Hello! 你好！
Welcome, one and all. 欢迎大家
I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster. 我是Greg Davies 这里是《任务主人》
We're approaching the halfway point 我们即将到达这场争夺非凡大奖的
of the colossal competition to win this incredible prize. 旷世大赛的半程
This. Not just a trophy. 这 —— 不仅仅是一座奖杯
It's a life goal. 更是一生的追求
And who are the needy individuals 那么究竟是哪些可怜虫
desperately hoping to take it home with them? 迫不及待、渴望至极想要将它带回家呢？
I'll tell you. 我来告诉你
Hugh Dennis! Hugh Dennis!
Joe Lycett! Joe Lycett!
Lolly Adefope! Lolly Adefope!
Mel Giedroyc! Mel Giedroyc!
Noel Fielding! Noel Fielding!
And look who's pulled up his little permanent pew. 瞧瞧谁又坐上他那小小的专属宝座了
[high-pitched] It's little Alex Horne! 是小小Alex Horne！
Episode four, Alex. You having a nice time? 第四集了Alex 你觉得开心吗？
I'm feeling very safe. 我觉得很安全
Safe? 安全？
One, because I'm sat next to you and you're very strong. 第一 我一直坐你旁边 你很强壮
I'm a big boy. 我很大只
Two, because I know I've prepared well, 第二 我知道我准备很充分了
and three, 'cause I'm wearing shin pads. 以及第三 因为我穿着护腿板
So just in case... 以防万一
What is today's prize category? 今天的奖品是什么？
Well, get ready, because today we've asked them to bring in 做好准备 因为今天我们让他们带来
their most surprising picture of themselves. 自己最让人惊讶的照片
- Surprising? - Mm-hm. - 让人惊讶的？ - 对
So you're gonna judge which is the most surprising picture. 你要评出最让人惊讶的照片
Yep. 好
Whoever wins that is gonna get the first big points of the show. 获胜者将获得本期节目第一个5分
Whoever wins the whole show will win 本集获胜者更将赢得
five surprising pictures to take home. 5张令人惊讶的照片带回家
- So that's brilliant. - Yeah, that's motivation, isn't it? - 太棒了 - 是啊 多有动力是吧
OK, we'll start with Joe then. What's your surprising picture? 好我们从Joe开始吧 你的照片是什么？
It's me in a hammock without a top on. 是我没穿上衣在一张吊床里
And my back fat is pressed through the... 然后我背上的肉被挤出来...
That's great! 真不错
I mean, do you have any more questions, or...? 我说 你们还有什么疑问吗 还是...
I certainly do not. 我反正是没有
It surprised me and it horrified me. 这照片让我很吃惊 而且让我很害怕
- That's a lovely start. - OK. Good stuff. - 开了个好头 - 干得不错
It's worth noting at this point, this is show four. 值得注意的是 这已经是第四集了
And in the prize category, Hugh has lost every single one. 在奖品任务环节 Hugh每次都是垫底
Everything he's brought in has been universally judged to be shit. 他带来的每样东西都被全面认定为垃圾
Let's hope that he ups his game a little bit tonight. 希望他今晚能争点气
It's not necessarily a surprising photograph of me. 它其实不算是令人惊讶的照片
It is the use to which I put it which is surprising. 而是我使用它的方式令人惊讶
'Cause when I'm walking down the street, 因为我走在街上的时候
I get people going, "Oh look, there's Hugh Dennis." 总会有人说“看啊那是Hugh Dennis”
So what I've started to do now, in the street, is put this on. 所以我现在在街上 就会把这个戴上
And nobody thinks it's me. 就没有人会认出我了
Because why the fuck would Hugh Dennis be wearing... 因为 到底为什么Hugh Dennis会他妈的戴着...
So the one person it can't be under the mask is Hugh Dennis, 所以面罩下面最不可能的人就是Hugh Dennis
which means I can do my shopping in comfort, 也就意味着我可以轻松地逛商场了
apart from people thinking I'm a bit weird. 只不过人们会觉得我有一点奇怪
You alright? You alright, mate? 你没事吧伙计？
Mel, what's your surprising photo? Mel 你的照片是什么？
Here we are, so... 来了 所以...
[Mel] Yep. 没错
[Noel] You look like a pervert. 你像个变态
[Alex] It's Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe by Manet, painted in 186-- 这是马奈的《草地上的午餐》创作于1862
[Mel] 1862! 1862年！
I wish we had a picture of Manet, 'cause you look quite like Manet. 要是有马奈的照片就好了 你长得很像马奈
Yes, it's been said. By you, just then. 没错有人说过 你刚刚说的
[Alex] Surprising, Greg? It is, uh... 惊讶吗Greg？
[Greg] D'you know, I don't... 你知道吗 我没有...
This is the thing. It isn't that surprising to me... 问题就是 我没觉得Mel把自己放那幅画里
that Mel has put herself in that picture. 让我很惊讶
And you might like to reflect on that. 你可能得好好反思一下
Noel, what's your photo? Noel你的呢？
I thought I'd present you with one of me 我要向你展示我的版本之一
as the Virgin Mary. 圣母玛利亚
[Greg] That's from the Boosh years, presumably? 我猜那是Boosh时候的照片？
[Noel] Yeah, looking a bit like Lady Di. 对 有点像黛安娜王妃
Hauntingly beautiful. 美得瘆人
Lolly? Lolly？
So, it's funny that you said that you look like Lady Di, 有趣的是你说你看起来像黛安娜王妃
because mine is a photo of me as Lady Di. 因为我的照片就是我扮成黛安娜王妃
[Mel] Oh, that's great. 噢好棒
[Mel] That's marvellous. 太棒了
It was a political statement about when people black up in movies. 是一个电影里人们黑皮化的政治宣言
And I'll tell you this, it's a conspiracy theory 我这么说吧 这是个我们从没听过的
about Lady Di that we've not heard before, isn't it? 关于黛安娜王妃的阴谋论
- Exactly. - [laughter] 没错
She was a black woman. 她是位黑人女性
OK, you've got to make your mind up. 你要做决定了
- OK, I'm not putting Hugh last. - Right. - 我不会把Hugh排最后 - 好的
Erm, because... 呃 因为...
Oh, God, this is so... 天呐 太...
I think I am gonna put Hugh last. 我觉得我要把Hugh排最后
'Cause it's rubbish. Absolutely rubbish. 因为那就是个垃圾 纯粹的垃圾
Oh, Desky! 噢卷王
[Greg] Sorry, Desky. 不好意思卷王
Uh, Boosh... I'm not surprised that Noel's in the Boosh. 呃Boosh...我并不惊讶Noel出现在Boosh里
Noel goes into fourth place. Noel第四名
- Third? - Third... - 第三名？ - 第三...
- E-e-e-erm. - Ooh. - 咩 - 哦
What was that? 啥玩意？
Double denim in the painting. 油画里的双牛仔
- [Alex] Yep, we know what that means. - It's not double denim. - 我们知道那是什么意思 - 不是双牛仔
- [Hugh] Single denim. It's a boiler suit, isn't it? - [Mel] It's a boiler suit. - 单牛仔 是个工装连体服对吧 - 是连体服
Oh, in that case, into first place you go. 噢 那要不你第一名吧
Second, it's old Ham Back over there. 第二名 给那位火腿背老哥
OK, so we need first place. 好的 还差第一名
And first, of course, what wonderful news, 当然了毫无悬念 惊天好消息
Princess Diana's alive. 黛安娜王妃还活着
[Greg] Lolly Adefope! Lolly Adefope
Better make some episode headway. What's next, Alex? 该有点进展了 接下来是什么Alex？
OK, we are going to hopefully get high and wet, Greg. 好的Greg 我们接下来要又高又湿
- [Greg whistles] - Yes, your favourites. 是的你的最爱
Hello. Ooh, hang on. 你好 噢稍等
- Hello. - [Alex] Hello, Lolly. - 你好 - 你好Lolly
Oh, brilliant! That's so good. 噢太聪明了吧 好棒
That sun's fucking bright. 太阳好他妈刺眼
How do you focus this thing? 这东西怎么聚焦？
No, still can't read that. 不行 还是看不清
"Make..." “制造...”
"the..."
"Make the highest splash." ”最高的水花“
This is the most useless telescope I have ever... 这是我见过最没用的望远镜
It makes it the same size as the thing that's a long way away. 用它看一点放大效果都没有
"Make the highest splash." “制造最高的水花”
"You have 15 minutes and one attempt." “你有15分钟时间和1次机会”
"Before you commence the task, “在开始任务之前”
you have to say who you think will win the task." “你要说出你认为谁会赢得本次任务”
"Those who correctly guess the winner will win an extra five points." “猜对获胜者的选手将获得额外5分”
"Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle." “Alex哨声后开始计时”
[Alex] Who do you think's gonna make the highest splash? 你认为谁能制造最高的水花
I think I'm gonna make the highest splash. 我觉得我会制造最高的水花
It's between Lolly and Hugh. 要么是Lolly要么是Hugh
- [Alex] Is it? - Yeah. - 是吗 - 是的
[Alex] Who do you think's gonna make the highest splash? 你觉得谁会制造最高的水花？
Me. 我
- Who, sorry? - Me. - 谁？ - 我
- Lolly Adefope? - Yes. - Lolly Adefope - 对
[Alex] Who do you think's gonna make the highest splash? 你觉得谁会制造最高的水花？
Mel. Mel
[Alex] OK. 好的
I think... I'm not sure about Noel. 我觉得...我不太确定是不是Noel
[Alex] No. 是的
I'd like to think it'd be me. 我希望是我
The highest splash? 最高的水花？
Fifteen minutes? 15分钟？
I don't even know what that means. 我都不知道那是啥意思
That was sad, wasn't it? 好难过
When they said, "Who's your best friend?" and I went "Mel!" 别人问“谁是你最好的朋友？” 我说“Mel!”
And they went "Who's your best friend, Mel?" and she went "Not Noel." 然后问“谁是你最好的朋友Mel？” 然后她说“不是Noel”
- He often wears things like feathers. - [Greg] Yeah. - 他经常穿一些像羽毛一样的衣服 - 是
And in my mind's eye, I saw a big old splash, 在我想象中 我看到一个超大水花
and a sort of drowned, feathery... 和一只全身湿透的 长着羽毛的...
[Noel] Crow. 乌鸦
And that worried me. 这让我很担心
"I'll tell you who it won't be. That twat who dresses like a crow." “我告诉你谁绝对不可能第一名 那个穿得像乌鸦的混蛋”
- [laughter] - [Mel] I didn't mean... 我不是那个意思
You seemed pretty angry with the telescope, Hugh. 你好像很生望远镜的气Hugh
Well, I couldn't see through it. 我用那个看不清
[Greg] Yeah. 好吧
And that seems to me like a fairly fundamental purpose of a telescope. 我觉得那应该是望远镜最基本的功能
You might be interested to know, all of you, 你们或许会想知道
that no one asked you to look through that telescope. 没人要求你们用那个望远镜看
So they had one attempt each, 他们每人有一次机会
but they could test their splashing equipment. 但是他们可以测试溅起水花的设备
So they could have multiple practice splashes? 所以他们可以练习多次？
Yes? 好的？
- [laughter] - Yes, that's right. 是的没错
And we're gonna start with all the men. 我们从男人们开始
[Alex] Good luck. 祝你好运
- I'm off to the shed. - Oh, yeah? - 我要去工具棚 - 是吗？
Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? 这个应该不错
Is this making anyone feel like they need a wee? 有人觉得想尿尿吗
That went quite high. 这个很高
Oh... 噢
[Noel] Yes. 对的
- Yes? - Yes. - 可以吗？ - 可以
Yeah, I'm ready. 我准备好了
- [Alex] Yeah? - Yeah. - 准备好了？ - 好了
Have you got a... 你有...
Can I use that hammer on the string? 我能用那个绑着绳子的锤子吗？
I've got to line it up. 我得把它对准
- Get ready? - [Hugh] Yep. - 接好了 - 好的
[Hugh] There we are. Beautiful. 很好 漂亮
Alright, watch yourselves. I've got a bowling ball. 你小心一点 我有个保龄球
Good luck, Joe. 祝你好运Joe
Thank you. 谢谢
You ready? 准备好了？
[Alex] One attempt, Hugh. Good luck. 一次机会Hugh 祝你好运
Shit. 靠
It's beautiful just to see you soaked. 看到你浑身湿透真是太美了
I didn't sort of think the water was gonna come out. 我没想到水会溅出来
Yeah, funny old game, innit? 是啊 多新鲜
Throwing a bowling ball into a bucket of water. 把保龄球扔进一桶水里
- Mm-hm. - And out it comes! 然后水溅出来了！
You were all going, "What's Hugh doing?" 你们都在说“Hugh在做什么”
I'll tell you what he was doing. 我来告诉你们他在做什么
He was doing what my dad used to do, 他在做我爸以前会做的事情
which was he was dropping a plumb line for absolute accuracy. 就是放一根铅垂线来保证足够精准
- [Mel] Oh, is that what it was? - Which is what all dads do... - 噢原来是这样？ - 是所有父亲做的
before they totally miss the fucking bucket. 然后他们准确错过了破桶
- [laughter] - Completely. 一点儿没错
I wanted to go higher in the thing but I was told to stop. 我本来想爬更高点 但是不允许我爬了
- Because it was dangerous. - [Alex] You're 55. - 因为太危险 - 你55了
Joe, you very cleverly raised the bucket up, Joe 你很聪明地把桶抬高
giving yourself extra height, as Noel did as well. 把自己放在更高的地方 和Noel一样
You got to six foot two, 你的到6英尺2英寸（约188厘米）
- the splash. - Oh, that's how tall I am! - 溅起的水花 - 噢我就那么高！
Exactly the same height as you, whereas Hugh got 18 inches, 和你的身高相同 然后Hugh的是18英寸（约45厘米）
which is the same height he was when he was born. 相当于他刚出生时的高度
And then I've had to go metric for Noel, 然后给Noel我得用公制单位
'cause it didn't go big enough. Five metres ten. 因为英寸不太够用了 5.10米
[Greg] God almighty. 老天爷
[Alex] I went metric. I had to go metric. 我用了公制 只能用公制
Sorry to stop proceedings in such a frustrating manner, 很遗憾要用这种方式打断节目进程
but it's time to take a commercial break. 但是广告时间到了
See you in a whole bunch of seconds. 稍后见
Welcome back. 欢迎回来
It's good to see you again. 很高兴再次见到你
We are partway through a task. 我们正在一项任务进程中
Alex, can you remind us of the current situation, please? Alex 可以请你给我们说一下目前的情况吗？
I can. They're trying to create the highest splash. 可以的 他们正在试图制造最高的水花
And the boys had varying degrees of wet success, 男孩子们取得了不同程度的湿身成就
Noel's being the best... Noel取得最佳
[both] degree... of wet success. 程度的湿身成就
So let's see how Mel and Lolly got on. The ladies. 让我们看看Mel和Lolly 女士们完成的怎样
I'm gonna get the... ladder... 我要拿...梯子
and hose... 和水管
Right. Hosey, please. 麻烦给我下水管
- Hosey? - Hosey up the tower. - 水管？ - 水管顺着塔上来
As they say. Thanks, my darling. 人们常说的 谢谢亲爱的
Look at the height! That's a splash! 看这个高度！有水花！
Right, hang on. No, look. 对的别动 看
This is a splash against the house! 水花溅在房子上了！
There, that's a splash! 在那儿 水花！
[Lolly] OK, go! 开始！
Yeah! 耶
- See that? - [Alex] Oh, yeah. - 看见了吗？ - 看见了
Here we go. 来咯
There she blows. 她在喷水
Are we splashing the clock? 水花有溅到钟上吗？
- [Alex] Not yet. - Yes. - 还没有 - 好
Did that get it? 到了吗？
[Alex] Yes! 到了
- Got it? - Yep. - 可以了？ - 是的
Yes! 太好了！
Halfway up the clock, that one. 那个到钟的一半
[Mel] Boom! 搞定！
Thank you, Mel. 谢谢你Mel
Yeah! 耶！
Enough now. 差不多了
- Thank you. - Thank you. - 谢谢 - 谢谢
Your time's up. 你的时间到了
Ah, that felt good. 啊感觉好爽
[Alex] Phew. Still think Lolly's gonna win? 你还觉得Lolly会赢吗？
I think could be possibly an old-female... 我觉得 有可能 是一位老女人...
I don't wanna be smug though. 我不想太得意了
But, yeah, quite pleased with that. 但是 相当满意
That's quite high, isn't it? 相当高了是不是
[Mel] Yours was high. 你的很高
- [Mel] Yours was higher. - [Lolly] Maybe. - 你的比我高 - 或许是
I'm gonna have to ask my assistant 我要让我的助理
to clarify what a splash is. 解释下水花的定义
OK, a splash is "to cause liquid to strike or fall 好的 水花是“使液体以不规则的液滴形式
on something in irregular drops." 撞击或落在物体上”
"On something." “在物体上”
So the splash would have to be measured from 所以水花必须从水撞击并落下的
the water hitting something and coming off. 地方来测量距离
- [Alex] Officially, yes. - [Greg] Right. - 严格来说是的 - 好的
[Alex] Are you worried that Lolly... sprayed? 你是担心Lolly的喷泉吗？
I think Lolly's worked out for herself what happened. 我觉得Lolly已经清楚怎么回事了
- [laughter] - No, no, no, no. 不不不不
Lolly sprayed into the air and caused a splash Lolly把水喷到空中 制造了水花
but that splash came off the ground. 但是那个水花是从地上溅起的
[Alex] In which case, Lolly's was a lower splash than Hugh's, weirdly. 这样一来 Lolly的水花竟然奇怪地比Hugh的还矮
Weirdly, it was, because she used her brain... 确实很怪 因为她动了脑子...
but just not enough. 但是动得还不够
[Hugh] Can I ask a more fundamental question? 我能问个关键问题吗
You wouldn't let me climb any higher up that tower. 你不让我在那个塔上爬更高
But you're very happy to let Mel spray a hosepipe of water 但是你却很乐意让Mel在
near an electrical power line. 高压线旁边喷水
Mel sprayed the clock. We're happy with that? Mel把水喷射到时钟上 都没有问题吧？
Or splashed the clock? 水花溅到时钟上？
Yeah, of course, 'cause the splash came off a high surface. 没问题当然 因为水花是从高处落下的
So she splashed the clock, three o'clock on the clock 所以她的水花溅到时钟上 3点钟方向
was four metres 50, so not as high as Noel's metric five ten. 4.5米 没有Noel's的5.1米高
[Greg] Ohh. 噢
What? 啥？
Did the crow win? 乌鸦赢了吗？
He wins literally and morally. 他赢得名正言顺
[he caws] For the crow! 为了乌鸦！
OK, Noel Fielding. Noel Fielding获胜
Alex, just summarise the final scores for that round? Alex 简单总结下这一轮的分数情况？
Just to say, the three people who voted for themselves did worst. 话说 3位给自己投票的表现最差
It was Lolly in fifth, I'm afraid, 恐怕Lolly是第五名
then fourth, Hugh, Joe third, Mel second. 然后第四名Hugh Joe第三 Mel第二
The crow! 乌鸦！
The crow. 乌鸦
What's the scoreboard? 分数情况？
Well, it's very tight, except for Hugh. 非常接近 除了Hugh
Um, there are... 呃 有...
There are three leaders and Lolly's just behind them. 有3位领先 Lolly紧跟其后
It looks like this. 看起来是这样的
- [Greg] Bang. - Joe, Mel and Noel on seven now. - 来了 - Joe, Mel和Noel目前都是7分
[Alex] Look at that. Tight! 看看 很接近
I think I'm ready for another task. 我准备好下一个任务了
- Oh, sorry. I think my, um... - [phone rings] 噢不好意思 我觉得我...
Yes, ah, apparently this means... 啊显然这表示...
Yes, it's time to dance, Greg. 是的没错 到跳舞时间了Greg
That's a green screen. 是绿幕哎
- Hello. - Hi, Lolly. - 你好 - 嗨Lolly
My old friend, green screen. 我的老朋友绿幕
Like a big snooker table. 像个大台球桌
- [Alex] Is it? - Mm-hmm. - 是吗？ - 嗯哼
Is that the...? Hmm. 那是...
Oh, brilliant. 噢太棒了
"Choreograph a dance for you and Alex to perform “用下列任一手机铃声给你和Alex
to any of the following ringtones." 编排一段舞蹈”
"Apex. By the Seaside." “顶峰 海边”
"Night Owl, Playtime, Radiate... Sencha?" “猫头鹰 欢乐时光 辐射 煎茶？”
"Circuit, Crystals..." “往复 水晶...”
"Uplift, Marimba, Strum..." “振奋 马林巴琴 弹奏...”
"Xylophone." “木琴”
"You have 30 minutes to prepare." “你有30分钟时间准备”
"The most stylish dance wins. Your time starts now." “最时尚的舞蹈获胜 现在开始计时”
[Noel grunts] Let's have a listen. 我们来听一下
One, two, three, let's go! 1 2 3 走！
I like this. It's cheeky, innit? 我喜欢这个 很调皮
Like baby dinosaurs. 像恐龙宝宝
We're really gonna hate the song by the end. 我们最后要恨死这首歌了
- Yes. - Yeah. - 是的 - 是
Ooh, yeah. That's more like that. 哦耶 像样多了
Very Mel. 非常Mel
'96. 96
104. 104
Why'd you get on the table, mate? 你为什么在桌子上伙计？
Mind your own business. 关你屁事
How was 1996 for you, Mel? 1996年对于是什么样Mel？
- Oh, awesome. - [Greg] Bangin'? - 噢超棒 - 棒极了？
Barely remember it. 记不太清了
It's all the old whistles, bandanas, trance just came in... 全都是口哨、头巾 恍恍惚惚的...
The whistle. 口哨
Thought I'd blow the whistle. Bring it all back. 我觉得吹下口哨 能让你想起来
- [Alex] Was it like that? - Oh, yeah, sorry! - 像这样吗？ - 噢不好意思！
- I thought you were just stopping me talking. - [Alex] No, you mentioned... - 我以为你是让我闭嘴 - 不是 你提到...
- [laughter and applause] - No, no. 不是不是
[Alex] You mentioned whistles. 你提到口哨声
If only we'd known it was that easy, Hugh. 要是知道这么简单就好了Hugh
Do you want to see her raving? We can start with... 想看她狂舞吗？我们可以从她开始...
[Greg] Yeah, let's see her raving. 好啊 我们看看她狂舞
There is an unfortunate amount of my flesh in this one. 很不幸这里面有一些我的肉体裸露
- [laughter] - Near the end. 快到最后的时候
Oh, is this our dance? 噢是我们的舞蹈吗？
Yes? What did you... 啊？你...
What did you think it was? 你以为是啥呢？
Yeah, it wasn't the other thing we did. 是的 不是咱们做的另一件事
So this is Mel's dance. 这是Mel的舞蹈
[both] Is this Sencha? 这是煎茶吗？
[both] Yes. This is what Sencha is. 是的 这就是煎茶
Incredible. 真棒
What we were looking for, 我们想要的是
I think Alex will agree with me, 我觉得Alex会同意我的观点
is the... the beauty of Sencha... 是煎茶的美
contrasting the gritty urban landscape 与90年代中期 前锐舞时代的英国粗犷城市景象
of mid-90s... pre-rave Britain. 形成鲜明对比
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. - 是吗？ - 是的
The only problem was it wasn't Sencha, it was Radiate. 唯一的问题是那不是煎茶 是辐射
But apart from that. 但是除此以外都同意
- Was it? - [Alex] Yeah. - 是吗？ - 是的
You read the CD wrong, but it was... Yeah. 你看错CD了 但是...是的
There were two back alleys in that video. 视频里有两条巷子
D'you wanna have a look at Alex's back alley? 想看看Alex的后巷吗？
[Alex] Well... 好吧...
I like to imagine that in his back alley 我想象在他的后巷里
there's a tiny Mel and Alex dancing. 有一个小小Mel和Alex在跳舞
[Alex] We're gonna listen to some Sencha now. 我们现在听听煎茶吧
That'd be nice, wouldn't it? 很不错吧？
- Easily done, innit? - Yeah. - 很容易对吧 - 是啊
Noel Fielding chose Sencha and this is his dance. Noel Fielding选择了煎茶 这是他的舞蹈
Talk us through it. 给我们讲讲吧
I wanted to capture the cheekiness of the music. 我想抓住音乐中的调皮感觉
Hence the little shrew move. 所以有小鼩鼱的动作
[Greg] Oh, it was a shrew? 噢那是鼩鼱吗？
It was more of a stoat when Alex did it... 但是Alex做的更像是白鼬...
- Did my best. - but that's OK. - 我尽力了 - 没关系
I'm not sure why we're in Covent Garden at some point. 我不知道为什么我们会在考文特花园里
I don't remember requesting that. 我不记得我有提过这个要求
"I'd like to be a little shrew... “我想做一只考文特花园里的
in Covent Garden." 小鼩鼱”
And just like that, it's the end of part two. 就这样 第二部分结束了
See you shortly. 稍后见
Hello and thanks for returning to Taskmaster. 你好 感谢回到《任务主人》
Before the break, five comedians 在休息前 5位喜剧人
were choreographing dances to ringtones. 正在给铃声编排舞蹈
Who's up next, Alex? 下一个是谁Alex？
Two of them picked the same ringtone, 其中两个人选择了同一首铃声
so we've edited their dances together, 所以我们把他们的舞蹈以及名字
and their names. 剪辑在一起了
They are Joe Adefope and Lolly Lycett. Ready? 他们是Joe Adefope和Lolly Lycett（两人互换了姓氏）准备好了吗？
Argh! 啊
Alex! Alex！
It's OK, though, because friendship is truth and I believe in you all the way. 不过没关系 因为友谊是真理 无论怎样我都相信你
Really moving narrative in yours, I thought. 我觉得你的话真的很感人
When you made that little mistake, 你们那个失误的时候
I thought that that was a genuine mistake. 我以为是真的失误
But it was part of your choreography. 但是其实是编排的一部分
And then I said, "Friendship is truth and I believe in you all the way." 然后我说“友谊是真理 无论怎样我都相信你”
OK. 好吧
What d'you mean, "friendship is truth"? 你是什么意思 “友谊是真理”
Erm, sort of friendship is truth. Truth is friendship. 呃..就差不多“友谊是真理 真理就是友谊”的意思
[Alex] Yeah, yeah. 是的是的
Now I see. 现在我懂了
Joe, was there a message you were hoping to convey? Joe 你的单脚跳想要传达什么信息？
It looked to me like it was a couple of guys bouncing around, 对于我来说 看起来就是一对男士跳来跳去
and then a plane flying down. 然后一架飞机降落了
Yes, that's that it looks like. 是的 看起来是这样
What I was trying to convey with it is that... 我想要通过它传达的是
friendship is truth. 友谊是真理
- [laughter] - Hey, hey. 嘿
So that only leaves Hugh. Here's what happened. 所以只剩Hugh了 事情是这样的
- Whoa! - [laughter] 喔！
We all have a laugh on this show and it's supposed to be a light-hearted thing, 我们都在这个节目里开怀大笑 这应该是件轻松愉快的事情
but I also know that when you put an effort into something, 但是我也知道 当你为一些事情付出努力
especially putting yourself out there creatively, 尤其是创造性地展示自己时
that one has to deal with it sensitively. 应该被谨慎小心地对待
However... 然而...
- [laughter] - On this occasion... 这次...
Horse shit. 胡扯淡
Oh, no! 哦不
Bang! Smashing into last place. bang 直接最后一名
Er, I stuck Joe in fourth place, just because 呃 我把Joe安排在第四名 因为
of the absolute nonsense that Lolly tried to spin about friendship being truth. Lolly胡说八道些友谊就是真理
I just felt like at least she'd made an effort. 我觉得至少她努力了
Thank you. 谢谢你
I cannot split the two works of art that I saw there. 那两件作品我没法区分高下
That's gonna be a joint first. So it's a joint first. 就并列第一吧
[Alex] Your call. 你决定
[Alex] OK. 好的
[Greg] Right, next task. 好 下个任务
Yes, so this one involves loo roll, or toilet paper, but never loo paper. 好的 这一个涉及到卷纸 或卫生纸 但绝不是厕纸
- [Joe] Oh, God. - [Alex] Here we go. - 天 - 我们开始
Ah, look! 看啊！
A T and an M made out of toilet roll. 用卷纸做的字母T和M
- Nice. Like it. - Thank you. - 不错 喜欢这个 - 谢谢
It's a powerful image. 很有冲击力的画面
Excellent. 太棒了
"Create a portrait of a celebrity... “用卷纸创作
using loo roll." 一位名人的肖像画”
"There is a camera above your head." “你的头顶有一架相机”
"The mat beneath your feet is your canvas." “脚下的垫子是你的画布”
"Best portrait wins. You have 20 minutes." “最佳肖像画获胜 你有20分钟时间”
And... 还有...
"Your time starts..." “计时现在...”
very much now. “开始”
So it's like big Art Attack. 就像是大人版《艺术创想》
[Alex] Are you an artistic person, Joe? 你有艺术细胞吗Joe？
Um, well... 呃...
In some ways, but I've never used this as a tool before. 有时候有 但是我以前从来没用过这个
So I guess choose a celebrity, first of all. 我猜首先得选一个名人
OK, hmm. 好吧
I'm gonna think about that for a minute. 我要好好思考一下
Trying to think of someone who's got noticeable features... 在想谁有突出的特征...
that would be easy to do in loo roll. 容易用卷纸表现的
Done. 完成
Thank you. 谢谢
Pleased? 满意吗？
I think so. 还行
I reckon it's gonna be quite accurate. 我觉得应该相当准确了
[Alex] OK. 好的
Are you an artistic sort of man? 你很有艺术细胞吗？
No. 没有
Shall we look at Lolly Adefope's first? 要不要先看看Lolly Adefope的画？
- Yes, please. - OK. - 可以谢谢 - 好的
You can try to work out who that is. 你可以试着猜猜这是谁
If I hadn't seen the bubble... 如果我没有看到那个泡泡...
Gandhi. 甘地
[Alex] But you're ruling out Gandhi because of the bubble? 但是你因为泡泡排除了甘地？
[Greg] What's... what is that? 那是什么？
- It says "Accio." - [Lolly] "Accio." - 写的是“Accio” - “Accio”
"Accio." “Accio”
I'm not 100% sure, but I presume that's something from the... 我不百分百确定 但是我推测这是出自...
repugnant Harry Potter. 令人厌恶的哈利波特
It's a nice picture. I'm not sure how much it looks like Harry Potter. 这幅画不错 但是我不确定它和哈利波特有多像
- OK, you can see Hugh Dennis if you want. - Yes, please. - 如果你想的话 可以看看Hugh Dennis的画 - 可以谢谢
This is his picture. You can guess again who it is. 这是他的画 你可以再猜猜这是谁
- [Mel] That's good. - [Joe] Oooh. - 很棒哎 - 哇哦～
[Greg] Well, the first thing I will say is, it's nice to say something positive to Hugh. 首先我要说 很高兴能对Hugh说一些积极正面的话
Thanks. 谢谢
[Greg] That is a beautiful picture. 非常漂亮的画
[Mel] It's lovely. 很漂亮
- Yeah. Depending on who it is... - [laughter] 是的 取决于这人是谁
You, my friend, could be back in the game here. 你 我的朋友 或许可以重回比赛
I think it's Hugh Grant. 我觉得是休·格兰特
Well, the clue is, you left the room and you came back with a £5 note. 线索是 你离开了房间然后又拿着张5英镑钞票回来了
It's the Queen, isn't it? 是女王
[Alex] It is, weirdly, the Queen. 是的 很奇怪 是女王
[Mel] I think that's good. 我觉得很不错
It looked like a man. 看着像个男人
Amazing how quickly you can pull defeat from the jaws of victory. 很震惊你能如此迅速从胜利的边缘急转直下
- [Greg] Who's next? - [Alex] Noel. - 下一个是谁？ - Noel
- [Mel gasps] - [Greg] Wow. 哇哦
Well, I think that's a self- portrait of Noel Fielding. 我觉得这是Noel Fielding的自画像
Really wonderful picture. I love it. 非常精彩的画 我很喜欢
Joe Lycett did this with his loo rolls. Ready, Greg? Joe Lycett用卷纸做了这个 准备好了吗Greg？
- Yeah, let's have a look. - Here we go. - 准备好了 看一下 - 来看
There's a clue there for you, Greg. 那有个线索给你Greg
Yeah. 是的
[Noel] Is it Pam? 是Pam吗？
Pam... Pam...
ela Anderson? la Anderson？
No, no. 不是
I know who it is. 我知道是谁
It's, uh, Pat. Pat... 是 呃 Pat
It's the actress that plays Pat Butcher. 是扮演Pat Butcher的演员
It's Pam St Clement. 是Pam St Clement
[Alex] It is Pam St Clement. Yeah, well recognised. 是Pam St Clement 认出来了
- It's Pam St Clement. - [applause] 是Pam St Clement
This is Mel's attempt. 这是Mel的画
[quietly] It's not good. 很烂
[Alex] Tough. Tough guess, this. 很难 这个很难猜
- [Greg] John Lennon? - [Alex] Nope. - 约翰列侬？ - 不对
- [Greg] Is it... God? - [Alex] Nope. - 是...上帝吗？ - 不对
Do you wanna try God's son, Jesus? 你想猜是上帝的儿子 耶稣吗？
- Yep. - Nope. - 是的 - 不对
It's... Can you remember? 是...你还记得吗？
Kris Kristofferson. Kris Kristofferson
No, no, no. It's Barry Gibb. It's Barry Gibb, you said. 不不不 是Barry Gibb 你说的Barry Gibb
No, that was Kris Kristofferson! 不是的 那是Kris Kristofferson
Do you wanna see all five together? 你想5个一起看一下吗？
I think Hugh's would be a clear winner... 我觉得Hugh会成为当之无愧的第一...
if it looked anything like the Queen. 如果那幅画有一丁点儿像女王的话
If it even looked female. 即使有一丁点儿像个女性
I'm gonna put that third. 我把这个排第三
I'm gonna put Noel in first place. 我要把Noel排第一
Pam St Clement's in second. Pam St Clement第二
I'm tying Gandhi and Barry Gibb slash Kris Kristofferson in last place. 甘地和Barry Gibb/Kris Kristofferson并列最后
[Alex laughs] OK, there we go. OK, fine. 好的 就这样 没问题
So the winner was Noel Fielding! 所以Noel Fielding获胜！
Let's crack on. What's next, Alex? 我们继续 接下来是什么Alex？
Right, well, it's like gymnastics but with a task. 好的 是个像体操一样的任务
So it's sort of gym... 所以有点像健身...
It doesn't work, but it's gym-task-tics. 不太对 是个体操任务
[he chuckles] Ooh! 噢
What d'you call this? Um... 这东西叫什么？嗯...
Jumping... 跳...
horse? 马？
[Alex] Yes, that's the jumping horse. 对 是跳马
Jumping... jack? 跳...千斤顶？
'Cause they do that thing, don't they? 因为那个就是这么用的对吧
Moscow, 1980. 莫斯科 1980
Very strong on the old, uh... 非常复古
What is this? Is this a pole...? No, it's not a pole vault. 这是什么？这是撑杆吗？不对不是撑杆跳
It's a horse. 是跳马
"Do the most incredible thing with this pommel horse." “用这只鞍马做出最不可思议的事情”
"You have ten minutes. Your time starts..." “你有10分钟时间 计时...”
"when you next blink." “从你下次眨眼时开始”
[Alex] Oh-- 噢
No, you didn't s-- No. 不行 你不能
"When you next blink." “从你下次眨眼时开始计时”
What if I never blink? 我如果永远不眨眼呢？
Ooh. 噢
Imagine if I did this for four hours. 想象一下如果我保持这样4小时
I'm a snake. I've got see-through eyelids. 我是条蛇 我的眼皮是透明的
Eurgh... 呃
OK. 好吧
- [Alex] Is that a blink? - Yeah. - 那是眨眼了吗？ - 是的
- Ugh, I think I blinked. - Yeah, there was a little one. - 呃我觉得我眨眼了 - 是的一小下下
OK. [he laughs] 好吧
I'm gonna... 我要...
- Oh! We're off. - Oh, we're off. - 噢我们开始 - 噢开始吧
Ugh, yeah. OK. 好吧好吧
"Your time starts when you next blink." “从你下次眨眼开始计时”
[Alex] Oh, you blinked immediately, Mel. 噢你立刻就眨眼了Mel
Did I? OK, ten minutes to go. 我有吗？好吧 还有10分钟
So, what are we asking for, again? Just remind me? 再提示我一下要求是什么？
Something incredible involving the pommel horse. 关于鞍马的一些不可思议的事情
Incredible. 不可思议
Let's start off with the athletes, Hugh and Lolly. 我们先从运动员们开始 Hugh和Lolly
[Alex] There you are. 来吧
Erm... 呃...
- [laughter] - I was just testing out the... 我只是测试一下...
[Alex] Happy with that one? 刚刚那个满意吗？
Dunno, I just really like doing that. 不知道 我只是很喜欢做这个
I'll carry on doing that as long as you want. 只要想我可以一直做下去
Well, you've got two more minutes, if you want to... 你还有2分钟 如果你想的话...
Oh, yeah. God, I'd love a go, yeah. 好啊 天啊我想继续做 是的
Um... 呃...
Uh... 呃...
Tried to go for a smaller one there. 试试小一点的
I'm done. 我完事了
OK. 好的
I did think that was incredible. I did think... 我确实觉得很不可思议 真的
- [Alex] 11 leaps in 10 minutes. - [Greg] Yeah. 10分钟跳了11次
I didn't manage to stand up, 'cause the, um... 我没能成功站起来 因为 呃...
If I'd done it straight onto the concrete... 如果直接在水泥地上我可以的
But they wouldn't let me, 'cause of a health and safety issue! 但是他们不让我那么做 出于健康安全考虑
- [Greg] Lolly. - Yeah. - Lolly - 是的
Just to put it in context, she watched a video of the London 2012 Olympics gymnastics 说明一下 她在做之前 看了2012年伦敦奥运会
before what she did. 体操比赛的视频
You genuinely did that? 你真的看了？
OK. 好吧
Let me put forward a hypothesis. 让我来假设一下
If you'd have come out and just stood by the pommel horse and done nothing, 如果你走出来 就站在鞍马前什么都不做
that would've been more incredible. 都比这个强
Joe took a very different approach. Joe采取了截然不同的方法
- Did he? - Yeah. - 是吗？ - 是的
What's that? 那是什么？
[Alex] It's a tennis racket. 是个网球拍
What's it meant to be? 代表什么意思呢？
[Alex] No idea. 不知道
[Alex] Oh! Yes. 噢对
[Joe] Big old horse D. 老马Diao
OK. That is finished, actually. 好的 完成了 实际上
[Alex] Mm? 嗯哼？
What it is, is it's a piece of modern art. 这是一件现代艺术品
It's a very sad scene. 是一个非常悲伤的画面
This horse was ridden here by an elderly gentleman 这匹马被一位老先生骑到这儿
who's gone... 他...
to go and collect something. 离开去取东西
Forgotten to take the Zimmer... 忘记带助行器
and has died. 然后他死掉了
It's a great allegory for our age. 这是我们这个时代的一个伟大寓言
Shall I go now? 我现在能走了吗？
[Alex] I suppose so. 我想是的
[Alex] Why is the horse wearing wellies? 为什么这匹马穿着雨靴？
- 'Cause it's wet out, isn't it? - OK. - 因为地上很湿啊 - 好吧
I was really moved by the story of the old guy. 老先生的故事让我很感动
- It's a very moving story. - I just wondered if you think... - 一个很感人的故事 - 我只是想知道
on reflection, that... 你有没有反思过...
the sadness inherent within that story was slightly diluted 这个故事中的悲伤 稍微有点被
by the weird pommel horse, welly-wearing 穿着雨靴 网球拍...圆锥生殖器...
tennis racket... 的奇怪鞍马
dick cone horse? 冲淡了一些？
I think, if anything, that adds to the beauty. 我觉得 如果一定要说的话 那反倒增添了美感
How so? 怎么说？
I think if I put it into words, then the beauty will be diminished. 我觉得如果用语言表达的话 美感就被消减了
Sadly, it's time to say goodbye to part three. 很可惜 是时候和第三部分说再见了
It's all about part four now. We'll see you there in a minute. 现在该第四部分了 我们一会儿见
Welcome back to part four. What's going on, then? 欢迎回到第四部分 刚刚都发生了什么？
Well, they were trying to do something incredible with a pommel horse. 他们正在试图用一个鞍马做一些不可思议的事情
Lolly and Hugh went for the classic athletic approach. Lolly和Hugh采取了经典的运动方式
Joe did something... else. Joe采取了...其他方式
We're now gonna have a look at-- I'm going for this... 我们现在要看看
Pom-Mel Giedroyc. Pom-Mel Giedroyc
Pom-Mel. OK, ready? Pom-Mel 准备好了吗？
- Pom-Mel Giedroyc. It's a little pun. - Oooh, I like it! - Pom-Mel Giedroyc 一个小双关 - 噢我喜欢
- What a waste of everyone's time. - Let's go. - 真是浪费大家时间 - 我们开始
Where did it go? 它去哪儿了？
Not gonna say. 不告诉你
That is... 是个...
some pretty Las Vegas shit. 相当拉斯维加斯狗屎
Using camera trickery, you managed to make a pommel horse disappear. 你运用镜头技巧让一匹鞍马消失了
- I really enjoyed it. - Sorry, sorry... - 我很喜欢 - 不好意思
You said the words "camera trickery"? 你是说“镜头技巧”？
Yeah. 是的
Did you see the pommel horse after that? Did anyone see it? 你后来看到那匹鞍马了吗？有人看到吗？
No, it had gone. 没有 消失了
- Did you see it in the house? - [Alex] I was there, so don't ask me. - 你在房子里看到了吗？ - 我当时在现场不要问我
I was there, so I saw it being moved by the people. 我在现场 我看到它被人挪走了
You are out of the Magic Circle. 你进不去魔术圈了
The last pommel performer is Mr Noel Fielding. 最后一个鞍马表演者是Noel Fielding先生
The outfit! The outfit was great. 这身装扮 装扮太棒了
Presumably achieved through camera trickery, 大概是通过镜头技巧实现的
or did the people bring you on? 还是人们把你带上去的
No, that was actually magic, that one. 不是的 这一个是真正的魔术
Yeah, it was really great. 是的 非常棒
Hang on, and mine wasn't? 等等 我的不是吗？
Yeah, that one he [snaps fingers] did that, 是的 这一个 他（打了个响指）
dressed as a Russian peasant woman, and I turned... 打扮成俄罗斯农妇 然后我...
I turned from a pommel back into me. 我从鞍马变回我自己
You've got to judge this, I'm afraid, Greg. 恐怕你得打分了Greg
Right. 好的
Obviously, I'm putting Lolly in last place. That goes without saying. 很显然我要把Lolly排在最后 这不用说了
Come on. 拜托
Then I'm gonna put horsey... 然后我要把马..
I'm gonna put Horsey D and the little Russian peasant woman 我要把老马diao和俄罗斯小农妇
- in joint next place. - [Alex] OK, joint third. - 并列下一名 - 好的并列第三
And then I'm gonna put the best performance by far in joint first place 然后我要把目前最好的表演 以及
with the pity vote for Hugh jumping over the pommel horse. 给Hugh跳鞍马的同情票一起并列第一
OK, so one point to Lolly, three points to Joe and Noel, 好的 所以Lolly1分 Joe和Noel3分
and then five points to Mel and Hugh. Mel和Hugh5分
- [Greg] CORRECT! - [Alex] OK! - 没错！ - 好的
Hey, Alex, what are the scores? 嘿Alex 分数怎么样了？
It's tight at the top. Mel and Noel, one point separating them. 第一名的竞争很激烈 Mel和Noel只相差一分
There we go. 这样子
Right, up you get. There's one more thing to do. 好了到这儿了 还剩一件事要做
Please head to the stage for the final task of the show! 请前往舞台进行节目的最终任务！
Let's find out what the task is. 让我们看看任务是什么
Noel, would you please read this week's final task? Noel 可以请你读一下本周的最终任务吗？
- Here we go, Noel. - Thank you. - 开始吧Noel - 谢谢
"Make the highest tower using these tubes." “用这些管子搭建最高的塔”
"You have a hundred seconds." “你有100秒时间”
[Alex] Make the highest tower. We're gonna measure the tower 搭建最高的塔 我们将测量
from the base of the tower to the top of the tower. 从塔的底部到顶部的高度
- Yep! - Good luck. - 好的 - 祝好运
Your time starts... [blows whistle] 计时...
[Alex] Bit of tension. 有点激烈
[Alex] Very tense. Very tense start. 非常激烈 开头很激烈
- Keeping it like that? - Yeah, I think so. - 就保持这个样子？ - 嗯我想是的
[Alex] Still one minute left. 还有1分钟
You're just keeping like that, are you? 你就保持这样子了？
It's from the table to the thing...? 是从桌子到...
It's from the bottom of the thing to the top of the tower. 是从这个的底端到塔的顶端
Whoa! 哇
[Alex] There's 20 seconds, there's 20 seconds. 还有20秒 还有20秒
Come on, Hugh! 加油Hugh
There's two seconds left, two seconds left! 还有2秒 2秒钟！
[Joe] Fuck. 靠
Fuck. 靠
I guess we've got three here, we've got three with Mel. 这儿有3个 Mel有3个（管子高）
Three length-wise high. 3个纵向的高度
You've got a choice between the two or the tower. 你可以从这两个和塔之间选一个
No, no, they're joined. 不不 它们是连在一起的
Oh. 噢
- [laughter] - Yeah, they're not. 没连在一起
Well, no, every atom in the... 不是 这里面每个原子都...
We've got a choice with Lolly's. Are we going... Lolly也要选择 是...
the Stonehenge or the double Horsey D? 巨石阵还是双马D?
Erm... the one that's higher. 呃...更高的那个
Two there. So, two, two, three... 这里2个 所以2，2，3...
Basically, Mel and Hugh have got three, the others have got two. 基本上 Mel和Hugh有3个 其他人2个
- Simple as that. - Right, there we go. - 就这么简单 - 好的搞定
Come down, let's see how that's affected the final scores. 下来吧让我们看看对最终分数有什么影响
[Alex] I'm back. 我回来了
Well, pretty impressive tower-tasking. 让人印象深刻的造塔任务
In a way. It was probably the most cautious task we've ever had. 某种程度上说 可能是我们做过的最小心谨慎的任务
It was very cagey. A cagey fight rather than a... 非常谨慎 与其说是一场笼斗 不如说是...
cage fight. 一场谨慎的战斗
- But, um... - [laughter] 但是...
In joint third, we've got Noel, Lolly and Joe, 并列第三名 我们有Noel, Lolly和Joe
but the two joint winners of that task were Hugh and Mel. 但是这个任务的并列赢家是Hugh和Mel
[Greg] Lovely! 漂亮！
I need to tell you the series scores. 我需要说一下本季分数
It's the exact mid-point of the series, 这场比赛恰好是本季的中段
and the scores are... disparate. 比分...悬殊
Hugh at one end with Lolly, and Noel way off in the distance. Hugh和Lolly在一端 而Noel则远远甩开了距离
That's 78 points after four shows. 4集比赛后有78分
[Greg] Four shows left, still all to play for. 还剩4场比赛 还没结束
But, you know, this is all very well. 但是 目前都很好
Let's celebrate tonight's winner. 我们先来庆祝今晚的获胜者
Those tubes meant that, overtaking Noel at the very last minute, 那些管子意味着 Mel Giedroyc在最后一刻
was Mel Giedroyc. We can see her here. 反超Noel 我们可以看一下
With her second win of the series, 本季第二次获胜
the winner of five surprising pictures, it's Mel. 赢得5张令人惊讶照片的人 是Mel
- Please go and collect your prizes! - Oh, thank you! - 请去领取你的奖品！ - 噢谢谢！
So, what have we learnt today? Well... 所以我们今天学到了什么？
We've learnt that friendship is truth. 我们学到了 友谊是真理
That some have a tennis racket instead of a big old D. 有些东西有一个网球拍而不是大jb
And some Russian peasant women turn out to be Noel Fielding. 以及一些俄罗斯农妇原来是Noel Fielding
That was episode four of Taskmaster. Thanks for watching. 这就是《任务主人》第四集 感谢观看
Well done, Mel, and goodbye! 干得好Mel 再见！