-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION AND CARTOON NETWORK
[ BEEPING ]
[ CHEWING ]
MM-MMM!
AHH!
HEY, WHEN'S NUMBUH 1 COMING BACK FROM HIS TOP-SECRET MISSION?
I DON'T KNOW. HE DIDN'T SAY.
YOU KNOW HOW MYSTERIOUS HE LIKE TO BE.
I WISH I COULD GO ON A SECRET MISSION.
I'D BE ALL, "WHAM! AND KABLOOP!
AND --" AAH!
OOH! OH!
Together: [ Monotone ] HELLO, KIDS NEXT DOOR,
WE'RE HERE TO FINALLY STRIKE YOUR POSTERIORS
WITH OUR FEET.
[ Muffled] YOU'RE HERE TO WHAT?!
KICK YOUR BUTTS.
AAH!
ALL RIGHT, YOU CREEPS. LET'S -- OH!
NEXT.
UH, NO, I --
HEY! YOU DIDN'T START THE FIGHT WITHOUT ME, DID YOU?
UH-OH.
NUMBUH 1!
AAH! OH!
KIDS NEXT DOOR, BATTLE STATIONS!
AND HAVE A BALL.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. LET'S DO THIS.
5.
[ GRUNTING ]
4!
WHOA! AAH!
3!
[ GROANING ]
2!
WHOA!
HA, HA!
HEE, HEE, HEE!
WHOA!
HUP, HYAH!
1.
WHOA!
REMEMBER THIS, DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE LANE,
IF YOU EVER WANT YOUR BUTTS KICKED,
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE KIDS NEXT DOOR.
AHA! THAT'S A GOOD ONE, BABY.
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
Numbuh 2: UH-OH.
Numbuh 3: GET ME OUT OF HERE!
FATHER IS MOST...
UNSATISFIED.
Father: I AM...
MOST UNSATISFIED.
YES, FATHER. YES, FATHER.
AT FIRST, THOSE KIDS NEXT DOOR WERE A MINOR NUISANCE.
THAT'S WHY I ENTRUSTED YOU WITH THEIR DESTRUCTION,
BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR FAILURES,
THEY CONSTANTLY INTERFERE WITH MY SCHEMES
TO HAVE ADULTS...
RULE THE WORLD!
THAT ANGERS ME.
I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE FAILURE.
DESTROY THE KIDS NEXT DOOR OR ELSE!
UM, YES, SIR.
WE PROMISE.
GOOD.
WELL?! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
All: UM...CAN WE BORROW
THE REALLY, REALLY, INCREDIBLY DESTRUCTIVE MACHINE,
PRETTY PLEASE?
OH! OKAY, OKAY,
BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE SO MUCH AS A SCRATCH ON IT WHEN YOU'RE DONE!
OKAY, YOU UNDERSTAND?
THANK YOU, FATHER.
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE BIG, BAD, DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN.
YEAH, THAT WAS TOO EASY.
I'M GLAD NUMBUH 1 SHOWED UP.
YEAH, HE WHOOPED 'EM GOOD!
OH, NONSENSE.
TEAMWORK SAVED THE DAY, GUYS.
YEAH, BUT STILL, NUMBUH 1, YOU GOT 'EM GOOD!
THOSE DOOFUSES DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HIT 'EM.
HEY!
[ HUMMING ]
VERY FUNNY.
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLING ]
SO, NUMBUH 1, WHAT WAS YOUR SECRET MISSION ABOUT?
[ SIGHS ] IT WAS THAT TIME AGAIN --
TIME TO DECOMMISSION OVERAGED KIDS NEXT DOOR.
SOME OF THEM WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT A FIGHT.
BUT THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TURN 13, RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T BE ONE OF THE KIDS NEXT DOOR IF YOU'RE NOT A KID.
THOSE ARE THE RULES, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER.
WELL, THEN, THE RULES STINK.
OH, CHEER UP!
AT LEAST WE'RE NOT GROWING UP FOR A LONG TIME, RIGHT?
I GUESS SO.
THERE CAN'T BE ANYTHING WORSE
THAN HAVING TO LEAVE THE KIDS NEXT DOOR.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Delightful Children from Down the Lane: KNOCK, KNOCK!
HELLO, KIDS NEXT DOOR.
PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO TRY KICKING OUR POSTERIORS NOW!
[ BUZZING ]
YAY! FOURTH OF JULY!
[ GASPS ] NOT FOURTH OF JULY?
AAH!
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, NUMBUH 1?
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
BUT YOU'RE GOING -- AAH! AAH!
AAH! OOH! AAH!
[ GRUNTING ]
UH-OH.
NUMBUH 3, WE NEED HIPPY HOP...NOW!
WE'RE READY TO PLA!
HYAH!
[ Singsong voice] KUKI GOT YA. NUMBUH 3. THAT'S RIGH.
NUMBUH 3. I GOT YA! YES, I DID!
TADA!
AAH!
NUMBUH 3!
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
WHOA!
NUMBUH 5,
ACTIVATE THE TREE HOUSE DEFENSE GRID!
AFFIRMATIVE!
NUMBUH 5's BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS, BABY!
[ CLICKING ]
HAVE A BLAST, SUCKERS!
[ ELECTRICITY ZAPPING ]
UH-OH.
NO! NO, NO! STOP! AAH!
[ GASPS ]
COME ON, KIDS NEXT DOOR,
YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
[ BUZZING ]
Numbuh 2: HEY, STINK MACHINE,
BET YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!
WHOO-HOO! WHEE, YA!
COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE...
[ LAUGHING ]
STOP THAT! UH!
Numbuh 4: THANKS FOR KEEPING HIM BUSY, NUMBUH 2.
WHAT?
I'LL TAKE OVER FROM HERE, NUMBUH 4 STYLE!
[ GRUNTING ]
AAH! AAH!
TELL ME WHEN YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH!
I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY TO SMACK YOU AROUND, YOU KNOW?
DON'T WORRY.
WE WON'T WASTE ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME.
HUH?
OH, YEAH? JUST TRY AND HOLD ME!
HOLD YOU?
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
HYAH!
[ GRUNTS ] OH, CRUD!
WHOA! AAH!
UH-OH.
NUMBUH 1, DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF PLAN OR --
AAH! -- SOMETHING.
YEAH, NUMBUH 1, DON'T YOU HAVE A PLAN OR SOMETHING?
AAH!
COME BACK. WE ONLY WANT TO PLAY.
[ PANTING ]
[ GRUNTING ]
WHOA! HYAH!
HUH? AAH!
[ Choking ] OH, OOH.
WHOA!
WELL, WELL, WELL.
NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED
WHO CAN KICK WHOM IN THE POSTERIOR,
LET'S TURN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR
INTO THE KIDS NO MORE.
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
NO! NOT THAT!
YES, NIGEL...THAT.
NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME!
OH, YES, WE CAN.
NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT --
[ ZAPPING ] WHOA! AAH!
[ THUD ]
OHH!
SO MUCH FOR THE KIDS NEXT DOOR
AND THEIR GLORIOUS LEADER.
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
[ BEEPING ]
Numbuh 5: NUMBUH 1!
NUMBUH 1!
[ GRUNTS ]
AAH!
I, UM, FOUND HIM!
[ ALL GASPING ]
[ GROANING ]
OOH, NUMBUH 1.
[ GROANS ] WHAT?
OHH!
I'M -- I'M AN ADULT!
THE DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN USED AN AGE-CHANGING RAY ON ME!
SO, UH, W-WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
YEAH! WE NEED A PLAN
TO GET EVEN WITH THOSE TREE HOUSE-WRECKING
DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE LANE!
THAT'S -- THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW.
SAY WHAT?
I CAN'T BE A KIDS NEXT DOOR OPERATIVE ANYMORE.
I'M NOT A KID.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE! WE NEED YOU.
THE DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE --
BATTLE TO BEAT THEM... WITH YOU.
LOOK AT ME! I'M A GROWN-UP.
THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS IN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR.
THAT'S THE RULES! DON'T YOU GET IT?
THEY WON! I LOST!
I LOST THE BATTLE, THE TREE HOUSE,
AND MY CHILDHOOD.
HOLD UP, NUMBUH 1, THE RULES SAY WE NEED A LEADER,
AND THAT'S YOU.
YEAH!
NICE TRY, NUMBUH 5, BUT NO SALE.
IF YOU GUYS WERE EVEN SEEN WITH ME,
YOU COULD GET KICKED OUT OF THE KIDS NEXT DOOR.
NOW, IF YOU CHILDREN WILL EXCUSE ME,
I'VE GOTTA GO GET A...
[ GULPS ] A JOB.
[ ALL GASPING ]
[ BEEPING ]
[ SIGHING ]
[ TINKLING MUSIC PLAYS ]
ICE CREAM TRUCK.
YUP.
THAT'S IT!
I'M NOT GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE
IN THIS CRUDDY BOX!
[ GRUNTS ]
LET'S GO GET SOME ICE CREAM.
IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT NUMBUH 1.
WE USED TO GO ON DANGEROUS MISSIONS!
I THINK WE CAN HANDLE GETTING SOME ICE CREAM WITHOUT NUMBUH 1.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!
ARE WE MEN, OR ARE WE KIDS?!
LET'S DO IT! YEAH, WHY NOT?
ALL RIGHT!
Numbuh 3: ICE CREAM!
Numbuh 2: HOLD UP! HOLD UP!
[ COUGHING ]
[ PANTING ]
[ SIGHING ]
I GUESS THAT'S THAT.
OH, NO, IT'S NOT!
[ GRUNTING ]
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
HEY! WE WANT SOME -- AY-AY-AY!
NUMBUH 1?
THAT'S "MR. UNO" TO YOU.
COOL! IF YOU'RE THE ICE CREAM MAN,
THAT MEANS FREE ICE CREAM!
YAY! ICE CREAM PARTY!
IS THERE RASPBERRY IN THERE?
LOOK, I CAN'T. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T.
[ GROANS ] WILL YOU LISTEN TO --
SHUT UP!
I WORK FOR THE TASTY TASTE ICE CREAM COMPANY,
AND I SELL ICE CREAM TO RESPONSIBLE ADULTS,
SO WHY DON'T YOU KIDS GO OFF AND PLAY
OR WHATEVER IT IS CHILDREN DO?
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
OKAY, THEN I'LL HAVE A POPSICLE!
[ GROANS ]
GET OUT!
OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!
YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO BE COOL
BECAUSE THE TEAM MEANT MORE TO YOU THAN ANYTHING,
INCLUDING YOURSELF,
BUT NOW YOU JUST A SELFISH, OLD CRANK.
IT'S NOT YOUR AGE THAT'S CHANGED, MR. UNO,
IT'S YOU.
[ HUFFS ] SELFISH --
WHEN YOU'RE AN ADULT,
YOU'LL LEARN IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF,
AND YOU'LL LEARN THE HARD WAY.
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE NUMBUH 1 BACK TO NUMBUH 1!
MAYBE WE COULD SNEAK INTO
THE DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE LANE'S MANSION
AND GET THAT DEVICE
AND CHANGE NUMBUH 1 BACK TO A KID!
FORGET IT.
IF MR. UNO WANTS TO BE A JERK FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE,
NUMBUH 5 SAY, "LET HIM."
NUMBUH 5, HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEAN?!
YOU CALL NUMBUH 1 SELFISH, BUT YOU WON'T EVEN HELP HIM!
NUMBUH 3...
ATTACKING THE DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN WOULDN'T BE EASY.
WE DON'T CARE.
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY OF OUR 2-BY-4 TECHNOLOGY WEAPONS.
WE'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
WE MAY BE TURNED INTO ADULTS OURSELVES.
NO ONE'S A KID FOREVER.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
KIDS NEXT DOOR...
BATTLE STATIONS!
READY?
Fire away.
[ THUMP ] Numbuh 3: WHEE!
[ THUMP ]
[ ZAPPING ] OHH!
[ GROANS ] REALLY, SIRS AND MADAMS,
AS YOUR BUTLER, I --
[ GROANS ] IMPLORE YOU --
[ GROANS ]
BORING.
[ SIGHING ]
I ALMOST MISS THOSE PESKY KIDS NEXT DOOR.
Numbuh 5: AW! [ GASPING ]
WE REALLY MISSED YOU GUYS, TOO.
NOW, HAND OVER THAT DEVICE, YOU FREAKS!
JENKINS, DESTROY OUR GUESTS!
[ CRYING ]
OOPS.
Numbuh 4: OH, NO, YOU DON'T!
LET'S GO! AAH!
WHY YOU...
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
Numbuh 5: I GOT IT!
GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF OUR DEVICE!
Numbuh 2: IT'S NOT YOURS.
All: IT'S OURS NOW. LET GO!
[ GRUNTS ]
OHH!
[ ZAPPING ]
AAH!
OHH!
WHAT?!
[ ZAPPING ] AAH!
HUH?
[ PANTING ]
ENOUGH!
THIS ENDS NOW.
ONCE WE ADJUST THE DEVICE'S DIAL TO AGE ZERO,
YOU'LL DISAPPEAR FOREVER.
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D BE NO THREAT TO US
[ TINKLING MUSIC PLAYS ] WITHOUT NUMBUH -- HUH?
[ GLASS SHATTERS ] AAH!
TASTY TASTE HOME DELIVERY!
NUMBUH 5, REMIND ME TO HAND OUT FREE ICE CREAM
AFTER I TAKE CARE OF THESE CREEPS.
YOU GOT IT, MR. UNO!
THAT'S "NUMBUH 1" TO YOU.
ALL RIGHT, YOU BRATS, GIVE ME THAT DEVICE!
WHY WOULD WE GIVE IT TO YOU?
BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT,
AND GOODY-GOODY LITTLE KIDS LIKE YOU HAVE TO OBEY ADULTS.
SO, GIMME.
NO FAIR.
WHO SAID LIFE WAS FAIR?
[ CLAPPING ]
FATHER.
FATHER?!
BRAVO, MR. UNO.
YOU SKILLFULLY MANAGED TO OUTWIT A BUNCH OF CHILDREN.
THE QUESTION IS --
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PLAY WITH THE BIG BOYS?!
YEAH, YEAH, NICE FIREWORKS.
I'LL SEE YOU IN PRESCHOOL. AAH!
OW! OOH!
WE WON'T BE NEEDING TOYS, NOW, WILL WE, MR. UNO?
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ]
[ GROANS ] SO, SHALL WE PROCEED?
BRING IT ON!
WITH PLEASURE.
WHOA! AAH!
AAH!
I SHOULD HAVE DESTROYED YOU AND YOUR IMPERTINENT FRIENDS
A LONG TIME AGO.
I WAS CERTAIN MY CHILDREN
COULD TAKE CARE OF SUCH A MINOR ANNOYANCE,
BUT THEY ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT.
THAT MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ TARZAN YELL ]
[ GRUNTS ]
WHAT IN --
[ GROANING ]
WE GOTTA HELP NUMBUH 1. COME ON!
HOLD ON!
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
I HATE CRUDDY PIANOS.
I WISH THEY'D ALL JUST BLOW --
AAAAH!
OHHH!
HAVING FUN?
BRAVO, MR. UNO. YOU NOW HAVE MY FULL ATTENTION!
HA! YOU'RE ALL TALK, YOU BIG MATCHSTICK.
MY GRANDMA HAS BETTER AIM THAN YOU!
[ GRUNTS ]
AAH!
[ HISSING ]
OH, MAN! HE MELTED MY ROOTIE-TOOTIE SUPREME!
WHAT?
WAIT A --
GUYS, GET OVER HERE QUICKLY!
GIVE ME AN ICE CREAM!
OKAY! DO YOU WANT A BUTTERSCOTCH-CRANBERRY SWIRL
OR MY FAVORITE -- A GRAPEFRUIT SUGAR SLIDE,
OR THEN AGAIN, THERE'S ALWAYS THE YUMMY BOYSENBERRY BOMB-POP.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HOW ABOUT A KIWICICLE, OR HOW ABOUT A SUNDAE?
ALL OF THEM, JUST GIVE ME ALL OF THEM!
[ LAUGHING EVILLY ] AAH!
KIDS NEXT DOOR, BATTLE STATIONS!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
[ GROANS ] NO! STOP!
KEEP THROWING! COME ON, WE'VE GOT HIM DOWN!
SO COLD! NO!
ENOUGH. ENOUGH!
I SAID, "ENOUGH"!
WHOA!
WELL, NOW, IT SEEMS THE ICE CREAM BUSINESS
JUST ISN'T FOR YOU, MR. UNO.
I THINK IT'S TIME YOU WERE...
FIRED!
[ CHOKING ]
I PROMISED MY TEAMMATES FREE ICE CREAM,
BUT I DON'T THINK THEY'LL MIND SHARING.
NO!
STOP IT!
CHILL OUT, OLD MAN.
COLD, SO C-COLD!
AND CRE-E-E-AMY...
FATHER!
NEED...MY...
SWEATER.
UM, MR. BIG NUMBUH 1, I FOUND THAT AGE-RAY THING.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH IT?
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WITH IT, NUMBUH 2.
[ WHIMPERING ]
[ ZAPPING ]
[ GASPING ]
Numbuh 1: OKAY, DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE LANE,
REMEMBER THIS -- IF YOU OR YOUR FATHER
EVER WANT YOUR BUTTS KICKED, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND US.
KIDS NEXT DOOR, LET'S GO HOME!
[ LAUGHING ]
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
OH, MAN, THIS IS DEPRESSING.
YEAH. THIS'LL TAKE FOREVER TO FIX.
IT'S OKAY, NUMBUH 2,
WE'RE NOT GROWING UP FOR A LONG, LONG TIME,
SO LET'S GET TO WORK, GUYS!
[ BEEPING ]