such a beautiful woman...
...and you arrest her...
...just for spitting?
ls there no justice?
ls there no law?
Commissioner is only your boss...
...because he paid his dues to the Crocodile Gang.
And you don't fucking know me?
sorry, l didn't know she was your wife.
Ugly coward!
What are you looking at? Never seen such a handsome gang boss?
Who'd be in the film business?
lt's sunday, and the theater's deserted.
Where's the car?.
Let's go back inside!
Call for help!
No need for that, Northerner.
While you were messing with the cop, your men signed up with us.
l'll kill all you Axe Gangsters!
stop! You forget the time l treated you to dinner.
Brother sum.
Please...
Please spare me.
Don't worry.
l don't kill women. You can go!
Thank you, Big Brother.
Cops! Come clean up the mess!
THE AXE GANG
ln a time of social unrest and disorder...
...the gangs have moved in to consolidate their power.
The most feared of them all is the Axe Gang.
Only in the poorest districts, which hold no interest for the gangs...
...can people live in peace.
PlG sTY ALLE Y
One, two, three!
- That okay, Coolie? - No problem!
TAlLOR
NOODLEs AND CONGEE
My check, please, Donut.
- How much? - lt's on the house!
Donut.
- lt's nothing. - l like you.
l'll ask the wife about lowering your rent.
Morning, Landlord!
Landlord!
Jill! How you've grown!
Come let me examine you!
Good to see you, Landlord!
What's so good about it?
Don't...!
Can you make the skirt slit higher?.
sure!
Look, a comet!
Jane! You naughty girl!
Landlord! You're such a scoundrel!
Don't go, Jane! stay and chat!
l'm only kidding. Jane!
Landlady!
What happened to the water?.
Water ain't free!
You talk a lot for someone who won't pay his rent.
But l'm in the middle of a shampoo.
You think that's a problem?
From now on, no water on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
Water ration Tuesdays, Thursdays and saturdays.
l just love hearing you fools complain. Assholes!
Good morning, Landlady!
Just pay your rent, or l'll burn your shop down.
What's so funny? Rent's no laughing matter, fairy!
serves you right you're a coolie!
Months overdue and not even a ''good morning.''
You'll be a coolie for life.
There you go, handsome!
What took you so long with the congee?
l stopped to help an old lady cross the street.
- What are you doing here? - Checking for Peeping Toms.
Was someone just spying on you, Auntie six?
Don't shoot your mouth off without proof.
she's crazy.
Go away!
Please can you teach us, sir?.
No more soccer!
- Who wants the cut? - My boss.
Take a seat.
Done! Fifty cents, please.
lsn't it great?
lt's too good!
Why'd you make him look so good?
Why?
Don't get mad, boss. He's my old buddy. l'll handle this.
He's boss of the Axe Gang. Don't you see the two axes? We're bad guys.
Making him look good is really bad. Understand?
- l didn't know. - You're a numskull!
But l like you, so just pay me, and l'll take care of it.
No way!
steady with the axe, boss. Let me talk to him.
l really care for you. You saw it for yourself. seriously.
Why don't you pay up. Not much. Enough for a drink.
Oh, so it's blackmail!
Boss!
Now you're dead!
Looks like he's waking up!
l'm not afraid.
You can kill me.
But there'll be thousands more of me!
You want to play tough? The Axe Gang boss is napping in there.
Whoever wants to die, step forward.
so you want to fight?
Great! We'll go one-on-one.
Don't even think about cheating.
That old woman with the onion!
You look real tough. Want to try me? l'll let you hit me first.
What do you do?
l'm a farmer.
Farmers don't fight. Piss off!
He's crazy!
Calling me names?
You're lucky you're a woman.
Hey, shorty! Yeah, you! lf you're short, you don't retort.
What did l say about cheating?
sit back down!
You! The geezer with the glasses. You look mean.
No, not you. l mean...
You!
Hey, kid, let's rumble!
All right, all right!
so no one-on-ones today.
You're all such wimps!
He blackmailed me.
Fat woman, you're in charge here, right?
Fat woman, my ass!
l'm with the Axe Gang!
Axe Gang, my ass!
Boss!
Boss, my ass!
- You have to pay our medical bills! - Bills, my ass!
- We're on the same side! - same side, my ass!
Think you're so tough? l'll call for backup!
You nitwit! Let's see you call backup!
You don't know the backup l have. l'm talking an army here.
Don't you go away! Go put a down payment on your coffin!
Who threw the firecracker?.
l'm one of you, brother.
Mind your own business!
lt's raining. Go bring in your laundry!
Fat woman!
You blackmailing me too? l ain't afraid.
l...
Did anyone see what happened?
Don't! My back's broken!
Call for help!
Hold on, calm down. You hungry?
Keep quiet.
No.
Who did this?
l'll count to three.
One...
...two...
l did it!
Are the goods okay, Brother sum?
sorry!
Look away, kid.
Get rid of him!
We're the bad guys!
We're meant to do the ass-kicking...
...not the other way around.
And it's all because these morons posed as Axes.
Don't waste your time, Brother sum.
We'll handle this.
You! Take care of it.
- Boy, can this guy pick locks. - lt's a living. Give me a break.
Pick that one too, if you're so good.
Come.
l'll count to three.
Hurry!
Ready? Three!
That's quick!
Brother sum, we really want to be Axes.
That's why we did what we did. Give us a chance.
Ever killed anyone?
l've always thought about it.
Then go kill someone.
l will!
Go on!
Thank you, Brother sum.
We can always find a use for that type.
l told you before, you've got to look tough.
Tougher!
Act the part.
And try to stay awake.
lt's tiring being tough.
Tiring? lt's our living!
The streets out there are filled with money and women.
You only need the will and determination...
...to seize the opportunity to win.
This is our big chance!
We just kill someone, and we're in the gang.
Then it'll be money and women all the way!
Don't be like those beggars...
...with no ambition.
Who are you looking at, four-eyes? l'll smash your glasses!
Get lost!
Come here and say that!
- You're really gonna kill someone? - That's right!
The four-eyes, the fat woman and all the residents of Pig sty.
But they're good at kung fu.
- l can do kung fu! - Oh, yeah?
Didn't l tell you l know Buddhist Palm kung fu?
Hey there, handsome boy. stop.
Amazing!
Do you know you have a special aura?
You're so young, but you have the bone structure...
and chi flow of a kung-fu genius.
lf your chi flow can be channeled, then you will be invincible!
Like the old saying: You cannot escape your destiny.
The duty of upholding world peace and punishing evil will be yours.
sure.
This is the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. lt's priceless.
But as it's fate, l'll let you have it for $ 10.
BUDDHlsT PALM MANUAL
- You gave him your life savings? - Yes.
l was saving to study to be a doctor or lawyer...
...but this was world peace.
Let go of the girl!
Hey! lt's the Buddhist Palm!
''The 20-Cent Kung Fu Manual.''
You must be loaded.
Have you killed anyone lately?
He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers!
l realized then that good guys never win. l want to be bad.
l want to be the killer!
- lce cream! - Where?
Make mine a vanilla.
Chocolate for me!
What're you looking at? Never seen free ice cream before?
Look at her run!
You're such kung-fu masters, go take it on the road.
You belong in the circus, not here!
Don't say that, Landlady. There must be a reason they're here.
Everyone has his reasons.
We don't want to make trouble.
l'm glad you get it. The mob's mad at us.
We'll never hear the end of it. Why don't you get lost!
Your wife shouldn't be so nasty.
You okay?
Masters.
We have nothing precious to give you...
...but take this as a token of our appreciation.
Thanks for saving us!
stop the crying. This isn't a show!
- You're so cold-hearted. - Talking back to me, eh?
You may know kung fu, but you're still a fairy.
lt's no crime to be good at kung fu!
Once a fairy, always a fairy.
Look at you. What's with the red underwear?.
Why not a diaper while you're at it.
What's wrong with red underwear?.
Where were you when there was trouble?
lf it weren't for them, we'd be finished. Be reasonable!
l'll reason with you.
You owe me three months' rent. That's $90.
Pay up or pack up!
Don't you worry. l'll pay it.
Think you're a smartass, Rabbit-Tooth Jane?
What's it to you, tub of lard?
Bitch!
Calm down, Landlady.
This is your fault.
- Are you trying to kill us? - You're right.
How could you do that?
shut the hell up!
You think you can out-yell me?
The fat lady can really sing.
Watch this!
What happened?
What do you mean, what happened? You try it.
- Me? - Quick!
sorry! You okay?
l think you should get closer and take better aim. Okay?
Okay!
- Who's throwing the handles? - Handle?
Where's the third knife?
God knows where it went.
Could it be the same one? Can't be...
- Don't! - sorry.
What are you trying to say?
l just remembered l have something to do. see you!
Uh-oh. They've seen us!
stay back!
Don't panic! snakes like music. lf l whistle, they won't bite.
Please, no more bright ideas.
Oh, what the hell!
Not you again, asshole!
Get back to your business!
split up!
split?
What're you doing here?
Looking for you. Weren't you hurt?
l'm fine!
How come you always recover so fast?
l don't know.
- Which hospital did you go to? - Don't remember.
Maybe it's better that way.
Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing!
l never knew you were so deep.
All the sadness one can bear...
...down the river everywhere.
Hey, get out of the way!
Move!
l'll slap you to kingdom come!
Look at those four-eyes carting around a coffin.
What morons!
Don't blame me for making you leave.
We'll let Buddha decide...
...whether you stay...
...or go.
HORRlFlCALLY BAD FATE
Have some tea.
We're grateful for some professional help.
We understand the problem. Twelve Kicks from the Tam school...
...lron Fist from the Hung school and the Hexagon staff...
Those guys at Pig sty are really good.
Their warrior days are long over...
...but they're still top fighters.
This job is a great challenge for us.
Now, that's professionalism.
Number One Killers. Expensive, yes, but worth every penny!
No!
Number one is the Beast, the world's top killer.
He was so dedicated to kung fu, he went crazy.
l heard he's now in an asylum.
so you're the top killers now.
strictly speaking, we're just musicians.
A song that wrenches the heart O where do l find a knowing ear?.
Great poem, isn't it?
We'll be saying goodbye soon.
Who knows when we'll see each other again.
We're three of a kind. Wish we'd known before.
Let's take this opportunity to spar a little.
No. We still have a lot to pack.
You're right.
Twelve Kicks of the Tam school! superb attack and defense!
lron Fist: powerful yet delicate. Topnotch!
Hexagon staff, with its thousand moves. Mystical!
Till we meet again!
More lipstick!
stay there, or l'll break you in half.
sorry, we're closed.
You can make a suit in no time.
We're moving.
This is good material!
You know your stuff.
This has high artistic value.
How high?
At least a few stories...
lnsulting the Axe Gang! We'll show them.
Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel.
Don't block my view!
What's going on?
Good!
Don't block my view!
Damn! l told those nitwits to leave, but they're still here.
- Really? - Yeah.
What the hell is this fighting? Who'll pay for the damage?
sorry, sorry. lt's nothing!
You know what time it is? l have to sleep.
Hey, fatso, eat shit and die!
Die? ln this racket?
sorry, sorry!
Get out of my way!
Hang in there, Tailor.