答案是什么? Okay, you ready for this?
我想是B As ever.
选择吧 As ever.
让我们开始游戏吧 Let's do it.
谁想成为百万富翁 Let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
谁有一句话说 Who wrote the phrase
没有男人是座岛 "No man is an island"?
詹连 John Donne?
詹米尔顿 John Milton?
詹恩甘迺迪 John F. Kennedy?
詹邦乔飞 Jon Bon Jovi?
詹邦乔飞嘛 Jon Bon Jovi.
太简单了 Too easy.
如果我可以这样的话 And, if I may say so,
我少了颗子弹 a complete load of bollocks.
在我看来 In my opinion,
所以男人都是一座岛 all men are islands.
还有 And what's more,
现在是时候成为什么呢 now's the time to be one.
现在是岛的时代 This is an island age.
比如说一百年前 A hundred years ago,
你必须依靠别人生存 you had to depend on other people.
他们没有TV、CD、DVD No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or videos...
放影机、家庭摄影机 ...or home espresso makers.
事实上他们没有什么厉害的东西 Actually, they didn't have anything cool.
而现在,你可以看见 Whereas now, you see...
你可以让你的小岛国成为天堂 ...you can make yourself a little island paradise.
有合适的供应品 With the right supplies and the right attitude...
更重要的是有正确的态度 ...you can be sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet...
你可以过皇帝一样的生活 ...for young Swedish tourists.
我是克莉丝迈尔 Hi, it's Kristina. I haven't heard from you.
我有非常棒的产品 I had a great time last weekend.
打电话给我,好吗? So give me a call, okay? 'Bye.
我愿意把自己当作这样的一座岛 And I like to think that perhaps I am that kind of island.
我愿意把自己想得非常酷 I like to think I'm pretty cool.
我愿意自己主宰自己 I like to think I'm Ibiza.
有些人一辈子都快快活活 There were people who had a good time in life.
可我已意识到了 I was beginning to realize
我不是他们当中的一员 I wasn't one of them.
我压根就不适合 I just didn't fit.
过去不适合 I didn't fit at my old school.
现在更不适合 I definitely didn't fit at my new one.
凯特终于不顾家长反对做了 I heard that some kids got taught by their parents at home.
她成功了 Mum couldn't do that,
但她说如果我不付钱 unless I paid her to teach me.
她不会教我 Because it was just her and me.
她去工作 And she went to work.
400镑的周薪 She made400 a week.
我简直望尘莫及 Where was I gonna get that kind of money from?
哪天我要是成了戏剧大明星 Maybe if I was like that movie kid, Haley Joel Osment...
也许我可以付的起 ...I could pay her that much.
不过目前还是忘记它好了 But if that meant being good at drama, forget it.
我讨厌戏剧 I was crap at drama.
因为我讨厌欺骗人感情的东西 'Cause I hated standing up in front of people.
但基本上说来 So, basically,
我不得不上学 I had to go to school.
这个地方没什么特别 The sad fact is that, like any island dweller...
但我不得不拜访这个岛 ...from time to time I had to visit the mainland.
好的,小天使 This is lmogene.
你可以抱他 You can hold her if you like.
可爱 Lovely.
她... Yeah, she's...
很有趣 delightful, isn't she?
当然 I know. Isn't she?
她好像不太习惯 To tell the truth, I'm being crap with her.
还是你来抱吧 You better take her back.
她只是紧张而已 She could've been yours if you got your act together.
也许吧 Just think of that, yeah.
你的房子看上去蛮不错 So, the place is looking really nice.
钱钱钱... Barney, Barney, Barney.
跟叔叔问好 Say hello to Will, Barney.
小捣蛋来了 Here we go. It's the Antichrist.
你好啊,邦尼 Hello, Barney. How are you?
他真可爱 -He's lovely. -Yeah.
你怎么样 And what about you, Will?
喜欢我这里吗? Any desire for a family of your own yet?
邦尼的尿布让我受不了 I'd rather eat Barney's nappies.
不怎么喜欢 Not really.
不过也许我该喜欢 I'm sort of all right as I am.
你说的什么话 What does that mean?
什么意思? "Please" What?
看看你 Look at yourself.
你今年38岁了 You're 38
从未有过正经工作 and you've never had a job...
也未有过超过两个月的关系 ...or a relationship that lasted longer than two months.
也许你很无所谓 I wouldn't exactly say you were okay.
但我可以说你是个灾难 I mean, I would say you were a disaster.
你的生命意义何在 I mean, what is the point of your life?
很好 Bloody hell.
也许你对 You're right.
我的生命毫无意义 There's probably no point to my life...
谢谢你提醒 ...but thank you for bringing it up.
我们今天请你来的原因 The reason we wanted you to come here today
是想问你 was we wanted to ask you...
你愿意当孩子教父吗? ...how would you like to be lmogene's godfather?
当真? 当真 Seriously? Seriously.
我真感动 Listen, I'm really, really touched.
但你们是在开玩笑吧? But you must be joking.
没有比我更差的教父了 I couldn't possibly think of a worse godfather for Imogene.
你们知道我有多糟的啦 You know me. I'll drop her at her christening.
最糟的人选 I'll forget her birthdays until her 18th,
我很可能会喝醉 when I'll take her out and get her drunk...
也许更糟 ...and possibly, let's face it,
好好想想 you know, try and shag her.
认真地说,我是一个很糟的选择 I mean, seriously, it's a very, very bad choice.
为什么? 我认为你很好 We know, I just thought you had hidden depths.
不不不...你错了 No. No. You've always had that wrong.
我是说真的 I really am this shallow.
我们到了 Here we are.
我们毕竟是要来的 You know you don't have to walk me to school anymore
就像今天 now, Mum.
上学是必然的 I know the way now.
好了,明白吗? But what if I like walking you to school?
明白 Right.
像羊一样 A sheep.
那好,羊是怎么样的? Right. And what does a sheep go?
麦克斯 Marcus?
我爱你 I love you.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
我爱你,麦克斯 "I love you, Marcus!"
爱你... "Love you!"
看他的傻样 Look at him!
我无法拒绝克莉斯汀和乔治当孩子教父 While I couldn't accept the offer to become their child's godfather...
我只有努力做好 I did allow them to set me up with Angie,
我和克莉斯汀合作颇好 a rather beautiful coworker of Christine's.
但他们还是忽略了告诉我一件事 They had, however, being them, neglected to tell me one thing.
关于我,你还有样东西不知道 There's something you don't know about me.
什么? Yeah?
兴奋的东西吗? Something exciting?
我想是的 I think so, yes.
我有个三岁的儿子 I have a 3-year-old boy.
此刻我想把我的餐巾扔在桌上 I wanted to throw the napkin on the floor,
然后推开桌子跑掉 push over the table and run.
是吗? Brilliant.
我喜欢孩子 I love kids.
当然 Yeah.
帮孩子做事很有乐趣 I like messing about with them. Doing kid things.
如果你没有孩子我还会失望呢 I'd have been disappointed if you didn't have a child.
为什么呢? Why do you say that?
天知道 God knows.
也许因为它听起来很安慰人吧 Mainly because it sounded smooth and winning.
因为我喜欢小孩 Because I love kids so much.
他们那么...可爱 They're so lovely.
白痴,你到底在说什么? What in God's name are you saying, you idiot?
她不会相信我说的狗屎 She can't be buying this rubbish.
可她真的相信了我的狗屎 But she did buy my rubbish.
接下来几个星期,我忽然成了个大好男人 And for the next few weeks I was suddenly Will the Good Guy.
那孩子马上就喜欢我了 Her kid took to me,
因为我带他到动物园 mainly because on our first meeting I took him to the zoo
把他倒过来甩了好几圈 and held him upside down by his ankles.
维持这段关系真不简单 I wish relationships with proper humans were that easy.
你真了不起 You know, you are brilliant.
我渐渐意识到 I came to realize that
对于一个单身妈妈 with single mums...
尤其是一个没受过孩子的父亲 particularly ones who'd been badly treated and eventually abandoned
好好对待的 by the father of their children,
会时常把你当模范 you became by comparison....
你真是个了不起的人 You are a wonderful person.
不不不... No, I'm not.
但想做到时时了不起是很难的 But it was hard to be wonderful all the time.
最后我开始思考 Eventually I began to wonder
到底安琪是不是我想要的人 whether Angie was exactly what I was looking for.
比如说 For instance,
有一天晚上看电影她就迟到了 she was late for the new IMAX movie
因为她说孩子不舒服 because the babysitter hadn't turned up.
让我有点不爽 That pissed me off.
没事吧? 没事 -You okay? -Yes.
其实是有问题的 And there were deeper problems.
她不能留宿我家 She couldn't stay at my place,
而她没有DVD或是卫星接播器 and she didn't have a DVD, or satellite or cable.
我们只好观看无聊的电视转播电影 So we were always stuck watching some crap made-for-TV movie.
我不得不结束 I was going to have to end it.
一直以来我表现的像个好男人 But having been Will the Good Guy...
所以这次我没有在分手时 ...I didn't relish going back to
扮演一个不可靠和毫无责任感的混蛋 my role of Will the Unreliable, Emotionally-stunted Asshole.
什么? 你想和我分手? I'm sorry? You're breaking up with me?
你真是个混帐 You...self-centered bastard.
我真不敢相信 I can't believe
我在你身上浪费了那么多时间 I've wasted all this time with you!
你真没用 You useless,
毫无价值 superficial loser.
那么... Will....
然后奇迹发生了 Then something magical happened.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我也希望事情能成 I'm not sure this is working out.
不是你的原因 It's not you.
你一直是个好男人 You've been great.
是我的原因 It's me.
由于我跟路易和他爸爸的关系 Well, my situation with Louie and his dad.
我还没打算另找一个开始长期关系 I'm not ready to launch into a relationship with anybody new.
当然 Yeah.
真对不起 I'm so sorry.
我想我明白的 I think I understand.
你真是个好好好好人 You're a wonderful man, Will.
我从未看过女人带着责任感而哭 I'd never watched a woman cry without feeling responsible before.
她太动情了 She even wanted me to forgive her.
这真奇妙 It felt amazing.
你没什么需要抱歉的,真的 Listen, you don't have anything to feel sorry about. Really.
就这样我跟安琪完了 So that was the end of Angie,
但这是一个新的开始 but the beginning of a whole new thing.
我是说单身妈妈 Single mums.
为什么以前没有告诉过我 Why hadn't anyone told me about them before?
她们有充满激情的性 Passionate sex,
不会过多纠缠 a lot of ego massage
给你自由 and a guilt-free parting.
她们成千上万 There must be thousands,
就等着和好男人睡觉然后分手 just waiting for a nice guy to sleep with and break up with.
绝妙性感惊艳的单身妈妈 Fabulous, sexy, gorgeous single mums.
我想吃椰子 Can I have Cocoa Puffs?
今天不是星期天 No, it's not Sunday.
哭泣又开始了 The crying had started again.
我害怕 And it scared me...
因为那是在早上 ...'cause now it was in the mornings.
她从来没那样过 She'd never done that before.
我不明白 I couldn't figure it out.
又没人死 Nobody was dead.
而且她是个不赖医生 She had a job as a music therapist,
她是那种问题小孩的医生 which is kind of a teacher for sick kids.
她没有温饱问题 So there was enough money for food and everything.
我要吃早餐了 Should I get my own breakfast?
我在做啊 No, I'm doing it.
老天 So,
想去上学了吧? you looking forward to school today?
非常感谢麦克斯 Thank you very much, Marcus.
你们好,我能加入吗? Hi, Nicky. Hi, Mark. Are you going to Computer Club later?
麦克斯 I don't know. Marcus....
玛当娜,过来啊 Madonna! Go on, give us a song!
别了,他们有问题 You'd like that, wouldn't you?
是吗? Spice Girls or something. Three of them. Yeah. Hey, Spice Girls.
别搞丢了我的足球 You made me lose my football.
麦克斯,我们不想跟你玩了 Marcus, we don't really want you hanging around with us anymore.
为什么? Why not?
因为他们 Well, it's because of them.
他们跟我们有什么关系? They've got nothing to do with me.
当然有关系 Yes, they do.
每次我们跟你玩,他们都会来找麻烦 We never had trouble with them before we started hanging out with you.
每一天都是这样 Now we get it every single day.
每一天都怪怪的 Besides, everyone thinks you're weird.
有点... Only a bit, though.
好的 Okay.
再见 'Bye.
事实就是这样 There you have it.
我在学校里过着猪狗不如的日子 I was having a shit time at home and a shit time at school.
我已决定了以后开始约会单身妈妈 It was fine deciding single mums were the future...
最叫人气馁的是一个电话号码也搞不到 ...but the frustrating truth was I didn't have their numbers.
爸爸 -Hi, Dad. -Hey.
她们到底在哪儿? Where did they hang out?
(单亲聚会)
(星期五下午两点)
单亲聚会 Spat.
真叫人兴奋 This was exciting.
想到约会单身妈妈 A potential gold mine of single mums.
我几乎可以看到那些美丽的尤物 I could see the beautiful creatures now,
喝醉了,一心想忘掉烦恼 getting roaring drunk forgetting their troubles,
准备好了大干一场 ready to rock and roll.
那是我怀孕七个月时发生的事 That was when I was 7 months pregnant.
到了我有了孩子时 By the time I had the baby,
他在纽约跟着另一个女人鬼混 he was in Majorca with another woman.
那不是他第一次背叛我了 Not even the one he cheated on me with the first time.
至于我,那是生孩子前一个星期的事 Well, with me, it was the week before the birth.
他说我变得太胖了 He said I'd got too fat.
他跟他的秘书有染 Mine was shagging his secretary.
老掉牙的故事 Such a cliche.
告诉你一件事 I'll tell you one thing:
我虽是个混蛋 Men are bastards.
但这样十分钟后, After about 10 minutes,
我觉得自己不是个男的 I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife.
至于我呢... Me.
我有个两岁的孩子 I have a 2-year-old. Ned.
他...有蓝眼睛 He's got blue eyes
黄棕色的头发 and sort of sandy-colored hair...
有2尺3寸高了 ...and he's about 2'3".
他妈妈抛弃了我们 And his mum left.
真的吗? Really?
是的 Yeah.
不得不说这很戏剧化 Yeah, I mean, obviously it was a very big shock...
我们曾经是那么开心 ...because we were so happy, you know?
完全没有心理准备 Sandra's neurology practice was just up and running...
有一天她开始收拾包袱 ...and then one day her bags were packed,
我最好的朋友就在外面等她 and my best friend was waiting outside...
坐在他的法拉利里 ...in his Ferrari.
那种加长型 Yeah. You know, the Modena?
你还可以看到他的 The one with the supercharged engine,
引擎的那种 where you can see it through the back window?
你被甩了 You got dumped then?
是的 Yeah.
请问...你的前妻有说什么吗? May I ask, does your ex see Ned at all?
对不起,你叫... Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
苏西 Suzie. Suzie.
她没说多少 She doesn't see much of him, no.
你是怎么熬过来的? How does he cope with that?
他是个很勇敢的小孩 He's a very good little boy.
很聪明 Very, very brave.
精力旺盛 They've got amazing resources, don't they?
有时我想念我的前妻 Just the other day I was thinking about my ex.
他就跑过来 He came crawling up, put his little pudgy arms around my neck,
抱着我的头说 and he said:
这不值得,爸 "You hang in there, Dad."
对一个两岁的小孩来说,这简直太神奇了 God, that's amazing for a 2-year-old!
是吗? Is it?
当然... Yeah,
他很特别... he's very special. Very, very special.
有时我觉得他在照顾我 Sometimes I think, you know, he's the one taking care of me.
教我明辨是非 Teaching me the ways of the world.
抱歉 Sorry.
谢谢 Thank you.
老天,看我多会演戏 My God, what a performancel
我差点把自己也骗了 I was even fooling myself.
很好 There you go.
是吗? 当然 You okay? Yeah. Perfect, thanks.
到了晚上,我已经表现出色了 By the end of the evening, I had a date lined up.
单亲大团结... Single parents alone together!
我为人人,人人为我 Single parents alone togetherl All for one and one for alll
一个问题就是 The problem was
我没有两岁的儿子 I also had an imaginary 2-year-old son.
单亲聚会野餐的那天 The date was a SPAT picnic in Regent's Park,
人人都会带他们的孩子来 with everyone bringing their kids.
我也开车载了婴儿车来,找了个藉口 Sadly, Ned couldn't be there.
说他妈妈临时找他接走了 His mum had come and picked him up at the last second.
真遗憾 What a shame.
是的 真可惜 Yeah. I'm sorry.
让我来 Got it.
这就是麦根 This is Megan, by the way.
真可爱
我有个朋友有点麻烦 A friend of mine from SPAT isn't feeling so great...
我想把她的孩子也带去野餐 ...so I said that we'd take her kid to the picnic, too.
好吗? ls that all right?
当然 Yeah.
出来吧!宝贝 Come on, slowcoach!
我真讨厌这一招 I hated that SPATlot.
虽然妈妈和苏西关系很不错 Mum's friend Suzie was fine,
但我还是觉得可怜兮兮的 but now there was that wally who wanted to get off with her.
这是麦克斯 Marcus, Will. Will, Marcus.
你好 Hi there.
大家上车吧 Pile in, everyone.
瞧我儿子干的 Look what a mess Ned made of the car seat.
他不来真可惜 What a shame he can't come.
你是干哪行的? So, what do you do?
我吗? Me?
我已经撒了太多谎了 There were too many lies to keep track of
我该说点真话了 so I told the truth.
无业游民 Nothing.
之前呢? Well, before then.
也是无业游民 What do you mean, before I did nothing?
我什么也不做 I did nothing.
你是说你从未工作过? You've never worked?
一阵一阵吧 I've done the odd day here and there, but, no.
很奇怪吧? Crazy, isn't it?
也许... It's.... Brilliant.
老天,我还是得告诉她 My God, I was going to have to tell her.
事实是这样的 What happened, in fact,
我写歌 was that my dad wrote a song...
1958年的事了 ...in 1958,
那首歌很有名 and it's quite a famous song...
基本上我以后的日子都靠它生存 and I basically live off the royalties of that.
你认识麦可杰克森吗? You know Michael Jackson?
他一秒钟就赚百万英镑 He makes a 1,000,000 a minute.
也就是每小时6千万英镑 That's 60,000,000 an hour.
我可没赚这么多,真是可怜 I don't make a1,000,000 a minute. Nothing like, sadly.
那大概是多少呢? How much then?
麦克斯 Marcus!
我开始想我们是不是有必要 I was beginning to wonder
治一治这个怪小孩了 if we'd be stuck with this weird kid all day.
那首歌叫什么呢? So, what's this song then?
既然这么有名,我们都应该听过 If you can live off it, we must've heard of it.
叫圣诞老人的超级鹿车 It's Santa's Super Sleigh.
老天,别唱出来 God, please don't sing it.
没想到你是第一个唱的 No, I think you two are the first.
你们才是呢 Sorry.
但是那个怎么赚钱呢? I don't understand. How does that make you money?
所有唱这首歌的歌手都要付一成吗? Do carol singers have to pay you 10 percent?
是的,所以我才有经济来源啊 They should, but you can't always catch the little bastards.
你和麦克斯多久见一次面? So, how often do you look after him? Marcus.
偶尔吧 Every once in a while.
他妈妈有点心情不顺 His mum's a little off-color sometimes.
心情不顺,依我看是疯掉了 You call it off-color, I call it nuts.
别这么说你妈 She's not nuts,
别这么刻薄 Marcus.
我们现在要来一个快乐的野餐 She just needs a weekend taking it easy.
让我们好好享受一下吧 We'll have a nice picnic,
看,这到底是什么? My God! What the hell is that?
我妈做的面包 My mum's homemade bread.
看样子蛮不错的 It looks pretty good.
才不呢 No, it isn't. It's healthy.
你在想他吧? You miss him, don't you?
谁? Who?
我儿子 Ned!
当然很想念 Yeah. Yeah, very much.
他很可爱... He'd have loved this.
我不小心搞死了只鸭子 I think I killed a duck.
我只想喂牠 I was only trying to feed it.
那个浮在水上的是什么? What's that floating in the water next to it?
是你妈妈做的面包吗? Is that your mum's bread?
你不该把整个面包甩在水里 You didn't have to throw the whole loaf.
这样喂我我也会死的 That would've killed me.
谁把那个大面包扔给鸭子的? You the one who was throwing bloody great loaves at the ducks?
是他 Yeah, he was,
虽然我阻止他了 but I've stopped him now.
没大碍嘛 You know, boys will be boys, and all that.
那是谁搞死了那鸭子呢? So he killed it.
不,对不起,你误会了 No. Sorry, I misunderstood you.
那鸭子之前就已经死了 The duck was dead already.
他把面包扔下去只是想把鸭子弄沉下去 He was throwing bread to try and sink the body...
因为那死鸭子让人看了难过 ...because Megan here was getting upset.
孩子是不会弄死鸭子的 Marcus wouldn't kill a duck.
是吗?麦克斯 Would you, Marcus?
是的 No.
我喜欢鸭子 I love ducks.
鸭子是我第二喜欢的动物 They're my second favorite animal
我最喜欢的是海豚 after dolphins.
他们能搞死鱼毫不费力 They can kill sharks with their noses.
那好吧 I'll have to wade in and get it.
希望不会太麻烦吧 Listen, I hope it's not some sort of epidemic.
我们成功了,对吧? I think we beat the rap there, mate.
麦克斯 Marcus?
妈妈? Mum.
那天 That day,
那个死鸭子的那天 the Dead Duck Day,
终于结束了 was when it all began.
他们送我回家 That bloke Will just followed us in
我没告诉他们详细情形 and I didn't tell him not to.
后来我意识到 Afterwards, I realized that
我根本不用紧张 there was no way I could have been nervous just then...
因为我根本没有 because just then I didn't know
紧张的理由 there was anything to be nervous about.
当我把钥匙插入锁眼,开门 But then I put the key in the lock, opened the door....
我生活中的另外一部份开始了 And a new part of my life started.
老天 Oh, my God.
叫救护车 Will, call an ambulance.
麦克斯,电话在哪? Marcus, where's the phone?
电话在哪? Where's the phone, mate?
太可怕了 It was horrible.
实在是太可怕了 Horrible.
高速驾车的感觉太美妙了 But driving fast behind the ambulance was fantastic.
她恢复神智了,她在救护车里很好 She's conscious. She was okay in the ambulance.
别担心,麦克斯! 是的 She was asking after you, Marcus. That's nice of her.
听着,这不关你的事,明白吗? Listen, you know this has nothing to do with you, don't you?
什么? What?
你不是她自杀的原因 I mean, you're not the reason that she....
你不是她来这里的原因 You're not the reason that she's here.
我说的对吗? Isn't that right, Will?
当然,没错 Yeah, that's right.
我给你买点水 I'll go get you some water.
让我来 I can get that.
没事 No, you're okay.
你妈不会有事的 Your mum's going to be okay.
希望吧 Yeah, I suppose.
但那不是关键 That's not the point, though, is it?
好的,你是说... Right, you mean
你怕她会再自杀 you're afraid she might try again?
这不是关键 Just shut up, all right?
冰凉的水 There you go, warm and flat.
你是珍妮的亲友吗? Are you with Fiona Brewer?
是的 Yes,
我是她的朋友苏西 I'm her friend Suzie.
这是麦克斯 This is Marcus and Will.
她目前稳定,但需要人好好照顾 She's recovering well, but we'll keep her overnight.
今晚你们 I'm going to get a consent form for Ms. Brewer
谁可以留下来陪她? so the boy can stay with you two tonight.
好的 Right.
让我来吧 So, my place or yours?
不要紧 Sorry. Okay.
要我帮忙吗? I should get back to Ned, I think.
我可以了 I'll take that. All right.
整件事真有趣 All in all, this was very interesting.
但我可不愿意每晚如此 But I wouldn't want to do it every night.
再见 See you soon.
一个人的生命真像电视剧 The thing is, a person's life is like a TV show.
我就是整出戏的主角 I was the star of The Will Show.
这戏剧太荒谬 And The Will Show wasn't an ensemble drama.
看戏剧的人来了又走 Guests came and went,
但我始终是那个演戏的主角 but I was the regular.
现在焦点又是我了,我一个人 It came down to me, and me alone.
如果麦克斯的妈妈不能独自演好她的戏 If Marcus' mum couldn't manage her own show...
如果她的幕布要拉上 ...if her ratings were falling,
我们虽然悲伤 it was sad,
但毕竟那是她自己的问题 but that was her problem.
最后, Ultimately,
这单身妈妈的情节变得有点复杂了 the whole single-mum plot line was a bit complicated for me.
我看过信了 I got the letter.
谢谢 Thanks.
我忘了 Oh, my God. I'd forgotten.
你忘了? You forgot?
你忘了你曾自杀 You forgot a suicide letter?
我必须记得吗? I didn't think I'd have to remember it, did I?
你读了那段我说我会永远爱你的吗? Did you read the part where I said I'd always love you?
你死了也会爱我吗? It's a bit hard for you to love me when you're dead, isn't it?
对不起 I'm sorry.
我理解你生气的理由 I can understand why you're angry, Marcus.
但今天已经不是昨天了 I don't feel the same as I did yesterday, if that's any help.
什么? What?
一切都过去了,是吗? It's all just gone away? All that?
不是,但... No, but...
目前来说 ...at the moment,
我感觉好些了 I feel better.
但我的感觉不好 "At the moment" Is no good to me.
虽然此刻你好一点了 I can see you feel better at the moment.
但你只是在掩饰 You just put the kettle on.
明天呢? But what happens when you finish your tea?
当我又回到学校呢? What happens when I go back to school?
我不能时时刻刻在你身边 I can't be here to watch you all the time.
我知道 I know.
我们必须信任对方 We have to look after each other. The two of us.
我忽然意识到 Suddenly I realized
两个人是不够的 two people isn't enough.
你需要一种支持 You need a backup.
如果只有两个人 If you're only two people,
你们很快就会走到边缘 and someone drops off the edge...
到时只有你自己了 ...then you're on your own.
二这个数字不够大 Two isn't a large enough number.
至少试一试 You need three, at least.
试什么? Three what?
没什么 Nothing.
但我有个绝妙的主意 But I'd had a great idea.
小岛生活最关键的一点 The important thing in island living
就是要积极寻找活动 is to be your own activities director.
把一天分成几个时段 I find the key is to think of a day as units of time...
每段时间不多于30分钟 ...each unit consisting of no more than 30 minutes.
一个小时太奢侈 Full hours can be a little bit intimidating...
大多数活动持续在半个小时就好了 ...and most activities take about half an hour.
洗个澡...一个时段 Taking a bath: One unit.
看电视节目...一个时段 Watching Countdown: Okay.... One unit.
上网搜寻...两个时段 Web-based research: Two units.
锻练...三个时段 Exercising: Three units.
整理我的头发...四个时段 Having my hair carefully disheveled: Four units.
充实地花掉一天时间感觉真好 It's amazing how the day fills up.
如果我有时间 I often wonder, to be absolutely honest...
我是有想着完完全全地坦白的 ...if I'd ever really have time for a job.
是谁? How do people cram them in?
我是麦克斯 It's Marcus.
什么? Pardon?
麦克斯 It's Marcus.
谁? Marcus?
是你 Marcus. Hi.
你怎么会有我的电话呢? How'd you get my number?
是苏西告诉我的 From Suzie.
我以为你今天要带我出去跳舞 I thought you'd like to take me out for the day on Saturday.
你为什么这么想 And why did you think that, Marcus?
你对苏西说的 Suzie said we hit it off.
是吗? Did she?
是的 Yeah.
你说一会儿见 And you said, "See you soon."
什么? I said what?
一会儿见 "See you soon."
你忘了吗? 你说的一会儿见的啊 The night you dropped us off. Remember? You said, "See you soon."
好的 This is soon, all right, Marcus.
但不是一会儿,我现在有点忙 The thing is, mate, my life is kind of hectic at the moment.
为什么? 你不是不用工作的吗? Why? I thought you did nothing.
听着,我得弄好一些东西 I've got Ned and stuff to look after.
也许你要等一等 Matter of fact, I should be on the way to preschool right now.
那是什么声音 What's that noise?
是除草器 That's a lawn mower.
只是时间的问题有点... So, you know, just time-wise it's not....
等一等,先别挂断 Tell you what, just hold the line one sec.
然而我想了想,为什么不呢? But then I thought, "Why not?"
为什么我不争取点机会呢? Why shouldn't I take the poor little sod out for a meal?
我可以当个好叔叔 I could be Uncle Will.
讨人喜欢的好好叔叔 Cool Uncle Will,
对一个孩子而言 King of the Kids.
好的,麦克斯 Okay, Marcus. You're on.
把我妈妈也带上吧 I'll come if you take my mum, too.
为什么? 她没钱 She has no money,
我们得去一个便点的地方 so we'll have to go somewhere cheap
如果你不请客的话 or you'll have to treat us.
听着,别拐弯抹角 Listen, don't beat about the bush, Marcus.
我为什么要? 你又不蠢 Why should I?
你完全知道我的意思 We're poor. You're rich. You pay.
你也不蠢! 好的 That's really big of you. Fine.
12点半过来吧 Come round at 12:30 or something.
记得我们分手的地方吗? Remember where we live?
31号,东灵顿街,第二栋楼,伦敦 Flat 2, 31 Craysfield Road, Islington, London, N12SF.
我就是在宇宙里都不会迷路 England, the world, the universe.
那好 Yeah.
麦克斯? Marcus?
菲安娜,你好吗? So, Fiona, how are you?
我是说 I mean,
你现在感觉如何? how are you feeling?
我的胃还好 My stomach's fine.
那就好 Great.
昨晚的鱼真难吃 I must still be a bit barmy, though.
但隔夜的事就不提了 This kind of thing doesn't go away overnight, does it?
如果妈妈没有兴趣 If Mum was going to get Will to marry her,
停止搞笑就是一个暗号 she'd have to quit making jokes.
但至少她看上去还算漂亮 At least she looked good.
看来我要采取积极措施 I had her put on that nice hairy jumper
以免浪费了心机 and the earrings she got from her friend that went to Zimbabwe.
那孩子以为这是所谓的约会 The kid seemed to think this was a date.
而那妈妈呢...也有点不清醒 As for his mum, she was clearly insane...
看看她穿的衣服就知 ...and appeared to be wearing some kind of Yeti costume.
还是算了吧 This had better be quick.
我们显然不需要开胃菜 We were definitely not ordering starters.
至于开胃菜我要山楂 I'll start with the artichoke, please.
上面有磨菇和咖哩 Then I'll have a mushroom omelet with fries and a Coke.
我要蔬菜沙拉 I'll have the vegetable platter.
我们是素食者 We're vegetarians.
给我份公司三明治 Steak sandwich, please, mate. Thanks.
看样子形势还好 This was going really well.
我们也许还要转移到 I wondered if we were going to move into Will's place
别的地方去 or move into someplace new.
我当然知道这首歌不可能一直唱下去 I knew, of course, the song couldn't last forever...
我终将会舒舒服服地躺在自己家中 ...that I'd soon be at home, tucked up in bed.
我知道 I knew it,
但我感觉不到 but I couldn't feel it.
我想我是疯了 I must've been insane.
我原本是想约会苏西的 All I'd wanted was a date with Suzie.
这也许是对我的惩罚 This was my punishment.
最糟的就是他们闭上眼的时候 The worst part was when they closed their eyes.
过来跟我们一起唱 Come sing with us, Will.
我该告辞了,谢谢 I should really get going. Thanks.
那就是慈善的问题了 That's the problem with charity. You must mean it.
你要做善事时一定要做到给人一种意义 You have to mean things to help people.
每一次我主动帮助他人 Like the time I volunteered to help out at a soup kitchen...
差一点成功时,问题就来了 ...and very nearly made it.
你知道光讲笑话都可以坐7年牢吗? Did you know in Burma you get seven years in prison for telling jokes?
下一次你笑时 Next time you laugh,
千万要考虑好你讲的是什么笑话 think of Pa Pa Lay, the Burmese standup comedian.
我们一直在为你们争取人权 We're at a crucial stage in our struggle for human rights...
虽然人权一直被滥用 ...which have been grossly abused by the ruling junta.
我们需要你的支持 We need your support more than ever.
我们可以改变一切 Together we can make a difference....
谁在扯淡 You're kidding.
是谁的男友说的 And what's your boyfriend say about that?
等等 Wait a minute.
你是说你没有男友吗? You say you haven't got a boyfriend?
你在说什么违背人权 Talk about human rights violations.
是的 Is that right?
你在哪里? You're in the bath now?
帮助他人时一定要同时给他们一种意义 You have to mean things to help people.
如果你唱...轻柔地杀死我 Fiona meant Killing Me Softly.
其实轻柔地杀也是一种伤害 Killing Me Softly meant something to her
看她最后怎么了 and look where she ended up.
我? Me,
我可没什么打算 I didn't mean anything,
我对任何人都没有任何打算 about anything, to anyone.
我也知道这种态度给予我长期自由的生活 I knew that guaranteed me a long, depression-free life.
然而接下来的几天 Yet over the next few days,
我总有种奇怪的感觉 I did have a strange feeling.
像是在牢狱里一样被人看着 Like a presence lurking at the back of my mind.
我不喜欢这种感觉 And I didn't like it.
你没有孩子的 You don't have a kid,
是吧? do you?
什么? What?
你根本没有孩子,是吧? You don't have a kid, do you?
我当然有孩子啦,你在说些什么嘛 Of course I do! What are you on about?
不,你没有 No, you don't.
我一直在观察你,你没有孩子的 I've been watching you, and you don't have a kid.
这对你有什么关系呢 What is it to you, anyway?
是没关系 Nothing.
只是你一直对我 Except you've been lying to me,
我妈和我妈朋友撒谎罢了 my mum and my mum's friend.
我能进来吗? Can I come in?
不行! 为什么? -No. -Why?
因为我很忙 'Cause I'm busy.
你在干什么? What are you doing?
我在看电视 I'm watching TV.
如果你喜欢,我可以跟你一块儿看 I could watch it with you, if you like.
你真热情 That's very nice of you...
可我用自己的眼睛看电视,谢了 ...but I usually manage on my own, thanks.
你没有别的事干了吗? Don't you have homework to do, or something?
对,所以帮我啰 Want to help?
你何不回家做作业 I meant, why don't you go home and do your homework?
我会的 I'll do you a deal.
回家我就告诉每个人说你没有孩子 I won't tell anyone you don't have a kid
除非你喜欢妈妈 if you go out with my mum.
好的 Okay.
你为什么想让你妈和我这样的人一起 You'd want your mum to go out with someone like me?
我认为你还不太坏 You're not too bad.
我是指,不至于大奸大恶,对吧? I mean, you told lies, but apart from that you seem okay.
她那样说过 And she's sad.
我想她想要个男朋友 I think she'd like a boyfriend.
你要知道不能因为你想,我就和某人出去 I can't just go out with someone, because you want me to.
我要忠于自己 I'd have to like the person, as well.
这又怎么了? What's wrong with her?
没怎么 Nothing's wrong with her,
只是因为系统关系 it's just the system.
我不会和你说这个 That's how it.... I'm not talking about this with you.
你走吧 Just go.
好的,我会再来的 Okay. But I'll be back.
我好怕哦 I'm really scared!
这是我能做的最好方式 That's the best I could come up with,
我怕谁呢? "I'm scared."
但事实上,我在害怕 But as a matter of fact, I was.
好了,节目结束了 Okay, that's it.
汤姆,再见! 乔,再见! Tim, goodbye. Jill, goodbye.
卡罗,再见! 再见! -Carol, goodbye. -Goodbye.
好的,我不会教你的,再见 And from me, arrivederci. Bye-bye.
谢谢,再见 Thanks. See you.
大家好,欢迎再次收看 Hello, everybody. Welcome to the game of Countdown.
记得昨天卡罗不想升级 You remember yesterday, Carol, I revealed to a grateful nation...
对了,这问题怎么样? Changes for each show. But he is such a--
汉诺博士的问题找到答案 Named after Heinrich Christian Funck,
他肯定很失望 who also invented disco dancing.
妈妈 Mum,
你是不是一直就是个素食者? did you always know I was going to be a vegetarian?
当然是啊 Yeah, of course I did.
我从一开始就对火腿之类食物 I didn't decide on the spur of the moment
不感兴趣 'cause we ran out of sausages.
那我为什么也要做素食者? Did you ask me if I wanted to be a vegetarian?
你一出生就是了 What, when you were born?
我不会烧肉菜 I do the cooking and I don't want to cook meat.
所以我吃什么,你就得吃什么 You have to eat what I eat.
你也不喜欢我去宿舍住 But you don't let me go to McDonald's, either.
你不是答应我 Is this premature teenage rebellion?
今晚回来住的吗 I can't stop you from going to McDonald's.
你失信我会很失望的 I'd just be disappointed if you did.
妈妈,不要担心,我不去就是了 Don't worry, Mum. I won't go to McDonald's.
交往多了之后 After a few visits,
卢森开始问我一些严肃的问题 Will seemed to think he had to ask me serious questions.
但我知道他关心的只是"公主" But I knew he really wanted to watch Warrior Princess.
阿姆兰最近怎么样了? So, how's it going at home then?
你是指我妈? You mean my mum?
是的 Yeah.
她很好 She's all right, thanks.
你确定吗? I mean, you know, she's....
不,我也不肯定 Yeah, I know. No, nothing like that.
我还是不相信 Does it still bother you, then?
我老是想起 Does it bother me?
每天都想起 Every single day.
这也是我来此而不回家的原因 That's why I come here, instead of going home.
你想家吗? A bit. When I think about it.
什么狗屁家 Fucking hell.
我不知道我的声音传达了什么 I don't know why he swore like that, but it made me feel better.
只要不是因为可怜以致于让人害怕 It made me feel like I wasn't being pathetic to get so scared.
我就会好过点 I wouldn't make the mistake
我不会责怪费里 of asking about Fiona again.
他十分调皮 Marcus was clearly screwed up about it...
不幸的是 ...and unfortunately
我觉得我说出的话将毫无意义 I couldn't think of anything to say that'd be of any value.
所以我打算 Next time he could talk to Suzie,
在超市打发下午时光 or a counselor or anybody capable of something more than an obscenity.
干,怎么可能这样? Shit! It can't be.
11月9日,还有6星期才到圣诞节 November-the-sodding-19. Six weeks before Christmas
他们已经开始播放这首曲子 and already they were playing the bloody thing.
你的人生目标是什么? Dad? What was your dad like?
不知道 A bit sad, really.
当你发现已定的目标 You know, he wrote one crap song
无法实现 that turned out to be a massive hit...
你会穷其下半生去找另外的一个 and then spent the rest of his life trying to write a better one.
你是这样的吗? Do you ever want to write songs like him?
一定很痛苦吧 Is that what the guitar's for?
你承认了 So, that's just there to look cool.
是 Yeah.
我喜欢那首歌 I like Santa's Super Sleigh.
今天的节目告诉你 On Pet Rescue today,
聪明的动物怎么保护牠们的巢 the clever stoat keeps everyone on their toes in Somerset.
你是谁? Who are you?
你们在干什么? What are you doing?
我是谁? Who am I?
不想挨打就快走,我生气了 Bugger off, that's who I am! Go on, piss off!
他们是什么人? Who were they, then?
谁? Who?
你还问我? What do you mean, "Who?"
刚才那群小孩 The ones trying to embed sweets into your skull.
他们是学校里比我大的学生 Oh, them. They're just a couple of older kids.
这种事经常发生吗? Does this happen often?
有的,但以前没有这么严重了 They never chucked sweets before, they just thought of that.
他们想杀了你似的 I'm not talking about the sweets. The kids trying to kill you.
他们的确经常捉弄我 Yeah, they give me a hard time.
我的头发、穿着,甚至歌声 You know, about my hair, and my clothes and singing and stuff.
什么?歌声 And what? And singing?
有时候我会唱歌 Sometimes I sing out loud without noticing.
这不是什么大事情 That's not a brilliant idea, is it?
是啊!我不知道他们怎么会注意到 I said I did it without noticing, didn't I? It just happens!
我又没有故意在他们面前唱 I'm not going to do it on purpose, am I? I'm not stupid, you know.
我的建议是 My advice is
不要管人家怎么说,当作他们隐形 to keep out of people's way. Try to make yourself invisible.
怎么可能当他们隐形? How can I be invisible?
世界上又没有隐形机器 One machine in your kitchen is an invisible machine?
我也想有办法解决 I don't think so. I just try not to think of it, that's all.
可是每次照样发生 It happens, and I wish it didn't, but that's life, isn't it?
不是我可以解决的 There's nothing I can do about it.
有件事我们可以做 No. There is something we can do about it, Marcus.
跟我来 You're coming with me.
我怀疑他要带我到什么神秘园去 I was worried he was going to take me to the headmistress' office.
可他只带我去购物 But instead he took me shopping.
我不懂! 我要改变你的装束 I don't get it. We're starting with your feet.
你不能隐形, I can't make you invisible,
可你可以跑的快一点 but I can make you blend in with the crowd.
它可以让我跑的更快吗? I don't know how to tie them. They've got these funny strappy things.
它享用最先进的技术 It's called Velcro. It's a revolutionary new technology.
不是很难 For Christ's sake. It's not hard.
等等,有一点困难 All right, wait a minute, it is a bit hard.
还顺利吗? Everything all right?
是的,谢谢 Yeah, thanks.
你穿鞋的动作也不熟吗? Pretty trendy, your old man, isn't he?
你觉得自己很酷吧 There. You think you look cool, don't you?
你觉得怎么样? Do you think I look cool?
我觉得你很酷 Yeah, Marcus. I think you look cool.
是的 Yeah.
走起路来更加酷 That's it, you got the walk. That's really cool.
我被一种幸福的感觉包围着 I was suddenly hit by an extraordinary rush of well-being.
这就是人们常说的"自然兴奋" So this is what people meant by a natural high.
只要花60英镑 And it only cost60.
就可让一个不开心的男孩暂时开心起来 I had made an unhappy boy temporarily happy.
而我一定没有损失 And there wasn't anything in it for me at all.
甚至不用向妈妈汇报 I didn't even want to shag his mum.
麦克斯,你的鞋子去哪里了? Marcus! What happened to your shoes?
被他们偷掉了 They stole them.
为什么他们要偷你的鞋? Why would anyone want to steal your shoes?
我告诉了他真相 I could see I had to tell the truth.
谁知道会给休带来了麻烦 The problem was, the truth would lead to a lot more questions.
那鞋很好啊,它们不过是普通的球鞋 They were nice ones. They were just ordinary brown lace-ups.
不是那双,是新型运动鞋 No, they weren't. They were cool new trainers.
谁给你的新鞋? Where did you get cool new trainers?
问题一个一个来了 She had loads more questions.
休给我买的 Will bought them for me.
他带我们吃了一顿饭 The guy who took us to lunch?
是啊,所以我们做了朋友 Yeah. He's sort of become my friend.
她不停地重复我说的最后一句话 She kept repeating the last thing I said.
甚至大声嚷嚷 Except she shouted it.
放学后去他家 I go round to his place after school.
放学后去他家 You go round to his place after school!
他没有小孩 You see, he doesn't really have a kid.
他真的没有小孩 He doesn't really have a kid?
我可以去换个衣服了吗? Can I play computer games now?
他住哪里? Where does he live?
他现在不在,吃饭去了 He's not there at the moment. He's out to dinner.
克莉丝约我出去吃饭 Christine had asked me to dinner for a pep talk.
你打算不要小孩子这样过吗? You will end up childless and alone.
是的 Both fingers crossed, yeah.
这需要很大勇气 You must have a lot of courage.
是吧 Why is that, Christine?
大多数人需要小孩使生活更充实 Most people need something in their lives to keep them afloat.
这让你害怕吗? Doesn't that scare you?
你想要点什么? Do you know what you want?
我要 Yes, I do. I'll have the steak--
原来他放学后在你那里逗留 What the hell are these little after-school tea parties about?
你说什么? Hi. Sorry? What did you say?
我只是觉得奇怪 I was just wondering
一个单身男人 why a single, childless man
和个12岁男孩来往干什么 would want to hang out with a 12-year-old boy every day?
你没有告诉你妈我的事情 You didn't tell your mum that you've been coming round?
我觉得没必要 I think I forgot.
告诉我什么? Tell me what?
你想对我儿子怎么样? What are you doing with my son?
等等,你这样什么意思? Wait a minute. What are you suggesting here?
我没有什么特别意思 -I'm not suggesting anything. -I think you are.
你意思是我和你儿子有不正当交往 You were suggesting that I've been interfering with your son.
我问你为什么你要在你的房子 I'm simply asking you why
招待一个12岁的男孩 you entertain 12-year-olds in your flat.
我的天啊 -My God! -Oh, my God!
你有什么可说的? What do you have to say for yourself?
说啊 Well?
有什么可说的 Don't "Well" Me! Don't "Well" Me about this!
他只不过是每天过来小坐一会 He comes over uninvited every night!
你知道吗?他在学校被人欺负 Do you know why? He's having the shit bullied out of him at school!
而你在家不闻不问 And you haven't got a clue.
他每天都在学校 He's been taken to pieces every day of the week,
很不开心 you daft, fucking hippie!
你不用教训我 I think you're being a bit melodramatic. Marcus is fine.
太奇怪了 Strange.
妈妈认为她是对的,可她错了 Will had it right, Mum didn't.
为什么不找更好的办法解决 It should be the other way around.
我以前就是跟他差不多,我学校也糟透了 I used to be a bloody kid! I went to a bloody school.
我很清楚他在学校的处境 I know when kids can't settle down and when kids are miserable!
看看他吧!看在上帝的份上 Look at him, for Christ's sake!
你还教训我 Don't accuse me of being melodramatic.
不要吵了 -This coming from a woman who tried to-- -Cowabunga!
你怎么了? What's the matter with you?
没什么 Nothing. I just felt like a shout.
天啊!这是个什么家庭 Jesus, what a family.
你们打扰了其他顾客 Will, you're disturbing the other customers.
对不起,我们说完了 It's fine. I'm sorry. I'm done.
你不是?... Okay, so, you're not...
不! 我不是! No, I'm not! No, I'm not.
听着,别担心, Listen, don't worry about it.
我再也不会让他去我家了 I won't open the door to Marcus again, okay?
我很高兴解脱 I'll be glad to be rid of the pair of you, frankly. Go on. Bugger off.
对不起 Sorry.
不过如此,是吧? So that's it, is it?
他需要人照顾 You're just out of his life, like that.
再说一遍 Excuse me?
我说你是对的,我错了 Let's say you're right and I'm wrong.
我不了解马克的世界, Let's say there's this whole world that I don't understand,
你却奇迹般地懂他 and somehow, miraculously, you do.
你打算怎么办? What are you going to do about it?
我什么都不打算做,根本不干我的事 I'm not going to do anything. He's none of my business.
他总是把自己摆在第一位 He always puts himself first.
因为我一个人住啊 But I'm on my own.
除了我就没有其他人了 It's just me.
没错!但现在不同,马克被牵连进来了 Yes, there is! There's Marcus. You're involved now.
他去你家 He keeps coming around your bloody house.
现在你既然已经接纳了他 You've come into his life for a reason.
就不能把他赶出你的生活 You can't just shut him out.
没有男人是座岛屿 You can't shut life out. "No man is an island."
她是对的 She's right, you know.
说的没错 Yeah, she is.
不,她是错的 No, she's not! She's wrong!
有些男人是座岛屿 Some men are islands. I'm a bloody island! I'm bloody lbiza!
你说什么? What are you talking about?
你圣诞节过来玩吗? Do you want to come over for Christmas?
我不想圣诞节过去 No, Marcus, I do not want to come over for bloody Christmas.
和麦克斯母亲共度佳节 I do not want to spend Christmas
简直要我自杀 with Miss Granola Suicide and her spawn.
你过圣诞节的方式 I'd always thought what you did with Christmas...
其实也是你生活的方式 was sort of a statement about where you stood in life.
我要照往常的方式过这个圣诞节 I was going to spend this Christmas the way I usually did.
看录影带和喝醉 Watching videos and getting drunk and stoned.
在你在之前,我是孤独的 Before you came, I was all alone.
孤独的感觉不好 It is bad to be alone.
孤独、死亡、朋友 Alone, bad. Friend, good.
朋友,好事情 Friend, good. Now come here.
好消息是,不只马克和他妈妈 The good news was it wasn't just me and Fiona and Marcus.
坏消息是 The bad news was, well....
你是麦克斯的爸爸? So, you're Marcus' dad.
是的 Yeah, I guess so.
这是我的女朋友莉丝 And this is my girlfriend, Lindsey.
莉丝的妈妈 And Lindsey's mum.
你好 Hi there.
谢谢 Thanks, Dad.
不用谢 That's okay.
我必须给他一些 I had to hand it to the kid.
让他惊喜的东西 He could be enthusiastic about some truly crap present.
太好了 Wow, a tambourine!
谢谢妈 Thanks, Mum.
这很酷吧 Isn't that cool, Will?
是啊,很流行的 Yeah, that'll come in handy.
会是个很好的东西 I saw it and I thought, "This'll be perfect."
你可以在音乐会上用它 Maybe you can perform at that school concert.
这样你就可以交到一些朋友 Get a pop group together. Make some friends.
也许吧 Maybe, Mum.
你唱歌时我的心中充满了阳光 When you sing, it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart.
谢谢,妈 Thanks, Mum.
这是我的礼物 This one's from me.
好棒 Brilliant!
这是什么? What is it?
这是一张CD It's a CD, Marcus.
你会喜欢的 By Mystikal. They're cool. You'll like them.
这是什么音乐? And what kind of music is Mystikal?
一种世界性的音乐 It's sort of world music.
摇摆你的屁股 "Shake Ya Ass."
说唱音乐 Slash rap type thing.
摇摆你的屁股 Shake Ya Ass?
但我们没有播放机 I'm afraid we haven't got a CD player.
已经很好了 It's great anyway.
我知道你没有,所以我买了一个给你 I know you haven't got a CD player, so, I got you one of them as well.
你看,妈 Look, Mum.
打开你的礼物 Open yours, Will.
谢谢 All right. Thanks a lot.
麦克斯,这是个玩笑吗? Marcus, is this a joke?
是的 Yeah.
还不坏 It's not bad.
对不起,我迟到了 Hi. Sorry, I'm dead late!
进来吧 No, come on in.
圣诞快乐! 圣诞快乐! -Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas!
好久不见,梅根在哪里? Long time no see. Where's Megan?
在她爸爸那儿,奈特又在哪? At her dad's. Where's Ned? At his mum's for Christmas?
我...也许该走了 No. I should probably go, shouldn't I?
你可以去桑塔唱歌 You could go pose as Santa, try and shag some carol singers.
你不是职业歌手吗? Are you a professional Santa?
没错,我走了,非常感谢 Right. That's it. I'm off. Thank you very much. It was great.
苏西有权表达她的怨气 Suzie has every right to express her anger.
她已经发表完了,我走了 Yes, and she's expressed it. Now I have a right to bugger off.
谢谢! 再见 Thanks a lot. 'Bye.
等等 Wait!
他是我朋友,我邀请他来的 He's my friend. I invited him.
我决定他几时走 I should be able to tell him when to go home.
我没有赶他走,麦克斯 I haven't told Will to go, Marcus.
苏西对他恼火,她也有权生气 Suzie's angry and has every right to be, and she's telling him so.
马克,她是对的 She's right, Marcus.
只不过把小孩带走几个星期 Just leave it, okay? All he did was make up a kid for a couple weeks.
那又怎么样,谁在乎呢? God, that's nothing. So what? Who cares?
小孩子还每天去学校呢 Kids at school do worse than that every day!
问题在于我们已经离校很久了 The point is, Marcus, Will left school a long time ago.
现在不应该再回来了 He should've grown out of making people up by now.
没错 That's for sure.
他有没有小孩只是一个方面 lt's not fair to gang up on him.
他给我买球鞋 He's been better behaved since then.
让我去他家,虽然他并不想我去 He bought me trainers, he lets me go round to his house
他知道孩子需要什么 and he knows what kids need.
昂贵的球鞋和黄色音乐 What? Expensive footwear and obscene music?
你真需要什么的话,我们可以好好谈谈 If there's something you really need then we can talk about it.
这不是一场谈论而是争吵 No, we can't. It's not a discussion, it's an argument,
每次你都赢,你教我说什么? and you always win. Why not just tell me what to do?
我要你为自己着想 I want you to think for yourself!
我是在为自己想,所以我要他留下 I'm thinking for myself! And I want Will to stay!
他并没有做什么坏事 He's not the only one who ever did anything wrong!
记得我们是怎么认识的吗? Remember how we met? Remember why?
那是因为你的命运 Because you-- Because you threw a loaf of bread
比那只死掉的鸭子要好很多 at a duck's head and killed it, basically.
你们在说什么? 跟鸭子有什么关系? Excuse me? What's this about a duck?
我们有烤鸭吃吗? Are we having duck? Delicious!
当然,我们没有烤鸭吃 Of course we were not having duck.
我们吃了牛排和浓汤 Instead we had nut loaf with parsnip gravy.
我有种奇怪的感觉 As I sat there, I had a strange feeling.
我很开心 I was enjoying myself.
我从未度过一个开心的圣诞 I'd never really enjoyed Christmas before.
我妈曾逼我唱圣诞老人的歌 My mother used to make me sing Santa's Super Sleigh.
只是为了讨我父亲欢心 just to get at my dad, I think.
而和马克过的圣诞 But Christmas at Marcus',
让我有种温馨的感觉 I'm ashamed to say it, gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
这种感觉解释了随后发生的事的动机 I held that feeling responsible for the strange events that followed.
马克喜欢上一个女孩 First of all, Marcus got a crush on a girl.
你好 Hello. Piss off.
接着,碰巧的是我也喜欢上了一个 And then, even stranger, so did I.
都是马克的错 It was all Marcus' fault, really...
如果你对一个人打开了心门 ...because once you open your door to one person,
其他人也可以进来了 anyone can come in.
她有趣、迷人又聪明 She was interesting, smart and attractive.
而我必须在五分钟内证明我也是如此 And for about five minutes, I had her convinced that I was, too.
你上过电视 You in television?
我上电视? Am I in television?
没有 No.
我只看电视 I watch television.
在电话前面而不是里面 Right, right. So you're more in front of it than in it.
这是种折磨 It was torture.
五分钟内,我意识到 For five minutes I realized what
如果我是个有趣的人的话 life would be like
生活将变成怎样 if I were, in any way, interesting.
如果我曾做过什么让自己有趣 If I had anything to say for myself, if I did anything.
但是我没有 But I didn't do anything.
30秒后她就察觉到了 And in about 30 seconds she'd know and she'd be gone like a shot.
你是做什么的? So what do you do?
基本上无事可做 I'm sort of taking a bit of time off at the moment.
听起来不错 -Sounds good, yeah. -Yeah.
什么时候的事? Time off from what?
老实说,已经很久了 To be absolutely honest, time off from time off, in fact.
我这人最好笑的是一事无成 The interesting thing about me is I don't actually do anything.
一事无成? You don't do anything?
不做 Actually, no.
任何事都不做? Nothing.
没有 Nope.
你住在哪里? That's.... Now, Rachel, darling.
东区还是西区? East Coast or West Coast rap?
她离我而去 There. She was gone.
我无话可说 There was no more to say.
所有说唱音乐在我看来都是一样的 All rap music sounds exactly the same to me.
告诉你,一个12岁的男孩也这么说 I tell you what. I know a 12-year-old who'd kill you for saying that.
真的? 他这么认为? -Really? So do l, come to that. -Yeah?
你儿子唸哪所学校? Yeah. What's yours called?
我的? Mine?
叫我休好了 He's called Marcus.
我儿子叫亚历 Mine's Ali. Alistair.
这不是一个谎言 And there it was. It wasn't a lie.
百分百的推测 It was 100 percent her assumption.
至少50%吧 Well, 50 percent, at the very least.
我又一次如入仙境 I was in fantasyland again.
但这一次有点不同 But this time it was different.
上一次是好玩,这一次是认真的 SPAT was for fun. This was serious.
一点防备都没有 I acted in self-defense.
我们就这样走到了一块 We arranged to get our lads together.
我们为自己走到一块 Which means we arranged for us to get together.
单身双亲单独在一起 Single parents, alone together.
我有了大麻烦 I was in deep trouble.
只有一个人可以帮我 And there was only one person who could help me out.
你对我说什么? What did you just say to me?
你有骂我是流氓是吧 You heard me, squitty little shitty snot-nosed bastard!
对不起,我在听音乐 Sorry. I was singing along to this song by Mystikal.
饶舌音乐 It's a rap.
你喜欢饶舌音乐? You like rap?
一点点吧 A little.
主要是关于黑人 It's by black people, mostly. They're angry most of the time.
有时也会谈到性 But sometimes they just want to have sex.
你吃药的吗? You taking a piss?
我不吃药 I'm not taking a piss.
对身体不好 I don't even know how to take a piss.
你叫什么? What's your name?
麦克斯 Marcus.
我叫凯莉 I'm Ellie.
很高兴认识你 Hi, Ellie. Nice to meet you.
不用了 Not so fast.
我不喜欢身体接触 I'm not ready for physical contact.
不要再对陌生人唱"摇摆你的屁股"了 And stop telling strangers to shake their ass.
再见,凯莉 Okay, Ellie. See you!
你好 Hello, mate.
听着,我要你帮忙 Listen, I need your help.
为什么你要对那位女士说我是你儿子 Why did you tell this lady I was your son?
我没有说什么, No, I didn't tell her.
是她自己想的 I told you, she just got the wrong end of the stick.
那就直接告诉她好了 So just tell her.
不行 No. Can't do that.
为什么不行? Why not?
她认定这个事实 Just accept the facts, okay?
你是我的儿子 You're my son.
你不好说的话我告诉她好了 I'll tell her, if you like. I don't mind.
你太好心了,可是不行 That's very kind of you, Marcus, but no.
为什么不行? Why not?
看在上帝的份上吧 For Christ's sake!
她是如此可爱善良 She's got a rare disease
如果你告诉她认定的事是假的 and if she believes something that's not right, then hears the truth,
她会死掉的 her brain will boil in her head and she'll die, okay?
不知你说什么 That's a load of shit.
我真的对她有兴趣 I'm really interested in this woman.
你这话什么意思? What do you mean, interested?
为什么对她有兴趣? What's so interesting about her?
马克,听着 Okay, Marcus, here.
和她在一起我很开心 Here's my last scrap of dignity. Enjoy it.
我想约她出去 I want to go out with her. Okay?
我想她做我女朋友 I'd like her to be my girlfriend. There, I said it.
太好了,你怎不早说 Brilliant! Why didn't you just say that?
我不知道 I don't know.
我有点尴尬 I was embarrassed or something,
我刚认识她 'cause this is a bit new for me.
她叫琼 I just met her, her name's Rachel. She's sort of--
我也碰到了凯莉 There's this girl at school. Ellie.
我想她做我女朋友 I kind of want her to be my girlfriend.
我也不肯定 I'm not exactly sure.
我对她很不礼貌 I've been meaning to ask you.
朋友和女朋友之间 What's the difference between
到底有什么区分? a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?
我不知道,你想碰她吗? Well, I don't know. Do you want to touch her?
这很重要吗? Is that so important?
当然,你听说过性是吧?这很重要 Yeah, you've heard about sex, right? It is kind of a big deal.
我不傻 I know. I'm not stupid.
我的感觉很奇特 I just can't believe there's nothing more to it.
我想和她在一起 I mean, like, I want to be with her more.
一直在一起 I want to be with her all the time.
我想对她说对你和妈妈都不说的话 And I want to tell her things I don't even tell you or Mum.
我不想她有其他男朋友 And I don't want her to have another boyfriend.
但我并不一定要碰她 I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.
你会懂的,你不会永远有那种看法 Well, you'll learn, Marcus. You won't feel like that forever.
我看上去怎么样? Okay, how do I look?
不错,那我呢? Good. How do I look?
尽量自然一点 Just be as normal as you can, okay?
麦克斯的建议真不错 Good advice for Marcus.
真希望我照做了 I wish I could have followed it.
我的嘴唇干涩, I'm sorry it's such a mess.
手心开始出汗 My mouth was dry and my palms sweating.
我不知道自己是怎么搞的 I didn't know what the hell was happening to me.
我能做的只是像个傻子似的站在那里 All I could do was stand there, grinning like an idiot.
上楼去吧 Should we just go upstairs?
好啊 Sure.
来吧 Okay.
亚历,这是麦克斯 Ali. Marcus.
麦克斯,这是亚历 Marcus. Ali.
我们在学校见过 You're in my year at school.
是吗?我觉得也是 Really? Yeah, I think I've seen you around.
太好了,你们有得话讲了 Great! Then you guys'll have a lot to talk about.
休,这是亚历 Will, this is Ali.
亚历,这是休 Ali, this is Will.
好的 All right.
找点活动来玩吧 Do you guys want to hang up here for a while?
听起来不错 Yeah, sounds good, right?
好的 Yeah. Okay.
从那刻起,我爱上她了 For a moment, I loved him.
真的爱她 Really loved him.
你可以玩电脑游戏 You can show him your new computer games.
好的 Good.
待会见 Okay, catch you later.
如果你父亲跟我妈妈约会 If your dad goes out with my mum,
你会死的很难看 then you're dead. Really dead.
别担心,他人很好 Don't worry. He's all right.
我不管他怎么样 I don't care if he's all right!
我只关心他不跟我妈妈在一起 I don't want him going out with my mum!
我再也不要见到他和你 I don't want to see him or you around here ever again, okay?
这决定不在于我 I'm not really sure it's up to me.
最好是,你可以解决 Well, it better be!
要不你得死 Or you're going to die.
我开始觉得他不是在开玩笑了 I was getting the feeling that maybe this kid Ali was a serial killer.
你都有什么电脑游戏? Can I have a go on your computer? What games you got?
你有在听我说吗? Are you listening to me?
是的,只是现在我做不到 Yeah, it's just that I can't really do much at the moment, can I?
他是我爸爸 I mean, Will, that's my dad...
他喜欢你妈妈,你妈妈也喜欢他 he likes your mum, and I think she's keen on him.
她不喜欢他,她只喜欢我 She's not keen on him! She's only keen on me!
最不可思议的事是 One amazing thing about Rachel...
每次她谈到有趣的事时 was that I wanted to kiss her
我就忍不住想吻她 every time she said something interesting.
而她讲的东西时刻都很有趣 Which was all the time.
她很性感 It was sexy. It was weird.
我让你厌烦吗? Am I boring you?
不... No, no. No.
怎么了 What?
只是你看上去心不在焉 Nothing. It's just you looked like Marcus just then.
是吗? Did I?
我觉得麦克斯很像你 I think it's sweet how much he seems to take after you...
连穿着也很像 ...and the way he dresses like you, as well.
我觉得不像 I don't think I dress like Marcus, really.
麦克斯? Marcus?
等等 Wait! Hang on. Hang on.
我们得回去 Come on, we're going back.
他神情不正常 He's off his head.
他没有 No, he's not.
他说要把我踩成肉酱 He said he'd cut me up into little pieces.
他有说过吗? He did?
没有,我猜想而已 No. But I'm sure he's capable of it.
这不同,我肯定你会喜欢他,我保证 It'll be different. You'll like it, I promise.
麦克斯,亚历要跟你谈话 Marcus, Ali has something to say to you.
说吧 Doesn't he?
麦克斯,我不是有意那么说的 Sorry, Marcus. I didn't mean to say those things.
没关系,亚历 It's okay, Ali.
这对亚历比较难 Ali finds all this very difficult.
对麦克斯也是一样 Yeah, so does Marcus.
父母离异 You know, I mean, divorced parents
对孩子来说都是很痛苦 and not knowing how to feel about new people.
没错 Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely the way I feel.
他会适应的 Ali didn't get along with the last bloke I went out with.
他是个骗子 -He was a liar! -All right, darling.
他不是100%好消息 He wasn't 100 percent good news.
我并没有告诉他 -I'm not saying that you and I are. -That's okay.
没关系,他已经告诉我了 He fancies you. He told me.
原来如此 Thanks a lot, mate.
你真是甜心 Oh, dear.
凯莉 Ellie!
麦克斯,你在等我吗? -Marcus? What, are you stalking me? -No.
今天气色不错啊 Too bad. Made me feel like a celebrity.
我想告诉你,小心了 All I'm saying is, you know, watch out.
她对你比对宠物 It just looks a bit more like
更像女朋友对男朋友 owner and pet than boyfriend and girlfriend.
我不这么想 At least I'm honest.
什么意思? What does that mean?
你错了 It's just that you and Rachel....
什么意思? What? What does that mean?
我觉得你们之间会有麻烦 I don't know, I think there's a problem with you and Rachel.
你想和她在一起 I mean, like, you want to be with her
可她觉得她有个儿子,而你没有 but she thinks you have a son. And you don't.
如果她要和你在一起, If you're going to be with someone,
你要告诉她 shouldn't you tell them things like that?
不 No.
你知道的,告诉她真相 I mean, you know, like the truth.
当晚我一个人的时候 But later that night, when I was on my own...
我记起麦克斯的话 ...I remembered the deal Marcus was prepared to strike.
没错,我想碰芮秋 Yes, I wanted to touch Rachel.
但现在如果可以选择 But at this moment, if I had the choice...
我会照麦克斯说的去做 ...I'd settle for the less and the more that Marcus wanted.
我都跟麦克斯说了什么 Jesus, was I turning into Marcus?
他会给我买球鞋吗? Would he be buying me shoes soon?
我接受了他的建议 I took his advice
并告诉了芮秋真相 and told Rachel the truth.
我是说,几乎真相 Or very nearly the truth.
我告诉她,我不是麦克斯的生父 That I wasn't Marcus' natural father.
不是 No.
因为如果我告诉她真相的话 The problem was, once I told the truth,
会有很多麻烦 I knew there'd be more questions.
你不是麦克斯的生父 I don't get it. If you're not his natural father...
那你的亲生儿子又在哪儿 ...and you don't live with him, then how is he your son?
我有时候外面也很迷惑 Yeah, I see. It must look very confusing from the outside.
那内心又是怎样的? Tell me how it is on the inside.
说起来又臭又长 It's just one of those long, boring stories.
你想喝点酒吗? Look, do you want to move on to wine?
你喝过中国米酒吗? You want some Chinese rice wine, miss?
如果你想试,我推荐 You would like to try, I suspect,
茅台 the Panang Paneng.
不 No.
告诉我你同亚历的关系 Tell me about your relationship with Ali.
比我和麦克斯的关系还要复杂吗? Is that as complicated as mine and Marcus'?
我和他父亲发生关系,于是生下了他 I slept with his father, and then nine months later I gave birth.
十分直接 Pretty straight forward.
我很妒忌 Yeah. I envy you that.
我知道我很八卦 I'm really sorry to harp on about this
但我还是要说 but I haven't got it all worked out yet.
你是麦克斯的继父 You are Marcus' stepfather,
但你不跟他和他妈妈住 but you don't live with him or with his mother.
不,嗯 No, you see, wait.
我从没说过他是我的儿子 I never said he was my son.
"他是我的儿子" Did I? The words "I have a son called Marcus,"
这句话不是从我嘴里出来的 Never escaped my lips.
但你却相信了 It's what you chose to believe.
是的,我是妄想者 Yeah. Right. It's me that's the fantasist.
我让自己相信你有个儿子 I wanted to believe that you had a son,
是我自己想像力丰富 so I let my imagination run riot.
我也有错 Obviously I played a part, I can see that.
不是 No! Not at all.
我认为你是个不错的人 I met you and I thought, "Cute guy.
他也有个儿子 "God, if only he had a son.
这样他便可以了解我 A geeky, teenage kid, if possible."
于是我便让你们来了我家 Then you turned up at my house with Marcus, and bingo!
我犯了一个疯狂的错误 Now I made this crazy link
因为自己的心理需要 'cause of some deep psychological need in me.
没必要大惊小怪 You shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
人人都如此 It could have happened to anyone.
当我第一次见到你时,我觉得你一无是处 The first time I met you I thought you were a bit blank.
现在我改变主意了 But then you changed my mind.
也许我是对的 Maybe I was right.
后悔了 Rachel, listen.
是的 Yes?
很抱歉 I'm sorry,
真的 you're right.
我一无是处 I am a blank.
一无是处 I'm really nothing.
我不知道我都做了什么 I don't know what the hell I was thinking of,
对不起 I'm sorry.
凯莉,再见 'Bye, Ellie.
再见了,麦克斯 Marcus! My man! Bye, Marcus! See you, Marcus!
妈妈 Mum?
Z等于X乘以2/2.. So, if z = 17, does x 2?
麦克斯 Marcus?
我不知道答案是什么 I didn't know what the answer was.
我不知道X代表什么 I didn't know what "X" Equaled.
我不知道怎样去帮我妈 And I didn't know how to help my mum.
然后我意识到 And then I realized.
她说过我可以帮她一些忙 There was something she said I could do for her.
我在想在学校音乐会见 -I'm thinking of singing at the school concert.
摇滚音乐会 You? At the rock concert?
我真觉得这是个好主意,麦克斯 I don't think that would be a very good idea, Marcus.
你会来帮我吗? Will you accompany me?
当然,只是暂时的 All I've got is a tambourine.
不,对不起 No, I'm sorry.
这是自杀 It's suicide.
我意思是说这不适合你 I mean, they'll crucify you.
妈妈又提了一次 Mum's at it again.
关于什么呢? 对不起 At what? Sorry.
你这么说是什么意思? What do you mean, what?
她在哭 The crying.
她坐在房子里哭 She sits in the house all day, crying.
她早上也这样 She does it in the mornings, too.
她很伤心 It's as bad now as it was
为了这件事 before the Dead Duck Day.
很对不起...我很忙 Marcus, I'm sorry, mate...I'm a bit busy at the moment.
你很忙? You're busy?
忙什么? Doing what?
你听到我说话了吗? Didn't you hear me?
我听到了 I heard you.
我听到你,你要我怎么做? -What do you want me to do about it? -I don't know.
你可以和她谈谈 You could talk to her.
那我该说什么? Yeah? And what would I say?
我不知道 I don't know!
她为什么要听我说,我又不是她什么人 Why would she listen to me? Who am I to her?
我什么人也不是 I'm nobody.
你之前不是这样 You're not nobody. You're--
谁? 那你认为我是谁? -Who? Who do you think I am?
你又算什么人? Who do you think you are?
你不请自来 You come here uninvited,
破坏我的生活,把事情搞糟 you disrupt my life, you screw things up.
你要我怎样,麦克斯? What do you want from me?
这与我无关,我不是你的家人 This isn't my problem. I'm not your family, mate.
我不是你的叔叔或兄弟 I'm not. I'm not your uncle. I'm not your big brother.
我想我们关系很明确 We've established pretty firmly
我不是你的爸爸,不是吗? that I'm not your father, either, am I?
我告诉你我是谁 I'll tell you what I am.
我是一个擅于选择教练 I'm the guy who's really good at choosing trainers
或唱片的人,好吗? or records, okay?
我帮不了你这些小事情 That's it. I can't help you with real things.
我帮不了你这些无意义的事 I can't help you with anything that means anything.
你可以试一下 You could try.
你是对的,你帮不了我 You're right. You can't help me.
你怎么帮得了呢? How could you?
你是一天到晚看电视无所事事的人 You're a stupid person who watches TV all day and buys things.
你不把别人当一回事 You don't give a shit about anybody,
也没人把你当一回事 and nobody gives a shit about you!
妈妈说过这番话 Mum said my singing
它为我们带来阳光和幸福 brought sunshine and happiness into her life.
所以我这么做了 So I'd do it,
尽管这并不很光彩 even if it meant mine was over.
妈妈,看! Look, Mum.
我的生活由时间单位组成 My life is made up of units of time.
买CD...两个单位 Buying CDs: Two units.
吃午饭...三个单位 Eating lunch: Three units.
锻练...两个单位 Exercising: Two units.
我有很充实的生活 All in all, I had a very full life.
只是这...这没有任何意义 It's just that it didn't mean anything.
事实上,只有一件事对我来说有意义 The fact was there was only one thing that meant something to me:
麦克斯 Marcus.
他是唯一有意义的人 He was the only thing that meant something to me.
而弗安娜对他来说最有意义 And Fiona was the only thing that meant something to him.
而她很痛苦 And she was about to fall off the edge.
单身母亲一起学习... Single parents alone together!
我为人人,人人为我 All for one and one for all!
弗安娜 Fiona!
华修 Will,
有一阵子没见了 we haven't seen you for a while.
奈特怎么样? How's Ned?
谁? Who?
他退出了 He's a load of crap.
他不存在 He doesn't exist.
我编出来的 Yeah, I made him up.
你编出来的? You made him up?
对,方便见女人 Yeah. To meet women.
你真恶心 You're sick.
对 Yeah.
弗安娜,我要和你谈谈 Fiona, I've got to talk to you.
说吧 Go ahead.
不,最好单独谈 No, you know, properly talk to you, privately.
不,这个圈子不须瞒人 No, this is a circle of truth.
你要说什么都可以在大家面前说 Whatever you have to say, you can say it in front of everybody.
好吧 Okay.
请别再试着去自杀 Please don't try and commit suicide again.
真不敢相信,你竟然那么说了 I can't believe you just said that.
这是我的私人经历 That is my private experience.
这正是问题所在,这不光是你的 Yeah, well, that's the thing, isn't it? It's not.
麦克斯很担心你 Marcus is worried about you.
而我担心麦克斯,因为他担心你 I'm worried because he's worried about you.
我不会自杀的 Will, I don't have plans to commit suicide.
你不会吗? You don't?
现在不会 Not at the moment, no.
好的 Great. Great!
太好了 Good.
我对你没有吸引力吧? You know I'm not attracted to you, right?
你担心什么? What are you on about?
你是疯了不成? No. What are you, nuts?
我用词不当 Right. Wrong word completely.
但我们确实该谈一下 But that's something that we should, you know, talk about a bit.
你早上哭泣的事 The crying in the morning thing, the depression.
这样并不好 Let's get that fixed.
这是重要问题,对吗? That's what men think, isn't it?
什么? What?
让你得到答案 That unless you've got the answer,
至少你可以说 unless you can say:
我可以安慰这颗破碎的心 "I know a bloke in the Essex Road who can fix that,"
你就不用麻烦了 Then there's no point bothering.
不 No.
好吧 Well, yeah, okay. I would.
我会嘲笑这种说法 I'd love to know the name of the bloke in the Essex Road...
因我感觉自己一点用处也没有 because I've got a feeling I'd be useless.
你不是一无是处 Will, you're not useless.
你在这里 You're here.
这很重要 And that matters.
好的 Right.
我们可以... Now, can we.... Do you mind?
什么? What?
麦克斯要在学校音乐会上唱歌 Marcus is singing at the school concert.
他要去唱吗? Marcus is singing?
对,唱歌 Yeah, singing.
在学校吗? 对 At school?
流行音乐会,他很兴奋 It's a pop concert. He's so excited.
等一下 Wait, wait.
他要唱什么? What's he singing?
好的,现在什么时候了 What time does this thing start?
你为什么不要他去唱? What have you got against Marcus singing?
你知道那种梦境吗? You know the dream
你没穿裤子去上学,大家都在笑你 where you're at school without your trousers on and everyone laughs?
这有什么关系? What's the connection?
这将会发生在麦克斯身上 That will be Marcus, but for real.
真的,如果他在孩子面前唱那首歌 If he sings that song in front of those kids...
你会让他在上大学之前抬不起头 you can just write him off until university.
如果他上的了大学的话 If he reaches university,
因为这会让他丢尽脸 'cause he's going to get torn to shreds.
不,你不能阻止别人去干让自己开心的事 You cannot stop someone from expressing themselves.
他不是为了让自己开心 He's not expressing himself!
他是为了让你开心 He's expressing you, okay?
老天 Oh, God.
什么? What?
老天爷 Jesus Christ.
我不是个好妈妈 You're right. Will, am I a bad mother?
不,你不是个坏妈妈 No, you're not a bad mother.
只是有点糊涂 You're just a barking lunatic.
我是个坏妈妈 No, I am. I am a bad mother.
我把事情弄糟 I've let things slide
我从未正确思考过 and I haven't been noticing properly.
他是个非常特别的孩子 He's a special, very special boy.
他有特别的心灵,而我伤害了他 And he's got a special soul, and I've wounded it!
请不要再说了,你也伤害了我的心灵 Please, just shut up. You're wounding my soul.
好的,你来泊车 Okay, you park it. What?
戴克,你来这儿干什么? Hi. What are you doing here?
亚历在台上 That's Ali up there.
亚历很有天份 He's talented.
刚刚是罪罚乐队的演出 Now that was the Def Penalty Kru with Murder Fo' Life.
下面请出麦克斯布鲁 Our next big act is Marcus Brewer...
演唱轻柔的歌曲 ...singing Roberta Flack's beloved Killing Me Softly.
"让我温柔地死去" That killing softly.
由西蒙帕斯放唱片伴奏 He'll be accompanied by Simon Cosgrove on the recorder.
麦克斯,我不能这么做 Marcus, I can't do this.
这首歌太糟糕 That lot's going to shit all over us.
你说什么? But you said....
很对不起,五元还你,我退出 I'm sorry. Here's your 5 back.
多等一下 Any moment now.
快点,麦克斯 Come on, Marcus, you wally!
等一下 Wait! Wait!
对不起,这是怎么回事? Excuse me. What is going on here?
一切事情都在控制中 Nothing. Everything's under control.
我是他的声乐教练 I'm just his voice coach.
你来干什么? What are you doing here?
我听说了你的事 I heard you were about to commit social suicide,
我只是路过 so I dropped by.
我的伴奏已走掉了 My accompanist left!
这不要紧,你一样来 Brilliant. You don't have to do it.
我办不到 I can't do that.
不,你办的到 Yeah, you can.
告诉他们艺术是不同的东西 Just tell them: Artistic differences.
没有他们你一样可以办到,这很简单 You can't work without him. He had a drug problem.
我妈妈想让我唱 My mum wants me to sing it.
我要让他开心 It'll make her happy.
听着 Look, mate,
你做不了什么让你妈妈开心 nothing you do can make your mum happy, all right?
我是说维持不了多久 Not in the long term.
你为自己而做这事 She has to do that for herself.
你马上出来 Get over here right now!
等一下,老头 Just bugger off, will you!
我是说重要的是 What I'm saying is, the important thing is
让你自己开心 to make yourself feel happy.
我试着让自己开心 I've tried just making myself happy.
她试着让自己开心 She's tried making herself happy.
但这没有用 It doesn't work.
只有其他人可以让她开心 You need other people to make you happy.
正是,其他人可以让你开心 But that's just it. If other people can make
他们也让你不开心 you happy then they can also make you unhappy.
你认为在外面的人会让你开心吗? What, you think those people out there are going to make you happy?
等一下 Hang on. Wait.
别紧张,勇敢点 Come on, Britney!
出点声音 Yeah, give us a song, then.
这是为我妈妈唱的 This is for my mum.
你在唱垃圾歌 You're rubbish, mate!
这是怎么回事? Who the hell is that?
来点劲的 Give it a rest.
我们唱完了 We're finished.
走吧 Will, come on.
我们演完了 Will, we're finished.
这就是我 So there I was,
在用我的歌让他们温柔地死去 killing them softly with my song.
或者让自己死去,并不轻柔地 Or rather, being killed. And not that softly, either.
我在闭着眼睛唱歌 I was singing with my eyes closed.
我害怕吗? Was I frightened?
我有一点放纵 I was petrified.
这绝对不是我一贯生活方式 This was definitely not island living.
谢谢大家 Thank you, Finsbury.
你会记得这个乐队吗? I'd like to introduce one or two members of the band.
麦克斯布鲁和我 Marcus Brewer on vocals and tambourine. And that's about it.
下去吧!下去 Let's get off quick. Get off.
麦克斯,谢谢你唱这首歌 Marcus, thank you. For the song.
你真棒 You were terrific.
你这么认为吗? 对 -You think so? -Yeah.
事实上,我认为我们该庆祝一下 As a matter of fact, I think we should celebrate.
好的 Okay.
麦当劳怎么样? How about McDonald's?
麦当劳吗? 对 -McDonald's? -Yeah.
谢谢了,这不要紧 Thanks, Mum, but it's okay.
我真的想去吃麦当劳 No, really. I want to go to McDonald's.
我还不太饿 You know, I'm not really hungry.
你说过你能吃下一个大麦克鸡块 Come on. Are you telling me you couldn't murder a Big Mac?
好吧!下次吧 Okay, another time.
什么时候都行 Any time.
你才最要紧,知道吗? I'll be around a while, you know.
接下来的圣诞节一切回复正常 By the following Christmas things were back to normal.
每个男人是一座岛 Every man is an island.
我是支持这种说法 And I stand by that.
但一些人是岛的改变中的一部份 But clearly, some men are part of island chains.
在海洋表面下,海洋实际是相连的 Below the surface of the ocean they're actually connected.
你什么时候去见我妈? So you're going to marry my mum, then?
不知道 Don't know.
为什么去? Why?
她要干什么? You think she's up for it?
我以前也担心我妈妈 I used to want him to marry my mum.
我说真的 You serious?
她那时很绝望 Yeah. But that was when she was depressed and I was desperate.
谢谢你们关心 Thanks, mate. Cheers.
怎么用这玩意? How do you use this blender-thing?
不要用它 You don't.
我以前以为两个人不够 I used to think two wasn't enough. Christ.
另一个人会卷进来 Now there were loads of people.
这样不错 And that was great.
就大部份而言 Mostly.
你们这些懒老板可以工作了吗? Are you two lazy bastards gonna get up and help, or what?
你怎么认识华修的? So how do you know Will?
几年前我们一起志愿参加国际支援 We volunteered together at Amnesty International a couple years ago.
对,那时情况不坏 Yeah, that's right. How is the Burmese situation, Tom? Better?
我是说...很好 I mean good?
对,所以他打电话让我来参加圣诞午餐 Yeah, and he called me up out of the blue for Christmas lunch.
我就来了 So, here I am.
真的吗? Really?
你和凯莉达成协议了吗? So, listen, what's the deal with you and Ellie now?
她是你女朋友了吗? Is she your girlfriend?
你开玩笑 Are you insane?
你不想试试我们吗? Where did you get those trainers?
怎么回事? Why? What's wrong with them?
没事 Nothing.
顺便说一下 By the way,
我真认为你的表演不错 I do think you and Rachel have a shot.
如果不是太搞笑的话 I mean, if you don't screw it up.
谢谢 Thank you.
我创造了一个恶魔 I'd created a monster.
也许是他创造了我 Or maybe he created me.
这是我们过去为之如此伤心的事 I don't know what Will was so upset about.
这男人是谁? All I meant was
我想不久后他们会成为一对 I don't think couples are the future.
他不只是个好丈夫 You need more than that.
他有支持者 You need backup.
我选择的方法让我也有了后援 The way I saw it, Will and I both had backup now.
我想他告诉过我詹邦乔飞说过的话 It's like that thing he told me Jon Bon Jovi said:
没有一个男人是座岛 "No man is an island."
～ 剧 终 ～