the British royal family they like the
Kardashians with an occasional beheading
now the royal family has had plenty
scandals in their time but right now
they're going through an unprecedented
crisis last week Prince Harry and Megan
Markel announced that they're no longer
going to be on the family phone plan
anymore and so today the Queen called
everyone together for an emergency royal
summit we move now we just mentioned a
couple seconds ago the latest drama
surrounding the Royals the Queen as we
speak holding a crisis summit with her
family in the wake of Prince Harry and
Megan Markel stunning decision to step
back from their rule Harry and his dad
Charles and brother William were there
and Megan Markel reportedly called in
from Canada yes McQueen summoned
everyone to a private meeting at her
royal country house and everyone
attended except Megan Michael who
conference called in and I'll be honest
I don't blame Megan for not going
because nothing good happens when white
people invite you to the countryside we
all know we've all seen it we've all
seen get out we know how this shit ends
and by the way how gangsta is it that
the queen is 93 years old and still
driving herself huh that is so dope 93
years old she's in a Range Rover like
she's in a hip-hop video from the 90s
like you could throw some biggie under
that clip and it wouldn't look out of
place
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
anyway the big question everyone's
asking right now is why why would Harry
and Megan want out of a life there's so
many people dream of having I mean think
about we kiss frogs to try and become
royalty huh
the only thing I've ever gotten is from
herpes but for Harry and Megan in
particular the reality of being a royal
couple has been far from a fairy tale
just a few months into their
relationship British tabloids descended
on them with racially charged headlines
and commentary like this one from the
dead email that read Harry's girl is
almost straight out of Compton a British
DJ has been fired for a controversial
tweet about the royal baby
the BBC's Danny Baker posted a photo
showing a couple holding hands with a
chimpanzee and the caption read royal
baby leaves Hospital the wife of one of
the Queen's cousins princess Michael of
Kent wore what's called a black amore
brooch to the Queen's annual Christmas
lunch with Harry and Megan in attendance
the jewellery is widely viewed as racist
for its depiction of black people Wow
wearing a black amore brooch to meet
Megan's like family you meeting Megan
Michael you meeting everyone else that
is next-level like I wonder if this
woman has a cabinet full of racist
brooches for different occasions like
who even has it is she just like jeez
I'm off to Korea fetch me my necklace of
a dog in a frying pan please we're going
all the way but this shows you this
shows you some of what Megan was up
against right to her critics you've got
to understand Megan was everything
people didn't want in the royal family
she's black she's from the middle class
she's a divorcee and worst of all she
said the American version of The Office
is way better and the biggest the
biggest culprit of the Megan criticism
has been the British tabloid press I
mean just look at a few of these stories
it went viral this weekend like how they
covered Megan in comparison to Kate
Middleton right Derek berrak stories
when Kate was pregnant
the Daily Mail said pregnant Kate
tenderly cradles her baby bump but when
Megan did the exact same thing the
headline was why can't Megan Markel keep
her hands off her bump is it pride
vanity
acting the press did this with
everything when Kate was pregnant the
Express said that she was eating
avocados for her morning sickness cure
but then when Megan ate them suddenly
Megan's beloved avocados were linked to
human rights abuse and droughts yeah and
I mean think about it
Prince Andrews over here having
sleepovers at Geoffrey Epstein's house
and the British press is like Megan
Marco ordered guacamole so it's
completely understandable that Harry and
Megan would want to step away from all
of this hate in the UK but now everyone
is wondering what they'll do to support
themselves without any of that royal
cash well good news Megan's already got
herself a job Megan the Dutchess of
Sussex is reportedly working on a deal
to record a voiceover for Disney Megan
and Prince Harry met with Disney CEO at
the London premiere of The Lion King in
July where Harry appeared to discuss
possible future projects
[Music]
okay wait Prince Harry really did that
at a movie premiere last year he asked
the CEO of Disney to hook his wife up
with voiceovers and I mean don't get me
wrong on the one hand husband goals on
the other hand you gotta admit the
monarchy has fallen off right no cuz
back in the day it used to be like if
you marry my daughter
I'll give you Burgundy and now it's like
my wife actually does a pretty good
Timon you should hear her come on baby
do the thing
Hakuna Matata do the thing and you know
what's funny is whatever you see the
world's most powerful people talking we
always assume that they're talking about
important things like climate change or
world peace or the next Illuminati orgy
but it turns out they're all just
hustling yeah it's like oh did I mention
I started selling fudge cake my card
with my website on it it's Bill Gates
fudge Cobb but that's where we are right
now Meghan and Harry on their way to a
new life the press is losing one of
their favorite targets and the queen is
so angry about it that she's about to go
do some drive-bys
[Music]
you