bling-bling!" "记得配亮晶晶的轮毂哦!"
I'm not talking 'bout rich, I'm talking 'bout wealth, OK? 我说的不是有点小米 我说的是米人 懂不?
I'm talking about the white family that owns all the Similac. Those rich motherfuckers. 我说的是那些控股雅培奶粉的白人 那些有钱的混蛋
I'm talking about the white family that owns the color blue. Those rich bastards. 我说的是那些控股蒂芙尼珠宝的白人 那些有钱的混蛋
I ain't talking 'bout Oprah, I'm talking 'bout Bill Gates, OK? 我没说Oprah 我在说比尔盖茨 知道吗?
Oprah 著名脱口秀女王 主持人 当今最有影响力的黑人妇女之一
If Bill Gates woke up tomorrow with Oprah's money 如果比尔盖茨明早醒来 发现自己的钱和Oprah一样多了
he'd jump out a fucking window. 他TM能直接从窗口跳下去啊
He'd slit his throat on the way down. "Ah, shit." 他一边往下掉还一边割自己喉啊 "我 艹"
"I can't even put gas in my plane." "哥飞机的油都加不了了"
I'm not talking 'bout rich, I'm talking 'bout wealth. 我不是在说有米 我在说的是米人
Cos wealth will set us fucking free, OK? 因为米多了我们就自由了啊 是不是?
Cos wealth is empowering. 有钱能使鬼推磨啊
Wealth can uplift communities from poverty. 变米人了我们就能消除贫困社区了啊
A white man gets wealthy, 一个白人变米人了
he builds Wal-Marts and makes other white people have some motherfucking money. 他会盖个沃尔玛 让其他白人过来拉点米
A brother gets rich, he buys some motherfucking jewelry, OK? 一个老黑变米人了 他TM就去买点首饰珠宝 是不是?
Do you know what the fuck I'm talking 'bout? 你们TM懂我的意思?
I ain't talking 'bout rich, I'm talking 'bout wealth. 我说的不是有点小米 我说的是米人
Wealth is passed down from generation to generation. 米人的米 是能代代相传的
You can't get rid of wealth. 那些米你都甭想甩掉
Rich is some shit you can lose with a crazy summer and a drug habit. 小米是你度个假嗑个药立马就能没了的
Fuck, Rick James was rich. 艹 Rick James多有钱啊
(Rick James 80年代最红的艺人之一)
One minute you're singing Super Freak, the next you're doing Old Navy commercials. 前一秒还唱Super Freak 下一秒你就在拍Old Navy休闲服广告了
前者是1981年热门单曲 后者为美低档服装品牌
"Give it to me, baby! Give me corduroy!" "快给我 宝贝! 我要灯芯绒!"
("Give it to me baby" Rick James另一首热门单曲)
Not talking 'bout rich, I'm talking 'bout wealth. 我不在说有米 我在说米人
Don't get me wrong, it's not all white people's fault 别误解哦 黑人和棕色人做不了米人
that black and brown people don't have any fucking wealth. 也不全是白人的错
Maybe... now just maybe... 也许... 也许哦...
maybe if we didn't spend all our money on rims we might have some... 咱不把钱都砸轮毂上 或许还能攒上一点...
(轮毂 车轮承载轮胎的部分 通常被改装)
to invest. 拿去投资
We don't give a fuck, boy. 我们才不管呢
Black people, we love rims. 我们黑人最爱改轮毂了
We will put shiny-ass rims on any piece of shit car in the world. 不管什么破车我们都肯给它换个闪瞎你狗眼的轮毂
We don't give a fuck. 我们才不管
A brother would put rims on a toaster if you'd let him. 没人拦着的话 面包机我们也能给它上个轮毂
"Yo, man, I got some raisin toast sittin' on 22s." "你看看你看看 这面包机给我安了22寸的轮毂啊"
"22s! Look at the motherfuckers, look at 'em!" "22寸哦! 这个闪亮亮啊 你看看!"
"And they spinning, look at they spinning! '' "这一转 你看这闪得啊! "
"They spinning, look at they spinning!" "这一转 那个闪啊!"
We don't give a fuck. Money's new to black people. 我们才不管呢 钱这玩意儿对黑人那叫一个稀罕啊
We the most money-wasting motherfuckers on the face of the earth. 我们能算地球表面最浪费钱的哺乳动物了
We spend money like we think the shit's gonna rot. 好像钱在手里不花会烂掉一样
Brothers riding around with TVs in the headrests of the car. 咱黑哥开着车到处晃 头靠背后装着电视
The TVs is on and ain't nobody in the back seat. 电视开着 尼玛后座一个人都没有
I ain't talking 'bout rich, I'm talking 'bout wealth. 我没说有米 我在说米人
Now, when it comes to acquiring a fortune, 说起发大财
when it comes to acquiring wealth in the United States of America, 尤其是在美国发大财
different people have gone about it in different ways. 大家各辟蹊径
There's a saying about wealth, there's a saying about fortunes, 有个关于财富和金钱的谚语
and the saying is, "Behind every great fortune there's a great crime." 是这样说的 "每一份金钱背后 都沾满了鲜血与罪恶"
And some of the richest, most powerful people in the United States 美国一些最有钱有权的人
are the descendants of drug dealers. 都是些毒贩子的后代
Kennedys, Brockmans, it's all drug money. 肯尼迪家族 布罗克曼家族 赚的都是毒品钱
They call it bootlegging but that's just a white word that means drug dealing. 他们说是卖私货 这只不过是白人圈里贩毒的说法
They didn't sell boots, they sold the crack of their day. 卖的不是其他货 卖的就是当时的毒品
They killed cops and kids, and that's cool, good for them. 他们杀条子杀孩子 好得很 没问题
When it's time for other people to come up and acquire wealth 但当别人想赚钱发财的时候
the rules change. 游戏规则就变了
One of the number one rules in America when it comes to acquiring wealth goes like this. 在美国要发财的一大游戏规则是这样的
The rule is, only the white man can profit from pain. 就是 只有白人能从别人的痛苦中获益
Only the white man can profit from pain. 只有白人能这样
So if you're black or brown, you can make money and prosper and get rich in America. 如果你是黑人或棕色人种 你可以在美国脱个贫 致个富 奔个小康
But whatever you decide to do, it better be positive. 但不管你做什么 最好能积极向上点
Cos if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed, OK? 因为如果你发迹的时候有人受了伤害 那你就玩完了 懂?
Every now and then Oprah has a show where she's just giving away money. 你看现在Oprah每晚在节目里撒钱
You know why? She's trying to keep the Feds off her back. 图个啥? 就图FBI不要跟在自己屁股后面
Only the white man can profit from pain, OK? 只有白人能从别人的痛苦中获益 懂?
White man makes alcohol, tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. 白人给你造酒 这酒好喝呀 我爱 你爱 大家爱
Kills motherfuckers every single day, OK? 每天都TM害死人 是不是?
Some of you all ain't even gonna make it home tonight cos of alcohol. 在场的各位今晚就可能因为喝了两杯 永远回不了家了
Gonna be driving home, "That Chris Rock show is funny." 开车回家 边开边说 "Chris Rock这场真逗啊"
"Oh, shit!" "诶呦 我艹!"
But it's all right cos it's all white. 但白白惹人爱 一切无大碍
White man makes cigarettes. Cigarettes are the most dangerous product known to man. 白人给你卷烟 香烟能算人类历史上最有杀伤力的产品了
Kills motherfuckers every fucking day. 每天都TM害死人
Cigarettes are so dangerous, it kills motherfuckers that don't smoke! 香烟危险啊 不抽的也能给它弄死咯!
That's how fucking dangerous cigarettes are. That's right. 哎 就有这么危险
First-hand smoke, second-hand smoke, people talking out in their next into machines like... 一手烟 二手烟 抽的人跟别人讲话都这种声音...
"Hey, what's up, man? " "嗨 哥们儿 最近怎么样? "
"I love cigarettes. This shit is good." "我喜欢烟啊 这货真TM好啊"
But it's all right cos it's all white. 但白白惹人爱 一切无大碍
Shit, could you imagine if the Philip Morris family 艹 你想一下 如果Philip Morris家族
世界第一大私营卷烟生产公司 万宝路就他们家的
was a bunch of jeri-curled niggers from Mississippi? 是一群密西西比来的卷毛黑鬼吗?
Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? 你知道一包烟能判几年吗?
You would get 60 years for a pack of Newports. 一包Newport牌够你蹲60年啊
But it's all right cos it's all white. That's right. 但白白惹人爱 一切无大碍嘛
White man makes guns, nobody gives a fuck. 白人造枪 没人管
White man makes guns, kids shoot up each other in schools, nobody gives a fuck. 白人造枪 小孩子带枪去学校火拼 没人管啊
White man makes guns, no problem. 白人造枪 没问题
Black rapper says "gun", 黑人饶舌歌手唱到"枪" 字
Congressional hearing. 尼玛国会听证啊
(美国国会会对重大事件当事人进行调查听证)
Like, "Oh, my God, that nigger said gun!" "我艹 那黑鬼说了枪啊! "
"And he rhymed it with fun!" "这韵脚押得欢啊! "
And that's why people hate America... 美国就这样招人恨了...
the hypocrisy of our democracy, OK? 虚伪的民主啊 是不是?
That's why they hate America. 讨厌美国的就是这个
But let me tell you right now, 但我告诉你们
the number one reason people hate America, 人家讨厌美国的首要原因
the number one reason, is because of our religion. 首要原因 是我们的信仰
Americans worship money. 美国人崇拜金钱
We worship money. 我们崇拜金钱
Separate God from school, separate God from work, separate God from Government, 学校 企业 政府 都不谈宗教
but on your money it says, "In God we trust". 但钞票上印着"我们信赖上帝"
All my life I've been looking for God and he's right in my pocket. 众里寻他千百度 他就在我口袋住啊
Americans worship money. 美国人崇拜金钱
And we all go to the same church 然后我们都去同一个教堂做礼拜
the church of ATM. 就是ATM教堂
Everywhere you look, there's a new branch popping up, 你随便看看 这里又新开了个分行
reminding you about how much money you got or how much money you don't got. 时刻提醒你多有钱 你多没钱
And if you got less than $20, the machine won't even talk to you. 如果卡里没有20块 连那机器都不甩你啊
The machine's like, "You better go see a teller." 就像在说"你还是见柜员去吧"
You ever go to a teller and try to take out $8.50? 你们有谁去柜台就为了取八块五?
Oh, it's disgusting. 这TM丢人啊
Oh, man, you gotta wait on that long-ass line. 艹 你站在那个长长的队伍后面
People doing real transactions in front of you. 你前面的人各种大笔地转账
You get up to the fucking front, fill out your form. 你走到那该死的柜台门前 填好表
"Eight-fifty." "取8块5"
The fucking teller looks at it, she looks at you, she looks at the chit. 那柜员看了看单子 看了看你 再看看那张单子
She don't even take the money out the drawer, she take it out her pocket. 她TM都不开抽屉 直接往自己口袋里掏啊
"Wastin' my time. Get the fuck outta here, shit." "TM浪费我时间 妹的拿了钱快滚"
I think every bank should have a box of ones by the door 我觉得每个银行都应该在门口放个零钱罐
for they broke-ass customers. 可怜可怜那些破了产的客户
"I don't need free checking, I need lunch money." "我不要手续费全免 我要午饭钱啊"
"Trying to buy me some pork fried rice, man." "给我弄碗肉丁炒饭嘛"
Here's the other thing, man. 还有个事儿哦
Drugs are illegal but ATM machines are open 24 hours a day. 毒品不合法 ATM却24小时服务
24 hours a day. For who? 24小时哎 为谁服务啊?
Who the fuck is it open for? 这TM在为谁开着?
Have you ever taken out $300 at four o'clock in the morning 有谁在凌晨四点 去取三百块
for something positive? 是为了干正事儿吗?
Shit, when you press that machine at four o'clock in the morning, 艹 你凌晨四点按那机器的时候
I think a psychiatrist should pop up on the screen and go, Come on, man." 屏幕上应该蹦出个精神病专家 说"行了哥们儿"
"Save your money, man." "省点钱嘛"
"Don't buy drugs, buy some rims." "别买毒品了 买点轮毂"
"They spinnin', look at they spinnin'! They spinnin'! " "这一转 你看这闪瞎了啊! "
"They spinnin', look at they spinnin'! " "这一转 你看这闪瞎了啊! "
Americans worship money. 美国人崇拜金钱
Shit, you know why banks are closed on Sunday? 知道银行为啥礼拜天关门吗?
Cos if they wasn't church'd be empty. 因为不关门就没人去教堂了啊
Now, I love America, man, I must say. I love America. 但我爱美国 各位 我必须说 我爱美国
I got to say, America is the greatest country in the world, OK? 我得说美国是这个世界上最伟大的国家
It's the greatest country in the world. 世界上最伟大的国家
In the whole world. It's the best place. 放眼全球 咱们甲天下
There's no place I'd rather be or be from. 我只愿在这儿生 在这儿长
And we are all lucky to be here. Everybody in this room, lucky to be here. 能在美国的人都很幸运 在场的各位 都很幸运
Even black people, lucky to be here. 就算是黑人 也很幸运
But if you black, you gotta look at America a little different. 但你要是黑人 你对美国的看法得有那么一丁点儿不同
If you black, America's like the uncle that paid your way through college 如果你是黑人 美国就像一路供你进大学的叔叔
but molested you. 但性骚扰你
Oh, you gotta forgive, right? You gotta forgive. 要学会原谅 对不? 要学会原谅啊
What's the biggest issue in America right now? The most divisive issue in America 知道美国现在最大的争议是什么吗? 在美国最大的争议
is affirmative action. 就是平权法案
联邦和州政府在法律上禁止对肤色 宗教 性别或种族不同的人进行就业歧视
A lot of people think it's to do with the '60s, the back of the bus, separate lunch counters. No. 很多人觉得它是针对60年代黑人公车只能坐后排 午餐和白人分开坐 不是的
When you see footage of the '60s, see black people, see us getting sprayed down, and holds down 你看60年代的片子 看到黑人被高压水枪喷 被压迫
dogs getting sicked on us, little girls getting burnt up in churches, 狗都不正眼瞧我们 小姑娘在教堂里被点了烧
that's just white people being nice. 这算白人对我们客气的了
Nicer than they was in the '50s, '40s, and '30s. 比30 40 50年代那会儿客气多了
Shit, there's black people that died in the '30s 要有个死在30年代的黑人
that was looking down from heaven in the '60s going, "Man, them niggers got it good." 在天堂里看60年代的事 他会说"那些黑鬼福气啊"
No, no, no. Affirmative action was put into place to offset policies 歧视早就有了 平权法案是用来消除美国政府
that the United States Government implemented during slavery 奴隶时期通过的 至今还影响着我们的
that affect us today. 政策法案的
When I talk about slavery, I'm just talking about a period of time 我说奴隶时期 是说黑人们什么权利都没有
where black people had no rights. 的那段时间
So you're talking about the 1600s 说的大概是从17世纪
to about 1964. 到1964年 (那年美国黑人享有了完全投票权)
You know, give or take a year, depending on when your town decided to act right. 可能有一年的偏差 取决于你那片儿啥时候从的良
People go, "What happened during slavery that could affect us today? " 人们会问 "奴隶制的什么事情现在还会影响我们? "
A lot of shit happened during slavery that affects us every day. 到现在还影响着我们的 奴隶制时期的事情多了去了
For instance, during slavery, they used to take the biggest, strongest slaves and breed them 比如 在奴隶制时期 白人们会选出最强壮的奴隶们来交配
and try their best to make big, strong super-slaves, OK? 极尽所能培育超强壮的奴隶 知道不?
That's right. And there's evidence of that today. 就是这样 这事情至今有据可查
Like the NFL, for instance. 比如NFL
National Football League 美国国家橄榄球联盟
NFL stands for Nigger Fucking Large. NFL就是指"黑鬼TM壮"
They bred the slaves, and this is why black people dominate every physical activity 他们给黑奴配种 所以现在黑人们称霸美国
in the United States of America. 所有的体育运动
We're only 10% of the population, we're 90% of the Final Four, OK? 我们只占总人口的10% 却占了四强赛里的90% 知道不?
We fucking dominate all this shit, OK? 这些运动我们都称霸了啊 不是吗?
Basketball, baseball, football, 篮球 棒球 橄榄球
boxing, track, even golf and tennis. 拳击 田径 甚至还有高尔夫和网球
As soon as they make a heated hockey rink, we gonna take that shit too. 要是他们造得出暖和的冰上曲棍球场 那事儿我们照样能给摆平咯
Motherfuck Wayne Gretzky. 什么狗屁Wayne Gretzky (美白人冰上曲棍球球员)
Wait till you see Lebron on some skates. 你坐等詹姆斯踩着冰刀啊 (勒布朗·詹姆斯 NBA著名球星)
You ain't seen shit yet. 你都没来得及反应哦
He just gonna have one skate, chilling, "What's up? " 他只要一脚穿冰鞋 超淡定 "怎么样? "
He ain't gonna have a stick. He gonna smack the puck with his dick. Pow! 球棍都用不着 直接用他老二就打了哦 啪!
Slapshot bi-atch! 一次强打哦亲!
(bi-atch比bitch更具黑人气质)
So that's what they did to the big, strong slaves. 他们就这样对强壮的黑奴的
And you know what they did to the smart ones? 你猜他们怎么对聪明的黑奴?
Or at least the ones they thought were smart. They killed them. That's what they did. 或者白人觉得聪明的黑奴 他们TM杀了人家啊 就是这样
That's right. That was the policy of the United States Government, 没错 这就是那时美国政府的政策
to kill smart black people. That's right. 杀掉聪明的黑人 就这样
So the real smart motherfuckers had to hide the fact that they were smart. 所以真正聪明的黑奴就得装傻
The law of the land was, if you read, you die. 当时的法律是 你要能读书 就死定了
If you read, you fucking die, OK? 你能读书 你他妈死定了 明白吗?
So you know what that means? The first black drug dealers didn't even sell drugs. 什么意思呢? 最早的黑人毒贩都不贩毒
They sold books. TM都贩书啊
"Yo, man, I got two pages, man, got two pages, man, check it out, man." "哟 哥们儿 我搞了两页书啊 来看看 两页书喔"
"Yo, man, I got a word, check it out, man, I got a new word." "哟 哥们儿 我这有个生词哦 来看看"
"I got a new word, man. It's new, man." "我这有个生词啊 新的哦"
So think about the poor slaves that could read but had to hide it. 想想那些明明识字还得装傻的苦逼奴隶们
Think about the poor slaves that could read 想想那些自己识字
but was scared to teach they kids to read for fear they'd be killing their kids. 却不敢教孩子认字 怕害死他们的苦逼奴隶们
Think about the poor slave who used to drive the buggy into town every day. 想想那些天天驾马车进城的苦逼奴隶们
Used to drive the buggy. He's driving the buggy, driving the buggy... 一直驾着马车 他驾着马车 驾着驾着...
and he could read... he's driving the buggy. 他还识字... 他驾着驾着驾着
And up ahead he sees a real busy intersection. He's driving the buggy... 他看见不远处 有个车水马龙的十字路口 他驾着驾着驾着...
And then he sees a stop sign... 然后他看到一个停车标志...
Now he's got a real dilemma. 现在够他纠结的了
"Oh, Lor" "哦 上帝啊"
"what is I gon' do? " "我咋办啊? "
"Oh, Lor, what is I gon' do? " "哦 上帝 我该咋办啊? "
"OK, if I go across this intersection" "好吧 如果我要穿这个路口"
"I'm-a have a accident." "肯定人仰马翻"
"If I stop at this sign, these crackers'll kill me." "如果我停在这个标志前 那帮逼样的会杀了我"
"Oh, Lor, what is I gon' do? " "哦 上帝啊 我该咋办啊? "
And he don't know. And he's riding the buggy. 他不知道咋办 他驾着马车
And at the last minute, he says, "Fuck it," and goes through the intersection. 紧急关头 他说"去他的" 就冲进了那十字路口
He has a big old accident, wipes out. 果然出了一场大事故 人仰马翻
Wipes out, almost kills somebody. And the police come. 全散架了 差点闹出人命 警察来了
"Nigger, what's wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? " "黑鬼 你搞毛啊? 你TM搞毛啊? "
"You could've killed somebody, nigger. You see that stop sign? " "你差点害死人啊 黑鬼 没看到停车标志吗? "
"Uh, I don't know what you talking 'bout, sir." "呃 长官 我不知道你在说什么"
"Nigger, you see that stop sign right there? " "黑鬼 你没看到停车标志吗 就在那儿? "
"Uh, do you mean that octagon thing? " "呃 你是说那个八边形的东西吗? "
"Nigger, who taught you 'octagon'? " "黑鬼 谁教你说'八边形' 的? "
Don't get me wrong with affirmative action. 别误会我说的平权法案
I don't think I should get a job over a white person if I get a lower mark in a test. 我不是说我考分没白人高 政府也要把工作让给我
I don't think I should get accepted into a school over a white person if I get a lower mark in a test. 我不是说我考得没白人好 学校也要优先录取我
But if there's a tie, fuck 'em. 但要是考分一样 去你的白人
Shit, you had a 400-year head start, motherfucker. 小样 你们比我早读400年书啊
White man, you gonna be all right. 但白人们 你们ok的
You know, a lot of people say, "If you're the smartest and the brightest," 很多人说 "如果你是最聪明机灵的人"
"you won't need affirmative action, would be able to get rid of the affirmative action altogether, if you strive to be the smartest and the brightest." "你就不需要平权法案 如果你努力变聪明变机灵 你都用不着它"
They say that as if the country is run by the smartest and the brightest. 他们这么说 好像美国是被最聪明机灵的人统治着
I was in black schools and white schools so you can't tell me shit. 黑人和白人的学校我都待过 所以你别跟我JB扯
When you go to a class, there are 30 kids in the class. 假设你在的班里 有30个孩子
Five smart, five dumb, and the rest are in the middle. 5个文艺 5个2B 其他都是平庸之辈
And that's all America is... a nation in the middle. 这就是美国... 一个平庸的国家
A nation of B and C students, that's all the fuck it is. 一个得B得C的学生组成的国家 仅此而已
A nation of B and C students. But let's keep it fucking real, OK? 大部分都是平庸之辈 但咱TM能坦率点吗?
A black C student can't run no fucking company. 考C的黑人学生TM别想开公司
A black C student can't even be the manager of Burger King. 考C的黑人学生都TM当不了"汉堡王" 经理
Meanwhile, the white C student just happens to be 但是呢 某个考C的白人学生却一不小心
the President of the United States of America. 做了美利坚合众国那总统
(暗指小布什总统)
Other people got they problems right now in America. 美国其他人也有着各自的烦恼
What's the other big issue in America right now? Gay marriage. 如今美国另一大争议是什么? 同性婚姻
Should gays be allowed to marry? 同性婚姻是否该合法化?
You know, though, the beautiful thing about the gay marriage issue 这个争论 最好的一点就在
is it's the absolute only issue the President will answer. 这绝对是总统唯一会正面回答的问题
The President don't give a fuck, he will give you a straight answer on gay marriage. 总统可不管那么多 这答案直接甩给你
"Mr. President, what about the war? When's the war gonna end? " "请问总统先生 战争怎么说? 什么时候才能结束? "
"Well, you never know, we're talking to people, we're looking for stuff, we might find, we might not" "这个 不好说 我们在讨论 我们在找大规模杀伤性武器 可能找得到可能找不到"
"it's out there, we gonna get it. You never know how it's gonna end. Yeah." "如果真有我们就找得到 啥时候结束说不定哦 耶"
"Mr. President, what about the economy? When's it gonna pick up? " "请问总统先生 经济呢? 何时才能回暖? "
"Well, you never know, we're talking to people," "这个嘛 不好说 我们还在讨论"
"and economic indicators indicate that indications are coming to the indicator." "我们还在看经济指数当中 经济指标表明的经济迹象"
"you know what am I saying? all right." "懂我的意思吗? 好"
"Uh, Mr. President, what about gay marriage? " "呃 总统先生 关于同性婚姻您怎么看? "
"Fuck them faggots." "去他MD基佬"
Damn, that's some harsh shit. 哇塞 这话很伤啊
People always say, we can't have gay marriage 有人总说 我们不能有同性婚姻
cos marriage is a sacred institution that happens in the church. It's sacred! 因为婚礼是神圣的 它在神圣的教堂举办!
No, it's not. Marriage ain't sacred. Not in America. 屁 婚姻神圣个毛 至少不在美国
Not in the country that watches "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire? " 不在这个所有人天天看"谁想嫁百万富翁"
and "The Bachelor and The Bachelorette" and "Who Wants To Marry A Midget? " 还有"单身男女" 和"谁愿意嫁给侏儒" 的国家
Get the fuck outta here. 别他妈扯淡了
Shit. Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else. 艹 同性恋也有权踏进婚姻的坟墓啊
Get the fuck outta here. Michael Jackson got married. How fucking sacred is that shit? 去TMD 连Michael都结婚了 婚姻那玩意儿还能有多神圣?
But I'm married, I'm married. It's a beautiful thing, man. 但我还是结婚了 我结婚了 这事情美得啊
And I don't cheat, I don't cheat. 我不劈腿 我不
I don't. No. 真的 没有
Not because I'm a great husband, 不是说因为我是个好丈夫
just cos I'm tired of getting caught. 我只是不想再被逮着了
Gotta put the girls in the mistress protection program. 得把小三们加入"情妇保护计划"
From now on your name is Carol. 从现在起你的名字就是Carol
If anybody calls you Lisa, ignore 'em. 如果有人叫你Lisa 你不要理
- OK, Lisa? - OK. - 好吗 Lisa? - 好的
Bitch, you gonna get us killed! 贱人 你要害死我们俩啊!
The fuck is wrong with you? 你搞什么搞?
You won't last five minutes on the streets. 你在大街上都活不过5分钟啊
Now I don't cheat, man. 喏 我不劈腿
Another big reason I don't cheat is cos I never meet any girls that wanna fuck me. 我不劈腿的另一主要原因就是 我至今还没碰到哪个想上我的女的
I'm just not that celebrity. I don't bring it out of them like that. 我就没那么有名气 没那么星光闪耀
Women see Denzel Washington, they go, "I'm gonna fuck him." 女人看见Denzel Washington (美黑人演员) 就会说 "我要上了他"
They start kicking off shoes soon as they see his ass. 她们一看到他 就甩掉高跟鞋 屁颠屁颠开始追了
Women see me, 当女人看见我
occasionally they wanna fuck me, 偶尔 她们也会想和我上床
but when women wanna fuck me, they get real practical about it. 但这时候 她们变得很实用主义
They go, "You know what? I bet you if I fucked Chris Rock," 她们会说 "你信不信? 我敢打赌 如果我上了Chris Rock"
"I could get him to pay my Visa bill." "我能让他帮我还信用卡账单"
I have paid so many college loans in my day. 我这辈子还过的助学贷款
I have put more girls through school than the United Negro College Fund. 资助进大学的女生 数量比黑人联合大学基金会还要多啊
Shit, I should've had my own dorm at Howard. 我日 我都该在霍华德大学有由我冠名的宿舍了
"And this is the Chris Rock Cafeteria." "这里就是Chris Rock餐厅"
"Chris loves sloppy joes!" "Chris喜欢炒牛肉酱哦!"
Yes, I'm married, I'm married, 是的 我结婚了 我结婚了
and bored out of my fucking mind. 无聊到我要抓狂了
But it's a beautiful thing, a beautiful thing. 但结婚还是件很美妙的事 嗯
If you're in a good relationship, chances are you're bored out of your fucking mind. 如果你处于一段很好的关系中 你很可能已经无聊到抓狂了
All good relationships are boring. 所有和谐的婚姻都TM很无聊
The only exciting relationships are bad ones. 唯一能叫人兴奋的是都是那些不和谐的
You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow in a bad relationship. 在不和谐的婚姻里 你永远都不会知道接下来会发生什么
You never know when you're gonna walk in and go, "Hey, you gave me crabs!" 你永远都不知道哪天你回家老婆对你说 "喂 你传给我阴虱了啊!"
That's exciting. 这给力伐
I wonder what tomorrow's gonna bring. 我很好奇明天会有什么事诶
And those are the choices you got in life. 这些就是你要面对的选择
You can be married and bored or single and lonely. 要么结婚却无聊着 要么光棍又孤单着
Ain't no happiness nowhere. 永远不会有幸福
Married and bored or single and lonely. 结了婚无聊 或者光着棍孤单
That's right. Marriage is some boring-ass shit. 就是这样 婚姻就是件无聊的事
Once you get married, you gotta hang around other married people 你结了婚 就得和其他已婚人士混在一起
and that's just disgusting. 然后这事情那叫一个恶心
You ever go to dinner with six neutered adults? 你有没有和6个不男不女的人一起吃过饭?
A bunch of women talking about Diaper Genies and hair coloring. 一群娘们儿在一起讨论尿布讨论染发
"You know, if you leave it in too long it stings." Shut the fuck up. "如果我留太长了 它就会刺出来" 给我闭嘴
A bunch of men talking about barbecue grills and routes to work. 一群男人坐一起交流BBQ烤架 还有开车上班的路线
"Sometimes I take the highway but if it's backed up, I got some side streets..." "有时候我走高速 但如果高速堵了 我会抄些小路..."
"that get me there in half the time. Check it out." "这样我只要开一半的时间 下次你试试"
"I-95 is clear somet..." Shut the fuck up! "I-95 有时候就很空..." 给我闭嘴!
I hate married people. 我讨厌结了婚的人
It's fucking disgusting. 他们太恶心了
If you go to eat dinner with single people, 如果你和单身的人一起吃饭
single people eat for an hour and 30 minutes and leave, 他们吃上一个半小时就走人了
cos they got fucking to do. 因为人家还有事要"干" 啊
Married people close down a restaurant. 结了婚的人能吃到人家饭店打烊
They start ordering coffee and dessert. 饭吃完了 开始叫咖啡叫点心
Start talking to the architect."I like the thing you put right there." 开始聊饭店的装修布局 "我喜欢你放在这里的这个东西"
Start talking to the cook. "What's in the tea? " 开始跟厨师聊天 "这茶里加了神马? "
"Water, bitch! " "加了水! "
"Hurry up, we got a lot of not fucking to do." "速度点啊 我们还有事要'干' 啊"
"If you hurry up, we cannot fuck all night." "如果你不赶紧点 我们就没法'干' 上一晚了啊"
Oh, I hate married fucking people, man. 噢 我恨透那些已经结了婚的人了
And, fellas, once you get married, you become your wife's pet. You become a fucking pet. 各位兄弟 只要你一结婚 你TM就变成你老婆的宠物了 就变宠物了
Cos women like to get they husbands together that don't even know each other, 因为女人喜欢把她们相互之间都 不认识的老公赶到一起
and have like a grown man play date. 然后弄一个老爷们儿play date
美国儿童的社交活动 孩子带上自己的玩具和别的孩子一起玩
Put you in a room with some other married motherfucker 把你和另外一个结了婚的逼样安排在一个房间
and go, "He likes baseball just like you." 然后说 "他和你一样也喜欢棒球哦"
And you're in some room with some fucking stranger going, "I like baseball." 然后你就在那屋里跟一个不认识的逼样聊 "我喜欢棒球"
"I like baseball too. Yeah." "嗯 我也喜欢棒球"
- Yeah, baseball, good. - Yeah. - 嗯 棒球啊 好 - 是啊
"Honey, who the fuck is this? " "老婆 这TM谁啊? "
"Get me the fuck out of here, I don't need no new friends." "快把我弄出去 我要毛新朋友"
"If you wanna help me out, introduce me to a girl." "你真要帮我找 帮我找个妹子啊"
I hate married people, man. 我讨厌结了婚的人
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring a single crackhead. 只要我和某对夫妻出去玩 我都想带个嗑药的光棍
Just to spicen up the activities. 就是为了活跃一下气氛
Come on, tell us some of your cracky tales, please. 来来来 给我们说说你嗑药的那点事儿
Married and bored, single and lonely. 结了婚无聊 或者光着棍寂寞
The problem with relationships, people want too much. 婚姻问题的关键在于 人们期望过高
Everybody's looking for a soul mate. 谁都想要个心心相印的
"We're soul mates, we're one, we're soul mates." "我们心心相印啊 两颗心贴一起啊"
"I'm a Pisces, he's Aquarius, we're perfect. We're soul mates, it's incredible." "我是双鱼他是水瓶 我们是完美的组合啊 息息相通无与伦比啊"
"His moon is my star and it's a soul mate." "我们的星相是绝配啊"
"We complete each other and finish each other's sentences." "我们都能把对方说的话接上"
"The other day I said, 'Honey, it's gonna r...' and he said rain too!" "那天我说 '亲爱的 要下...' '雨了' 他也说了'雨' 哦! "
"It's amazing! It's like we're telekinesic, we're telekinesic." "多奇妙啊 我们像有心电感应一样 心电感应啊"
"It's incredible, my God." "太美了 天呐"
Nobody gets a soul mate. It don't happen. 没人找得到心心相印的 这事情不会发生
Nobody. Not even James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, 没有人找得到 就算James Brown 号称灵魂音乐教父的
James Brown 传奇R&B歌手
he don't even get a soul mate, 他也找不到一个心心相印的
as we all saw a couple of weeks ago. 正如我们几周前看到的那样 (04年因家庭暴力被捕)
James Brown looking like Nick Nolte. 把自己弄得像Nick Nolte一样
Nick Nolte 美著名演员
23岁开始表演生涯 多饰演性格标悍的角色
Like, he put the good foot in her ass. 好像想把自己那脚 踢进老婆*里一样
Nobody gets a soul mate. 没人找得到心心相印的
All you gonna get in life if you lucky is a mate. 你要是人品好 那你还能找到一个在一起的
Just a mate. 只不过是待在一起哦
Somebody you fuck, go to movies with. 跟你滚床单 然后出去看个电影
You fuck, go to another movie. 再滚 然后再去看个电影
You fuck, go to a comedy show. 跟你滚一下 去看个脱口秀
You fuck, go to your grandmomma's house. 再滚一下 去次你奶奶家
You fuck, go to your momma's house. You fuck, go see another movie. 然后又是滚床单 然后去看你老妈 再滚 再看个电影
Somewhere in between fucking and movies, he goes, "Wanna get something to eat? " 在滚床单和看电影中间的某段时间 他会问 "要吃点什么? "
That's all relationships are, they ain't that complicated. It's fucking and eating. 两个人在一起就这么点事 一点不复杂 一起滚床单 + 一起吃饭
If you don't like fucking somebody 如果你不喜欢和他滚床单
and you don't like eating with them, y'all don't need to be together. 而且你也不喜欢和他吃饭的话 我说你们都没在一起都必要了
And the longer you're with somebody, it's more eating and less fucking. 然后你们在一起的时间越长 吃饭就越多 嘿咻就越少
You don't remember the last time you fucked 上次滚床单是啥时候你都说不上来了
but you know you had rice and beans on Wednesday. 礼拜三吃的是豆子米饭你倒记忆犹新
You're never gonna get a soul mate, you never gonna meet the perfect person. 你找不到心心相印的人的 碰不到那个完美的TA的
You're never gonna meet somebody that loves Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan. 你不会找到那谁 又喜欢看宋飞传(情景喜剧) 又喜欢听Hip Hop
It ain't happening. 想都别想
Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain't gonna be the perfect time. 即使你地利人和碰到了那个完美的TA 天不时啊
You're married, they're single. 他们单身 你已经结婚了
That's right. You're Jewish, they're Palestinian. 他们是巴勒斯坦的 你是以色列的
You're Mexican, they're a raccoon. 你是墨西哥人 他们是浣熊
You're a black woman, he's a black man. 你是黑人女人 他是黑人男人
There's always a obstacle in the way. 总有一道跨不过去的坎的
You're never gonna meet the perfect person, it's never gonna happen, OK? 别指望找到完美的TA 不会有的事情
Every now and then, God likes to play practical jokes on people. 有时候 上帝就是喜欢捉弄我们
God will send you on a double date with the perfect couple. 他会安排你们两口子 和一对完美组合一起出去
You ever been out with the perfect couple? 有谁和这样的一对儿一起出去过没?
Ever made the mistake of going on a double date with a couple that's actually in love? 有没有犯过这种傻 和这样真正相爱的一对儿在一起?
You in the middle of your bullshit relationship. 你TM还陷在你那狗屎一样的感情里面
And you sit down with two people that's in love. 然后你们两个和那俩卿卿我我的人坐一起
You can't even eat your food cos you can't believe what the fuck you are witnessing. 你都没法把饭咽下去 因为你不敢相信你目睹的一切啊
You got a fork in your hand, you're like, "Oh, shit." 你握着个叉子 心里想 "我勒个去啊"
"He's really listening to what she's got to say." "他居然真的在听她说的话啊"
"Wow. They really like being around each other." "哇靠 他们真的喜欢和对方在一起啊"
"Man, we can't hang with them no more. They gonna break us up!" "不能再跟他们一起混了 要害我们分手的!"
"Can't let these happy motherfuckers fuck up my life. No way!" "可不能叫这些人毁了我的小日子 没门!"
See, the thing is, men, we are ill-prepared when it comes to relationships. 呐 碰到感情这方面的变故 我们男人总会被弄个措手不及
We are ill-prepared. That's right. 措手不及啊 没错
You would think by now women would rule the world. 你也许会觉得现在 是女人在主宰世界
You would think women would rule the world. But they don't! 觉得现在是女人在主宰世界 但其实不然!
They don't. You know why? 不是她们 知道为什么?
Cos women hate women. 因为女人恨女人
Women hate women. 女人恨女人啊
You do. 千真万确
You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for 25 years, 随便找在座的两个要好的女的 25年的闺蜜
you put a man in between them, "Fuck that bitch." "Fuck that bitch." 在她们中间塞个男的 "去她个逼样的" "去她个逼样的"
Women hate women. 女人恨女人啊
Guys are not like that. Guys actually think there's other fish in the sea. 我们男人呢 会去惦记篮子里别的菜
If a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, 要是一男的把他妹子带给他哥们儿看
when they walk away, his boy goes, "Oh, man, she's nice. I gotta get me a girl like that." 这俩走掉之后 他哥们儿会说 "诶呦 这妹子灵啊 我也要给自己找个这样的"
If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, 要是一个女的 把她新男友带给她闺蜜看
when they walk away, her girlfriend goes, 等他俩一走 她闺蜜会说
"I gotta get him." "我要拿下他"
"And I will slit that bitch's throat to do it." "然后要我割了这B的喉咙我也肯"
Shit, every woman in here got a girlfriend they don't trust around they man. 艹 每个女的都有这样一个闺蜜 坚决不能让她见到自己男人
A good girlfriend too. "I'll go shopping with her" 再要好也没用 "跟她一起轧马路好得很"
"but I ain't gonna leave that bitch with my man for five minutes." "但把她跟我男人放一起 就算只待5分钟 想都别想"
I remember one time, one time I was in a restaurant, 我记得 一次我在外面吃饭
me, my wife, her girlfriend. 我 我老婆 她闺蜜
My wife said, "I'm going to the bathroom." I say, "OK, I'll see you when you get back." 我老婆说 "我要上厕所" 我说 "哦 我等你回来"
She said, "No, you coming with me." 她说 "不 你跟我走"
And she made me come with her. 她叫我跟着她去上厕所啊
And she did the right thing cos I'd have fucked the girl. 我说她做得好 不然我已经把她闺蜜给上了
I'd have fucked her on the quesadilla, I don't give a fuck. 把她按在玉米饼上干也好啊 我管这么多
Nah, man. But one thing I learned, man, 真的哦 但各位 我发现了一件事
once you get married, fellas, women wanna be responsible for all your happiness. 一旦你结了婚 各位 你女人就会想掌控你所有的幸福
All your happiness. You got that? 你所有的幸福 听见没?
Not some of it. All of it. 不是一部分 是全部
Fellas, you ever have your woman catch you jerking off? 各位 有谁在打飞机的时候被老婆逮着过吗?
Ever have your woman catch you jerking off? 有谁在打飞机的时候被老婆逮着过吗?
Did she get mad at you, even though she wasn't thinking about fucking you? 她发火没 尽管她都没打算把你上了?
Here's the real deal, she ain't mad you was jerking off. 告诉你为什么 你打飞机她才不生气嘞
She's mad you was making yourself happy. 她生气 是因为你自己让自己爽了
"How dare you make yourself fucking happy?" "你怎么敢自说自话让自己爽了?"
"I'm in charge of happiness in this house. You'll be miserable till I fucking say so." "这屋子里的幸福都归我管 没我点头你只有苦逼的份"
"Take your hands out yo pockets! " "把手给我从兜里伸出来! "
Another thing with women, one thing about women, 还有一件事 女人还有一件事
women hate for you to expect anything. 她们讨厌你把什么事情都当理所当然
Don't expect shit. 别期望任何东西
A woman can cook for you every day for five years. 一女人能天天做饭 做五年
Every day food is on the table, 每天都把饭菜端上桌
every day at 7:49, every day. 每一天的7点49分
The day you come home, there ain't no food, 一天你回家了 桌上没菜
and you ask nicely, "Honey, where's the food?" 你好好地问了句 "老婆 菜呢?"
"What am I, your fuckin' maid?" "我TM是你佣人吗?"
"You need to learn how to cook for yourself, you stupid motherfucker." "要会给自己烧饭知道吗 你个SB"
So, fellas, in order to avoid this, 所以各位 为了避免这种尴尬情况的发生
what you gotta do is act super-nice every time she does anything. 你要做的是 无论她做了什么 你都表现得超级乖
No matter how little it is, make a big deal out of it. 不管多小的事 坚决严肃对待
If she pour you some water, you gotta go, "Wow, water! " 她给你倒杯水 你得说 "哇 水诶! "
"Get outta here. You're incredible! You're so smart! " "我勒个去 你真棒极了! 太犀利了! "
She fucking folds a napkin. "Wow, look at that! You're incredible." 她TM叠个餐巾 "沃 看啊! 你真了不起! "
You gotta treat 'em like retarded kids, OK? 对她得像对智障儿一样啊 懂?
Oh, man. That's right. 真的哦
Married and bored, single and lonely. 要么结了婚无聊 要么光着棍孤单
That's right, guys. Here's the thing... when you're married, you wanna kill your spouse. 没错 就是这样 你要结婚了 你想把你对象做了
When you're single, you wanna kill yourself. 你要光棍着 你想把自己做了
Better her than me. 与其我不如她嘛
Anybody in this room that's ever been in love will testify to this shit. 在座任何一个结过婚的 都能为我这段话作证
If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. 你要没策划过一个谋杀 你不算结过婚
If you haven't seriously thought about killing the motherfucker, 你要没静下心来 仔细想怎么做掉那逼样的
you ain't been in love. 你不算结过婚
If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand 你要没手里拿着一罐毒鼠强
and looked at it for 45 minutes straight, you ain't been in love. 直盯盯地看个45分钟 你不算结过婚
If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag 你要没买过把铲子 买个麻袋
and a rug to roll they ass up in, you ain't been in love. 还有一条把他们裹起来的毯子 你不算结过婚
If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror... 你要没在镜子前面练过自己的不在场证明...
you ain't been in love. 你不算结过婚
The only thing that stopped you from killing this motherfucker 唯一让你计划破了产的
was an episode of CSI. 是一集CSI啊
(CSI 热播美剧 犯罪现场调查)
Oh, man, they thorough. 哎哟 他们这活做得那个细啊
I'd better make up, they might catch my ass. 我得好好准备啊 不然要被逮着的
That's right, man. See, relationships are hard. 是啊 所以婚姻是很艰苦的
But in order for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page. 但要维持婚姻的话 两个人得在一个出发点上
Both people have to have the same focus. 两个的焦点得在一起
And we all know what that page is, what that focus is. 我们都知道这个出发点在哪 这个焦点在哪
In order for the relationship to work, both people have to have the same focus, 但要维持婚姻的话 两个人的焦点得在一起
And what's that focus? The focus is all about her. 这焦点是什么? 就是她
It's all about her. 就 是 她
She's already there, fellas, she's waiting for you to come aboard. 她已经在那里了啊 坐等你上钩啊
Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, 各位 等你早上爬起来
you should look yourself in the mirror and say, "Fuck you." 你该照着镜子对自己说 "去你妈的"
"Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans," "去你MD希望 去你MD梦想 去你MD计划"
"fuck everything you thought this life was gonna bring you." "对你所有生命里的期待都说句去你MD"
"Now let's go out there and try and make this bitch happy." "然后现在可以过去 博那逼样的一笑了"
Yes. 没错
It's all about her, fellas. 啥都围她转
Say yes to everything. 对啥都说好
Everything. Everything you can afford, say yes to. 所有 所有你买得起的 都说好
Just say yes. Before she even gets it out of her fucking mouth. 只管说好 在她把话说完之前就说
"Honey, can I..." Yes. "Honey, I want..." "Honey, how 'bout... " Yes. "老公 我能不能..." 好 "老公我要..." 好 "老公 要不..." 好
Just get a stamp. Yes, yes... TM直接弄个图章 好好好好...
Another thing, fellas... don't argue. 各位 还有一件事... 别跟她们吵
You cannot win. 你没戏的
You cannot beat a woman in an argument, it's impossible. 你不会吵得过一个女人的 不可能的事情
You will not win, cos men... we are handicapped when it comes to arguing 赢不了的 因为... 男人都先天性吵架障碍啊
cos we have a need to make sense. 因为我们为的是把事情说通啊
Women ain't gonna let a little thing like sense fuck up they argument. 女人吵架的时候才不跟你讲道理
Cos she not in it for sense, she's in it for distance and irritation. 因为她们吵才不为了这个 她们就是为了把你搞毛搞不爽
"How long can I talk before this motherfucker snaps?" "我要吵多久这逼样的才崩溃?"
They want you to shake the shit out of them till you hear the cops coming. 你没听到警察来之前 她最好你把她头都摇下来
"Motherfucker, I'm serious!" "草泥马 我说真的!"
"Oh, shit, let me get the fuck outta here." "我日 快逃"
That's right. And like I said, try your best to make her happy. 没错 按我说的 你要尽你所能 讨她开心
Try your best. But here's one thing nobody tells you. 尽你所能 但有一件是没人会跟你讲
You can't make a woman happy. 你是没法让一个女人开心的
It's impossible. 不可能的事情
I've never met a happy woman in my life. 我就没见过一个心满意足的女人
Women are always complaining about something. 她们总归有事情能逼逼的
Women like to complain, women save up shit to complain about. 她们就喜欢逼逼叨叨地 她们会把事情存到以后跟你逼逼
"He don't even know I know but I'm gonna get his ass on that shit next month." "他都不知道我知道了 我下个月再找他算账"
They like fucking complaining. They love it. 她们这喜欢逼逼啊 特喜欢
No matter what you do, she'll be mad. 不过你怎么做 她就是一个不爽
You can fuck a woman with a diamond dick and make her come ten times, 你拿一个钻石老二 让这逼高潮10次
she'll still complain. 她还能给你不满意
"Why'd you make me come so hard? " "干嘛一直叫我高潮? "
"This diamond dick is cloudy." "这钻石老二都不透了啊"
"Why didn't you go to Tiffany's? You're so fucking cheap." "怎么不给我买个Tiffany的? 真TM小器"
No matter what you do, your woman is mad at you. 不管你怎么做 她就是冲你不爽
If you work all the time, "Why you work all the time? You ain't never home." 如果你一直上班 "你怎么一直上班? 你都不在家里的喏"
"You always leavin' me. I hate this shit." "你总是躲着我 去你MD"
If you home all the time, "Why you all up under me? Let me get some fucking room to breathe." 要是你一直在家里 "你干嘛一直跟着我? 给我点空间行不行"
"Damn, stop sweatin' me. I hate this shit." "艹 别跟我爆粗口 去你MD"
If you make more money than her. "Fuck you. I wanna make decisions too." 你要是赚得比她多 "去你MD 我也要做决定"
"You ain't my fucking daddy, I don't need you to take care of me." "你又不是我爸 用不着你照顾我"
"I hate this shit." "去你MD"
If she makes more money than you, 如果她赚得比你多
"You broke motherfucker." "你个穷逼"
"You never have no fucking money. Fuck this shit." "你什么时候有过点钱了 妈的"
"I don't wanna make all these decisions. I need to be taken care of." "为什么总是我在做决定 我也要人照顾啊"
"I hate this shit. I can't take it." "去你MD 我受不了了"
And the number one reason your woman's always mad, fellas, 你女人永远逼逼叨叨个没完到底为什么
the number one reason your woman is pissed the fuck off... 为毛 她总你看你不爽...
cos you ain't her first choice. 因为你不是她的首选
Fellas, you ever catch your woman just looking at you 各位 你们老婆有没有愣愣地看着你
but not saying nothing? 却一个字也不说?
In her mind, she's thinking, "How did I end up with this ugly motherfucker? " 她脑子里就在想 "我怎么就摊上了这逼样的? "
"Oh, Lord, this motherfucker's ugly and stupid." "天哪 这逼样的又丑又二"
"I had a good man and I blew it." "以前一挺好的追我 我给人家发了好人卡"
"Damn, Lord, kill my man. Kill him, please." "上帝 快弄死我老公 弄死他 拜托了"
"Kill him while I still look good enough to get something new." "趁我还有点姿色 撩得到别的男人"
"Please kill this motherfucker now. Strike him! " "现在就弄死他 劈死他! "
"If you out there, Lord, strike this motherfucker dead." "上帝 如果你真在那儿 现在就劈死这逼样的"
Nothing gets you ready for marriage, man. 没东西能让你在结婚前准备好的
Nothing. Nobody. Nothing gets you ready for marriage. 没有任何东西 任何人 能让你做好步入婚姻的准备的
Nobody tells you that once you get married, you will never fuck again. 没人会告诉你 一旦结了婚 你就没机会做爱了
If you like fucking, marriage ain't for you. 你要喜欢做爱 婚姻不适合你
Shit, I haven't fucked in seven years. 艹 我TM都7年没做过爱了
I've had intercourse. 但我有性交哦
Intercourse is when she gets out of the shower on the nice sheets. 性交 是她洗完澡裹着浴巾出来
Fucking's in the back of a rental car 做爱 是在一辆租来的破车的后座上干啊
when your woman's going, "Come on, get some! " 那些你女人叫着 "快来上我啊! " 的时候
Nobody gets you ready for that shit. 你都没心理准备啊
Nobody tells you that once you get married, you will never get pussy again. 没人告诉你你一旦结了婚 你就别想再见着妹妹了
If you like pussy, marriage ain't for you. 你要喜欢妹妹 婚姻不适合你
I haven't had pussy in seven years. 我7年都没见过妹妹了啊
I've had vagina. 但我见着*道了
I hate vagina. 我讨厌那货
I came out of a vagina. 我就打那里出来的
As soon as I got out, I said, "Man, I got to get me some pussy." 我一出来就说 "喂 我得弄点妹妹"
See, they don't prepare you. They don't tell you married women don't have pussies. 所以没人和你说啊 没人告诉你结了婚的女人就没妹妹了
Married women have vaginas. 结了婚的女人只有*道
If you go to a wedding and the woman's throwing the bouquet, 如果你去参加婚礼 一个女人在抛那个花
she ain't throwing the bouquet, she's throwing the pussy. 她抛的哪是花啊 她抛的是她妹妹啊
"I won't be needin' this no more." "这个我以后用不着了嚎"
And the woman that catches it is gonna get married 接住她妹妹的那个女的就能结婚了
cos now she got two pussies. 因为她现在有俩妹妹了啊
You gotta marry the two-pussy girl. 那妞你一定得拿下
But it ain't just men that lose out on marriage. Women, you lose out too. 但婚姻里吃亏的不只是男人 女人们 你们也吃亏
Women, once you get married, he will never lick your pussy again. 各位 你一旦嫁给了他 他就再也不舔你妹妹了
Pussy, vagina, whatever the fuck you wanna call it. He will never lick it again. 妹妹 *道 随便你怎么叫 他就是不添了
I see some married women with tears in they eyes right now. 我看台下个别已婚妇女热泪盈眶了已经
He will never lick your pussy again. 他就是不舔了
Forever ever. "Forever ever? " Forever ever. 永远永远 "永永远远? " 永永远远
He will never lick your pussy again. 他就再也不舔你妹妹了
That's right. Don't get me wrong, 真的 但别误解
he'll give it one coat. 他会舔个一遍
But he ain't gonna put the finish on it like he used to. 但不会有以前舔得那么彻底了
He used to put a spit-shine on your pussy. 以前给你舔得那个亮啊
You had to put on shades just to look at your pussy. 你自己要往下看一眼都得戴墨镜啊
Put a little sticker next to your pussy... 给你那边上贴个标签...
"objects in pussy may appear closer than they actually are." "您看到的B间距离可能大于实际距离"
Nobody gets you ready for this shit. 措手不及啊
That's right, fellas, once you get married, no more blow jobs. 没错 各位 一旦你结婚了 没人给你吹箫了
If you like blow jobs, marriage ain't for you. 你要喜欢别人给你吹 婚姻不适合你
I haven't had a blow job in seven years. 我7年没享受过这个了啊
I've had fellatio. 但我有口交哦
When you're single, you get the best blow jobs in the world, 你没结婚的时候 这吹得那是世界第一啊
eight, 12, 15 minutes straight 一口气 8分钟 12分钟 一刻钟
like the girl's auditioning on your dick, like she's giving your dick a second opinion, 好像她在对着你老二试音啊 好像她在给你老二做二次检查啊
like she's going for her scuba license. 好像她在考她的潜水执照啊
You get married, every married man I know gets the same lazy-ass blow job. 你一结婚 每个结了婚的男人都只剩那敷衍了事的活了
It's like three licks, ahh, ahh, ahh. 这舔个三下 一 二 三
"Is it hard? Put it in. I gotta fold these clothes." "硬了没? 快进来 这点衣服我还没叠完呢"
What kind of lazy-ass blow job is this shit? 这吹的是哪门子箫啊我日?
If we was at a restaurant I would send it back. 饭店里要是端上来这种菜 我TM直接把它弹回厨房了啊
Waiter, this blow job ain't ready yet. 小二 这菜还没做到位啊
Yo, marriage is tough, man. Marriage is real fucking tough. 婚姻是艰苦的啊 真心艰苦
Marriage is so tough, Nelson Mandela got a divorce. 这能有多痛苦哦 纳尔逊·曼德拉离婚了
纳尔逊·曼德拉 南非前总统 诺贝尔和平奖获得者
Nelson Mandela got a fucking divorce. 纳尔逊·曼德拉都TM离婚了啊
推翻了南非白人种族主义统治统治
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison, 纳尔逊·曼德拉在一个南非监狱里待了27年
BEYOND乐队曾写下著名的"光辉岁月" 向其致敬
got beaten and tortured every day for 27 years, 27年 每天挨打受折磨
and did it with no fucking problems. 他也撑下来了
Made to do hard labor in 100-degree South African heat 被逼顶着南非38度的高温做苦力
for 27 years, and did it with no problems. 27年 撑下来了
He got out of jail, after 27 years of torture, 27年的折磨之后 从监狱出来
spent six months with his wife and said, 和他老婆待了半年 他就
"I can't take this shit no more! " "这活儿我干不了了啊! "
Hey, I'm outta here. Y'all take care. 好 我走人了 大家保重
Thank you! Thank you! 谢谢! 谢谢大家!
--==圣城家园SCG字幕组==-- http://hd.cnscg.com/ 谢谢观赏
协调：single_single
翻译：少亭 小婧子 潇妹纸 13711 Nefertarii Leon single_single
校对：甜蜜的向往 Uriana single_single
Best show ever. It was hilarious. 最棒的一场 太逗了
Once you get married, life is over. 你结了婚 你就玩完儿了
No more blow jobs! I'm telling you, don't get married. 不会有吹箫咯! 告诉你 别结婚
I'll come and see him again. 我还会再来看他的节目的
My dimples hurt, I laughed so hard. See? 我酒窝都笑僵掉了 看到没?
I just pissed on myself. 我都尿裤子了
What a great show! 这场太棒了!
That was great. I really enjoyed it, it was wonderful. Great show. 无可挑剔 我超享受 太棒了 这场棒极了