女士們 先生們 Ladies and gentlemen,
現在請允許我向大家介紹一位 I would now like to introduce
我們業內的傳奇 a legend in our industry.
她是我們廣播網歷史上 She's the most successful president
最成功的董事長 in the history of our network
在過去的五年裏 and for the past five years
讓我們保持著最高的收視率 has kept us at the very top of the ratings.
她是我們的超級王牌 我們的萬能牌 She's our Maverick, our wild card,
今天 她將帶領我們大開眼界 and today she's gonna take us right to the edge.
掌聲歡迎我們偉大的天才 Please welcome a giant, a genius
電視行業中最努力的人 瓊安娜·埃伯哈特 and the hardest-working person in television: Joanna eberhart.
加油 瓊安娜 Way to go, Joanna!
謝謝你們 謝謝 Thank you all so much. Thank you.
瓊安娜 Joanna!
這感覺真好 That feels good,
特別是這些掌聲是來自全國各地的你們 especially coming from such a fantastic group of people
一群不可思議的人們 from all across our great nation,
我們廣播網的會員們 our network affiliates.
給你們自己鼓掌吧 Give yourselves a great big hand.
你們應得的 You deserve it.
還有我想要 And I want
一份又大又豐厚的聖誕紅利 a big, fat Christmas bonus.
只是開玩笑 但也不儘然 因為... Just kidding, but not really because...
對於接下來我要向你們展示的東西 I am so excited, I am so on fire,
我非常的興奮 激動 I am so guts-and-glory passionate
又充滿熱情 about what I am about to show you.
所以準備好 因為在週一晚 So get ready because on Monday nights
全世界都將會觀看著兩名男女和一個蜂鳴器 the whole world will be watching a man, a woman and a buzzer!
你們準備好最後的性別挑戰了嗎 Are you ready for the final gender challenge?
誰賺的錢更多 Who makes more money?
我 I do.
誰每年都參加鐵人三項賽並勝出 Who enters ironman triathlons every year and wins?
我 I do.
誰偷偷希望自己能和一個性感的女同性戀結婚 Who secretly wishes they were married to a hot, sexy lesbian?
- 我 - 我 - I do! - I do!
塔拉勝出 It's Tara!
還有... And...
在週四... ...on Thursdays...
不 這不僅僅是一檔電視節目 No, this is not just a TV show.
這是一次突破 No, this is a breakthrough,
一次爆發 突破了所有的規則 a breakout, a break-all-the-rules
絕對能直沖艾美獎的嘗試 and bring-on-the-emmys mega-smash!
是的 Yes!
請允許我向你們 Can I present to you
推薦這顆星球上的終極現實現象 this planet's ultimate reality phenomenon?
我能做得更好 I can do better!
我們將挑選婚姻幸福的夫妻 We will all be right there as happily-married couples
乘坐頭等艙飛往一處熱帶天堂島 are flown first class to a tropical island paradise
在那裏 他們將被專業的三陪 where they will be completely surrounded
完全包圍 by professional prostitutes.
一周過後... And at the end of the week...
讓我們來看一看 Well, let's take a peek.
已經過去一周了 Well, it's been a week,
漢克 我們來自奧馬哈市的人事經理 and Hank, our personnel manager from Omaha,
與瓦內薩一起度過了整整七天的時間 has spent the entire seven days with Vanessa,
我們的應召女郎 也是脫衣舞娘 our call girl and exotic dancer.
是的 確實很讓人難以置信 Yeah, it's been amazing.
不得不承認我們在熱水浴缸 And I'll admit we've had some fun
玩得很開心 in the hot tub and all.
但是比利 你知道嗎 But you wanna know something, Billy?
我們就只是聊聊天而已... All we did was talk...
因為我愛我的妻子... Because I love my wife...
我唯一想去的地方就是 And the only place I want to be
和我的芭芭拉 is back in Omaha
回到奧馬哈市 with my Barbara.
瓦內薩 真不幸 Tough break, nessa.
芭芭拉 你和洛基共度了週一 And Barbara, you spent Monday with rocky,
我們的健美運動者兼男妓 our bodybuilder and male escort,
週二到週四 你是和成人電影《懸案陪審團》 Tuesday through Thursday with the entire cast
整個劇組一起度過的 of the xxx film hung jury,
然後和托吉洛一起度過了整個週末 and you spent the entire weekend with tonkiro.
現在到了做 And now it's time
最後決定的時刻了 for the final decision.
芭芭拉 你來決定 Barbara, it's yours to make.
是選擇回奧馬哈市 Is it gonna be Omaha?
還是選擇他們 Or "Oma-hunks"?
呃... Well...
在參加這檔節目之前 我只和一個男人發生過關係 Before I came on this show I only had sex with one man,
那就是漢克 and that was usually Hank.
我深深地愛著漢克 全心全意直到永遠 I love Hank deeply and forever with all my heart,
我永遠都不會傷害他的 and I would never do anything to hurt him.
但我能做得更好 But I can do better!
兩性之間的鬥爭 如同古老的時光... The battle of the sexes, as old as time but as...
為什麼 why?
呃... Uh...
什麼 Excuse me?
你為什麼要這樣做 Why did you do it?
天啊 是《我能做得更好》裏的漢克 Oh, my god, it's Hank from I can do better.
各位 這是漢克 Hank, everyone.
不 停下 No, stop it.
我愛芭芭拉 我曾經擁有家庭 擁有生活 I love Barbara. I had a family. I had a life.
漢克 Hank,
我知道這很痛苦 I know it hurts.
愛情並不容易 Love isn't easy.
情感關係並不容易 對所有人都是如此 Relationships aren't easy, not for anyone.
但是現在你知道芭芭拉的真實想法 But now you know the truth about Barbara,
你要繼續前進 繼續生活 and you are gonna move on with your life.
你會遇到一個好姑娘的 And you're gonna meet someone wonderful,
美國會愛你的 and America is gonna love you.
好吧 我對下一熱檔節目有個好想法 Yeah. I've got a great idea for another hot new show.
很好 和我們說說 Well, tell it to us.
就叫... It's called...
讓每一個女人都去死 Let's kill all the women.
他有槍 He's got a gun!
噢 Oh!
- 瓊安娜 你還好嗎 - 我很好 - Joanna, are you all right? - I am great.
隨時出發 那些員警太聳人聽聞了 Raring to go. The police were sensational.
我毫髮無損 And not a scratch.
- 你還沒聽說嗎 - 聽說什麼 - You haven't heard? - About what?
那個男人 漢克 That man, Hank.
就在他試圖殺你之前 Right before he tried to kill you,
跑去找了他的前妻還有她那五個新男友 he went to see his ex-wife and five of her new boyfriends.
- 是嗎 - 他開槍射擊了所有人 - He did? - He shot all of them.
那位元妻子現在情況仍然危殆 The wife is in critical condition,
另外四個男的要靠生命維持機 and four of the guys are on life support.
- 托吉洛呢 - 他沒事 - Tonkiro? - He's fine.
- 謝天謝地 - 所以你知道這意味著什麼 - Thank god. - So you know what this means.
當然 Of course.
我們全額負責他們的醫療費用 每一分錢 We pay for all of their medical treatment, every penny.
給他們請最好的理療師 We get them the very best therapist,
保姆 康復師 childcare, rehab,
無論他們需要什麼 whatever they need,
然後讓他們乘坐頭等艙到紐約 and then we fly them to New York, first class,
在黃金時段做一檔特別節目 for a prime-time special,
《漢克與芭芭拉:讓治癒開始吧》 Hank and Barbara: Let the healing begin.
你根本沒在聽 You're not listening.
我們無法承受這事 We can't wear this.
光是法律控訴就可能會搞垮整個廣播網 The lawsuits alone may bankrupt the network.
你的所有新節目 整套電視排表 And all your new shows, the whole lineup,
都不會有人看 the affiliates won't touch them.
我們得對股東負責 We have shareholders.
不能讓你搞垮廣播網 We can't let you sink the network.
但我們祝你好運 But we wish you only the best.
當然 Of course.
謝謝你如此通情達理 把這件事處理得這麼好 Thank you for being so classy and taking this so well.
瓊安娜 我們只想說這對你太不公平了 Joanna, we just wanted to say that this is so not fair.
各位 再見 Goodbye, everybody!
祝萬事如意 All the best!
- 喬 - 嗯 - Jo? - Mm.
啊 沃爾特 Ah, Walter.
發生了什麼事 What happened?
你整個人都精神崩潰了 Well, you've had a complete nervous collapse.
啊... Ah...
醫生說這需要花點功夫康復 And the doctors say there's a lot of work to do,
但你會沒事的 but you're gonna be just fine.
還有 皮特給你畫了這個 Oh, and Pete made this for you.
- 噢 真是太貼心了 - 對吧 - Oh, that's so sweet. - Isn't it?
而且我想告訴你 And I wanted you to know
在聽到消息的那一刻 that the minute I heard the news,
我就立馬打電話去公司辭職了 I called the network and I quit.
- 你是為了我才這麼做的嗎 - 當然 - You did that for me? - Of course.
我知道我只是個副董事長 I know I was only a vice president,
但在他們那樣對待你之後 but I could never work for those people,
我絕對不能再為那些人工作了 not after the way they treated you.
噢 沃爾特... Oh, Walter...
你知道今天是什麼日子嗎 And do you remember what today is?
今天是我們的結婚紀念日 It's our anniversary.
噢 沃爾特... Oh, Walter...
對不起 ...I'm so sorry.
也許那個想殺我的男人 Maybe that man who tried to shoot me,
他是對的 maybe he was right.
也許我成為了那種邪惡的女人 Maybe I've become the wrong kind of woman.
也許我的所有決定都是錯誤的 Maybe I've made all of the wrong decisions.
我們能不能忘掉過去 重新開始 Could we get away and start over?
讓我們的婚姻重新回到正軌 And get it right, our marriage?
- 我們為什麼要搬家 - 搬到康乃迪克州 - But why are we moving? - To Connecticut?
那樣我們才能好好休整 We're moving so that we can all kick back
然後在這個美麗的小鎮重新開始生活啊 and have a great new life in this beautiful new town.
- 名字 - 克萊斯比 - Name? - Kresby.
- 歡迎來到斯塔福小鎮 - 謝謝 - Welcome to Stepford. - Thanks.
大夥 你們覺得如何 What do you think, guys?
酷 Cool.
- 很好 - 親愛的 - Good. - Honey?
你們好 我是威靈頓夫人 Hello, everyone. I'm Mrs. Wellington.
歡迎來到斯塔福小鎮 Welcome to Stepford.
我是斯塔福地產的工作人員 我們在電話裏已經交談過了 I'm with Stepford realty. We spoke on the phone.
你肯定就是沃爾特了 很高興見到你 You must be Walter. So nice to meet you in person.
還有小鬼們 And the little ones.
我猜你就是皮特了 I bet you're Pete.
- 沒錯 - 皮特 - Duh. - Pete!
他和他的爸爸一樣帥氣 And he's every bit as handsome as his dad.
謝謝 Thank you.
這位肯定是金柏莉 你這個可愛的小蟲耳朵 And Kimberly, aren't you just the cutest little bug's ear.
蟲子才沒有耳朵 Bugs don't have ears.
她可是既活潑 又有一點小悲傷呢 Isn't she sassy, and a little sad.
這位一定就是瓊安娜了 And this must be Joanna.
- 接受電擊療法了嗎 - 不過她很好 - Electroshock? - But she's doing great.
你好 小小增能器 Hello, little energizer.
沃爾特打電話來的時候 The minute Walter called,
我就知道這套屋子肯定非常適合你們 I knew this was the perfect house for you.
這是斯塔福地產在這裏最優秀的出品 It's the top of the line here at Stepford estates,
配套了美國家庭 and it's got everything
所需的一切 an American family could ever need.
請允許我向您們隆重介紹... And may I present to you...
- 看看這裏 - 太棒了 - Look at this. - This is amazing.
這套大師級房子 ...the great room.
我把它稱為舒適 I call it cozy.
而且屋內配套全智慧系統 And it's also a smart house.
這裏是控制安全系統的 Now, this controls the security system.
一切安全 All secure.
它還會與冰箱進行對話 It talks to the refrigerator.
我們需要果汁 我們需要果汁 我們需要果汁 We need juice, we need juice, we need juice.
這個系統還會監控所有衛生設施 The system also monitors all the commodes.
它會自行檢測您尿液中的 Where it will test your urine
血糖 蛋白質以及體脂肪 for blood sugar, protein and body fat.
馬桶沖水 Flush toilets.
孩子們 是不是很棒 Isn't that great, kids?
我要去看看我的房間 I'm gonna go check my room.
我也是 Me too.
沃爾特 你需要經常往來工作嗎 Now, Walter, will you be commuting?
不用 No.
不用 瓊安娜和我都辭去了廣播網的工作 Uh, no, Joanna and I both left the network.
噢 看 是你們的小狗 Oh, look, it's the puppy.
漫遊者3000號 Robo rover 3000.
過來 寶貝 快過來 過來 Come on, boy. Come on, come on, come on.
瓊安娜 Joanna.
這個小鎮已經有超過兩百年的歷史了 The town is over 200 years old.
由喬治·華盛頓所建造 It was founded by George Washington,
瑪莎非常喜歡這裏 and Martha just loved it.
斯塔福小鎮是康乃迪克州的家庭天堂 Stepford is Connecticut's family paradise.
這裏沒有犯罪 It has no crime,
沒有平窮 沒有擁擠 no poverty and no pushing.
那是什麼 在山上面的 What is that? Up on the hill?
那是斯塔福男士休閒會所 Well, that's our Stepford men's association.
讓我們優秀的男人們可以聚在一起 Where all our wonderful guys can get together
休閒娛樂 and stay out of our hair.
我說得對嗎 Am I right?
那女人都去哪里 Where do the women go?
去斯塔福日間水療中心 To the simply Stepford day spa.
早上好 女士們 Good morning, ladies.
早上好 克雷爾 Good morning, Claire.
大家一起來歡迎我們的 I would like you all to welcome
斯塔福小鎮的新居民 瓊安娜 our newest citizen to Stepford: Joanna.
早上好 瓊安娜 Good morning, Joanna.
我們準備好了嗎 Are we ready to work out?
噢 準備好了 Oh, yes.
請站好位置 Places and poles, please.
等等 你們穿成這樣鍛煉 Wait, you work out dressed like this?
當然了 Well, of course.
無論我們做什麼 都要以最好的樣子 Whatever we do, we always want to look our very best.
試想一下我們的丈夫們看到我們 I mean, why, imagine if our husbands saw us
穿著又破又舊的黑色汗衫 in worn, dark, urban sweat clothes
頂著一頭黏糊的頭髮 素面朝天的樣子 with stringy hair and almost no makeup?
噢 天啊 Oh, good heavens!
現在 Now,
今天你將會受到特殊優待 today you are in for a special treat
因為我們正在練習一套運動操 because we are working on a series of exercises,
是我以簡單的家務活親自創作的 which I've personally invented, based on simple household tasks.
我把它稱之為克雷爾操 I call my program clairobics.
因為她的名字叫克雷爾 Because her name is Claire.
好了 到我們瘦身運動的時間了 All right, now it's time to slim and scrub.
讓我們變身為洗衣機 來... Let's all be washing machines. And...
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 Chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga.
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
繼續 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 And chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga.
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 Chugga-chugga- chugga-chugga.
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga.
瓊安娜 一起來 Come on, Joanna.
甩啊 甩啊 甩啊 甩啊... Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga...
女士們 轉圈 抬手 Spin cycle, ladies, and whoosh!
抬手 And whoosh!
真棒 Sweet.
很好 很好 誰是厲害的人 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Who's the man?
你最厲害 You the man.
謝謝 親愛的 Thank you, dear.
- 沃爾特嗎 - 嘿 你好嗎 - Walter? - Hey, how are ya?
- 嘿 你好嗎 - 我是沃爾特·克萊斯比 - Hey, how you doing? - Walter kresby.
- 很高興見到你 - 我是泰德·范·桑特 - Good to see you. - Ted Van sant.
我是斯坦·皮特斯 快進來 I'm Stan Peters. Come on in, come on in.
- 麥克說了你會來 - 很高興見到你 - Mike said you were coming. - Nice to see you.
快進來吧 Come on in.
請注意 請注意 Hear ye, hear ye.
大家一起來 獨立紀念日快樂 Come one, come all, and happy fourth of July.
一點三十分會有孩子們的星條旗 1:30 will be the children's stars and stripes,
以及臉部彩繪活動... face painting...
是不是很棒 Isn't this great?
真正的老式小鎮野餐活動 A real old-fashioned town picnic.
曼哈頓可不會有這樣的活動 Can't get this in Manhattan.
所以我們只會待十分鐘的時間 Which is why we're gonna stay exactly ten minutes.
就露個臉 We're gonna make an appearance,
然後我們就走吧 and then we're gonna get out of here.
孩子們 真的很抱歉 Kids, I'm really sorry about all of this,
但讓我們嘗試著玩得開心吧 but let's try and have fun, hm?
媽媽 這可是野餐活動 Mom, it's a picnic.
真掃興 Chill.
去吧 去吧 去玩吧 Go ahead, go ahead, have fun.
十分鐘 Ten minutes?
沃爾特 你還沒明白 Walter, you just don't get it.
這些女人會像 These women are like
瘋狂的空姐一樣友好 deranged-flight-attendant friendly.
- 她們會把我團團圍住 - 瓊安娜 - They're gonna be all over me. - Joanna!
看吧 Here we go.
- 噢 瓊安娜 - 你好 瓊安娜 - Oh, Joanna. - Hello, Joanna.
嗨 瓊安娜 Joanna, hi.
嗨 沃爾特 Hi, Walter.
你們好 Hi.
- 你看起來真棒 - 我喜歡你穿卡其褲的樣子 - You look great. - I love you in khakis.
新買的 稍微嘗一下鮮 They're new, a little experiment.
現在我知道它為什麼叫香蕉共和國了 Now I know why they call it banana Republic.
不好意思 抱歉 Excuse me. Excuse me!
女士們 借過一下 Excuse me, ladies.
嘿 不好意思 Hey! Excuse me.
抱歉 借過 Excuse me. Excuse me
借過 excuse me.
我是在場唯一一個 Am I the only one who finds all of this
感覺非常不安的人嗎 more than a little disturbing?
我們是在慶祝國慶 We are celebrating our nation's birthday,
但卻沒有一個非裔美國人到場 but there are almost no African Americans,
沒有美洲印第安人 也沒有亞裔美國人 no native Americans, no Asian Americans,
還有... 噢 天啊 and... oh, my god.
你是瓊安娜·埃伯哈特 Hey, you're Joanna eberhart.
- 是的 - 他們對你實在是太不公平了 - Yes. - You got such a raw deal.
- 你是博比·馬科維茨嗎 - 是的 - Aren't you Bobbie markowitz? - Yes.
我超喜歡你的書 特別是最近的一本 I love your books, especially the last one.
叫什麼名來著 What was it called?
講述關於你和你母親的關係的 It was about your relationship with your mother.
- 《我愛你 但拜託你死去吧》 - 嘿 寶貝 - I love you, but please die. - Hey, baby. Baby.
看看我畫的 快看 Look what I did, look.
國慶日快樂 Happy fourth of July, everybody.
不好意思 這個人是不是讓你覺得很煩 Excuse me. Is this guy bothering you?
是的 他是我的丈夫 Yes, he's my husband.
嘿 兄弟 Hey kresbo-man.
- 嘿 戴夫 - 你們怎麼會認識對方 - Hey, Dave. - How do you know each other?
- 男士休閒會所 - 那個地方啊 - Men's association. - That place.
- 你洗完衣服了嗎 - 沒有 我剛寫完一章書 - Did you finish the laundry? - No, I finished a chapter.
- 你做三明治了嗎 - 你做了嗎 - Did you make the sandwiches? - Did you?
- 孩子們在哪 - 什麼孩子 - Where are the kids? - What kids?
- 我們的孩子 - 嘿 你們還好嗎 - Our kids. - Hey, are you two okay?
我們好得很 We're fine.
走吧 我想去吃塊曲奇餅 Come on, I need a cookie.
知道我什麼意思了嗎 See what I mean?
傑裏 傑裏 這裏簡直就是糕點促銷會 Jerry... Jerry, it's a bake sale,
一個真正的糕點促銷會 an actual bake sale.
就像是史密森尼博物館裏的 It's like some sort of heavenly diorama
主婦版的天國立體透視畫 at the Smithsonian in the hall of homemakers.
噢 不 住手 住手 住手 Oh, no. No, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
- 那可不是脆皮水果餡餅 - 羅傑 我們能不能... - That is not cobbler. - Roger, could we...?
我們能不能再進去點 差不多一兩百碼那樣子 Could we reel it in, like, a couple of hundred yards?
你們是怎麼保持身材的 How do you ladies keep your figures?
是不是哪里有個超大容量的餡餅嘔吐桶 Is there just a huge vat of cobbler vomit somewhere?
- 但值得一試的 - 羅傑 - But worth it? - Roger.
噢 抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry.
- 那是... - 真是太好吃了 - That is... - This is fabulous.
傑裏覺得我什麼事都過於誇張了 Jerry thinks that I overdo, you know, everything.
抱歉 Excuse me,
請問你是羅傑·班尼斯特嗎 um, aren't you Roger bannister?
《泰晤士報》上的那個超強建築師 The amazing architect from the times?
噢 謝謝 這位是傑裏·哈蒙 Oh, thank you. This is Jerry harmon.
- 你好 - 我是企業律師 - Hi. - Corporate attorney.
但是他正在尋求我的幫助 所以... But he's getting the help that he needs so...
- 你夠了 - 你才夠了 - stop it. - You stop it.
- 我們是新來的 - 天啊 你是瓊安娜·埃伯哈特 - We're new. - Oh, my god, Joanna eberhart.
- 我喜歡你的電視節目 - 謝謝 - I love the shows. - Oh, thank you.
還有博比·馬科維茨 And Bobbie markowitz.
我超愛你寫的書 Love the books.
傑裏 怎麼會這樣呢 你們是從哪來的 Jerry, how did this happen? Where did you come from?
我是說 竟然都在斯塔福小鎮 I mean, right here in Stepford.
有緣人啊 People.
請注意 請注意 獨立日表演家們 Attention, attention, fourth of July funsters,
拉上你的伴侶 因為到了 grab your partners because it's time
跳起斯塔福方塊舞步的時候了 快來吧 for some sizzling Stepford square dancing, so come on in.
- 什麼方塊舞 - 女牛仔嗎 - Square dancing? - Cowgirls?
- 我們死定了 - 是的 - We're in hell. Yee-haw.
博比 我們走吧 Come on, Bobbie.
您好 Howdy.
很好 大家準備好盡情歡樂一番 Okay, everybody ready to kick up your heels
抬起你的雙腳 跳起斯塔福方塊舞步了嗎 for some barn-busting Stepford high-stepping?
很好 Okay.
鞠躬 Bow.
Oh. Bow.
There you go.
- 衣服不錯 斯坦 - 謝謝 - Nice shirt, Stan. - Thanks.
好啊 歡呼 好啊 歡呼 Yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay,
好啊 歡呼 yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay,
- 好啊 歡呼 - 親愛的 - yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay... - Honey.
- 好啊 歡呼 - 寶貝 冷靜 - ...yippee-ki-yay, yippee-ki-yay. - Now, calm down, baby.
背對背 背對背 背對背 Do-si-do, do-si-do, do-si-do, do-si-do...
背對背 背對背 Do-si-do, do-si-do...
- 退後 夥計 - 背對背... - Back up, guy... - Do-si-do, do-si-do
天啊 Jesus.
背對背 背對背 背對背 Do-do-si-do, do-si-do, do-si-do, do-si-do.
- 借過 借過 - 她還好嗎 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - Is she all right?
- 沒事 - 借過 - It's okay. - Excuse me.
背對背 Do-si-do.
好了 別移動她 All right. Okay. Don't try to move her.
她喝醉了 She's drunk.
- 謝謝你 不需要了 - 她是金髮妹 - There's no need, thank you. - She's blond.
- 背對背 - 喬 你又不是醫生 - Do-si-do. - Jo, you're not a doctor.
沃爾特 我能處理的 整個廣播網我都能管好 Walter, I can take care of this. I ran a network.
- 趕緊報警吧 - 麥克來了 - Somebody call 911. - Mike's here.
麥克 Mike.
背對背 Do-si-do.
背對背 背對背 背對背 Do-si-do, do-si-do, do-si-do.
- 麥克 - 沒事 我在這 - Mike. - It's okay. I'm here.
沃爾特 您的夫人 Walter, the missus.
- 夫人 - 喬 喬 - The missus? - Jo, Jo.
沃爾特 你什麼毛病啊 Walter, what is your problem?
- 不好意思 - 請往後站 - Excuse me. - Stand back, please.
嘿 不好意思... Hey! Uh, excuse...
- 不好意思 - 我沒法... - Excuse me. - I can't... ex...
背對背 背對... do-si-do, do-si...
那是怎麼回事 what was that?
赫伯 戴夫 Herb, Dave,
幫一下忙 把薩拉抬到我的悍馬車上 give me a hand, and we'll get Sarah right into my Hummer.
- 你的悍馬車 - 這車很舒適的 - Your Hummer? - It's a sweet ride.
還很寬敞 It's roomy.
我們得叫救護車 你們不應該移動她 We need an ambulance. You shouldn't be moving her.
她可能需要輸氧 護理 She might need oxygen, paramedics.
喬 世界不是圍著你轉的 Everything isn't always about you, Jo.
沃爾特 Walter.
她會好起來的 She'll be fine.
是太陽太猛烈 她脫水罷了 It's... it's too much sun. She's dehydrated.
脫水 你是瘋了嗎 Dehydrated? Are you crazy?
喬 很抱歉 麥克 Jo. I'm sorry about this, Mike.
瓊安娜 瓊安娜 Joanna. Joanna,
這是非常特殊的時刻 this is a very special moment.
我向你介紹一下... I would like you to meet...
麥克·惠靈頓 Mike Wellington.
我的丈夫 My husband.
噢... Oh...
你一定就是那個著名的瓊安娜了 And you must be the famous Joanna.
你比報紙上看起來更漂亮呢 You're even prettier than in the newspapers.
他們對你非常的不公平 They don't do you justice.
抱歉 那個女人病得可不輕 Excuse me, that woman is very sick.
謝謝 但是我應該陪著她的 Thank you. I should be going with her.
她會得到周全的照顧的 She'll get all the help she needs.
相信我 女士 Trust me, little lady.
那個女人癲癇病發作了 That woman had a seizure,
實際上她都快懸空了 and she was practically levitating.
都已經跟你說五百萬遍了 And I have told you five million times
我打過電話給赫伯了 I phoned herb.
他說薩拉沒事 He said that Sarah is fine.
就如麥克所說的 她只是有點脫水 She just needed some fluids, just like Mike said.
- 她當時都冒火花了 沃爾特 - 她是在跳舞 - She was sparking, Walter. - She was dancing.
那麼為什麼不叫醫生 Then why wasn't there a doctor anywhere?
- 還有為什麼... - 小聲點 孩子 - And why...? - Shh. Kids.
為什麼... Why...?
沃爾特 Walter!
沃爾特 還有為什麼大家 Walter! And why did everyone
都不假思索地就聽那個麥克的指揮了 just automatically listen to that Mike person?
還有為什麼 所有人都袖手旁觀 And why, why was everyone just standing there?
你是說為什麼他們沒有聽你的指揮嗎 You mean why weren't they just listening to you?
- 我不是那個意思 - 天啊 瓊安娜 - That's not what I'm saying! - Jesus Christ, Joanna!
- 什麼 - 你被辭退了 - What? - You were fired,
你的孩子幾乎不認識你 your kids barely know you,
還有我們的婚姻正在分崩離析 and our marriage is falling apart.
- 噓 - 還有你的態度 - Shh! - And your whole attitude
讓人簡直想殺了你 makes people want to kill you.
讓人想試著把你給殺了 It makes people try to kill you.
這就是我們來這裏的原因 That's what we're doing here.
這個鎮子裏的人除了對你 The people in this town have been nothing
友好和善之外 別無他想 but friendly and welcoming and wonderful to you.
但是你卻一直多疑猜測 And you've been nothing but snide and suspicious.
除此之外 你還在野餐活動上羞辱我 And on top of that, at the picnic you humiliated me.
我沒法再忍受下去了 Well, I can't do it anymore.
我沒法為了雞毛蒜皮的小事 I can't keep fighting you
和你一直爭吵 我們完了 for every inch of everything. Game over.
- 我們的婚姻也完了 - 不 - Marriage over. - Oh, no!
不 No!
什麼 No what?
別走 Please don't go.
- 為什麼 - 因為你是對的 - Why not? - Because you're right.
等等 你剛才說什麼 Wait, I'm sorry. I don't think I heard that.
我沒聽清楚 What did you just say?
我說 你是對的 I said, you're right.
關於哪方面 About?
一切 About everything.
關於我 Oh... about me.
你知道為什麼我會到廣播網工作嗎 Do you know why I signed on at the network?
因為我想如果我在你身邊的話 Because I thought that if I was around,
就可以幫你加油打氣 I could help you lighten up.
是嗎 You did?
是的 那檔節目叫什麼來著 Yeah, I did. What was that one show called?
《我為人人》嗎 I can do everybody?
看到了吧 我就是這個意思 See, that's what I mean.
我想讓你開心 I wanted to make you laugh.
你太貼心了 但是我... That's so sweet, but I...
我太忙了 我... I was busy. I was...
沃爾特 我在管理著整個廣播網 I was running a network, Walter.
你忙到我們已經有一年沒有親熱了 You were so busy that we haven't made love in over a year.
我知道 I know.
我想你 我... Well, I miss you. I...
但是我一直都那麼的愛你 我... But I've always loved you so much. I...
你知道的 You know that.
為什麼 Why?
因為... 因為... Because... Because...
你傻傻的 還有你... ...you're goofy, and you're...
很帥氣 還有你... You're handsome, and you're... you're...
你是我的沃爾特 You're my Walter.
還有因為你在玩電腦弈棋的時候 And because when you play computer chess
你會跳那個... you do that little, uh...
你會跳那個勝利之舞 哇嗚 You do that little victory dance. Whoo-whoo.
才沒有 我才沒有 I do not. I don't do that.
- 你就有 - 我沒有 - Yes, you do. - No, I don't.
但是如果我不是最聰明的 But if I'm not the smartest
最成功的精英中的精英 and the best of the best and the most successful,
那我就不知道自己到底是誰了 then I don't know, who am I?
你想知道嗎 Do you wanna find out?
怎麼 How?
首先 我們現在是在鄉下 First of all, we're in the country now,
別再穿黑色衣服了 so no more black.
- 別再穿黑色衣服 你瘋了嗎 - 你聽我說 - No more black? Are you insane? - You heard me.
只有精力充沛的神經過敏性 Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating,
曼哈頓事業女漢子才會穿黑色 Manhattan career bitches wear black.
你想成為那樣的人嗎 Is that what you wanna be?
從我小時候就開始想了 Ever since I was a little girl.
我看起來真的還好嗎 Do I really look okay?
要我說實話嗎 Can I be honest?
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
你看起來有點像貝蒂妙廚 You look kind of like Betty Crocker.
我知道 I know.
- 在貝蒂·福特戒癮中心的那種 - 需要牛奶 - At Betty Ford. - We need milk.
- 需要牛奶 需要牛奶 - 謝謝 - We need milk. We need milk. - Thank you.
我在試著努力改變 Look, I'm trying to make an effort to change.
昨晚 我的丈夫完全變了個人 I mean, last night my husband was a different person.
變得強硬 有說服力 有掌控性 He was strong, he was forceful, he was commanding.
就像你的冰箱那樣 Like your refrigerator.
好吧 可沒人說當個家庭主婦 Well, nobody said it was gonna be easy being a homemaker
不愛出門的母親是件容易事 and a stay-at-home mom.
這可是世界上最艱難的工作了 對吧 It's the toughest job in the world, right?
可能吧 這些斯塔福女人 Well, that may be, but these Stepford women,
完全是不同次元的 they're a whole other dimension.
就像昨天 Oh, like yesterday,
那個可憐的女人 薩拉·桑德森 that poor lady, Sarah sunderson.
沃爾特說她沒事了 Walter said she's fine.
但你不是說她的耳朵都冒火花了嘛 But you said she was shooting off sparks from her ears.
現在 那就是第一個跡象了 Now, that's the first sign.
- 什麼跡象 - 廉價珠寶 - Of what? - Cheap jewelry.
- 我們應該去看望她 - 為什麼 - We should go see her. - Why?
因為我們應該給予支持啊 Because we need to be supportive.
那就是曼哈頓之外的人們會做的 That's how people behave outside of Manhattan.
他們互相關愛 They care about each other.
如果你們身在紐約 I mean, if you were in New York
然後一個鄰居生病了 你們會怎麼做 and one of your neighbors got sick, what would you do?
- 我們會給她打電話 - 看她是不是快病逝了 - We'd call her. - To see if she was gonna die.
那樣我們就能拿到她的公寓了 So we could get the apartment.
我們走吧 起來 起來 Let's go. Hm? Up. Up. Up.
薩拉 Sarah?
- 有人在嗎 - 她在裏面嗎 - Yoo-hoo. - Yoo-hoo? Is she in there?
- 你在幹什麼 - 門是開著的 - What are you doing? - It's open.
- 太不可思議了 - 太好人了 - That's amazing. - So sweet.
感覺完全被信任 And so trusting.
羅傑 Roger.
- 看看這個地方 - 哇嗚 - Look at this place. - Wow.
薩拉 薩拉 Sarah? Sarah?
羅傑 Roger.
噢 赫伯 Oh, herb.
- 噢 寶貝 - 噢 太棒了 - Oh, baby. - Oh! Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
- 求你了 - 耶 - Oh, make me beg! - Yeah!
我太幸運了 Oh, I'm so lucky!
- 天啊 - 是在看錄影帶嗎 - Oh, my god. - Is that a DVD?
不是 是他們本人 No, it's them.
你是我的王 Oh, you're the king!
好棒 Yes!
- 我要上去 - 幹嘛 - I'm going up there. - Why?
- 羅傑 - 我想要看一下 - Roger! - I want some.
羅傑 羅傑 Roger. Roger.
- 寶貝 給我拿點玉米片 - 好 親愛的 - Baby, grab me some nachos. - Yes, dear.
我們應該出去 We should get out of here.
這是什麼 What's this?
- 羅傑 放下 - 幹嘛 拜託 安靜 - Roger, put it down. - What? Oh, come on. Shh.
- 羅傑 - 為什麼這上面還刻了"薩拉" - Roger. - Why does it say Sarah?
羅傑 你應該現在就把它放下 Roger, you should put it down now.
我們出去吧 這裏不是我們的房子 Let's get out of here. This isn't our house.
別說了 你們難道就不能閉嘴嗎 Oh, stop. Would you just quit?
羅傑 我們得走了 We have to, Roger.
見鬼 我們這是在非法入侵 For god's sake, we're trespassing.
我們得離開這裏 We have to get out of here.
放下 拜託 Put it down. Come on.
好吧 試試按這個鍵 Okay, let's try and use this.
我們得走了 We have to go.
- 她來了 - 她來了 - She's coming. - She's coming.
趕緊 趕緊 趕緊 Hurry, hurry, hurry.
我真是太尷尬了 I'm so embarrassed.
太尷尬了 都要餓死了 I'm mortified. I'm famished.
- 博比 - 怎麼了 - Bobbie. - Yeah?
你是在培養炭疽嗎 Are you making Anthrax?
不好意思 Excuse me.
我一直在忙著寫新書 I've been busy. My new book.
你就不能請個人來搞衛生嗎 But can't you hire someone to clean?
請個勇敢的人 Someone brave?
戴夫說我得自己動手 就像薩拉·桑德森那樣 Dave says I got to do it myself, like Sarah sunderson.
你能相信嗎 Ooh, could you believe her?
但是 親愛的 她家真的是一塵不染 But, darling, her home is spotless.
而且她還大白天的 And she's having incredible sex
就和自己丈夫搞得天翻地覆 in the middle of the day with her husband.
抱歉 Well, I'm sorry,
但我的精神病醫生說我需要創造性混亂 but my shrink says I need creative chaos.
我的理療師說我需要清晰的界限 My therapist says I need boundaries.
我的醫生說我需要 My doctor said I need
足夠的電療 才能打起精神 enough electricity to jumpstart Vegas.
你試過抑鬱藥沒 You ever done Zoloft?
噢 小意思 Oh! Kid stuff.
鎮靜劑 我喜歡鎮靜劑 比較老派 Xanax. I worship Xanax. I'm old-fashioned.
我喜歡百憂解 再加點偉哥 I like Prozac with a Viagra chaser.
雄起 雄起啊 You're up, and you're up!
噢 羅傑 Oh, Roger.
偉哥 Viagra.
嘿 你是不是有什麼東西要告訴我們 Hey, is there something that you need to tell us?
好吧 Well...
- 分享 - 沒錯 - Sharing. - Mm-hm.
好吧 Okay. Okay.
傑裏和我已經接受伴侶心理諮詢... Jerry and I have been in couple's counseling...
一年多了... For over a year...
最終... And finally...
我沒法再忍受 Finally I just couldn't take it anymore.
我怒吼道 "你都已經成了個同性戀共和主義者了" I howled, "You've become a gay republican."
他說 "這有什麼問題嗎" and he said, "What's wrong with that?"
我說 "這有什麼問題 I said, "What's wrong with that?
這就像是你想頂著頭爛髮型當同性戀" That's like wanting to be gay with a bad haircut."
沒錯 Exactly.
所以心理醫生建議我們搬到郊區來 So the counselor suggested that we move to the 'burbs.
尋找平衡點 To find a balance.
我們是迫不得已才搬到這裏的 We moved here as a last resort.
法院命令 不許提問 Court order. Don't ask.
好吧 我知道這確實難以想像 Okay. I know this is unthinkable,
但如果我們真能學會如何在不服用... but what if we could actually learn how to be happy...
藥物和或者強迫性暴食下也能快樂起來呢 Without Paxil or compulsive overeating?
如果我們真的努力試試 What if we actually gave this whole thing a try for real,
斯塔福式生活呢 the whole Stepford thing?
- 嘿 耶 - 只能有一個勝出者 - Hey, yeah! - Only one can survive.
宙斯 宙斯 宙斯 Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!
宙斯 宙斯 宙斯 宙斯 Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!
加油 克裏斯波 Come on, kresbo, baby.
宙斯 宙斯 把它的胸罩拿掉 Zeus! Zeus! Rip her bra off!
宙斯 宙斯 宙斯 Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!
耶 耶 Yeah! Yeah!
宙斯是宇宙的主宰 Zeus rules the universe!
泰德輸給沃爾特二十大洋 And Ted owes Walter 20 big ones!
啊 做個男子漢 Ah, to be a man.
哇嗚 Whoo!
沃爾特 So, Walt,
你和斯塔福鎮似乎真的很投緣啊 you and Stepford, it seems like a real match.
我想說 這個地方 這個小鎮 這裏的房子 I'll say. I mean, the town and the houses. This place.
就像夢境一樣 就像是... Well, it's like a dream. It's like...
生活本來就應該是這個樣子的 Like the way life was meant to be.
還有你們的妻子 天啊 And all of your wives. Oh, my god.
天啊 她們是如此... Oh, my god. They're so... so, um...
貼心嗎 Sweet?
熱辣嗎 Sizzling?
超級棒嗎 Super fine?
好吧... Well...
能參加斯塔福讀書俱樂部 We are all so thrilled to be here
我們真的是非常的激動 at the Stepford book club,
簡直難以名狀 I can't tell you.
我剛看完林登·詹森的 Now, I have just finished the third volume
《羅伯特·卡羅的一生》的第三卷 of Robert caro's life of lyndon Johnson,
我已經等不及要看下一卷了 and I am dying for the next installment.
那本書確實非凡 That's all marvelous,
但今天我們要討論的是... but today we are going to discuss...
它可能是 Well, it is probably
我們所有人所拜讀的書籍中最重要的一本 the most important book any of us will ever read.
是的 它不但刺激且鼓舞人心 Yes, it is provocative, but it is also inspiring.
《山上的遺產》豪華限定版 The heritage hills special edition golden deluxe treasury
是耶誕節的紀念版 of Christmas keepsakes and collectibles.
這本書對我說 This book said to me,
"讓我們用故事慶祝我主基督耶穌的 "Let's celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ
誕生" with yarn."
博比 Now, Bobbie,
我們認為你可能會對這周的 we all realize you're probably feeling
讀書分享感到有點不太舒服 a bit uncomfortable with this week's book
因為你是... because you're...
我應該用什麼詞好呢 Oh, what's the word I'm looking for?
新來的 New?
- 害怕 - 古怪 - Scared? - Cranky?
猶太人 Jewish.
都一樣 Same thing.
但這套《山上的遺產》非常具有包容性 But the heritage hill series is very inclusive.
實際上 裏面有整整一章節是關於光明節的 In fact, there is a whole chapter about hanukkah.
我很喜歡講述松果的那個章節 I just love the chapter on pinecones.
它們不僅僅可以用來做花環和擺桌飾品 They're not just for wreaths and centerpieces.
你還可以用松果做一個非常特別的耶誕節燭臺 You can use pinecones to create a very special yuletide menorah.
只要再加一小頂毛線帽 Your pinecone snowman could be Jewish.
你的松果雪人就能成為猶太版的 Just add one of those little beanies.
或者我可以用上百個松果 Or maybe I could just use hundreds of pinecones
在我家前院拼一個 to spell out the words, "Big Jew,"
足十五尺高的"大猶太"字樣出來 in letters 15 feet tall in the snow in my front yard.
真是個好主意 That's a wonderful idea.
- 是的 - 真是好主意 - Oh, yes, yes. - That's very wonderful.
我想拼一個原物大小的聖誕老人 I love the idea of creating a life-sized Santa claus,
- 全都用松果 - 好吧 我喜歡這主意 - all out of pinecones. - Okay, I love that.
我要用松果拼一個嬰兒版的耶穌 I'm going to use a pinecone in my nativity as the baby Jesus.
我要在自慰器上裝一個松果 And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator
然後過個快樂的耶誕節 and have a really merry Christmas.
噢... Oh...
瓊安娜 她還適應嗎 Joanna, how is she fitting in?
呃... Well...
還行吧... Okay...
我也算是自己人 對吧 I'm among friends, right?
當然了 Of course. Yeah.
那麼... So...
瓊安娜和我談過了 Joanna and I had this big talk,
兩個人都敞開心扉 開誠佈公 and we were really open with each other.
問題都解決了 I mean, we really got it all out.
我想從現在開始... And I think from now on...
她會變得非常 非常的不一樣 ...she's gonna be very, very different.
你覺得瓊安娜真的會改變嗎 You think Joanna's really going to change?
是的 當然 Yes, I do. Absolutely.
你結婚多久了 And how long have you been married?
泰德 Ted!
怎麼了 Yes.
你不是還欠沃爾特二十塊錢嗎 Don't you owe Walter $20?
是的 沒錯 That's absolutely right, I do.
寶貝 Babe!
怎麼了 親愛的 Yes, darling?
沃爾特 坐下吧 Walt, sit down.
我需要二十塊錢 I need 20.
- 你知道我的密碼 - 當然 - You know my pin. - Of course.
她給的都是零錢 She gives singles.
這些是為明天的日間夏令營準備的嗎 Are these all for day camp tomorrow?
寶貝 我只是想要你為我驕傲 I just want you to be proud of me, honey.
爸爸 快看 Dad, watch this.
球 Ball.
這個機器人是不是很酷 Aren't robots cool?
是的 Oh, yeah.
男主人在嗎 May I speak to the man of the house?
- 蠻橫巴特 - 蟲師馬科維茨 - Snot-butt. - Bugmaster markowitz.
冷血殺手 克裏斯波 Stone-cold thriller killer kresbo.
有人要吃紙杯蛋糕嗎 Cupcakes, anyone?
- 紙杯蛋糕 - 紙杯蛋糕 - Cupcakes! - Cupcakes.
嘿 時間剛剛好 Hey, right on time.
喬 蛋糕還冒著熱氣呢 Jo, these are smoking.
你怎麼就不做一下點心什麼的 Why don't you make stuff like this?
那你怎麼不做 Why don't you?
因為我是男人 Because I have a penis.
- 我們得走了 - 是的 我們要開個會 - We should get moving. - Yeah, we got a meeting.
在男士休閒會所 At the men's association.
親愛的 你什麼時候回家 When will you be home, honey?
該回家的時候我就會回 When I'm home.
找個保姆吧 Call a sitter.
博比 你確定要這樣嗎 Bobbie, are you sure about this?
我們不是來偷看 只是來參觀的 We're not spying. We're just visiting.
夥計們 無法形容這位新同伴的加入 Fellas, I can't tell you how happy we are
讓我有多開心 to welcome all of this new blood.
我很喜歡這個地方 I love, love this space.
這裏簡直就是時尚又復古 It's very Ralph Lauren meets Sherlock Holmes.
對我而言 就是"我有蛋又有品位" To me, it says, "I have taste and a scrotum."
- 羅傑 你答應過的 - 什麼 - Roger, you promised. - What?
- 粗口 - 討厭 - Whore. - Bore.
抱歉 Sorry.
不 不 不 傑裏 你會發現 No, no, no. Jerry, you're gonna find
斯塔福鎮是非常開放的... that Stepford is very open-minded and...
沒錯 Oh, yeah.
我們像歡迎其他夫婦一樣 ...we welcome you and your partner,
歡迎你和你的伴侶 just like any other couple.
- 當然 一視同仁 - 當然 - Absolutely. Any other. - Of course.
- 沒錯 - 女朋友 - That's right. - Girlfriend.
小... 小姐 Miss... miss thing.
敬斯塔福鎮 To Stepford!
敬斯塔福鎮 Stepford!
見鬼 走吧 我們走 Dang it. Come on, let's go.
你覺得這樣真的沒問題嗎 偷偷摸摸的 You think this is all right, sneaking around?
你好好想想 Add it up.
這裏所有的女人都是完美的性感尤物 All the women around here are perfect sex-kitten bimbos.
所有男人都是不能自理的白癡 All the men are drooling nerds.
- 不覺得很奇怪嗎 - 不覺得 - Doesn't that seem strange? - Not to me.
- 為什麼不覺得 - 我是名電視工作者 - Why not? - I work in television.
走吧 Oh, come on.
沃爾特 我想瓊安娜是對的 You know, Walter, I think Joanna is right.
我想斯塔福就是答案 I think Stepford is the answer.
- 她是個好女人 - 或者說她會成為好女人的 - She's a great gal. - Or she will be.
- 拜託 拉我起來 - 我們不應該在這裏 - Come on, help me up. - We shouldn't be here.
拜託 別那麼膽小 Oh, come on. Don't be such a chicken.
- 我應該在家做著我的紙杯蛋糕 - 為什麼 - I should be home with my cupcakes. - Why?
因為你不過是做了五千個紙杯蛋糕嗎 Because you only made 5,000 of them?
- 我們這是在非法入侵 - 被抓到才算是 - We're trespassing. - Only if we get caught.
見鬼 我什麼都看不見 Damn, I can't see a thing.
那裏有燈 在那 Oh, there's the light. There it is.
不 博比 No, Bobbie.
這就像是外星人畸形秀一樣 This is like some alien freak show.
為什麼 不過就是一些全家福罷了 Why? They're just family portraits.
是的 我就是那個意思 Yeah, that's what I said.
燈 The lights.
我們應該離家這裏 We should get out of here.
別出聲 Shh!
- 我們是不是該逃跑 - 噓 - Should we run? - Shh.
天啊 Oh, my god.
克拉麗斯 Clarice?
嗨 女士們 Hi, girls!
羅傑 Roger!
你嚇死我們了 You scared us.
- 你們在這裏幹嘛呢 - 怎麼回事 - What are you doing in here? - What's going on?
他們是在嫖妓 尋歡作樂 還是在看色情錄影帶啊 Do they have hookers or old playboys or cable porn?
拜託 他們只是在打打鬧鬧罷了 Oh, please. They barely have throw pillows.
噢 Ooh!
- 他們來了 - 那些男人們 - They're coming. - The menfolk.
- 打給我們 - 好的 - Call us. - Okay.
羅傑 Rog?
是什麼 你看見誰了嗎 What was it? Did you see anyone?
什麼都沒看見 Not a soul.
不過這裏到底有什麼啊 這些房間裏面 But what's back here anyway, in all of these rooms?
倉庫嗎 衣服嗎 Storage? Sweaters?
還是屍體嗎 Bodies?
傑裏 Jerry.
看見你左手邊的那扇門了嗎 Do you see that door on your left?
過去看看吧 Check it out.
噢 天啊 Oh, boy.
我什麼都看不見啊 太黑了 Why, I can't see anything. It's dark.
- 打開你的手電筒啊 - 噢 - Use your flashlight. - Oh.
我感覺就像是神探南茜那樣 I feel like Nancy drew
深陷在中年危機的秘密中 in the mystery of the mid-life crisis.
我到底在看著什麼啊 Hm. What am I looking for?
往下看 Look down.
傑裏 Jerry?
羅傑 Roger!
- 博比 - 羅傑 - Bobbie. - Roger!
- 博比 - 羅傑 - Bobbie? - Roger!
羅傑說男士休閒會所壓根 Roger said there was nothing going on
沒有什麼不對勁的地方 at the men's association.
那他為什麼不接電話 Well, then why doesn't he answer the phone?
- 已經兩天了 - 博比 - It's been two days. - Bobbie.
羅傑 Roger!
這不是他最喜歡的襯衫嗎 Isn't that his favorite shirt,
杜嘉班納的 the dolce & gabbana?
還有古馳的 And the guccis.
- 範思哲的 - 可能是他要捐掉呢 - And the versace. - Maybe he's donating them.
捐給誰 無家可歸的同性戀嗎 To what? The gay homeless?
他可喜歡這張照片了 He loved this.
他的髮型大典 His program from hairspray.
- 天啊 - 怎麼了 - Oh, my god. - What is it?
維果的衣服 Viggo.
謝謝 女士們 先生們 我是傑裏·哈蒙 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Jerry harmon, and I...
我知道我才剛來沒多久 但已經感覺很好 I know I'm pretty new here, but already I feel so at home.
但是為什麼傑裏叫我們在這裏和他見面 But why did Jerry ask us to meet him here?
我有幸向大家介紹 Proud that I can introduce
斯塔福鎮最新的州參議員候選人 Stepford's brand-new candidate for State Senate.
女士們 先生們 有請羅傑·班尼斯特 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr. Roger bannister.
什麼 What?
他太棒了 He's wonderful.
謝謝 Thank you.
非常感謝 Thank you so much.
你們也許會問 You may very well ask,
我有什麼資格競選政府機關一職 what are my qualifications for higher office?
那就是我相信斯塔福鎮 Well, I believe in Stepford,
相信美國 相信祈禱者的力量 America and the power of prayer.
感謝我的拍檔 傑裏·哈蒙 Values I've discovered thanks to my partner,
他讓我找到了生活和上帝的價值所在 in life and in the lord, Jerry harmon.
羅傑 羅傑 Roger. Roger.
是有提問嗎 馬科維茨太太 Yes. Is there a question? Mrs. Markowitz?
所以你們兩... 現在開心嗎 So... you... You two are happy now?
比以前都要開心快樂 More than ever.
因為現在我知道 作為同性戀不是意味著 Because now I know that being gay doesn't mean
就要娘娘腔 打扮豔麗 生性敏感 a guy has to be effeminate or flamboyant or sensitive.
我不是娘娘腔 I'm no sissy.
不是 No.
是個漢子 That's a man!
羅傑 Roger?
什麼事 沃爾特·克萊斯比太太 Yes. Mrs. Walter kresby.
羅傑 我不懂 Roger, I don't understand.
你就站在這裏 你就是那個羅傑 You were out there, you were Roger.
但是現在... And now...
你完全不一樣了 你的髮型 你的穿著 Now you're different. Your hair, your clothes.
你看起來就像另一個人 You're like someone else.
人人都會改變的 People change.
你阻止不了斯塔福的步伐 You can't stop Stepford.
- 你阻止不了斯塔福的步伐 - 你阻止不了斯塔福的步伐 - You can't stop Stepford. - You can't stop Stepford.
你阻止不了斯塔福的步伐 你阻止不了斯塔福的步伐 You can't stop Stepford. You can't stop Stepford.
那就是我們得離開斯塔福鎮的原因嗎 So that's why we have to leave Stepford?
- 我不懂 - 好吧 - I'm not following. - Okay.
以前... 羅傑幽默 時髦又毒舌 Before... Roger was witty and stylish and ironic.
- 我確定他還是那個他 - 不 - And I'm sure he still is. - No.
現在他卻穿得西裝革履 站在臺上演講 Now he's making speeches in a Brooks brothers suit.
嘿 同性戀也有很多種風格 Hey, there's lots of ways to be gay.
別把他想得如此一成不變了 Don't try to make him into a stereotype.
不 Oh-ho-ho-ho.
博比是對的 她也打算要離開了 Bobbie is right, and she's leaving too.
這個地方對裏面的人做了些改變 This place does something to people.
所有女人總是保持忙碌 完美 微笑 All of the women are always busy and perfect and smiling,
所有男人總是那麼開心 and all of the men are always happy.
那有什麼問題 And that's a problem because...?
沃爾特 這不正常 Because it's not normal, Walter.
這個世界不是這樣的 我們不是這樣的 It's... it's not the world. It's not us.
我現在去露營地接孩子 And I'm picking up our kids from camp right now,
然後我們離開這裏 and we're getting out of here.
你走不走隨你 With or without you.
安全 Secure.
你永遠都不會改變的 對嗎 You'll never change, will you?
不會真的改變 Not really.
開門 Open the door.
前門打開 Unlock front.
你是對的 And you're right.
什麼 About what?
如果你住得不開心 那我們就搬走吧 If you're that unhappy, then we should move.
也許回到市區去 Maybe head back to the city.
我們明天再走 We could leave tomorrow.
謝謝你 Thank you.
你嘴裏叼著什麼東西 What you got there? Huh?
親愛的 Sweetcakes?
現在是淩晨四點 你起來幹什麼 It's 4 A.M. What are you up to?
只是先準備明天的食譜 我想先做好準備 Just recipes for tomorrow. I like to get a head start.
打算做什麼 On what?
蘋果派 博比推薦的 Uh, apple pie. Bobbie recommended it.
我等下就上去 I'll be right up.
沃爾特 Walter?
寶貝 Babe?
博比 博比 Bobbie? Bobbie!
噢 天啊 Oh, my god.
博比 Bobbie?
早上好 瓊安娜 Good morning, Joanna.
真是美妙的早上 對嗎 Isn't it a lovely morning?
顏色真好看 That's a pretty color.
- 媽媽 - 媽媽 - Mom! - Mom!
早上好 寶貝們 Good morning, my precious ones.
謝謝你們發郵件告知我有什麼需求了 And thank you for leaving your requests on my e-mail.
亞當 你要的花生醬和果醬三明治 去邊的 Adam, you wanted peanut butter and jelly, no crusts,
一根士力架巧克力棒 一塊勞力士手錶 a snickers bar and a rolex.
本 全麥的玉米煎餅 Ben, here's a whole-wheat burrito,
一杯大豆蛋白奶昔 a soy protein shake
三塊德國巧克力夾心蛋糕 and three pieces of German chocolate layer cake.
- 你做的嗎 - 當然 - From scratch? - Of course.
還有馬克思 And, Max,
你要的稍微烘烤過的 you get bacon, lettuce and tomato
醃肉生菜番茄芝麻籽百吉餅 on a lightly-toasted sesame seed bagel.
我要的動作玩偶呢 But what about my action figures?
有梅斯·溫杜和阿米達拉 There's mace windu and Amidala.
- 波巴·費特呢 - 賣完了 - Where's boba fett? - They were out.
- 媽媽 - 這裏有五百塊 - Mom! - Here's $500.
好吧 All right.
拜拜 媽媽 寶寶 瓊安娜 Bye, mom. Bye, Joanna.
他們長得真快 我想再多生三個娃 Oh, they grow up so fast. I think I'll have three more.
博比 聽我說 他們對你做了什麼 Bobbie, listen to me. What have they done to you, huh?
他們對你做了什麼 是不是下藥了 What have they done to you? Is it drugs?
還是洗腦 嘿 和我說說話 Is it brainwashing? Come on, hey, talk to me.
當然可以 不過只能聊一會 Of course, but only for a minute.
然後我就得開始打掃這個豬窩了 Then I have to get to work on this pigsty.
- 要喝咖啡嗎 - 不用了 - coffee? - No. No coffee.
博比 博比 昨晚我上網查了 Bobbie. Bobbie, last night I went online, all right,
然後我發現 and I found out
這裏所有的女人 以前都是大人物 that all of the women here, they used to be big deals,
是大人物 首席執行官 高管 法官 I mean, big deals. CEOs, executives, judges.
薩拉·桑德森 她以前運營著一家航空公司 Sarah sunderson, she used to run an airline.
還能保持那麼完美的皮膚嗎 With that perfect skin?
不 不 不 No. No, no, no.
她以前不是這個樣子的 She didn't used to look like that.
- 她們以前都不是這個樣子的... - 喝咖啡嗎 - None of the women did. They... - coffee?
咖啡 不 不喝咖啡 Coffee? No. No coffee.
博比 博比 這不是你 Bobbie. Bobbie. This isn't you.
沒錯 瓊安娜 這不是我 That's right, Joanna. This isn't me.
這是一個全新的我 It's a whole new me.
我現在很開心 健康 因為我懂得了 I'm happy and I'm healthy because I understand
什麼才是生命中重要的事情 what's important in life.
是的 Yes.
- 你的新書 - 沒錯 - Your new book. - That's right.
這才是最重要的 我的新烹飪書 That's what's important, my new cookbook.
還有我的丈夫 我的家人 建造一個完美的家庭 And my husband and my family and making a perfect home.
這是每個女人都應該學會的一課 It's a lesson every gal needs to learn.
特別是你 Especially you.
瓊安娜 我是你的朋友 我會幫助你的 I'm your friend, Joanna. I'm going to help you.
- 你需要我 - 你離我遠點 - You need me. - You stay away from me.
你被驅使著 You're driven.
- 有時吧 - 你還很自私 - Well, sometimes. - And you're selfish.
- 你想要統治這個世界 - 不 - You wanna rule the world. - No.
我能幫助你 我能改變你 I can fix you. I can change you.
他們到底對你做了什麼 What... have... they... Done to you?
我們開始忙活吧 Let's get busy.
趕緊接電話 Answer the phone.
你好 請問是日間夏令營嗎 Hello, is--? Is this the day camp?
噢 Oh.
是的 我是瓊安娜·埃伯哈特 Yes, this is... This is Joanna eberhart.
我想和我的孩子們說說話 I would like to speak to my children.
我馬上去接他們 I'm coming to pick them up right now.
什麼 What?
沃爾特 Walter!
沃爾特 你在哪里 Walter, where are you?
我知道你接走了孩子 I know you've got the kids.
皮特 金柏莉 Pete, Kimberly!
男人們 Oh, boys.
歡迎 Welcome.
我的孩子在哪 Where are my children?
他們非常安全 They're perfectly safe.
我的孩子在哪 Where are my children?
你很快就會見到他們了 You'll see them soon.
沃爾特在哪 Where's Walter?
你怎麼能這麼做 How could you do this?
自從我們相遇之後 你事事都比我強 Ever since we met, you've beaten me at everything.
你學歷比我高 You're better educated.
你比我強大 比我更迅速 You're stronger, you're faster.
跳舞比我好 網球也打得比我好 You're a better dancer, a better tennis player.
你總是能賺六位數以上的薪酬 You've always earned at least six figures more
比我能夢想的還要多 than I could ever dream of.
你比我會說話 You're a better speaker,
執行力也比我強 a better executive.
你甚至比我更會親熱 別否認 You're even better at sex. Don't deny it.
我不是故意的 I wasn't going to.
我得到什麼了嗎 Well, don't I get anything?
你有我啊 You got me.
不 我只是個幫你拎包的 No, I got to hold your purse.
我得幫你和孩子們說 媽媽又要遲到了 I got to tell the kids that you'd be late again.
我得幫你和媒體說 瓊安娜無可奉告 I got to tell the press that you had no comment.
我得幫你做事 I got to work for you.
是和我一起工作 With me.
是在你手下工作 Under you.
我們所有人 All of us.
都娶了神奇女俠 We married wonder women.
女超人 Supergirls.
亞馬遜女王 Amazon queens.
你知道這讓我們變成了怎麼樣嗎 Well, you know what that makes us?
聰明 有價值的幸運兒 Smart, worthy, lucky.
我們都是懦夫 We're the wuss.
你們羽翼下的懦夫 The wind beneath your wings.
你的支援系統 Your support system.
- 我們成了娘們 - 然而我們並不喜歡這樣 - We're the girl. - And we don't like it.
- 對 我們不喜歡 - 沒錯 - No, we don't. - Damn right!
- 沒錯 - 說得對 - Man! - Yeah. That's right.
這就是你們的答案嗎 殺了我們 And is this your answer, to kill us?
不 不是這樣的 我們幫助你們 讓你們變完美 Oh, no. Nothing like that. We help you. We perfect you.
把我們變成機器人嗎 By turning us into robots?
這些女人還有哪部分是屬於自己的嗎 Does any fraction of these women still exist?
當然 幾乎毫髮不缺 Of course. Almost everything.
我們是不是該給她看看 Shall we show her?
給我看什麼 Show me what?
是個推廣視頻 It's a promotional thing
為我們進行全球化推廣準備的 I've been working on for when we go global.
沃爾特 你一定沒看過 Walter, I don't think you've seen this.
有人問 我們是怎麼做到的 Some guys ask, how do we do it?
通俗地說 這真的相當簡單 In layman's terms, it's really pretty simple.
跟著我來 Come on along.
首先是一個滿臉不高興的陰鬱女人 First, we take a gloomy, dissatisfied woman.
然後就到了夫妻之間的 Then, in a very private experience
小小私人體驗時間了 between husband and wife,
他溫柔地把妻子放進我們的女性優化系統 he gently places her in our female improvement system.
這是全自動的 It's fully automated.
然後 魔法出現了 And then, abracadabra.
妻子的改造開始 Her transformation begins.
首先 我們定位她的大腦 First, we locate her brain.
植入一些微型晶片 We insert a few nanochips.
接著導入程式 Then we program them.
另外 再增加一些特殊佐料 Also, we add some secret, special ingredients.
為了避免意外發生 To avoid any accidents,
她的丈夫必須保持一定的距離 her husband is kept at a comfortable distance.
安全第一 Safety first.
最後 我們對她進行強化 Finally, we enhance her,
以符合理想中斯塔福嬌妻的標準 to fit the ideal Stepford wife specifications.
接著... And...
我們來瞧瞧 ...voil?
太棒了 Everything is copasetic.
歡迎來到未來 Welcome to the future.
又變成一幅畫了 It's a painting again.
什麼... Wha...?
我應該要解釋一下的 I should explain. You see,
我的真名並不叫麥克 my real name isn't Mike.
只是我在以前的公司用的綽號 It's just a nickname from where I used to work.
什麼公司 Where?
微軟 Microsoft.
美國國家航空和宇宙航行局 Nasa.
迪士尼 Disney.
美國線上公司 Aol.
那就是那些女人如此遲鈍的原因嗎 Is that why the women are so slow?
瓊安娜 Joanna.
這真的是你想要的嗎 Is this what you really want?
像奴隸一樣的女人 Women who behave like slaves,
一心只癡迷于清潔廚房 women who are obsessed with cleaning their kitchens
美髮的女人 and doing their hair,
無論如何都不會質疑你的女人 women who never challenge you in any way,
一個存在只是為了無微不至照顧你的女人 women who exist only to wait on you hand and foot?
- 是的 - 聽起來不錯 - Yeah. - That sounds good to me.
瓊安娜 你是個出色的女人 Joanna, you're a brilliant woman.
你起碼肯定能夠欣賞 Surely you can appreciate, at the very least,
這個天才般的理念 the genius of the concept.
試想一下 Picture it,
如果你能簡化你的伴侶 if you could streamline your spouse,
如果你能改掉每一個煩人的習慣 if you could overhaul every annoying habit,
每一處身體上的瑕疵 every physical flaw,
不需要再在床上聽到抱怨和嘮叨 every moment of whining and nagging and farting in bed.
試想一下... Imagine...
如果你愛的人 If you could enjoy the person you loved,
身上只有優點 but only at their very best.
你生氣 你怨恨 你憤怒的 And the only reason for your anger,
原因只有一個 很簡單 your resentment, your rage is really very simple.
因為是我們先想到了這個主意 You're furious because we thought of it first.
當你們還在試圖替代男人的時候 While you were trying to become men,
我們已經決定成為上帝了 we decided to become gods.
我問你個問題 Let me ask you something,
這些機器人 這些斯塔福嬌妻們 these machines, these Stepford wives,
她們會說"我愛你"嗎 can they say, "I love you"?
麥克 Mike.
當然 Of course.
五十八種語言 Fifty-eight languages.
但她們是全心全意的嗎 But do they mean it?
敬請欣賞 Enjoy.
沃爾特 Walter.
沃爾特 Walt.
瓊安娜 Joanna.
請到這裏 Right here.
薩拉 Sarah.
克雷爾 Claire.
- 瑪麗安 - 夏爾曼 - Marianne. - Charmaine.
- 羅傑 - 蘿勃塔 - Roger. - Roberta.
噢 麥克 Oh, Mike!
麥克 麥克 麥克 Mike, Mike, Mike!
麥克 麥克 麥克 麥克 Mike, Mike, Mike! Mike, Mike, Mike!
晚上好 各位 Good evening, everyone.
很高興見到 What a delight to see
我們所有美妙的嬌妻們 還有開心愉悅的丈夫們 all of our wonderful wives and their happy, happy husbands.
今晚絕對是本年度的重頭戲 Tonight is truly the highlight of our year because tonight
因為今晚 我們很榮幸得以歡迎斯塔福鎮的新成員 we honor our very newest citizens of Stepford.
在我看來 他們就是夫妻當中的精英 In my opinion, they are the cream of the crop in couple
能夠驕傲地宣告斯塔福鎮... that proudly proclaims Stepford...
美國式愛情的代表 ...the American way of love.
現在... Now...
我想邀請我最美妙的女人 最可愛的妻子 ...i'd like to ask my wonderful woman, my lovely wife,
我的新娘 我的摯友 my bride, my best friend,
與我共舞一支仲夏夜華爾滋 to join me in a glorious midsummer night's waltz.
一切是不是都很完美 Is everything perfect?
一切都很完美 Everything.
- 麥克 - 沃爾特 - Mike. - Walter.
親愛的 Darling.
- 我很榮幸 - 榮幸至極 - My pleasure. - It's an honor.
- 喝杯香檳嗎 - 讓我來吧 - Champagne? - Allow me.
大門已啟動 Doors activate.
歡迎1956號會員 Welcome member 1956.
沃爾特·克萊斯比 Kresby, Walter.
進入安全區域 Entering secure area.
警告 Warning.
初始化中 Initiating.
瓊安娜 你喜歡斯塔福鎮嗎 So, Joanna, are you enjoying Stepford?
當然了 這裏是如此的好 Oh, yes. The town is so splendid.
大家都很友善 Everyone is so kind.
當然 還有您 And then, of course, there's you.
我嗎 Me?
這真的非常簡單 And it's simple really.
親愛的 給我再來杯威士卡 Honey, grab me another scotch.
好的 親愛的 Right away, dear.
開始晶片逆轉程式 Begin nanoreversal.
晶片逆轉程式完成 Nanoreversal completed.
刪除斯塔福程式 Deleting Stepford program.
文件損壞 File corrupted.
正在刪除真空吸塵功能 Deleting vacuuming function.
親愛的 Honey.
噢 赫伯特 Oh, Herbert.
恢復原始性格 刪除斯塔福程式 Restoring original personality. Deleting Stepford program.
這是怎麼回事 What is this?
我穿的是什麼啊 What am I wearing?
麥克 Mike!
麥克 舞池那裏... Mike, there's something...
出了點無法言喻的事情 ...unspeakable going on in the ballroom.
你得馬上過去看看 You have to come right now.
簡直是場大災難 It's an apocalypse!
你們對我們做了什麼 What did you do to us?
麥克 麥克 麥克 Mike! Mike! Mike!
丈夫們 遙控你們的妻子 Men, control your wives.
遙控你們的妻子 Control your wives.
不奏效 It's not working!
不奏效 It's not working.
- 斯塔福鎮不應該是這樣的 - 麥克 - This is not Stepford. - Mike.
麥克 發生什麼事了 Mike, what's happening?
我剛才在花園 嚮往著你的... I was in the garden, and I was dreaming of your...
你的微笑和你須後水的味道 Your smile and your after-shave.
然後我意識到... And I realized...
我可以做得更好 I can do better.
沃爾特 Walt.
她不是機器人 She's not a robot.
- 什麼 - 什麼 - What? - What?
什麼 她不是機器人 What, she's not a robot?
她從來就不是 She never was.
等等 Wait a second.
- 我做不到 - 什麼 - I couldn't do it. - What?
為什麼 Why not?
因為她不是什麼科學項目 Because she's not a science project.
因為我不是娶了個無線電控制的機器 Because I didn't marry something from radioshack.
你真是個恥辱 That's a shame.
不 No.
那樣才是真男人 That's a man.
我還以為你已經準備好了 I thought you were ready.
我以為... I thought...
我以為你已經準備好了 我以為自己瞭解你 I thought you were ready. I thought I knew you.
是的 Yeah!
你真丟人 You're a disgrace.
為了這個鎮子的一切 To everything this town stands for.
為了未來 To the future.
沒錯 沒錯 讓他知道 That's right, that's right. Tell him.
你會付出代價的 You're gonna have to pay for that.
你竟敢碰他 Don't you touch him.
不 No!
他是個斯塔福複製丈夫 He's a Stepford husband?
他是個天使 An angel.
多得你... Now he's just...
現在他成了一堆配件 Spare parts, thanks to you.
那你是什麼 你是人還是機器人 But what are you? Are you a person or a machine?
我是個女人 I'm a lady.
真正的女人嗎 A real lady?
- 如假包換 - 等等 - Every inch. - Wait.
等等 真正的女人 你是人嗎 Wait, a real, real lady? Are you a human being?
是的 而且我可能還是 Yes, and I may very well be
僅存的舉止得體的人類 the only decent human being left.
- 在斯塔福鎮嗎 - 是全世界 - In Stepford? - In the world!
噢 她真是讓人難以置信 Oh! She's fabulous.
這一切 麥克 這些嬌妻 斯塔福鎮 All of this, Mike, the wives, Stepford,
都是你的主意嗎 this was all your idea?
是的 我想要的不過是一個更好的世界 Yes. All I wanted was a better world.
一個男人和女人 A world where men were men
相親相愛的世界 and women were cherished and lovely.
誰有螺絲刀啊 Does anyone have a screwdriver?
她瘋了 She's nuts.
一個浪漫又美麗的世界 A world of romance and beauty,
一個充滿晚禮服和雪紡綢緞的完美世界 of tuxedos and chiffon, a perfect world.
但你嫁的是一個機器人啊 But you were married to a robot.
他是完美的男人 The perfect man.
我想要的不過是把你們... And all I wanted was to make you, all of you...
變成完美的女人 Into perfect women.
我們不需要變得完美 We don't need to be perfect.
你怎麼能對我們做出這樣的事 How could you do this to us?
因為我以前也和你們一樣 Because I was just like you.
壓力過重 行程排滿 缺愛 Overstressed, overbooked, under-loved.
我曾經是世界上最優秀的腦外科醫生 I was the world's foremost brain surgeon
和遺傳工程學家 and genetic engineer.
與五角大樓 蘋果公司和美泰玩具生產商 I had top-secret contracts
都簽署了絕密協定 with the Pentagon, apple and mattel.
我被欲望所驅使 I was driven.
精疲力盡 Exhausted.
直到一天深夜裏 我回到家發現... Until late one night, I came home to find...
麥克 ...Mike.
和派特麗夏 With Patricia.
我那傑出的... My brilliant...
二十一歲 Blond...
碧眼金髮的研究助理 ...21-year-old research assistant.
那真的是太... It was all so...
醜陋了 ...ugly.
然後第二天一大早 Then early the next morning,
當我凝視著坐在早餐桌對面 as I gazed across the breakfast table
那兩具死氣沉沉的屍體時 我就在想... at their lifeless bodies, I thought...
"我到底做了什麼啊" "What have I done?"
但更重要的是... But more importantly...
我能做什麼去讓世界變得更好 What I could do to make the world more beautiful?
我有技術 I had the skills.
但我需要幫助 去實現我偉大的願景 But I needed help to realize my larger vision.
所以我就創造了... And so I made...
麥克 ...Mike.
因為他能使別的男人信服 Because he was someone other men would listen to.
然後我就問自己 And then I asked myself,
"什麼地方可以讓別人永遠都察覺不了滿鎮子的機器人 "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?
康乃迪克州" Connecticut."
所以我決定讓時光逆轉 So I decided to turn back the clock,
回到超時工作之前 to a time before overtime,
回到黃金時間之前 before quality time,
回到女人把自己變成工作機器之前 before women were turning themselves into robots.
- 退後 - 抱歉 - Back off! - Sorry.
但是你為什麼不把男人也改造了 But why didn't you change the men too?
那是下一步 That's next.
你瘋了 You're insane.
我愛上了一個充滿華爾滋舞曲的小鎮... I'm in love with a waltz and a town...
愛上了一個男人 ...and a man.
所以 瓊安娜 你創作了一部震撼人心的紀錄片 So, Joanna, you produced the hard-hitting documentary,
《斯塔福鎮:郊區的密碼》 Stepford: The secret of the suburbs.
然後... 還拿了五座艾美獎 對嗎 And won... Five emmys, was it?
噢 是六座 Oh, six.
- 她很害羞的 - 還很謙虛 - She's shy. - And so humble.
博比 你的痛苦經歷也讓你成為了暢銷書作者 And, Bobbie, your ordeal has lead to a bestseller.
你知道嗎 我不能總是懷恨在心 Well, you know, I just can't hold a grudge.
所以我創作了自己的第一本詩集 So I've written my very first book of poetry.
裏面的內容都是關於希望和溝通 And it's all about hope and communication
還有愛的治癒力量 and the healing power of love.
這本書的名字是 What is it called?
《待他睡著 就把他閹了》 Wait until he's asleep, then cut it off.
- 這是一本引人入勝的書 - 我都看哭了 - It's a page-Turner. - I cried.
羅傑 有好消息啊 Now, Roger, good news.
你參選勝出了 現在你是州議員了 You ran and won. You're in the State Senate.
- 無黨派人士 - 下一步 就是入主白宮 - Independent. - Next stop, the white house.
是的 這個國家需要亮點 Yes, this country needs highlights.
那才是我們的英雄 That's our hero.
還有 喬 沃爾特為你經歷了不少 And, Jo, Walter really came through for you,
你們的婚姻現在如何 一切都還完美嗎 so how's your marriage now? Is everything just, uh, perfect?
一點也不 不過... No way. But, um...
我們挺好的 But we're doing just great.
因為... Because, um...
因為現在我們都明確知道 Because now, now we know for sure
這跟完美無關 that it's not about perfection.
完美是沒用的 Perfect-- perfect doesn't work.
其他丈夫們現在情況如何 What about all those other husbands?
他們還是很憤怒嗎 Are they still angry?
他們還想要把妻子們都變成機器人嗎 Do they still want all these women to be robots?
當然了 男人都是豬 令人厭惡 Of course. Men are pigs. They're disgusting,
他們就是那些又膽小又讓人討厭的小型齧齒動物 they're frightened, repulsive little rodents.
不過我們正在幫助他們 But we're trying to help them,
- 對嗎 博比 - 沒錯 - right, Bobbie? - Right.
是的 我們正嘗試著重新教育他們 Yes, we're trying to reeducate them.
他們現在在哪 And where are they?
噢 他們還在斯塔福鎮 Oh. Oh, they're still in Stepford.
在軟禁中 Under house arrest.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, you guys.
絮有棉花紙巾在哪一條側廊 Which aisle is quilted paper towels?
如果買錯了 我老婆絕對會殺了我 If I don't get the right kind, my wife's gonna kill me.
噢 在第三條側廊 我需要... Oh, aisle three. And I need...
不許交談 繼續購物 no talking, keep shopping.