He's on the way, Mack.
- I'll drop him right in your lap. - We're all set up.
Alex, everything by the book. No stunts and no wrecks today, all right?
Oh, shit!
It's little things I'm trying to get used to.
Like, if I drop my napkin out in a restaurant, Alex gives me his.
Car door needs opening, he opens it. My neighbor's abusive? He yells at 'em.
The other night, we were watching a video, he let me pick it out.
D-Do you want to slowly merge into...
- Signal first!
Too late. OK.
- That's good. - All right.
My last boyfriend wasn't the romantic type.
Two years ago, for my birthday, he gives me pepper spray.
I think it's perfume. I end up in the emergency room.
Relationships based on extreme circumstances never work out.
Right.
- Right? - No!
Watch the glass!
Your boyfriend drive like this?
Oh, Alex? No. No, no, no. Alex is so completely different.
He works... he works beach patrol. He spends all day on a bicycle in Venice.
Shit.
I'm sure he's on the beach right now.
That's how we met, by the way. I was jaywalking.
Jaywalking, huh?
Well, jaywalking is a crime.
Yeah, but I needed to get across and at the point...
Dip!
Ow.
Another dip!
Oh! Aagh!
Two dips.
- It's our seven-month anniversary tonight.
Neither of us has ever dated longer.
Why don't you slow down...
..and tell me your problem, huh? Good.
Uh, make a left here.
Uh, turn, signal! Easy!
Shit!
Miss, pull over to the side, please.
Move over to the side, please!
- Side. - I can't! There's a cliff!
On my command!
Shit!
Hold your fire, he's too far! Everybody in the car!
You're under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent.
Ow. That hurt.
Pull over to the side.
- I can't! - Stop right here.
This is absolutely not my fault, Mr Kenter. I need my licence back.
Oh, my God.
What? What?
Stop! Stop!
You'll never drive in this town again.
Alex?
Annie.
What... What happened? What...?
- How'd the driving test go? - Oh, it, uh...
Not good. Not good.
Um, why aren't you... at the beach?
You know, it's funny. There's this...
..perfectly...
- ..reasonable explanation... - You're a madman, Shaw!
Nice working with you, as always.
They've apprehended one of the suspects,...
..thanks mainly to SWAT member Alex Shaw,...
..who was the officer injured in today's chase.
- You lied to me. - I didn't lie about...
You never said you were on the suicide squad.
You knew I was a cop. I said that I was...
Wait.
Oh, come on. Ow.
When I told you about Jack and how he was always getting hurt,...
..and how I would never date anybody like that again,...
..you didn't think, "Maybe I should tell her what I do for a living"?
Exactly. And blow it?
- When were you gonna tell me ? - Well, today.
Oh, today?
Yeah, today was the day.
You know what I pictured you doing in Venice? I pictured you...
..busting teenage pickpockets,...
..walking old women across the street, drinking lemonade.
I do fill in for a friend at the beach occasionally.
And I often, often enjoy a nice glass of lemonade.
You know what? I feel I don't even know you.
I don't know who you are any more. I don't understand.
We got to spend some time together, then we'll get to know each other.
- Let's go away together. - OK, where?
The Caribbean.
Oh, the Caribbean. Do you have a concussion?
We work six days a week, Alex.
We've never even been away for a... a weekend.
I was going to surprise you tonight, but, uh...
It's a cruise.
This is so unfair, Alex.
You can't pull out tickets to some exotic island...
..and think that'll make everything OK.
I don't expect that I can make it all right, but, maybe I thought we could.
No. Don't do that.
I wanna be depressed. I don't want you to do that.
Don't!
All right, all right.
- Don't. - I won't.
Welcome to the Seabourn Legend.
Thank you. Welcome.
Oh, now, this is a cute couple.
How about a picture? Don't move!
- What are your names? - Annie and Alex.
My name's Dante.
- A big smile for the newlyweds? -Actually, we're not newlyweds.
Only $34.50 for a double set of mugs, and if you don't like them, you get a photo credit.
Welcome to paradise, and the name's Dante!
This ship has five passenger decks,...
..A, B, C, D, E.
You're on deck C.
There's a swimming pool, a health spa, a beauty salon, a casino...
Hey. Excuse me.
Sir?
I'm a little upset. My golf clubs - have you found them?
Yes. They're downstairs in storage and I'll bring them up...
..as soon as I get this lovely couple to their cabin.
These are the coordinates for the first leg, Captain.
Thank you.
Thruster is in.
- All engines on stand-by. - Let's take her out, then.
Welcome to your suite.
Believe me, you'll be sorry to leave room 6088, your happy and humble home.
If you need anything, you just call Ashton.
And let me thank you both in advance for the generous gratuity...
..l know you'll be leaving me at the end of this cruise.
- Just kidding. - But not really.
Oh. And, you two, have a nice honeymoon.
Oh, we're... we're not...
..not married.
Thank you.
- Big enough for you? - Size doesn't matter. You know that.
Yes!
All of a sudden, I have Love Boat fever.
It feels really good.
I am really excited about being on a cruise ship.
I don't know why.
Maybe they pump drugs through the air-conditioning system.
What do you think?
You know what I need? Lots of those yummy little drinks...
..with those highly impractical umbrellas in 'em.
That is what I need.
Yeah, you're looking good.
So, who's ready to party on the big boat besides me?
You look tense.
Tense? No. We're here to relax.
- Let's get a drink. - Let's go.
We're going to have a really good time.
Yeah!
Love it!
Thank you.
See you later. Bye.
So, what do you want to do?
Do you want to shuffleboard, then room or... room, then shuffleboard?
Or hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm?
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Room, room.
OK.
If it's all right with your new boyfriend over there. Romeo.
His name's Geiger.
- Oh? - Yes. Yes, we talked.
Not very interested in golf for someone who had a fit about his clubs.
- Why do you say that? - Well,...
..the tournament's on behind him. He hasn't even glanced at the TV.
You're absolutely right. I think we need to arrest him. Excuse me!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aw, honey, you just wanted a hug.
You're so sweet.
I got to ask you to do me a favour,...
..something I've never asked you to do before.
What's that?
- I need you to boogie with me. - Oh, no, I don't boogie.
Just run in place. Run in place.
- Do you feel it? - Yeah, I think so.
Come on, baby.
Wake up, boys.
See, the misconception is that fat is bad.
In order to lose fat, you shouldn't eat fat.
Well, guess what, guys?
False. Your body's just a giant computer.
Mm. See, if you don't eat fat,...
..your body's mainframe goes, whoa!
Whoa!
Better keep whatever fat I've got.
So you see, we at Fatbusters...
..well, we say fat is your friend.
Oh, yeah, a good friend, yeah.
I could use a good friend.
Yeah? Here, meet this guy.
- Mmm. - Good.
There you go.
Ladies and gentlemen,...
..l have a question.
Who here would like a peek...
..at a multimillion-dollar jewellery collection?
OK. On board, we have the Diamond Jewellers Of America with us tonight.
They would like to show you something.
Maybe we should get you a little something.
I'll take a Camel unfiltered.
Aren't you wearing the nicotine patch?
The only way that patch is gonna help me...
..is if I roll it and smoke it.
Good evening.
Big diamond.
Don't bunny-hop.
That's impressive.
I wanted to learn another language.
Her name is Drew.
She wants to know if you're my sister.
Oh.
Let her down easy.
She says you're very beautiful and...
..our kids will be very beautiful.
Thank you.
Uh, can you picture me as a mum?
I think you'd make a beautiful mother.
Just, uh, don't drive the carpool.
Jeez. Kids... I don't know.
What, kids aren't on the menu?
Uh, kids are on the menu.
It just depends on who's ordering.
- I love it. It's beautiful. - You're beautiful.
That'll make a great picture. Hold on. Let me get this one.
- Look. - Look.
So, can I order ?la carte?
I don't know if you're sittin' in my section.
I requested this table.
Are you a good tipper?
Hmm. Depends on the service.
It's always service with a smile for you.
How about at every meal?
You getting serious right now?
Well,...
- Yeah, l... - Wow.
I mean,...
..wow.
I just, you know, the other day,...
..l just found out I'm dating a daredevil,...
..so this is like, you know...
Oh, you're not serious.
You're not.
- Hello? - Annie?
What?
I'm, uh, I'm a little seasick.
Huh? OK.
Let's go.
I'll get the main valve!
- Thank you. - You're welcome, sir.
I'm sorry, sir. You can't be here right now.
I must be lost.
I saw the lights, thought this was the casino.
Uh, sir, please don't touch those!
Sure could use a drink.
Any of you gambling men?
- Uh! - Sir!
Help the gentleman up, please.
OK, sir, come on.
Let's get him up.
Sir, may we assist you to help find your cabin?
Oh, no. I know where it is.
I... I know when I'm not wanted.
You guys just...
..watch where you're going.
We'll do just that.
Goodnight, sir.
Listen, let's get you back to your room.
Goodnight.
Satellite looks good, sir.
We should have smooth sailing for the rest of the night.
OK, switch us back to autopilot.
Switching over now, sir.
That's right.
Switch us over.
You never let me have any fun.
No fun? You have all the fun in the world.
We have fun together, don't we?
Whenever you want something, I buy it for you automatically.
I take you to concerts, museums, movies.
I do all the housework.
Who does the tidying up? I do.
Who does the cooking? I do.
You and I, we have lots of fun.
Don't we, Lolita?
Come here.
Time for group therapy, boys.
Oh. I wouldn't trade you...
..for all the doctors in the world.
Mmm...
..you take care of me,...
..I'll take care of the ship.
Mm!
Alex?
Annie, Annie.
I've been looking all over the ship for you.
Maybe you should have looked in bed, where you left me.
You looked so beautiful, I didn't, uh...
..want to wake you up.
Yeah, beautiful woman in bed, naked -
..you had to leave. I get that.
So where were you?
- Skeet shooting. - Skeet shooting?
You went skeet shooting, but you couldn't...
Is that our song?
..take one day not to go shooting?
I wish they'd play that over and over again.
I need a little fresh air...
..after an evening tied as one of the most embarrassing of my adult life.
Oh... if you want me to be honest,...
..l kind of like the fact that you got sick.
Well,...
..don't quite know how to respond to that.
Well, all I'm saying is that I just like taking care of you, that's all.
And what I said when you were joking about that kid thing...
..for a second, I thought you were completely serious.
I thought you were actually gonna ask, you know...
..and last night, when you were basically blacked out,...
..l was like, he's a cop, and...
..you don't even know his cop number.
My badge number?
Badge number, see?
I don't even know what it's called.
What does my badge number have to do with anything?
Well, the point is... is that if you look at it,...
..we basically don't... don't even know each other.
And...
Um...
To get that serious and...
..to make that kind of commitment, I mean,...
..it's probably the last thing that,...
..that we both need right now, right?
Yeah.
Attention.
If you would like to reserve water-skis,...
..paddle boats, jetskis, or wave runners for use...
..while we're docked at one of our upcoming ports...
Did you feel we were underdressed last night?
What's this?
Excuse me. I do believe I had the Do Not Disturb sign on the door.
Actually, it was Make Up Room, Please.
Maybe... maybe you flipped the card.
Maybe I flipped the card.
Let's not split hairs.
Captain on the bridge.
What's wrong, Merced?
I'm late for my guests.
Uh, yeah, I can't explain it, sir.
We're four degrees off course.
Well, switch us back to manual, then.
We tried, sir. The autopilot won't go down.
Well, try again.
I did. I sent an engineer to check the mainframe.
It's all normal.
I sent Eric to run a mainframe diagnostic.
Everything seems normal.
Human error.
Must be human error.
Keep an eye on it.
Yes, sir.
They were out of size 10s.
You know, I told them size didn't matter, but, uh...
..they wouldn't give them to me.
- One more thing. - What?
I'd like to boogie with you.
We're still four degrees off course.
Did you check the mainframe, Eric?
Captain Pollard, good evening.
How can you be running the ship...
..if you're not on the bridge?
Who is running the ship?
Oh, yeah. I am.
What is this? Who are you?
I spent a great many years developing computer systems...
..for these cruise liners, including this baby.
And then I got pushed away!
What are you talking about?
That's what really infuriates me.
You don't even know what I'm talking about.
How dare you!
Traditionally speaking,...
..isn't it true the captain goes down with the ship?
Aagh!
- I got one more. Stand right here. - Oh, OK.
- This is good. - OK.
Captain, sweetheart, would you mind taking a picture with my sister and me?
No. Not at all.
Get in the middle.
Right here. OK.
Say Dallas.
Dallas.
- Ooh! - Ooh!
Nice tropical shower.
Water's gonna be beautiful tonight, ladies.
Good evening.
No, I'm sorry.
Without a jacket,...
..that dress is not appropriate.
Daddy's right.
I like this dress, and it's fine.
No, no, no.
You look like a clown.
No, I don't.
Well, she's fine.
Let her go.
She'll be back.
Ready,...
..now.
What the hell is going on?
I don't know, sir.
Where's the chief engineer?
This almost seems too perfect, doesn't it?
Want me to step on your feet?
You already did.
Oh. I meant again.
Hurry.
You know, I left you alone this morning because I needed to be alone to think.
Yeah.
See, the one thing that's got me through everything in my life,...
..the one thing I could always trust,...
..has been my instinct.
It has never been more certain than it is now.
Really?
Yeah.
What are you saying?
What I'm saying is, uh...
..l think that we should...
Oh, man, no. No, no, no, no.
Come on, keep dancing. Keep dancing. Come on.
Hold up. Hold on.
Jesus Christ! The main pumps are off!
She ain't pumping out!
Shut down engines three and four!
Get out of here!
Sir!
Look, they're not gonna hold.
Sir.
- Find the captain, will you? - Yes, sir.
Harvey, it's an earthquake!
It can't be! We're at sea!
Aagh!
Ooh! Oh!
Look out!
Watch it!
No!
This is my vacation! Damn it!
I had nothing to do with this.
It's not working!
It's all right, it's all right.
It's over. It's over.
Ladies and gentleman,...
..I'm Liza, your cruise director.
Uh, this is only a minor incident.
Everything will be back to normal in a few moments.
Why do I really not believe her right now?
Terminal malfunction, structural trauma.
Take a look at these monitors.
We're losing power all over the ship.
I want all emergency teams in position.
Get the coastguard on the line.
I don't care!
Put me onto engine control!
It's dead.
Try the low frequencies.
The signal's gone. I've got nothing.
Engine three's down, sir. Can we do anything?
Try and run a link to the engine room.
Joe, issue hand-held radios to all the crew.
And, please, somebody find the captain!
Keep trying.
The system's not responding.
- Yes? - Mr Juliano.
Looks like the Seabourn Legend isn't fairing too well.
I advise you to start the evacuation procedure.
Who is this?
Someone you should start listening to.
I want you to sound the alarm immediately.
Time is running out.
I can't do that. Only the captain can.
The captain is dead, Mr Juliano,...
..which means you're now responsible for the people on this ship.
Don't waste time radioing the coastguard or code in an SOS.
I've cut off all outside communication.
You don't understand. Maritime regulations state that...
Mr Juliano, you are in command of this vessel.
The authority is yours.
I'll make it easy on you, Mr Juliano.
I'd like you to look at the emergency fire display.
Look at the portside,...
..C deck, section 686 on your display.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
My God.
Oops.
See what you made me do?
OK, just wait a minute. Please.
And now the forward section on the A deck...
..on both sides of the bow thrusters.
Also look at deck sections 187 and 188.
Sir?
All the fires are contained by fire doors, which I control...
..and will open if necessary.
I've positioned charges throughout the ship...
..and will set them off without hesitation.
Sir, I think you should push the button.
How am I supposed to abandon the ship while it's moving?
The ship will stop in exactly three minutes.
I give you 15 minutes to evacuate.
Now sound the alarm...
..or I'll burn her down.
Sir, I really think you should push the button.
Attention. Attention, please.
This is the First Officer.
All passengers and crew, proceed to the muster deck.
The Seabourn Legend is to be immediately evacuated.
This is not a drill.
I repeat, this is not a drill.
Abandon ship for this?
Does that make any sense?
Let's go. Come on.
Everyone through the rear door!
- We've got to find Drew. - We'll find her, sweetheart.
- She can't hear this! - I know. We'll find her.
No. No, Frank.
No, I have a feeling about this. Come on.
Outside, to the muster deck.
Let's go. Follow me.
Yes, please keep moving.
- Sulphur. - What?
- You smell sulphur? - What do you mean?
Sulphur out of that vent.
I swear I am never leaving the house again.
Calmly go immediately to the lifeboat stations.
All hands evacuate.
Engineers and electricians,...
..abandon your posts...
..and assist passengers at your lifeboat assignment.
This way, ladies and gentlemen!
Please hurry! Please hurry!
Everybody, hang on!
Go!
Hey, no!
No! The doors!
Let me out!
This door won't open!
Let me in there!
Come on.
This way. Quickly.
Ask him, Rupert, ask him!
Look, I've got to speak to someone in charge!
He's loading the lifeboats.
You're gonna miss them if we don't hurry.
Mum!
Ugh!
Oh, God.
Push away from the ship!
You know what? I wanna chase something down.
What are you doing?
It seems odd.
They're abandoning ship in the middle of night.
I'll be right back. Go. Follow the crew.
Uh, no. Alex!
Follow the crew. I'll be right back.
No! Jeez!
Watch your step, ma'am.
Please, please stay seated.
Sorry. Sorry.
Watch your step!
This way!
Huh?
Christ. He's locked us out.
Sir, get yourself to a lifeboat!
Take it easy, man. I'm LAPD.
What? You're what?
What is that?
Have any of these fires been confirmed?
We're loading the lifeboats, sir.
Do you need more confirmation than that?
Yeah.
Last boat! Everybody goes right now!
Everybody, into the boat!
That way, folks! Quickly!
Come on, come on.
Drew.
Help us, somebody!
Drew wasn't in the room.
Celeste, we have looked everywhere!
You guys, she's probably on another lifeboat.
But we can't leave without her!
Come on.
I'm sure she's fine.
Come on, let's go! Let's go!
Celeste, there isn't time. Drew's gotten on another boat.
Who's the officer?
I wanna see my sister!
Go, go, go, go!
Alex, come on! It's the last boat!
Come on, sir, we gotta move!
Move it! Quickly!
- Did you find Drew? - She's not on the boat.
Did someone run a count?
She's probably on another boat, sir.
Now, just get on, OK?
About these fires. Something's strange.
Your board's lit up. This is sulphur-based smoke.
- It makes no sense. - Alex, come on.
I can only lower the boat when the ship isn't moving.
I've got no time left,...
..and I don't know what this guy is capable of!
What guy? What guy?!
We're on our way.
Oh, my God! The boat is moving!
What is happening?
Annie, jump!
We have to bring it back up!
Hold on to the rails!
Ensign, what's going on?
The winch must be jammed!
We gotta stop the ship!
I don't have any control! Now get out of the way!
What..? What...?
What are you doing?
That cable will never hold,...
..and we've got to get them out.
What do you mean, we? Alex?
- OK. - You got it?
Be careful.
I'll be right back.
OK.
What the hell is he doing?!
He said he'd be right back!
We better get that end back up!
If it hits the water on that angle,...
..it'll collapse!
Don't move!
Please!
Please pull us up!
We're trying.
Stay calm and keep the weight balanced.
We'll bring you up one by one.
She's still there!
I know she's still on the ship!
Celeste, where are you going?!
No, no, no! Don't climb out!
Don't... Don't move!
It'll fall!
Oh.
Throw me a rope! I need to attach...
Oh, sweetheart, it's not your fault.
OK. Oh, here. OK.
Watch out!
Now, get the rope! Grab the rope!
I'll get it!
Careful!
I got the rope!
Tie it up to the hull!
Pull the slack!
Be careful!
OK!
Whoa! Whoa! Aah!
Whoa! Whoa!
Hold on! Pull them up!
Whoa!
Aagh!
Help!
Alex! Alex!
Dante!
Help! Help!
Oh! Help!
Help!
Come on.
Pull me up, please! Pull!
Alex! God. Yes, you are nuts.
- Come on. Pull me up. - I got you.
Please pull!
Get another line!
Quickly! Get another line!
There has to be something else!
The gangplank! Get the gangplank!
Alex. Alex, Alex.
Hi, uh...
Get everybody on here if you can.
OK.
OK. Thanks, man.
Thank you. OK, thanks.
OK.
Thank you.
That's the last one, sir.
Officer, it's Merced.
- Yes?
We have a situation on the bridge.
I bet we do!
Keep everybody together, Rudy.
I'll be on the bridge.
Stay with the passengers.
It's the radar.
First I thought this was a heavy fog bank, but it's not moving.
Saint Martin.
Well, there is a harbour on Saint Martin.
He must be stopping us on the island.
What's the heading?
It is full at southeast 165.
You think that's where he's taking us?
You think that's the harbour?
He's taking us to the cliffs next to the harbour.
He's gonna slam us into a wall.
How long before we hit?
Sir, get back with the other passengers.
How much time have we got?
I'm the first officer on this ship, OK,...
..and you're...
You've lost control of autopilot, so there's got to be a hard wire link.
Yes, that's exactly right, sir.
But he's running it all by remote, and there's nothing you can do.
We gotta find the transmitter.
So how's he transmitting the fires?!
The fires don't exist. They're not real.
Smoke canisters. Stun grenades.
Probably put them in the air ducts.
They're small.
They roll,...
..like...
..these.
Golf balls.
Golf balls, golf balls.
Geiger. Let's go get him right now.
Get his cabin number. We'll get him. I'll get him.
We're locked out.
Where are the skeet guns?
Right here.
- Ow.
Aagh!
Why's everyone trying to kill me?!
What happened? Are you OK?
Ow. Ow.
Stay down, stay down.
You're OK.
I can't override it. He's changed all the access codes.
We have a very sick boy.
Exactly.
Do you think I'd be doing this, if I still had my health?
It ends now.
I know who you are.
I know you, too.
You look a little wet.
You see, Alex,...
..l designed this whole autopilot system.
My company sold it off to almost every shipping line in the world,...
..but when I got sick, they fired me.
I had no defence. They just threw me away.
But now I have a more aggressive defence system.
Tell me, Alex,...
..did you ever have a false sense of security?
Aagh!
Everybody, to the deck!
Go! Go! Go!
Nothing's secure, Alex.
That was odd.
You call that odd? What kind of cop are you?
You're gonna get us all killed!
No, that's his plan.
Where's engine control?
What? Engine control?
We're gonna stop the ship, then we're gonna get him.
I want you on the upper deck with the other passengers!
Fine! I'll find it on my own!
Merced, go with him!
Sir, he's highly irrational.
You're an officer on this ship.
Now, make sure he doesn't touch a thing!
Ashton, you OK? Come on, get up.
Keep it moving.
Annie. They won't organize a search,...
..but I know Drew didn't get away.
She's got to be here somewhere!
- They'll find her. - Just keep it moving.
This way!
Hello, miss. This way.
Dante, stop it. Do you hear that? Listen.
Yeah, I hear something coming from down there.
Where? Show me. Come on.
- Harder!
Can anybody hear?! Hello!
Alejandro, I don't like this.
I really don't like this.
It's coming from down here somewhere.
Anyone!
Hello!
Is anybody in there?!
Yes!
Yes, we're trapped!
Get us the hell out of here!
We're trying!
Is there a little girl in there? Drew?
No! Just big women!
Excuse me!
I mean, normal-sized women! Come on, get us out of here!
Oh, my God, there's smoke coming out of the vent!
Everybody get back!
It's coming out everywhere!
Ow. We're trying.
Try to block the vent!
Don't worry. We'll get you out!
What are you doing?
They told us to block the vents.
She's right.
I'll help you, lady.
Alejandro, qu?pasa?
This smoke's gonna kill us off.
Everybody just hang on!
We'll get you out in a second!
Help me, Harvey!
I'm trying to save your life!
Just hang on!
OK. What is this?
Try that.
- This... this won't work. - Just try it. I'll find something else.
I told you this won't work!
It's coming out everywhere. Harv, give me your pants!
My pants?! No-one else is taking off their pants.
I took off mine.
Why hasn't she taken anything off yet?
Cos I'm not wearing any underwear, Harvey.
Oh.
I can't breathe.
Come on, hurry up!
Come on!
What do we have?
Yeah, this'll do.
This will do.
Did you try to close the fuel tanks manually?
Yeah, but he's sealed off all access to engine room four.
Which of these controls the autopilot?
I don't know. I'm the navigator.
I'm not familiar with this equipment.
Oh, you're not familiar?
I see.
Are you, uh...
..familiar with this?
Sir, this is Merced in engine control!
He's smashing up all the equipment!
Do you copy?
Which of these is not hooked up to the computer?
There's plenty not hooked up to the computer...
..but nothing that overrides his programme.
Then we have to fool his programme.
We cannot stop the ship.
I wanna slow it down.
What you gonna do now?
You gonna let the air out of our tyres?
- What are these switches? - Don't you touch them!
They open the ballast doors! You wanna flood the ship?!
Sir, this is Merced! Does anybody copy?
Hello? Somebody answer me!
We're gonna flood the ship like you said.
What are you talking about?
Might slow her down.
Right, you shut up! You shut your mouth!
I never said that!
If we take on too much water,...
..we'll all go down.
Sir! Somebody answer me!
Listen...
Flood it.
It's not working!
Will you hurry up?!
Wait. Dante, I think I've got something.
Whoa.
Everybody, back off!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
Yeah, we found the key.
What?
OK, OK.
Kick. Can you kick it?
Look out!
- Aagh!
Can you get out?
Can you guys get out?
If you'll back off with the saw.
What?!
If you'll back off with the saw, we'll give it a try!
Oh, sorry! I'm sorry. Sorry.
How much longer?
I've never let a million gallons of water into a ship before.
Give me a second.
I've got three watertight doors to close...
..and I've got to shut off these sensors as well.
Where's this?
That's the ballast room.
That's right underneath us.
That's what we're flooding.
All right, watertight doors are closed.
Ballast doors should open any minute.
Shit!
Close it! Close it!
You just told me to open them!
Follow me.
I can't close it just like that.
Don't let go of me!
Hold on! Hold on!
I'll... I'll hold on.
You OK?
You're gonna be fine.
Hmm. Huh?
In case anything happens...
..to us,...
..you want me to know that...
..you... you...
..love me...
..and that you're gonna be 15 next month.
Relationships based on extreme circumstances,...
..they rarely work out.
This way, everybody!
What's going on? Why has the evacuation stopped?
Stopped? We didn't even start.
Are we sinking? Are we gonna die?
- The important thing is to stay calm. - You don't even work here!
I've been in worse situations than this and panicking does not help.
We have our life vests. We can jump off the ship.
You'd get sucked into the propellers.
Yeah, that would suck.
Alex.
Oh, my God. Drew.
Where you been, huh?
- Is she OK? - We'll find your mum.
She all right?
Yeah.
Come on, sweetheart.
You OK?
Yeah, I'm fine. What's happening?
Why did the ship start up again?
Why... why did you leave me upstairs?
We have a situation.
I know we have a situation. What?
Geiger's taken over the ship.
Geiger. I'm-not-looking-at-my-golf-game Geiger?
No, Geiger I'm-a-computer-psycho, Geiger l-designed-all-the-software,...
..and Geiger l-can-blow-up-everything.
- Why would he do that? - I don't know.
- Where is he? - He's everywhere. Come up here.
That's him.
What?
Go up to the top deck with everyone.
You stay. You stay, and you wait.
Hey, you don't have to save this ship.
Freeze!
Drop the weapon.
Don't shoot.
It's not a gun, it's just a computer.
Drop it, asshole.
Where's your friend Annie?
She's cute.
It would be a shame if anything happened to her.
Hit the floor now!
I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm putting it down now...
..real slow.
The irony of my situation, Alex,...
..is that dedication to job...
..and devotion to the company...
..was repaid with a terminal illness.
You see, computers generate electromagnetic fields...
..which, over time,...
..can cause severe copper poisoning.
I'm a smart guy, Alex,...
..and even I didn't know that.
I would have really appreciated...
..some understanding from upper management.
OK, is everybody OK?
We're fine.
But, no. They dropped me.
They treated me like I never existed.
Where are you going?
I'll go find him.
Hang on. Wait!
Now, I just gotta do whatever I can...
..to get whatever I can get.
You're not gonna stop me.
This time it's goodbye for good, Alex.
How you gonna stop me now, my friend?
Damn it.
Damn.
Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I've heard that music before.
They pipe it in all over the ship.
No, no, no. I've heard this music before.
Ship-shopping music. He's in the mall.
There's a fire in there.
Well, don't worry.
The flames can't get past the fire doors.
Alex.
Alex, Alex.
Don't touch that!
OK, um, I need a... I need a...
I need my saw.
Alex! Alex!
Alex! Oh, God.
Don't touch anything. Don't touch anything!
I know where to release the fire doors.
Don't open the door. It's a trap.
There's something in the door.
Baby, we can't get in to you.
There's something in the door.
What does it look like?
Wait. What does is look like?
OK, it's green,...
..like a spray deodorant can.
I don't know. Can't think.
OK. It's a grenade.
What?
There's a number on it.
There should be a number on it.
Uh, OK, yeah. It's um... L-1619...
..uh... Magnum.
- Is the pin out? - What?
Is the pin out?!
No, the pin's still in, but it's attached to a wire.
Yeah.
Tie the spoon to the grenade.
Spoon? What?
With a string.
Oh, baby, don't say grenade.
OK. A string.
Uh...
..your shoelace! Come on.
I got it.
That's it.
OK, all right.
OK.
OK, be real careful.
All right. Here it goes.
Uh...
..you gotta hurry up.
- OK, OK.
Got it. Got it.
Got it. What now?
Pull the pin out...
..and remove the grenade.
Um, uh...
You pull out the pin,...
..and I will pull out the grenade.
OK. Counting. One,...
..two...
..three.
- Whoa! - Aagh!
Where is it?
Where is it? Where is it?!
It's in your hand.
Huh?! Take it out. Take it out!
Take it out. Take it out. Got it? Take it.
I got it.
OK, got it?
Alex!
Uh, you can open the door now.
OK.
No.
Here's some more dry towels.
Thank you.
I am so sorry I yelled at you.
That's OK, Dad.
I'm OK.
OK.
Where's Alex?
"Where's Alex?"
Come over here.
Just sit down. Don't talk. Don't move.
- I'm OK. - You're not OK.
Stop saying that, all right?
Are you OK?
I don't think so.
What?
He's adjusting starboard.
What does that mean?
Does that mean right, left, round the island?
No. Right into the island.
We're moving again.
He's turning us half a degree starboard.
Come on, guys. We're getting closer.
OK, I'm cutting the serial port connection.
Anything?
No, we're still locked out.
Come on.
Hey, we're moving.
We have control again.
No, we're still dead here.
Are you sure, sir, because we're turning.
It's him.
It's him, it's him.
He's onboard. Geiger's still onboard.
Guys, maybe these people can help.
Hand me those.
Right there.
He's taking us right into an oil tanker.
What?
You're right.
She's anchored 16 miles out,...
..and we are doing 17.8 knots.
Well, how long till they move?
From starting their engines, 30 minutes.
They won't get out of our way in time.
So, what... what... what does that mean?
Oh, man!
Uh, he's turning us another quarter.
Agh! Damn it.
Can we turn the ship without the rudder?
The bow thrusters would do it.
We can't get there now.
You guys flooded the access.
We also messed up his programme, sir.
No, you almost sunk us.
Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
Let's take a wrench and dump it into the engine...
..and bust the transmission like a car,...
..cos I've done that.
With all due respect, this is not your car.
This is a cruise liner.
She's right. It's a propeller.
We got to stop the propeller.
You could wedge something into it...
..like a... a steel cable.
This is not my suggestion, obviously.
Great idea. I'll go under the ship.
No, you won't.
No, you won't. That's not what I meant.
That's a stupid idea.
No, it's a great idea.
No.
It's suicide. These blades are 12 feet across.
They'll suck you in and kill you.
Hey. Hey, Dino, I got one for you.
OK, who played the German captain...
..in The Enemy Below?
Curt Jurgens.
Down the next stairwell on the left,...
..straight to the bowels of the ship.
Bowels. That doesn't sound very good.
How much time left?
Not very much. We better hurry.
Mayday, Mayday.
This is Seabourn Legend...
..bearing 80 degrees east-northeast.
Engine and steering control nonfunctional.
I repeat. Nonfunctional.
Where are we going?
Eindhoven Lion.
Eindhoven Lion, come in.
This is Seabourn Legend.
Eindhoven Lion, come in.
Eindhoven Lion, this is Seabourn Legend.
Come in, Eindhoven Lion.
This is the only way out.
This all the diving gear?
Yeah.
OK, here it goes.
Huh?
You think that ship's gonna rescue us?
What else could it be?
Alex, maybe this isn't such a hot idea.
Maybe you should just leave the propeller alone, huh?
We have to stop the ship.
There's not much time left.
Are you sure this is gonna hold?
Yeah. We use those lines all over the ship.
He's not going all over the ship.
He's going under the ship, all right?
Annie, Annie. It's OK. It'll hold.
Hold on. Let me lock it.
All right.
Hey.
Annie.
What?
4296...
..589J.
I don't know what that is. What is that?
It's my badge number.
It's 4296589J.
Thank you.
I'll be right back.
Here's the guideline.
Feed it into the propeller, and it will pull the heavy cable in.
Not too much slack.
OK, OK, OK. I've got him.
He's getting too close.
OK, OK, he's close enough.
Stop it now.
Come on, baby. Let it go.
Let it go.
It's taking the cable. It's working. It's working!
Well, then let's get him up then, huh?
- Come on. - Pull him back up.
It's stuck.
He's snagged.
The lines are crossed. We have to bring him up.
Come on. Now. Do something!
It's sucking him in.
We gotta get him out of there!
18.
Come on, baby.
17.5.
They're doing it.
They're slowing us down.
Oh, no, you don't.
We gotta get him up.
Come on, come on. Keep pulling.
Pull.
Pull him up.
Keep pulling.
What the hell's happening?
It's stuck again!
Get him up! Get him up!
It's not gonna hold.
Oh! Won't go any faster.
Won't go any faster!
Watch out!
Get back! Aagh!
- I think I broke my arm. - Alex! Alex!
Alex.
Come on. Hold on.
We've got him now.
Are you all right?
What happened?
I don't know, something just...
Let him go.
You slowed her down,...
..but you're not gonna stop her.
Annie, I don't think your boyfriend appreciates the logistics involved...
..in ramming the most automated ship in the world...
..into a loaded fuel tanker with no set anchor path.
Let her go.
Maybe you can spend the rest of your days in a mental hospital...
..sticking leeches to your ass.
Oh, so you met my nurses.
They clean the copper out of my blood.
Doctors gave me a couple of years to live!
Those bloodsuckers might give me a few more.
You walk away now...
..and there's a chance I might not kill you.
Listen to you.
Let him go.
Now!
Go ahead.
Uh-uh.
Now!
Go ahead.
Oh.
Oh!
Mr Juliano,...
..we'll be getting off.
I hope you don't mind,...
..but I'll be taking Annie with me...
..as a little extra insurance.
You know the one-armed freestyle, don't you?
Hey! Come on, or you'll join them!
This way.
Hold on, hold on.
I can't believe they can't see us.
How can they miss us?
I can't get her on the radio!
She's not responding.
She's closing in at 14 knots,...
..bearing 166.4.
She's heading straight into us.
Get the anchors up now!
Yes, sir!
Which way did they go?
The marina. He's going to jump ship.
You all right?
I'm OK.
Hurry up!
Get moving!
Get off of me! Get off of me!
Very physical, aren't we?
OK,...
..that way.
Down the stairs.
Hold it!
We're going for a little ride.
Come on.
Can't let you go now. You're my little hostage.
Come on!
Don't touch me!
Get down. Get down!
All right.
That's it.
So...
..aw.
How do you like your vacation so far?
Sit down!
Ow.
You better hang on.
Annie!
Alex? Alex!
Need a hand?
Hold on. I got you.
I don't think you want to be on that ship now, Annie.
Aagh!
You know your way around the ship?
Yeah.
You're OK?
What happened?
Alex, can you hear me?
I don't like this at all.
Oh, my God.
Jeez, we're coming in too fast!
How could this happen on our honeymoon?
Wait a minute.
Oh, my God. Why don't we stop?
Why don't we stop?
Everyone, move away from the windows!
Away from the windows!
Brace yourself for the crash.
How long before we have power?
Seven or eight minutes, sir.
In eight minutes we'll be blown out of the water!
Speed the engines full power.
Prepare for hard forward turn.
Alex, if you can hear me, use the ship's intercom.
Left, Alex, go to the left.
Alex, can you hear me?
If you can hear me, use the ship's intercom.
I can hear you.
We're running out of time.
All right, look.
Which way to the bow thrusters?
You flooded it. There's no way to get there.
I can get there.
Just talk me through it.
OK. The bow thrusters are two large wheels connected by a small shaft.
You can find them at the end of the shaft below the bilge pump room.
The bilge pump room.
Do you copy?
Yeah, copy that.
Look, stay with us.
You talk us through it, I'll follow your voice.
OK, you're in section BT-1.
At the end of the hallway is a hatch.
That'll bring you into the bilge pump room.
Hatch. Hatch.
It's at the same level as where you are, so there must be some air.
Have you got it?
You're going to have to lose the vest.
What do you mean, lose my vest?
We're going under.
Damn, man.
Let's get the hell out of here!
Move away from the railing!
Harvey, wait for me!
Come on, over against the wall!
What's going on?
At the far side is a short slide.
That will lead into the bow thruster room.
Alex, can you hear me?
We're getting very close.
The bow thrusters, they're two large wheels...
..connected to a shaft...
..that will turn the propeller.
Now, when you find the wheel,...
..turn it as fast you can.
Hold on, hold on.
You only turn one wheel at a time.
If you turn them both, you'll cancel yourself out.
Make sure you turn the starboard wheel only.
OK, look.
We have to play tag.
I'll go down first.
You follow me in 15 seconds.
All right.
They're turning us. Sir, they're turning us.
Yes.
Yes, it's working.
No, no, no, no.
Make it stop.
Oh, my God! Everybody down!
We're going to crash!
Oh, God!
Aagh!
I think we did it!
We turned it!
Get down!
Aagh!
Whoa!
I do believe we have a miss!
Impossible! No!
No!
They did it.
Oh!
Oh, we made it.
Oh, Jack.
Yes. Yes.
I sure hope somebody got that on tape.
Yeah.
Oh!
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit.
Aw, shit.
Mum.
Hey!
We got to get out of here.
Yeah, no kidding. Come on.
Come on!
Come on, hurry up! They're coming right at us!
Come on! Faster than that!
We have right of way here!
Sorry! Excuse us!
No way!
That was close!
To the bridge!
Where's anchor control?
We got to stop her.
What? Anchor control?
We can't drop it. We're moving too fast.
Did you see Annie?
No.
I got it! I got it.
No. No anchor can stop a moving ship.
It's moving. It's going down.
I can feel it. We're slowing down.
No. Too fast. It's not going to hold.
Harvey!
Get in the corner! Brace yourselves!
Oh, my God! We're doomed!
We're not going to stop! We're not going to stop!
Drop the other one.
I'm telling you. We're still too fast.
It's stuck.
- God, no. No.
Where's the horn? Where's the horn?
How can there not be a horn?
There's got to be a horn here somewhere.
Where's he going?
Oh, shit!
What you doing with the wheel?
Huh?
It doesn't work!
What?
Jan, hold this a sec.
Allez! Allez!
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Aagh!
I can't believe it.
This is slowing us down.
Nine knots.
Jeez!
Oh, man! Let's go!
Huh?
This isn't happening.
Oh, no. No more. Not again.
I found it! I found it! I found it!
Everybody get out of the way! There's a big boat coming!
Please!
Now!
Run! Jump!
Swim!
Come on, people, move out of the way!
We don't have brakes!
This is not a dream!
Jump!
Abandon your ship!
Oh, my God! We're mowing them down!
Stop!
it... it's helping.
Seven knots.
Turn right! Turn right!
Look out!
Whoa!
Shit!
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Two bedrooms, dining room, kitchen, nook.
Mummy, there's a big boat.
I know. There are a lot of big boats here, honey.
What a cute boy...
..and smart of you to notice all the ships.
The walls are a soft European eggshell...
God, it'll take forever to stop us.
Harvey?
Quick!
We're not going to fit! It's too tight!
Get down!
Aagh!
Six knots!
Aagh!
Oooh!
What? What? I can't hear you.
Aagh!
It's coming.
Five knots!
Ooh!
Four...
..aagh!
Stop!
Here it comes now!
It's really big, Mum.
Oh, my God!
Get down!
Aagh!
Two knots!
Almost stopped!
Oh, no!
Get down!
Zero.
Aagh! Aagh! Ooh.
My car!
I got to find Annie.
Shit! She's going over!
We're tipping!
Ow.
We're docked.
We're docked!
I can't believe it!
We're safe.
Zero.
Say what?
Bad luck to run ship over town.
No shit, bad luck, man.
I just bought a condo here.
My God.
You all right?
Yeah. I think I broke my other arm.
The ship's parked in the middle of town,...
..but, hey, it could've been worse.
I'm not sure how, but it could've been worse.
I got to get my girl.
Thank you.
Uh!
Sorry.
Be careful.
I'll go check on the others.
Looks like your vacation is almost over.
Just stay away from me, or you're going to get hurt,...
..l swear to God.
What are you going to do, Annie?
Splash water on me?
I'm driving now.
Hey, Annie! Hey!
Annie!
Come back! You stay with me!
You're my hostage!
I need a boat!
Can I help you?
I'm a cop. I need to borrow your boat.
What? You've got to be kidding me.
This is joke, right? You're messing with my head.
Come on, man, you gotta be kidding me!
Can't you see I'm on a date?
Alex Shaw, LAPD. Start the boat.
LAPD? I'm in the Caribbean, man.
What are you doing here?
Stop him, Maurice.
Know how many hours of therapy I've had because of you guys?
And that shit's expensive!
You drive.
Hey, hey, where are you going?
No!
Hey! Annie!
OK, OK, take it easy, man!
This boat cost me $150,000.
That way.
OK. That's it!
I want a promissory note right now!
Whoa!
Give it!
Let go of me!
Ow!
Do we have a fiery temper?
You have no idea!
There she is.
Look! Fireworks!
It's her.
What?
That way, fast.
Nah, I can't drive that fast!
There's shallow reefs! Shit!
Get as close to that plane as you can.
Give me one good reason.
If you don't, I'll throw you over.
OK.
That's a good reason.
Almost at speed!
Don't! Don't you...
Ow! Let me go!
I think you better stay with me.
Get closer!
What?
Let me go!
You want to go? I'll let you go...
..at about 10,000 feet!
Get me closer!
Huh?
He's going to shoot the plane!
Nice shot.
Let's see if he can hold on now!
Follow me!
Let go!
He... he's supposed to let go.
Let go!
No, no, he's reeling himself in!
Follow him! Follow him!
Oh, you little shit.
Here we go!
No!
No, don't!
No!
Come here!
Oh, God.
Alex! Alex!
Annie!
- Hi. - Hi.
Hi.
Come on.
Now hold on!
Aagh!
What's he riding that banana peel for?
What's he doing?
Aagh!
Abandon ship.
All the crewmembers,...
..abandon ship immediately.
It's gonna blow, it's gonna blow!
Jump, fool! Get off that thing!
Jump!
Hope they can hold their breath a long time.
Come on, don't run out of air.
Me not see 'em. Me think they dead.
They're not gone.
There they are! There they are!
Hey, over here!
Hey, this way!
Here, come on. I got you. Come on.
Come on, hurry up.
Hurry up, come on. It's gonna blow.
Hurry up, it's gonna blow.
Aagh!
Untie 'em, untie 'em.
You're all right.
- You OK? - Yeah.
I was just so scared. I was so scared.
I didn't think I was gonna make it there for a second.
Thank you.
Look what I found in international waters.
This really is paradise.
I got something for you.
Oh.
Wow.
You want to wear this for a while?
How long were you thinking?
50 years.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Can I make all the travel plans from now on?
Deal.
Hello.
Mr Kenter.
Oh, Annie.
- Uh... Oh, you're back again. - Yeah.
Hope you don't mind.
I kind of requested you.
I wanted to make up for last week.
Why would I mind?
Gosh, uh... I'm sure it'll go much better today.
Oh, yeah, it will.
- Had some problems. - Nervous, yeah, a little bit.
OK, Mr Kenter, here we go.
Sorry, but that bus was going way too fast.
I noticed that. Uh, make a left here.
Got it. Excuse me.
Thank you, thank you.