你知道吗
根据维基百科 世界上平均每人都与超过1800万人同一天生日
没有证据显示同一天生日的人生活上会有任何相似行为
如果有...
那就是维基百科还没替我们找到
#我能听见你沉默的心绪# #Spirit of my silence I can hear you#
BGM:《Death With Dignity》 - Sufjan Stevens
我们的生活 第一季 第1集
#但我却不敢靠近# #But I'm afraid to be near you#
家人的照片
#我不知该从何开始# #And I don't know where to begin#
我准备好了 Okay, I'm ready.
你保证喜欢我送的礼物吗 You promise you like your gift?
这条毛巾吗 简直糟透了 The towel? It's absolutely terrible.
穿戴好了吗 Suit's on?
-是的 -你的生日礼服[双关"裸体"] - Yes, ma'am. - Your birthday suit.
就一条毛巾 Only one I've got.
我只能把内衣套在外面了 I had to put the lingerie on top of my clothes.
看出来了 I see that.
这感觉一点也不好 It wasn't a great moment for me.
尊重传统嘛 Tradition is tradition.
是啊 不过今年呢 Yeah. But I'm gonna go ahead
我们就不跳撩人生日舞折磨彼此了 and spare us both the seductive birthday dance this year.
抱歉宝贝 今天是我生日 I'm sorry, baby, but it's my birthday,
而我非常非常想看生日舞 and I would really, really like to see the dance.
恶心到了别怪我 Your funeral.
准备好了吗 Ready? Mm-hmm.
喜欢吗 You like it, right ?
你是想看这个吗 This is what you want?
撩一下衣服 A little of that.
是不是想看这里 A little of that, for you?
我真想用那条毛巾噎死你 I will gag you dead with that towel.
我错了 Okay, okay.
-我不笑了 -能不能行 - I'm quiet. - Come on.
36只是一个数字 生日快乐
#桌上摆放着紫水晶和鲜花# #Amethyst and flowers on the table#
一勺就是整整250卡路里
#不知是真是假# #Is it real or a fable#
不要吃
快把这些垃圾扔了
#我想朋友总归只是萍水相逢# #Well, I suppose a friend is a friend#
生日派对前你不许碰蛋糕 爱你 凯特
#我们都知道结局将会如何# #And we all know how this will end#
拜托 你怎么回事
真过分 You suck.
#你会用哪首歌悼念逝去的生灵# #What is that song you sing for the dead#
#我看见探照灯光照向我# #I see the signal searchlight strike me#
#透过窗子 照进房间# #In the window of my room#
好消息
方便说话吗 老板 Got a sec, boss?
是 怎么了 Yeah. What's up?
#祝你生日快乐# #Happy birthday to you#
#祝你生日...# #Happy birthday...#
-这... -#快乐# - Yeah... - #to you#
#祝你...# #Happy...#
#我原谅你了 妈妈 我能听见你的声音# #I forgive you, mother, I can hear you#
《理查三世》
《靓男保姆》
#我多想靠着你# #And I long to be near you#
我们特别喜欢你演的剧 We love your show.
要来跳个舞吗 Do you want to dance?
不了 不过... Uh-uh. No. But, um,
你们随便玩 you know, you go ahead.
今天是我生日 It's my birthday today.
36岁了 36 today.
-根本看不出来 -客气了 - You don't look 36. - Yeah,
看得出来 I do.
#祝你36岁生日快乐# #Happy 36th birthday to you#
#祝你36岁生日快乐# Happy 36th birthday to you
#我怀了三胞胎# #I have triplets inside of me#
#我是杀人鲸# #I am Shamu#
#我们都知道结局将会如何# #And we all know how this will end#
三个小家伙 Hey, Big Three.
你们三个知道我有多爱你们妈妈吗 Do you three know how much I love your mother
你们能想象得到吗 I mean, do you even have any idea?
能 快闭嘴吧 Yeah, we do. Now shut up
让你家胖婆娘好好睡个觉 and let your fat-ass wife go to sleep.
不行 生日传统一定要坚持 No. No, no, no. Birthday tradition is birthday tradition.
闭好眼睛哦 孩子们 So close your eyes in there, kids,
因为爸爸要对妈妈做坏坏的事情了 because Daddy's about to do some real terrible things to Mommy.
#我看见探照灯光照向我# #I see the signal searchlight strike me#
找到他了 威廉·希尔 62岁 家庭住址: 费城林肯街14号公寓4B
#透过窗子 照进房间# #In the window of my room#
#燕子探寻到了我的踪迹# #Chimney swift that finds me be my keeper#
#在雪松上留下斑驳剪影# #Silhouette of the cedar#
#你会用哪首歌悼念逝去的生灵# #What is that song you sing for the dead#
你怎么会现在对我有性趣 How could you possibly want me right now?
#我看见探照灯光照向我# #I see the signal searchlight strike me#
老婆 你对我来说随时都是诱惑 In any state, my wife, you arouse me.
#透过窗子 照进房间# #In the window of my room#
我能让你一秒忍回去 I bet I can make that go away.
-你说什么都改变不了...-我羊水破了 - There's nothing you can say that's... - My water just broke.
-是吗 -对 - Yep? - Yeah.
我觉得我的人生偏离轨道 You know when I think it all went wrong for me
是在1986年 小学二年级 was 1986, second grade.
当时挑战者号正要发射到太空 They were sending the Challenger up into space.
你们记得挑战者号吧 You remember the Challenger, right?
-桑德拉·布洛克演的呗 -不是 - Yeah. With Sandra Bullock? - No.
演员 出演《地心引力》
是克里斯塔·麦考利夫 Christa McAuliffe, right?
社会学教师 因挑战者号失事而牺牲
她本来会成为第一位进入外太空的教师 She was gonna be the first teacher into space.
她本来将会改变世界的 She was actually gonna change the world.
虽然不知道如何改变 但我就是相信 I don't know how, but you could feel that, you know?
至少在二年级的时候 我很相信 At least, in second grade, you could... you could feel it.
那天上学 Middle of the school day,
老师抬进来一台电视 the teacher brings in a TV, right?
我们都坐着 看发射现场 We're all just sitting there, watching the launch,
一群七八岁的孩子坐在一起看 a bunch of seven-year-olds just-just watchin'.
突然一声巨响 And all of a sudden, boom!
飞船直接爆炸了 The whole thing explodes.
克里斯塔·麦考利夫的碎片 Little pieces of sweet Christa McAuliffe
洒遍了佛罗里达州的土地 come raining down all over the state of Florida.
太惨烈了 It was awful.
也许就是那时 我意识到了 Maybe that's when I realized trying to change the world
改变世界就意味着 just leads to being blown up
被炸成碎片四处飘散 into little pieces all over Florida.
所以我才成了《靓男保姆》的演员 Maybe that's how I wound up as the Man-ny.
我妹电话 It's my sister.
凯特 Kate?
你...你没有冰块了 所以... You... you didn't have any ice, so...
这可真是人生低谷了 Well, this is a low point.
我们36了 We're 36.
正式进入三十的后半段 We're officially late 30s.
马上就要奔四了 Like, we are deep in the threes.
没错 Yep.
我怎么会到这种地步 How did I get here?
我怎么会变成这幅样子 Like, how the hell did I get here?
还记得二年级 挑战者号爆炸吗 Remember second grade, the Challenger explosion?
别再提挑战者号爆炸这事了 You have got to stop with the Challenger explosion.
肯定有关系 There's something there.
你是我这辈子唯一美好的事情 小凯 You're the only good thing in my life, Kev.
我可没那么好 得了吧 I'm not that great. Come on.
我知道 I know.
所以我才更惨 That's what makes it worse.
我憧憬着 I had this...
自己梦想中的生活 whole dream life that I envisioned for myself.
有份正经工作 A real career... ?
嫁一个老爸那样的男人 I would marry a man like Dad.
做个妈妈那样的老妈 I would be a mom like Mom.
可你看看我 小凯 But look at me, Kev.
我把自己的梦想吃了个精光 Like, I ate my dream life away.
你想让我怎么安慰你 So what do you... what do you want me to say to you, huh?
好妹妹 只要能让你好受点 Wh-What... Give me the magic phrase, sis,
你想听什么 我都跟你说 to say to make you feel better and I'll say it.
让我别再自怨自艾之类的 Tell me to quit feeling sorry for myself. I don't know.
让我振作起来 让我... Tell me to wake the hell up. Tell me,
让我减掉这身该死的肥肉 tell me to lose the damn weight.
别再自怨自艾 Quit feeling sorry for yourself.
明白吗 马上就可以开始 振作起来 All right? That can start right now. Wake the hell up.
还有 还有... And-and, you know...
第三... 第三是什么事来着 the... What was the... what was the third thing?
减掉这身该死的肥肉 Lose the damn weight.
要再说一遍吗 You want to say that again?
我要减掉这身该死的肥肉 I'm gonna lose the damn weight.
你比看起来要聪明多了 You are a lot smarter than you look.
迈克尔·贝[著名导演]也这么说我 That's what Michael Bay told me.
放松点 Here you go.
好 谢谢 Oh, yeah. Thank you.
你有没有意识到 Hey, do you realize me and the kids
我跟孩子们会是同一天生日 are gonna have the same birthday?
-对啊 -是啊 - I know. - Yeah.
不过提前六周也早太多了 Still, six weeks early is pretty early.
是啊 我知道 Yeah. I know.
这东西能干什么用啊 What the hell could this thing possibly be for?
是做肛检的 It's for rectal examinations.
那个已经用过了 That one's from the dirty pile.
抱歉 Sorry.
我是卡托斯基医生 Now, then, I'm Dr. Katowski,
你们可以叫我医生或者卡医生 but you can call me Doc or Dr. K,
人们一般都这么叫我 which is what most people choose to do
因为这样更亲切 because it's folksy.
这么说你是施耐德医生的同事 So you work with Dr. Schneider?
来做个深呼吸 亲爱的 Take a breath for me, dear.
深呼吸 Deep breath, now.
很好 There you go.
好了 放松点没 很好 很好 All right. You relaxed? Good, good, good.
一小时前施耐德医生阑尾破裂 Dr. Schneider's appendix burst an hour ago.
他刚刚去做手术了 He just went into surgery.
别怕 别怕 听我说 No, no, no, no, no. Now, stay with me.
老天啊 不行 我需要施耐德医生 Oh, God. No, I need Dr. Schneider.
-因为他了解我的... -听我说 - 'Cause he knows about... - Stay with me now.
虽然疼得直叫唤 Between his screams of agony,
施耐德还是让我掌握了你的所有情况 Schneider brought me up to speed on everything concerning your case.
我知道你怀的是三胞胎 I know all about these triplets,
-我知道你是高危妊娠 -是的 - and I know that this is a high-risk pregnancy. - Yeah.
但你一定会平安无事的 But everything's gonna be all right.
你是在跟我们开玩笑吗 This is some kind of bad joke, right?
不好意思 我没开玩笑 It is not, unfortunately.
亲爱的 现在我要你注意听我说 Now, sweetheart, I'm gonna get straight to your first concern.
看着我 看着我 Look at me now. Look at me.
看到我了吗 我今年73了 Do you see me? I am 73 years old.
-知道这意味着什么吗 -不知道 - You know what that means, don't you? - No.
这意味着我不能像以前一样跑得那么快 That means I don't run wind sprints as fast as I used to,
但我的身体机能依然十分良好 but my faculties are otherwise completely intact.
有时我倒是希望不那么好 There are days that I wish they weren't,
那样我就能退休去安度晚年 because then I would retire and spend my remaining days
做点更有意思的事 doing something more glamorous
而不是把七八斤重的孩子从产道里拽出来 than pulling eight-pound objects out of women's vaginas.
不过在那之前 But until that time,
我每天都会来医院 I keep showing up here every day.
明白了吗 All right?
我也知道 对你来说我完全是个陌生人 I'm also aware that I'm a complete stranger to you,
而今天是你人生中最重要的日子 and this is the biggest moment of your life.
是的 Yeah.
好了 亲爱的 听我说 All right? Honey, listen to me.
我是最好的医生 I am the best of the best.
我以我儿孙的性命向你保证 And I swear to you, on the lives of my children and my grandchildren,
我能胜任这场手术 that I am up to the task.
-好吗 -好的 - All right? - Okay.
-那好 -谢谢你 - All right. - Thank you.
很好 All right. Good.
那么 你们俩谁是孕妇 Now, which one of you's pregnant?
这就是逗你玩了 Now, that was a bad joke,
不过你还要继续做深呼吸 but you just continue to take those deep breaths...
让我看看 看看这儿有没有我的同族人 Let's see... let me see if any of my people are here.
我来做个小测试 不许说话[希伯来语] Let me take a little test. Sheket bevakasha!
你是犹太人 你也是 Jew! Jew!
还有你 Jew!
好了 注意了 All right, hey! Come on!
准备...开拍 And... action!
《靓男保姆》
我怎么才能让你开心点 What can I do to make you feel better, huh?
想让我喂你奶吗 You want me to breastfeed you?
我喂你喝奶 你会开心点吗 Would that make you feel better, if I breastfed ya?
是吗 来吧 咱们试试... Yeah? Here we go. Let's try to...
很抱歉 伙计们 我得暂停一下 I'm-I'm sorry, guys. I need to cut. Uh...
抱歉 各位 出了点技术故障 Sorry, everybody. A little technical difficulty.
谁想要纪念衫 Who wants a T-shirt ?
-伙计 -怎么了 - Hey, man. - What's up?
很抱歉 我在试着理解我的角色 I'm sorry. You know, I'm trying to understand, for my character,
我们是在暗示 you know, um, are-are we suggesting, you know,
主人公真以为一个成年男人能给孩子喂奶吗 that the Man-ny thinks a grown man can breastfeed a baby?
难倒主人公是脑残吗 Are we saying the Man-ny's got brain damage?
我可以把嗓音装得像点 'Cause I could do a voice.
凯文 我知道你在乎 Kevin, I know you care.
我知道你在乎这个角色 I know you care about the character.
我确实在乎这个角色 谢谢 I do care about the character. Thank you.
我还知道你已经三十多岁 I also know that you're a 30-something-year-old actor
可你演过的最重要的角色 whose biggest previous role
只是《音乐之乡》里出现三集的龙套 was a three-episode arc on Nashville.
好好念台词 不然就另谋高就吧 So say the line or find another job.
相信我 在你回到你的车上之前 Because trust me when I say that I'll have you replaced
我就能找到瑞安·高斯林 瑞安·菲利普 by Ryan Gosling, Ryan Phillippe, or Ryan Reynolds
瑞安·雷诺兹[皆为著名演员] or any other handsome Ryan
或者别的叫瑞安的帅哥顶替你 by the time you get to your car.
相信我 收视率会上去的 And believe me, my ratings will go up.
瑞安·高斯林才不会拍这种垃圾 Ryan Gosling would never do this crap.
你说得对 凯文 You are right, Kevin.
瑞安·高斯林绝不会拍这种垃圾 Ryan Gosling would never do this crap.
记住了 Remember that.
加油 安妮 Come on, Annie!
去抢球 亲爱的 Go get the ball, hon!
爸爸 Hi, Daddy!
宝贝 球在那儿呢 Hi, sweetheart! There's the ball!
你不去踢球吗 You want to play soccer?
-球... -她怎么样 - It... ? - How's she doing?
我觉得她在为下半场保存体力 Uh, I think she's saving it for the second half.
她呢 How's about her?
-弄哭四个男孩了 -这才是我家小霸王 - Four boys crying and counting. - That's my little bad ass.
-换吗 -换 - Switch? - Switch.
-那是... -法式辫 没错 - Is that a... - French braid. Yes.
两股头发交织一下 宝贝 Over, under, back through, baby!
-妈妈 -好吧 她交到个朋友 - Hi, Mommy! - All right, well, she made a friend.
我找到他了 I found him.
我父亲 My father.
什么 什么时候 What? When?
我雇了个人 I, uh... I hired a guy.
花了大概一千五百块 It cost about 1,500 bucks.
我拿信用卡付的 你会看到的 Now, I paid for it on the Amex. You're gonna see it.
是我自己那张卡 不是办公用的 It's the personal Amex, not the business Amex.
-我知道 我不在乎是哪张卡 -我知道 - I know, I don't care about the Amex. - I know.
-那你打算... -不 - So you're gonna... - No.
为什么 Why not?
因为她是个瘾君子 在分娩时就去世了 Because she was a crack addict who died during childbirth,
而那个男人把我丢在消防局门口 and he was the guy who left me at a fire station,
可能仅仅因为他想不到更老套的办法 probably because he couldn't think of anything more cliche.
那你为什么还去找他 So why'd you find him?
我不知道 贝丝 I don't know, Beth.
我真不知道 I really don't know.
好球 Oh! Go!
太棒了 苔丝 Way to go, Tess!
友谊第一 宝贝 Sportsmanship, baby!
不好意思 Excuse me.
能给我吗 Do you mind?
然后我对自己说 "塔尼亚 And so, I said to myself, "Tanya,
你已经完成了最初的目标 You have done what you have set out to do.
你减掉了体重 You have lost the weight.
现在你可以帮别人变得和你一样苗条" And now you can help others be skinny like you."
谁想先来分享一下 So, who would like to share first?
我每次开始节食 Every time I'm going on a diet,
他就给我捣乱 he sabotages me.
那天半夜 我老公发现 Well, my husband found me eating out of the fridge
我又在冰箱里翻吃的 in the middle of the night again the other night.
我在努力 I'm trying.
我没给你捣乱 玛莎 I'm not sabotaging you, Marsha.
我知道自己身上没有你们的问题 I know I don't have the same issues as everyone here.
但你们体会不到 像我这么苗条的人 But you guys don't know what it's like looking like me
怀着六七斤的孩子是什么感觉 and carrying around that extra seven pounds in your midsection.
要我说 For me,
就得怪我妈 it was my mom.
她从不让我们吃披萨 She never let us eat pizza.
所以我现在一看见披萨 And so now, every time I see a pizza,
就忍不住要把整块披萨都吃光 I mean, I have to eat the entire thing.
如果互助会也没用 If this doesn't work,
我只能用订书机把胃订上 接受现实了 I might just have my stomach stapled and just be done with...
不好意思 I am sor... I'm sorry.
我只是在脑补订书机 I was just-- I was picturing the stapler.
实在是太失礼了 And it's-- which is totally inappropriate.
我道歉 I apologize.
我比你胖多了 如果这么说... I'm way fatter than you if it...
能让你好受些 means anything.
咖啡 Mmm, coffee.
你好 Hi.
这些人讨厌我 Boy, these people hate me.
你有点越界了 You kind of crossed the line.
不过你笑了 Yeah, you laughed.
因为越界对我来说是家常便饭 That's because I live across the line.
好吧 Okay.
托比 Toby.
凯特 Kate.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
你想成为胖友吗 So, you want to be fat friends?
当然 Sure.
不过我正打算减肥 But I'm gonna lose the weight.
我不这么打算 I'm probably not.
好吧 Okay.
我现在可不能和一个胖子谈恋爱 I can't fall for a fat person right now.
好吧 Well...
那看来我得减肥了 I guess I'll lose the weight then.
呼吸 小贝 呼吸 呼吸 呼吸 Breathe, Bec. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe.
呼吸 呼吸 Breathe. Breathe.
深呼吸 小贝 Deep breath, Bec.
深呼吸 深呼吸 Deep breath, deep breath.
深呼吸 看着我 深呼吸 Deep breathe, look at me, deep breathe.
加油 There you go.
加油 就快成功了 差不多了 There you go, almost done, almost done.
加油 加油 There you go. Hey, there you go.
宝贝 我接下来两小时说的话别放心上 Baby, I'm sorry for anything I'm gonna say in the next two hours.
我全都不是故意的 I mean none of it.
肯定有一部分是故意的 You're gonna mean some of it.
-就一点点 -有道理 - Very little of it. - Fair enough.
我有点庆幸施奈德得了阑尾炎了 I'm almost glad Schneider's appendix burst.
我喜欢你们两个 I like you two.
既然我是你的新医生 Now since I'm new here,
也许我们该在事态恶化之前 I thought we might have a conversation now
先聊聊 before things get more intense.
好主意 Yeah, that sounds nice.
你说你都有孙子辈了 So, you said you have grandchildren?
不是聊这个 Not that kind of conversation.
我知道施奈德医生跟你们说过 Now. I know that Dr. Schneider talked to you about
胎位的事情 the positioning of the babies,
以及这次分娩的复杂情况 and how complicated this delivery could get.
-我认为我们应该... -不好意思 - I thought we should... - I'm sorry,
不 我们不想聊这个 no, we're not gonna have this conversation.
杰克 我们得谈... Jack, we need to have this...
我们不谈这些 因为那不会发生 We're not having this conversation, because it's not gonna happen.
我们得讨论一下... Well, we need to talk about...
我们会带着三个健康的宝宝 We are walking out of this hospital with
和健康的妻子一起走出医院 three healthy babies and one healthy wife.
当然 但我们还是得... Absolutely, but we still...
我在新家准备了三张婴儿床 I have three cribs at our new home
新家是我们特别买的 that we bought specifically
-为了让三个孩子在里面长大 -我明白 - for our three children to grow up in. - I understand.
我母亲 我母亲 My-my mother, my mother
-还织了三件连体衣 -我知道 - has already knitted three onesies. - I know.
而她在编织方面不是很在行 And she's a slow, no-talent knitter.
而且今天恰巧是我的生日 It's also happens to be my birthday today,
今天注定是 which tends to be
我们家的大日子 是我的头号幸运日 a pretty great day in our house, a day when I get pretty lucky.
所以我请在座的各位相信我 So I'm gonna need everyone in this room to believe me
今天这里只会有好事发生 when I say that only good things are gonna happen here today.
事实上 Actually...
我不仅希望你们相信 I-I don't just want you to believe it,
我还希望你们清楚知道 I want you to know it.
你清楚吗 宝贝 Do you know it, baby?
我爱你 I love you.
我清楚 我清楚 Yeah, I know it. I know it.
你清楚吗 医生 Do you know it, Doc?
我知道我喜欢你 I know I like you.
我们这就开始 让你心想事成 Let's just start there, get you what you want.
好 Okay.
把我下午的安排取消 Hey, clear my afternoon?
-可是先生 那... -谢谢 - But sir, what about... - Thanks.
来了 来了 Yeah, yeah.
别敲了 Stop all that banging,
你刚敲门 我就听见了 I heard you the first time, banging on the door.
到底是谁... Who the hell is...
我叫兰德尔·皮辛 我是你亲生儿子 My name is Randall Peasing. I'm your biological son.
36年前你把我遗弃在消... 36 years ago you left me at the front door...
不 等一下 让我把话说完 No, hold on, just let me say this.
36年前你把我遗弃在消防局前门 36 years ago you left me at the front door of a fire station.
别担心 我不是来问你要什么的 Now, don't worry, I'm not here because I want anything from you.
我伟大的养父母把我抚养得很好 I was raised by two incredible parents,
我有自己的幸福家庭 而且... I have a lights out family of my own, and...
看见停在你家门前的车了吗 that car you see parked out in front of your house?
是我现付14.3万买的 Cost $143,000 and I bought it for cash.
我付现金就因为我高兴 I bought it for cash because I felt like it,
因为我有钱任性 and because I can do stuff like that.
看到吗 我这么出人头地 Yeah, you see, I turned out pretty all right.
可能让很多人出乎意料 Which might surprise a lot of folks
毕竟36年前 considering the fact that 36 years ago
我只是那个躺在破篮子里 my life started with you leaving me on a fire station doorstep
裹着沾满屎的尿片 with nothing more than a ratty blanket
被你遗弃在消防局门阶上的孩子 and a crap-filled diaper.
我今天到这来就是想当面 I came here today so I could look you in the eye,
把这些话告诉你 然后回到我的豪车里 say that to you, and then get back in my fancy-ass car
最终向我自己证明 也向你证明 and finally prove to myself, and to you,
更向爱我的家人证明 and to my family who loves me,
我压根不需要从你那得到什么 that I didn't need a thing from you,
哪怕我知道了你的身份 even after I knew who you were.
你要进来吗 You want to come in?
好 Okay.
你有什么话想对我说吗 So is there something you want to say to me?
没有的话 我赶时间 'Cause otherwise, I really need to get going.
你想让我说什么吗 You want me to say something?
不 我说了 我不想从你那得到什么 No, I told you, I don't want anything from you.
-但你来了 -只是想告诉你那些话 - But you're here. - Just to tell you that.
好吧 Well...
我都听到了 I've been told.
如果你只是想坐在这儿找借口 You know what? If you're just gonna sit here making excuses...
-我没找借口 -因为你找不到 - Didn't make any excuses. - Because there's nothing you can say.
所以我并没有找借口 Didn't say anything for just that reason.
我觉得你是想让我忏悔 然后对我说 Seems to me you want me to try to make amends so you can say,
-"去你妈的" 然后甩门而去 -荒谬 - "Screw you," and storm out of here. - That's ridiculous.
好吧 Okay.
我很想说我记得那一天 但... I'd like to say I remember that day, but...
我真不记得了 I barely do.
我已经把毒戒了 但... I'm clean now, finally, but...
我当时是混街头的 I was on the streets then.
我还记得你妈临死的模样 I remember her dying, your mom,
还记得我们的孩子 remember the baby.
我很想说我记得把你扔在了消防局 I'd like to say I remember leaving you at a fire station,
但我不记得 but I don't.
这不是借口 Not an excuse.
事实上 这也许说明了我这个人 In fact, it probably tells you something about me
记性真的不好 that I don't remember.
我确实很喜欢消防局 I do like fire stations, though,
所以这确实很像 so that sounds like something I'd do
我在情急之下会干的事 if I had to do something, you know?
总之 我不知道你是不是想我赎罪 Anyway, I don't know if that's what you're looking for,
但不管怎样 你大可放心 but either way, you can be sure
我这辈子已经因我的所作所为 this life of mine is punishment enough
受到了应有的惩罚 for the things I've done.
-如果你以为我会原谅你 -我没有 - If you think I'm gonna forgive you... - I don't.
你说得对 我就是想说"去你妈的" No, you were right. I did just want to say, "Screw you,"
然后甩门而去 and storm out of here.
-那你说吧 -去你妈的 - Well, go ahead. - Screw you.
你想见见你的孙女吗 You want to meet your grandchildren?
我去拿外套 I'll get my coat.
孩子 Hey, kid.
你好 艾伦 Hey. Alan.
感谢你能来帮忙 All right. Hey, thanks for doing this, man.
我很感激 I really appreciate it.
说什么啊 我俩不用客气 Oh, please. No thanks necessary.
真的 Trust me.
他们付了我不少钱 They're paying me an absolute fortune.
肯定的 I'm sure.
话说回来 你们这现场不错啊 Great scene for you, by the way.
-你看到了 -是啊 - You know? - Yeah.
说真的 那混蛋要是想写 Tell ya what, when the prick wants to,
还真能写出点名堂 he can actually write.
是啊 Yeah. Well,
咱们片场见 I'll see you out there on the playing field.
祝你好运 孩子 All right. Break a leg, kid.
谢谢你 先生 Thank you, sir.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
掌声有请艾伦·锡克 the great Alan Thicke!
准备...开始 And... action.
我的天 Oh, for God's sake,
我只是想缓和一下气氛 I'm just trying to lighten up the situation here.
我知道 这不就是你常干的事吗 No, I get it. That's what you do, right?
我无足轻重的父亲[双关] My lightweight dad.
-儿子... -别叫我"儿子" - Son... - Don't call me "Son."
走吧 跟你以往一样 Just go. Just do your thing,
走人吧 get out of here.
别这样 儿子 Come on, son...
我说了别叫我"儿子" I said don't call me "Son."
看着那个小女孩 I-I look at that little girl,
为了她我什么都愿意做 I would do anything for her.
你明白吗 如果一辆火车驶来 You understand? Y-You show me a train,
我会义无反顾地为她挡在前面 I'll jump in front of it for her, no question.
她甚至都不是我亲生的 And she's not even mine.
而你在我过去的三十年生命中 I mean, you... you mosey in and out of my life
扮演了一名来去匆匆的过客 the past 30 years like the way you have, I--
我不懂你怎么想的 我也永远不会懂 I don't understand that and I'll never understand you,
所以你赶紧从我眼前消失 so just get the hell out of here.
快走 Just get out.
我希望你离开这里 I want you to get out and this time,
也希望你别再插足我的人生了 I want you to stay the hell out of my life, okay?
-儿子 -滚 - Son... - Leave!
卡 And cut!
他们肯定觉得咱俩表演很成功 All right, they must think we did it.
-是你的功劳 -谢谢 - You did it. - Thank you.
你表现得非常棒 You were fa-- you killed.
-谢谢你来帮我 -太棒了 - Thank you for being here. - Excellent.
现在可以发我工钱了吗 Hey, may I have the envelope, please?
行了 Oh, come on.
你在那里干什么 快过来抱一个 There, what are you doing, come on, get in here.
怎么样 我说会成功的吧 See, I told you, right? I told you!
太棒了 凯文 That's so good, Kevin.
这感觉真好 Oh... That felt good.
现在我们只需要 Now all we need to do is just
赶紧把切换镜头拍了 take a quick whack at the alt pass, huh?
拜托 我们不需要拍切换镜头 Oh, come on, we don't need an alt pass,
你在说啥呢 为什么你... what are you talking about? Why would you--
拍来干嘛 wh-wh-what, for what?
凯文 行了 我们已经谈过了 Kevin, come on, we talked about this.
刚才这段很精彩 剧本就是我写的 You know? I loved it-- I-I wrote it,
但说真的 you know?
我们得再拍一个更轻松的版本 But, um, we just got to, we got to get a lighter version.
来吧 Come on.
把它拍完 Let's get that alt.
就当为了我 好吗 For me, okay?
对了 把上衣脱掉吧 And, uh, lose the shirt.
不穿衣服效果会更好 It's just better without the shirt.
但愿你们"饿"了 I hope you're hungry,
因为我们为你们准备了"披萨"[肉体] 'cause we got some pizza for you!
每个人都喜欢"披萨" Everybody loves pizza!
好吧 All right.
没事 大家不用惊慌 No, it's okay. No, no. Nobody be alarmed.
别惊慌 这不是真的婴儿 Nobody be alarmed, this isn't a real baby.
这个"婴儿"没有知觉 This baby can't feel a thing,
因为一切都是假的 because everything's fake!
上帝不准我们在节目中表现真实的情感 God forbid we have real emotion in this show.
这是个什么东西 What do we got here?
这里有个真的行李箱 We got a real suitcase.
咱们终于有一样东西是真的了 Finally, we got something real.
不 并不是 Oh, no, we don't!
看啊 行李箱里面什么都没有 Look, there's nothing in the suitcase!
你到底要去哪啊 艾伦·锡克 Where the hell are you going, Alan Thicke?
你到了那里以后 And what the hell are you gonna wear,
要穿什么啊 when you get there? Huh?
他行李箱里一件衣服都没有 He's got no clothes in the suitcase!
你们知道吗 我现在开始思考这一切 You know what it is, I'm starting to think about things
事实上 凯西 about things now. It's actually... Casey,
这不是你的错 兄弟 it's not your fault, brother.
节目这么烂 It's not the writer's fault
不怪编剧 this show is so bad.
但它实在是太烂了 And it's so bad!
这也不是电视台播出的错 It's not the network's fault for airing it!
是你们的错 It's you guys!
你们为什么要看这种烂玩意 Why are you watching this stuff?
正是因为你们的要求太低了 It's your fault for demanding so little of us
我们才安于现状 that we settle.
我感觉自己的脸都快丢尽了 I can't feel my face right now,
但你们知道吗 but you know what?
当我接受这份工作的时候 I knew exactly what this job was
就知道它的内容 when I took it.
赚这种钱的我真可耻 Shame on me for taking the money!
把我捧上天的你们也真可耻 Shame on you for making me famous!
我们都很可耻 Shame on all of us!
够了 That's enough.
你在... What are you...
我又不会揍你 兄弟 I'm not gonna hit you, man.
我不会揍你 I'm not gonna hit you!
你把我当成什么暴力分子了吗 What do you... you think I'm some kind of animal?
我只是快被逼疯了而已 I'm just gonna go nuts!
听我说 Listen,
瑞安·高斯林不会接这种烂剧 Ryan Gosling may not do this crap,
我也不会接 and neither will I.
我不干了 I quit...
我不干了 I quit.
很高兴能跟您合作 我是您的忠实粉丝 Great working with you, man. I'm a huge fan.
没错 刚刚挺开心的 Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
丽贝卡 再使把劲 All right, Rebecca, one more big push, now.
就是这样 There you go...
-用劲 -加油 小贝 - Keep pushing! - Come on, Bec.
好了 All right!
好了 All right.
大儿子出来了 First male is out,
他很健康 and he is looking good!
你听到了吗 宝贝 You hear that, baby?
我们生了个男孩 我们生了个男孩 We got a boy! We got a boy!
我们生了个男孩 We got a boy!
谢谢你的努力 女士 Thank you, ma'am.
-宝贝 -有些不对劲 - Baby? - Something's not right.
我感觉有些不对劲 There's something's not right.
医生 Doctor?
护士给她戴下氧气罩 Some oxygen for her, please?
丽贝卡 你做得很好 甜心 Rebecca? You've done real good, sweetheart,
但现在你得休息一会儿 but we need to let you get some rest right now
我可能要换种方式给你接生 好吗 and let's see if I can't take it from here, okay?
不好意思 怎么了 I'm sorry, what's happening?
我要进里面去 I'm gonna have to go in
接生另外两个宝宝 走吧 for the other two people, let's go.
你妻子现在情况不妙 杰克 Your wife is in distress, Jack.
此时此刻 你得相信我 Now, right now, you just need to trust me
别妨碍我做事 and get the hell out of my way.
-等等 我... -赶紧把他弄出去 - No, wait, but I'm... - Get him out of the room, now.
稳住 Stat.
-孩子们 -爸爸 - Guys? - Daddy!
亲爱的 你去帮安妮看看作业 Hey, babe, I need you to help Annie with her homework...
孩子们 Guys...
这位是你们的... this is your, uh...
威廉 William.
他叫威廉 This is William.
-您好 -您好 - Hi. - Hi.
威廉·希尔 William Hill.
你好 Hi.
我是贝丝 抱歉 我是贝丝 I'm Beth. I'm sorry. I'm Beth.
很高兴认识你 贝丝 It's a pleasure meeting you, Beth.
你的裤子破了个洞 You have a hole in your pants.
安妮 Annie!
没关系 确实如此 Oh, that's okay. I actually do.
年轻人不都觉得这样很酷吗 Hey, isn't that what the kids do to be cool?
他们把裤子剪出洞 对吧 They put holes in their pants, right?
但不是这样的 Not like that.
原来是这样 我还以为这样很酷 Well, here I was, thought I was being cool.
那要是我这样呢 哟 你好啊 Wait, what if I do this? Yo, what's going...
-不酷 -不 - No. - No.
我的天 你一定就是苔丝 My, my, my, you must be Tess.
-是的 -我听说你踢足球... - Yes. - I hear you play soccer...
我应该提前打电话的 I should have called.
但我不知道怎么开这个口 I didn't know how to say it out loud.
-所以你干脆就... -我... - So, you just... - I...
我没办法解释 宝贝 I have no explanation, baby.
不管我想说他什么 Like, everything I want to say
对他做什么 到最后都背道而驰 or do around this man, I do the opposite.
就像狗血的情景喜剧 It's like a bad sitcom.
就好像《靓男保姆》或者《怎么了》 It's like an episode of The Man-ny
里面的剧情 or What's Happening!!
他把我扔在消防局 He left me at a fire station
我却请他来我们家 and I invited him into our home.
天啊 亲爱的 你突然大笑干嘛 Oh, my God, baby, you're cracking up.
爸爸 Daddy?
你怎么了 What's happening?
怎么了 What's happening?
-别开玩笑 -是真的 - You're not serious. - I am.
什么 萨丽·菲尔德 Wait, Sally Field?
是的 我喜欢萨丽·菲尔德 告我啊 Yeah. I have a thing for Sally Field. Sue me.
她差不多六十岁了吧 She's, like, 60.
六十岁是性感新潮 你不知道吗 60 is the new sexy. You didn't know that?
等她七十的时候... And when she turns 70...
可要当心了 Look out,
萨丽七十多岁会登上性感的巅峰 Sally is gonna peak in her 70s.
我保证 I promise you.
-好啊 -能向两位推荐甜点吗 - Yeah... - Can I interest you in dessert?
-不用 谢谢 -可以 - Oh, no thanks. - Yes!
-不要 -可以 - No. - Yes.
-不要 -可以 - No! - Yes.
他刚才问的是 He was just asking
他能不能给我们推荐甜品 if he could interest us in dessert.
我同意了 I am saying that he can.
我对甜品非常感兴趣 I am very interested in dessert.
我对甜品深深地着迷 I am utterly fascinated by dessert.
甜品是我一生的挚爱 Dessert is my life's work.
所以 So...
我们买单 谢谢 We will just have the check, please.
谢谢 Thank you.
-谢谢 -谢谢 - Thank you. - Thank you.
我一般不喜欢意大利炖饭 I don't normally like risotto,
但如果你把它捏成团 再下锅炸 but if you put it in a ball form, and-and deep fry it,
我能吃上一千个 I can eat, like, a thousand of them.
今晚过得很开心 托比 I had a really nice time tonight, Toby.
-谢谢你 -是啊 - Thank you. - Yeah.
等一下 不不不 Wait, what? No, no, no.
这就完了吗 What, that's it?
什么意思 What do you mean?
你不想请我进去... I mean, you're not gonna invite me in for a...
喝上一杯或者... a nightcap or...
帮我做一次手活吗 a handy or something?
-真搞笑 -可不是吗 - Cute. - I am.
谢谢 Thank you.
今晚我真的很开心 I did have a really nice time tonight.
好吧 你可以进来喝杯水 Okay. You can come inside for a water.
-好的 -就一杯水 - All right. - A water.
我们已经喝了三四两酒了 We have already had our six ounces of wine.
我知道 I know.
大约含150卡路里 150 calories per six ounce.
是啊 Yeah.
你再这样算热量 You keep counting calories,
我可真要性奋了 and you're gonna really turn me on.
是啊 Yeah.
你想知道一根香肠含多少卡路里吗 You want to know how many, uh, calories are in a sausage?
友善的海豚
这... 这合法吗 Is... but is it even legal?
在我们国家不合法 No. Not in this country.
你想来一炮吗 Do you want to fool around?
不想 I don't.
-好吧 -不 我... - Okay. - No, I...
不 我想 No, I-I do.
只是已经很久没人 It's just been a long time
跟我提出这种要求了 since this has even been an option.
我懂的 Hey. I know, I know.
你不懂 You don't.
我36岁了 I am 36.
并且... And, um...
我这个样子 this...
并不是很养眼 is not a very pretty picture.
-没关系的 -不... - It's okay. - No, it's...
没事的 Hey, it's okay.
凯文 你搞什么 Kevin, what the hell?
为什么你不接电话 Why don't you answer your phone?
我刚在约会 I was on a date.
你好 Yeah, hi.
这就是你减肥课上遇到的风趣胖男孩吗 This is... this is the funny fat guy from fat class?
-你好 -是的 - Hi. - Uh, yeah,
我叫托比 还有那叫互助小组 it's Toby, and it's a support group, but yeah.
我的妈 你不是那个靓男保姆吗 Holy... Wait, are you the Man-ny?
是我 托比 Yes, I am, Toby.
我以前是 I... I was.
等等 你说啥 Wait, what?
你都不上社交软件的吗 You didn't check your phone, Twitter, Facebook, nothing?
-什么意思 怎... -你该看看 - Why? Wha...? - Well, you should.
-因为... -好吧 发生了... - Becau... - Okay, what is hap...
发生了什么 What is happening?
你要为我感到骄傲 好吗 I want you to know you would've been proud of me, okay?
我就是艺术良知的化身 I was the picture of artistic integrity.
你能脱了上衣跟我拍一张吗 Could we do one without your shirt on?
好莱坞今日大新闻 Well, the big news in Hollywood today is, of course,
号外 靓男保姆失控辞演
《靓男保姆》录制现场失控 the Man-ny's on-set meltdown.
我想了想就觉得 Think about this, I'm like, you know,
其实节目这么烂 it's actually not the writer's fault
不怪编剧 that this show is so awful.
我觉得艾伦·锡克挺可怜的 Wow. I actually kind of feel bad for Alan Thicke.
是啊 Yeah.
丽贝卡生命体征正常 Rebecca's vitals are good.
她还会再睡一段时间 She's gonna be asleep for a little while,
她不会有事的 我们时刻监测着她 but she's doing fine. We're monitoring her closely.
好 Okay.
我们失去了第三个孩子 杰克 We lost the third baby, Jack.
我很遗憾 I'm-I'm very sorry.
第... The, uh...
第二个孩子是个女孩 很强壮 second baby is a girl, very strong.
第三个孩子是个小男孩 The third baby was a little boy,
但他的脖子被脐带勒住了 but the, uh, umbilical cord was cutting off his oxygen.
胎死腹中 谁也无力回天 He was stillborn. Nothing anybody could've done.
抱歉 我现在脑子一片混乱 I'm sorry, I'm... I'm not processing anything.
-我妻子呢 -她没事 - My wife? - Is fine.
她很快就会醒过来 And she'll be awake pretty soon.
你有了两个健康漂亮的孩子 杰克 You have two beautiful, healthy children, Jack.
一男一女 Boy and a girl.
但我们失去了第三个孩子 But we did lose the third child.
我想去陪我妻子 I need to be with my wife.
你会的 And you will be.
但她现在需要睡一觉 But she needs to sleep now.
不会很久 你先坐下 But soon. You just sit down.
坐吧 Sit. Sit.
我能陪你坐会儿吗 Okay if I keep you company a second?
好 Yeah.
我能... Okay if I...
跟你分享一些人生心得吗 try and say something meaningful?
好 Yeah.
我妻子去年去世的 I lost my wife last year.
癌症 Cancer.
所以我这把年纪了还在卖力工作 That's the reason I still work so much at my age.
只是想消磨时间 Just... trying to pass the time.
我们结婚53年 We were married 53 years.
五个孩子 十一个孙子 Five children, 11 grandkids.
但我们失去了第一胎 But we lost our very first child
接生时夭折的 during the delivery.
说实话 这就是我从事这个行业的原因 The reason I went into this field, truth be told...
我干接生干了五十年了 I have spent five decades delivering babies.
接生过的孩子多得数不过来 More babies than I can count.
但还是没有哪一天 But there is not a single day that goes by
我没想起我那死去的孩子的 that I don't think of the child I lost.
现在我老了 And I'm an old man now.
我想正是因为我失去的这个孩子 I like to think that because of the child that I lost,
因为他让我... because of the path that...
选择了这条路 that he sent me on,
我才能救回数不胜数的孩子 that I have saved countless other babies.
是的 Yeah.
我想也许有一天 I like to think that maybe one day
你会变成像我这样的老人... you'll be an old man like me...
并向一位年轻人娓娓道来 talking a younger man's ear off, explaining to him
你是如何... how you...
将生活带给你柠檬般的酸楚 took the sourest lemon that life has to offer...
酿成犹如柠檬汽水般的甘甜 and turned it into something resembling lemonade.
如果你能做到 那你还是... If you can do that, then you will still be...
还是能从医院带走三个孩子 taking three babies home from this hospital.
只是 Just...
跟你的计划稍有偏差而已 maybe not the way you planned.
我不知道这话是否有意义 还是我老糊涂了 I don't know if that was meaningful or senile,
但我觉得应该告诉你 but I thought it ought to be said.
你妻子还要再睡一会儿 Your wife'll still be asleep for a little while.
去看你的孩子吧 Go see your babies.
他们很期待见到自己的父亲 They're excited to meet their father.
他们也许摊上个好父亲 I think maybe they got a good one.
不好意思 得哄孩子们去睡觉 Sorry. Just had to put the girls down.
-他们是你的...-我父母 - These people, they're your... - My parents.
我的养父母 Well, my adopted.
就是我父母 They're my parents.
你一直跟他们生活在一起吗 You've been with them your whole life?
一直都是 From the start.
一个消防员发现了我 A fireman found me.
把我送到医院 他们当时也在那 He took me to the hospital, and they were there.
他们说这是命中注定的 They said it felt meant to be.
我想可能是我命好吧 Just one of those lucky breaks, I guess.
消防局 A fire station.
天 我竟然把孩子扔在那 Gee, what a thing to have done.
我该走了 I should get going.
你可以时不时过来看看... Maybe we could have you by every once... ?
不 我想不必了 No, I don't think that's necessary.
不是非逼你来... It's no pressure. I just...
只是我... It's just that I'm...
只是我快死了 I'm dying, is all.
你病了吗 You're sick?
是要死了 不是病了 Dying, not sick.
发病是几个月前的事 Sick was months ago.
不幸的是 我快死了 I'm toward the end, fortunately.
我不知道该说什么 I don't know what to say.
什么都不用说 No, there's nothing to be said.
谢谢你对我这么仁慈 It was a kindness you've shown me,
邀我过来见你的家人 letting me meet them.
想必你爸一直都以你为傲 Your dad must've been very proud of you.
我竟然喝了这么多卡路里 I cannot believe that I'm drinking these calories.
我都把自己的前程给毁了 Since I just torpedoed my career,
我想就算你多摄入点 I think you can afford an extra,
一百还是多少卡路里又怎样 you know, 100 calories or whatever.
-150 -是150 - 150. - It's 150.
如果我只能接《靓男保姆》这种戏怎么办 What if I'm not better than The Man-ny?
如果我就是这种水平呢 What if I am exactly "Man-ny good"?
我不知道我以后要干什么 I don't know what I'm gonna do.
去百老汇 Broadway.
我唱歌不行 Can't sing.
拍黄片吧 Porn.
也许行吧 Yeah, maybe.
我要再来点酒了 I'm gonna get some more of this red.
我遇上大麻烦了 I'm in so much trouble.
我完了 I am screwed.
听着 凯文 Listen, okay, Kevin...
还记得以前每当我们遭遇不顺 Do you remember what Dad used to say?
老爸是怎么说的吗 When something crappy would happen to us?
当我们失意沮丧 Whenever we'd get down,
感觉生活不尽如人意时说的话 whenever we felt like life wasn't going our way?
哪个是你的孩子 Which one's yours?
那两个 Those two.
恭喜啊 双胞胎 Congrats! Twins.
你呢 哪个是你的孩子 How about you? Which one's yours?
都不是 None of 'em, actually.
奇了怪了 Strangest damn thing.
有人把一个新生儿丢在了消防局 Someone left a newborn at my fire station.
我不知道该怎么办 就送来医院了 I didn't know what to do, so I brought him here.
抽烟吗 Smoke?
不用了 谢谢 No. Thank you.
生活真奇妙 Life's strange.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
谢谢 Thank you.
说说吧 小凯 Come on, Kev.
你记得的 You remember.
他怎么说的 What did he say?
就柠檬那句 About the lemons?
-没有柠檬能酸到...-酸到... - There's no lemon so sour... - So sour...
令你做不出美味的柠檬汽水 that you can't make something resembling lemonade.
《靓男保姆》 致我最爱的侄女 爱你们的凯文大伯
很好 障碍清除了 Good. Now that's out of the way.
三个小家伙