Clubs
not only are they a fun distraction,
but they help create a community --
an isolated, exclusive community.
I really hope we make the cut for cartwheel club this year.
They're looking for new members for their 40-year world tour.
It's always been my dream to tour for 40 years.
Ever since I was a little girl,
I've wanted to see my name on a list.
Debra!
Yes!
And...
What?
I can't believe I'm not on the list.
Well, what did you expect?
You can't do a cartwheel.
And that's nothing to be embarrassed about.
It's something to be ashamed of.
This is so huge.
Turns out I'm even more special than I thought.
Turns out people can see me.
I can't wait to hear all about you guys at brunch.
Well, obviously we can't make brunch today.
We're doing something more fun.
Well, that's actually perfect for me
because I actually can't make brunch either.
I'm gonna be spending some quality time with my son, Trayden.
I haven't seen him in weeks, so...
Mom, mom!
I made the club!
They're my family now.
You had some of the best auditions we've ever seen.
I'm Timmy, king of cartwheel club.
And I'm Tammy, king of cartwheel club,
and you of course are Debra, Debra, and...
I want to say Derba.
My name is Debra.
Sorry, you just look like a Derba to me.
You must get that all the time.
I must.
All in!
Sorry, Derbra, members only.
When we say cart, you say wheel club.
- Cart! - Wheel club!
That's perfect.
I didn't want to be a part of cartwheel club anyway.
I mean, laughing and hugging, how condescending.
Finally, someone has made a safe space for me
to be upside down.
It is so nice to be recognized for all of my skill.
Everyone gather round.
Welcome, new members.
You're all here because you're capable of executing
the greatest feat the human body can perform,
the cartwheel.
Great job, kid.
Go buy me something nice.
Now, this won't be easy, and you're not going to like it.
We are going to push you to the brink.
And by the brink, we mean the spotlight.
Your first cartwheel competition is tonight,
and the winners will join us on tour.
We're going to start with the foundation of the cartwheel,
some would say the easiest part,
standing up.
They want us to stand up?
We're out of our league here.
We are gonna have to play dirty.
Taking matters into our own hands.
No, shooting steroids into our own arms.
Oh, my god. Epic.
I thought that was gatorade.
Should we read the side effects first?
Zip it.
What are you, 4'2"?
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
I didn't want to be in cartwheel club.
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
I didn't want to be in cartwheel club.
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
Hey, where are you going?
Come back. I'm talking to you.
Oh, let me guess.
You're going to cartwheel club too.
Well, if you're not gonna let me
project my feelings about my friends on to you,
I guess I'll just go spy on them in silence!
Go, Debra! Go, Debra!
Go, Debra.
And, Debra,
not bad, but not good either.
But you're better than everyone else,
which makes you less bad than them.
I think you've got potential,
which means you're on your way.
Bottom line is you might just make the tour.
If you play your cards right.
It couldn't be more clear.
They just said we're definitely going on tour.
I will not be left alone like this.
All right, everybody.
One hour until the big cartwheel competition.
This is your last chance to prove you've got
what it takes to go on tour for 40 years.
That's four decades.
We'll be watching.
We need more 'roids.
Oh, no, the side effects!
Holy crap, the lizards are cheating!
Eye of newt,
toe of frog,
shrimp of scampi.
if I'm not having fun,
nobody is having fun!
Come one, come all to the cartwheel jubilee.
Bear witness to the spectacle of the great american cartwheel.
In the event of an emergency,
take note of the nearest exit.
Please keep in mind that it may be really, really small.
Please put your hands together for the cartwheel club mascot,
wheelie the cart!
I love you, wheelie!
And they're off!
Coming up next, we've got Debra!
And joining her, it's Debra!
Fee-fi-fo-fum, I can't wait to have some fun!
Me love cartwheel!
No!
Marbles, a cartwheeler's kryptonite!
Some would say their achilles heel.
Now is not the time for greek mythology.
That's an 8:15.
- This is your fault. - This is not my fault.
- This is your fault! - This is your fault!
There, there,
Derba's got you now.
Debra, I can't thank you enough
for saving us from ourselves today.
I'm so grateful we didn't make the tour.
I can't keep up that lifestyle for 40 years.
30 maybe, but...
Most importantly, I learned a really valuable lesson --
that I am scared of you.
And now we have a shared experience we can all laugh about.
Isn't it so funny that we almost died
over something as silly as a cartwheel?
That's not why this happened.
Wow, I made the tour!
Yes!