>> Steve: FROM STUDIO 6B IN
ROCKEFELLER CENTER IN THE HEART
OF NEW YORK CITY, IT'S "THE
TONIGHT SHOW STARRING
JIMMY FALLON."
TONIGHT, JOIN JIMMY AND HIS
GUESTS --
ROBERT PATTINSON,
PETE DAVIDSON,
MUSICAL GUEST BROCKHAMPTON,
AND FEATURING THE LEGENDARY
ROOTS CREW.
>> Questlove: 888.
>> Tariq: YEAH!
>> Steve: AND NOW, HERE HE IS,
JIMMY FALLON!
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH!
IT IS A HOT SHOW.
IT IS A HOT SHOW TONIGHT.
WELCOME, EVERYBODY.
WELCOME TO "THE TONIGHT SHOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THIS IS IT.
YOU'RE HERE.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE,
EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
GUYS, TONIGHT PRESIDENT TRUMP
HELD A BIG RALLY UP IN
MINNESOTA.
IT'S PART OF HIS PLAN TO GET AS
FAR AWAY FROM THE MEXICAN
BORDER AS POSSIBLE.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S RIGHT, PRESIDENT TRUMP
WENT TO MINNESOTA TO HOLD A
A RALLY.
AT ONE POINT EVEN HIS STAFF WAS
LIKE, "LET'S JUST PUSH HIM INTO
CANADA AND BE DONE WITH THIS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH."
PEOPLE ARE REALLY UPSET ABOUT
HOW TRUMP'S HANDLED IMMIGRANT
FAMILIES.
IN FACT, WHILE TRUMP WAS
VISITING CONGRESS THIS WEEK,
SOMEONE YELLED, "MR. PRESIDENT,
EFF YOU!"
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BUT DON'T WORRY, MELANIA
QUICKLY APOLOGIZED.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
AND THEN THEY GOT OVER IT AND
THEY GO, "NO, THAT'S" --
BUT THIS IS BIG, TRUMP REVERSED
COURSE TODAY AND SIGNED AN
ORDER TO STOP SEPARATING
IMMIGRANT KIDS FROM THEIR
FAMILIES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND START DETAINING THEM
TOGETHER.
[ AUDIENCE AWS ]
>> Steve: OH.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW 2
2018 IS ROUGH WHEN PEOPLE ARE
GOING, "ALL RIGHT, FAMILIES
GETTING LOCKED UP IN CAGES
TOGETHER, YEAH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S -- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
SOMETHING."
GUYS, I READ THAT DAN SCAVINO,
THE GUY WHO HELPS WRITE TRUMP'S
TWEETS --
[ LAUGHTER ]
THERE'S A GUY WHO HELPS WRITE
THOSE THINGS?
>> Steve: HE HELPS HIM!
>> Jimmy: DAN SCAVINO, THE GUY
WHO HELPS WRITE TRUMP'S TWEETS
IS CONSIDERING LEAVING THE
WHITE HOUSE.
YEAH.
AFTER THINKING LONG AND HARD HE
SAID, "I'VE DECIDED IT'S TIME
FOR ME TO COVFEFE."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
AND THAT'S -- I JUST HAVE --
SOME BUSINESS NEWS.
SINCE A JUDGE APPROVED AT&T'S
MERGER WITH TIME WARNER,
EXPERTS SAY IT COULD OPEN UP
THE DOOR FOR OTHER BIG
COMPANIES TO MERGE.
WELL, WE TOOK A LOOK AT SOME
COMPANIES WE'D LIKE TO SEE
MERGE JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY
COULD RENAME THEMSELVES.
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.
FOR EXAMPLE, IF SAKS 5TH AVENUE
AND CITIGROUP MERGED, THEY'D BE
"SAKS IN THE CITI."
>> Steve: OH!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: I'D LIKE THAT.
>> Steve: I LOVE THAT.
>> Jimmy: I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT
HAPPEN.
>> Steve: LOVE TO SEE IT.
>> Jimmy: NEXT UP, IF MYSPACE
AND EBAY MERGED, THEY'D BE,
"MYBAY."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
HERE'S ANOTHER, IF CHILI'S AND
NETFLIX MERGED, THEY'D BE
"NETFLIX AND CHILI'S."
COME ON!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
THAT'S PERFECT.
WHY'S THAT NOT HAPPENING?
AND FINALLY IF BDOBO AND
DUNKIN' DONUTS MERGED, THEY'D
BE "BA-DUNK-A-DUNK."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
I'M JUST SAYING, IT'S ALL
POSSIBLE.
THIS IS COOL, A NEW COMIC BOOK
SERIES IS COMING OUT THAT
FOLLOWS JAMES BOND AS A
A TEENAGER.
THEY DECIDED ON THE COMIC BOOK
OVER A MOVIE, 'CAUSE NOBODY
WANTS TO HEAR, "THE NAME'S
BOND, JAMES BOND."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
CHECK THIS OUT, I SAW THAT
BANKS ARE STARTING TO OFFER
SERVICES THROUGH VIRTUAL
ASSISTANTS LIKE AMAZON ECHO,
WHICH BACKFIRES WHEN YOU ASK
ALEXA FOR YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE
AND SHE JUST STARTS LAUGHING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SPEAKING OF THE ECHO, I HEARD
THAT AMAZON IS LAUNCHING A NEW
VERSION THAT'S MADE JUST FOR
HOTEL ROOMS.
IT'S NICE UNTIL YOU LIE DOWN ON
THE BED AND HEAR --
>> I WOULDN'T LIE THERE IF I
WERE YOU.
>> Jimmy: OKAY, ALL RIGHT,
PERFECT.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
"DON'T TOUCH THE REMOTE
CONTROL."
FINALLY GUYS, THE WORLD CUP IS
UNDERWAY IN RUSSIA, BUT I READ
THAT THERE IS ALREADY A BEER
SHORTAGE IN MOSCOW.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
LUCKILY, PEOPLE CAN STILL GET
DRUNK BECAUSE RUSSIAN TAP WATER
IS JUST VODKA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GUYS, WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW
TONIGHT.
GIVE IT UP FOR THE ROOTS!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: NOT EVERY DAY YOU GET
TO HEAR THE FLUTE HAPPENING
RIGHT THERE.
LET'S GET THE CROWD HYPED UP,
MAN.
THANK YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
NOT BAD.
THAT'S GOOD HYPE MUSIC.
>> Steve: YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, CAN YOU GIVE ME
A LITTLE FLUTE --
LIKE "YEAH, YOU WANT SOME OF
THIS, MAN?
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?"
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
"DO THIS NOW?
YOU WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW?"
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
LOVELY.
FANTASTIC, TALENTED DUDE.
GUYS, WE HAVE ANOTHER GREAT
SHOW TONIGHT.
FROM THE NEW MOVIE, "DAMSEL,"
ROBERT PATTINSON IS HERE
TONIGHT!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: WOW!
>> Jimmy: HE'S GREAT IN THIS
MOVIE, FUNNY.
ALSO FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
AND THE NEW NETFLIX MOVIE, "SET
IT UP," PETE DAVIDSON IS
DROPPING BY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: COME ON, MY MAN PETE!
>> Jimmy: AND WE GOT GREAT
MUSIC.
BROCKHAMPTON IS MAKING THEIR
LATE NIGHT TV DEBUT.
BROCKHAMPTON.
"TONYA" IS THE NAME OF THE JAM.
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A LITTLE
BROCKHAMPTON?
>> Steve: I WOULD LOVE YOU TO
BUST ME OFF A PIECE.
>> Jimmy: CHECK OUT THIS JAM,
BROCKHAMPTON.
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: WAIT NO -- IT'S
NOT -- NO, THAT'S NOT IT.
THAT WAS NOT -- I PRESSED THE
WRONG BUTTON.
THAT WAS NOT --
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT WAS NOT BROCKHAMPTON, NO.
THAT IS NOT THE SONG "TONYA" BY
BROCKHAMPTON, I'M SORRY.
I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON,
THERE'S A LOT OF BUTTONS ON
THIS KEYBOARD.
>> Steve: THERE'S A LOT,
THERE'S LIKE --
>> Jimmy: IT'S A COMPUTER
KEYBOARD --
>> Steve: IT'S A QWERTY
KEYBOARD, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: IT'S A QWERTY
KEYBOARD, THAT'S TRUE.
BUT I -- THIS THING -- AND I
DON'T --
YOU WANT TO HEAR A LITTLE BIT?
>> Steve: I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR
A LITTLE BROCKHAMPTON.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
BUST ME OFF A PIECE.
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: CAN YOU ADD A LITTLE
FLUTE TO THAT JAM?
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
DOING A LIVE REMIX RIGHT NOW.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO HEAR
THAT.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET --
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THAT
ANYWHERE ELSE.
THAT'S A LIVE REMIX, TURNED UP
FOR YOU GUYS, COME ON.
[ UNINTELLIGIBLE ]
>> Jimmy: ONLY ON "THE TONIGHT
SHOW," YEAH.
>> Steve: WOW!
>> Jimmy: HEY GUYS, THE NBA
DRAFT IS TOMORROW NIGHT HERE IN
NEW YORK CITY.
>> Steve: YEAH!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: AND EVERYONE --
EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT,
THERE'S SO MANY GREAT NEW
PLAYERS THIS YEAR.
AND AFTER TOMORROW NIGHT,
THEY'RE GOING TO BECOME
HOUSEHOLD NAMES.
I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED BECAUSE
I -- I ACTUALLY KNOW A LOT OF
THOSE GUYS ALREADY.
>> Steve: REALLY?
>> Jimmy: LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW
THIS, BUT WE STAR IN A FRIDAY
NIGHT SITCOM CALLED "PLAY BY
PLAY."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, LET
ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE TASTE.
HERE'S THE OPENING TO OUR
SITCOM, "PLAY BY PLAY."
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ SOMETIMES YOU WONDER
AM I EVER GONNA GET MY
BREAK ♪
♪ BUT YOU'RE A REAL DEAL
YOU NEVER FAKE IT YOU KNOW
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ EVEN WHEN THE GAMES A
FOULOUT COACH NEVER SEEMS
TO LOOK YOUR WAY ♪
[ CHEERS ]
♪ THERE'S NO SHAME
YOU KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE
GAME TOMORROW EVERYBODY'S
GONNA KNOW YOUR NAME ♪
♪ PLAY BY PLAY
PLAY BY PLAY
NOTHING'S GOING TO STAND
IN YOUR WAY ♪
♪ SHOT AT THE BUZZER
NO WORRIES NO SWEAT
LONG AS YOU BELIEVE IT'S
GOING NOTHING BUT NET ♪
♪ PLAY BY PLAY
PLAY BY PLAY
NEVER LOOKING BACK TO
YESTERDAY ♪
♪ OH MOVING OFF THE SIDELINE
TAKING YOUR SHOT WITH A SLAM
DUNK YOU'RE HEADED ♪
♪ STRAIGHT TO THE TOP
PLAY BY PLAY ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
OUR THANKS TO ALL THE PLAYERS
WHO PARTICIPATED IN THAT AND
SPECIAL THANKS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE THEME SONG WAS WRITTEN AND
PERFORMED BY THE GENIUS BEHIND
THE THEMES TO "FULL HOUSE,"
"FAMILY MATTERS," "PERFECT
STRANGERS."
THE ONE AND ONLY,
JESSE FREDERICK, EVERYBODY.
>> Steve: YEAH!
>> Jimmy: JESSE FREDERICK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, BUDDY!
IT'S FANTASTIC!
I LOVED IT!
STICK AROUND, WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK WITH MORE "TONIGHT SHOW,"
EVERYBODY.
JESSE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
IT IS TIME FOR "TONIGHT SHOW"
KID LETTERS.
HERE WE GO!
♪ TONIGHT SHOW KID LETTERS
KID LETTERS
TONIGHT SHOW ♪
>> Jimmy: NOW, WE -- WE GET
LETTERS FROM KIDS ALL OVER THE
WORLD.
THEY SEND US IDEAS, JOKES,
SUGGESTIONS FOR THE SHOW.
THEY'RE ALWAYS GREAT.
I WANTED TO SHARE SOME OF THEM
WITH YOU RIGHT THERE.
THESE ARE REAL LETTERS FROM
REAL KIDS.
WE DO NOT MAKE THIS UP.
OUR FIRST KID LETTER IS FROM A
A KID NAMED CAMERON, AGE SIX.
IT SAYS "DEAR JIM.
I LIKE SOME OF YOUR SHOW.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT'S SOMETIMES FUNNY.
NOW HERE'S A JOKE.
WHY WAS THE BROOM LATE FOR
WORK?
BECAUSE HE OVER SWEPT."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
[ RIMSHOT ]
FROM CAMERON.
>> Steve: COME ON, THAT'S A
A GOOD ONE.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, CAMERON.
I LIKED SOME OF THAT JOKE.
IT WAS SOMETIMES FUNNY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Steve: LIKE SOME OF YOUR
NAME TOO.
>> Jimmy: THIS ONE IS NICK.
HE IS AGE 12.
HE SAID, "DEAR JIMMY FALLON, ME
AND MY MOM LOVE TO WATCH YOUR
SHOW.
BUT MY BROTHER AND MY DAD BOTH
THINK YOU'RE A NERD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVE A SUGGESTION.
CAN YOU COME TO CANADA?"
THEN, DOWN HERE IT SAYS, "P.S.
NOTHING, FROM NICK."
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: HE DIDN'T HAVE
ANYTHING FOR YOU.
NO P.S.
>> Jimmy: YOU REALLY PSYCHED ME
OUT THERE, NICK.
WELL, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION,
I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO CANADA,
YOU LITTLE PUNK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
P.S. NOTHING.
THIS NEXT ONE IS FROM LUCY, AGE
NINE.
SHE SAYS, "DO YOU WANT TO HEAR
A PIZZA JOKE?
NEVER MIND, IT IS TOO CHEESY."
>> Steve: YEAH!
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]
COME ON.
>> Jimmy: I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU
CALL A COW WITH TWO LEGS?
LEAN BEEF."
THERE YOU GO.
THERE'S A DRAWING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NOT BAD.
LEAN -- LEAN BEEF.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THIS IS FROM HENRY, AGE FIVE.
IT SAYS, "DEAR JIMMY, PLEASE
STOP CLAPPING.
MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE YOUR
HANDS."
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS NEXT ONE -- I CAN'T DO IT.
OH, THIS ONE'S FUNNY.
THIS IS FROM LAUREN, AGE 12.
SHE SAID, "DEAR MR. FALLON, MY
NAME IS LAUREN.
I AM 12 YEARS OLD.
LET ME START OUT BY SAYING I
LOVE YOUR SHOW."
THANK YOU LAUREN.
"I ALWAYS LIKE IT WHEN
BLAKE SHELTON IS ON YOUR SHOW.
I WOULD WATCH A TV SHOW ABOUT
BLAKE AND JIMMY.
I'VE EVEN WRITTEN A THEME SONG
IN CASE NBC DECIDES TO FOLLOW
THROUGH WITH MY IDEA.
I DO EXPECT TO BE COMPENSATED
FOR USE OF IDEA AND/OR MY SONG.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
I REALLY WOULD WANT TO BE
COMPENSATED.
ALTHOUGH, PROBABLY ONLY 10% FOR
USE OF MY IDEA, AND 20% FOR USE
OF MY SONG.
BUT WE CAN WORK OUT
NEGOTIATIONS LATER.
THANK YOU, YOUR FRIEND, I HOPE,
LAUREN, AGE 12."
ACTUALLY, IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD
IDEA.
BUT LAUREN ACTUALLY SENT IN THE
THEME SONG.
SO LET'S TAKE A LISTEN.
LAUREN, AGE 12.
♪ WHEN YOU'RE WALKING DOWN
THE STREET
WITH SOME FRIENDS
YOU'LL WANT TO MEET ♪
♪ IT'S BLAKE AND JIMMY ♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT BAD.
♪ IT'S BLAKE AND JIMMY ♪
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
NOT BAD.
LET'S TALK.
I'LL HAVE YOUR AGENT CALL MY
AGENT OR WHATEVER.
12 YEARS OLD.
I LOVE IT.
LAST ONE IS FROM CHRISTOPHER,
AGE SEVEN.
"HEY JIMMY, MY NAME IS
CHRISTOPHER.
AND I AM SEVEN.
I LIKE WATCHING YOUR SHOW ON
YOUTUBE WITH MY MUMMY.
I LIKE THE FUNNY GUY IN THE
GLASSES.
BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR
THAT YOU GET TO SIT AND HE
DOESN'T.
FROM --
[ LAUGHTER ]
CHRISTOPHER."
[ APPLAUSE ]
I THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU.
OH, COME ON.
OH STOP IT.
LIKE YOU WOULD -- IT'S GOOD
THAT YOU STAND.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO
SIT.
YOU GUYS DON'T WANT HIM TO SIT.
DO YOU GUYS WANT HIM TO SIT IN
A CHAIR?
>> Steve: IT'S NICE TO SIT ONCE
IN A WHILE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: OH, PLEASE.
REALLY?
OKAY.
YOU WANT A CHAIR?
>> Steve: PLEASE, I'D LIKE TO
SIT IN A CHAIR FOR ONCE IN MY
LIFE.
>> Jimmy: YOU WANT A CHAIR?
YOU WANT A CHAIR?
>> Steve: YEAH, I'D LOVE ONE.
>> Jimmy: GO AHEAD.
GO SIT DOWN.
MR. CHAIR.
>> Steve: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Jimmy: GO FOR IT.
YEAH, THERE YOU GO.
[ WOOD BREAKING ]
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH.
HIGGINS.
HIGGINS, ARE YOU OKAY, BUDDY?
>> Steve: OH, YEAH.
I'M FINE.
I THINK THAT THE CHAIR WAS JUST
MISSING A SCREW.
[ CRASH ]
>> Jimmy: OH, NO, MY -- THE
ANVIL.
I FORGOT WE PUT AN ANVIL UP IN
THE CEILING.
THAT'S WHERE WE KEEP OUR ANVIL.
OH, NO, RUSTY, RUSTY, GET AWAY
FOR HIM!
RUSTY, GET OVER HERE.
WHAT'S THE SAFE WORD?
PINEAPPLE!
OH, RUMPELSTILTSKIN SORRY --
HIGGINS, ARE YOU OKAY?
ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
>> Steve: OH, MY GOD.
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOODNESS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Steve: AT LEAST, I KNOW
RUSTY DOESN'T HAVE A NUT
ALLERGY.
>> Jimmy: OH, THANK -- GOOD TO
KNOW THAT.
OH, MY GOSH.
GUYS, THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE
HAVE FOR KID LETTERS.
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE KIDS WHO
SENT LETTERS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOURS ON THE
SHOW, JUST E-MAIL THEM TO
KIDLETTERS@TONIGHTSHOW.COM.
STICK AROUND.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
ROBERT PATTINSON, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: OUR FIRST GUEST IS A
A VERY TALENTED ACTOR WHO STARS
IN A NEW MOVIE CALLED "DAMSEL"
WHICH IS IN THEATERS ON FRIDAY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME ROBERT PATTINSON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: ROBERT PATTINSON.
I MISS YOU, PAL.
IT HAS BEEN AWHILE.
YEAH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
I APPRECIATE IT.
DO YOU LIKE COMING TO NEW YORK?
>> I LOVE COMING TO NEW YORK.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YOU DO, YEAH.
DO YOU -- YOU DON'T HAVE A
A PLACE HERE, DO YOU?
>> UHH -- NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU KIND OF DO?
>> NO, I DON'T.
NO, NO I DON'T.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> NOW I THINK I'M TOO OLD.
I CAN'T -- I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH
THE CITY ANY MORE.
I'M TOO TIRED.
>> Jimmy: OH, PLEASE.
COME ON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
ARE YOU TAKING IN ANY SHOWS,
ARE YOU SEEING ANY BROADWAY
SHOWS OR ANYTHING?
HAVE YOU SEEN "HARRY POTTER,
HAVE YOU SEEN --
>> I HAVEN'T SEEN
"HARRY POTTER."
I'VE BEEN TRYING --
>> Jimmy: I MEAN, YOU WERE IN
"HARRY POTTER."
>> I WAS IN "HARRY POTTER" AND
I APPARENTLY, I KEEP
THINKING -- EVERYONE IS LIKE,
"DON'T SAY IT'S ABOUT
CEDRIC DIGGORY, IT'S A SECRET."
I'M LIKE, "ISN'T IT A BOOK?"
IT'S A BOOK ALREADY, RIGHT?
I DON'T KNOW.
>> Jimmy: YES, IT IS A BOOK,
YEAH.
>> IT'S A BOOK.
>> Jimmy: YES, SO PEOPLE, YEAH.
ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS READ THE
BOOK TO FIND THEY'LL KNOW THE
SPOILERS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, THE GO, "DON'T TELL ME
THE ENDING!"
YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, NO, THE
TITANIC SINKS."
YEAH, OKAY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
PEOPLE KNOW.
YEAH.
>> BUT, YEAH, I HAVE BEEN
INTENDING TO SEE IT FOR AGES.
IT SOUNDS AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
YOU SHOULD CHECK THAT OUT.
HAVE YOU SEEN ANY SHOWS SINCE
YOU'VE BEEN HERE?
>> THE ONLY SHOW I'VE REALLY
SEEN IS THE ONE THEY SAW,
"THE ROCKETTES."
WHICH I LOVE "THE ROCKETTES" SO
MUCH.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THEY'RE --
>> Jimmy: "THE CHRISTMAS
SPECTACULAR?"
>> HIGH BROW.
>> Jimmy: NO, IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.
YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: "THE CHRISTMAS
SPECTACULAR."
BUT THAT'S NOT PLAYING NOW, I
MEAN.
>> WELL, AS A KID I WENT --
>> Jimmy: MAYBE IT IS.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
NO.
>> THE KID I WENT TO WATCH IT
WITH WAS FAST ASLEEP THE ENTIRE
TIME AND I WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY
ENTHRALLED WITH IT.
>> Jimmy: THEY ARE -- THEY ARE
AMAZING, THOUGH, THE ROCKETTES,
AREN'T THEY?
BUT DID YOU SEE THE TOY SOLDIER
PART?
>> IT'S AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE BEST THING
EVER.
DUDE, I TOOK A PICTURE OF IT.
>> I TOOK A PICTURE OF THAT AND
I TOOK A PICTURE --
I DID A SLOW-MO VIDEO OF ALL
THE SANTA CLAUSES.
IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE THIS SORT
OF ABSOLUTE TERRIFYING
CHRISTMAS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: LIKE A PSYCHEDELIC?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
IT'S VERY, VERY, VERY TRIPPY IF
YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT KIND OF
MOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I LIKE TO SEE YOU
FUNNY BECAUSE YOU'RE A GREAT
ACTOR, OBVIOUSLY, IN DRAMATIC
STUFF.
BUT YOU'RE FUNNY IN "DAMSEL."
AND WE'VE DONE BITS TOGETHER.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: TOGETHER, WE WERE
VERY FUNNY.
I WAS DOING AN IMPRESSION OF
YOU.
>> I WANTED TO DO ANOTHER BIT
WITH YOU AND I JUST GET SO
SCARED.
LIKE, LITERALLY -- YEAH, I
REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
FUNNY.
THERE'S SOMETHING -- THERE'S
SOMETHING ABOUT TRYING TO BE
FUNNY THAT'S ABSOLUTELY
TERRIFYING.
>> Jimmy: DON'T I KNOW IT.
YEAH, I MEAN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, I COME EVERY NIGHT.
I TRY.
BUT, I MEAN, WAS IT TOUGH FOR
THIS MOVIE?
BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.
YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY.
>> OH, THANKS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THE TOUGH
SCENES?
>> UM -- I MEAN, I THINK THE
VERY FIRST SCENE I DID, BECAUSE
I WAS ACTING OPPOSITE THE
DIRECTOR.
AND WE REHEARSED AND STUFF, BUT
I DON'T THINK HE QUITE REALIZED
HOW HARD I WAS GOING TO PUSH.
MY EXTREME DESPERATION TO BE
FUNNY.
>> Jimmy: OH, NO, REALLY?
>> AND IT WAS A KINDA OF LONGER
SCENE AND JUST HIS LOOK OF JUST
ABSOLUTE TERROR.
GOING LIKE, "WHO HAVE I CAST?"
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU
DOING."
>> Jimmy: HE'S REALLY MILKING
THIS ONE.
WOW.
>> IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
THIS IS COMPLETELY OFF THE
TOPIC BUT DID YOU EVER --
NEVER MIND, NEVER MIND.
>> Jimmy: YOU CAN TELL ME.
YEAH.
>> NO, I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT,
LIKE, DID YOU EVER SEE THIS
MOVIE "CORKY ROMANO?"
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE.
>> WITH CHRIS KATTAN.
IT'S LIKE ONE OF MY FAVORITE
MOVIES EVER.
AND, LIKE --
>> Jimmy: CHRIS KATTAN?
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, IT'S FANTASTIC.
>> I LOVE THAT MOVIE.
AND THE BEHIND THE SCENES OF
THAT, IT'S JUST ONE OF MY
FAVORITE THINGS EVER WHEN HE'S
JUST IMPROVISING, TRYING TO
MAKE CHRIS PENN LAUGH.
AND IT'S JUST -- I MEAN, I JUST
SEE MYSELF IN THAT SO MUCH WHEN
HE'S JUST --
>> Jimmy: I LOVE THAT YOU THINK
OF "CORKY ROMANO" WHEN YOU
THINK OF COMEDY.
CHRIS IS GOING TO LOVE THIS.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> "CORKY ROMANO" IS IN MY TOP
THREE OF ALL TIME.
>> Jimmy: HE IS SUPER FUNNY.
CHRIS KATTAN IS ONE OF THE --
>> HE'S THE BEST.
>> Jimmy: MY THING THAT I
BECAME KNOWN FOR IS THAT I
LAUGH DURING SKETCHES.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD THAT
BUT I --
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I -- WE DID A SKETCH
CALLED, I DON'T KNOW,
"COW BELLS" IS WHAT WE CALL IT
NOW AND WILL FERRELL WAS BEING
REALLY FUNNY AND --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
CHRIS KATTAN'S IN IT.
AND CHRIS KATTAN AND
CHRIS PARNELL'S IN IT,
HORATIO SANZ, THEY'RE ALL FUNNY
AND EVERYONE'S --
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.
EVERYONE IS ON THEIR GAME.
>> OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT.
>> Jimmy: WHERE WILL'S HITTING
THE COW BELL AND HIS, LIKE, HIS
SHIRT COMING UP AND --
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I HAD, LIKE, ONE LINE
AND RIGHT BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSED
TO SAY MY LINE CHRIS SAID
SOMETHING LIKE, "WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?"
AND HE'S MESSING AROUND WITH
WILL AND HE KNOCKED HIS GLASSES
OFF.
AND IT WAS JUST A VERY FUNNY --
LIKE, HE WAS IMPROVISING BUT
WILL GOT INTO IT AND SO HE
KNOCKED IT AND THEN WILL LOOKED
AT ME AND I SAW, LIKE, THE EYES
OF LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND I GO LIKE -- AND SO I
STARTED LAUGHING, I JUST
TOTALLY BROKE AND I WAS LIKE, I
HAD ONE LINE IN THE WHOLE SCENE
AND I TOTALLY MESSED UP MY
LINE.
[ INDISCERNIBLE ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEY'RE LIKE --
I GO -- I GO --
>> IT'S LIKE, "JUST GET OUT,
JIMMY, GET OUT."
>> Jimmy: EXACTLY, THEY'RE
LIKE, "DUDE, YOU CAN'T LAUGH."
BUT I WAS LIKE, "IT WAS FUNNY."
THEY'RE LIKE, "YEAH, BUT YOU'RE
IN THE SCENE.
YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF."
I GO, "I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M LEARNING, I'M LEARNING."
ALSO, WHEN YOU'RE ON A MOVIE
SET, THOUGH, NO ONE IS ALLOWED
TO LAUGH.
>> YEAH, NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO
LAUGH.
AND I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
THAT BECAUSE IT WAS TWO WEEKS
IN BEFORE I FINALLY GOT A
A SINGLE EVEN TITTER FROM
ANYBODY.
AND, LIKE, YOU'RE LITERALLY
JUST LIKE -- YOU JUST -- YOU'RE
BASICALLY CRYING ON SET.
I MEAN IT BECOMES --
YOU'RE TRYING SO HARD TO BE
FUNNY, IT GOES FULL CIRCLE, I
MEAN.
I MEAN, YOU START DOING,
LIKE -- OCTAVIA SPENCER -- IS
WEEPING.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE LIKE, "OH,
JUST PLEASE, SOMEONE LAUGH AT
ME.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE."
>> BECOMES VERY DRAMATIC,
OBVIOUSLY.
>> Jimmy: YOU ALSO HAVE A GOOD
VOICE, TOO.
YOU HAVE TO SING.
>> OH, YEAH, WELL --
>> Jimmy: WELL.
>> THIS KIND OF SINGING.
>> Jimmy: IT IS.
>> BUT --
>> Jimmy: BUT IT'S SINGING.
IT'S SINGING, YOU GOT THE
GUITAR.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THIS
MOVIE, "DAMSEL"?
IT'S LIKE A WESTERN, BUT
IT'S --
>> IT'S KIND OF LIKE A FAIRY
TALE WESTERN BUT IT'S ALSO KIND
OF A NIGHTMARE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S SORT OF FUNNY BUT IT'S
SAD.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
IT'S REAL.
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK EVERYTHING
IS A NIGHTMARE, YEAH.
NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, AND OF COURSE
MIA WASIKOWSKA IS FANTASTIC.
>> SHE'S AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: SHE WAS HERE -- WE
DID A BIT WITH SPIKE JONES AND
SHE'S JUST LIKE --
>> OH, YEAH.
WHEN SHE WAS --
>> Jimmy: YES!
>> INCREDIBLE!
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT FILM PIECE.
>> THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
>> Jimmy: SHE'S SUPER FUN TO
PLAY WITH.
DO YOU KNOW -- NOW -- WHEN I
USED TO GET MY HAIRCUT I USED
TO ASKED FOR YOUR HAIRCUT.
>> NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
REALLY?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, I WENT IN AND I
GO --
AND I WOULD BRING IN A PHOTO OF
YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN I'D GET MY HAIRCUT AND
I GO, "CAN I JUST -- LOOK AT
HIS HAIR, IT LOOKS SO GOOD."
AND THEN THEY HAVE TO REALLY
JUST SIT ME DOWN AND GO LIKE,
"BUT YOU LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIS
FACE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU LOOK LIKE ROBERT PATTINSON
GOT STUNG BY 50 BEES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST UNDERSTAND YOU LOOK
NOTHING LIKE HIM AT ALL.
>> NO.
>> Jimmy: BUT, I MEAN, COME ON,
THE HAIR IS JUST UNBELIEVABLE.
WE GOT TO GIVE IT UP FOR
THIS --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT IS A GREAT HAIRCUT.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS A GREAT --
THANK YOU.
>> IT'S GREAT.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU.
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST TOUPEES
THAT YOU CAN GET OFF OF AMAZON.
YOU KNOW WHAT I ALSO LIKE ABOUT
YOUR CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE IS
THAT YOU HAD A SILVER TOOTH.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: WAS THAT YOUR MOVE OR
THE DIRECTOR?
>> I WANTED TO HAVE A GAP
BETWEEN MY TWO FRONT TEETH.
BECAUSE I REALLY, REALLY WANTED
TO DO LIKE A FULL KIND OF --
>> Jimmy: YES!
>> "DUMB AND DUMBER" KIND OF
PERFORMANCE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WHICH IS VERY DIFFICULT TO
DO.
BUT I REALLY --
YEAH, AND IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO GET A REALISTIC-LOOKING
GAP -- IT JUST KEEPS RUBBING
OFF WHENEVER YOU PUT THE
PAINT --
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S RIGHT, HE
HAS BLACK PAINT.
>> SO I TRIED TO DO -- I GOT A
A GRILL.
>> Jimmy: YOU GOT A GRILL?
>> I GOT A GRILL, YEAH AND IT
KIND OF KEPT GETTING SMALLER
AND SMALLER, TO ONE TOOTH.
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU TRANSFORM AND
BECAME THAT VOICE AND
EVERYTHING WAS LIKE A GOOD.
LIKE A --
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW YOU DO IT BECAUSE
LIKE I KNOW YOU AND I JUST
THINK OF YOU.
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE FROM ENGLAND
AND YOU HAVE THAT VERY, VERY
POSH ACCENT AND VERY NICE AND
THAT'S WHAT I SEEN.
BUT THEN YOU COME ON AND YOU'RE
LIKE --
>> I LOVE YOUR IMITATION OF
WHAT YOU'RE HEARING --
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S AMAZING.
>> Jimmy: BUT THEN YOU DO THIS
NEW GUY LIKE, "I GOT TO MAKE
SURE I GOT --" I GO, "HOW IS HE
DOING THIS?"
WELL DONE.
>> YOU KNOW.
YOU'RE INCREDIBLE AT ACCENTS.
>> Jimmy: NO, STOP IT.
>> YOUR NEIL YOUNG ACCENT IS --
IT'S INSANE.
>> Jimmy: NO, I LOVE YOU SO
MUCH BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OH, NO, NO.
I COULD --
I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE A CLIP.
HERE'S ROBERT PATTINSON IN
"DAMSEL."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THAT'S YOUR WEDDING PRESENT.
THAT'S A MINIATURE HORSE, I
NAMED IT BUTTERSCOTCH, AFTER
ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CANDIES.
I KNOW WHOREHOUND'S YOUR ALL
TIME FAVORITE.
THAT DOESN'T SEEM SUITABLE A
A PET NAME.
I JUST WANTED TO PICK THE ONE
THAT SOUNDED THE BEST.
>> I DON'T WANT A WEDDING GIFT.
>> BUT I JUST WANTED TO PICK
SOMETHING SPECIAL AND
PERSONALIZED JUST TO SHOW YOU
HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.
YOU ALWAYS SAID THE MINIATURE
HORSE WAS THE CUTEST MOST
BEAUTIFUL CRITTERS YOU'VE EVER
SEEN.
>> I NEVER SAID THAT!
>> YES, YOU DID.
>> I NEVER SAID THAT!
>> YES, YOU DID.
YOU SAID IN ST. LOUIS!
>> I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE
THAT, AT MOST THEY WERE
INTERESTING-LOOKING.
>> WHAT?
>> STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY
MOUTH.
>> I WAS -- MA'AM, PLEASE
LISTEN TO ME.
I'M NOT ANY PART OF THIS.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
WHAT'S GOING ON.
>> HOLD ON.
HOLD ON NOW.
DON'T YOU HANG ME OUT TO DRY.
YOU TOLD ME, YOU TOLD ME YOU
BELIEVE IN LOVE.
>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ROBERT PATTINSON, EVERYBODY!
"DAMSEL" IS IN THEATERS FRIDAY.
PETE DAVIDSON JOINS US.
YOU GOING TO STICK AROUND FOR
PETE?
ALL RIGHT, COME ON BACK.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
PETE DAVIDSON JOINS US NEXT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: OUR NEXT GUEST IS ONE
OF THE STARS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE" AND YOU CAN ALSO SEE HIM
IN THE NEW MOVIE "SET IT UP"
WHICH IS STREAMING NOW ON
NETFLIX.
PLEASE WELCOME PETE DAVIDSON,
EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: PETE DAVIDSON.
>> HI.
>> Jimmy: GOOD TO SEE YOU, PAL.
NOW, YOU KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T
HAVE TO GET ENGAGED TO
ARIANNA GRANDE TO COME ON OUR
SHOW.
WE --
>> BUT I DID THOUGH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: YOU DID.
YES, YOU DID.
>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Jimmy: CONGRATULATIONS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: YOU --
>> THANKS.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WE LOVE HER
SO MUCH.
I LOVE YOU TOO.
>> YEAH, I FEEL LIKE I WON A
A CONTEST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU -- HOW
ARE YOU HANDLING IT ALL RIGHT
NOW?
>> IT'S [ BLEEP ] LIT JIMMY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: OH, MY.
PETE, I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT.
BUT YOU --
>> IT'S SO LIT.
IT'S SO FUNNY WALKING DOWN THE
STREET.
'CAUSE LIKE DUDES ARE WALKING
BY AND THEY'RE LIKE --
[ LAUGHTER ]
EVER SEE -- YOU EVER SEE THAT
DEREK JETER COMMERCIAL --
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WHERE HE WAS RETIRING?
AND EVERYBODY JUST KISSED HIS
HAT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT -- IT FEELS LIKE
THAT?
>> SOME DUDE CAME UP TO ME AND
WAS LIKE, "YO, MAN.
YOU LIKE GAVE ME HOPE."
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M LIKE, "I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS
THAT UGLY."
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOD.
>> JESUS.
>> Jimmy: OH, NO WAY.
NO, YEAH, I'M A LUCKY MOTHER
[ BLEEP ].
>> Jimmy: NO, YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY.
YOU REALLY, REALLY ARE.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S FANTASTIC.
WE LOVE YOU BOTH.
AND CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: AND -- HEY, JUST --
THIS COULD BE A GOOD PLACE TO
GET MARRIED, ON "THE TONIGHT
SHOW."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I'M JUST SAYING.
>> IT'S NOT HAPPENING FOR --
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER ]
>> SURE, WE COULD DO THAT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HOW PERFECT --
>> WHY DO PEOPLE CARE?
IT'S VERY WEIRD.
>> Jimmy: YOU THINK IT'S ODD?
>> IT'S WEIRD 'CAUSE THE
PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO PARDON
HIMSELF.
AND HE'S LIKE [ BLEEP ] A PORN
STAR.
IT'S JUST LIKE -- SHOULDN'T WE
CARE ABOUT THAT?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, NO.
NO.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, WE WANT TO KNOW -- WE WANT
TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.
>> OKAY.
>> Jimmy: WE WANT TO KNOW WHO
YOU'RE WEARING MAN.
>> COOL.
>> Jimmy: OBVIOUSLY, YEAH.
YOU KNOW ROB?
>> A LITTLE BIT, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> I'M JUST A -- I THINK HE IS
ONE OF THE GREATEST ACTORS OF
OUR GENERATION.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HE'S FANTASTIC.
>> HE'S INCREDIBLE.
AND, YEAH, HE'S JUST LIKE THE
SICKEST.
>> Jimmy: YOU BECAME OBSESSED
WITH ONE OF HIS FILMS.
>> OH, "GOOD TIME."
"GOOD TIME" IS --
YEAH, IT'S THE BEST MOVIE EVER
MADE.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I AM HERE TO PROMOTE "GOOD
TIME."
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: HIS MOVIE THAT'S
ALREADY OUT?
>> YEAH, NO.
IT'S SO GOOD.
IT'S LIKE THE BEST --
>> Jimmy: I SAW IT.
IT'S INSANE.
>> IT'S THE MOST INSANE, CRAZY
MOVIE I'VE SEEN.
>> Jimmy: WHO DIRECTED THE --
YOUR CO-STAR, RIGHT?
>> Robert: ONE OF THE CO-STARS,
THE GUY WHO PLAYS MY BROTHER IS
ONE OF THE DIRECTORS, JOSH AND
BENNY SAFDIE.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOLY MOLY, THAT IS A
A GOOD --
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: MOVIE.
AND THOSE GUYS -- WHICH ONE IS
IT?
JOSH OR BENNY SAFIDE, THE
BROTHER?
>> Robert: BENNY'S MY BROTHER,
YEAH.
HE'S ALSO AN AMAZING ACTOR.
>> Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH.
>> IT'S INSANE.
AND PRODUCED BY SE-BO, MY
FRIEND.
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: HOW DO YOU KNOW --
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I LOVE THAT YOUR SEGMENT IS
TURNING INTO ALL ABOUT
ROBERT PATTINSON.
>> WHAT, NO.
>> Jimmy: LET'S JUST TALK ABOUT
HIS MOVIE.
>> THAT'S WHY I CAME HERE,
OKAY?
ONE, I'M GOING TO PROMOTE A
A MOVIE I'M IN FOR TEN SECONDS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> WHICH IS GREAT BY THE WAY.
IT'S AMAZING.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
>> Jimmy: BUT --
>> GO SEE IT.
>> Jimmy: BUT, HE'S GREAT.
>> BUT HE SHOULD HAVE GOT AN
OSCAR.
IT WAS [ BLEEP ] SICK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, YEAH, I REALLY LOVE THIS
MOVIE SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: YOU ACTUALLY BROUGHT
A CLIP OF "GOOD TIME."
>> I DID.
I BROUGHT A CLIP OF "GOOD TIME"
THAT I WOULD LIKE TO ROLL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THIS IS A SCENE RIGHT AFTER ROB
AND HIS BROTHER HAVE ROBBED A
A BANK AND ONE OF THE DYE PACKS
IN THE MONEY --
>> Jimmy: WAIT, YOU'RE REALLY
SHOWING A CLIP FROM HIS MOVIE
"GOOD TIME?"
>> YEAH.
I'M SERIOUS, YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS ALREADY OUT
ON DVD.
YOU COULD STREAM IT.
>> YEAH, IT IS.
>> Jimmy: IT IS.
>> GO, GET IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> IT'S ON AMAZON.
>> Jimmy: ROBERT'S IN IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> IT'S THE BEST MOVIE EVER.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE FANTASTIC IN
IT.
>> SHOULD HAVE GOT AN OSCAR.
>> Jimmy: YOU SHOULD HAVE GOT
AN OSCAR FOR THIS ONE.
>> RIDICULOUS.
>> Robert: THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, ALRIGHT, SO,
YEAH.
>> SO, HERE'S ROBERT PATTINSON
AND BENNY SAFDIE IN "GOOD
TIME."
TAKE A LOOK.
♪♪♪
[ KNOCKING ]
>> YES, I'M GOING TO GET
SOMETHING.
JUST GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.
>> COME OUT.
COME OUT NOW.
♪♪♪
>> NICK, WHAT THE [ BLEEP ] YOU
DOING?
GET IN SYNC.
>> WATCH YOUR HEAD.
>> COME ON!
FIVE SECONDS, I CALL THE
POLICE.
>> IT'S EITHER RED OR PINK DYE,
OKAY?
>> MY BROTHER IS MENTALLY
HANDICAPPED.
I'M NOT GOING TO PAY FOR THE
CONSTRUCTION TRUCK THAT HIT HIM
ON THE HEAD.
I'M GOING TO COME OUT IN ONE
SECOND.
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, ALL
RIGHT?
PLEASE, GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES.
♪♪♪
>> THESE PANTS GOT DYE ALL OVER
THEM.
>> I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE
THEM OR NOT.
I GOTTA GET THEM OFF RIGHT NOW.
SWEATPANTS IN HERE.
THAT'S WHY YOU WORE THEM.
HURRY UP.
LACE THEM UP.
[ KNOCKING ]
YES!
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A GREAT CLIP.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I WISH WE COULD SHOW MORE.
>> Jimmy: HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
SEEN IT?
>> I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE
30 TIMES.
I SWEAR I'D WATCH IT ALL THE
TIME.
>> Jimmy: THAT THING ON YOUR
SHIRT RIGHT NOW?
>> OH, YEAH.
THIS IS -- YEAH, DUDE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THIS IS -- YOU'RE
OBSESSED WITH THIS.
THIS IS INSANE.
>> WHAT?
I LOVE IT.
WHAT?
I'M VERY INTO IT.
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S GREAT.
>> IT IS REALLY GREAT.
>> Jimmy: I THINK IT'S FUNNY
THAT YOU'RE HERE TO PROMOTE HIS
MOVIE.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I WANT TO TALK A
A LITTLE ABOUT YOU.
AND SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU.
JUST -- YOU CAN PLUG YOUR EARS
IF YOU WANT TO.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: CONGRATS ON
EVERYTHING ON "SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE."
>> OH, THANKS.
YEAH, I'M ON THERE SOMETIMES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I'M IN THE BACKGROUND.
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT IN THE
BACKGROUND.
PLEASE.
>> NO, I'M LIKE THAT GUY THAT
JUST COMES IN THAT'S LIKE, "I
GOT PIZZA."
AND THEN, IT'S LIKE GONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: NO.
>> FOR THE REST OF THE -- YEAH.
>> Jimmy: TUCCI GANG WAS BIG.
>> OH, YEAH, THANK YOU.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS GOOD.
THAT WAS VERY COOL.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S -- YOU WERE
ONE OF THE YOUNGEST CAST
MEMBERS EVER TO BE ON THAT
SHOW.
DO YOU KNOW THAT?
>> YEAH, I GUESS.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> YEAH.
THANK YOU.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I'M LIKE THE FOURTH THOUGH.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
RIGHT?
>> Jimmy: OH, NO, IT MATTERS,
YOU'RE ON SOME TYPE OF LIST.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> COOL.
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S THE
TATTOO?
>> YES, I GOT A -- YEAH.
>> Jimmy: I SEEN IT ON THE
NEWS.
>> YEAH, I DID TOO APPARENTLY.
>> Jimmy: IT'S THE NUMBER ONE
STORY.
>> APPARENTLY WHEN I TAKE A
A [ BLEEP ] IT'S LIKE THE NEWS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: I ALREADY READ THAT.
THAT'S OLD NEWS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: ACTUALLY -- YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH.
WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE THE FOURTH -- YOU KNOW
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT WORD ON
TELEVISION.
>> OH, HEY MAN, YOU ASKED ME TO
BE ON HERE, LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN?
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T DO THESE THINGS VERY
MUCH.
THIS IS WHY.
>> Jimmy: BUT YOU KNOW THE
RULES OF TELEVISION, DON'T YOU?
>> I DON'T.
VERY POOR --
I KNOW "SNL" --
>> Jimmy: YOU WORK ON "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE."
[ TALKING OVER EACH OTHER ]
>> I COULD GET FIRED FROM
THERE.
I CAN'T GET FIRED FROM YOUR
SHOW.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: YES, YOU CAN!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> I DON'T CARE.
>> Jimmy: YOU ARE FIRED!
GET OUT OF HERE!
NOTHING CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.
>> THIS IS MY FIRST AND LAST
"TONIGHT SHOW" APPEARANCE.
NO, IT'S FINE.
I'LL GO ON SETH.
I DON'T GIVE A [ BLEEP ].
>> Jimmy: YOU COULD GO ON SETH.
>> I ACTUALLY HAVE SETH'S
NUMBER.
I DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER.
SO, I'M SAYING --
[ AUDIENCE OOHS ]
>> Jimmy: AND YOU'RE NEVER
GOING TO GET IT EITHER.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, I'LL CALL
ARIANNA.
[ AUDIENCE OOHS ]
WE'RE GOOD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I'M FOREVER LIKE KNOWN AS
LIKE HER PLUS ONE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: DUDE --
>> OH, THERE'S ACTUALLY WATER
IN THIS [ BLEEP ].
>> Jimmy: YOU REALLY ARE GOING
TO GET FIRED.
>> IT'S MY LAST TIME.
I'M ENJOYING EVERY SECOND.
>> Jimmy: EVERY SECOND OF THIS.
PETE, YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING
THAT YOU'RE IN THOUGH.
>> OH, YES.
I'M IN THIS MOVIE CALLED "SET
IT UP."
IT'S ON NETFLIX.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YES.
IT'S --
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE BECOME A WHOLE
DIFFERENT CHARACTER.
>> YEAH, IT'S DOING QUITE WELL.
I'M IN IT FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS.
BUT IT IS A GREAT MOVIE.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> AND YOU SHOULD SEE IT FOR
THE OTHER GREAT ACTORS THAT ARE
IN IT.
SO, I THINK -- WE HAVE A CLIP
OF THAT AS WELL?
>> Jimmy: AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE
JUST RUNNING THE SHOW.
>> NO, IT'S A HILARIOUS MOVIE.
YOU SHOULD SEE IT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH, HERE'S
PETE DAVIDSON IN "SET IT UP."
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
>> SUSAN'S COMING OVER.
THAT'S NICE.
>> WHY DID YOU SAY IT LIKE
THAT?
WHY'D YOUR VOICE GO UP?
>> 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, SHE -- SHE
SUCKS.
>> WHAT?
>> IF TAKE AWAY HER FACE AND
HER BOOBS, YOU KIND OF REALIZE
SHE'S NOT SAYING ANYTHING.
>> THAT'S THE MOST HETEROPHOBIC
THING I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HER.
>> WELL, HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW
HER?
>> I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT
SUSE.
ALL RIGHT?
WE TALK ALL THE TIME.
I TEXT HER ALL DAY.
>> LIKE?
>> SHE'S FROM PUERTO RICO.
SHE'S A MODEL.
SHE USES LA MER PRODUCTS.
SHE DOESN'T LIKE DAIRY.
THERE YOU GO.
>> ALRIGHT, WELL, WHAT DO YOU
DO IF YOU WANT TO HAVE AN
INTIMATE, MEANINGFUL
CONVERSATION WITH SOMEBODY?
>> I TALK TO YOU.
>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M FOR.
THAT'S WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S
FOR.
SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BEST
FRIEND.
>> THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
I'VE NEVER EVEN POOPED AT HER
APARTMENT.
>> WELL, WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?
SHOULD HAVE DID THAT THE FIRST
DATE, MARK YOUR TERRITORY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: PETE DAVIDSON,
EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THE LAST APPEARANCE OF
PETE DAVIDSON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU WERE GREAT.
>> I'M SORRY.
>> Jimmy: NO, WE LOVE YOU.
PLEASE, CHECK OUT "SET IT UP"
ON NETFLIX.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUSIC
FROM BROCKHAMPTON.
STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: TUNE IN TOMORROW
NIGHT, HE'S THE HOST OF THE
"THE $100,000 PYRAMID."
MICHAEL STRAHAN WILL BE JOINING
US.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
PLUS, DAVE MATTHEWS AND NEW
MUSIC FROM DAVE MATTHEWS BAND
TOMORROW NIGHT!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
VERY EXCITING.
BUT FIRST, MAKING THEIR LATE
NIGHT TV DEBUT, PERFORMING
"TONYA" FROM UPCOMING ALBUM
"THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES,"
GIVE IT UP FOR BROCKHAMPTON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
♪ MOTHER I AM SORRY
I NEVER PICK UP
MMM
BECAUSE I'M AFRAID ♪
♪ TO DISAPPOINT
OOH
OH NO
AND I'VE BEEN FEELING ♪
♪ LIKE I DON'T MATTER
HOW I USED TO
AND I'VE BEEN FEELING
LIKE I DON'T MATTER ♪
♪ HOW I USED TO
WE WERE SAT OUTSIDE
ON THE HARVARD FLOOR
WITH OUR FEET IN DIRT ♪
♪ AND OUR HEARTS
IN AWE I BE
LOSING SLEEP THINKING
'BOUT MISSED CALLS ♪
♪ AND I SEE THE NAMES
CIRCLING OUR THOUGHTS
AND I THINK ABOUT
IF WE LOSE IT ALL ♪
♪ AND I TURN TO
THAT YOU'D NEVER
WANT LIKE THE
SMOKE THE DRINK ANYTHING ♪
♪ AT ALL AND I'LL
SAY AGAIN SORRY
I DON'T CALL
THERE'S NO MONEY ♪
♪ ON MY MIND
BUT MY MONEY OR MY MIND
WHAT'S THE FIRST TO FALL
I NEVER WANTED THIS ♪
♪ YEAH
AND I'VE BEEN FEELIN'
LIKE I DON'T MATTER
HOW I USED TO ♪
♪ AND I'VE BEEN FEELIN'
LIKE I DON'T MATTER
HOW I USED TO
SOMETIMES ♪
♪ IT BE SO SPOT ON
IT HURTS
LIKE WHEN AUNTIE
COULDN'T DECIDE BETWEEN ♪
♪ GOING TO WORK OR
CHURCH I BEEN
IN MY FEELINGS
ON AN ISLAND ♪
♪ IN THE DIRT
I FEEL LIKE
BROTHERS LIE JUST SO MY
FEELINGS DON'T GET HURT ♪
♪ I SAID I'LL TRY VACATION
I'LL TRY TO RUNAWAY
I DELETED FACEBOOK
I'LL TRADE FAME ANY DAY ♪
♪ FOR A QUIET TEXAS PLACE
AND A BBQ PLATE
I'LL SWITCH MY PLATES
IF THAT'S GOOD FOR YA ♪
♪ IS THAT GOOD FOR YA
MY GHOST STILL HAUNT YA
MY LIFE IS I TONYA
A BIG EYED MONSTER ♪
♪ I ONLY FACE TO CONQUER
I HATED SONGS ABOUT FAME
'CAUSE THAT STUFF
MEANT NOTHING ♪
♪ UNTIL THEM HEADLINES CAME
THEN FIRST FLIGHT
I'LL JUMP IN
MAYBE IT MEANS NOTHING ♪
♪ BUT I HAVE TO SAY
I THINK ABOUT YOU OFTEN
AND IF YOU WANT NO PART
WITH ME I'LL WALK AWAY ♪
♪ I KNOW THAT I
HAVE WRONGED YOU
MAYBE IT MEANS NOTHING
BUT I HAVE TO SAY ♪
♪ I THINK ABOUT YOU OFTEN
AND IF YOU WANT NO PART
WITH ME I'LL WALK AWAY
I KNOW THAT I ♪
♪ HAVE WRONGED YOU
I TOOK A PLANE TO SOMEWHERE
THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN
TOO MANY TIMES WITHOUT ♪
♪ MY SISTER AND MY BROTHER
DAD OR MOTHER BY MY SIDE
BUT THERE IN SPIRIT
I ALWAYS HEAR IT ♪
♪ I KNOW THEY FEEL IT
MY MOM WOULD ALWAYS HAVE
THESE DREAMS THAT KEEP
HER UP AT NIGHT ♪
♪ I SMOKE TO KEEP
THEM ALL AWAY AND MAKE
USE OF THE TIME
I'M VOID OF FEELING ♪
♪ THE REASONS I'M SO OUT
OF TOUCH NOW START REVEALING
BUT I'M NOT ASHAMED
I'M NOT AFRAID OF WHO I AM ♪
♪ OR HOW I TRUST MY MENTAL
YEAH IT'S NOT PERFECT
BUT I GUESS THAT'S JUST
THE LIFE I'M INTO ♪
♪ I FANTASIZE ABOUT A TIME
WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SIMPLE
MY SHELTER SHELTERED ME
FROM THINGS I NEEDED ♪
♪ TO COMMIT TO
THE WAY IT STANDS TO ME
A VICTIM OF STOCKHOLM IN
MY FRIENDSHIPS AND FAMILY ♪
♪ WHAT'S COSTING YOU TIME
WHAT'S THE REASON
THAT YOU WHINE
WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET ♪
♪ DEAD WHITES IN MINE
SO SOUR
IN THIS LIGHT OF LIME
DADDY SAID STUDY HARD ♪
♪ OR GET THAT CASH
MOMMY SAID YOUR CAREER
AIN'T GONNA LAST
LOOSE CHANGE COLLARED CAT ♪
♪ MOVED OUT THEIR PAD
I JUST NEED A CHANCE
TO MOVE PAST MY PAST
DON'T THINK TOO FAST ♪
♪ PRIVATE JETS STILL CRASH
AND I STILL FLY COACH
AND I'LL STILL HIT A ROACH
AND I STILL SEE ROACHES ♪
♪ AT THE CRIB WHERE
MY FOLKS AT
TOUCH YOUR DREAMS ♪
♪ BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME
AND PROVOKE A MAN ♪
>> SOMEBODY GONNA HAVE TO TELL
THE TRUTH AND I'M GONNA TELL
IT.
♪ AND I BEEN FEELING LIKE
I DON'T MATTER
HOW I USED TO
HOW I USED TO ♪
♪ I DON'T MATTER
FEELING LIKE I DON'T MATTER
I DON'T MATTER
HOW I USED TO ♪
♪ HOW I USED TO
HOW I USED TO ♪
♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
BROCKHAMPTON!
JAZMINE SULLIVAN!
SERPENT WITH FEET!
RYAN BEATTY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪
>> Jimmy: MY THANKS TO
ROBERT PATTINSON,
PETE DAVIDSON, BROCKHAMPTON.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND THE ROOTS RIGHT THERE FROM
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.
STAY TUNED FOR "LATE NIGHT WITH
SETH MEYERS."
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING.
HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU TOMORROW.
BYE-BYE, EVERYBODY.
BROCKHAMPTON!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪