你们知道吗 很多人都说 You know--you know, a lot of people said
我们永远也赢不了峡谷队 we'd never beat Valley,
但是今晚我们证明了他们说错了 but we proved them wrong tonight!
在过去的15年中 For the past 15 years,
我一直觉得我该拯救这个队伍 I thought I needed to save this team,
但是 事实上 but, well, the truth is,
真正需要被救赎的 the one who really needed saving,
你们知道是谁吗 you know who he was?
他 He--
大家好 我们回来了 What's up? We're back.
是我 其实是我 Me. It was me.
我都不知道你们会来 I didn't know you guys were coming.
这可是返校日啊 Oh, it's homecoming weekend.
我们也想赶上 - Yeah. - Wish we could have
看比赛啊 但是来这里的路上 seen the game, but on the way here
- 我们在车上打了一炮 - 车胎漏气了 we had sex in the limo. - We got a flat tire.
快来 快来 - Mm. - Come on, come on,
坐下 你们快坐下 let's sit down, you guys. Let's sit down.
瞧瞧这里 - Oh, look at this.
回来的感觉真好 It's so great to be back.
这个地方承载着我太多美好的回忆 Oh, I have so many fond memories of this place.
我就是在这里被加冕为返校女王的啊 I mean, this is where I was crowned homecoming queen.
出于某种原因 卡西·卡塞姆也一直 And where Casey Kasem kept hosting those
在这里举办全国电视舞蹈比赛 nationally televised dance contests for some reason.
伙计们 这些往事讲一天也讲不完 Guys, we can talk about old times all day,
我现在想听点新鲜事 讲两句 预备州长 but I wanna hear what's new. Come on, Governor Preppie.
管理加州感觉怎样 Tell us what it's like running California.
我遇见一个地震学家 Well, I met with a seismologist
他说下一次地震 who said our next earthquake
将会是一场史无前例的灾难 will be an extinction-level event.
幸存者将生不如死 Everyone who survives will wish they had died.
还记得我们上次给斯克里奇打扮成外星人吗 Hey, remember when we dressed Screech up as an alien?
- 当然记得 - 简直惊艳啊 - Oh, totally. - That was the best.
你们也都知道 每年 As you know, every year
我们都会在体育馆举办大型返校募捐活动 we throw a big homecoming fundraiser in the gym.
但今晚的活动规模比之前还要大 But tonight's event will be an even bigger deal than usual.
我刚收到消息说 I have just received word that in attendance
加州州长和第一夫人也会出席 will be the First Lady and the governor of California.
我重复一遍 州长 Again, the governor--
麦克的爸爸 有啥可吃惊的 Mac's dad? Big deal.
我爸也会来 My dad's also coming.
你爸来不来我不感兴趣 斯宾塞 I don't care about your dad, Spencer.
我只关心扎克和凯莉 知道吗 I only care about Zack and Kelly, okay?
我们来分配一下志愿者的任务 Let's move on to the volunteer assignments.
我需要几个人来帮忙泊车 I'm gonna need a couple of folks to work valet.
布雷登 艾莎和杰米负责 That looks like Braden and Aisha and Jamie.
没问题 我们有背心吗 All right. Can we get vests?
万一我胳膊冷怎么办 可以有长袖背心吗 Ooh, what if my arms get cold? Can our vests have arms?
我们还需要几个人来 Also, we're gonna need volunteers
负责土豆泥吧台 to man the mashed potato bar.
纳迪亚 德万特 我们还需要有人 Nadia, Devante, and we're also gonna need volunteers
帮莱克茜去筹集下善款 for fundraising to help Lexi.
- 感谢 罗恩 - 长话短说吧 - Thank you, Ron. - A speech is not necessary.
我们需要给贝赛德改善基金 We will be collecting donations for
募集一些善款 the Bayside Enrichment Fund.
家委会利用这些钱帮我们置办一些新电脑 The PTA uses this money to make Bayside better for all of us
改善贝赛德高中的情况 同时也会给食堂阿姨 by purchasing things like new computers and breast reductions
提供缩胸手术的支持 for the lunch ladies.
我需要几位不辞辛劳 I will require a fleet of dedicated minions
对口头谩骂免疫的小伙伴来帮忙 who are immune to verbal abuse.
那么 有谁愿意 So...who's in?
有人愿意吗 Any volunteers?
有人吗 我只需要一个人 Anyone? I just need one person.
所以没人举手的吗 So no one's gonna raise their hand?
莱克茜 为什么你不想让我帮你 Lexi. Hey, Lexi. Why don't you want my help?
不是我针对你 只是觉得你可能 Oh, it's nothing personal. I just think you'll be bad
不太适合做募捐 因为你就是这种人啊 at fundraising because of who you are as a person.
我想告诉你 之前青年会的夏令营 Um, I'll have you know I sold the most candy bars
糖果棒属我卖的最多 而且他们给我的还都是 for my YMCA summer camp, and the box they gave me
普通口味 不带脆皮的 was, like all plains, no crunchies.
听着 贝赛德募捐可不一样 Listen, Bayside fundraising is a different animal.
跪舔有钱人 Sucking up to rich people,
不让他们知道你的真实感受 hiding how you really feel about them--
这事你做不来 that's not exactly your thing.
你们好 我这募捐之星进展如何了啊 Hey, there, how's my fundraising star doing?
非常顺利 亨廷顿·斯内尔夫人 Great, Mrs. Huntington-Snell.
我们一定可以超过去年记录的 We're gonna beat last year's record--I just know it.
黛西 Daisy.
怎么 她又不知道我在说什么 What? She doesn't know what I said.
其实我能听懂 Yes, I do.
我在巴泰洛纳留学过 I studied abroad in "Barthelona."
听着 我们都知道杰德这人糟糕透了 Look, we both know Jade sucks,
但我们需要她还有其他校友给学校捐款 but we need her and the other alumni's money for the school.
这可不太好 That just doesn't seem right.
就像我的XXXX总是说 如果你和蛇躺在一起 Like my abuela always says, if you lie in bed with snakes,
那你被咬的时候也就别惊讶 don't be surprised when you get bit.
XXXX Well, take it from someone who was bitten by a snake
XXXX while making a Britney Spears TikTok.
就是这么做的 你要不停拍马屁 This is how it works. You need to kiss ass
才能拿到有钱人的钱 我就知道你做不了 to get rich people's money, and I knew you couldn't do it,
因为你有道德感这类东西 'cause you have "morels" or whatever.
- 道德感 - 你是这么说的吧 - Morals? - Is that how you say it? Ew.
不 如果学校急需钱 No, if the school needs money,
我会帮你搞到的 不管什么代价 I'll help you get it, whatever it takes.
行吧 欢迎入伙 Okay, fine. Welcome aboard.
别穿这件衣服 Don't wear that.
昨晚玩得挺开心的 So last night was fun.
对啊 就像回到过去一样 Yeah, just like old times,
就是 不算开心 except, like, not fun.
感觉也不太像以前那样了 And really not like old times.
为什么这么奇怪 Why was it so weird?
额 Huh.
是不是我们打扮得太靓丽了 Were we being too sexy?
噢 我们一直这么光彩亮丽 Oh, we're always too sexy.
你有没有觉得斯莱特一直在调侃我 And did you feel like Slater kept taking
就像 他一直叫我 little jabs at me, like calling me
预备州长 还一直说我没有父亲之类的 Governor Preppie and bragging about not having a dad bod.
我想说 XXXX I mean, I have a single man bod, right?
亲爱的 你可是被选为全美第二热门的州长 Honey, you were voted second-hottest governor
仅次于密歇根州的格雷琴·惠特默 in America after Michigan's Gretchen Whitmer.
还有 你发现没有 杰西一直在嚷嚷 And also, did you notice that Jessie kept going on
她的那本书 and on about her books
她对我的工作什么都没问 and didn't ask me one question about my business?
肯定是她觉得这太蠢了 I bet she thinks it's stupid.
这怎么能叫愚蠢 Uh, how can it be stupid?
XXXX It came to you in a dream,
XXXX and your psychic said it was rad.
行了 不要想这些不开心的 You know, enough negativity.
让这些不愉快和尴尬都见鬼去吧 We got all of the awkwardness out of the way.
今晚一定很棒 I bet tonight is gonna be great.
我的天 你加油自信的时候简直太迷人了 Man, it is so hot when you're cheerful and optimistic.
我这一生中有幸能只遇见你 I'm so glad you're the only woman
是我莫大的荣耀 I've ever been with in my entire life.
噢 Oh.
我做到了 Okay, I've got it,
完美的返校恶作剧 the perfect homecoming prank.
我必须把整个学校左移5英尺 No, I would have to move the whole school 5 feet
可我没时间了 to the left, and I don't have time for that!
你为什么就想不到这个呢 小麦克 废物 Why can't you think of a prank, Little Mac, you hot loser?
嘿 伙计 准备好出发了吗 Hey, pal, you ready to go?
哇哦 你看起来帅呆了 both: Whoa, you look amazing,
你的发型也很酷 and your hair is fire.
爸爸你能来简直太好了 It's awesome you're here for homecoming, Dad.
噢 我知道 我非常想你 Oh, I know. I miss you so much.
萨克拉曼多糟透了 Sacramento sucks.
我就希望首都可以稍微酷一点 I wish the capital could be somewhere cool
就像马里布或格罗夫那样 like Malibu or the Grove.
我也很想你 这很难 I miss you too. It's hard...
- 给我一会时间 - 好的 - Ugh, give me two seconds. - Okay.
是的 Yeah.
为什么泥石流还控制不住 Well, how are the mudslides still out of control?
我们就不能把它们吹干吗 Can't we just dry them up or something?
我怎么知道 就像用一百万个吹风机那样 I don't know, with like a million hair dryers.
我可不是什么科学家 罗伊 I'm not a scientist, Roy.
行吧 有事再联系我 Okay. Keep me posted.
罗伊 Roy.
- 罗伊 - 对吗 - Roy. - Right?
对 Right.
你知道吗 我在你这个年纪的时候 满脑子想的 You know, when I was your age, my biggest problem
都是在返校日该搞什么恶作剧 was choosing which prank to pull for homecoming.
是的 我也这么觉得 Yeah, I feel that.
所以今晚你有什么好的计划吗 So you got something good planned for tonight?
我其实在想 I was actually thinking,
如果今年我没有做恶作剧 what if I didn't do a prank this year?
你知道吗 因为所有人都在指望我 You know, 'cause everyone's expecting me to do something,
做点什么事情的时候 我却什么都没做 and then if I don't do anything,
这就是最好的恶作剧了 that's the greatest prank of all.
是的 Yeah, right.
在我就职典礼前你也是这么说 That's what you said before my inauguration,
最后我还是把手放在一叠花花公子 and I ended up getting sworn in with my hand
杂志上宣誓就职的 on a stack of "Playboys."
在周六的时候XXXX So on Saturdays I do arms.
现在 人们会说需要周日放假来好好恢复下 Now, people say to take Sunday off as a recovery day,
可之后 大多数人都不喜欢这样 but then again, most people don't look like this.
你呢 预备州长 What about you, Governor Preppie?
你最近还经常去体育馆吗 You, uh, getting to the gym much these days or what?
不 最近不常去 因为 Not really, you know, 'cause my schedule's
我的日程太满了 just so packed.
我想说 州长没有暑假 I mean, it's just too bad the governor
这太糟糕了 doesn't get summers off.
那你肯定也很忙吧 凯莉 So you must be pretty busy too, Kelly.
你的新公司怎样 What's going on with your new company?
其实 它更像是一个健康品牌 Well, it's more of a wellness brand.
我们致力于通过行为表现和XXXX Our mission is to encourage positivity through
来让人们保持积极向上的态度 manifestation and actualized optimism.
噢 听起来很酷 所以公司名字叫什么 Oh, that's so cool. So what is the company?
其实 它更像是一个健康品牌 Well, it's more of a wellness brand.
- 公司名字是快乐博士 还有 - 等等 - It's called Dr. Happy, and-- - Wait.
- 谁是医生 - 我 我就是乐观博士 - Who's the doctor? - Me. I'm a doctor of optimism.
但你不能自称是博士 But you can't call yourself doctor.
我的意思是 我是一个博士 I mean, I'm a doctor,
这是因为我获得了教育心理学的博士学位 but I got my PhD in educational psychology.
其实 博士就像是一个标签 就像纯天然那种意思 Actually, "doctor" is just a label, like "all-natural."
噢 我有说我们其实有在卖 Oh, did I mention that we're actually selling
纯天然的复兴补品吗 an all-natural rejuvenation supplement?
对 这就是本博士大力推荐的 Yeah, it's doctor recommended...by me.
其实 博士不仅仅只是一个标签 Except "doctor" is not just a "label."
这其实是一个职称 你必须要 It's a title that you earn through years
经过数年的努力工作才能拿到 and years of hard work.
现在就是我最想看到的 Now, this is what I like to see,
我们一群人又回来聚在一起了 the old gang back together again.
别忘了 校友合照是在10点钟 Don't forget, the alumni photo's at 10:00.
10点钟 不要忘了 It's at 10:00, so don't forget.
我们一定准时到 罗恩 别担心 We'll be there, Ron. Don't worry.
你们之前有见过吗 Have you guys met before?
当然 莫里斯州长 能再见到你真是荣幸 Of course. Governor Morris, so good to see you again.
罗恩·托德曼 Ron Toddman.
有了一阵子了 你看起来不错 It's been a while. You look great.
谢谢 托德曼先生 Well, thank you, Mr. Toadman.
额 如果不介意 我想打个电话 Uh, if you'll excuse me, uh, I have to take a call.
罗恩·托德曼 这怎么可能忘呢 - Ron-Ron Toddman? Of course.
我喜欢这人 他怎么样 I love that guy. How's he doing?
不太好 他对我们印象不好 - Uh, yeah, not great. Uh, he sort of hates us,
因为我们把他给忘了 'cause we kind of forget he existed.
你们都把他忘了 - You all forgot him?
杰西 你把沙滩车开 Jessie, he saved your life
海里去的时候 人家救了你的命 when you ran your ATV into the ocean.
- 天啊 - 想起来了 - My God. - Yes.
天呐 可能是我们太自私了 - Oh, God. Maybe we are kind of selfish.
你们几个想办法弥补人家 - Well, you guys are gonna have to find a way
一下吧 to make it up to him.
我得挂了 I've got to go.
我的情人都醒了 My lovers are waking up.
再见 Au revoir.
再见 all: Au revoir.
我们还真是混蛋啊 - Oh, man, we--ooh, we really suck.
所以 你去看过电影没 - So, uh, you ever been to a movie?
没听清 再说一遍呗 - What? Say it again?
算了 我就是问你会看 - Nah, it's just, like, you know, what kind of movies
哪种电影 you be at, though?
抱歉 还是没明白你的意思 - I'm so sorry. I still don't understand you.
不 就是 - Nah, just, like--
- 你猜怎么着 - 你可回来了 - Guess what. - Thank God.
- I rigged that giant pot of gravy above the stage.
你说什么 - Say what?
- When my dad takes his place for the alumni photo,
我按下这个按钮 I hit this little button, and bam, gravy town, USA.
在你看来 我们父子关系一定很融洽 So by your logic, I obviously don't have issues with my dad,
不然我也没机会弄这么一出 or else I wouldn't have been able to pull off
恶作剧出来 是吧 this awesome prank. Right?
伙计 我还没那么了解你 - Look, man, I don't know you that well.
扎心了啊 - Uh, that hurt.
咱们不是铁哥们吗 I thought we were really good friends.
- If you say you don't have issues with your dad,
then maybe you don't, but pranker's block or not,
if you want to spend more time with him,
you--you have to ask him.
不过我懂 挺可怕的 But I get it. It's, like--it's scary,
要是被他拒绝可怎么办 and what if he says no?
确实挺可怕 - Yeah, it is scary...
how consistently wrong you've been about my problems.
- Okay. I'm gonna go pour gravy
on my dad and make everything better.
- Well, good luck. - You actually don't say
good luck in the prank community.
You say, "And a pie in your face, my comrade."
没可能的 - I'm not gonna say that.
你要真说了 才奇怪呢 - Well, it'd be weird if you did.
你都不在社群 You're not in the community.
凯莉 这也太不好了 - Kelly, I feel so bad.
我懂 我也是刚想起来了 - I know. I just remembered.
托德曼好像是把他奶奶的钢琴当做结婚礼物 I think Toddman gave us his grandmother's piano
送给了我们 as a wedding present.
不不不 是我跟你说的话 - No, no, no, no, about what I said to you.
帮助他人也不需要多高的学位 You don't need a fancy degree to help people.
Being a doctor has always just been my thing,
我就是感觉到了危机 and I think I just felt threatened.
被我威胁到 - Threatened by me?
杰西 最初就是你鼓励我 Oh, Jessie, you're the one who inspired me
去闯荡一番啊 to want a career in the first place.
Whenever I have to psyche myself up,
I read an excerpt from your book,
"Too Tall to Fail."
- You do? Oh, Kelly.
Well, you're an inspiration to me too.
You and Zack seem so happy.
I mean, you guys have really figured it out. Rene and I--
- Is everything okay? - Not really.
He admitted in our last therapy session
that he was having an emotional affair
with a character from his novel.
I think she's pregnant now.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah.
- And it must be especially hard since you work here.
- Oh, no, I love working here.
I get to be close to Jamie and help the kids.
- Oh, I just meant it must be hard because Slater
is obviously still in love with you.
- What? Wait, no.
You are--wait, no.
Say it again. No, don't, don't.
- Do you think about him? - Kelly, I'm married.
- So...do you think the boys made up?
- I don't know.
Those two have always been competitive,
and it's harder for guys to express their emotions.
- I just feel so bad about Ron-Ron.
Oh, everyone should get to have friends like I did.
- No, everyone should get to have friends like you do.
- Friends forever?
- Friends for--oh, my God.
I think I know how we can make it up to Ron.
- All right, look, we only have this photographer
for ten more minutes, so we just gotta get this done.
- Wait, wait, there's four friends
you almost forgot about.
- That's right, Ron, and we have a message for you,
a message about friendship and the amount of time
that it lasts.
A-one, two, three!
all: * Friends forever *
* We'll be friends *
both: * We'll be friends *
* Talking about *
all: * Friends forever *
- Hey! Stop it!
Stop singing!
What is this?
Look, I just wanted to get one photograph
and to be acknowledged as a human being.
Why are you doing this to me?
- We're just trying to say we're sorry.
- So say sorry.
What's this song? - You know, this is our
hit song from the famous rock band we were in.
Oh, you know why this means nothing to you
that I'm just realizing now?
Our band was only famous in a dream that I had.
- Mm. - Just get in the picture.
And now that you're wearing these dumb costumes,
I can't even use this in the brochure.
- Get ready, Dad.
- On the count of three, one, two--
- Wait, wait, wait, hold on, Ron.
Again, we are so sorry. Why don't you come join us?
Come in this picture, pal. - Yeah, yeah.
- You're part of this class. Come on.
- Come on. Take my spot, front and center. Come on.
- All right, fine. - There we go.
- Oh, no, no...
- One, two, three.
- Oh! - Oh...
You...
guys.
Was this whole night you pranking me?
Oh, man,
you got me!
You--you really got me!
Wait, wait, when did you realize who I was?
- We've known the entire time.
Friends forever.
- Man, it's great to be back
with the old gang.
- There he is. Killer prank, Mac.
I'm gonna try that on my lieutenant governor.
Dude hates me so much.
- Thanks, Dad. - Yeah.
Oh, Mom's gonna take you home, okay?
I gotta get to the "choppa."
You okay?
- Hell, yeah. I just pulled the prank of a lifetime.
- Yeah, you did.
That's my boy.
- Hey, Dad. - Yeah, son.
- Do you think when you get back,
we could do a prank together?
I heard of this crazy one where we take a baseball,
and I throw it into your hands, and you throw it into mine,
and we do it until it gets dark,
and then Mom's like, "Come in for dinner, boys,"
and then we eat together...
you know, like as a prank.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
A pie in your face, my comrade.
- A pie in your face, my comrade.
- Hey, Nadia.
- Hey.
- Um, d--
- "The Secret Life of Pets 2."
- What?
- Is a movie I've been at, though.
- Oh. Cool.
- Hey.
- Valet went great.
- No, no, it didn't.
How was fundraising? - Oh, Daisy killed it.
She collected so much money, and made four old men cry.
I'm just so proud of you.
- Guess I really am a Bayside kid.
- Good evening.
Jade Huntington-Snell, Tanner's mom.
I am so overwhelmed by the generosity in this room.
We have surpassed our goal
for the Bayside Enrichment Fund tonight.
But in the true spirit of charity, the PTA,
as led by me,
has chosen to put it toward a different
but equally important cause-- reopening Douglas High.
- I'm confused. That sounded bad,
but she said it in a happy way, so was that good?
- No, it is not.
- It means they're kicking us out of Bayside
and sending us back to Douglas.
- Oh, my God, you were right.
We laid down with snakes.
- And we got bit.
* Friends forever *
- * We'll be friends forever *
* We'll be friends *
* With you everywhere *
- * Talking about *
* Friends forever *
- * Always be there *
* Always will be friends *
all: * We'll be there *
- * Through it all, hangin' tough *
- * We'll stay side by side *
* We'll be friends forever *
all: * Till the end of time *
* Friends forever *
- * Always be friends *
- * With you everywhere *
- * We'll be friends together *
* Friends forever *
* Oh, oh, oh, oh *
- That was the best song you ever wrote, Zack.