## OP / ED ##
## SIGNS ##
## SCRIPT ##
The Hero Yoshihiko and the Demon King's Castle starts right now!
Hold it right there!
Leave yer food and cash on the ground.
For pity's sake...
The Demon King continues to rot the hearts of men.
No lone man stands a chance against the combined might of Danjo and the Hero Yoshihiko.
How about now?
Woah! Is that a gun? Those are like super-rare in these parts!
Stop this!
I've come too far to stop now!
I am a CRAZY MAN, you see!
Hey, you!
What do you think you're doing out here?!
What do you want? I'm busy, here!
What do I want?!
You've got a whole mess of chores back at the house, and you're out here playing?!
I ain't care about your chores, woman!
Drop the 'tough guy' act, you bum.
Today's trash day and the house is stinking to high heaven!
Well maybe I like having a stinky house!
I am a CRAAAAAZY bandit, after all!
Oh, yeah! Crazy DELUDED, maybe!
I'm so sorry about this. My husband's such an idiot.
C'mon already, fools!
Why are you so damn useless?!
Can't you hear your baby crying?!
I been holdin' him all day! You take him a while!
I ain't give a crap, idiot!
I told you to HOLD YOUR CHILD! Gimme a break for once!
C'mon, hold the baby. Your wife looks really tired.
Okay. Try an' take me now!
Poor thing, he's crying!
Would you like me to hold him for you?
Stay right there!
There, there, li'l man.
Now put yer food and money—
Daddy's here, li'l man. No cry, no cry.
Yes, that yelling was so bad and mean, I'm sorry.
I'll murder you all in cold blood!
'salright, li'l man.
Perhaps you should take care of your chores. We could fight later.
Shut the hell up!
Hey, you!
Take the trash out. The garbage truck's coming.
Take it yourself, woman!
It's YOUR job to take out the trash and it always WILL be, asshole!
Dumbass! Freeloader!
Come on! I'm ready for you!
I really don't think you are.
My hands are full, so I'll give ya good odds.
C'mon, come at me! Or are ya chicken?!
Hey, you!
These are full, too. Go toss 'em out.
I could take the trash out for you, if you like.
Stop offering to do his chores, idiot.
I'm so sorry to drag you all into this.
Yeah, hear that? The garbage truck is almost here!
Now go! Get to it, c'mon!
You probably should go.
I'm gonna throw out the trash, put my son to sleep, and wash the dishes. Then I'll be back!
You'd better be here!
Yeah, right! That's gonna take forever.
Marriage is tough stuff.
I can't stand by. I must assist him!
Just let it go!
At least let me do the dishes!
There's Fat J with his humpback letter
Gettin' pretty sick of these posers all around
Get yourself an afro if you wanna make a difference
The whole world needs you now, Funkanizer!
Internet, radio, and television
All pouring out information non-stop
It's just pulling me back and forth
My head's about to explode!
Love it! Love it! Evolution!
Love it! Love it! Revolution!
I want to see my true face in the mirror
I know that some day I'll wither away!
Get it up! Get it up! Haha, baby!
Get it up! Get it up! I can't sit still!
Let's do this with color and style! Hey!
A no-budget action-adventure series
You sure this'll be okay?
The Hero Yoshihiko and
the Demon King's Castle
Oh no!
I feel so disoriented...
Six
No! Don't let them confuse you!
We'll start with big arm circles!
Oh no!
Danjo's doing radio calisthenics!
He really must be confused...
Get a hold of yourself, Danjo!
Who are you?! Stay away from me!
What are you doing, old man?!
It's no use! Danjo's confused. We have to run!
m -290 95 l -285 127 l -465 151 l -467 118 l -289 95
Ramul Village
It's a grave injury.
For now, he needs bed rest and treatment.
I can't rest.
We must slay the Demon King... quickly...
You're awake, Yoshihiko!
I'm sorry... if I hadn't let them confuse me...
It isn't your fault. You were under the enemy's spell.
Don't force yourself to speak.
The wound should heal with treatment.
If you knew any healing spells we wouldn't be in this mess!
You really are useless as hell.
When you say that it just makes me feel so 'aww maaaan'...
... and then quick recovery, woo!
Don't steal some bandit's jokes!
At least act sorry!
Idiot.
Sleazebag.
Weirdo mole!
Hey!
That's going too far! Don't make fun of my mole!
I will be taking over Yoshihiko's care. My name is Lienne.
I must apply the treatment to his wound. Might I ask you to wait outside?
Hey...
What's with you guys?
Hey!
Are you truly questing to slay the tyrannical Demon King?
Yes...
To fight not for yourselves, but for the world at large...
I find it very admirable.
As long as the Demon King remains, men's hearts will continue to rot away...
I cannot sit idly by.
I shall pray for your safety, Yoshihiko.
I thank you.
She's breathtaking...
You think?
And... those knockers!
... old man. You really are a perv.
Don't call me old man.
Sweets.
Huh? What are you doing?
Well, I thought if she got a sugar craving, she might invite me out for ice cream.
Don't use your spells for crap like that!
And even if it did work, no way she'd ask you out.
You know, Murasaki, you seem even more pissy than usual today.
Excuse me! Am not!
Don't be so down, old man.
We'll get some good grub and we'll all feel better.
Huh? Rain?
Nah. Gotta be the Buddha.
Huh?
Hey... does he know we can see him?
So yeah, when you stay up all night...
You really reach your peak at 3 PM.
Yo, Buddha!
But it's what, five minutes?
Just sleep five minutes, it makes it all way easier y'know?
Yeah!
Hey, Buddha! You're on!
Huh?
You can see me?
Yeah. You're talking about this one time you pulled an all-nighter.
Really?
Can you not control when you show up?
Oh... huh, it is that time, isn't it.
Were you going to tell us where the Demon's Helm is?
Right, right. That.
Hey... are you reading from a card?
Shut it.
Right, okay.
Listen well, Y— where's Yoshihiko?
He's a bit occupied.
Oh, right. Anyway, listen well!
Hey, at least put your food down, first!
Gimme a break! You want me to eat it cold?
But this is important stuff!
Yeah, I know. Okay.
Go north, there's this really really big mountain.
Monster's there, he's got the Helm. There, done.
Hey, he gets through this quick when he's got udon.
Yeah but like, this monster, he moves around a lot.
So you only got three days. Better hurry.
Three days?!
And we don't know if Yoshihiko will be healed up by then...
No way. He's flat on his back.
I will go!
By yourself, old man?
Yes.
No way. You can't beat that monster yourself.
Yes... I can!
I am a veteran warrior! I can handle a monster or two!
Hold it, old man!
Please don't, Miss. I can feed myself.
You mustn't.
The doctor said that you must not exert yourself.
And...
What is it?
Please... call me Lienne.
Lienne...
Yes.
Do you know where my allies have gone?
A friend of mine said she saw them leaving the town.
Where were they going?
I do not know.
Could they have learned the location of the Demon's Helm?
Demon's... Helm?
I cannot stay here. I must go with them.
No! You are still injured!
But I must go! If bandits or monsters should attack...
You must not go... Yoshihiko.
Please, let me go.
It's my fault that Yoshihiko was injured.
I must acquire the Demon's Helm myself.
C'mon, man, you gotta stop blaming yourse—
I'm an envoy from the bandit leader Izamaru.
I'm here to take your woman.
Woman? You mean her?
Yes!
Hey! You're in demand, girl!
But Murasaki will be no bandit's wife.
If you want her, you will have to go through me.
Come.
I will gladly take your life.
Wait, huh?
What is it?
Hang on...
Huh? Did you just... step in crap?
What?
Woah, he did! He stepped in crap!
This is nothing. I barely touched it!
No way, your shoe is rank!
Then I'll just wipe it off!
There!
You stepped in the crap again.
You got crap on both feet!
That makes you... a double crap-man.
Hey... stop it!
Woo, double crap-man!
Knock it off!
We're the most vicious bandits in this country. Everyone knows it.
We've burned countless villages to the ground.
Some day, this whole land will be ours!
Woah, that's a pretty cool speech...
But his feet are still covered in shit.
Maybe I don't care if they're covered in shit.
Aw, it reeks. Totally.
It really does stink, woah!
-Aw, it stinks. -Stinks!
What does?
You do! Your feet stink!
Ugh, stinks! Stinks so bad!
-Stinks... -Aw, it stinks...
Crap-man, crap-man... double crap-man...
Listen to me, Crap-Man!
Wash the crap from your shoes and return anew.
I can see that you are a strong fighter.
And I wish to fight you... as a crap-free man.
As... a crap-free man?
You are not a man who fights with shit on his feet!
My name is Danjo.
And I will fight you any time.
I see.
I will wash off the poo and return.
Incidentally, I stepped in it a little, too.
So YOU'RE the one that stinks?!
You cannot go, Yoshihiko!
Don't try to follow me.
It is my duty to look after you while you are injured!
Look out, Yoshihiko!
Lienne... Lienne!
Oh no... she's been poisoned!
Filthy monster! Give us the Demon's Helm!
Right here!
Omnigout!
Based on Kaboom or Omniheal
There! I'm slowly raising the purine level in your body!
Soon, the uric acid in your body will build up, causing your joints to swell to—
It isn't working! Let's get outta here!
Get it now, old man?
The monster will still be there tomorrow. We'll just go tomorrow.
Maybe Yoshihiko will be well enough to go, then.
I told you, we're doing this without Yoshihiko.
Omnigout didn't work, but I learned a new spell earlier.
Just as useless as the ones before.
No, I think it will be very useful against that monster.
What is the spell?
There!
Well?
I kinda... stink.
Yes!
My spell gives clothing the smell of mildew. I call it...
Kerstink.
Ugh, it reeks!
It stinks about 60% more than clothing hung out to dry
in a room during monsoon season.
Just take it off, already.
If you want me to do it, then say... 'Melub's mole isn't weird.'
Melub's mole...
Say it to its face!
Melub's mole isn't weird.
Very good!
You're saying that while the monster's distracted by his stinky clothes...
We can strike?
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, but still...
Hmm? What is it?
When we were fighting yesterday, I realized something...
I might have learned a new combat skill.
What?!
There's this thing I did. It made the monster freeze up for a second.
What did you do?
Check it out.
Hey, what! I can't stop shaking!
Woah! Murasaki learned the "Big Eyes" skill!
Are you serious?
I'm so glad we got the poison out quickly.
The doctor says that your injury is nearly healed, as well.
I need to know, Lienne.
Why did you try to protect me?
Because...
Because I'm your nurse, of course.
I see...
And... because I...
Because I...
I adore you.
Ever since the first time I saw you, I...
I've been crazy in love with you!
Lienne...
You are my angel
After long, hard days of fighting
You appeared before me like a dream!
This is no mere whim of chance
It must have been the will of God
That in this wide world, we should find each other!
I wish to always protect you!
I wish to always watch over you!
As long as our love is strong
we shall walk together
no matter what lies ahead
across the mountains far!
Parting the mists that lead men astray
Slaying the monsters that stand in our way
We'll walk together, side by side
And I will live only for you!
Only for you...
What is it? What is it, Lienne?
I really can't do it...
What's wrong?
I've been enchanted... by an evil sorcerer who lives in the southern mountains.
What?!
If I try to kiss a man... my heart will stop.
What did you say?
As long as I live... I can never kiss a man.
Never... kiss?
Don't worry, though.
You have your quest to slay the Demon King.
And I will live on, carrying your memory in my heart.
Never... kiss?
Yoshihiko?
Yoshihiko...
You aren't fully healed yet. You have to rest.
No... I cannot do that.
I'm bringing you back, even if I have to knock you out to do it.
I cannot allow that.
Yoshihiko...
Well, that's a Hero for you. Right?
A Hero can't just run from a fight.
Better give it up, old man.
The Hero Yoshihiko is destined to fight the Demon King.
You cannot stop me, Danjo.
I'm going to defeat the sorcerer in the southern mountains.
Excuse me?
You've got it wrong. It's a monster in the northern mountains.
No, it's a sorcerer in the southern mountains.
Lienne, the girl who nursed me back to health is under an evil enchantment.
She cannot kiss a man or her heart will stop!
What are you talking about?
I must defeat that evil sorcerer, so that I can kiss Lienne!
But we only have a day to defeat that monster!
If we miss our chance now, we might not be able to beat the Demon King!
And I wish to kiss Lienne, as soon as possible!
Yoshihiko...
Defeating the Demon Lord... or kissing! Which means more to you?!
Kissing.
KISSING!
I don't care about the Demon King anymore.
I want to spend the rest of my life here, kissing Lienne.
You idiot! You stupid Yoshihiko!
You mean this, Yoshihiko?
Along my journey, there is one thing I have come to realize.
I...
I love boobies.
Since leaving Coboy Village, through all our battles with bandits and monsters...
I could think of nothing but defeating the Demon King.
When suddenly... those knockers came into my sight.
Something too beautiful to be believed...
Soon, my thoughts the Demon King faded, replaced by those fabulous tits...
And now, nothing but the tits remain!
Nothing... but the tits...
Yoshihiko... I've been here this whole time, you're just thinking about boobs now?!
Murasaki! You are insufficient!
You have to accept that!
Aw, man, this isn't good...
Why can't a Hero love boobs?
No— because I am a Hero, I must love boobs!
Forgive me.
Boobies over Demons. That is my decision.
Yoshihiko...
Your mission in life is to defeat the Demon King!
It is not to kiss me...
But Lienne...
Why don't you just defeat that monster, first...
... and defeat the sorcerer after that?
Well...
I guess I could!
If you do, we don't... have to stop at kissing, you know...
If you... want to...
I very much want to.
Okay.
I very much want to!!
I can't fight any longer... go on without me!
But what are we supposed to do?
He's naked, so Kerstink does nothing.
Murasaki's still locked up from that epic diss...
It's over! I'm done for!
Halt, monster!
Yoshihiko!
I've realized that there is one thing that makes a true hero...
That is his party!
It's a little point-missing, but I'm so glad to see you I don't even care!
Amazing! Just one hit!
So this is the Demon's Helm!
Farewell!
Listen, you! Take that spell off of Lienne NOW!
Very well. I will never cast another spell on Lienne.
YES! YESSSS!
Good! I don't have to kill you!
Thank you!
Yoshihiko!
I have a promise from the sorcerer. He'll remove the spell.
That means... I can kiss you, Yoshihiko?
Yes!
What?!
Huh?
I'm... I'm back!
Who are you?!
That's it!
I was under a terrible enchantment!
It made me a woman with huge knockers who could never kiss a man!
Yes! My body's back to normal!
Why...
Why such a complicated spell?
Come on, Yoshihiko!
Oh, it's the Buddha. Just a minute.
Sorry Buddha. Gotta keep it short again. Run-time concerns.
Right, I'll keep this short. BUDDHA BEAM!
Woah, he used it.
I've erased the boobies from Yoshihiko's mind.
Really?!
Let us go. We must defeat the Demon King as quickly as possible.
Huh. Kinda like a reset button.
My back hurts. I wonder why?
Don't worry about it.
Brother...
Hisa.
Let's grab some meatloaf at the diner.
Alright.
I want to find you waiting for me
On the day, at the place we agreed upon
It's not much of a song, but I wrote it for you
And I'll play it for you now
Because I'm still in love with you
Because I still have things to say to you
In hope that my song might reach you
I'll keep singing it into the wind
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people or organizations is coincidental.
Can you collect the rent from my deadbeat tenants?
Standing in their way: five formidable foes.
Oh, Yoshihiko!
I need to do cat's cradle!
I do know one spell...
Save your game?
No.
Let's call it a day!