1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,936
Fifhteen years ago in Tromaville,

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,937
New Jersey, the Toxic Chemical
Capital of the world

3
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little mop boy Melvin Fyrd,
a 98-pound weakling

4
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was teased taunted, and other bad stuff,

5
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until he fell into a barrel of
toxic chemical waste.

6
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Transforming him into a hideously
deformed creature

7
00:00:25,399 --> 00:00:28,870
of superhuman size and strength;

8
00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:35,839
Melvin became The Toxic Avenger,
the first superhero from New Jersey!

9
00:00:35,899 --> 00:00:41,005
Then two really shitty sequels were made...
sorry about that.

10
00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:44,569
This is the real sequel.

11
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:26,074
Okay kids, today we're going to celebrate
our special friends below the border.

12
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We are going to celebrate take
a Mexican to Lunch Day.

13
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Can we say that?
Mexican.

14
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Very, very good.

15
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Now that's where the hard working
Mexicans take naps during the day.

16
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Just like us?

17
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:54,204
Just like us. Exactly like us.

18
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Tito, v_hat do you think you're doing young

19
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Listen bitch, iust because l'm a tard

20
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doesn't mean that you have to treat
me like one.

21
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But because l'm ''special,'' l don't
think l'm ever gonna get laid,

22
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so why can't l masturbate?

23
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Tito! Okay kids, now do you know
what you're eating?

24
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That's right tacos. Can you say taco?

25
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Taco.

26
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All right you fucking retards drop your

27
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Fuck this man, l'm outta here.

28
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What on earth do you think you're doing,
young man?

29
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l'm trying to teach a class here.

30
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What kind of man are you?

31
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This kind.

32
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___ ___ 1_I:__:., ,_' _,;,, _:___,_ _______,_ _,,;.,,_ '.,_:___,,_'.___1i,__ _II:__
I, i_ __,_. 'I', .I '., __ _:.,I,'_) _, , ,,___!,, ,_, ,'__,;:i ,,_,.

33
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:46,103
to bring you this very special report.

34
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Well folks it looks like we've got
another

35
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You take this one.
l did the last three.

36
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The terrorist group in question,
the Diaper Mafia,

37
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have taken the Tromaville School
for the

38
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We're going to go live now to the
Tromaville School for the Very Special

39
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where our correspondent Cindy Tata
is

40
00:04:18,566 --> 00:04:22,336
Tromaville police chief Newman
about this very subject.

41
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Stick with us aRer the break where
our very own Josh Levitsky

42
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,936
will share some of those mouth-watering
recipes for butternut squash.

43
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Oooh, aaah, l like that
That's good

44
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Like a living Martha Stewart
But isn't she still alive?

45
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:37,968
Nigga, please.

46
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,801
Chief Newman, what caused the
Diaper Mafia

47
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horrible acts of violence?

48
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Well, uh, ah, no comment.

49
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l can't believe this is happening in

50
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You ask me, these diaper mafia punks
ale

51
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What is the use of sending these
retards to school in the first place?

52
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,836
All right, Tex, time to
kill another one.

53
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Yes, daddy.

54
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,935
Chief Newman, the Diaper Mafia has said
they will execute

55
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a special student every half hour
until their demands have been met.

56
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Really?

57
00:05:11,699 --> 00:05:13,668
Yet it's been at least 35 minutes since

58
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never mind

59
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Well, that's a damn shame it had
to happen on

60
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Take Mexicans to Lunch Day and all.

61
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:27,069
You hear that, pigs, you hear that?
You

62
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You hear that hear that hear that?

63
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A tard dies every five minutes unless
the

64
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You got that?!

65
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Got that got that?

66
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l'm working on it, really
l'm working on it.

67
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Please don't shoot any more
of those tards.

68
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l mean those special kids.

69
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Fuck the fucking tards! l'm sick and
tired of their drooling and whining!

70
00:05:54,399 --> 00:05:58,771
Now why is it when l shit my pants,
it's a fucking social faux pas?

71
00:05:58,866 --> 00:06:01,401
But when a tard shits his pants,

72
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a good-looking nurse wipes his ass
for him, huh?

73
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She's got her head up her ass.

74
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Tex, Tex, Tex check it out! Pregger
pi-ata! HA HA HA!!

75
00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,934
Hey hey, you've got your head
up your ass!

76
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Fuck you!

77
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Fuckin people!

78
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That's what separates us from the
pussies like the Trenchcoat Mafia,

79
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the Flat Top Mafia, and
the No-Pants Mafia.

80
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Didn't you hear what Kazinski said?
Fucking tard.

81
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Gun!
Nooooo!

82
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Mayor Goldberg, how do you feel about
the

83
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Try not to harp about the five
that are dead.

84
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Think about the hundreds of students
that are still living, still breathing,

85
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and let's pray for an end to all
this murder and mayhem and garbage.

86
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Let's pray.
Let's pray.

87
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Get off the phone!

88
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Let's pray, godammit!

89
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You too.

90
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Oh lord, in your divine wisdom,
please find it in your heart

91
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to put an end to this murder
and filth and trash and garbage.

92
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Oh, and please help us to get
re-elected one more time ok?

93
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Thank you very much God, and amen.

94
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Amen.

95
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Dye-a-nu

96
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Thank God you're here.
What took you so

97
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l had to change. It takes a while.

98
00:07:52,866 --> 00:07:55,868
Yeah, ok. All right, kid, hold on,
all

99
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l got the Really Real Bikini TV crew here.

100
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The Diaper Mafia's demands have not yet
been issued, and yet,

101
00:08:07,966 --> 00:08:11,736
speculation has already begun as to the
motivation behind the senseless attack

102
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on the mentally feeble student body.

103
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What do you think, Nick?

104
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l'm gonna have to go with heavy
metal music on this one, Jason.

105
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Aah, interesting.

106
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But what about that best-selling
video game Kill All the Retards?

107
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Could be a factor, Jason

108
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,535
But we cannot forget about
the rap music.

109
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Very popular with the kids. l
personally, am not a fan of rap music.

110
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l think you could put a c in front
of rap and call it you-know-what.

111
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l don't think you should go that far.

112
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Not a fan.

113
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l think you're going too far.

114
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Not a fan.

115
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All right, l think you've
established that.

116
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You know l think the worst part is that
we'll never know

117
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Well that won't stop me from casting my

118
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_ll, it certainly couldn't be violence in the ne;r_J

119
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Oh God no.

120
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l mean we may broadcast death and
tragedy,

121
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in his heart, and l think you'll
back me up on this

122
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l will back you up.

123
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We would never glorify it.

124
00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:16,135
You like that, don't you retard?

125
00:09:19,299 --> 00:09:23,470
Hello, Tex, Samantha Chambers,
Really Real Bikini TV.

126
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This is my morbidly obese sidekick.

127
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,535
l mean, cameraman, Joe.

128
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:33,535
Well Samantha, looks like l won't
have to frisk you for weapons.

129
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,769
Hey, listen lady, l didn't call you
in here to fuck you.

130
00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:45,768
l called you in here because the
Really Real Bikini TV show is

131
00:09:46,066 --> 00:09:47,767
the number one show in America.

132
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:50,202
Now tell fatty there to turn
on the camera.

133
00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:53,035
l'm gonna show ya something.
Okay.

134
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:55,135
You see this bitch right here?

135
00:09:56,733 --> 00:10:01,671
Wasting perfectly good tax dollars
trying to ''teach'' the un-teachable.

136
00:10:01,733 --> 00:10:05,736
And if there's one thing the Diaper
Mafia hates more than RETARDS,

137
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,734
it's genetic traitors.

138
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:15,504
Now, l'm gonna show you what we do
to bitches like that.

139
00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:02,301
_ger, 01 =1 1 =04=21 , 01 =1 1 =08=25,Tromaville's
of superhuman size and strength.

140
00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:34,135
lf that's the Toxic Avenger,
where's his

141
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:37,135
ward and sidekick Fatass?

142
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,836
lt's Lardass, punk!

143
00:11:45,466 --> 00:11:47,167
Let's fight.

144
00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,870
Toxie's got his head up his ass.

145
00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:21,168
l've got my head up my ass.

146
00:12:27,899 --> 00:12:29,635
Children, duck! Duck! No no no no!

147
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:37,267
Toxie!

148
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,601
No. You can't kill me Toxie.

149
00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:43,169
You see this exploding timing device
on my chest?

150
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:45,368
You see that bomb over there
in the corner?

151
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,635
Kiss your school goodbye.

152
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:49,268
Oh my God!

153
00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:53,203
Five seconds aRer my heart stops
this school is nothin'

154
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,201
but dead tards and charred lard.

155
00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:56,333
Hey!

156
00:13:56,399 --> 00:13:59,736
That's right! Kazinski said you'd
be here. Oh that's right!

157
00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:03,870
__ ___ ___,
__g_G fl ___m_

158
00:14:04,633 --> 00:14:06,868
in the first place anyway, huh?

159
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:10,903
He understands this world is full of
unthinking cattle that need to be

160
00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:13,902
led into the new millennium
with a new order.

161
00:14:13,966 --> 00:14:18,036
And the first step in the process is to

162
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:21,936
genetically mutated freaks and shit!
Ha-ha-heh-heh.

163
00:14:23,066 --> 00:14:25,435
That' wasn't a nice thing to say.

164
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,603
Excuse me, miss Wiener

165
00:14:28,666 --> 00:14:28,666
Toxie, you were always my best student

166
00:14:31,866 --> 00:14:32,633
Thanks!

167
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:37,569
No Toxie! Don't let your Tromatons
control

168
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:38,734
Tromatons?

169
00:14:57,866 --> 00:15:02,070
Think Toxie, if his heart stops
the bomb'll go off!

170
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:03,767
Aaaaagh! put it back in! Aaaaaaagh!

171
00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:18,101
Ugh, there you go, good as new! Oh darn it.

172
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,701
Oh darn it.

173
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:28,868
Come on Toxie let's get these kids
out of

174
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:31,368
This building's about to explode!

175
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:36,705
This bomb is now armed.
Detonation in T

176
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,567
This would be easier if l had a mop.

177
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:52,468
minus 5 seconds.

178
00:15:58,766 --> 00:16:02,669
These drugs are gonna blow my ass off

179
00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:03,800
Whoa. What the?

180
00:16:04,966 --> 00:16:08,602
Didn't your special helper tell you
that drugs are bad for you?

181
00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:09,967
Fuck off super zero!

182
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,235
l'm iust trying to act like
all the other cool cats my age.

183
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:18,667
Ahh! What's the deal Tox?

184
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:22,937
Well the deal is, l iust can't standby
and

185
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,035
l'm not killin' myself
drugs kill my pain.

186
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,037
Being a teenager sucks.

187
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:31,733
Um, well

188
00:16:31,799 --> 00:16:37,105
Being a retarded teenager sucks worse.
Drugs make it suck less.

189
00:16:37,166 --> 00:16:41,537
You're pretty articulate for a
druggie special student.

190
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,635
What's articulatit?

191
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:49,572
Ahhh! Ummm! Come on!

192
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:13,503
No Toxie! Church and state must
remain separated!

193
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:25,737
Holy cow! Lardass, l have to go
impregnate

194
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:30,637
Action sausage nunchuks
Deli style!

195
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,968
T minus 3 seconds.

196
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,736
Oh Toxie hurry! Do you feel
what time it is?

197
00:17:51,333 --> 00:18:16,891
Oh yeah, yeah, YEAH!
Ugh. Ooooh. Ungh.

198
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:26,409
Oh Toxie, in my blind eyes you are
the most beautiful man in the world.

199
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,235
l can't believe it's not butter!

200
00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:48,670
You know Sarah, l have a good feeling
about the sex we had just now

201
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,969
l really think l got you pregnant.
Oh! What time is it?

202
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,601
Oh! Melvin what's gotten into you?

203
00:18:55,666 --> 00:18:59,636
l know you're really excited about

204
00:18:59,799 --> 00:19:01,768
the results of the pregnancy test
aren't you?

205
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,968
Umm yeah that's it Sarah

206
00:19:05,033 --> 00:19:10,705
No Sarah l gotta get back to the school,
the special kids are in trouble

207
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,768
What am l to you anymore Melvin?
l feel like a giant ovary

208
00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:17,769
with a hundred and ten pounds
of flesh attached. God!

209
00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:22,433
Sarah, what are you saying?

210
00:19:22,633 --> 00:19:23,734
That's not what it is at all.
l love you.

211
00:19:23,799 --> 00:19:27,136
Well l iust can't seem to understand
why Lardass can't do some of the

212
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,134
''_,;:I'__.:._'I',,I'i',.__II''__',',___# :,'_:'',',':'':_.,__''.,:,,',I_'__,

213
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:34,270
l know l know Lardass is all grown up
now, but when l made him my ward

214
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,269
all those years ago,
l promised him we'd be partners.

215
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,468
l know he's a big boy now
a really,

216
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,437
really big boy now but he's iust
not to defend Tromaville on his own.

217
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:52,571
You go to your Lardass! Maybe he'll have

218
00:19:52,633 --> 00:19:56,670
l love you Sarah.
Yeah.

219
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,802
Toxie's here!

220
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:11,903
Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D why aren't
you in there helping the Toxic Avenger?

221
00:20:11,966 --> 00:20:15,102
l'm a New York City police officer
this is not my jurisdiction

222
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:18,269
besides Toxie suggested l stay out here
and stake out the area.

223
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:19,767
Yeah because l can guard everyone

224
00:20:19,966 --> 00:20:21,767
out here with my amazing
oriental super powers

225
00:20:21,966 --> 00:20:25,269
and so everyone should be safe outside
with me here behind this fence.

226
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:28,502
l think you should actually come
in here

227
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,968
T minus 2 seconds.

228
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:41,403
Toxie, Toxie!
The bomb is about to go off!

229
00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:44,335
T minus 1 second.

230
00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:47,868
Thank heavens for my emergency
peanut

231
00:20:48,766 --> 00:20:49,733
Come on kids.

232
00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:52,402
Let's go, we have no time to waste!
We've got to evacuate the building.

233
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:54,767
You're dead. You? You're dead.

234
00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:59,370
Let's get out of here!
Come on, let's go, move it!

235
00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:06,368
T minus O seconds,
the bomb will now blow

236
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:08,701
Thank you for shopping at Kmart.

237
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:10,767
Lardass, what are you doing?
We've got to get out of here!

238
00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,267
No Melvin, there's no time!

239
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:16,270
There are too many people in the
building, we'll never get them out.

240
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:20,236
Lardass, no! Don't eat the bomb

241
00:21:20,299 --> 00:21:22,602
Lardass, NO!

242
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:26,803
Even your superhuman stomach
can't contain it! Noooo!

243
00:22:08,566 --> 00:22:10,968
What have l done?

244
00:22:12,433 --> 00:22:15,068
lt's ok, Toxie, sweetie loves you

245
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,301
Speak for yourself, biotch.
Fuck this man,

246
00:22:18,133 --> 00:22:21,236
l'm outta here. Get outta my way pussies.

247
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:27,038
Oh Lardass!
My friend.

248
00:22:35,133 --> 00:22:39,837
Alright men, ready, aim,

249
00:22:41,166 --> 00:22:42,634
make guns go bang.

250
00:22:54,233 --> 00:22:57,402
Alright men, move aRer him
and use extreme caution.

251
00:22:57,666 --> 00:23:00,068
That lumpy headed bastard is dangerous.

252
00:23:07,433 --> 00:23:08,534
Get in the car!!

253
00:23:13,766 --> 00:23:17,503
Oh? Ok. l suppose l owe you a thanks.

254
00:23:17,566 --> 00:23:21,970
Don't mention it boss,
l'm just glad l decided to stick around.

255
00:23:22,033 --> 00:23:27,571
You iust can't trust school
kids these days.

256
00:23:28,433 --> 00:23:29,333
Crack deal?

257
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,935
Crack deal? Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
what are you talking about?

258
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,602
Sgt? NYPD? What?

259
00:23:34,666 --> 00:23:35,967
Huh?

260
00:23:36,033 --> 00:23:37,567
What's wrong with you, Noxie?

261
00:23:38,266 --> 00:23:39,967
Are you selling the crack or
are you smoking it?

262
00:23:40,033 --> 00:23:40,733
Huh?

263
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,101
Shit! Hang on Noxie!

264
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:47,434
Noxie?

265
00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,768
Did you see that? That was a stop sign!

266
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:55,666
Oh!

267
00:23:59,599 --> 00:23:59,666
Lookout!

268
00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:05,533
What are

269
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,234
Those are police!

270
00:24:08,299 --> 00:24:08,299
What's wrong with you Noxie?

271
00:24:09,299 --> 00:24:12,503
You'd think you've never been
chased by the cops before.

272
00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:13,934
l haven't.

273
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:02,935
Everybody back, everybody back,
just relax, stay calm.

274
00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:07,102
Toxie you alright?
What happened in there?

275
00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:14,070
Hey medics, get over here,
get Toxie over to the emergency ward.

276
00:25:15,866 --> 00:25:17,567
You alright?

277
00:25:17,633 --> 00:25:19,668
Come here!

278
00:25:38,033 --> 00:25:43,571
Stay back everybody! He's armed.

279
00:25:46,433 --> 00:25:48,101
What the hell did you do to the chief?

280
00:25:49,333 --> 00:25:51,702
Wow! Go Toxie!

281
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:54,434
Toxie, what could've prompted this

282
00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,167
vicious attack on the citizens of Tromaville'

283
00:25:56,233 --> 00:25:59,269
No fucking comment.

284
00:26:02,233 --> 00:26:04,134
Here how bout some hand me downs.

285
00:26:05,599 --> 00:26:07,301
YES!

286
00:26:09,166 --> 00:26:10,667
Any final statement?

287
00:26:11,433 --> 00:26:12,867
Shut your fucking cake hole!

288
00:26:25,533 --> 00:26:26,267
This doesn't look good.

289
00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:28,068
No it doesn't fuckin' look good.

290
00:26:35,433 --> 00:26:36,367
We should do something

291
00:26:36,433 --> 00:26:40,470
Do something like what? Did you see
what he just did to the fuckin' chief?

292
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:50,568
Fuck that, l'm leavin'. Are you comin'?

293
00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:52,333
Yeah, ok.

294
00:26:53,733 --> 00:26:55,868
Faggot #1 meet faggot #2. Bingo!

295
00:27:03,333 --> 00:27:05,802
Say it ain't so Toxie, say it ain't so.

296
00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:10,303
lt is so. Hold this fat ass. Oopsie daisy!

297
00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:23,303
Coming up at 1 1 =OO, Toxie kills
virtually everyone in Tromaville.

298
00:27:23,500 --> 00:27:27,470
And our very own Josh Levinsky
gets jiggy with it.

299
00:28:11,266 --> 00:28:14,736
Hang on Noxie, l can't pass this up.

300
00:28:18,266 --> 00:28:20,735
Kabukiman! That was an illegal U turn!

301
00:28:31,766 --> 00:28:34,235
Old Lady dead ahead!

302
00:29:12,366 --> 00:29:13,500
This is an American made car.

303
00:29:14,033 --> 00:29:16,668
Every time they flip 25 feet in the air
and crash down,

304
00:29:16,866 --> 00:29:19,568
they blow up! Let's get out of here.

305
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,669
God damn.
Oh Toxie!

306
00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:36,001
Toxie, the children picked these for you.

307
00:29:36,700 --> 00:29:38,334
Ah, go fuck yourself.
Toxie!

308
00:29:40,866 --> 00:29:42,334
What the hell is going on here?

309
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:47,337
What is going on indeed.
The events, which you are witnessing,

310
00:29:48,866 --> 00:29:52,502
have proven my theories regarding
the truly fragile nature

311
00:29:53,866 --> 00:29:55,500
of the space-time continuum.

312
00:29:56,033 --> 00:29:56,500
Nurse.

313
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,167
Blackboard

314
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:06,167
Perfect.

315
00:30:12,366 --> 00:30:16,002
As you can plainly see,
for every dimension,

316
00:30:16,066 --> 00:30:19,169
there exists a diametric opposite of
that dimension. When two explosions

317
00:30:21,366 --> 00:30:24,335
of equal mass occurred simultaneously,

318
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,170
the barrier between Tromaville, and
it's dimensional doppelganger,

319
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,170
Amortville, was weakened for a moment.
This breach caused the Toxic Avenger,

320
00:30:38,233 --> 00:30:42,337
and his evil opposite the Noxious
Offender to enter each other's reality.

321
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:50,339
Well, that's pretty good for a shriveled
up cripple, who can't get it up.

322
00:30:50,700 --> 00:30:55,171
That is it hell-bitch. l don't need to
take this shit from you.

323
00:30:56,366 --> 00:31:00,103
My erectile dysfunction has been
resolved see. Thanks to the modern

324
00:31:02,799 --> 00:31:05,936
miracle of penile implant it merely
takes a few squeezes of my scrotal

325
00:31:06,166 --> 00:31:10,103
_ _ _
_'',,_,',,,''''',,_',''',,',,_,',,,,,,,,'';,',,,'.,,,',_'',',,',_,''',,'',',,',_,',,',',''I,'
,':_,','I,'_,','',''_'''',,,',,,''','',''_,_'',',_,'',,',,,',',!:_'',,_,''',',',,''',','','','',,',',,

326
00:31:13,166 --> 00:31:17,103
Now get over here and
l'll show you shriveled.

327
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:19,935
Unzip me, and you'll be happy to launch

328
00:31:29,299 --> 00:31:35,105
l die, but my insane theories live on.

329
00:31:45,133 --> 00:31:47,101
_ey Noxie! Where ya been? Long time no see

330
00:31:47,299 --> 00:31:49,602
Hey Noxie, want some of this?

331
00:31:51,133 --> 00:31:55,103
Ah No thank you.
Thanks for the offer but no.

332
00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:41,534
What is this evil, evil place?

333
00:32:47,900 --> 00:32:54,873
Toxie! Nice work at the school my friend.
You need a ride some place?

334
00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:01,470
Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma,
grandma, grandma, grandma

335
00:33:02,833 --> 00:33:08,305
How am l supposed to smoke this crack
without a fucking pipe?

336
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,469
Fuck off Spazmo, that's the deal.

337
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:17,637
But, but, but, the deal was the three
of you guys for a rock and a stem.

338
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:21,470
Look, look, look, you got your crack
right, right? Now, go smoke your shit,

339
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:23,635
and get out of here.
We'll try not to fuck her up

340
00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:27,804
too bad for you, okay?
Bu but but, that wasn't the deal

341
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,803
That's it. Now l'm going to have
to freak you.

342
00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:37,468
Stop that right now.

343
00:33:37,666 --> 00:33:41,970
Hey, hey Noxie. What's going on man?
You wanna help us beat up the retarded

344
00:33:42,033 --> 00:33:45,636
guy?
Or you, hey you wanna help us rape her?

345
00:33:46,833 --> 00:33:47,967
Yeah, yeah.

346
00:33:49,166 --> 00:33:52,636
Didn't you learn your lesson last time
l Disemboweled you, shoved your head

347
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:55,302
up your ass, and killed you
with your own diaper?

348
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:56,967
What? What? Huh?

349
00:33:57,099 --> 00:33:57,900
Guess not.

350
00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:44,567
Sweetie, are you okay?

351
00:34:44,766 --> 00:34:47,902
The bad boys were trying to touch me.
Bad boys, bad boys.

352
00:34:47,966 --> 00:34:51,903
They're gone now, everything is okay.
Keep calm you sweetie and honey.

353
00:34:52,099 --> 00:34:53,568
What's your name little girl?

354
00:34:54,933 --> 00:34:55,900
Sweetie Honey.

355
00:34:57,766 --> 00:35:01,169
Uh, okay. Do you know where you live?
We gotta get you home.

356
00:35:02,033 --> 00:35:06,003
l tried but, my home was gone. 1 122
Maplegrove Rd. Tromaville, New Jersey.

357
00:35:07,066 --> 00:35:09,001
Just like Grandma said,
and it was gone.

358
00:35:12,533 --> 00:35:14,167
And you? What the heck were you doing?

359
00:35:15,533 --> 00:35:18,335
Looking for a crack pipe.
What did it look like l was doing?

360
00:35:18,866 --> 00:35:22,002
lt looked like you were selling
Sweetie Honey for drugs!

361
00:35:22,366 --> 00:35:24,334
And it looks like l saved you
from a severe beating.

362
00:35:25,033 --> 00:35:27,168
What are you doing here,
and where is your home?

363
00:35:27,366 --> 00:35:33,171
Man, l don't have a home. l am a loner.
And Sweetie's house is gone,

364
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:36,000
iust like she said.

365
00:35:36,699 --> 00:35:38,001
That is ridiculous.
Come on, Sweetie Honey.

366
00:35:46,366 --> 00:35:48,668
See kids, here's the dump, right where
l said it would be.

367
00:35:48,766 --> 00:35:49,833
Now we'll go in my shack
and call your parents.

368
00:35:51,699 --> 00:35:53,168
Parents? No parents, mom and dad died
and then Auntie Em took me in,

369
00:35:53,366 --> 00:35:57,503
but Auntie Em hit me too much so then
nice lady took me to grandma.

370
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,435
Well, we'll call whoever, and Sarah
will make you some lunch, and

371
00:36:07,133 --> 00:36:08,434
Where's my shack? It was right here.

372
00:36:09,633 --> 00:36:10,600
See? l told you.

373
00:36:12,966 --> 00:36:15,601
l don't think we're in Tromaville
anymore Toto.

374
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,601
Tito, my name is Tito.

375
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:18,933
Whatever.

376
00:36:19,466 --> 00:36:22,101
What are you going to do now,
Mr. Kingshit?

377
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,435
l don't know. l really don't know.

378
00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:28,435
l'm hungry. You said that l was
going to have lunch.

379
00:36:28,633 --> 00:36:29,700
l'm really really hungry.

380
00:36:29,766 --> 00:36:31,601
You want lunch too?

381
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:36,104
No, see l am a iunkie, so l
don't have to eat. But boy am l thirsty,

382
00:36:36,166 --> 00:36:38,268
do you have any whiskey or any booze?

383
00:36:38,466 --> 00:36:39,934
Here you go kids, something to eat
and drink.

384
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:49,936
Eww, gross. This whiskey tastes
like pregnant lady's piss.

385
00:36:50,466 --> 00:36:51,767
What kind of sandwich is this?

386
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:58,703
Congratulations Sorry you're pregnant.
You know, l don't know why on

387
00:36:58,766 --> 00:37:00,701
the commercials, they say these
pregnancy tests are hard to read,

388
00:37:00,766 --> 00:37:04,703
this seems pretty clear to me.
01 =31=Ol=20 ,01 =31=09=1 O ,We did it! l'm gonn:

389
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:07,533
A daddy?

390
00:37:07,733 --> 00:37:09,034
Yeah, l made a baby.

391
00:37:09,733 --> 00:37:10,033
Baby!

392
00:37:10,099 --> 00:37:10,400
Yeah

393
00:37:10,733 --> 00:37:11,366
l love babies.

394
00:37:11,433 --> 00:37:13,368
Yes! Yes! Ha ha ha!

395
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,868
Wait a second, wait a second

396
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:17,867
l gotta find Sarah.

397
00:37:17,933 --> 00:37:19,701
l gotta.
}w to get home. 01 =31=23=1 O ,01 =31=24=1 O ,l go

398
00:37:22,566 --> 00:37:23,366
You gotta get me lunch.

399
00:37:24,733 --> 00:37:27,635
Okay. l'm gonna figure out how
to get us home,

400
00:37:27,699 --> 00:37:28,867
l'm gonna get you some lunch.

401
00:37:29,733 --> 00:37:30,700
And uh.
Lunch.

402
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:33,035
and you two stay here.
Stay here?

403
00:37:33,233 --> 00:37:34,867
Stay here.
Here?

404
00:37:34,933 --> 00:37:36,034
Yeah, it's a lot safer here.

405
00:37:36,733 --> 00:37:38,701
lt's dangerous and unpredictable
out there.

406
00:37:38,900 --> 00:37:42,036
So iust stay here and l'll be back for
you just as soon as l can, okay? Bye.

407
00:37:43,233 --> 00:37:45,034
Stay here, stay here, stay here.

408
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:53,538
Who does the Toxic Avenger think he is?
My parents? Fuck this place man,

409
00:37:53,599 --> 00:37:54,867
l'm out of here.

410
00:37:54,933 --> 00:37:56,200
No! Tito, you can't go. Toxie said
to stay here. He's over there,

411
00:37:56,266 --> 00:38:00,370
and you're over there and we have
to stay here. Tito, no,

412
00:38:00,433 --> 00:38:02,802
cause l don't want to be alone.
Cause Toxies goin' over there,

413
00:38:02,933 --> 00:38:04,467
and you're goin' over there
and l have to stay here

414
00:38:04,566 --> 00:38:05,466
and mommy and daddy ran away,

415
00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:08,302
and Auntie Em was really mean,
and Uncle Bobby was really mean and

416
00:38:08,366 --> 00:38:12,803
l don't want to be alone! Tito
l don't want to be alone!

417
00:38:12,866 --> 00:38:14,300
Tito come back! Come back!

418
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:25,633
Okay, Okay.

419
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,635
Okay. You are giving me
a stomachache in my brain.

420
00:38:34,666 --> 00:38:37,802
lf you don't want to be a lonesome
you have to come with me

421
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,135
but l am in charge
l make choices out here.

422
00:38:40,666 --> 00:38:41,299
Kay.

423
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,467
Let's go. l am in charge.

424
00:38:47,333 --> 00:38:47,966
Thanks Tito. Will you hold my hand.
No.

425
00:38:51,833 --> 00:38:53,134
That's okay. Please hold my hand.

426
00:38:57,166 --> 00:39:01,136
You know Toxie l used to think that
you were one of those namby pamby

427
00:39:01,199 --> 00:39:06,071
pussy-footin' mother fuckers.
You know one of those bleeding heart

428
00:39:06,133 --> 00:39:08,802
heroes that's always makin'
my job difficult.

429
00:39:08,866 --> 00:39:12,169
But you're actually a bad guy.
You're all right.

430
00:39:13,766 --> 00:39:14,233
Thanks.

431
00:39:16,099 --> 00:39:19,903
Uh oh. You better split Toxie.
This press conference is about you.

432
00:39:20,433 --> 00:39:22,067
l'll hang around and
see what the deal is,

433
00:39:22,133 --> 00:39:24,502
then we'll meet at your house later.
Go on.

434
00:39:26,099 --> 00:39:26,733
My place?
Go go go.

435
00:39:28,266 --> 00:39:30,735
Oh lick my balls. Mother fucker.
Jesus Fucking H. Christ. Fuck.

436
00:39:33,266 --> 00:39:35,401
l never trusted Toxie!
Yeah!

437
00:39:36,099 --> 00:39:38,569
l knew he was bad from day one!
Yeah!

438
00:39:40,433 --> 00:39:43,769
That's my husband you're talking about.
He loves you people!

439
00:39:45,099 --> 00:39:48,903
Bullshit! We all loved Chief Newman.
Face it! Toxie's gone mad!

440
00:39:49,766 --> 00:39:50,066
Yeah!

441
00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:53,633
Wait! Wait Everybody!

442
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:58,737
Toxie saved me and my unborn child
from the bomb. Toxie's a hero!

443
00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,734
Hero's don't double amputate
police chiefs

444
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,904
and hurl twelve-year-old children
into brick walls!

445
00:40:07,099 --> 00:40:07,733
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

446
00:40:09,433 --> 00:40:13,570
Please. Please. Quiet down folks.
Let's get down to the Lord's work.

447
00:40:14,766 --> 00:40:18,603
We all saw the Toxic Avenger kill,
not only our beloved police chief,

448
00:40:19,433 --> 00:40:21,234
but innocent bystanders as well.

449
00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:24,402
So, we've got to bring him in.
For questioning!

450
00:40:24,933 --> 00:40:26,567
Not shot by some
vigilante citizens group.

451
00:40:32,266 --> 00:40:32,899
Fear not citizens!

452
00:40:33,933 --> 00:40:36,902
l have assembled the only team capable
of bringing him in.

453
00:40:38,666 --> 00:40:42,236
Super Heroes, united one and all,
to protect Tromaville.

454
00:40:42,766 --> 00:40:44,734
And l thank God for it.

455
00:40:46,266 --> 00:40:46,899
Now to introduce them

456
00:40:47,766 --> 00:40:51,569
first, please put your hands together
and give the clap to The Vibrator.

457
00:40:57,266 --> 00:41:00,502
Hhhhhhhhi!

458
00:41:03,366 --> 00:41:03,833
Yeah!

459
00:41:04,533 --> 00:41:06,434
Our next superhero protects creatures
of the ocean.

460
00:41:06,533 --> 00:41:10,336
Please give a warm Tromaville
welcome to Dolphin Man!

461
00:41:23,033 --> 00:41:26,002
Unfortunately, there's not much water
here so Dolphin Man is pretty useless.

462
00:41:27,366 --> 00:41:30,335
But, we have somebody stronger,
more powerful, much better looking.

463
00:41:32,199 --> 00:41:35,169
Who are they going to bring out next?
A cow that walks upright?

464
00:41:35,866 --> 00:41:37,167
Please welcome Mad Cowboy!

465
00:41:43,933 --> 00:41:44,667
Jesus Christ!

466
00:41:46,033 --> 00:41:47,667
Now, when rock super star
Mastur G

467
00:41:48,199 --> 00:41:49,501
and mild mannered
sex offender John Bator

468
00:41:50,699 --> 00:41:52,501
went into the same faulty elevator

469
00:41:53,366 --> 00:41:55,501
little did they realize that they would
emerge as one man

470
00:41:56,199 --> 00:41:57,167
a man that could fight crime with

471
00:41:57,966 --> 00:41:59,434
shear repulsion and bad rhyming.

472
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:03,436
Please give a warm welcome to combined
Mastur G and John Bator

473
00:42:05,966 --> 00:42:06,766
Masturbator!

474
00:42:09,466 --> 00:42:11,768
Yeah, yeah, yeah. l'm the masturbator,
the freaky palm god.

475
00:42:12,966 --> 00:42:15,768
y egg nog. 01 =42=20=25 ,01 =42=23=10 ,Look out
Here it comes, here it comes,

476
00:42:26,300 --> 00:42:29,269
it's comin' up Tromaville.
Yeah, ooh, ooh hoo. Here l go, yeah.

477
00:42:34,466 --> 00:42:36,935
And now, last but not least,
the man to beat the man,

478
00:42:37,966 --> 00:42:38,933
the crflme de la crflme

479
00:42:39,466 --> 00:42:43,436
the greatest superhero of all
please welcome Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD

480
00:42:55,966 --> 00:42:57,534
Thank you mayor.
Thank you very much sir. Thank you.

481
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,869
l iust want to assure every citizen
of Tromaville that

482
00:43:02,233 --> 00:43:06,203
_,,_._,_, , ',,_# ,, ','.: :_:I'';_,I _' ' _,' ,, :,_,I '_ :I", :,',_ __,I ':: _,: _
: ':,', _ :,_, _ _.,, 3_,,__ _ :,_,' ', :,_ _, _,_I ' ''_,,_ _ ' I

483
00:43:10,733 --> 00:43:11,533
What a dumbass.

484
00:43:12,566 --> 00:43:14,868
Why, l could take him out with
my heat seeking chopsticks,

485
00:43:20,066 --> 00:43:22,201
or, or l could suffocate him with my
computerized 16 bite sushi,

486
00:43:28,233 --> 00:43:30,368
or burn him, burn him with my
pyro projectile parasols.

487
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,702
l have many more to take him out, but
l don't think that will be necessary,

488
00:43:37,566 --> 00:43:39,200
Toxie will come in on his own.
He was just having a bad day.

489
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,535
We all have bad days! You know,
maybe we don't go around ripping

490
00:43:45,733 --> 00:43:48,869
off the arms of the police chief, and
bash priests and cops in the heads with

491
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:54,900
Thank you!

492
00:43:55,566 --> 00:43:58,802
He's probably bi-polar. Abraham
Lincoln was bi-polar and what did he do?

493
00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:01,467
He freed the slaves.

494
00:44:02,166 --> 00:44:03,300
So you see, if we iust sit back, relax,

495
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,302
everything will come to a
peaceful Kabuki conclusion.

496
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:14,803
Thank you Kabukiman well as you can see
Tromaville is in very capable hands.

497
00:44:17,166 --> 00:44:18,300
This concludes our press conference.

498
00:44:19,166 --> 00:44:21,301
Now, the moment you've all been
waiting for= the puppet show.

499
00:44:22,699 --> 00:44:25,302
Fucking metal ball, fucking grass,
fucking street, fucking fence,

500
00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:27,467
fucking fat girl.

501
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,300
Toxie? Toxie, l'm your biggest fan!!

502
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:30,800
That's great.

503
00:44:31,166 --> 00:44:33,301
Even a simple crack whore like me,
working her way through art school,

504
00:44:34,666 --> 00:44:36,300
can appreciate the finer aspects of you.

505
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:38,634
Where is my house?

506
00:44:40,833 --> 00:44:42,134
Maybe we should follow the signs.

507
00:44:43,666 --> 00:44:44,800
Hmm, Toxie's Shack

508
00:45:01,266 --> 00:45:02,400
The plastique palace.

509
00:45:08,266 --> 00:45:09,233
That's me!

510
00:45:21,599 --> 00:45:22,734
That's iust wrong.

511
00:45:25,433 --> 00:45:26,567
Stop!
Hold on!

512
00:45:31,766 --> 00:45:34,735
Oh shoot! There goes one of his arms.
Oh, poor baby.

513
00:45:40,099 --> 00:45:43,570
Oh yeah. Look at that. Oh, he got

514
00:45:47,099 --> 00:45:48,234
He's a little bitty boy.

515
00:45:49,099 --> 00:45:50,234
You see that thing runnin' aRer us
with the mop?

516
00:45:51,599 --> 00:45:53,068
l don't know, man, but he sure is ugly!

517
00:45:53,933 --> 00:45:54,900
C'mon step on it, let's go!

518
00:45:55,933 --> 00:45:56,900
He's getting mighty close.

519
00:45:58,866 --> 00:46:00,667
Oh no, he's iumping into the back
of the car.

520
00:46:03,533 --> 00:46:04,667
Stop, you! Stop the car!

521
00:46:12,199 --> 00:46:14,669
What the good goddamn was that!?
What're we gonna do?

522
00:46:14,733 --> 00:46:16,167
What're we gonna do?
Will you say something?

523
00:46:17,533 --> 00:46:18,834
Aaaah! l'm afraid, l'm afraid!

524
00:46:21,699 --> 00:46:24,002
Get away from me, please please,

525
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:27,502
l was only kiddin'! Please, no,
don't attack me, please!

526
00:46:43,033 --> 00:46:44,167
Hey ugly, ugly

527
00:46:45,199 --> 00:46:46,167
come here!

528
00:46:51,699 --> 00:46:53,501
Gee, l'm really sorry you
Iost your body.

529
00:46:54,533 --> 00:46:57,769
lt's ok ugly hero, it hurts but
l've been through worse.

530
00:46:58,633 --> 00:47:01,435
You know a black man in America
gets used to having nobody behind him.

531
00:47:02,633 --> 00:47:03,934
l guess l iust got nobody at all

532
00:47:05,466 --> 00:47:08,101
Hey, what are we gonna do about
that crazy ass white boy up there?

533
00:47:09,466 --> 00:47:11,935
Well, l know what we can do
with that mutha fucker.

534
00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,602
White power! White Power! White power!

535
00:47:20,300 --> 00:47:21,934
Hey boys l brought you a present.

536
00:47:25,633 --> 00:47:27,768
White Power!
Hey, don't you recognize me?

537
00:47:27,833 --> 00:47:29,601
White Power! White Power!
What you doin?

538
00:47:35,966 --> 00:47:39,102
That was fun. Thanks again for saving
my life super guy. Hey my name'sPompey.

539
00:47:42,133 --> 00:47:45,102
Pleased to meet you Pompey, l'm Toxie.
Sorry.

540
00:47:49,133 --> 00:47:50,601
Well here we are Pompey,

541
00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:52,767
the Plastique Palace.

542
00:47:53,633 --> 00:47:54,767
Oh yeah dude, you don't got to give me
the play by play,

543
00:47:54,900 --> 00:47:55,934
iust get me my body back.

544
00:47:56,133 --> 00:47:57,200
Will do.

545
00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:23,200
Mr. Offender
Huh?

546
00:48:23,566 --> 00:48:26,535
Oh l thought you were inspecting
the hot dog factory today.

547
00:48:29,233 --> 00:48:30,367
lt's not the penile implant, is it?

548
00:48:30,500 --> 00:48:31,200
No no no!

549
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,369
l mean, um no! Everything's fine
with the uh penile implant.

550
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,534
But will you fix my friend here?

551
00:48:45,566 --> 00:48:46,867
Oh hey, how ya doing there?

552
00:48:48,566 --> 00:48:49,199
Pretty ugly.

553
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,368
l can hear that bitch!
Who you calling ugly?

554
00:48:51,566 --> 00:48:53,701
Get my fucking head out of this
bag here and just give me

555
00:48:53,766 --> 00:48:54,533
my body back alright?

556
00:48:55,066 --> 00:48:56,200
l think we can take care of it!

557
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:56,867
Thanks!

558
00:48:57,500 --> 00:49:00,803
ls that what you do here? Give me a new
body. l mean build me one.

559
00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:02,635
Think you can give me one of those
bionic bodies or something like that.

560
00:49:02,699 --> 00:49:04,134
Get me a new body, alright?

561
00:49:04,500 --> 00:49:06,301
Hotdog parts.
Yes ma'am.

562
00:49:07,333 --> 00:49:09,968
You make a brother into a hotdog?
You lucky l ain't got my feet!

563
00:49:11,333 --> 00:49:12,133
l'd kick yo ass!

564
00:49:13,333 --> 00:49:16,803
l'm really hungry. l'm really hungry.
Ok Ok. You are so annoying!

565
00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:20,468
No wonder everybody hates
retarded people!

566
00:49:22,666 --> 00:49:24,467
l'm really hungry.
Hungry hung ry hungry hungry hung ry.

567
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:29,633
Hey, lets go to the office and fuck!

568
00:49:32,166 --> 00:49:33,967
C'mon let's get you some hot dogs.

569
00:49:34,666 --> 00:49:35,967
Hot dogs! l really love hot dogs,
Hot dogs.

570
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:40,967
Aaaah! Help me! Help me!

571
00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:42,968
So that's how they make hot dogs.
Gross.

572
00:49:43,500 --> 00:49:44,968
l'm never eating hot dogs again.

573
00:49:45,666 --> 00:49:49,136
Get me out of this bucket of body parts
and help me find my real body.

574
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:50,634
Help me, oh my God!

575
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:07,800
Hey, buddy

576
00:50:08,666 --> 00:50:11,301
can you spare some change
for an out of work particle physicist?

577
00:50:11,666 --> 00:50:12,299
Lardass?

578
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:13,800
Lardass!

579
00:50:14,466 --> 00:50:15,633
Fuck you, Mr. Lumpyhead!

580
00:50:15,833 --> 00:50:17,801
l can't believe you're alive!
l thought you were dead.

581
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,302
First of all, my name's not Lardass,

582
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,468
it's Chester.
l resent the implication.

583
00:50:24,833 --> 00:50:27,302
Secondly, l wish l was dead.
Huh?

584
00:50:27,500 --> 00:50:29,702
l was a scientist, one of the
greatest in the world,

585
00:50:29,766 --> 00:50:32,135
and now l'm reduced to being
the greatest cocksucker in the world.

586
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,968
Without my Claire, life is meaningless.

587
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,134
Hey, that's my wife!

588
00:50:39,333 --> 00:50:40,634
ls that what you call her?

589
00:50:41,833 --> 00:50:43,134
So you're really not my Lardass?

590
00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:45,300
l'm not Lardass, l'm Chester!

591
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:48,301
l'm iust a common street whore
who happens to know

592
00:50:48,666 --> 00:50:49,633
the key to inter-dimensional travel.

593
00:50:50,666 --> 00:50:51,633
lnter-dimensional travel?

594
00:50:52,333 --> 00:50:53,967
The ability to travel
between dimensions.

595
00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:57,902
And then my Claire was kidnapped,
by your goons, evil crime Lord.

596
00:50:58,933 --> 00:51:01,235
Then l iust gave up the proiect,
gave up my life as l knew it.

597
00:51:01,933 --> 00:51:04,568
But what do you care? To you l'm iust
a little piece of human shit

598
00:51:04,933 --> 00:51:06,734
another life shattered by your evil reign.

599
00:51:07,766 --> 00:51:10,401
Another story to tell your cronies
while sitting up in your mansion

600
00:51:10,466 --> 00:51:12,401
up there 4 blocks up on the right.

601
00:51:16,099 --> 00:51:19,236
What's the matter? My lips aren't sweet
enough for your toxic testicle nectar?

602
00:51:19,933 --> 00:51:20,900
Don't worry, Chester, l'll be back.

603
00:51:21,433 --> 00:51:23,735
Well when you come back
you'd better bring cash or pastries

604
00:51:23,933 --> 00:51:25,734
or you're not gonna get to touch this ass.

605
00:51:28,266 --> 00:51:31,068
Melvin, is that you?
l heard what happened at school today.

606
00:51:31,766 --> 00:51:32,733
You can hear?

607
00:51:33,099 --> 00:51:34,734
Of course l can hear.

608
00:51:35,433 --> 00:51:37,401
l was so worried about you.

609
00:51:38,266 --> 00:51:40,735
ARer all, our soon to be baby
needs a daddy.

610
00:51:42,266 --> 00:51:46,737
And look at the little baby outfit
l made, there's even a little mop.

611
00:51:49,266 --> 00:51:50,400
Wait. You're pregnant?

612
00:51:50,766 --> 00:51:52,400
Well, yeah l'm pregnant.

613
00:51:53,266 --> 00:51:53,933
Melvin,

614
00:51:55,266 --> 00:51:56,400
your hands,

615
00:51:57,533 --> 00:51:59,334
they're so soR.

616
00:52:01,366 --> 00:52:04,669
Oooh, your manly chest,
it's not quite so manly anymore.

617
00:52:07,366 --> 00:52:08,834
Umm, l've been eating a lot of
melons lately.

618
00:52:10,366 --> 00:52:13,836
Oooh, Melvin! Somehow your wiener has
miraculously turned into a vagina.

619
00:52:16,866 --> 00:52:18,167
What's going on around here?

620
00:52:18,866 --> 00:52:20,667
Just relax.
Oooow!

621
00:52:21,699 --> 00:52:23,668
lt's good for our relationship,

622
00:52:25,199 --> 00:52:26,834
it's good for the baby.

623
00:52:28,866 --> 00:52:30,667
Yeah, ok. Whooo!

624
00:52:31,199 --> 00:52:33,335
Yeah, it's good for the baby, baby.

625
00:52:57,966 --> 00:53:00,435
l don't know what Noxie
sees in this bitch, anyways.

626
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,269
ass is so much sweeter than hers! Where is _

627
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,602
I' ','.I '_ _' , _._'_ ,_ '_',',__:', '_',_'_. ___ _____I'_ 'II' ;,' _ ' ,__,I_,'' ' i _ __I __,:_,,,__,_',;

628
00:53:14,633 --> 00:53:15,600
Get off me, you

629
00:53:16,133 --> 00:53:17,267
Cock chugging masochist!

630
00:53:19,633 --> 00:53:21,601
Look you pervert, iust get get off!

631
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:25,769
Woo, ok, it's time for the rough stuff.
l'll be right over here, Noxie.

632
00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:39,600
Excuse me, madam.

633
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,770
Claire, wake up, wake up, Claire.
Rise and shine, come on.

634
00:53:47,966 --> 00:53:50,768
Don't worry, we'll get you outta
here in a jiffy.

635
00:53:50,966 --> 00:53:51,599
Woah!

636
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:54,601
Hey!

637
00:53:55,966 --> 00:53:56,866
Wait a second,

638
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:58,200
you can see?

639
00:54:00,566 --> 00:54:01,867
Of course l can see, stupid.

640
00:54:03,066 --> 00:54:04,033
You're deaf?

641
00:54:07,066 --> 00:54:08,867
What is this, some kind ofioke?
Blast!

642
00:54:09,566 --> 00:54:12,535
l wish l took those sign language
classes at Tromaville Community College.

643
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:18,537
Well, that's ok. l can read lips,
you dirty dumb dumb dumb ass!

644
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:25,537
What's a matter? Why don't you
rape me rape me and beat me beat me

645
00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:28,702
like you usually do,
you fuckin' pervert!

646
00:54:31,233 --> 00:54:34,703
Fill my chocolate starfish
with your chunky, chunky dick snot.

647
00:54:35,566 --> 00:54:38,702
Come on, come and do it now.
Come and get it over with.

648
00:54:39,733 --> 00:54:41,534
No, no. Hold it, hold it,
you don't understand.

649
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:46,200
Yeah. Oooooh, yeah.

650
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:08,800
Firey

651
00:55:16,333 --> 00:55:17,133
lt's explosive.

652
00:55:23,333 --> 00:55:25,968
Well ladies, now that you're
all warmed up,

653
00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:29,302
are your chocolate starfish ready
for my chunky dick snot?

654
00:55:32,333 --> 00:55:33,300
Oh my God,

655
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:37,634
get that thing away from me!

656
00:55:42,833 --> 00:55:43,800
Where you going?

657
00:55:52,666 --> 00:55:54,300
Where did the lovely lady go?

658
00:55:54,833 --> 00:55:56,734
You're about to find out all the
answers to all your questions.

659
00:56:03,766 --> 00:56:05,567
Look, not that l can't,
but l'm married.

660
00:56:07,266 --> 00:56:08,066
Will you get off!?

661
00:56:08,433 --> 00:56:09,233
l'm trying, damn it!

662
00:56:14,433 --> 00:56:15,066
Claire Claire

663
00:56:19,766 --> 00:56:21,734
Look Claire, look, l know l may look
like that Noxie character,

664
00:56:22,433 --> 00:56:23,734
but l'm not him.
l'm totally different.

665
00:56:24,933 --> 00:56:28,403
What's a-matter, did l do
something wrong? Have l been a bad girl?

666
00:56:31,266 --> 00:56:32,400
l'll do anything you want.

667
00:56:33,766 --> 00:56:35,567
Just don't hurt me no more!

668
00:56:37,266 --> 00:56:38,400
Chester sent me.

669
00:56:39,933 --> 00:56:40,733
Chester?

670
00:56:46,599 --> 00:56:48,568
l'm your daddy now.

671
00:56:54,266 --> 00:56:56,234
l'm about to have your abortion.

672
00:57:01,366 --> 00:57:02,500
Better not be another
Jehovah's witness.

673
00:57:03,199 --> 00:57:04,501
Fuck off! Oh, it's you.

674
00:57:04,699 --> 00:57:07,669
Toxie, l've got a little proposition
for you.

675
00:57:09,366 --> 00:57:11,000
What say we take a little ride?

676
00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:18,100
Ok. Wait, can we stop for ice cream?

677
00:57:21,733 --> 00:57:23,367
Hey, hold it right there, Noxie!

678
00:57:25,566 --> 00:57:28,869
What's wrong with you man? You're

679
00:57:29,733 --> 00:57:32,702
and now what? Takin' the sex slave
out for a romantic dinner?

680
00:57:33,233 --> 00:57:35,368
l don't know what's gotten
into you, but it's not right.

681
00:57:35,900 --> 00:57:37,868
Now why don't' you take that slut
back to the pit where she belongs

682
00:57:38,066 --> 00:57:40,201
and come with me.
We've got something to discuss.

683
00:57:42,733 --> 00:57:43,200
What the fuck!?

684
00:57:44,733 --> 00:57:47,702
:, _______,,,,:, ,,_:; _ __ ;,_I__;__ ,_,_:__ ___;, ;:_ ___'. _ _____:,,_,;_I I_,,___ ______ : , _ _1

685
00:57:51,566 --> 00:57:52,199
Run Claire Run!

686
00:57:54,233 --> 00:57:55,200
l knew it.

687
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,803
l knew something was wrong. You're not
the real Noxie aRer all, are you?

688
00:57:59,333 --> 00:58:00,300
That may be,

689
00:58:00,500 --> 00:58:04,136
but l know Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
and you sir are no Sgt, Kabukiman NYPD.

690
00:58:09,033 --> 00:58:09,033
in his special piece
about lesbians titled

691
00:58:10,833 --> 00:58:13,802
Strappin' it on and getting
up over in there.

692
00:58:13,866 --> 00:58:13,866
Lord, Jesus, Mother Mary, you up there.
It's me, Mayor Goldberg of Tromaville.

693
00:58:14,166 --> 00:58:15,133
Rootin' around.

694
00:58:15,333 --> 00:58:17,468
Hey, l know where l'm gonna be at 1 1.
Hey, that's appointment TV!

695
00:58:20,500 --> 00:58:23,469
l really really need you. Lord,
l need a sign, just any sign,

696
00:58:24,166 --> 00:58:27,969
iust to show me that you're here
for the people of Tromaville.

697
00:58:29,666 --> 00:58:32,802
Please Lord, iust iust any sign
just a sign. Please any sign.

698
00:58:41,166 --> 00:58:43,301
Oh well, thanks for taking the
time to listen.

699
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,803
l feel better for asking.
Amen.

700
00:59:02,599 --> 00:59:04,735
Coming up at 1 1 , Mayor Goldberg out
Toxie in.

701
01:01:12,366 --> 01:01:13,333
Toxie? Toxie?

702
01:01:50,533 --> 01:01:51,834
What? Who's there?

703
01:01:58,199 --> 01:01:59,768
Look, my name ain't Mister Head, man,

704
01:01:59,866 --> 01:02:00,099
it's Pompey.
Oh, Pompey, it's very

705
01:02:00,166 --> 01:02:03,402
nice to meet you. My name is Tito.

706
01:02:03,466 --> 01:02:06,569
Yah how you doin', Tito?

707
01:02:06,633 --> 01:02:07,000
Pompey, lets make a deal.
Uh-huh.

708
01:02:07,300 --> 01:02:07,433
lf you chew through my ropes,

709
01:02:07,500 --> 01:02:12,204
l won't let you become meat product, ok?

710
01:02:12,266 --> 01:02:12,966
Shit, that sounds like a plan to me,

711
01:02:13,033 --> 01:02:15,101
Tito. Come here.

712
01:02:21,533 --> 01:02:23,935
Chew, chew, Pompey! Chew like the wind!

713
01:02:27,699 --> 01:02:31,036
Chew Pompey, but hurry or else you'll

714
01:02:31,099 --> 01:02:31,934
become Pompey headcheese...

715
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,468
Wha! Not headcheese, no!

716
01:02:33,533 --> 01:02:37,937
Almost.... Alright, got it

717
01:02:38,966 --> 01:02:40,934
Come get me, get me.

718
01:02:42,633 --> 01:02:44,434
Fuck this man, l'm outta here.

719
01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:50,105
Me too! Me too! Help! Me too! Me too!

720
01:02:58,699 --> 01:03:02,036
Ok, ready, here we go.

721
01:03:15,733 --> 01:03:17,701
Wait Tito! Toxie needs help.

722
01:03:33,066 --> 01:03:36,702
No! No no no!

723
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:39,701
What do l do?

724
01:03:39,766 --> 01:03:40,733
You big retarded pussy!

725
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:41,700
You better get your ass over there

726
01:03:41,766 --> 01:03:42,633
and help that retarded girl.

727
01:03:42,699 --> 01:03:43,801
You go girl! You hit him!

728
01:03:43,866 --> 01:03:44,833
Hit him again! He'll survive that.

729
01:03:45,866 --> 01:03:46,833
You get him, retarded girl.

730
01:03:46,900 --> 01:03:48,868
Work it out.

731
01:04:14,333 --> 01:04:15,767
Come, we gotta get out of here.

732
01:04:28,333 --> 01:04:30,301
Dead end. Dead end. Dead end.

733
01:04:30,366 --> 01:04:33,802
Toxie, we've got to go.

734
01:04:39,833 --> 01:04:41,801
Oh no, no no. What happened?

735
01:04:41,866 --> 01:04:44,635
Kabukiman's coming. We've got to go.

736
01:04:46,333 --> 01:04:48,802
Come on, let's go, let's go.
Jump, chickenshit. C'mon Let's go.

737
01:04:49,333 --> 01:04:50,634
l don't want to go l don't want to go.
Go

738
01:04:56,766 --> 01:04:58,734
Damn.

739
01:05:05,766 --> 01:05:08,735
Damn they're very slowly getting away

740
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:11,903
Oh Well, Fuck'em.

741
01:05:12,733 --> 01:05:16,736
Tromaville news on the march.

742
01:05:17,766 --> 01:05:21,736
Mayor Goldberg, Tromaville's liberal

743
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:23,735
kubla khan, dead at 52.

744
01:05:24,766 --> 01:05:26,901
What is to become of Tromadu?

745
01:05:26,966 --> 01:05:28,701
Tromadu!

746
01:05:28,766 --> 01:05:30,734
What will happen to the stately

747
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:31,700
pleasure dome he built with the

748
01:05:31,766 --> 01:05:33,701
taxpayers money?

749
01:05:33,766 --> 01:05:36,735
Tromadu, where man and beast play,

750
01:05:39,766 --> 01:05:42,735
and women play with each other.

751
01:05:51,266 --> 01:05:54,235
Tromadu, haven to the artsy

752
01:05:54,766 --> 01:05:56,667
and to the fartsy,

753
01:05:57,699 --> 01:05:59,668
and who can forget the

754
01:05:59,733 --> 01:06:01,167
interpretive dancers?

755
01:06:03,199 --> 01:06:04,167
People are letting it all hang out

756
01:06:04,233 --> 01:06:05,167
at one of the famous Tromadu

757
01:06:05,233 --> 01:06:08,169
grotto parties.

758
01:06:13,199 --> 01:06:15,168
Look here, it's the Toxic Avenger,

759
01:06:15,233 --> 01:06:16,667
Tromaville's newest mayor.

760
01:06:16,733 --> 01:06:18,668
Mr. Toxie, how did you find cultural

761
01:06:18,733 --> 01:06:22,169
conditions in Tromaville?

762
01:06:22,699 --> 01:06:25,669
With great difficulty.

763
01:06:27,699 --> 01:06:29,668
Hey Toxie, what do you make of this

764
01:06:29,733 --> 01:06:31,668
easy on the eyes Jackson Pollack-esque

765
01:06:31,733 --> 01:06:32,667
painting here?

766
01:06:36,533 --> 01:06:37,500
Oh,

767
01:06:42,699 --> 01:06:44,668
well l guess everyone's a critic.

768
01:06:46,199 --> 01:06:47,668
Look at these young lovers, enioying

769
01:06:47,733 --> 01:06:50,669
the bounteous pleasures at Tromadu.

770
01:06:52,199 --> 01:06:54,635
l could die in these breasts.

771
01:06:54,699 --> 01:06:56,601
Bullseye!
Cupid strikes again.

772
01:07:00,966 --> 01:07:02,100
And so does Toxie.

773
01:07:10,466 --> 01:07:14,102
That's what l call a faceliR.
Looking good, Toxie.

774
01:07:15,133 --> 01:07:17,768
At Tromadu,
Toxie is always ahead in the polls,

775
01:07:18,966 --> 01:07:19,933
or a pole in the head.

776
01:07:20,599 --> 01:07:21,100
Whoopsie daisy.

777
01:07:22,466 --> 01:07:24,434
Uh oh, the party's over says Toxie.

778
01:07:28,133 --> 01:07:30,435
Wow. It looks like Toxie's
really tuckered out.

779
01:07:32,300 --> 01:07:35,436
Uh, What's that on your face, Toxie?
Nose blood.

780
01:07:41,466 --> 01:07:43,935
Toxie promises his first action
as mayor will be to kill

781
01:07:44,133 --> 01:07:46,602
all those goofy superheroes,
especially Kabukiman.

782
01:07:48,133 --> 01:07:50,535
Oh my gosh, we're doomed.
We're doomed.

783
01:07:51,133 --> 01:07:52,267
We're gonna die.

784
01:07:56,733 --> 01:08:00,703
Wait, we getting all chicken, it's
about time we do some evil ass kickin'.

785
01:08:02,066 --> 01:08:03,534
That's really nice, Masturbator,

786
01:08:04,233 --> 01:08:07,035
but fuck that.
l'm not going to die, not in Jersey.

787
01:08:07,566 --> 01:08:10,201
Now l'm getting the hell out of here.
MOOOOOO!

788
01:08:33,399 --> 01:08:36,035
My God, l never thought of it
that way before.

789
01:08:37,233 --> 01:08:38,367
Now let's save Tromaville.

790
01:08:39,233 --> 01:08:39,866
Yeah!

791
01:08:41,899 --> 01:08:44,035
Go Mad Cowboy.
Go Dolphin Man.

792
01:08:44,399 --> 01:08:46,535
Go Masturbator. Speed it up Vibrator.

793
01:08:48,566 --> 01:08:49,533
l'm cominggggggg!!!!

794
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:09,134
That Kabuki-faggot ran away.

795
01:09:11,333 --> 01:09:12,300
l kicked his ass good.

796
01:09:14,833 --> 01:09:15,800
l guess that takes

797
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:24,467
well l guess that

798
01:09:33,500 --> 01:09:34,300
l guess

799
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:38,301
l guess that takes care of that.

800
01:09:52,333 --> 01:09:55,135
l, Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD am a failure.
l suck.

801
01:10:01,333 --> 01:10:02,300
My arm is broken.

802
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,134
My leg is all fucked up.

803
01:10:06,833 --> 01:10:08,301
And l gotta pee like a race horse.

804
01:10:10,500 --> 01:10:11,467
Where's the hospital?

805
01:10:14,333 --> 01:10:15,133
Aaaaww shite!

806
01:10:17,333 --> 01:10:18,300
This ain't no fuckin' hospital!

807
01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:20,467
lt's not the fuckin hospital!

808
01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:23,467
Hey, ya got a pisser in here?

809
01:10:25,500 --> 01:10:27,468
Cause' l've gotta pee real bad.
Yes l do.

810
01:10:40,166 --> 01:10:41,066
Oh my Gosh,

811
01:10:42,166 --> 01:10:44,801
who could do such a thing
to a defenseless,

812
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:46,467
beautiful,

813
01:10:47,500 --> 01:10:50,636
hot,
exceedingly attractive woman like that?

814
01:10:51,666 --> 01:10:52,466
l must,

815
01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:54,468
l must free her, yeah.

816
01:10:56,333 --> 01:10:58,401
Here l come, Kabukiman to the rescue.

817
01:11:01,100 --> 01:11:02,901
Hold on there damsel in distress.

818
01:11:05,766 --> 01:11:07,400
Your hero is about to arrive, to save.

819
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:09,567
l'm here to rescue you.

820
01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:10,733
Just grab these knots.

821
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:12,567
Undo these knots.

822
01:11:12,766 --> 01:11:13,566
This knot.

823
01:11:15,266 --> 01:11:16,233
This is not easy.

824
01:11:35,766 --> 01:11:36,733
Have a pie.

825
01:11:46,266 --> 01:11:47,233
See ya tomorrow?

826
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:53,067
Alright, alright, who's next?

827
01:11:57,366 --> 01:11:58,333
Claire is that you?

828
01:11:59,699 --> 01:12:00,667
Oh Chester.

829
01:12:03,033 --> 01:12:04,000
Claire! l though you were dead!

830
01:12:07,033 --> 01:12:08,000
l was dead without your love.

831
01:12:08,866 --> 01:12:10,500
l dreamt of you every single night.

832
01:12:13,866 --> 01:12:16,335
__ _ _ _ _ __ _ _
'',,_,'':,,_:_,,'',','',,_,_,'_.í,'',,,'_,',,',,'_,,,,_,_,,_'_''_,',_:_,,'',','',..,_# ,','''.,_'','','._,_

833
01:12:19,033 --> 01:12:22,336
the rape, the torture, the corn holing
that fucker Noxie put me through.

834
01:12:27,699 --> 01:12:28,333
Ohhhh.

835
01:12:29,699 --> 01:12:32,335
Oh my darling look what he
did to your face.

836
01:12:33,366 --> 01:12:34,500
That doesn't matter now.

837
01:12:35,699 --> 01:12:36,834
All that matters is that l'm here

838
01:12:38,866 --> 01:12:39,666
with you.

839
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:51,333
Oh Chester!

840
01:12:57,300 --> 01:12:58,100
Ooh Yea!

841
01:13:17,133 --> 01:13:18,267
Do you remember the cheese?

842
01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:22,934
l saved the cheese for you, Claire.

843
01:13:24,633 --> 01:13:27,268
l've been waiting so long to
cut the cheese for you, Claire.

844
01:13:50,633 --> 01:13:51,767
Oh Claire, l love you.

845
01:13:57,733 --> 01:13:58,867
You're pregnant!
Ha-ha-ha!

846
01:14:00,566 --> 01:14:01,533
That's wonderful doctor!

847
01:14:02,566 --> 01:14:04,367
You're pregnant with two babies.

848
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:07,200
Two babies!?

849
01:14:08,733 --> 01:14:10,868
From what appears to be two
completely different fathers.

850
01:14:12,733 --> 01:14:13,700
And that's preposterous!

851
01:14:16,233 --> 01:14:17,367
That must be

852
01:14:18,233 --> 01:14:19,033
good

853
01:14:19,566 --> 01:14:20,533
and evil.

854
01:14:21,233 --> 01:14:22,200
Right.

855
01:14:23,566 --> 01:14:25,200
Well what can l do about that doctor?

856
01:14:26,733 --> 01:14:28,034
Well l'm glad you asked that question.

857
01:14:29,733 --> 01:14:30,533
Nurse?

858
01:14:32,566 --> 01:14:33,867
Oh lovely, iust like that. Thank you.

859
01:14:35,733 --> 01:14:39,203
What l have done is extracted the actual
fluid from the feti inside your body.

860
01:14:43,399 --> 01:14:45,869
This is the good fluid,
this is the evil fluid.

861
01:14:45,966 --> 01:14:47,033
You can tell because it's red.

862
01:14:47,899 --> 01:14:49,701
Now, inside your body you
have to make a choice

863
01:14:52,566 --> 01:14:54,868
because these two right, they're
fighting, fighting, fighting.

864
01:14:55,066 --> 01:14:57,468
One will win, and eventually
this is what it will look like.

865
01:15:02,166 --> 01:15:03,133
That sizzles.

866
01:15:04,666 --> 01:15:05,633
That will be you.

867
01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:09,134
The choice is very simple
and clearly yours.

868
01:15:09,333 --> 01:15:12,803
Either A, you can choose to explode,
or B, you can choose to abort.

869
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:17,302
Explode or abort.
What does one do?!

870
01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:21,134
l'll have to think about that, doctor.

871
01:15:22,333 --> 01:15:25,302
Ponder not too long because actually
you only have about two or three hours

872
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:26,968
until this whole process takes place.

873
01:15:33,166 --> 01:15:34,800
Melvin, where are you!?

874
01:15:36,333 --> 01:15:39,803
_ _ _
I',',, I ''. ,',', ',, ', '' , ,,,,,,'# ,' '. '- ,'_ _' ',',.__ '.-''_ ,,_, , ,,, , ,,
_,,__,'',','',,',,,', ,,,_':,!'.,'. ' ,_',',',._,_ ',,_',',','._,_ ''' ' ',,',',,'',,'',_,,_'_',':,, ' ' ''',,',' '' ,''', ,, ',

875
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:40,967
Well, let me check.

876
01:15:46,166 --> 01:15:47,967
Tromaville Abortion Clinic,
may l help you?

877
01:15:48,666 --> 01:15:50,801
l'm sorry but the doctor's
still in the topless bar,

878
01:15:51,500 --> 01:15:52,968
uh, l mean an appointment.

879
01:15:54,166 --> 01:15:55,634
Would you like his voicemail?

880
01:15:59,100 --> 01:16:01,402
Choose life or die!
Choose life or die!

881
01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:04,735
Choose life or die!
Choose life or die!

882
01:16:06,100 --> 01:16:08,902
Choose life or die!

883
01:16:09,433 --> 01:16:11,568
Woah, it sure is hot out here today.

884
01:16:18,766 --> 01:16:19,733
Hello?
Excuse me,

885
01:16:21,766 --> 01:16:23,901
is this the line for
the family planning?

886
01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:27,400
No?

887
01:16:27,766 --> 01:16:28,900
Burn in hell, abortion bitch!

888
01:16:33,433 --> 01:16:36,402
At least this sweet gentle rain
will cool things off today.

889
01:16:42,933 --> 01:16:43,900
Oh my goodness!

890
01:16:45,766 --> 01:16:47,234
Oh my goodness, sweetie, look at you!

891
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,401
Quick we gotta get you
t ASAP. 02=1 6=55=1 5,02=1 6=51=1 O,Careful. We !
good care of you.

892
01:16:55,266 --> 01:16:57,668
Well, l'm really only here
to weigh my options.

893
01:16:58,699 --> 01:16:59,834
Options? Oh we've got lots of options!

894
01:17:01,699 --> 01:17:04,002
Let's see, first we open up your
vagina with this speculum,

895
01:17:07,866 --> 01:17:09,834
and take this instrument,
a little sort of like a harpoon,

896
01:17:11,699 --> 01:17:12,834
and we can shove on in and

897
01:17:15,866 --> 01:17:17,167
Why, what's the matter, my dear?

898
01:17:17,866 --> 01:17:19,000
l think l'm going into labor.

899
01:17:20,699 --> 01:17:24,003
Oh my goodness, we better abort
in a hurry, Doctor Cassidy!

900
01:17:30,699 --> 01:17:32,001
What seems to be the problem,
Miss Scraper?

901
01:17:33,033 --> 01:17:35,001
This young lady needs to be
de-foetused, stat!

902
01:17:36,033 --> 01:17:39,002
Ah, an excellent choice, my dear.
And so much better for the children,

903
01:17:39,366 --> 01:17:40,333
l'm sure you'll agree.

904
01:17:40,699 --> 01:17:42,668
Now let's iust take a tiny
little listen, ok?

905
01:17:44,866 --> 01:17:46,167
Whoa, my, my, that one is lively,
isn't it.

906
01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:53,002
That fuckin' speculum, l told you to
put the mother-fucker away!

907
01:17:55,366 --> 01:17:56,266
:_,, ; _, _, ; __ ,_,.:_,_,_ 1. 1 _ __ , ' : : : : ,:_, ;:
__ :, '_ _ ,; ' ' _ _ _ ' _ ' ' _ ' ' ' ,, , ' ' _' , _ _ ' ' ,_ _ , ,'_',;:_ _ ' ,, , , , ,__ ,, 'I _ :, _ _ ,', ,._ , _,, , , :_,__' _, _ __: ___,_,__ , _, 1 1 _ __ _ _ '____ __,_, _
:_,__' _, _ __: ___,_,__ , _, 1 1 _ __ _ _ '____ __,_, _

908
01:18:01,966 --> 01:18:03,600
when you're There's a case
for the speculum!

909
01:18:08,966 --> 01:18:09,933
Next.

910
01:18:11,466 --> 01:18:12,767
My anus!
My fuckin' butthole!

911
01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:20,100
Call a doctor!

912
01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:26,934
Tromaville Abortion Clinic,
may l help you?

913
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:30,268
l'm sorry but the doctor iust
died of rectal hemorrhaging.

914
01:18:32,966 --> 01:18:34,100
Would you like his voicemail?

915
01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:36,934
lt's alright, it's ok.

916
01:18:37,966 --> 01:18:38,933
lt's ok Toxie.

917
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:40,934
Look! l told you he'd be here!

918
01:18:42,466 --> 01:18:44,601
Claire says that she knew
you'd be here, in this dump!

919
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:46,767
lt's the only place l know.

920
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:49,935
We'd like to thank you again,
for bringing us back together.

921
01:18:51,133 --> 01:18:52,100
Yes, thank you.

922
01:18:53,633 --> 01:18:54,600
So come on, let's get you out of here.

923
01:18:55,633 --> 01:18:56,533
What's the point?

924
01:18:57,899 --> 01:19:01,036
l mean l belong here in the dump with
the garbage and the rotting food.

925
01:19:02,566 --> 01:19:03,700
You seem to have forgotten something.

926
01:19:04,566 --> 01:19:07,535
l'm a physicist. When l said l was
gonna get you out of here,

927
01:19:07,899 --> 01:19:08,867
l meant this dimension!

928
01:19:09,733 --> 01:19:10,533
Dimension.

929
01:19:11,566 --> 01:19:12,533
Come on.

930
01:19:12,733 --> 01:19:13,366
Come on.

931
01:19:13,733 --> 01:19:14,700
Let's go.
We Go

932
01:19:16,566 --> 01:19:19,702
A scientific comrade of mine was
recently killed in a freak accident,

933
01:19:20,399 --> 01:19:22,702
and he bequeathed me his
y 02=19=21=10,02=19=30=05,and all of his insanl
inter-dimensional travel.

934
01:19:26,899 --> 01:19:27,700
Travel.

935
01:19:28,733 --> 01:19:29,700
l hope you don't mind the mess.

936
01:19:30,066 --> 01:19:31,200
Um, no, l didn't even notice it.

937
01:19:33,733 --> 01:19:34,867
Now let's get you back to Tromaville.

938
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:57,134
l think l've got it, Toxie.

939
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:00,634
l've found the key to
inter-dimensional travel

940
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,134
in this seldom read scientific tome.

941
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:05,301
Please tell me it doesn't
involve exploding

942
01:21:05,833 --> 01:21:06,967
a school full of special children.

943
01:21:08,166 --> 01:21:09,133
No, it's much simpler.

944
01:21:10,500 --> 01:21:13,469
You see Toxie, You've had the power
to go home this whole time.

945
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,134
These will help you find your way.

946
01:21:23,166 --> 01:21:23,966
Oy gevalt.

947
01:21:24,833 --> 01:21:25,800
Ooooh.

948
01:21:29,666 --> 01:21:30,800
The operating procedures
are quite simple.

949
01:21:32,166 --> 01:21:35,636
All you have to do is think of home
and click your heels three times.

950
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:39,634
You may have to try this
more than once.

951
01:21:40,666 --> 01:21:42,634
lnter-dimensional travel is not
an exact science.

952
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:44,467
You might find yourself in Heaven.

953
01:21:44,666 --> 01:21:46,801
Or you might find yourself on a
1910's gay porno set.

954
01:21:48,666 --> 01:21:49,133
Ready?

955
01:21:50,666 --> 01:21:51,466
Upsy daisy.

956
01:21:52,833 --> 01:21:54,301
Come on, Tito.
Come on, Tito, hop up.

957
01:21:54,833 --> 01:21:55,733
l'm not going.

958
01:21:58,433 --> 01:21:59,567
What do you mean you're not going?

959
01:22:01,766 --> 01:22:03,734
Tito, come on, we've got to go
back to

960
01:22:03,933 --> 01:22:04,900
We don't belong here.

961
01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:07,734
l don't belong anywhere.

962
01:22:09,766 --> 01:22:12,568
But as long as there are people
like evil mabuki pagoop

963
01:22:14,933 --> 01:22:19,070
Kabukiman running around, l must stay
and protect the citizens of Amortville.

964
01:22:21,266 --> 01:22:22,734
l have become the Retarded Revenger!

965
01:22:25,766 --> 01:22:27,567
Don't forget about your sidekick, Pompey,

966
01:22:27,766 --> 01:22:30,568
the baddest bodyless mother-fucker
in all of Amortville.

967
01:22:34,600 --> 01:22:36,735
l want you to have this,
in memory of Lardass.

968
01:22:41,266 --> 01:22:43,401
Actually, Tito, you've already
made me proud.

969
01:22:44,766 --> 01:22:45,399
My man

970
01:22:45,933 --> 01:22:46,900
l will miss you,

971
01:22:49,100 --> 01:22:49,900
Toxic Avenger.

972
01:22:52,433 --> 01:22:53,567
l'll miss you too, Tito.

973
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:55,667
Yeah,
can l have my blanket?

974
01:23:02,533 --> 01:23:03,000
Ready?

975
01:23:05,699 --> 01:23:08,669
There's no place like Tromaville.
There's no place like Tromaville.

976
01:23:10,366 --> 01:23:11,667
There's no place like Tromaville.

977
01:23:30,699 --> 01:23:32,668
Uh Oh What's
What the What the

978
01:23:37,366 --> 01:23:38,500
Owch Ow Ooh!
l never felt

979
01:23:47,366 --> 01:23:47,999
Cut!

980
01:23:58,466 --> 01:23:59,433
Alfred Jones

981
01:24:00,466 --> 01:24:01,433
Leukemia

982
01:24:02,633 --> 01:24:03,600
Jeffrey Smith

983
01:24:04,633 --> 01:24:05,600
Alcoholism

984
01:24:07,300 --> 01:24:08,267
Bill Gullow

985
01:24:08,633 --> 01:24:09,600
Polio

986
01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:12,435
God, l kinda think they invented
a cure for that one.

987
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:14,934
Godammit! Well that's alright.

988
01:24:16,466 --> 01:24:17,934
Every time they come up with a cure
for one disease,

989
01:24:18,300 --> 01:24:19,768
l come up with something
even more deadly!

990
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:23,101
AIDS. Now that was a good one!

991
01:24:23,633 --> 01:24:24,433
AIDS!

992
01:24:30,966 --> 01:24:32,600
God?
Yeah, what do you want?

993
01:24:33,633 --> 01:24:34,600
We iust wanna go home.

994
01:24:34,966 --> 01:24:36,934
You bastard!
What do you wanna go home for!?

995
01:24:37,633 --> 01:24:39,768
This is Heaven!
This is the best place around!

996
01:24:42,300 --> 01:24:42,933
Ok.

997
01:24:44,966 --> 01:24:48,436
God, l think this is the
Toxic Avenger, he's from Tromaville.

998
01:24:49,466 --> 01:24:50,934
Alright, you can go back to Tromaville,

999
01:24:52,466 --> 01:24:53,934
but you gotta do me two favors!
Uh-huh.

1000
01:24:54,633 --> 01:24:57,869
First you gotta kick the asses
of all the murderers and child rapists!

1001
01:24:57,933 --> 01:24:58,533
Yeah.

1002
01:24:59,233 --> 01:25:02,369
And, you tell the pope, stop talking
about me, he doesn't know me.

1003
01:25:02,899 --> 01:25:06,536
:'_,''_, ':_:,: :::_, _','I ,: ,'::I 1I_' __ _I _1_, _ '__ _I :,_ :''I:_,_, ,:'::,_:I _

1004
01:25:07,233 --> 01:25:08,534
Uh, yes sir
Get outta here.

1005
01:25:09,566 --> 01:25:11,200
Alright God! You're awesome!

1006
01:25:17,899 --> 01:25:20,535
All those other super human heroes
would've died anyways.

1007
01:25:22,233 --> 01:25:23,534
Now l've got Toxie's shack,

1008
01:25:24,899 --> 01:25:28,536
we're drinkin' we got some bimbos
on the way, it's all good.

1009
01:25:31,566 --> 01:25:33,534
There's no place like Tromaville.
There's no place like Tromaville.

1010
01:25:39,566 --> 01:25:41,534
Noxie he's gonna kill.
Oh what do l do?

1011
01:25:42,566 --> 01:25:45,869
l iust had the weirdest dream!
And Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD you were there.

1012
01:25:47,233 --> 01:25:49,368
Except you were evil
and you kicked my ass.

1013
01:25:50,566 --> 01:25:51,533
And you!

1014
01:25:52,899 --> 01:25:53,533
You weren't there.

1015
01:25:54,233 --> 01:25:55,200
And you!

1016
01:25:55,666 --> 01:25:56,967
You weren't there either.

1017
01:25:58,333 --> 01:25:59,467
Who are you guys? What're you
doing in my shack?

1018
01:26:00,166 --> 01:26:01,133
Don't hurt me.

1019
01:26:03,166 --> 01:26:05,968
Kabuk, where's Sarah? What's going on?
What happened to you?

1020
01:26:07,666 --> 01:26:08,299
Toxie?

1021
01:26:09,166 --> 01:26:11,301
Toxie is that really you?
Is that the real you?

1022
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:13,467
Yeah it's me.

1023
01:26:14,166 --> 01:26:15,133
Oh thank God,

1024
01:26:17,166 --> 01:26:19,301
Hey you've gotta stop yourself,
the evil version of you.

1025
01:26:21,500 --> 01:26:22,467
You've gone power mad.

1026
01:26:23,500 --> 01:26:24,634
The evil version of me?

1027
01:26:26,833 --> 01:26:27,800
Sweetie Honey!

1028
01:26:29,666 --> 01:26:30,800
Then it wasn't a dream!

1029
01:26:32,500 --> 01:26:33,300
Where's Sarah?

1030
01:26:33,833 --> 01:26:35,134
l saw her at the hospital.

1031
01:26:35,500 --> 01:26:38,803
She's been kidnapped by the evil
Toxic Avenger, the evil you, and

1032
01:26:39,833 --> 01:26:42,635
Wait, you don't wanna go in there.
It's all sealed up tight now

1033
01:26:42,833 --> 01:26:45,969
and they got a shit load of guards
and they all know kung fu and

1034
01:26:46,333 --> 01:26:46,966
Ok, ok.

1035
01:26:47,166 --> 01:26:50,302
We've got to get the other heroes
of Tromaville and storm the hospital!

1036
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:51,300
They're all dead.

1037
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,568
All of them?
Yep.

1038
01:26:56,933 --> 01:26:58,067
Even Dolphin Man?

1039
01:26:58,266 --> 01:26:59,233
Oh yeah.

1040
01:27:03,766 --> 01:27:05,400
Alright, well then it's
up to the two of us.

1041
01:27:05,933 --> 01:27:07,067
C'mon, let's go.

1042
01:27:10,433 --> 01:27:13,402
Ok, l'll catch up with ya.
l'll be right there. Just gonna

1043
01:27:16,600 --> 01:27:17,400
What's your name?

1044
01:27:17,600 --> 01:27:19,234
Sweetie Honey.
l'm a big girl too.

1045
01:27:21,100 --> 01:27:23,735
Oh yes you are, Here would you
like a drink?

1046
01:28:04,699 --> 01:28:05,667
Yes, fight my son, Fight!

1047
01:28:10,033 --> 01:28:10,833
How long!?

1048
01:28:11,366 --> 01:28:12,333
l'm not sure.

1049
01:28:14,033 --> 01:28:17,336
Very well. If you need me l'll be
in the snack bar having nachos.

1050
01:28:34,366 --> 01:28:36,000
Kazinsky, we may have a problem.

1051
01:28:37,366 --> 01:28:38,834
What is it?
l'm due for my nose job.

1052
01:28:39,866 --> 01:28:41,000
l think Toxie's good again!

1053
01:28:42,366 --> 01:28:43,333
What misfortune.

1054
01:28:44,199 --> 01:28:47,670
Toxie, come in! Videhauffer says
you've turned good again!

1055
01:28:47,733 --> 01:28:49,167
What the hell is that?

1056
01:28:49,366 --> 01:28:50,667
Go check it out.

1057
01:28:51,533 --> 01:28:54,836
And make sure whatever he's talking
about doesn't make it to this floor!

1058
01:29:57,633 --> 01:29:58,600
l've gotta find Sarah!

1059
01:30:00,133 --> 01:30:02,435
lf there only were a giant map
like they have at the mall.

1060
01:30:02,633 --> 01:30:03,600
Tromaville Hospital!

1061
01:30:05,300 --> 01:30:06,267
Oh hello

1062
01:30:07,466 --> 01:30:08,600
let's see, l'm in here

1063
01:30:09,633 --> 01:30:10,600
and Noxie is here

1064
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:14,934
and uh let's see here

1065
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:18,269
armed guards that want
to kill me are here.

1066
01:30:52,633 --> 01:30:53,934
Oh No! Now l've got AIDS!

1067
01:32:07,333 --> 01:32:08,300
l've got to get out of here.

1068
01:32:08,500 --> 01:32:09,467
l've got to get out of here.

1069
01:32:12,000 --> 01:32:12,800
Toxie.

1070
01:32:18,166 --> 01:32:20,801
You blew up a school filled
with special children.

1071
01:32:22,833 --> 01:32:23,967
What's inside your head?

1072
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:27,801
Let's find out shall we?

1073
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:33,967
No, Toxie, no!

1074
01:32:41,166 --> 01:32:41,966
Sarah!

1075
01:32:42,166 --> 01:32:42,966
Sarah!

1076
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:46,967
Yeah, l fucked her.

1077
01:32:49,000 --> 01:32:49,300
No.

1078
01:34:42,866 --> 01:34:46,002
Not only am l gonna kill you,
l'm gonna rape your virgin ass first.

1079
01:34:47,699 --> 01:34:48,167
No!

1080
01:35:52,466 --> 01:35:55,202
l don't have to fill my body
with plastics and silicone!

1081
01:35:58,899 --> 01:35:59,867
My eye is real!

1082
01:36:01,233 --> 01:36:01,499
Doink!

1083
01:36:03,066 --> 01:36:04,033
My dick is real!

1084
01:36:08,066 --> 01:36:10,201
And my colon is real
and my large intestine is real.

1085
01:36:12,899 --> 01:36:14,201
And my pancreas is real!

1086
01:36:17,066 --> 01:36:18,367
And my duodenal ulcer is real!

1087
01:36:19,899 --> 01:36:20,867
Most importantly

1088
01:36:27,399 --> 01:36:28,701
so is my heart.

1089
01:36:52,233 --> 01:36:52,866
Stewy?

1090
01:36:54,833 --> 01:36:55,133
Bozo?

1091
01:36:57,833 --> 01:36:58,633
Melvin?

1092
01:37:00,333 --> 01:37:00,966
Melvin?

1093
01:37:01,500 --> 01:37:02,133
l'm you.

1094
01:37:02,833 --> 01:37:03,466
l'm you.

1095
01:37:04,833 --> 01:37:06,134
Gimme a hug!
Oh Melvin.

1096
01:37:07,000 --> 01:37:07,967
Oh you're beautiful.

1097
01:37:16,833 --> 01:37:18,134
Sorry sorry sorry sorry.

1098
01:37:20,166 --> 01:37:23,469
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

1099
01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:27,301
What is wrong with you?

1100
01:37:28,166 --> 01:37:31,135
that's _vhat's v#rong with me. l'm from the oth

1101
01:37:31,833 --> 01:37:33,467
Don't you know that?

1102
01:37:35,833 --> 01:37:36,800
Gimme some!
No.

1103
01:37:39,000 --> 01:37:39,800
That's it.

1104
01:37:57,933 --> 01:38:00,068
l'll be back, mother-fucker!
If there's a sequel

1105
01:38:03,100 --> 01:38:04,234
l'll be back!

1106
01:38:15,433 --> 01:38:16,734
Sarah, it's ok honey, l'm here.

1107
01:38:19,433 --> 01:38:21,067
Oh Melvin, l'm so glad you're back.

1108
01:38:30,933 --> 01:38:31,733
Doctors!

1109
01:38:32,433 --> 01:38:33,567
ls there a doctor in the house?

1110
01:38:34,433 --> 01:38:34,900
Anyone, someone?

1111
01:38:35,933 --> 01:38:36,733
Oh my God

1112
01:38:36,933 --> 01:38:37,900
she's hemorrhaging!

1113
01:38:40,433 --> 01:38:41,567
No no, this is iust dick tissue.

1114
01:38:44,433 --> 01:38:45,233
Hello? Hello?

1115
01:38:47,766 --> 01:38:48,566
Baby?

1116
01:38:49,766 --> 01:38:49,966
Tonight at 1 1 , bad Toxie goes out
good Toxie in.

1117
01:38:52,766 --> 01:38:54,834
And congratulations Toxie,
we heard it's a boy.

1118
01:38:55,533 --> 01:38:56,667
Hey, all right.
Also at 1 1

1119
01:38:57,199 --> 01:38:58,334
our very own Josh Levinsky

1120
01:38:58,866 --> 01:39:01,835
will be taking some of our local
super heroes shopping for tights.

1121
01:39:08,366 --> 01:39:10,334
He's a beautiful, big,
bouncing baby boy!

1122
01:39:11,533 --> 01:39:12,667
Sixty pounds and four ounces.

1123
01:39:15,699 --> 01:39:16,834
Oh, he is beautiful.

1124
01:39:18,366 --> 01:39:19,500
He looks iust like you!

1125
01:39:24,699 --> 01:39:25,834
Toxie.
Oh, hey Ms. Wiener.

1126
01:39:26,533 --> 01:39:29,836
l iust really wanted to thank you
for saving me and my beautiful baby

1127
01:39:31,366 --> 01:39:32,166
Laqueesha.

1128
01:39:34,533 --> 01:39:35,667
She looks iust like her mother.

1129
01:39:37,366 --> 01:39:40,168
And l've also brought the special
students in to thank you, too.

1130
01:39:40,699 --> 01:39:41,667
Come on in kids.

1131
01:39:44,533 --> 01:39:45,000
Hey Sweetie.

1132
01:39:45,699 --> 01:39:46,500
Toxie

1133
01:39:46,699 --> 01:39:48,668
we made this award for you
cause you're an alumnus

1134
01:39:49,533 --> 01:39:51,501
of the Tromaville School
for the Very Special

1135
01:39:53,366 --> 01:39:54,500
and you're very special.

1136
01:39:57,033 --> 01:39:58,000
Wow. Thanks kids.

1137
01:39:59,866 --> 01:40:02,668
And Toxie, l want you to have
the blanky for the baby,

1138
01:40:04,866 --> 01:40:06,834
cause l'm a very big girl now
and l don't need it.

1139
01:40:08,366 --> 01:40:08,999
Are you sure?

1140
01:40:09,533 --> 01:40:10,667
Just ask Sgt. Kabukiman.

1141
01:40:13,366 --> 01:40:14,333
Hey hey hey!

1142
01:40:15,366 --> 01:40:17,334
Hey! Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD,
my best friend.

1143
01:40:17,533 --> 01:40:18,333
How ya feelin'?

1144
01:40:18,533 --> 01:40:19,166
Not too bad.

1145
01:40:19,866 --> 01:40:22,668
Doctors say my arm and leg should
be healed in a couple of weeks.

1146
01:40:23,033 --> 01:40:25,335
l iust can't wait to get the
stitches removed from my anus.

1147
01:40:25,699 --> 01:40:27,501
Anus anus anus anus anus anus!

1148
01:40:34,366 --> 01:40:34,999
Knock knock.

1149
01:40:37,199 --> 01:40:40,002
Pompey, you got a new body,
you're just not a head anymore.

1150
01:40:40,866 --> 01:40:41,833
_ t _ _
, , ', ' ' I , , _, , -, ' ' ,, , _ '' ',' '' _ ' _ ', _ , , ''' ' ' ' ,,' ',' '' _ , , , ,: '' ',' ' ' ' ' _ , _ , , , ; ' ^ , ,,,:___.,___,_,_,,, _,_,:;__,.__.:__:___,,______,___,,_:______,,:: _,:__I___,;, ,:;____ ;____ , __________
,,,:___.,___,_,_,,, _,_,:;__,.__.:__:___,,______,___,,_:______,,:: _,:__I___,;, ,:;____ ;____ , __________

1151
01:40:46,533 --> 01:40:48,668
Now we could talk about head
and all that stuff later,

1152
01:40:49,366 --> 01:40:51,334
but are you ready to meet your
other new child?

1153
01:40:52,366 --> 01:40:53,500
Wait a minute, another child?

1154
01:40:53,866 --> 01:40:55,767
The evil baby!

1155
01:40:56,800 --> 01:40:59,769
l think a child is as much a product
of his environment as anything.

1156
01:41:00,300 --> 01:41:02,268
And l think we have enough love to
raise any kid as a good kid.

1157
01:41:03,633 --> 01:41:05,101
Well, if you think so, Melvin.

1158
01:41:09,633 --> 01:41:11,267
Yeah, a real American family
for the new millennium.

1159
01:41:11,633 --> 01:41:12,433
Awesome!

1160
01:41:15,633 --> 01:41:16,600
Now let's take a peek.

1161
01:41:26,633 --> 01:41:27,433
What?

1162
01:41:28,633 --> 01:41:29,433
What?

1163
01:41:33,633 --> 01:41:34,600
Hey, cute kid.

1164
01:41:36,300 --> 01:41:36,933
Uh-oh.

1165
01:41:37,966 --> 01:41:39,267
Toxie, Toxie, l can explain.

1166
01:41:41,800 --> 01:41:42,934
l was drunk, she was tied down.

1167
01:41:45,300 --> 01:41:46,267
l forgot to zip up.

1168
01:41:48,466 --> 01:41:49,266
Alright, later.

1169
01:42:11,899 --> 01:42:13,368
Due to the depletion of the ozone layer

1170
01:42:13,899 --> 01:42:15,701
and the careless dumping of
hazardous nuclear waste

1171
01:42:17,733 --> 01:42:19,701
thousands of people
find themselves trapped

1172
01:42:21,066 --> 01:42:24,536
in an evil parallel universe every year
and the numbers are rising.

1173
01:42:35,233 --> 01:42:38,536
This film is respectfully dedicated
to those who have lost their lives

1174
01:42:41,566 --> 01:42:43,034
facing down their own
evil doppelgangers.

1175
01:42:53,233 --> 01:42:56,636
So if you find yourself thrust into an
alternate reality look to the horizon

1176
01:42:59,666 --> 01:43:03,469
one hideously deformed creature of
superhuman size and strength

1177
01:43:04,333 --> 01:43:05,300
will be there

1178
01:43:06,166 --> 01:43:08,968
yes dear reader he'll be there.
He's the Toxic Avenger.

1179
01:43:11,333 --> 01:43:14,135
And please don't forget to recycle
your bottles and cans.

1180
01:48:32,833 --> 01:48:32,966
This iust in Jesus out, Satan in.

1181
01:48:35,000 --> 01:48:36,968
And l for one worship the dark lord.
Really?

1182
01:48:37,166 --> 01:48:37,966
Yeah l do,

1183
01:48:39,000 --> 01:48:40,134
You guys get together
and have worship?

1184
01:48:41,000 --> 01:48:42,468
We do. Actually this Sunday we're
having a calf slaughtering

1185
01:48:42,666 --> 01:48:43,800
at the ninety second street Y,

1186
01:48:45,000 --> 01:48:47,135
and our very own Josh Levinsky
will be running a cake walk

1187
01:48:47,333 --> 01:48:48,467
and then we're going to sacrifice him.

1188
01:48:49,333 --> 01:48:49,333
Really?
Yeah.

1189
01:48:50,166 --> 01:48:50,799
That's amazing.


