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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us♪
♪ Laugh and cry♪
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
♪ Family Guy 10x11 ♪ The Blind Side 盲点
有同名的小说及电影
中文字幕:wudixny 校对:zurica 注释:wudixny 后期:wudixny 压制:wudixny @familyguy贴吧字幕组
Stewie 你在干啥呢 Stewie, what are you doing?
噢 打打太极 Oh, just doing a little tai chi.
你知道为啥亚洲人60岁前都看着像30岁似的 You know how the Asians look 30 until they're 60?
这就是原因 This is why.
当然 之后他们突然看着就像100岁了 Of course, then they suddenly look 100,
不过到时候再说吧 管他呢 but cross that bridge, you know?
这是日本的玩意儿? Is this a Japanese thing?
不 中国的 No, Chinese.
日本人热衷的完全是别的事 The Japanese have a whole other thing going on.
嘿 想看电影不? Hey, you want to see a movie?
不 我们是日本人 我们去看学生妹搞章鱼吧 No, we're Japanese, let's watch a schoolgirl bang an octopus.
耶 Yeah!
吸盘感觉真舒服 Suction cup feel good!
当然锻炼最重要的就是 And of course the most important part of any workout
可以让你适当的冷静并伸展全身 is a proper cool down and a stretch.
什么? 怎么了? What? What is it?
我被木刺扎到了 I got a splinter!
Stewie 怎么啦? Oh, my God, Stewie, what is it?!
哦 他刚被木刺扎到了 Oh, he's just got a splinter.
噢 我的小可怜 Oh, my poor baby.
都怪这些快散架的旧楼梯 It's 'cause these old stairs are just falling apart.
不光是楼梯 It's not just the stairs.
Meg已经被压在房梁下面两天了 Meg has spent two days pinned under a roof beam.
我们还是专注于楼梯吧 Brian Let's just focus on the stairs, Brian.
早上好 Opie Morning, Opie.
嘿 怎么回事? 你要走了? Hey, what's going on? You going somewhere?
你被开除了? 为什么? You got fired? Why?!
哦 对了 难怪 Oh, well, it's no wonder
他们终于抓到你在这干那事了 they finally caught you doing that in here.
我是说 你桌子的下面 I mean, the underside of your desk
看起来像卡尔斯巴德洞穴 looks like Carlsbad Caverns.
位于美新墨西哥州 是世界自然遗产
Griffin 跟顶替Opie职位的Stella打个招呼吧 Griffin, say hello to Opie's replacement, Stella.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
这…这要干嘛? W-What is this?
我们采要用一种新暗号来握手吗? We doing a new secret handshake now?
不 Griffin 她是个聋人 No, Griffin, she's deaf.
噢 那她能看懂唇语吗? Oh. Can she read lips?
是的 Yes, I can.
那如果我这么做 就可以说她有一对漂亮的奶子了吗? So if I do this, I can talk about what a sweet rack she has?
是的 但别做出抓奶龙爪手的动作 Yes, but try not to make a boob-honking gesture
当你这么说的时候 with your other hand while you're saying it.
抱歉 没事儿 Sorry. It's okay.
我习惯了人们 I'm used to people being
初次见到我时会有点不适应 a little uncomfortable with me at first.
如果你有什么问题 尽管问 If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
嗯 我确实有问题 Yeah, actually, I do.
因为你听不见你的其他感官是不是更灵敏? Are your other senses better on account of you can't hear?
比如说 我屁还没放出来的时候你就能闻到了? Like, can you smell my farts before they even come out?
因为我现在正有屁意呢 'Cause I got one in the pocket right now,
而且我想知道我是否需要感到难为情 and I want to know if I need to feel self-conscious about it.
我也闻不到呢 I can't smell it, no.
但我也许能看见 I might be able to see it, though.
不少人放屁时都有点小动作 A lot of people make small movements when they fart.
他们会跳眼皮之类的 They twitch their eye or something.
噢 你是说细节流露 对吧? Oh, like subtle giveaways, huh?
好吧 那如果你看到的话就告诉我 All right, well, t-tell me if you can see when it happens.
你刚放屁了 You just farted.
上帝 你竟然看到了? Oh, my God, you saw that?!
你能看到我所有微小的动作? You can see all my tiny, subtle movements?
你又放了 You just did it again.
哈 这下我就开心了 Well, this is gonna be a delight!
我不明白为啥Lois总说 I don't know why Lois always said
她和女同事合不来 she had problems with female coworkers.
所以Abby Elaine和Janet一起享用她们的小团体午餐 So Abby, Elaine and Janet have their little lunch clique,
当然我又没被邀请 and of course I'm not invited.
感觉你什么都做了 Seems like you're doing everything
但她们屁事也没干 and they're doing nothing.
呃 我不知道 但我知道的是 Well, I don't know, but what I do know is
- 在员工会议上 - 嗯 - that in the staff meeting, - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Christina说我的存储系统不可行 Christina said my inventory system wasn't feasible.
显然你对她构成了威胁 She's obviously threatened by you.
但当销售部助理经理回到房间里时… But when the associate sales manager came back in the room...
真不要脸 我百分之百支持你 It's ridiculous, and I support you fully.
她又跟他说了那个创意 好像是她自己想出来似的… ...she told him the idea as if it was hers...
你不能让她们占了你的便宜 You can't let them get to you.
她们嫉妒你的才能 They're jealous of what you have.
你是无辜的 都是她们的错 It's nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.
只有你才能预防森林火灾 Only you can prevent forest fires.
嘿 Peter 你准备好去醉蚌酒吧了吗? Hey, Peter, you ready to go to the Clam?
哇 这辣妹是谁? Whoa, who's the hot chick?
噢 那是Stella Oh, that's Stella.
你不用这么小声 她是聋的 You don't have to whisper; she's deaf.
真的? Really?
上帝 这太火辣了 Oh, my God, that's hot.
我不知道你对聋妹子也有意思 I didn't know you had a thing for deaf chicks.
各种残疾妞 Peter Any kind of disabled chick, Peter.
他们会对你做 They can do things to you
那种普通小妞想都不会想的事 that regular chicks don't even think of.
而且 你懂我的 Besides, you know me.
我爱各种新奇的玩意儿 I'm into a lot of different stuff.
什么 你听到什么了吗? What, did you hear something?
不 一切都好 No, it's all good.
好吧 All right.
Chris 给你一个友善的提议 You know, Chris, a little friendly advice.
呃 你不久也要开始约会了 Uh, you're gonna start dating soon;
也许你应该养成 probably good to get in the habit
闭嘴咀嚼的好习惯 of chewing with your mouth closed.
没有妨碍到我 我只是…友情提示而已 Doesn't bother me, I'm just-- you know, one friend to another.
哟 怎么着 你看我不爽了? Oh, what, you got a problem with me?
你觉得我很恶心? You think I'm gross?
别这么做 别这么做 Don't do that. Don't do that.
嗯 你就是这幅德行 这才是爷们我 Yeah. This is what you are and this is what I am.
Peter 赶紧的 Peter, hurry up!
你不吃晚饭了是吧 You're missing dinner.
Lois 搞毛啊 Lois, what the hell?!
上帝 Peter 你还好吗? Oh, my God, Peter, are you okay?!
这楼梯到底怎么回事? What the hell happened to the stairs?!
现在都变成光滑的了 They're all slippery now!
我上次换掉了 记得不? I had them replaced, remember?
旧的太粗糙不平了 然后Stewie被木刺扎到了 The old ones were so rough, and Stewie got that splinter,
所以我想换种木料是最佳方法 so I thought replacing the wood was the best way to go.
你啥时候换的? When'd you do that?!
前几天 你那时候一直待在药店里 The other day, when you spent all that time at the drugstore.
噢 对 Oh, yeah.
弄不清那个说西班牙语的女士 Couldn't figure out if that Hispanic lady
是不是导购员 worked there or not.
呃… 打扰下 Um... excuse me.
打扰下 Excuse me.
哇 我想知道这儿的香波放在哪里 Boy, I wonder where the shampoos are around here.
我说 "我想知道这儿的香波放在哪里" I said, "I wonder where the shampoos are around here."
上帝啊 我差点以为 Oh, for God's sake, I almost thought
你是个正常人了 you were a regular person.
香波在哪? Where's the shampoo?!
搞毛呀? What the hell?
残疾妹纸之夜
嘿 伙计们 派对在这呢 Hey, guys, all the action's over here!
Quagmire 这是怎么回事? Quagmire, what is all this?
Peter的新同事给了我灵感 Peter's new coworker gave me an idea.
欢迎来到残疾妹纸之夜 Welcome to Disabled Ladies Night.
我的假肢是用柚木做的 Mine are made from teak.
你的是什么材料? What are yours made from?
哦 我的其实是压制板包了木皮 Yeah, mine are actually just pressboard with wood veneer.
我不能沾水 I can't get wet.
哦 我好像看见我朋友了 Oh. I think I see my friends.
嘿 呃 你们继续享受这狂欢节 Hey, uh, you guys enjoy the carnival.
我要去吧台上喝一杯 I'm gonna get a drink at the bar.
嘿 呃 这里有人吗? Hey, uh, anyone sitting here?
没 请便 No, go ahead.
谢谢 Thanks.
嘿 想不想抽空出去走走? Hey, would you like to go out sometime?
哇 这太快了吧 Wow, that was fast.
嗯 我忘记在哪儿看过 女人会在 Yeah, well, you know, I read somewhere that women decide
见到你的7秒中决定是否对你有意思 within the first seven seconds if they're interested in you
所以我认为还是不要浪费别人的时间 or not, so I figured I wouldn't waste anybody's time.
有道理 Fair enough.
好 我们约会吧 Sure, let's go out.
- 真的? - 嗯 - Really? - Yeah.
就像你说的 我已经决定了 Like you said, I've already decided.
我是Kate I'm Kate.
我是Brian I'm Brian.
嘿 呃 你想到外面走走么 Hey, uh, you want to go outside?
也许会更安静些 Maybe a little quieter.
好 Sure.
上帝啊 我… Oh, my God, I...
嘿 看看Brian和那个瞎妞 Hey, check out Brian with the blind chick.
嘿 别担心 Brian Hey, don't worry, Brian,
你仍旧比Quagmire干得好多了 you're still doing better than Quagmire.
他钓上个钩子女(妓女) He got a hooker.
哈 Ha!
不不不 她也是个妓女 No, no, but she is a prostitute.
听着 我们可以做点别的事如果你想的话 Listen, you know, we can do something else if you want.
为什么? 我现在就挺开心的 Why? I'm having a good time.
呃 我是说 我只是不知道 Well, I mean, I just don't know
一个盲人去看电影会有多少乐趣 how much fun it is for a blind person to go to the movies.
Brian 盲人一直去看电影的 Brian, blind people go to the movies all the time.
我们听就行了 We just listen.
我可能是盲的 但我的大脑已被训练成 I might be blind, but my brain has been trained to listen
可以听出任何电影 并知道屏幕上正在放什么 to any movie and know exactly what's happening on screen.
比如说 我很喜欢《泰坦尼克》 Like, I loved Titanic.
我就是世界之王 I'm the king of the world!
那么你确定不用我陪你进去? So you sure you don't need me to come in?
也许带你到床边 Maybe show you to your bed.
我肯定能找到路 谢谢 Pretty sure I can find it, thanks.
但也许下次我会有困难 Maybe next time I'll have trouble, though.
你可以那个时候再来帮我 You might have to help me find it next time.
这么说还有下次了 So there's a next time.
当然 Definitely.
太好了 Great.
那么好吧 晚安 Well, all right, good night.
呃 我那傻逼邻居的狗一天到晚叫唤 Ugh! Our stupid neighbor's dog barks 24/7.
天 我就讨厌狗 God, I hate dogs.
你…你真的吗? Y-You do?
是啊 它们就是些满口流涎 讨人厌 贫穷的小杂种们 Yeah, they're just slobbery, annoying, needy little bastards.
我觉得自己不是一个爱狗人士 I'm just not really a dog person, I guess.
噢 呃 是呀 我也不是 Oh. Uh, yeah, me neither.
爱狗的人有时是十分讨厌的 Dog people can get pretty annoying.
哇 你的公寓真不错 Wow, this is a nice apartment you have.
这是你的狗么? Is this your dog?
是的 他是不是最可爱的小萌物呢? Yes. Isn't he the cutest little cutie wutie?
看他多可爱呀 Look how cute he is.
恩 他非常萌 Yes, he's very cute.
恩 他很萌 Yes, he's cute.
是呀 他很Q QQQ Yes, he's cute, cute, cute, cute.
看看他呀 看看他 看看他 Look at him. Look at him. Look at him.
够了 Okay.
看着它 看着它的脸 快点 Look at it! Look at that face! Come on!
看着它的脸 你给我看他 Look at that face! You look at him!
看那张B脸 Look at that (bleep) face!
嘿 伙计们 这快把我搞疯了 PETER: Hey, guys, this is driving me nuts.
小矮人中是不是有个叫小时髦的? Was one of the dwarves named Snappy?
七个小矮人分别叫Doc万事通 Bashful害羞鬼 Sleepy瞌睡虫 Sneezy喷嚏精 Happy开心果 Dopey糊涂蛋 Grumpy爱生气
就是穿着很漂亮的? Kind of well dressed?
或者这是我想出来的? Or am I-I just making that up?
上帝啊 爸 Oh, my God, Dad!
老爸 你还好吗? Dad, are you okay?!
妈的 我恨这新楼梯 Damn it, I hate these new stairs!
嗯 我还好 Yeah, I'm fine.
我只会…我只是准备 I'll just-- I'm-I'm just gonna
躺在这儿直到我不疼了为止 lie here until the pain goes away.
你们在看什么? What are you guys watching?
播音员：请继续收看第一部具备了 ANNOUNCER: We now return to the first time travel movie
完美功能的时间机器的穿越电影 with a perfectly functioning time machine.
好了 如果我没错的话 All right, if I'm correct,
它应该能让我们回到公元前6百万年 this should land us in six million B.C.
快 带我们离开这儿 Quick! Get us out of here!
啊 真是惊险呀 Boy, that was close.
上帝 Frank哪去了? Oh, my God, where's Frank?!
我在这儿呢 I'm over here.
噢 好 Oh, okay.
Brian 如果我要参加滑轮大赛 Brian, if I ever take up roller derby,
我该取个啥名? what do you think my name should be?
叫"挫逼安东尼" "肥猪流艾丽西亚" 还是叫"圆丑婆"? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze or Quahag?
轮滑德比的确实选手多是丑女⊙﹏⊙b
"万人骑奥斯卡拉"怎么样? How about Harlot O'Scara?
啊 你太贱了 真TM有才 Aw, you dick, that's genius.
你的约会怎么样了? How'd your date go?
啊 挺好的 我们过得很愉快 Aw, went great. We had an awesome time.
她很聪明也很风趣 She's really smart, really funny.
- 可爱不? - 当然 事实上很火辣 - Cute? - Yeah, hot, actually.
我不知道她是怎么办到的 I don't know how she does it,
但作为一个盲女她穿的很有品 but she dresses really well for a blind girl.
我是说 就像 她的胴体就像 I mean, like, her body is just...
喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 喔 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
怎么 What?
不要问我"怎么" Don't "what" me.
你刚说了她是个瞎子 You just said she's blind.
你自己刚说的 You just said it.
你完全是在避重就轻 You totally buried the lead.
是啊 但是 这不是重点 Yeah, well, it's not that important.
她看不见又怎样? So what if she can't see?
她其他方面非常出色 She's amazing in every other way.
好吧 如果你这么说的话 Okay, if you say so.
嘿 她是不是真的有那种一塌糊涂 诡异的眼睛? Hey, does she have really weird, messed-up eyes?
不是 她眼睛正常得很 No, her eyes are normal.
事实上它们很美 They're beautiful, actually.
我敢打赌肯定不是 Bet they're not.
- 我打赌它们看起像乳白色的球 - 闭嘴 - Bet they look like bowls of milk. - Shut up.
你确定她不只是在利用你? You sure she isn't just using you?
导盲犬可贵着呢 Seeing-eye dogs are expensive;
她也许想弄条免费的 she may just be trying to get one for free.
不 事实上她不想要导盲犬 No, actually, she doesn't want a seeing-eye dog.
她讨厌狗 She hates dogs.
什么? What?
她不喜欢狗 She doesn't like dogs.
她只是不爱狗罢了 She's just not a dog person.
什么? 那她知道你是只狗不? What? Does she not know you're a dog?
这真是无稽之谈啊 How is that possible?
呃 我们还没做过什么 Well, we-we haven't done anything yet.
所以我…我只要 我只要避免碰到她 So I'm-I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna avoid touching her
得先过一段时间再说 until a little more time has passed.
然后当我告诉她时 我已经深深的打动她了 And by the time I tell her, I'll have impressed her so much
那样狗的问题就无所谓了 that the dog thing won't even matter.
好吧 那么祝你好运 Yeah, well, good luck with that.
知道么 我喜欢你的意淫 Brian You know, I like your delusion, Brian.
大部分人会说"我输了 我放弃" Most people would say, "I lost, I give up,"
但是你 你真是锲而不舍 but you, you just keep trying.
你就像多米尼加共和国 You're like the Dominican Republic.
不停的杀掉掌权的人然后说 Always killing the guy in charge and saying,
"哦 这个新来的 这个新来的会带我们走上正轨的" "Oh, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right."
但是 那只是因为我有信心 Well, that's just because I have confidence
我会找到我的幸福的 that I'll find happiness.
嘿 万事皆有可能 对吧? Hey, anything's possible, right?
我是说 我有次发现了蝙蝠洞 I mean, I once found the Batcave.
听着 你可不能指望雇60个工人 Look, you can't expect to hire 60 workers
来在你家下面挖个洞 然后还替你保密 to dig a cave under your house and then keep it a secret.
我是说 那些人是住在这镇上的 I mean, those men live in this town.
是 但我告诉他们这是地质调查的一部分 Yeah, but I told them it was part of a geological survey.
蝙蝠侠 蝙蝠侠 Batman, Batman.
他们为你的核动力车造了个旋转托盘 They built a lazy Susan for your nuclear car.
那才是他们认为值得说道的地方 That's something they consider conversation-worthy.
天哪 这周真是棒极了 Brian Gosh, this has been an amazing week, Brian.
我任然不敢相信你打倒了 I still can't believe you beat up
那个想抢我们的家伙 that guy who tried to mug us.
晚餐真不错 That was a great dinner.
是啊 我真心喜欢你推荐的三文鱼 Yeah, I really liked that salmon you recommended.
是的先生 有什么我能帮你的 Yes. May I help you gentlemen?
"嘿 你们可到了镇上治安最差的地方 "Hey, you're in a tough part of town.
现在把你的钱包给我 娃娃脸" Now, give me your purse, doll face."
嘿 把你的手拿开 Hey, you get your hands off that!
我可不管你们这有多少人 I don't care how many of you there are--
我绝不会让你们抢走这钱包的 you're not taking this purse!
"啊 我们可抢不走 干他 伙计们" "Ah, the hell we aren't. Let's get him, boys!"
- Brian? - 呆在那别动 Kate - Brian? - Stay right there, Kate.
我来处理 I'll handle this.
嗯 你喜欢这样是吧? Yeah, you like that, huh?
"噢 这小子是个硬茬" "Ooh! This guy's tough!"
"不公平 他会空手道 "No fair. He knows karate.
通常 高富帅的拳脚功夫都不太好" Usually, handsome guys ain't so good with their fists."
离我女友远点 And stay away from my girlfriend.
Brian 我也会空手道 Brian, I know karate, too.
我能帮你 I can help you.
"你可别想插手 女士" "You stay out of this, lady!"
我搞定一个了 我想我搞定一个了 I got one! I think I got one!
是的 是的 但我…我搞定了另外4个 Yeah, yeah, but I-I got the other four.
他们…他们现在走了 They're-they're gone now.
他们走了 They're gone.
他们抢走了我为你准备的礼物 Well, they took the gift I had for you,
但至少你没事 but at least you're okay.
还有那次去埃菲尔铁塔的旅行 And that trip to the Eiffel Tower
也很棒 was just amazing.
我们快到顶了么? Are we almost at the top?
嗯 再走几步就是了 Yeah, just a few more steps.
我们到了 Here we are.
阿 这就是巴黎的风 Ah, the winds of Paris.
是不是就像他们说的那样? Isn't that what they say?
噢 这微风太宜人了 Oh, that breeze is gorgeous.
还有 我想我闻到了…羊角面包? And I think I smell... croissants?
真的? Do you?
你的嗅觉真是太灵敏了 You have an amazing sense of smell.
噢 那个来了 Oh, there it is.
- 那是什么? - 噢 没什么 There's what? Oh, nothing.
只是 呃 固特异飞艇 Just the, uh, Goodyear blimp.
上面用闪亮的灯光写着"我爱你 Kate" It says, "I love you, Kate," all in lights.
在巴黎? Here in Paris?
对 是…是为温布尔顿网球场或者别的什么东西弄的 Yeah, it's... it's here for Wimbledon or something.
上帝啊 Oh, my God.
这是所有人对我 That's the most romantic thing
做过的最浪漫的事了 anybody's ever done for me.
那么 你得习惯了 Well, get used to it.
你会听到一堆 You're going to be hearing a lot of things
我为你做的事情 I've done for you.
现在我们回到《真爱如血》 ANNOUNCER:We now return to True Blood.
HBO重口味吸血鬼剧
嗨 我是个裸体吸血鬼 Hi. I'm a nude vampire.
嗨 我是个裸体狼人 Hi. I'm a nude werewolf.
这就是我们的节目 And that's the show!
Peter 下楼来 Peter, come downstairs.
你喜欢的那个基佬秀开始了 That gay show you like is on.
来啦 PETER:Coming!
妈的 Damn it!
上帝啊 Peter 你还好吗? Oh, my God, Peter. Are you okay?
不 我一点也不好 No, I am not okay!
这一点也不好 Nothing about this is okay!
你只是需要更小心些 You just need to be more careful
当你下楼的时候 就是这样 coming down the stairs. That's all.
站着说话不腰疼 Easy for you to say.
这让我紧张的屎都出来了 This is stressing the crap out of me.
就像我们用的那个容易被吓到的墙纸时一样 Like when we had that easily startled wallpaper.
啊 Aah!
很晚了呢 Well, it's getting late.
我想我也许该走了 I should probably go.
Brian 这好像是我们第六约会了 Brian, this is like our sixth date.
我开始感觉好像你不是 I'm beginning to feel like you're not
对我特别有感觉之类的 attracted to me or something.
不 我… 上帝 我是… No, I... Oh, my God, I'm...
我超喜欢你的 我… I'm so attracted to you. I...
那为什么我们什么也没做过? So why haven't we done anything about it?
我…我只是…你知道 有时候 I-I just... you know, sometimes
有些事需要循序渐进 taking things slower is better.
你可以随便问哪个树懒 Just ask any sloth.
嘿 有时做事是越慢越好么? MALE VOICE: Hey, is sometimes taking things slower better?
对 Yeah.
我只是…我很中意你 而且我… I just... I like you a lot, and I...
我不想毁了这一切 I don't want to ruin anything
就因为行动的太快 懂吗? by moving too fast, you know?
因为有时候 当你… 'Cause sometimes, when you...
Brian 你从未说过你有胡子 Brian, you never told me you had a beard.
我爱胡子 I love beards.
噢 好 Oh. Yeah.
不 嘿 我脸上还留了胡子 No, hey, I'm bearding it up over here.
嘿 Brian 如果让你见我父母的话你应该没关系吧? Hey, Brian, would you be cool with meeting my parents?
他们这周末会在城里 They're in town this weekend,
然后我想我们应该一起吃顿饭 and I thought we could all have dinner.
额…没问题 Uh... sure.
他们…他们自己开车来么? Are they... are they driving themselves?
如果你是问他们看不看得见的话 是的 If you're asking if they can see, yes.
而且既然你能看到… And since you can see...
你为什么不告诉我它们长的怎么样? why don't you tell me how these look?
呃…它们看起来美极了 Uh... they look pretty damn great.
那你为什么不告诉我它们感觉起来如何? Then why don't you tell me how they feel?
呃 下次 Uh, next time.
有些东西是值得等待的 Some things are worth waiting for.
哇 你真是坐怀不乱啊 Wow. You're really a true gentleman.
是啊 这种人已经没几个了 Yep, not too many of us left.
Stewie 我需要你的帮助 Stewie, I need your help.
什么? 怎么了? What? What is it?
我现在有个棘手的事 I have a crisis situation here.
Kate想让我见她的父母 Kate wants me to meet her parents.
大家好 Hey, guys.
就是来…来拿个这个的 Just gonna... gonna take this.
谢谢 Thank you.
我他妹的怎么办啊? What the hell am I going to do?
好了 好了 冷静点 All right, all right, just calm down.
冷静? Calm down?
我们明晚都要一起吃饭了 We're all supposed to have dinner tomorrow night,
然后她父母会看到我是条狗 and her parents are going to see that I'm a dog.
别担心 Brian Don't worry, Brian.
我会想出办法来的 I'll come up with something.
记住 我就是那个设计出 Remember, I'm the guy who came up
电影《艳舞女郎》中舞蹈的家伙 with the choreography to Showgirls.
♪♪
好了 停下 停 停 Okay, stop. Stop. Stop.
Elizabeth 亲爱的 手势太多了 臀部的动作还不够 Elizabeth, darling, too much hands, not enough hips.
Elizabeth Berkley 美女演员
我来先给你示范下吧 Can I just show you?
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four.
我是用我的小MM来舞动全身 I'm dancing from my vagina.
一 二 三 四 One, two, three, four.
我在上下扭动 我在上下扭动 I'm grinding, I'm grinding.
高潮的眼神 高潮的眼神 Orgasm eyes, orgasm eyes.
结束搞定 And we're done.
你如果能做到刚才的20% 我们的电影就成了 You do 20% that, and we got a movie.
Peter 你这是在干吗? Peter, what is all this?
噢 嗨 Lois Oh, hi, Lois.
我现在在楼上生活了 I live upstairs now.
- 什么 - 没错 - What? - That's right.
我用自己的旧内裤做了个窝 I made a nest of my old underwears
可以用孵我的蛋 on which to lay my eggs,
然后我要在这间房里独自抚育后代 and I shall raise my young in this room alone.
Peter 你真是个白痴 Peter, you're being an idiot.
噢 是么? Oh, really?
一个白痴会有能力把 Would an idiot have been able
这些索具一个一个连起来吗? to rig this rig to that rig?
Peter 这啥都不是 Peter, that's nothing.
噢 是吗? Oh, is it?
我死了 我死了 I died! I died!
噢 嗨 你肯定是Kate Oh, hi. You must be Kate.
我是Brian的护士 I'm Brian's nurse.
他刚出了点小事故 很抱歉 He's had a little accident, I'm afraid.
上帝啊 Brian 你还好吗? Oh, my God, Brian! Are you okay?
啊 别担心 我还好 Ah, don't worry. I'm fine.
我现在只是绑了点绷带 I'm just sort of bandaged up right now.
你们肯定是Kate的父母 You must be Kate's parents.
很高兴见到你们 It's so nice to meet you.
我们也很高兴见到你 Well, it's lovely to meet you, too.
到底发生了什么? So what happened?
发生的事就是他成了英雄 就是这样 What happened is this one's a hero, is what happened.
从一幢着火的的大楼里救了2个孩子 Rescued two children from a burning building.
你能想象吗? Can you imagine?
不是很及时… 他们都被烧的不成人样 Not quite in time-- they were both horribly burned.
现在都变成了那种焦糖布丁脸 Have that sort of crème brûlée face going on now,
但他救了他们 but he saved their lives.
上帝啊 Brian Oh, my, Brian.
我也是这么想的 不是么? 真是高尚 I know, right? So noble.
而且他是唯一 Plus he's the only one of my patients
不要求我帮他撸管的人 to never ask me for hand work.
真是个绅士 Such a gentleman.
甚至在我给他洗泡泡浴时 Never even tried anything
他也什么都没干 when I'm giving him a sponge bath.
我是个很仔细的人 And I'm very thorough.
我会清洗腹部 I will wash the abdominals.
不是所有的护士会这么做 但我会 Not all nurses do, but I do.
而且是的 有时我会盯着那东西 And yes, sometimes I graze it,
但你知道么? but you know what?
我是个专业保健人员 I'm a healthcare professional.
我就是干这行的 这就是我的工作 It's what I do. It's my work.
这对我很重要啊 It's important to me,
而且他也尊重这一点 and this one respects that.
所以我非常感激 And I'm very grateful.
再问一次 为什么你会来这儿? Why are you here again?
上帝啊 我非常 非常抱歉 Oh, my God! I am so, so sorry.
呃 没关系 不要担心 Uh, it's no problem. Don't worry about it.
那是什么味道? What's that smell?
这闻起来有落水狗的气味 It smells like wet dog in here.
那是…那个气味是存贮着的 That is the... the smell of backed up,
未释放出的生殖器精华的气味 unreleased genital essence.
就像我说的 他一直是个很有魅力的绅士 As I said, he's been an amazing gentleman.
好 我想来敬个酒 Well, I'd like to propose a toast.
为Brian和Kate To Brian and Kate.
我知道我们刚认识 但你看起来 I know we just met, but you seem
对我们女儿真的很不错 like you're really good for our daughter.
而且还为那些孩子冒生命危险? And risking your life for those kids?
你真是个好人 Brian You're a good guy, Brian.
一个真正的好人 A really good guy.
哇 谢谢 Wow. Thanks.
那敲击的声音是什么? What's that thumping noise?
那是你的尾巴 别摇了 It's your tail. Stop wagging your tail.
我可停不下来 快帮帮我 I can't help it. Do something.
Brian的尾巴曾在912中被邪恶Stewie也切掉过
噢…噢 妈的 Oh... oh, damn it.
我是说把它握住 不是让你切下来 I meant hold it, not cut it off.
你又没说明白 You weren't specific.
我之前又没干过 I've never done this before.
你还好吧 Brian Are you okay, Brian?
是的 我只是见到你们太高兴了 Yeah, I'm just so happy to meet you both.
你他妈的在… What the hell are you...
我在灼烧你的尾巴 相信我 我是个护士 I'm cauterizing your tail. Trust me, I'm a nurse.
Brian?
那里到底怎么了? What's going on over there?
我觉得他们把我们的晚饭烧糊了 I think they burned our dinner.
上帝 疼死了 太疼了 Stewie Oh, God, it hurts. It hurts, Stewie.
来点吗啡 Here's a little morphine.
搞毛啊? 你别想用那个东西戳我 What the hell? You're not gonna stick me with that thing.
我不认为那是个真正的护士 KATE'S DAD: I don't think that's a real nurse.
别乱动就好 就当你在兽医那儿 Just hold still. Pretend you're at the vet.
兽医? 我恨那兽医 Vet? I hate the vet!
这里有条狗 There's a dog in here!
是的 好了吧? Yes! Okay?
这里有条狗 我就是狗 There's a dog in here. I'm a dog!
我很抱歉 Kate I'm so sorry, Kate.
我…我知道你恨狗 但我… I-I know you hate dogs, and I...
我本想告诉你…我…我真的试过了… I wanted to tell you-- I-I really did--
但是我…我只是想… but I-I just thought...
我想 如果我们先了解一下对方 I thought, if we got to know each other better first,
你最终就能放下成见 you would eventually be able to see past it.
"我说吧" STEWIE:"See."
可我…我只是…我真的很在乎你 And I... I just... I really care about you,
而且我真希望这能有用 而且我… and I really want this to work, and I'm...
我很抱歉我之前没有告诉你 I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before.
你能原谅我吗? Can you ever forgive me?
你还会和我在一起吗? Do you think that you can still be with me?
你知道么 Brian You know what, Brian?
我可以不在乎你是个狗的事实 I could have gotten over the fact that you're a dog,
因为我真的很在乎你 because I really do care about you
而且我觉得我们心心相印 and I feel like we had a connection,
但我不能原谅你欺骗了我 but I can't get over the fact that you lied to me.
你搞砸了 Brian You screwed up, Brian.
现在你要看着我 And now you're going to have to watch me
走出那扇门 walk out that door.
嗯 听起来外面需要我 Well, it sounds like I'm needed outside.
老妈 这些木匠 Mom, what were all those carpenters
今天来这做什么 doing here today?
装回我们原来老旧蹩脚的楼梯 Meg Putting back our old crappy stairs, Meg.
我没别的选择 I didn't have a choice.
呀 我爱我的旧楼梯 Yay! I love my old stairs!
啊噢 我忘记把Joe放下来了 Uh-oh, I forgot to cut Joe down.
Joe 你在上面怎么样? Joe, what are you doing up there?
享受天堂 Bonnie Enjoying Heaven, Bonnie.
快来跟我一起 Come join me.
我床头柜里有把枪 There's a gun in my nightstand.
Brian 我知道你 Brian, I know you're upset
对Kate发生的那些事很难过 about what happened with Kate and everything,
但我本来还有一个主意 but I did have one more thought.
嗯 说来听听? Yeah, what's that?
嗯 既然她是瞎子 Well, since Kate is blind,
你应该可以用另一种声音 you could probably just do a different voice
再和她重新开始约会 and go out with her all over again.
嘿 你是Kate? BRIAN: Hey. Are you Kate?
是的 Yes.
- 嘿 我是J交友网的Noah - 上帝啊 嗨 - Hey, it's Noah from JDate. - Oh, my God! Hi!
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