[The Ronettes' "Be My Baby" playing throughout]
[radio announcer] Hi, everybody. This is your Cousin Brucie.
Whoa! Our summer romances are in full bloom,
and everybody but everybody is in love,
so here's a great song from The Four Seasons.
["Big Girls Don't Cry" playing]
[Baby] That was the summer of 1903,
when everybody called me Baby,
and it didn't occur to me to mind.
That was before president Kennedy was shot,
before The Beatles came,
when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps,
and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my Dad.
["Big Girls Don't Cry" continues playing]
That was the summer we went to Kellerman's.
♪♪
[Stan on bullhorn] Ping-pong in the west arcade, softball on the east diamond.
All you Sandy Koufaxes, get out there!
Complimentary dance lessons in the gazebo.
Oh, my God. Look at that!
Mom, I should've brought the coral shoes. You said I was taking too much.
Well, sweetheart, you brought ten pairs.
But the coral shoes matched that dress.
This is not a tragedy.
A tragedy is three men trapped in a mine
or police dogs used in Birmingham.
Monks burning themselves in protest.
Butt out, Baby.
Okay, we got horseshoes on the south lawn in 1 5 minutes!
We've got "Splish-Splash," the water class, down by the lake.
We have the still life art class, we got volleyball and croquet.
And for you older folks, we got sacks!
[laughs] Gotcha.
Doc!
Max!
Well, Doc, after all these years I finally got you up on my mountain.
[chuckles] So how's the blood pressure, Max?
I want you girls to know if it were not for this man,
I'd be standing here dead.
- Billy, get the bags. - Right away, Doc. Right away.
I kept the best cabin for you and your beautiful girls.
Hey, thanks a lot.
You want a job here?
There's a merengue class in the gazebo in the next few minutes,
the greatest teacher. Used to be a Rockette.
It's his first real vacation in six years, Max. Take it easy.
Three weeks here, it'll feel like a year.
One, two, three, four!
Stomp those grapes and stomp some more!
One, two, three, four! Listen to the music!
- One, two, three... - Sorry.
Move your caboose and shake it loose!
One, two, three, four! Stomp those grapes!
Whoo!
[merengue music playing]
Now come on, men! Follow me into a round robin!
Ladies, the inner circle!
[woman laughing]
Oh, come on, ladies!
God wouldn't have given you maracas
if he didn't want you to shake them!
Okay now, ladies, when I say "stop,"
you're gonna find the man of your dreams.
Stop!
Now remember, he's the boss on the dance floor, if nowhere else.
[laughter]
[crickets chirping]
Mom, Dad, I'm going up to the main house to look around.
♪♪
[Max] There are two kinds of help here.
You waiters are all college guys,
and I went to Harvard and Yale to hire you.
And why did I do that? Why?
I shouldn't have to remind you. This is a family place.
That means you keep your fingers out of the water,
your hair out of the soup, and show the goddamn daughters a good time.
All the daughters.
Even the dogs.
Schlepp 'em out to the terrace, show 'em the stars.
- Romance 'em any way you want. - Got that, guys?
The thing to do-- Hey, hold it! Hold it.
Well, if it isn't the entertainment staff.
Listen, wise ass, you got your own rules.
Dance with the daughters.
Teach 'em the mambo, the cha-cha, anything they pay for.
But that's it. That's where it ends.
No funny business, no conversations, and keep your hands off!
It's the same at all these places.
Some ass in the woods, maybe, but no conversation.
- [waiters laugh] - Watch it, Rodriguez.
You think you can keep that straight, Johnny?
What you can and can't lay your hands on?
- [light laugh] - [sighs]
You just put your pickle on everybody's plate, college boy,
and leave the hard stuff to me.
[guys] Whoa.
Sit down, sit down and I'll get you some wine.
Thank you, Max.
Ah...
This is Dr. and Mrs. Houseman.
Baby, Lisa, this is your waiter, Robbie Gould.
- Yale medical school. - Uh-huh.
Robbie, these people are my special guests. Get them anything they want.
- Enjoy. - Thanks, Max.
Oh, look at all this leftover food.
Are there still starving children in Europe?
- Try Southeast Asia, Ma. - Oh, right.
Robbie, Baby wants to send her leftover pot roast to Southeast Asia,
so anything we don't finish, you wrap up.
Max, our Baby's gonna change the world.
- And what are you gonna do, missy? - Lisa's gonna decorate it.
She already does.
Doc, I want you to meet someone. My grandson Neil.
Goes to the Cornell School of Hotel Management.
Baby's starting Mount Holyoke in the fall.
Oh, great.
♪♪
Are you going to major in English?
No. Economics of underdeveloped countries.
- I'm going into the Peace Corps. - After the final show,
I'm going to Mississippi with a couple of busboys, freedom ride.
[shoes clicking]
♪♪
[Max] This is our own Tito Suarez.
[applause]
♪♪
[new song begins]
Mambo! Yeah! Come on!
Who's that?
Oh, them. They're the dance people.
They're here to keep the guests happy.
♪♪
They shouldn't be showing off with each other.
That's not gonna sell lessons.
- [woman] Wow! - [people murmuring]
[mouthing] Cut!
♪♪
- Hi, kids. Having fun? - Yeah.
Actually, I've gotta excuse myself.
I'm in charge of the games tonight.
Say, would you like to help me get things started?
[Jake] Sure she would.
[laughing]
[sawing]
This'll only hurt for a minute. You've got Blue Cross, right?
[laughter continues]
[drum roll]
[fanfare plays]
- [applause] - Was that good for you?
And for being such a good sport, here you go!
- [people laughing] - [music playing]
You know, I finally met a girl exactly like my mother.
Dresses like her, acts like her. So I brought her home.
My father doesn't like her! [laughing]
Go figure.
[distant laughter and applause]
["Where Are You Tonight" by Mark Scola playing distantly]
[music volume increases]
- Hi. - How'd you get here?
- I was taking a walk. - Go back.
- Let me help you. - No.
- What's up there? - No guests allowed. House rules.
Why don't you go back to the playhouse?
I saw you dancing with the little boss man.
[hums mockingly]
Can you keep a secret?
Your parents would kill you.
Max would kill me.
["Do You Love Me" by The Contours playing throughout]
Where'd they learn to do that?
Where?
I don't know. Kids are doing it in their basements back home.
Wanna try it?
Come on, Baby.
["Do You Love Me" continues playing]
Can you imagine dancing like this on the main floor,
home of the family fox-trot?
Max would close the place down first.
[all cheering]
♪♪
That's my cousin, Johnny Castle.
He got me the job here.
["Do You Love Me" continues]
- They look great together. - Yeah.
You'd think they were a couple, wouldn't you?
- Aren't they? - No, not since we were kids.
- [man] Do you love me? - [all cheering]
["Love Man" by Otis Redding starts playing]
Yo, cuz, what's she doing here?
She came with me. She's with me.
I carried a watermelon.
"I carried a watermelon"?
["Love Man" continues playing]
♪♪
Bend your knees. Down.
Watch. Watch my eyes.
Good.
That's better.
Good. Now roll this way.
Now watch.
Look.
♪♪
[all, singing along] ♪ Love man! ♪
[cheering and whooping]
[Stan on bullhorn] Ladies, join our hair-raising wig show.
Try your Sandra Dee, Jackie Kennedy, or Elizabeth Taylor Cleopatra wig.
- I'll knock with three. - Look at that cute fella.
Look at these hands. They're golden hands.
[chattering indistinct]
My God, it's Cleopatra! I feel like such an "asp...
You look ten years younger.
[Stan] At 1 0: 1 5, by the pool, we have calisthenics.
Then on the west porch, we have a symposium by Rabbi Maurice Sherman
on the psychology of insult comedians.
[wheezy laughter]
So I say, "Ask not what your waiter can do for you,
but what you can do for your waiter."
You know, if tips keep up, I’ll have enough for my Alfa Romeo.
That's my favorite car.
Ladies, you look very lovely.
Baby, would you cover for me tonight?
Tell Mommy and Daddy I went to lie down.
- Where are you going? - To the golf course.
There's a pretty view from the first tee.
Good. Thanks.
So you were really a Rockette?
I think you're a wonderful dancer.
Yeah? Well, my mother kicked me out when I was 16.
I've been dancing ever since.
It's the only thing I ever wanted to do anyway.
I envy you.
- [scoffs] - [latches click]
[distant music playing]
- Aren't you dancing, Doc? - We're waiting for a waltz.
Ah.
Hi, Max. Aren't my dance lessons starting to pay off?
You look great, Vivian! Terrific!
That's Vivian Pressman, one of the bungalow bunnies.
That's what we call the women who stay here all week long.
The husbands only come up on weekends.
Moe Pressman's a big card player. He'll join our game.
- Moe coming up on Friday? - Friday.
He's away a lot. I know.
It's a hardship.
Uh...
Where's Penny? Everybody's been asking for her.
What do you mean, where's Penny? She's taking a break.
She needs a break.
As long as it's not an all-night break.
Come on, doll. Let's take a walk.
I love to watch your hair blowing in the breeze.
Maybe my parents are looking for me.
Baby, don't worry.
If they think you're with me, they'll be the happiest parents at Kellerman's.
I have to say it.
- I'm known as the catch of the county. - I'm sure you are.
Last week I took a girl away from Jamie, the lifeguard.
And he said to her right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't have?"
And she said, "Two hotels."
[light chuckles]
Robbie.
I don't hear an apology.
Go back to Mommy and Daddy and keep listening, Lisa.
Maybe you'll hear one in your dreams.
I'm sorry you had to see that, Baby.
Sometimes in this world you see things you don't wanna see.
- You hungry? - Eh...
Come on.
So, Baby, what do you want? You can have anything you want.
A brownie, some milk...
leftover rice pudding, beets...
leftover cabbage roll...
[sobbing, shuddering]
...fruit salad, sweet gherkins?
Oh, Neil, look, I'm sorry. I better go check on Lisa.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
♪♪
Why's she here?
I brought her in case Neil comes back.
Penny just doesn't think.
She wouldn't do anything stupid, would she?
So, what's wrong? What's the matter with her?
- She's knocked up, Baby. - Billy!
- What's he gonna do about it? - "What's he gonna do about it?"
[scoffs] Oh, it's mine, right?
- Right away you think it's mine. - But I thought...
[crying]
It's okay. It's okay, Johnny's here.
Johnny's here, it's okay. It's okay...
I'm never gonna let anything happen to you.
[sobbing]
[Johnny] We got to go.
Just hold on. Just hold on.
Good girl. Good girl.
What do you think you're doing? You're in trouble, you talk to me.
I'll take care of it.
You should've come to me in the first place.
Forget it, Johnny. I'm not taking what's left of your salary.
- Penny, that's my business. - Besides, it wouldn't be enough.
[crying]
Oh, God, it's hopeless!
Don't say that.
There's gotta be a way to work it out.
Baby? ls that your name?
Well, you know what, Baby?
You don't know shit about my problems.
- I told her. - Jesus, Billy!
Now she's gonna run and tell her little management boyfriend
and then we'll all get fired.
Why not sky write it?
"Penny got knocked up by Robbie, the creep".
Robbie?!
- Look-- - No, Baby. Baby...
One of the counselors knows a doctor, a real M. D.,
just traveling through New Paltz for one day next week.
We can get an appointment, but it costs $250.
But if it's Robbie, there's no problem. I know he has the money.
- I'm sure if you tell him-- - He knows.
[sad chuckle]
Go back to your playpen... Baby.
Just where do you get off telling me what's right?
Well, you can't just leave her.
I didn't blow a summer hauling toasted bagels
just to bail out some little chick who probably balled every guy in the place.
A little precision, please, Baby.
Some people count and some people don't.
Read it.
I think it's a book you'll enjoy,
but make sure you return it. I have notes in the margin.
You make me sick.
Stay away from me, stay away from my sister or I’ll have you fired.
[birds chirping]
What am I doing wrong?
You're lining it up a little wrong, Marge.
- Daddy. - If your mother ever leaves me,
it'll be for Arnold Palmer.
- Daddy, someone's in trouble. - Besides your mother?
You're over-correcting, Marge.
And you always told me if someone was in trouble, I should try to help.
Could you lend me $250?
Are you all right, Baby ? Are you in some kind trouble?
No, no, it's not me. Could you lend it to me?
That's a lot of money, Baby. What's it for?
Baby, stand up straight.
I can't tell you.
It's hard for me to say that to you, but I can't.
You always said you could tell me anything.
I can't tell you this.
It's not illegal, is it?
No, Daddy.
That was a stupid thing to ask. Forgive me.
I'll have it for you before dinner.
- Is everything all right? - Fine.
Thanks, Daddy.
["Stay" by Maurice Williams and The Zodiacs playing]
♪♪
Here's the money.
You mean Robbie?
No. You were right about him.
- Then where'd you get it? - You said you needed it.
Is this kid for real?
Yeah, it takes a real saint to ask Daddy.
Thanks, Baby, but I can't use it.
What? What's the matter with you? You should take the money.
I can only get her an appointment for Thursday.
They do their act at the Sheldrake on Thursday night.
If they cancel, they lose this season's salary and next year's gig.
What's the Sheldrake?
It's another hotel where they do their mambo act.
Can't someone else fill in?
No, Miss Fixit. Somebody else can't.
Maria has to work all day. She can't learn the routines.
And Janet has to fill in for Penny. Everybody works here.
What, you wanna do it? Wanna take time out from "Simon Says"?
It's not a bad idea.
It was a joke, Billy.
She can move.
No, it's the dumbest idea I ever heard of.
- I can't even do the merengue. - See?
Johnny, you're a strong partner. You can lead anybody.
But you heard her! She can't even do the merengue.
She can't do it. She cannot do it.
♪♪
- No! - Oh, sorry.
- Oh! - Sorry.
You don't step on the one.
You gotta start on the two. Find the two. You understand?
Told you I never did any of these dances before.
Now it's one, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.
Now, the music starts, you don't dance until the two.
- Got it? - Yes.
- [music playing] - Relax, relax.
Breathe.
Frame.
Nope.
["De todo un poco" by Melon playing]
Again.
- Ow. - [new song begins]
Two, three, four. Two, three, four.
Don't lean back. Lifting up.
Two, three, four. Shoulders down.
Two, three, four. Two, three, four.
- Two, three, four. - [sighs]
Again. Now concentrate. And...
["Wipe Out" by The Surfaris playing]
♪♪
Don't put your heel down.
- Don't put your heel down. - I didn't--
Stay on the toe. Just listen to me.
The steps aren't enough.
Feel the music.
["Wipeout" continues]
It's not on the one. It's not the mambo.
It's a feeling, a heartbeat.
[imitates heartbeat sound]
Don't try so hard.
[imitates heartbeat sound]
Close your eyes.
["Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen begins]
Two, three, four.
Two, three, four. Two, three, four.
Breathe. Two, three, four.
Two, three, four.
♪♪
Head up. Lock your frame.
Lock it. Lock it. Look, spaghetti arms.
This is my dance space. This is your dance space.
I don't go into yours. You don't go into mine.
You gotta hold the frame. Again.
Frame.
["Hungry Eyes" continues]
♪ I look at you and I fantasize ♪
♪ You're mine tonight ♪
♪ Now I've got you in my sights ♪
♪ With these hungry eyes ♪
♪ One look at you, and I can't disguise ♪
♪ I’ve got hungry eyes ♪
♪ I feel the magic between you and I ♪
♪ I want to hold you, so hear me out ♪
♪ I want to show you what love's all about ♪
♪ Darlin', tonight ♪
♪ Now I've got you in my sights ♪
♪ With these hungry eyes ♪
♪ One look at you, and I can't disguise ♪
♪ I’ve got hungry eyes ♪
♪ I feel the magic between you and I, yeah ♪
♪ Hungry eyes ♪
♪ Now I've got you in the sights ♪
♪ With these hungry eyes ♪
♪ Now did I take you by surprise ? ♪
♪♪
♪ I need you to see ♪
♪ That you were meant for me ♪
♪ I need you ♪
♪ Hungry eyes ♪
♪ Now I've got you in the sights ♪
♪ Of my hungry eyes ♪
♪ I’ve got you in the sights ♪
♪ Hungry eyes ♪
♪ Hungry eyes... ♪
Back. Easy.
And turn, turn. Down. And lift. You'll learn that later.
And come on.
Down. Twist.
And the bow.
- Sorry. Sorry. - You trying to kill me?
You gotta concentrate! Is that your idea of fun?
Yes, as a matter of fact it is.
We're supposed to do the show in two days,
you won't show me lifts, I'm not sure of turns.
I'm doing all this to save your ass.
What I really want to do is drop you on it!
Let's get out of here.
["Overload" by Zappacosta playing]
Shit!
I locked the keys in the car!
You're getting wet, right?
♪♪
- You're wild. - What?
You're wild!
[laughing]
["Overload" continues playing]
Now, the most important thing to remember in lifts is balance.
- Whoa! Whoa! - [Baby giggles]
- I got it now. - [laughs]
So where'd you learn to be a dancer?
Well, this guy came into this luncheonette one day,
and we were all sitting around doing nothing.
And he said that Arthur Murray was giving a test for instructors.
So, if you passed...
they teach you all these different kinds of dances,
show you how to break them down, how to teach them, you know.
What?
♪♪
No.
Good.
No, no, don't look down. Right here.
Good.
And...
Whoo... [laughs]
["Hey Baby" by Bruce Channel playing]
♪♪
Now, bend your knees and go up. Go, go.
Good try.
Now, you'll hurt me if you don't trust me, all right?
Now, go, go. Go.
Good. Now, I'm gonna go up, all right?
[Baby screams, laughs]
[Johnny] You know, the best place to practice lifts is in the water.
Just bend your knees. And... go.
Good.
Good. Good.
Now hold the position. Hold it.
Good. Don't break! Don't break!
[Baby screams]
[both laughing]
[softly] Okay.
- All right, let's do it again. - Okay.
- Okay. All right. One, two, three. - Okay.
Oh, sorry.
- Good. Keep-- No, don't. - [yelps]
[laughing]
♪♪
It's not too bad.
- One more time. - Okay. Over my head. Go.
I can't believe it's tonight.
The Sheldrake's 20 minutes away. We'll change in the car.
[gasps]
Mrs. Schumacher!
Hey, Mrs. Schumacher. Hey, wait, we'll help you.
[Mrs. Schumacher] Such junk. Such junk.
[laughs]
Benny Bernstein's Dancing School, avenue B.
That's where I went.
George Burns was a teacher.
Oh...
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
So I'll just keep my shoulders down, my head up,
my frame locked, stay on my toes...
What if I forget the steps?
Pull up, watch your frame. And remember, let him lead you.
I'm afraid I'm gonna forget to spike, get dizzy and fall on my face.
No. Don't look at my feet, keep my head up, my eyes open,
tension in my arms, my frame locked, seat pulled up...
Thanks, Baby.
Look, I just want you to know that I don't sleep around...
whatever Robbie might have told you.
And I thought that he loved me.
I thought it was something special.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that.
So, how does it look?
[sad chuckle]
[giggling]
I'm scared.
I'm so scared, Baby.
Don't worry.
You'll be fine. You'll be fine.
[Stan] Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!
That's right, it's Thursday night at Kellerman's. That's bingo night.
- Hey, how about a dance later? - Could be. Who knows?
Lisa, you just gotta do something for me.
I don't just gonna do anything.
Just tell Mommy and Daddy I have a terrible headache
and I'm in bed and check on me once, okay?
Bye.
[emcee] The Sheldrake Hotel is proud to present
Johnny Castle and partner
in "Mambo Magic."
["De todo un poco" begins]
Relax.
♪♪
Cross-body lead.
♪♪
Wrong way!
Over here.
Ready for the lift?
Come on.
Keep going. Keep going.
[applause]
[applause continues]
[DJ on radio] ...because wherever you are now,
I want you to look at the sky. Look at those stars.
What a show. Here are The Drifters.
You did good. You worked hard.
I saw that old couple from Kellerman's and I thought that was it.
Oh! Me too. Me too.
You know, but by the second turn you really had it.
- But I didn't do the lift. - You did real good.
["Some Kind of Wonderful" by The Drifters playing]
[groans]
♪♪
[crickets chirping]
[whistles]
Thanks.
Johnny!
Come on. It's Penny.
- She wouldn't go until you got back. - You didn't call an ambulance?
She said the hospital would call the police. She made me promise.
- [whimpering] - He didn't use no ether, nothing.
I thought you said he was a real M. D.?
The guy had a dirty knife and a folding table.
I could hear her screaming in the hallway.
And I swear to God, Johnny, I tried to get in. I tried!
- [shuddering] - It's all right.
Johnny's here.
♪♪
What? What is it, Baby?
- Is it Lisa? - No.
♪♪
Excuse me. Excuse me! Everybody clear out, please.
- [groaning] - Okay.
[shuddering, sobbing]
Oh... [sobs]
Yes, I know that hurts. We're gonna take care of that.
[sighs]
- Who's responsible for this girl? - I am.
Please, is she--
[crickets chirping]
Doc, thanks a lot.
Dr. Houseman, I don't know how to thank you, to tell you, to--
Was that what my money paid for?
Daddy, I'm sorry. I never meant to lie.
You're not the person I thought you were, Baby. I'm not sure who you are.
But I don't want you to have anything to do with those people again.
- Can I just explain-- - Nothing!
You're to have nothing to do with any of them ever again!
I won't tell your mother about this. Right now I'm going to bed.
And take that stuff off your face before your mother sees you!
[owl hooting]
[Marge] ls everything all right, Jake?
It's all right, Marge. Go back to sleep.
["These Arms of Mine" by Otis Redding playing]
[knock on door]
Can I come in?
I got a-- I guess it's not a great room. You probably got a great room.
No. It's a great room!
♪♪
No, leave it on.
I'm sorry about the way my father treated you.
No. Your father was great.
He was great. The way he took care of Penny--
Yes, but I mean the way he was with you.
It's really me it has to do with.
Johnny, I came here because my father--
No. The way he saved her--
I mean, I could never do anything like that.
That was something.
I mean, the reason people treat me like I'm nothing is because I'm nothing.
That's not true! You-- You're everything!
You don't understand the way it is for somebody like me.
Last month I'm eating jujubes to keep alive.
This month, women are stuffing diamonds in my pockets.
I'm balancing on shit and as quick as that I can be down there again.
No, it's not the way it is! It doesn't have to be that way!
I've never known anybody like you.
You look at the world and you think you can make it better.
Somebody's lost, you find them. Somebody's bleeding--
And I go get my daddy. That's really brave, like you said.
That took a lot of guts to go to him!
I mean... You are not scared of anything.
Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw.
I'm scared of what I did, of who I am.
And most of all, I'm scared of walking out of this room
and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you!
[record player clicks]
["Cry to me" by Solomon Burke begins]
Dance with me.
- What, here? - Here.
["Cry to Me" continues playing]
♪♪
[birds chirping]
[Stan] Singers, dancers, actors, this is your lucky day!
The auditions for the annual Kellerman end-of-the-season talent show
beginning in the playhouse.
- So everyone gonna be in the show? - No, we're leaving tomorrow.
Miss the weekend traffic.
But Jake, we're paid up 'til Sunday.
- Daddy! And miss the show? - I said we're leaving tomorrow.
But Daddy, I was going to sing in the show.
[Neil] It's the big event.
People bring their own arrangements.
You don't want to miss it. Oh, Baby, I need you for props.
Jake, why would you want to leave early?
It was just an idea. We can stay if you want to.
So, Lisa, what were you planning to sing?
"I Feel Pretty."
Or "What Do the Simple Folk Do?"
Or "I Feel Pretty." What do you think, Daddy?
[radio playing indistinct]
- [Penny] Hi. - Hi.
You look much better.
You just missed your father. He's such a wonderful man.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize--
No, you couldn't have. It's okay.
[knock on door]
- Hey! - Johnny.
- So, how you doin'? - I'm okay.
Yeah?
Dr. Houseman says I'm going to be fine.
I can still have children.
Oh, Penny, that's great, that's really great.
So? How did it go last night?
Good.
Fine. I didn't do the lifts, but it was good.
Well, I guess I-- I guess I'm gonna go.
Bye.
See ya.
So, he says you're going to be fine?
- Johnny, what are you doing? - Don't worry about Max.
I'll tell him your grandmother died or something.
How many times have you told me never get mixed-up with them?
I know what I'm doing, Penny.
You listen to me. You've got to stop it now.
Look, um, I gotta run.
I got a lesson with the Kramers in three minutes,
and they'll kill each other if I'm not there.
Well, sure. You've gotta go.
I'll see ya.
Johnny!
[thunder rolling]
[Stan] It's rainy day game time. Pin the tail on the guest.
Win ten boxes of Kleenex or a billy goat!
God, I am so sick of this rain.
Remind me not to take my honeymoon at Niagara Falls.
So, you go to Acapulco. It'll be fine.
Where is my beige iridescent lipstick?
I know I put it in this drawer.
Baby, where are you going in this weather?
Uh, they're having charades in the west lobby.
Quite the little joiner, aren't we?
["Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" by The Shirelles playing]
- Have you had many women? - What?
Have you had many women?
Baby, come on.
- Tell me. I want to know. - No! No!
[scoffs]
[thunder rolls]
Look, you gotta understand what it's like, Baby.
You come from the streets and suddenly you're up here,
and these women, they are throwing themselves at you,
and they smell so good.
And they really take care of themselves.
I mean, I never knew women could be like that, you know?
And they're so rich, so goddamn rich
that you think they must know about everything.
And they're slippin' their room keys in my hand two or three times a day--
Different women-- and so here I think I'm scorin' big, right?
For a while, you think, "Hey!
They wouldn't be doing this if they didn't care about me, right?"
That's all right. I understand. You were just using them, that's all.
No! No, that's not it.
That's the thing, Baby. See, it wasn't like that.
They were using me.
["Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" continues playing]
What's your real name, Baby?
Frances, for the first woman in the Cabinet.
[laughs]
Frances. That's a real grownup name.
[crickets chirping]
I've decided to go all the way with Robbie.
Oh, Lisa, no! Not with someone like him.
Do you think if we came back here for a 1 0th anniversary, it would be free?
It's just wrong this way. It should be with someone--
It should be with someone that-- that you sort of love.
Oh, come on. You don't care about me.
You wouldn't care if I humped the entire army
as long as they were on the right side of the Ho Chi Minh Trail.
What you care about is that you're not Daddy's girl anymore.
He listens when I talk now.
You hate that.
♪♪
[whistle blowing]
[Baby] Two, three, cha-cha-cha.
Hey, my frame! Where's my pleasing arc?
Spaghetti arms! Would you give me some tension, please?
You're invading my dance space. This is my dance space.
That's yours. Let's cha-cha.
Don't look down. Look right here.
♪♪
[lip-syncing] - Sylvia ? - Yes, Mickey?
How you call your lover boy?
Come here, lover boy.
- And if he doesn't answer? - Oh, lover boy.
And if he still doesn't answer?
I simply say...
♪ Baby ♪
♪ O-Oh, baby ♪
♪ My sweet baby ♪
♪ You're the one ♪
- Johnny! - Yeah?
[song volume lowers]
Baby, uh, you takin' dance lessons?
I could teach ya, kid.
[needle scratches record]
Uh... Johnny, my grandfather put me in charge of the final show.
I want to talk to you about the last dance.
I'd like to, uh, shake things up a bit.
- You know, move with the times. - Yeah?
- Yeah. - I've got a lot of ideas.
I've been working with the staff kids
on this, like, cross between this Cuban rhythm and soul dancing.
- It goes... - Whoa, whoa, whoa, boy.
Way over your head here.
Now, I thought you always do the mambo, huh?
Why not dance this year's final dance...
to the pachanga?
Right.
Well, you're free to do the same tired number as last year if you want,
but next year we'll find another dance person
- who'll only be too happy-- - Sure, Neil. No problem.
We'll end the season with the pachanga.
Great idea.
Sometimes he's hard to talk to, but the ladies seem to like him.
See that he gives you the full half-hour you're paying him for, kid.
[footsteps depart]
That little wimp! He wouldn't know a new idea if it hit him in the pachanga.
He wants some new ideas? I could have told him some new ideas.
Well, why did you let him talk to you that way?
What do you mean, fight the boss man?
You tell him your ideas. He's a person, like everyone else.
Look, I know these people, Baby.
They are rich and they're mean. They won't listen to me.
Well, then why not fight harder? Make them listen.
Because I need this goddamned job lined up for next summer.
My dad calls me today, he says, "Good news"' you know?
He says, "Uncle Paul can finally get you in the union."
What union?
The House Painters and Plasterers, Local Number 1 79, at your service.
- [door opens] - [gasps]
I've been thinking a lot about the domino theory.
Now, when Vietnam falls, is China Next?
I don't think they saw us.
Fight harder, huh?
I don't see you fightin' so hard, Baby.
I don't see you running up to Daddy and tellin' him I'm your guy.
I will. With my father, it's complicated.
- I will tell him. - I don't believe you, Baby.
I don't think...
that you ever had any intention of telling him.
Ever.
[Cousin Brucie] Well, cousins, it's almost over. Labor Day weekend is here,
and soon it's back to the old books and back to work.
Oh, what a terrible thought!
[indistinct chatter]
Hi, have you seen Johnny?
[music playing on radio, indistinct]
I'm sorry.
Hey, well, it looks like I picked the wrong sister.
That's okay, Baby. I went slummin' too.
Oh, Johnny!
- [groans] - [girls exclaim]
[grunting and groaning]
Hit me. Hit me.
- [grunting] - [guys cheer]
Get out of here. You're not worth it.
- [Robbie coughs] - [Johnny breathing hard]
♪♪
♪ Who's this Hula Hanna of Kamana Wanna Hula Bay ♪
♪ She will hula when you have a lovely gift she wants ♪
♪ You'll hear her say ♪
♪ Bring me a pineapple that doesn't sting ♪
♪ A bird that swims, a fish that sings ♪
♪ I want 'em, I really want 'em ♪
♪ Bring me a volcano that blows up all the molten jam-a ♪
- ♪ And a blue banana... ♪ - Hi, Vivian.
Win big, Moe. As always.
♪... A fish that sings, I want 'em, I really want 'em ♪
♪ Bring me a volcano that blows up all the molten jam-a ♪
♪ And a blue banana, I can, I canna ♪
♪ And you can wacka all you wanna ♪
♪ While I hula all the day away ♪
This is our last night together, lover.
I've got something worked out for us.
[Lisa] ♪ All the day away ♪
♪ All the boys of Okakokanoka Island ♪
♪ Gathered all the gifts that Hula Hanna asked ♪
♪ They have combed their island home fulfilling each whim ♪
♪ And it's worth it when they watch her shake her grass ♪
Four, five. ♪ Bring me a gentle breeze... ♪
Excuse me, sir. The pirate number's next.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
Hey, kid. Listen, you know, I play cards all weekend
and I've got an all-night game tonight.
Why don't you give my wife some extra dance lessons?
[Lisa] ♪... doesn't sting ♪
♪ A bird that swims, a fish that sings ♪
♪ I want 'em, I really want 'em... ♪
Um...
I'm sorry, Mr. Pressman,
but I'm booked up the whole weekend here, with the show and everything.
So I won't have time for anything else.
I don't think it'd be fair to take the money.
[Lisa] ♪.. .you can wacka while I walk away ♪
♪ And you can wacka all you wanna ♪
♪ You can wacka while I walk away ♪
♪ Away ♪
[higher pitch] ♪ Away ♪
[highest pitch] ♪ Away. ♪
[song ends]
I've decided tonight's the night with Robbie.
He doesn't even know yet.
Oh, hey, Lisa!
["Yes" by Merry Clayton playing throughout]
♪♪
Robbie. It's me.
[Robbie] Holy shit!
["Yes" stops]
[" In The Still of the Nite" by The Five Satins playing]
You wanna hear somethin' crazy?
Last night I--
I dreamt we were walking along and... we met your father,
and he said, "Come on "' and he put his arm around me.
Just like he did with Robbie.
[" In The Still of the Night" continues playing]
♪♪
[indistinct chatter]
You know how you feel when you see a patient and you think he's all right,
then you look at the X-rays and it's nothing like you thought?
What happened, Max?
It's exactly what it's like when you find out one of your staff's a thief.
Moe Pressman's wallet was stolen when he was playing pinochle last night.
It was in his jacket hanging on the back of his chair.
He had it at 1 :30,
and when he checked again at quarter of 4:00...
it was missing.
Vivian thinks she remembers this dance kid, Johnny, walking by.
So we ask him, "You have an alibi for last night?"
He says he was alone in his room reading.
[chuckles]
There are no books in Johnny's room!
There's been a mistake. I know Johnny didn't do it.
There's been similar thefts at the Sheldrake.
It's happened here before. Three other wallets.
- Well, I know he didn't do it. - Stay out of it, Baby.
- [table dragging across floor] - [Max] Wait.
Don't put those tables together. Come on.
Daddy, I need your help.
I know Johnny didn't take Moe's wallet. I know.
- Oh? How do you know? - I can't tell you.
- Just please trust me, Daddy. - I'm sorry, Baby. I can't.
This Danish is pure protein.
Mr. Kellerman, look.
Uh...
Maybe Johnny didn't do it. Anyone could've taken it.
Maybe it was, uh--
You know, it could've been that little old couple, the Schumachers.
- I saw her with a couple of wallets. - Sylvia and Sidney?
Baby, you don't go around accusing innocent people.
Yeah, but I saw them! I even saw them at the Sheldrake.
Didn't you say something was stolen at the Sheldrake?
I got an eyewitness and the kid has no alibi.
Come on, Neil.
You'll learn what it's like to fire an employee.
No, Mr. Kellerman, wait a minute.
I know Johnny didn't take the wallet.
I know he didn't take it because he was in his room all night.
And the reason I know...
is because I was with him.
[birds chirping]
I told you I was telling the truth, Daddy.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
But you lied too.
You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break.
But you meant everyone who is like you.
You told me you wanted me to change the world, to make it better.
But you meant by becoming a lawyer or an economist,
and marrying someone from Harvard.
I'm not proud of myself, but I'm in this family too,
and you can't keep giving me the silent treatment.
There are a lot of things about me that aren't what you thought.
But if you love me, you have to love all the things about me.
[voice breaking] And I love you.
[crying] I'm sorry I let you down. I'm so sorry, Daddy.
But you let me down too.
[bird cawing]
[door opens]
I have been lookin' for you all over.
They found the Schumachers.
They fingerprinted their water glasses,
they found out they were wanted in Arizona and Florida,
and they made a fortune here this summer.
So then it's all right.
I knew it would work out.
- I knew they'd have to apologize. - I'm out, Baby.
They fired you anyway because of me.
And if I leave quietly, I'll get my summer bonus.
So I did it for nothing.
I hurt my family, you lost your job anyway--
- I did it for nothing! - No, no, not for nothing, Baby.
Nobody has ever done anything like that for me before.
You were right, Johnny.
You can't win no matter what you do.
You listen to me.
I don't want to hear that from you. You can!
I used to think so.
[indistinct chatter]
Dr. Houseman, can I, uh--
Look, I'm going anyway and I know what you must be thinking.
You don't know anything about me. Anything at all.
I know you want Baby to be like you.
You know, the kind of person that does things
that make other people look up to them.
Well, Dr. Houseman, Baby is like that. I mean, if you could just see--
Don't you tell me what to see.
I see someone in front of me who got his partner in trouble
and sent her off to some butcher,
while he moved on to an innocent, young girl like my daughter.
Yeah, I guess that's what you would see.
["She's Like The Wind" by Patrick Swayze begins]
- Well... - [Baby sighs]
I can't imagine being here without you even one day.
Just think, you have more time for horseshoes and croquet.
[chuckles]
♪ She's like the wind ♪
Maybe they'll saw you in seven pieces now.
♪ Through my tree ♪
- I guess we surprised everybody. - [laughing]
- I guess we did. - [Baby laughs]
♪ She leads me through moonlight ♪
♪ Only to burn me with the sun ♪
[sighs] I'll never be sorry.
♪ She's taken my heart ♪
Neither will I.
♪ She doesn't know what she's done ♪
♪ Feel her breath on my face ♪
- I'll see ya. - ♪ Her body close to me ♪
♪ Can't look in her eyes ♪
♪ She's out of my league ♪
♪ Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs ♪
♪ She's like the wind ♪
♪♪
♪ I look in the mirror ♪
♪ And all I see ♪
♪ Is a young old man ♪
♪ With only a dream ♪
♪ Am I just fooling myself ♪
- Baby? - ♪ That she 'll stop the pain ? ♪
I'll do your hair.
♪ Living without her ♪
It could look pretty if--
♪ I'd go insane ♪
- No. - ♪ I feel her breath in my face ♪
You're prettier your way. Looser.
♪ Can't look in her eyes ♪
♪ She's out of my league ♪
♪ Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs ♪
♪ She's like the wind ♪
[song ends]
♪ Kellermans, we come together ♪
♪ Singing all as one ♪
♪ We have shared another season's ♪
♪ Talent, play and fun ♪
♪ Summer days will soon be over ♪
♪ Soon the autumn starts ♪
♪ And tonight the memories whisper ♪
♪ Softly in our hearts ♪
♪ Join hands and hearts and Voices ♪
♪ Voices, hearts and hands ♪
♪ At Kellerman's the friendships last ♪
♪ Long as the mountain stands ♪
♪ Daytime, nighttime, any hour ♪
♪ Weather rain or shine ♪
♪ Games and lectures ♪
♪ Jokes and music ♪
♪ Happily combine ♪
♪ Join hands and hearts and Voices ♪
♪ Voices, hearts and hands ♪
♪ At Kellerman's... ♪
Robbie!
♪ Long as the mountain stands ♪
Good luck in medical school, son.
And I wanted to thank you for your help with the Penny situation.
I guess we've all gotten into messes like these.
What?
I thought Baby told you. Look, I'm not sure.
I mean, Penny said so, but you know with girls like that.
They're liable to pin it on any guy around.
♪ Join hands and hearts and Voices ♪
♪ Voices, hearts and hands ♪
Hello, landsman!
[both speaking Yiddish]
You and me, Tito. We've seen it all, eh?
Bubbah and Zeda serving the first pasteurized milk to the boarders.
Through the war years, when we didn't have any meat.
Through the Depression, when we didn't have anything.
Lots of changes, though, Max. Lots of changes.
It's not the changes so much this time, Tito.
It's-- it's that it all seems to be ending.
You think kids want to come with their parents and take fox-trot lessons?
Trips to Europe, that's what the kids want!
Twenty-two countries in three days.
It feels like it's all slipping away.
♪ But the heart needs a vacation ♪
♪ Where no cares are seen ♪
♪ So let's join in just one last chorus ♪
♪ Visitors, staff and guests ♪
♪ What we've shared won't be forgotten ♪
♪ Old friends are the best. ♪
♪ Join hands and hearts and Voices ♪
♪ Voices, hearts and hands ♪
♪ At Kellerman's the friendships last ♪
♪ Long as the mountain stands ♪
- [excited chatter] - Hey, Johnny.
♪ Voices, hearts and hands ♪
♪ At Kellerman's the friendships last ♪
♪ Long as the mountain stands... ♪
Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
Come on.
[song continues]
[audience chattering]
Sorry about the disruption, folks,
but I always do the last dance of the season.
But this year somebody told me not to.
So I'm gonna do my kind of dancin' with a great partner...
who's not only a terrific dancer...
but somebody who's taught me
that there are people willing to stand up for other people,
no matter what it costs them.
Somebody who's taught me...
about the kind of person I want to be.
Miss Frances Houseman.
Sit down, Jake.
[people murmuring]
["(I've Had) The Time of My Life" begins]
♪ Now I've ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ No, I never felt like this before ♪
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ 'Cause I've ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
[people cheering]
♪ I've been waiting for so long ♪
- ♪ Now I finally found someone ♪ - [rhythmic clapping]
♪ To stand by me ♪
♪ We saw the writing on the wall ♪
♪ As we felt this magical fantasy ♪
♪ Now with passion in our eyes ♪
♪ There's no way we could disguise it secretly ♪
♪ So we take each other's hand ♪
♪ 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency ♪
I think she gets this from me.
♪ Just remember ♪
♪ You're the one thing ♪
♪ I can't get enough of ♪
♪ So I'll tell you something ♪
♪ This could be love ♪
♪ Because ♪
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ 'Cause I've ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ And I've searched through every open door ♪
♪ Till I've found the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
Whoo!
♪ Hey, baby ♪
Yeaaaah!
♪ Oh, yeah yeah yeah ♪
♪ With my body and soul ♪
♪ I want you more than you'll ever know ♪
♪ So we we'll just let it go ♪
♪ Don't be afraid to lose control ♪
♪ Yes, I know what's on your mind ♪
♪ When you say, "stay with me tonight" ♪
♪ Stay with me ♪
♪ And remember ♪
♪ You're the one thing ♪
♪ I can't get enough of ♪
♪ So I'll tell you something ♪
♪ This could be love ♪
♪ Because ♪
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ 'Cause I've ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ And I've searched through every open door ♪
♪ Never felt this way ♪
♪ Till I found the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ Yeaaah ♪
♪ Whoa ho ho ho ♪
♪♪
Do you have sheet music on this stuff?
I know you weren't the one who got Penny in trouble.
Yeah.
When I'm wrong, I say I'm wrong.
You looked wonderful out there.
["(I've Had) The Time of my Life" continues playing]
♪♪
♪ Now I've ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪
♪ Never felt this way ♪
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
♪ And I've searched through every open door ♪
♪ Till I found the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ I had the time of my life, baby! ♪
♪ I've had the time of my life ♪
♪ No, I never felt this way before ♪
♪ Never felt this way ♪
♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth ♪
♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
♪ 'Cause I ♪
♪ Had the time of my life ♪
♪ And I've searched through every open door ♪
["Yes" by Merry Clayton playing]
[Cousin Brucie] Wow, what a groovy, boss summer this has been, cousins.
'03 will go down in history as the best summer for me.
Hope for you, too. And girls, please remember
that you promised to respect him in the morning.
[laughs]
["Yes" continues]