Three.
One, Two, Three.
Okay, Rudy, Your Question Is:
"Who Said, 'I Have Not Yet Begun To Fight'?"
Papa Smurf.
You've Answered Every Question "Papa Smurf."
It's Wrong?
Yes, It's Wrong.
Papa Smurf Never Said That.
Who Did?
Clint Eastwood.
This Game's Too Hard For Me.
(Ring)
Huxtable Residence.
Yeah, She Is.
Hold On For A Second.
Vanessa, You Have A Phone Call From A Boy.
A Boy?
Has He Got The Right Number?
It's Probably Just About Homework.
He Doesn't Have That Homework Sound.
Whoa!
I'll Take It In The Kitchen.
Hang Up The Second I Get On.
Let's Listen!
(Doorbell)
Hello There.
Can I Help You?
Yeah, You're "Little Combustible."
Who?
That Was Your Father's Nickname.
I'm Ernie Scott.
Oh, He Said You Were Coming.
Weren't You Dad's Track Coach In College?
Do I Look That Old?
Don't Answer That.
Okay. I'll Tell Daddy You're Here.
Dad Has A Picture Of You
Lifting Him Up In The Air After He Won A Race.
I Was Carrying Him To The Locker Room After He Collapsed.
What Happened?
Nothing.
After Every Race, He'd Just Collapse.
Stadium Would Be Empty, He'd Still Be Lying There.
Ernie!
You Got The Pepper?
I Got The Pepper.
Hey, Cliff. Ah, Boy.
You've Got...
Whoa, You've Got Something Else There.
Tell Me What You've Been Doing
Besides Gaining Weight.
This Is The Same Belt Size I Had When I Was In College.
Yeah, You Wore It In A Different Place.
Cliff: Theo
You're Looking At A Man Who Changed My Entire Life.
Before I Met This Man, I Was Happy.
And Then He Made Me Run The 440.
I've Come To See You...
Well, I Attend A Lot Of These Masters Track Meets.
What's That?
Track Meets For People Over 35 Who Still Compete.
At Every One I Go To, I See All Your Old Teammates:
Tommy Seals, Reggie Struthers, Toussaint Jackson.
How Are They?
In Terrific Condition.
You Have To Be When You Compete At That Level.
They're Running Against Guys Like Benny Moore
Like Whitfield, Sanford B. "Tailwind" Turner...
"Tailwind" Turner.
That's Right.
He's Still Running?
Yeah, That's Right.
Who's "Tailwind" Turner?
The Only Man Ever To Beat Your Father.
Penn Relays.
Hillman College
Versus Norton University.
Battle Of The Two Great Anchormen:
Sanford B. "Tailwind" Turner
Heathcliff "Combustible"
Huxtable.
Let Me Tell You Something.
Came To The Anchormen, "Tailwind", And Dad.
I Called Myself "Combustible" Because--
Boom! When I Explode, That's It.
And They Had A 20-Yard Lead.
"Tailwind" Took Off.
I Felt Him-- Whoosh!
I Got The Baton, And I Took Off.
Now This Is Penn Relays.
You Got About 43,000 People.
Talking About, "Whaaw!"
I Got To Hold Back.
I Can't Listen To The Crowd.
So I'm Talking To Myself.
Said, "We Use Intelligence, Stay Loose.
Long, Hard Strides."
Pull Out My Fishing Rod
And I Put A Hook Dead In His Back
And Started To Reel Him In.
He Started Coming Back To Me
And I'm Staying Smooth, Bottom Lip Just Bouncing.
Came Around The Turn
Now I'm Five Yards Off Of Him, Man.
I Said To Myself, "Combustible, Bust Him Up."
I'm Up On The Shoulder, And I Hear The Crowd Say
"Whoaaa!"
I Did A Body Check, And The Body Said, "Go Ahead."
The Body Said, "Go Ahead."
Said, "If You Want Him, Go Get Him."
And I Said, "Look Out."
And This Man Started To Edge Over.
In Other Words, He Was Pushing Me--
Without Touching Me, He's Pushing Me.
Pushed Me From Lane Two To Lane Six
Almost Up In The Stands.
Wait. Turner Said He Never Ran You Wide.
He's A Liar!
Ernie: No, No.
This Has Been Going On For 26 Years.
Finally, It's Come To A Head.
What Do You Mean?
I Arranged A Rematch.
You Did?
Good. Good, Good.
Hillman Versus Norton.
In Three Weeks At The Masters Meet At The Meadowlands.
Good. My Family Will Get Tickets
And We'll Come Out And Watch This.
Aha.
Ah, Ha, Ha.
Huh, Huh, Huh, Huh-Uh.
No, No, No, No.
I'm Way, Way Out Of Shape.
You're In Shape.
You Jog During The Week.
To Jog Is To Go, "Pit-Pat, Pit-Pat."
To Run The 440 Is To Go, "Spish-Spash, Spish-Spash."
How Much Did You Weigh In College?
175.
What's Your Weight Now?
175.
With Your Clothes Off?
2o6.
Ernie: Whoa!
Ernie!
Oh, Clair, My Love.
Look At You.
Mom, Guess What?
Clair: What?
Dad Is Running Against "Tailwind" Turner.
I Never Said I Was Running Anything.
"Tailwind" Turner?
That Tired Little Toad?
Clair...
You Would Have Caught Him That Day.
You Should Have Seen Your Father.
He Took Off Like Lightning.
He Wore White Shoes With Red Shoelaces
That I Had Bought Him.
I Was Looking Smooth, Wasn't I, Dear?
He Was Fierce!
The Only Time He Ran The Last 100 Yards Of The Race
Without Tying Up.
Coming Around That Curve
Smooth As A Whistle In The Wind
Your Head Turning Around.
He Was Getting Ready To Pass Him.
Then This Little Sneaky Snake Edges Over
And Tries To Push Your Father Into The Stands.
And He Only Beat Me By Half A Step.
Ernie: Oh, No, No.
Turner's Been Bragging For Years
That He Beat You By Ten Yards.
He Didn't Say That.
Yes, He Did.
He Said
He Had His Sweat Pants On And Was Eating A Hot Dog
When You Finally Crossed The Finish Line.
He Wouldn't Say That To My Face.
He Said He Would, But That You Wouldn't Recognize Him
Because All You Ever Seen Is The Back Of His Head.
He Said That?
Yeah.
That's What He Said?
He Said That, Huh?
That's What He Said.
I'm Going Around Twice.
I Won't Stop Here. Twice.
Okay.
Ready!
No, You Don't Yell Ready.
I'll Let You Know...
When My Arm Drops, Then You Hit The Watch.
Okay.
Theo: All Right, Come On, Dad.
Come On, Go, Go, Go!
Nice And Smooth.
Come On, Run It Out.
Come On, Nice And Smooth.
Looking Good, Dad, Looking Good.
Long Strides
Come On, Nice And Smooth.
All Right, You're Looking Good.
You're Looking Good.
All Right, Come On.
Come On, Dad.
Looking Good, Dad.
Come On, Looking Good.
Come On!
Where Did He Go?
Dad, What's The Matter?
You Got A Half A Lap To Go.
No, This Is Fine.
You Said You Would Do Three 6oos And Four 3oos.
We Don't Need To Do Those Today.
Why?
This Is In Case I Wasn't In Shape.
I'm In Shape.
Interested In Your Time?
No. Let's Go Home.
Home?
(No Audio)
(Groan)
How Are You Doing?
Please, Don't Touch Me.
You Weren't Out There Very Long.
I Went Out There.
I Said I Was Going To Run Three 6oos
And A Couple Of 4oos.
So I Took Off On The 400, Which Is Two Laps Around
And The First Lap I Stayed Pretty Smooth.
But Then I Went Behind The Bleachers...
And The Bear Was Waiting For Me.
And The Bear Gave Me A Sofa And A Refrigerator
And Wanted Me To Carry It For The Rest Of The Race.
The First Day's Always The Hardest.
You Have To Give Yourself A Chance.
Every Person That Ernie Has Lined Up Is In Shape.
I'm Not Going Out There And Embarrass Myself.
Okay.
Clair?
Yes?
Would You Bring The Shower Down Here, Please?
(Ring)
Doctor Huxtable Here.
Is This Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable?
Yes, It Is. Who's Speaking?
This Is Colonel Sanford B. Turner
Better Known To You As "Tailwind."
Yeah, "Tailwind", How You Doing?
I'm In The Marines, And I'm Coach Of Our Track Team.
Oh, Yeah?
The Rumor Is You And Your Old Cronies From Norton
Are Looking For A Rematch.
I Heard You Have
A Long Way To Go To Get The Pepper.
Ha! I Got Enough Pepper To Sprinkle On Your Little Head.
If You Can't Find The Track, I'll Send A Car For You.
You'd Better Keep It.
After The Race
You'll Need Something To Take You To The Cemetery.
Aah!
Ow.
Ow!
(No Audio)
All Right. Hit It.
Keep Your Elbows In.
Keep Them In.
That's It.
No, You've Got To Slap It In.
I'll Hurt You.
No, Just Slap It In.
Dad, Do I Look Okay
For Leon's Birthday Party?
Whoa! Leon Is In Big Trouble.
Thanks. I'm Sorry I'm Going To Miss Your Race.
I'm Sorry I'm Going To Miss Leon's Party.
You Look Beautiful.
Thank You, Rudy.
Dad, Could We Talk?
Sure.
Privately.
It's About Boys.
Exc-U-U-Use Me!
During A Slow Dance, What Do You Do With This Hand?
You Could Wave At The People Who Are Coming In Late.
Dad, This Is Serious.
Okay.
All Right, The Slow Record Comes On.
♪ Baby, What... ♪
Uh, Vanessa?
Huh?
You Don't Mash Your Body Up Against Any Boy.
I Don't Care Who He Is.
Do You Understand?
You're Not Going To Mash Your Body.
Now Step Back 12 Inches.
(Doorbell)
Thanks, Dad.
(Whistle)
You Got The Pepper?
I've Got The Pepper.
Good Luck.
We'll Be Right Up In The Stands.
We'll Be Rooting For You.
Make Sure Cliff's Shoe Laces Are Tied Tightly
That He's Properly Warmed, And He Doesn't Pull Anything.
Do It To 'Em.
Have You Got The Pepper?
I've Got The Pepper.
All Right, Come On.
I Hope He Wins.
I Hope He Comes Out Of It Alive.
Race Announcer: Welcome To Our Preliminary Event Tonight--
A Special Masters Relay
Between Hillman College And Norton University.
Leading Off For Hillman Is Tommy Seals
And For Norton, It's Benny Moore.
(Starter's Gun)
They're Off!
Here Comes Benny Moore Now, Overtaking Seals.
Norton Has The Lead.
And They Make The Exchange.
Now Running For Norton, Dalmieri Calbalone.
And For Hillman, It's Reggie Struthers.
Here Comes Struthers.
And Now Calbalone.
It's Calbalone Of Norton.
Struthers Of Hillman.
Here's The Second Exchange.
Now Running For Norton, Mckinley Whitfield.
And For Hillman, It's Toussaint Jackson.
And Whitfield Is Widening The Gap.
It's Whitfield Way Out In Front Of Jackson.
And Now Hillman Has Taken The Lead.
Waiting For The Baton
The Anchorman For Norton Is "Tailwind" Turner
And For Hillman, It's Heathcliff Huxtable.
It Looks Like A Photo Finish.
All Right, Dad!
We Love You!
All Right, Dad!
We Love You, Dad!
You Were Great Tonight.
Thank You.
And It Wasn't A Tie.
You Beat That Little Weasel.
I Think I Won.
And Looked Good.
I Did?
You Were So Cute In Your Shorts--
Muscles Rippling.
Oh, My Goodness, Rippling.
Long, Beautiful Strides.
Oh, Yeah?
You Know What Else?
I Really Feel Good.
My Stomach Is Flattening Out A Bit From Those Workouts.
It's Really Good For Me.
Why Don't You...
Turn Out The Lights?
I Would, But I'm So Stiff I Can't Move.