The Kingdom Hospital rests on ancient marshland
where the bleaching ponds once lay.
Here the bleachers moistened their great spans of cloth.
The steam from the cloth shrouded the place in permanent fog.
Then the hospital was built here.
The bleachers gave way to doctors, researchers,
the best brains in the nation and the most perfect technology.
To crown their work they called the hospital The Kingdom.
Now life was to be charted,
and ignorance and superstition never to shake science again.
Perhaps their arrogance became too pronounced,
like their persistent denial of the spiritual.
For it is as if the cold and damp have returned.
Tiny signs of fatigue are appearing in the solid, modern edifice.
No living person knows it yet, but the portal to the Kingdom
is opening once again.
What was that?
What was what?
l got a picture. l thought l knew it all.
Yet l know nothing.
A picture?
They're looking at the Kingdom. The evil eyes.
The little girl found peace. l thought that was enough.
But nothing will ever be the same after the scream.
The scream at the Kingdom?
Everything is decaying ... and nobody notices.
God!
I'm sorry. I'm a bit ...
Worried. Yes.
Something along those lines.
Things are not as they should be. Not at all.
l know it sounds like old hat.
But l can't help feeling there is more need for me here now
than ever before
and I'm making a royal mistake in popping off now.
Take care now, Mrs Drusse. Know the expression "spellbound?"
Perhaps I'm spellbound by the Kingdom, like everyone else.
There does seem to be rather a spell on it, doesn't there?
CASUALTY
Drusse ... the ambulance was out again last night.
That shouldn't be, should it? How peculiar ...
Wasn't that meant to be over and done with?
Yes ...
Look out!
What is going on?
What are all the halfdead doing here?
This is the very artery of the department
and passage must never be impeded.
What is this?
lt's an empty bed unit. Empty bed units must be filled.
A chicken would understand that. But not you.
Good morning.
Bloody hell! That was a short trip to Haiti.
I'm knackered.
A drop of coffee?
Thanks.
Yes, thanks.
Yes ...
Of course, you've been up all night,
snaffling bathrobes and other hot property?
Now we can relax, eh? Stig!
Hi, Stig!
What are you doing? Just having a tiny cup of coffee.
lt was a short trip to Haiti, don't you think, Rigmor?
Short, long, who can say?
Leave a dog a fortnight, it thinks you're gone 15 minutes.
Hook isn't interested in dogs.
He's knackered. Bollocked.
No, no, no, no, stop that!
That belongs to Hook. l don't need a spoon.
Coffee's great stuff
l've said enough
Coffee's my char Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah
lt's the best drink in Sweden by far.
You having two cups?
No, here ...
I'm tired as hell.
l've been sitting with Judith for 48 hours now.
No, l'll go and have a last peep at her.
No coffee until management has presented its report.
Surely l can decide that, damn it!
Alas, alas, alas.
Was that the report?
We are still waiting for the management's report.
How did Morning Breeze go down with the minister?
Morning Breeze is fresh and clear, Not bad, my dear ...
Excuse me, Stig.
Will you take over my management duties for a bit
while l pick up the pieces? And it is more Swedish,
all that formal stuff.
Thank you, Stig.
Let's have some coffee. That's what always happens.
Now I'm getting angry. l come back from holiday
and offer my colleagues coffee, but will you drink it? No.
One wants it black, one wants it white, one wants milk.
lt's not easy for me as a Swede. You lot are never satisfied.
The minister of health had a tiny accident while he was here.
He fell and bumped his head. He's coming to our department.
Professor Helmer, you must fill in the blue needs analysis.
The parliamentary committee can't finish its white paper without it.
The deadline was the first.
What the hell is this? Who are you?
Mrs Svendsen, Professor Moesgaard's secretary.
We'll see quite a bit of each other
now that Professor Moesgaard has transferred admin to you.
I'm looking forward to some strict Swedish formalities
for a change.
Ouch ...
l've been to see him. He is well.
You can see him.
l don't want to see him. l wish he'd die.
Move all the patients into the bed units.
The units are G keyed.
l moved the beds out this morning. l know.
Tomorrow is bed count day! Yes, but help us anyway.
You're all going back again.
There and back, is just as far.
Hello there! l suppose you're moving them into the units?
Yeah.
Moving them into the units!
Bed count day.
Bed count day? ... isn't that tomorrow?
Why so formal? l happened to be passing, so let's count today!
How many beds are in use, how many vacant?
Our norm is 69 beds. Three units have been Goldkeyed
in accordance with the standing agreement.
64 occupied beds means
l think you are mistaken.
lf a consultant desires
he can use the Gold Key to shut off one or more bed units.
Nothing wrong with that. lt goes on all over the hospital.
l know.
That means
as Gkeyed units don't count as available capacity.
if l may address you by your title.
lf l tell you the beds are back in their units
which thus cannot have been Gkeyed ...?
Stop, for God's sake!
You're putting patients into the empty units!
What on earth ... Professor Helmer told us to.
"Corridors mustn't be blocked". What rotten luck, Moesgaard!
But if you can allow so much breeze between the beds ...
Bob! Bob is a game of wooden rings.
At this hospital, the CEO is to be addressed as DG.
Mummy?
She'd only just got out.
What the devil have you done, Mummy?
Stop looking at me!
Go, go, go ...
Sons of the Kingdom
... go, go, go ...
This is getting to be a tradition.
Two breachers of the peace from the management!
l had heard rumours of a gathering place.
But l didn't realise the lodge convened in a detergent store.
lt's not like you gentlemen to be so humble in your requirements.
Assisted by Nivesen, l intend to investigate
every nook and cranny of the hospital.
l promise you a bloody great purge.
You are threatening the lodge? Threatening?
l have merely come to inform Moesgaard of his bed norm.
60 beds, Moesgaard.
Rustle up some patients for them, too, or we'll cut even deeper.
60. That smarts, eh?
l am also considering deactivating the Gold Keys.
l have reason to believe that they are being used
in order to inflate occupancy figures.
lf needs be, l could demand "ordinary standards" here.
You can't be serious.
This is the leading hospital in the country in every respect.
lncluding the cost of a bed. "Ordinary standards?"
An efficiency level our provincial hospitals have to meet.
lt would be a severe blow to us. Good day to you.
Was it such a good idea to goad the brethren?
They may close ranks. Consultants? Close ranks? Ha!
Go to the deer park in autumn. Observe the rutting stags.
They clash antlers, but they've no white coats.
That's the only difference.
Order!
Can't you get them clean?
lt's like the evil eyes.
lf what you see looks evil,
what is to blame for that evil?
Your glasses? Or you?
My glasses.
l need new ones.
But you will remember the evil after the glasses have gone.
Hook, l've something to tell you.
Hey, hi, Mogge.
You haven't been at work for ages.
l just don't get it.
Why has Helmer been so chirpy since he got back from Haiti?
l still have the anaesthesia report, after all.
Mogge, you must find out what he's got up his sleeve.
Like heck l will!
From here it sounded as if you said "no", and a cheeky no at that.
You heard right, you old pusher!
Mogge, damn it, that upsets me. Can't we talk about it?
l've nothing to talk to you about. The head has gone
in case you hadn't checked your fridge.
l'd noticed. But l thought our partnership went deeper than that.
When a Moesgaard shrugs off the yoke, he shrugs off the yoke.
Anyway, that head would never have got me into hot water.
No link can be proved between me and the head.
Apart from a certain likeness.
So you won't assist me any more?
l shouldn't think so.
OK, Mogge. That's OK, it really is.
Mogge, damn it, I'm sorry if l pushed you into anything you didn't like.
BLOOD RED BLACKMAlL
l hate anyone to go away emptyhanded.
Generous of you to see it that way, Hook.
Has Helmer told you, Rigmor?
60? lt's absolute hell.
Ulrich 124, Lindemann 98.
Bennesen 102, and then Moesgaard, 60.
Utterly insignificant.
That's the thanks l get for Operation Morning Breeze.
Perhaps we could keep our patients a bit longer?
Make them take up more room?
l am not on form, not after that evening.
What makes a badger react every time?
Such a peaceful creature.
Going for a hunter's leg cannot be a conscious act.
l think it is rage.
Or disappointment at not being allowed its place in this world.
l don't know if l can take all this.
You men are such ninnies!
l've better things to do than wipe your nose.
lf you want help, turn to the professionals.
You think l should seek psychiatric help?
Oh, our family may have had a few problems.
Let's just call it a form of insanity.
But psychiatric help? No Moesgaard has ever sought that.
Call it what you like.
What about Ole? Why not try him?
Ole?
Ladies' Ole. He'll see right through you.
He'll peel you like a banana.
Really?
l think you should see him.
There, there ...
He has some ... deformities.
You can do it. Yes, you can.
Will you come with me? Yes, of course l will.
Hi, Pop.
Hello, my boy. What are you doing down here?
Down here? ln the dumps?
lf someone had used words like confused and conflictshy
about your old dad yesterday you'd have laughed in his face.
"Not our old Moesgaard".
But today? ... Alas.
By the way, l've fixed it
for Helmer to be your external examiner for your viva.
lt's one of management's little consolation prizes
being able to fiddle such things.
You think it will help? You bet!
When you're on top of each other all day long?
Normally l oppose nepotism. But this ...
... is from me to you.
We Moesgaards pull together.
Mogge, have you heard? Bondo's turned down a new liver.
So his tumor can grow.
Here.
Wow! l've never seen this one.
l am sorry
that l have not been able to keep up my teaching.
But now I'm raring to go.
l know what you're thinking.
What an old fool!
What a load of pathetic twaddle just for a slice of tumor in a microscope!
Maybe l am a romantic old fool.
You are young and still have your clarity of sight and all.
Damn it, what is the matter with you?
Can't you accept an apology?
Yes?
We have discussed this in class. ... We agreed to put it this way:
We would like to express our profound respect for your research
and the sacrifice you are making for medical science.
ls that really the attitude of this class?
Bulder?
What is that l hear?
Nothing.
That's what you told WulffHansen at the ear clinic in Virum in 1959.
You were not a pretty sight with those poultices round your head.
We're taking you to neurosurgery, Mummy, for an operation.
Well, l always said l was ill.
Can you really not hear anything?
lt's the wind blowing through the corridors.
No, my boy, it is the voice of the hospital.
Sure, Mummy.
Excuse me, do you know if psychiatry has premises down here?
No. Thank you.
QUlET lF GROUP
Come back inside! No! l'll die!
Like heck! We don't say no when the drum is calling.
The drum's your friend, damn it. No! l'll die!
No, you won't.
What do you want, Whitecoat?
Excuse me, l was looking for a psychiatrist called Ole.
But this seems to be the wrong place.
A psychiatrist? I'm no damned psychiatrist.
Psychiatry is a plague only exceeded by surgery.
lf you ask me for a lollipop should l give you a lollipop?
You'll get no damned lollipops from me.
Go to your psychiatrists and surgeons.
I'm going to die, I'm going to die.
Like heck! Nobody dies when the drum is calling.
The malingerer! ... She's almost convincing.
Rigmor!
Rigmor, you aren't at all cross ... or angry ...
... or slightly miffed?
l was just thinking it all happened so suddenly.
And to Haiti of all places! lt was kind of your place.
And you were expecting your surprise.
What is there to be angry about?
You must let the one you love have his freedom.
You are the way you are and that's what l love.
Little Rigmor, we ought to go away.
We need it, both of us.
Unfortunately my Volvo's at the garage.
You should ask them for a courtesy car.
lt's normal service in Denmark.
l am and always will be your little badger.
A soft, cuddly badger that bites till the bone goes crunch.
Hunters used to put charcoal in their boots
so the badger would think it had crushed the bone.
Why all this animal talk? Stop it.
There's a good girl. All right?
Thanks.
ls she going to lie here alone?
l don't want her left on her own.
Someone should be with her when she's so ill.
l see, a relative.
Some advice: never be seized by panic.
Giving in to your entire range of emotions
won't bring your relative closer back to life.
Think what would happen if l let myself be affected by what l see!
Disease, misfortune and misery all day long! Now wouldn't that be nice!
But it's mummy.
Just because you are a doctor you can get ill, you know!
Quite, quite, quite. Thank you.
Just because you are a doctor you can get ill ...
Obviously!
Just because you're a doctor you can get ill ...
Mummy ...
Where were you?
Oh, my darling ...
Mummy ...
Helmer is going to be our external examiner.
Why tell me? lt's your problem. l know the syllabus.
lt's a real bummer. l'll have to think of something.
Science.
You don't have much idea about girls, eh, Christian?
Let me give you some advice. You won't find it in the shops.
There's just one word you must remember about girls. One word.
Dishonesty ...
The source of love and happiness for all concerned.
Science! Science.
Science ...
You must tell them what they want to hear, no matter what.
What would you tell Sanne if you could?
That l was in love with her and that she was cute.
Not even you have the right to be that dumb.
You're in love with her? She's known that for 6 months.
What's your greatest shortcoming? That I'm boring.
God knows that's true. Let's say you're Sanne
and you're sure you're boring. The cleverest thing to tell you
would be that you were fascinating, right?
lf anyone told me that, l wouldn't believe them.
But you aren't a woman. Credibility doesn't count with them.
l'll demonstrate. Watch!
Hey, you did really well in there, Sanne.
You were great.
You struggled with yourself and won.
Not many of us guys could sit out an autopsy like that.
You're a tough kid, Sanne.
Do you think so? Yes. May l call you my friend?
Yes, you may ...
Take care, OK? l've got to get some sleep.
Well done.
Did you really swallow all that? Just like that?
lt was flattery.
Oh, you are so dumb.
And boring.
Oh, that's right, Stig.
l hadn't informed you that the Mona case
has been referred to the state prosecutor.
You'd better be prepared for questioning.
You've done nothing wrong so you've nothing to fear.
The lodge will not permit the slightest injustice.
I'm worried about Rigmor.
She recommended me a psychiatrist.
Medically he didn't look quite housetrained.
ls she keeping bad company? Sure, sure.
She keeps talking about animals, too. Double Dutch.
This is Double Dutch.
"The patient has glup, plips and numb".
What the hell is that? Glup, plips and numb?
With secretaries like that we'd be better off without them.
They need a spelling course.
Look at the top, under Cave.
lt says "Cave: Latin."
Yes! "Warning: the patient understands Latin".
l don't know what it's like in Sweden,
but patients here now have access to their files.
lt was inevitable. ln this case we're afraid
that the patient understands Latin.
lt may look like poor spelling, but it is a code.
A code to hinder any attempt by the patient to understand his file.
For the sake of his treatment, of course.
Yes, but what does it mean?
The patient is hysterical, hypochondriac
and hates doctors.
l see.
Sometimes l can't help being impressed by this little country.
Einar ...
... there is a matter l'd like to ask you about.
Fire away!
Has it ever occurred to you that we doctors can also get ill?
ln all your years of professional practice
have you ever pursued that thought to its end?
Yes, and here's a little tip l myself have benefited from greatly.
Always watch your bowel movements.
You know, faeces.
There are floaters and sinkers.
Floaters, and you've no cause for concern.
Oh, my God ...
ls it any good?
There's not much splatter. Just a fridge.
But there's someone in it who looks like you.
Hello! What have you found out about Helmer?
Nothing yet.
Maybe he's bluffing.
He's a gambler. The stakes are high. He's bluffing.
What do you mean?
Provoke him. Then you'll see if he's bluffing.
Didn't you play poker when you were at medical school?
Mogge, this is either very, very clever
or very, very stupid.
My little Rigmor ...
My little heartthrob ...
What are you reading today? Nietzsche or Strindberg?
Strindberg once came to this country.
lt was in summer. l suppose he was in exile.
He said Denmark was a "faecal hell".
Not very flattering, but perhaps rather accurate.
No, not Strindberg, but a new edition of the Haiti book.
They've revised the zombie poison chapter.
Medical science now takes a completely different view.
Of course some people turn into zombies, but most die of it.
And that is murder, which is a bit more criminal.
Well, shall we ... begin?
Excuse me, Professor Helmer, but it's very urgent.
The franking machine has broken.
I'm in such awful doubt as to the face values of the stamps to get.
Professor Moesgaard was so fond of the big, gaudy ones.
Don't worry, Mrs Svendsen, I'm sure even this problem can be solved.
We buy stamps of low face value and combine them as required.
Any questions? The blue needs analysis ...
That is enough, damn you.
Can't you see we are in conference? We are discussing
the best way of earning the confidence of our fellow men.
Or their trust. A shorter word.
Well spoken.
Trust is just the right word.
We should all rejoice when trust crosses frontiers.
Damn it, Stig ... l may call you Stig, mayn't l?
One isn't necessarily an idiot just because one is a Swede.
Thank you Stig because you are you.
Darling, don't come to see him on your own.
He's my baby. Mummy, is that my daddy?
This is the man who has promised to love you as a father.
You're not strong enough yet. OK, Darling.
Promise? Promise.
Good, Darling.
l'd rather err on the side of caution.
An infection has fought its way into the organism.
To save the latter the white corpuscles must pull together
rather than trip each other up.
The infection has many names. Homeopathy,
"alternative medicine", necromancy ...
Anything that would make a real scientist turn to drink ...
To keep the clear and present danger of the DG's attack at bay
l have but one proposal.
Cosmetics.
Cosmetics are the foundation of all medicine.
Think of all the diseases we cannot treat.
Do our departments get closed down for that reason?
No. Because we are masters of the cosmetic.
We make disease look less ugly and upsetting.
lf the DG really does intend to visit our wards,
we must get out our cosmetics.
lt's an old wives' tale that we brethren never see eye to eye.
The Therapy Committee has just agreed to buy a billiard table.
lt'll be here in a fortnight.
l think l have something to report. Yes?
l didn't quite get the bit about the white corpuscles.
But it rather seems that psychiatry is at risk of infection.
A chap called Ole has set up in the basement.
Ladies' Ole? ls he on the rampage again?
Splendid, Moesgaard, you deal with him.
Psychiatry is an area where new ideas are really dangerous.
Get rid of him. Show no quarter!
The good ship Wasa was a triumph compared to this.
As long as my ship still sails And my heart still beats
And the sun still Sparkles on the waves
Here l kneel, gazing at what was once mine.
Danish scum!
This is what you have done to me.
Look at what Mona learned today ...
That one?
l'll help you turn them. You picked the right ones.
There.
LOVE MUMMY
Well done, Mona.
Oh, Darling ... how clever you are!
Mummy had no idea.
How can you? Mona can't even move her fingers.
l know, but l think it's all right.
I'm so sorry for Mona's mother. She has nobody else.
lf l can cheer her up by a bit of cheating, it's OK by me.
l want to thank you ... for all you've done for Mona.
l am so happy!
300 on red!
Countdown: 10, 9, 8,
7, 6, 5, 4,
3, 2, 1
Go!
lt's coming!
The people aren't the same again.
l thought they were so clever?
The evil eyes sow evil in both the clever and the stupid
so that the crimes of the past shall be the crimes of the present.
lt may start as stupidity but it will end as evil.
l really don't want ...
... to die now.
You're not going to die now, Mummy.
l can't die now.
lt was my fault if the hole was left open too long.
l ... must help the Kingdom.
Philip Marco ...
The greatest surgeon of our time.
Never heard of him. No ...
Psychic surgery has always faced adversity.
The ambulance is running.
The ambulance.
Take it easy, Mummy, take it easy.
There is ...
... something evil in the Kingdom.
And the eyes are watching me.
The ...
... evil ...
... eyes.
We must operate again. Yes.
l must ... help ... the Kingdom.
Pulse faint.
She's fibrillating. The paddles ...
Now!
Come on!
Come on! Out!
Stand aside.
Well, it was no good. There was no bite,
and those great expectations got well and truly run down.
The spirit was gone,
as was the humble hope of a repeat of past successes.
Yet perhaps the spirit hadn't quite vanished.
Mrs Drusse's, that is.
For beneath the worn ceiling tiles in the operating theatre
it was still peeping out.
Perhaps it is when we let that go that we make our greatest gain.
Taste and habit go hand in hand
but letting them run away with us will do us no good.
But if we can relinquish just once what has comforted and filled us
and really say goodbye,
perhaps the result will be a merry wee "hello"
to something new, unlike the old and not tasting like it,
and for precisely that reason not so bad at all.
My name is Lars von Trier and l wish you a really good evening.
lf you're drawn by the Kingdom again
I'm sure you'll remember to be prepared
to take the Good with the Evil.