嘿 Berta 你是怎么洗我短裤的? ***shing my underwear?
就像我做每件事一样\n嘴上哼着小曲儿 心中充满爱 Like I do everything else around here--\nwith a song on my lips and love in my heart.
我是说真的 I'm serious.
我出疹子了 私密部位 I got a rash in my,\nyou know, private area.
私密? Private?
那边交通再繁忙下去\n你就得开家星巴克了 You get any more traffic down there,\nyou're gonna have to open a starbucks.
我在想 你是不是换了洗衣皂 Well, I thought maybe\nyou'd changed laundry soap,
那儿通红通红 还痒的要命\n尤其是... 'cause it's all red and itchy\nespecially right around my...
拜托 excuse me.
我正吃早餐的香肠呢 I'm sitting here eating\na breakfast sausage.
又不是香肠的问题 It's not a sausage problem.
更准确的说 是肉球的区域 It's more in the meatball area.
紧邻肉球的地方 Kind of meatball adjacent.
肯定是汗屁股 Bet it's swamp ass.
啥叫汗屁股? What's swamp ass?
别担心 得了汗屁股 你就明白了 Don't worry.You'd know\nif you had swamp ass.
最讨厌汗屁股了 I hate swamp ass.
你确定 只是出疹子? You sure it's just a rash?
还会是什么? What else could it be?
既然说的是你的私密部位 Well, since we're talking\nabout your private area,
那就啥都可能\n埃博拉病毒啊 疯牛病啊 it could anything from\nebola to mad cow disease.
猴子能传染埃博拉病毒 对吧? You get ebola from monkeys, right?
对 Right.
只不过是疹子罢了 It's just a rash.
学校里有个孩子得了汗屁股\n猫在他身后跟了一年 A kid at school got swamp ass.Cats\nfollowed him around for a year.
得了 还是忘了吧 You know what?Let's\njust forget about it.
喔 那也得忘的掉 Oh, if only we could.
说起学校 咱们马上要迎来大日子了 Speaking of school, we've\ngot a big day ahead of us.
得去买日用品 衣服 We've got to go shopping\nfor supplies, clothes.
话题转移的不错 老爸 Nice segue, dad.
话题巴不得想转移呢 Well, the subject was\ncrying out for change.
不管怎么说 你要去新学校了 Anyway, you're starting a new school.
需要新东西嘛 You're gonna need new stuff.
等等 西瓜头升上初中了? Wait a sec.Melonhead\nmade it into junior high?
对 Yes.
暑期学校考试合格了? So you passed summer school?
差不多吧 Sort of.
什么叫"差不多"? What do you mean, "sort of"?
他们说 要是我继续读初中\n对大家都有好处 They said it was in everyone's\nbest interest if I moved on.
那算什么意思? What's that supposed to mean?
他们提拔他呀 It means they promoted him.
他就要上初中了 问啥都没有意义 He's starting junior high, and there's absolutely\nnothing to be gained in asking how or why.
行 管它呢\n真为你骄傲 小子 Okay, well, whatever.I'm\nproud of you, man.
骄傲啥? For what?
我也不知道\n一直撑到大伙儿都讨厌你 I don't know.Hanging in there\nuntil they were sick of you.
谢了 Thanks.
嗯... 初中 哈? So...junior high, huh?
倒是有很多美好回忆啊 对吧 Alan? Boy, that brings back some\nmemories, doesn't it, alan?
拜托能别往下说了吗? Can we please not go down that road?
到底是什么事儿? What happened?
只不过是... It's just that...
中学里的孩子喜欢批评人 kids in junior high can\nbe a little judgmental.
尤其是被搞大肚子以后 Especially if you're knocked up.
谢谢噢 Berta Thank you, berta.
当然了 从好的方面来看\n大肚子的妞儿 就用不着上体育课了 Of course, on the up side, pregnant\nchicks didn't have to go to gym.
就不体谅体谅\n搞大她们肚子的家伙? Did the guys who got 'em\npregnant got any considerations?
不行 想也别想 No, not even a hall pass.
咱们到底说完没有? Are we quite done?
你会明白的 事情会一切顺利\n只需要记住几件事儿 You'll see.Things will go great for\nyou.You just have to remember a few things.
比如? Like what?
嗯 Well...
把午餐钱藏在鞋子里\n但口袋里也得放几个子儿 always keep your lunch money in your shoe\nbut have some spare change in your pocket.
- 此话怎讲?\n- 当作诱饵嘛 - How come?\n- Decoy money.
他们不拿到点什么\n是不会罢休的 They won't stop hitting\nyou till they get something.
"他们"是谁? Who are "they"?
那些大孩子\n会拎着你脚踝 把你的头摁到厕所里 The big kids holding you by your ankles\nand plunging your head in the toilet.
把我的头摁到厕所里? Plungingy head in the toilet?
别 别 别吓坏孩子了 Alan Don't, don't, don't, don't\nfreak the kid out, alan.
不算是摁 也就是浸一下 It's not so much plunging as dipping.
你得这么办 Here's what you do.
跟看门人搞好关系 Make friends with the janitor.
他们都有单独卫生间 They usually have their own bathroom.
好吧 Okay.
就是千万别喝他水壶里的东西 Just never drink out of his thermos.
明白 All right.
要是他说他爱你\n千万别信 And don't believe him if\nhe tells you he loves you.
该死 真怀念那个独眼儿杂种 Damn it, I miss that\none-eyed son of a bitch.
对了 要是上完体育课要洗澡 Oh, oh, and if you have\nto shower after gym class,
记住 穿着短裤洗 也不是那么丢人 remember, there is no shame in\nkeeping your jockey shorts on.
真的? Really?
好吧 是有点丢人 Okay, there's a little shame.
不过关键是\n大伙儿就不会叫你"缩小的鸡鸡"了 But the important thing is the fellows\nwon't be calling you "shrinky dink.
"缩小的鸡鸡"? " Shrinky dink?
不鸣则矣 一鸣惊人 I'm a grower, not a shower.
噢 我差点忘了 Oh, I almost forgot.
我给你买了个小礼物 I got you a little present.
你的私人手机哦 Your very own cell phone.
好棒 Oh, cool.
重要的是要记住 这不是玩具 The important thing to\nremember is this is not a toy.
只能在紧急情况下使用 It's to use in emergencies only.
紧急情况 什么紧急情况? Emergencies?What emergencies?
爸爸 快来救我! Dad, come get me!
我被关在我的储物柜里了\n内裤也湿了! I'm stuffed in my locker\nand my underwear is wet!
那种情况就发生过一次 That only happened once.
如果不是那些缉毒犬找到了你\n你就把感恩节错过了 If that drug-sniffing dog hadn't found\nyou, you'd have missed thanksgiving.
缉毒犬? Drug-sniffing dog?
没有 没有毒品 There were no, there were no drugs.
没错 是因为那些狗对尿味也很敏感 That's true.Turns out those\ndogs are also sensitive to urine.
我在那里呆了五个小时 I was in there for five hours.
五个小时? Five hours?
但你不需要担心这个 But you don't have to worry about that.
你有手机 You have a cell phone.
你应该把手机藏在\n战俘藏手表的地方 Which you should hide where\nprisoners of war hid their watches.
- 在哪里?\n- 还没说完 - Where was that?\n- Moving on.
我已经设置好了 I've pre-programmed the phone.
快速拨号1是我\n2是医务室 Speed dial one is me, speed\ndial two is the nurse's office,
3则是警察 and speed dial three is the police.
警察? 要来干嘛? The police?What for?
到时你就知道了 You'll know it when it happens.
关于种族骚动 Now, about race riots.
要保持中立 Try not to taksie des.
要是有人问起\n你就说自己是黑白混血 If anybody asks, you're mulatto.
感觉如何? how do they feel?
还行 但好丑\n像老人鞋 Okay, but they're ugly.They\nlook likeold people shoes.
这不是老人鞋\n是步行鞋 They're not old people\nshoes.They're walking shoes.
没错 对于一个步行85年的人来说\n的确如此 Right, for peoplewho've\nbeen walking over 85 years.
我想要这对\n这对酷 I'd rather get these.These are cool.
听着Jake\n高中生买鞋不讲究酷和流行 Listen, jake,junior high is\nnot about being cool or popular.
而是讲究会否因其而被敲诈 It's about not getting\nmugged for your sneakers.
我会因穿着的鞋而被敲诈? I can get mugged for my sneakers?
这对就不会 Not those sneakers.
要是你再拄根拐杖走在贫民窟\n就不一定了 No, not unless you go walking by an assisted\nliving facility in a rough neighborhood.
你干什么? What are you doing?
对不起 这皮疹痒死了 Sorry, this rash is driving me crazy.
穿这对很傻 I feel stupid in these.
当高年级孩子把你光脚丫绑在旗杆\n上吐口水时 Better to feel stupid than\nto betied to flagpole barefoot
你会觉得更傻 while upperclassmen\nuse you as a spittoon.
我不要被绑在旗杆上 I don't want to be tied to a flagpole.
你不会的 只要你穿着这对丑鞋\n还有吃饭时别坐错桌子就对了 You won't be.Just wear the ugly shoes\nand don't sit at the wrong lunch table.
坐错桌子? Wrong table?
我怎么知道有没坐错? How will I know if it's the wrong table?
看来你要被绑在旗杆上了\n对吗 Alan? You'll be tied to a\nflagpole, right, alan?
只是一次而已 That also only happened once.
看看合不合适 Let's just check the fit.
很好\n足够用来藏午饭钱 Ooh, good. Plenty of\nroom for lunch money.
为什么校服一定要米黄色? how come all my school\nclothes have to beige?
因为现在已知的黑帮\n没有一个是穿米黄色的 Because beige is not the\ncolor of any known gang.
没错\n你不会被错当作是瘸子或血块 Right, so instead of being\nmistaken for a crip or a blood,
但会被误认为一块巨型邦迪 you'll be mistaken for\na very large band-aid.
至少贴邦迪不会痛\n(被打会痛) Hey, band-aids are ouchless.
对不起 不好意思\n请排队 Oh, oh, excuse me,excuse\nme. There's a line.
我知道\n我只是买了两件东西 Yeah, I just got a couple things.
我看得见\n但这似乎不是数量问题 Well, I can see that, but it's not\nreally based on quantity of items.
而是"我们先来"的问题 It's more of a\nwe-were-here-before-you kind of deal.
你准备采取什么行动吗? you gonna make a thing out of this?
也没有什么行动 There's no thing.
我只是遵守秩序\n要是每个人都能这样不是很好吗? I'm just, uh, just playing by the rules and\nwouldn't it be nice if everybody did the same?
拿着 小滑头 Hang onto this, slick.
你能再给我说说那些秩序吗 SB? Now, you want to explain\nthose rules again, jughead?
要是你真的那么急\n我就让你好了 You know what?If you're in such a big\nhurry, why don't you just go ahead?
谢谢 Thank you.
搞什么鬼? What the hell are you doing?
没什么\n给 Nothing.Here.
***\n***
我不是胆小 这是起码社会公德\n暴力解决不了问题 no, no, not chicken, just good common\nsense.Fighting accomplishes nothing.
我真不知道你原来那么绅士 Oh, I didn't know you were so french.
- 嘿\n- 嘿 Julie - Hey.\n- Oh, hey, julie.
你怎会认识我老婆? how do you know my wife?
什么? 不 不 不\n我...我不认识她 What?Oh, no, no,\nno.I-I-I don't know her.
你说 "嘿 Julie" You said, "hey, julie.
不...不\n我...我打喷嚏而已 " N-no, no.I-I-I\nsneezed.Ay...chooie!
- 为你的健康干杯!\n(德语祝酒辞 对打喷嚏的人祝愿)\n- 谢谢 - Gesundheit.\n- Thank you.
看 这边也可以结帐\n走吧 走吧 走吧 Oh, look, another cashier opened\nup.Let's go, let's go, let's go.
但妈妈说我可以自己等公车 but mom said I could wait\nfor the bus by myself.
我知道 I know.
我真的一个人就好了 I would really rather\nwait for the bus by myself.
我只是想确保你平安出发 I just want to make\nsure you get off okay.
但是由爸爸叔叔送去坐公车? Yeah, but being walked to the\nbus stop by my dad and my uncle?
我会显得很逊 I'm gonna look so lame.
Jake 伙计\n覆水难收了 Jake, buddy, that ship has sailed.
拜托别走 please don't leave me.
没事的 You're okay.
避免眼神接触 Just don't make eye contact.
车来时\n不要靠窗坐 Okay, when the bus comes,\ndon't take a window seat.
不然就要被某个二流子\n逼在角落里猛揍 You don't want to be trapped by one of\nthese mouth-breathers and get pummeled.
- 猛揍?\n- 还有对司机要礼貌 - Pummeled?\n- And be polite to the bus driver.
他们一点火就会受刺激变脸成恶人 They tend to be damaged\npeople with short fuses.
点火? Fuses?
别瞎指点他 Don't distract him.
这些旧公车上没安全带 There's no seatbelts on these old buses.
一个急转 里面的小孩会像\n摇奖机里的球一样飞起来 One sharp turn, and all you kids will\nbe flying around like lotto balls.
球? Balls?
对了 等等... oh, uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- 笑一个\n- 为什么而笑? - Smile.\n- About what?
你要是弄丢了\n我需要一张近照 I need a current picture\nin case you go missing.
Alan 你太夸张了 Alan, you're being ridiculous.
丢了的孩子从来没被找回过 They never find those kids.
侧面来张 Give me a profile.
好了 开开心心上学去吧 Okay, now go and make it a great day.
玩开心点 Have fun.
我只是希望一切按部就班 I just hope everything\nturns out all right.
我们已经尽力了 Well, we've done all we could.
现在看他了 Now it's up to him.
好的 好的\n你告诉医生假设我是一棵树 okay, okay, tell the\ndoctor that if I was a tree,
那么皮疹已经攻占了\n布满毛苔的树干部分 the rash is predominantly\naround the mossy trunk area.
而且附近的鹅卵石\n貌似也开始发红 But I'm starting to see some\nredness on the adjacent boulders.
不会吧从"树"到"鹅卵石" Oh, come on.E?"Tre two boulders"?
你哪不明白? What part don't you understand?
- 你好\n- 你好 - Hey.\n- Hey.
好吧 让他给我打电话 Okay, just have him call me.
- Jake来电话了吗?\n- 没有 - Heard from jake?\n- Nope.
那我打去他妈家吧\n问问他今天在学校怎样 I'll call him at his\nmom'S.See how school went.
Alan 你看这像感染了吗? Alan, does this look infected to you?
什么? 啊! What?Oh!
滚一边去! Get that away from me!
又不是让你用手抓\n帮我看看嘛 I'm not asking you to\ntickle it, just take a look.
不 多谢你了 No, thank you.
你是医生啊 But you're a doctor.
我是指压按摩师 I'm a chiropractor.
我只管治椎骨的毛病 I work with vertebrae.
而跟流行的说法正相反\n阴茎里面是没有骨头的! And contrary to popular belief,\nthere's not a single bone in the penis.
你好 Judith. Oh, hi, judith.
没什么 我刚刚在跟Charlie说话 Uh, n-nothing.I was\njust talking to charlie.
Jake放学回家了吗? Hey, hey, is jake home from school yet?
还没有? 好吧 我就想问\n他第一天上学情况如何 No?Oh, okay.Well, I was just\nwondering how his first day went.
让他给我回电 好吗? Have him call me, okay?
谢谢 再见 Thanks.Bye-bye.
希望他午饭时间没\n躲到体育场看台下面 I hope he didn't wander under\nthe bleachers during lunch hour.
不会啦 他没那么蠢吧 Nah, he's smarter than that.
没那么蠢? Smart?
Charlie 他能小学毕业\n只是因为个子大了坐不进课桌 Charlie, he only got out of sixth grade\nbecause he couldn't fit in the desks anymore.
你那么担心 就打他手机好了 Well, if you're that concerned,\njust call him on his cell.
好主意 Good idea.
uh, jake?
Jake 你在哪? Jake, where are you?
噢 你还在校车上? Oh, you're still on the bus.
有趣 我听不到其他孩子的声音呢 Funny.I don't hear the other kids.
是啊 今天很辛苦\n大家都累了嘛 Oh, yeah, it was a tough\nday.Everybody's tired.
真的啊 No kidding.
爸爸 这手机只能用于紧急情况 Dad, this phone is for emergencies only.
你为什么没在妈妈家? Why aren't you at your mother's?
我坐车到了学校\n上了另一辆巴士 坐回来了 I got off the bus at school,\ngot on another bus and came here.
你今天就没去上学? So you've never been to school today?
当然没去! Of course not!
我不想被关在储物柜里\n被绑在旗杆上或被塞进马桶里! I don't want to be stuffed in a locker,\ntied to a flagpole or dunked in a toilet!
不是塞进 "浸湿"而已 Not dunked.Dipped.
你的新鞋呢? And where are your new sneakers?
卖给校车司机了 I sold them to the bus driver.
Charlie 我能跟你谈谈吗? Charlie, can I talk to you for a minute?
那是我的漫画吗? Are those my comics?
Charlie!
那都是9.9成新的!\n被他弄了堆鼻屎上去! They're near mint, and he\nwipes his boogers all over them.
他一整天都在家\n你都不知道? He was here all day,\nand you didn't know?
我起疹子了 Hey, I've got a rash.
我不敢相信\n他第一天上学就翘课了 I can't believe he cut\nschool on his first day.
仔细想想 这么做挺聪明 Well, when you think about\nit, it's pretty smart.
学校可能会认为\n是学生名单打错了 As far as the school is\nconcerned, he might just be a typo.
Charlie 问题是他为什么要逃学? Charlie, the question\nis, why did he cut school?
很简单 Oh, that's easy.
因为你把他吓坏了\n还让他穿的像裹在绷带里一样 He cut 'cause you scared the crap out of\nhim and dressed him like an ace bandage.
我只是想帮他作好准备 I was just trying to prepare him.
为什么做准备?一辈子东躲西藏? For what?A life of running and hiding?
不 让他学会融入人群\n如果被发现了 再东躲西藏 No, no.A life of blending in, and only\nif they see you, running and hiding.
Alan 上帝在分配勇气给众人时 Face it, alan, when the good\nlord was handing out courage,
你缩在储物柜里\n尿湿了自己的袜子! you were crouched in a locker\npeeing on your gym socks.
首先 那天午餐我喝了三罐碳酸饮料 Okay, first of all, I had\nhad three mr.Pibbs at lunch.
其次 我不是个懦夫! And secondly, i am not a coward.
的了吧 公路上的猫都比你神经坚韧 Come on, I've seen steelier\nnerves from a cat on the freeway.
荒谬 That's ridiculous.
哇! ***
我没准备好!这不公平! okay, I was not ready,\nand that was not fair.
你自己呢? And-and what about you?
我怎么了? What about me?
你什么都怕 You're afraid of everything.
例如? Like what?
数一下啊 Well, let's see.
细菌 变化 承诺\n在水底睁眼 Germs, change, commitment,\nopening your eyes under water,
愤怒的丈夫 发彪的前女友\n大鸟 蜘蛛 还有妈妈 angry husbands, angry ex-girlfriends,\nlarge birds, spiders and mom.
等等 Hold on.
等会 Hold on a sec.
我不怕在水下睁眼 I am not afraid to open\nmy eyes under water.
我只是对氯敏感 I'm just sensitive to chlorine.
可不是 Right.
还有 我只怕屋里的鸟 And for the record, it's\njust when birds get indoors.
我不怕天上的 In the sky, I got no problem.
很好 你就不承认吧 Fine, fine.Live in denial.
我要去跟我的小孩讲明事理了 I'm gonna try and straighten my kid out.
还有 哪个正常人不怕蜘蛛啊? And what sane person is\nnot afraid of spiders?
是我的错\n跟你说了一大堆 what I'm trying to say is that\nit was wrong to fill your head
如何在学校里躲过可怕的事情 with a lot of horrible\nthings to avoid at school.
实际上 那是根本逃不掉的 'Cause the truth is, you\ncan't avoid any of them.
Charlie...
你不想他一辈子担惊受怕吧? you don't want him living\nhis life in fear, right?
是的 但是... Well, yeah, but...
生活中总会有吓人的事情发生 well, scary things happen in life.
他可以向你一样逃避... And he can either hide\nfrom them like you...
- 像我们一样\n- 别碎碎念了 - like us.\n- Don't nitpick.
或者你可以勇敢的面对它们 Or you can stand up to them.
被人一拳打在脸上可能会痛\n但你知道什么更痛? I mean, look, getting hit in the fe\nachurts, but you know what hurts more?
一脚踢在弟弟上? A kick in the crotch?
嗯 当然了 Well, yeah, sure.
我那被橄榄球击中过 I took a soccer ball to the nads once.
疼得眼珠都快掉出来了 Thought my eyes were gonna pop out.
对 但那种疼痛会过去 Yeah, but that pain passes.
而逃避带来的耻辱会一直延续下去 What hurts more and lasts longer than\nanything is the humiliation of running away.
一周都不能骑自行车 Couldn't ride my bike for a week.
Jake 我觉得你没明白我们的意思 Jake, jake, I think\nyou're missing the point.
我甚至怀疑长那话儿干啥 Makes you wonder what they're doing\nhanging down there in the first place.
我觉得 Charlie叔叔想说的是 Now, what I think uncle charlie\nis trying to say is that,
没错 你可能被打 你可能被锁在储物柜里\n但是 你知道吗 yeah, you might get hit, you might get\nstuffed in a locker, but you know what?
你总能挺过来 You'll survive.
可能会有淤伤 可能会流血\n可能会少几颗牙 但是... You may get bruised, you may bleed,\nyou may lose a few teeth, but...
你会获得自尊 you'll have your self-respect.
没错 Exactly.
你们怎么克服害怕? How do you stop being afraid?
我喝酒 Well, I drink.
但我直到九年级才开始喝 But I didn't start till ninth grade.
是的 Judith\n他一直在Charlie那里 yeah, judith, he was at\ncharlie's the whole time.
哦 他说他害怕 不敢去上学 Well, he said he was too\nscared to go to school.
我怎么知道他为什么这么害怕 How should I know why he's so scared?
可能是你保护过度了 Maybe you're overprotective.
说得好 Good one.
我知道你是好意 I-I know you mean well.
好的 我们一会儿就到 All right, we'll be\nthere in a few minutes.
好 再见 Okay.Bye-bye.
听见了吗? Did you hear that?
是的 是妈妈的错 Yeah, it's mom's fault.
好孩子 Attaboy.
快点儿 绿灯了 走啊 Come on.It's green.Let's go.
这个人怎么回事儿? what's the matter with this guy?
看起来他要过来告诉你 looks like he's coming to tell you.
锁门 锁门 Lock your doors!Lock your doors!
等等 不 等一下 Wait, wait, no, no, wait.
我受够了逃跑和躲藏\n你受够了逃跑和躲藏了吗? I am tired of running and hiding.Are\nyou tired of running and hiding?
是的 Yes, I am.
记住 Jake\n勇气 不代表不害怕 Remember, jake, courage\nis not the absence of fear.
而是 尽管害怕 还是要采取行动 It's taking action despite fear.
说的没错 That's very true.
我们行动吧 Let's do this.
紧随你后边 Right behind you.
两个打一个 不太公平 Two against one wouldn't be fair.
现在 这才叫勇气 now, that's courage.
你不为他感到骄傲吗? Aren't you proud of him?
你带手机了吗? you got your cell phone?
那是紧急状况下才用的 It's only for emergencies.
救救我 help me.
我觉得目前符合情况 I think this qualifies.
Charlie Charlie\nCharlie Charlie Charlie
喂? hello?
救救我 Charlie! help me, charlie!
你是个坏兄弟 you are a bad brother.
我真的以为你能打败他 I really thought you had him.
好了 Harper先生 尽量不要打喷嚏\n会爆线的 Okay, mr.Harper, try not to sneeze.You'll\nblow those st rchesitight out.
谢谢你 医生 Thank you, doctor.
嗨 医生 Hey, doc?
既然我已经来这儿了\n我给你看点儿东西 While I got you here,\nlet me show you something.
哦 我的天 你的小弟弟全都红了 Oh my goodness, your\nlittle jimmy is all crimson.
是的 你觉得是怎么回事儿? Yeah.What do you think?
哦 看起来像是过敏反应 Well, it, uh, looks like\nan allergic reaction.
你给你的生殖器涂过什么东西吗? Have you been applying\nanything to your genital region?
就是普通的\n女服务生们和女演员们 Just the usual--\nwaitresses and actresses.
哦 等等\n希腊配方(染发剂)算吗? Oh wait, wait.Does\ngrecian formula count?
希腊配方? Grecian formula?
你打算把你阴毛的灰色盖住? You tried to get the gray\nout of your pubic hair?
哦 我本想在周围留一点点银色的 Well, I wanted to leave a\nlittle silver around the sides.
你知道 看起来比较特别 You know, look distinguished.
特别 有意思 Distinguished?That's interesting.
我们国家有一种说法 We have a saying in my country.
你可以给山羊穿上晚礼服\n可它仍旧是山羊 "You can put a tuxedo on a\ngoat, but it is still a goat.
没错 我们国家也有一种说法 " Yeah, well, we have a\nsaying in my country, too.
帮帮我 我的蛋蛋都快着火了 "Help me, my balls are on fire.
好吧 我给你拿点儿药膏 " Okay, I'll get you some salve.
怎么样? How about that?
过敏反应\n没什么好害怕的 Allergic reaction,\nnothing to be scared of.
皆大欢喜 是吧? All's well that ends well, right?
他们给你什么止痛药了? What'd they give you for the pain?
啊 你可幸运 Ah, you lucky bastard.
真希望我的蛋蛋更疼点儿 Wish my balls hurt more.