I would watch her sleep sometimes.
This dark aura of loneliness
surrounding the bed.
It became the fucking routine, you know,
day in and day out. Sleeping.
Shit!
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
Shit!
Fuck!
Sometimes I would just want to go up to her and...
and shake her,
and scream in her face, wake up!
But I never did.
That was her escape.
So I found mine.
[bell rings]
[students enter the hallway]
Hey Mr. Writer.
Julia!
Mr. Actor is more like it.
Oh yeah? Yeah.
Well, let’s find out.
You're writing about me, I hope?
Of course,
And the anguish of impossible teenage love.
Romeo and Juliet?
No, it's talking about us.
Shut up.
I’m just kidding.
I’m nervous.
Stage fright already?
Me? Never.
My first Broadway show is when I was 21.
Thanks to my wonderful mentor who taught me what it was like to do
8 shows a week on Broadway for a year and a half.
I did two others.
Then I moved to L.A., where I had a weekly series on three different networks.
I did two features, one of which they play on cable every summer.
So ah...
who are some of the famous people that you know?
Okay, enough about me.
We're here to work.
Let's get you guys into pairs.
Okay.
Oh!
this is my assistant, Marianne.
She's been a student and a friend of mine for years.
She's here to help out with any questions.
No, no. Fuck it!
I want you out!
Get your shit and leave.
Tonight.
Okay.
Sorry, I cursed. I wasn’t supposed to curse.
Okay. No, that's. That's okay. That's okay.
You felt it.
You went for it.
It’s instinct.
Didn't seem real?
Because I mean, it felt real.
You scared me.
[Marianne burst out in laughter]
It's very believable.
And you got me.
Good.
Okay, that's it for today.
We'll see everybody next Thursday?
Good.
David,
can I see you for a sec?
2 hours go by so fast.
Sure does.
You've acted before, haven't you?
No. No, I've always wanted to, though.
Ever since I was a kid.
You need work.
Lots.
Show up early next week
and we’ll talk.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah. Great. Cool. Okay.
Okay, bye. Bye.
[birds chirping]
I just want to die.
I'm your father. Mommy? Mommy?
Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? Let me rest.
A joke!
Stop being a pussy. You throw like a girl.
Michael stop it. Shut up already! I’ll drive you!
Fuck you! You’re sick Mom!
I just want to die. Leave me alone.
Who do you think you’re talking to?
I just want to die.
Alright, I'm out of here.
You're not excused, young lady.
Yeah, well.
Um-um. You're not finished.
You do realize your culinary skills are lacking
there a bit ma?
I’ll starve.
I'll help clean up.
[Slow piano music begins]
[crickets]
It's almost like the impossible...
to grow up in a family that just doesn't talk about things.
It makes you feel
vulnerable.
And totally naked in this
terrifying world that still surrounds me.
It just makes me wonder, you know,
to that point where everything
seemed to change.
After all,
that is what you ask yourself when you stare in the mirror at that stone
cold face.
And then you drop the razor into the sink,
contemplating once again.
[a car pulls into the driveway]
[car door shuts]
He’s home.
[front door opens]
Jack?
This has got to stop.
Where were you?
This charade has gone on long enough.
She's sick.
You know that.
She's not stupid, Jack.
What did you tell her you were this time?
It's been two years, honey.
Your marriage was over way before you met me.
Now, make a choice.
Jack.
Jack, I'm talking to you.
How would you feel
if Daddy wasn't around that much anymore?
[tea kettle whistles]
I left myself in.
You were talking in your sleep
about David.
Who?
The pretty one from class.
Bullshit.
You were grinning from ear to ear.
Just be careful, Kenny.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Hi.
I came early.
Oh good.
How are things going, David?
Okay, I guess.
You guess?
What could be so bad?
I don't know.
I just wanted to say I can't stay for class today.
I mean, I can't come anymore.
I just wanted to come by and say thanks and all.
What?
Why?
It's just...
I was too rough on you last time.
No, no, it's just kind of a bad time.
Is it a money thing?
I didn't want to say that, but yeah, it is.
David,
don't let that stop you from following your dream.
Listen,
when I was four,
my mom took me to go see Bambi,
and all of a sudden,
she couldn't find me anywhere.
I had run up all the way to the front of the screen,
and I was trying to somehow get in.
I wanted
so bad to become a part
of that whole magical thing.
I never forgot that.
And I did everything I could to follow my dream.
So think of it as a scholarship then.
Between you and me.
Okay.
Are you serious? Yes.
It wouldn't be the same without you here.
You’re one of the reasons why I'm here today.
I insist.
Okay?
Yeah. okay.
Good.
You did it.
No, no, David, you're not listening.
Okay, Come on, get focused.
Alright. Anger! Give me anger!
You did it! Again!
You did it! Again!!!
You did it!!!
Shit!
David?
Listen, I'm sorry.
You okay?
Yeah. Just...
Do you mind?
I just want to be alone.
Okay?
Yeah, sure.
Call me later?
Yeah, I will.
Okay.
That's when we all went our separate ways.
I felt alone.
Completely.
All of us
lost
cold, and naked.
Nobody knew each other anymore.
I don't know why.
Well, where is she? I've been waiting 20 minutes.
What?
He did?
Well, did she say where she was going?
Oh man.
No, forget it.
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
Okay. Bye.
You left this behind.
Thank you.
Listen, umm
I’m sorry if I was a little hard on you back there.
Oh no, I understand.
If you're serious about this acting as I think you are, you need that.
It's not going to be easy.
Loads of shit and little glory.
No, I figured as much.
Anyway, it's not that. It’s something else, so...
So, I gather.
How much of that is true?
You read this?
I didn't mean to intrude.
You got a lot of potential David.
If you ever need somebody to talk to...
I’m here.
Well,
you know where to find me.
Kenny?
You think maybe you could give me a ride home?
What the fuck!
Mom?
What happened? I’m fine. I’m just tired.
What is this shit?
Give me that!
Where’s my purse? Vanilla extract?
What the fuck are you doing? You bake with this shit!
Stop it! Stop it! Get off of her!
What the fuck are you doing? No, stop it!!!
How long has this been going on?
Get the fuck off of me!
Help me. Lisa help me.
I won’t do it again. I won’t do it again.
What are you doing? What are you doing to us mom?
Michael... What are you doing?
Let go of me.
Lisa, take her inside... take her inside.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.
Do any of us have anyone anyway?
I mean, who do you turn to?
Where do you go?
Michael!!!
It hit me like a ton of bricks that day.
Anyway,
I went where I was invited.
Will you stop bringing him up.
As long as you keep looking at him that way, I'm going to bring him up.
And as long as I'm a part of the class,
it is my business.
Look, it's not like it's
mutual.
You’re his teacher.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Yes, just a minute.
Speak of the devil.
Hello?
I don't know.
I think acting has always been kind of an escape for me, I guess.
Quite a strong word for a beginner.
Escape. It's true.
I mean, when you're acting, it's okay to explore the lives of other characters.
You can escape and become somebody completely different.
That way, people can't really judge you.
How old did you say you were?
I didn't. Why? How old I look?
I don't know. 19, 20.
Subtract a few.
Well, how old are you?
You're a good little actor.
My mom always said I had the right look for it.
Because you got that pretty boy face.
Can I ask you something?
As long as you don't ask me how old I am.
If you've already made it,
how come you still live in our shit town anyway?
That's a different story.
I'm sorry.
Sorry. I'm getting personal.
No, it's okay.
[applause]
I can talk about it.
It was that whole self-destruction thing.
I um.... I caught a glimpse of it
in your journal
and it triggered something in me.
Took me back.
Whoa.
How’d I do?
I’m sorry.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
It's okay. It's okay.
It wasn't exactly a surprise.
Not what happened,
but what it confirmed to me.
Hi David!
You’re not ready?
Julia, I thought you were going to call.
It’s okay, I'll wait.
Hi, Mrs. Graham. Hi, Julia. How are you?
Where are you going?
I'll be right back.
You don't want to be late.
I'm not going. Why?
Because...
Guess I’ll call you later then. Just...
Just tell him I was sick.
Okay.
Okay, everybody, come. Get a space...
Kenny couldn't make it today, So I'm taking over.
Maybe now we'll have a little bit of fun.
Okay, everybody come find a space.
The frickin’ shipping tape
has got to go.
Pardonne-moi.
Can I help you?
Oh no, I'm just looking, thanks.
Well, then maybe you can help me.
You wouldn't happen to have an emery board or a pair of scissors on you, would you?
Uh, yeah. As a matter of fact, I do.
They're both on here.
How anal retentive.
I love it.
You need it for the boxes?
Are you kidding? I need it for my nails.
Hi. I'm David.
Zack. Pleasure.
Are you always like this?
Only on Thursdays, when these damn boxes come in.
You're a riot.
That's what they all say.
But someday, I'm going to be a star.
Really?
If you could help me. Sure, kid.
I could be your agent.
Actually, I'm looking for a book that profiles actors,
you know, gives their bios and stuff.
Do you carry anything like that?
Well, this is the bookstore.
Anybody in particular? Yeah.
My teacher, Kenny Griffith.
What kind of stuff is he do?
Movies. 80’s, I think.
Like Barbara Eden and Hope Valley PTA?
Exactly.
Griffith, right?
Yeah.
No, I don't see him in here.
That doesn't mean he's a nobody.
No, he's somebody. I'm sure he is.
Listen, there is a book
I know of on 80’s films.
You know the real cheesy ones.
Can you order it for me? Sure.
Come back next Thursday so I can open up one more box.
Be sure to bring my knife.
I'll just take this.
Good choice.
Hey.
Where’ve you been you little shit?
Where’s mom?
Sleeping. Where else?
David, Julia called for you before.
Mom?
Mommy. Mommy?
Michael!
Oh Jesus. What the fuck mom.
Mom?
Come on.
[doorbell rings]
Stand the fuck up.
She’s hurt!
No, this is bullshit!
The fucking mouthwash is gone!
Mommy?
You’re not taking me away!
Shut up you Scope drinking motherfucker!
I can stop! Stand up! Stand the fuck up!
Stop it!!!! No, this is bullshit.
You can deal with her!
Lisa. Lisa, I need your help.
They’re not taking me anywhere.
That’s okay mom. I’m fine, really.
Can you help me please? Please?
What are you doing?
You’re hurt mom. I’m gonna help you, okay?
David?
Hi. I'm Janice.
Hi. Sorry to keep you waiting.
So where is she?
Ahhh, she's getting settled in.
So she's going to stay?
Yes, umm...
Anybody can get this disease.
Believe me, I speak from experience.
I need to ask you a few questions.
Go over a few things, if that's okay.
Yeah. Okay.
Does your mother have any type of insurance?
I don't know.
Can I see her?
Not yet.
We do have a blackout period.
5 to 7 days.
No visitors, no phone calls.
I'm sorry.
Do you happen to know her Social Security number?
No.
Well, we...
We need to find these things out as soon as possible.
We did take these things away from her.
Hairspray, mouthwash, gel.
She cannot have razors or shaving cream.
She uses these things every day.
I'm sorry.
Rules are rules.
Come on.
Let me take you in and say your goodbyes.
[A knock on the door. It opens.]
Where is it?
You won't find your bottle.
We check everything before you’re admitted.
Who went through my goddamn pocket book?
You people have no right to go through my things.
We do, when you come for help.
Well, I didn't come in here.
I was put in here,
and I'm going home.
I'm sick of this bullshit.
I want my things back. Now!
You did agree to come here,
and I'm afraid I can't do that.
Your son David has them.
How do you feel now?
Fine.
You got the shakes?
A little.
Hi. I'm Jerry.
What happened to my face?
27 stitches across your chin.
You fell.
You didn't even know it.
I want to get out of here.
I want to see my kids.
Go. The door’s right there.
I can't stop you.
Only you can do that.
But I guarantee you the shakes you feel now
they'll only get worse.
So what are you going to do?
Drink to stop the pain?
Is that what you want?
No.
Give yourself
5 days, that's all.
See, here we can show you how to live with your disease.
Out there, you're powerless.
You already know that.
It's the first step.
[doorbell rings]
What are you doing here?
Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.
You gonna let me in?
Oh, yeah.
Come on in.
No one's home.
I came to see you.
I was on my way to class,
and I thought you might need a ride.
You're coming right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm coming.
You don't have to.
Look, if I freaked you out last time.
I'm sorry. Won’t happen again?
I don't know what I was thinking.
No, it's not that.
Just give me a minute?
That's my mom.
It's Katie.
I'm sorry -
I'm ready.
Let's go.
I looked at him for a minute
and then turned
and walked away.
Scene.
Not bad.
It’s from a book
of monologues by Jane Rothchild.
Who are you talking to?
I'm sorry?
Did you personalize who you were talking to?
Uh, I think so.
That's not a choice.
You have to see that person.
I did.
I didn't believe you.
David.
I was picturing David.
Okay.
Good.
For next week, I want you to work on this:
Think about who this girl might be telling the story to.
See that person.
Hear what he's telling you.
Julia, the key is listening.
Okay. Trust your instinct.
You work from there.
Okay? Okay.
Good.
Who's next?
David.
Why did you do it again?
Where did you put it?
Where did you hide the damn bottle?
You promised me you'd stop this crap.
What are you doing?
Look at me!
Can’t you see what you're doing to me?
I try everything I can to help you out and make you happy.
I'm there for you when nobody else wants to be.
I listen to you.
I keep you company.
You know,
you can always rest your head on my shoulder.
But how can I be your crutch
when all you're doing is killing yourself?
Don't push me away.
Don't shut me out.
I know what you're going through.
I see your face. I'm not blind.
I know what it is.
It's in me, too.
It's stares me dead in the face.
Every time I look in the damn mirror.
I see you.
And all I want to do is reach out my hands
and grab that scared little child
and say
it's okay.
I'm here
and I love you.
Just let me in. Please.
Just let me in.
David?
Can I see you for a sec?
Uh, yeah. Wait here a sec.
Yeah, I’ll be outside.
Guess you don't need a ride home?
Next time. I'm gonna walk.
It's quite a performance.
Thank you.
You wrote it, didn’t you?
Yeah.
It’s that bad?
How'd you like to see a Broadway show with me?
Really?
Yeah, when?
Next Friday.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah, I'll go. Cool.
I know Julia always wanted to see a Broadway show.
Sure, sure.
We'll bring Marianne.
It’ll be fun.
Okay.
Good. Good night.
I'll see you.
The pull was strong, you know.
I felt drawn to him.
But at the same time, I wanted to run.
Who the fuck am I kidding?
I was really impressionable.
And today I...
I think a part of me still is.
Hi, David, right?
Zach? What's up?
You remembered. I'm touched.
How could I forget?
How are you?
Splendacious! And you?
Likewise.
I brought you something.
I figured you could keep it behind the register for those times of danger.
I can't believe this. It's perfect.
You like me?
You really, really like me.
I think I'm going to cry.
Did you get my book?
Yes. And yes, he's in it.
Vital statistics and all.
He's got quite a resume.
But no Harper Valley PTA.
That'll be $9.95. Yeah.
Here, keep the change. Ooh.
Listen, I was wondering if...
maybe you'd like to go get a cup of coffee?
Sure.
Meet me here at 4.
And wear something sexy.
I'll be back.
So, tell me more.
Well, he looks at me in class.
And not like he does with anybody else.
It's sort of like this weird connection thing we have.
I don't know.
I can't explain it. The innocent stare?
It's probably so obvious. I bet it is.
What a scandal. I love it.
Scandal?
Oh come on, please.
A 30 something and a 16 year old.
Cutting edge.
Did you guys ever do anything?
Yeah, he kissed me.
Tongues?
No tongue?
Well, then what else?
I don't know what else to say.
Does he know how you feel?
I can't say anything.
I don't know how I feel.
You can. You're just not ready yet.
I'm scared.
Of course.
But isn't this wonderful?
I mean, here you are.
All alone. Unsure of yourself.
And you meet this man who's very important to you. In lots of ways, right?
Hell, he could even be your ticket into show business.
No, we're not about that.
Well, I'd say, just follow your gut instinct.
Ride this out, see where it goes.
Speaking of showbiz.
You want to audition for a horror film?
It's the story of my life.
I bet is it.
Name? David Graham.
We don't seem to have your headshot.
Did you bring one?
I left it in the cab on the way over.
Agent's name?
Griffith, It's Ken Griffin.
Phone number? 201-555-6495.
Whenever you're ready.
Could you imagine doing that show 8 times a week?
I love it.
I used to come after every Friday night show.
Barrymore's.
No, no thanks. Who? John Barrymore.
You know who John Barrymore is?
Yeah. I did a report on him in school.
I had to read it in front of my class.
What did you write about?
Well, it was a long time ago, but something about how after he died
W.C. Fields and Errol Flynn dug him up, propped him in this chair
put a drink in his hand, and had a party with this dead guy.
David. It's true.
Where in his restaurant.
It's true.
Wait... is this the same Barrymore
that’s related to Drew Barrymore. The little girl from E.T.?
Go figure.
I have to use the bathroom.
Where is it?
Come on, I'll show you. Okay.
I'll be right back.
Well,
David is so cute.
He's acting really weird tonight.
Don’t you think?
I mean, maybe he shouldn’t drink so much?
I don't know.
It seems okay to me.
Come on!
Let's have some fun.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
Are you and Kenny together?
No, No.
I was in love with him.
The bastard broke my heart.
But now we're just good friends.
It's pretty weird, huh?
Don't tell anyone.
It's our secret.
I think I went too far last night.
With David,
I know.
There's love there.
I can see that.
I can see the...
the way he looks at you in class and all of that.
But he’s just a boy, Kenny.
But, I think he knows what he's doing.
I'm telling you to be careful.
It’s you I'm worried about.
[Joshua Path singing “The Spectre”]
♪ I wanna be your ocean. ♪
♪ Crashing with my waves. ♪
♪ I wanna be your victim. ♪
♪ One that you can’t save. ♪
♪ I wanna be the beacon. ♪
And lead you to safe ground.
♪ I wanna be the anchor. ♪
♪ That always holds you down. ♪♪
What are you thinking?
I was thinking about my mom.
How is she?
Okay, I guess.
What do you mean, you guess?
I don’t know. She doesn't tell me.
Well, she tells me she's fine, but I don't believe it all the time.
Fine.
Yeah, that's all she says.
Yeah. I'm fine.
She gets pissed when I ask.
You okay with that?
Yeah.
Yeah,
At least fine is better than not fine.
Yeah.
Well, she’ll be okay.
Yeah.
The question is, are you okay?
I'm great.
Yeah. Yeah.
You stoned?
Yeah.
Feeling pretty good?
Yeah.
Me too.
[Joshua Path singing “Twisted and Evil Man”]
♪ Hello baby. ♪
♪ It’s been a while. ♪
♪ That ol’ judge thought he could keep us apart. ♪
♪ He really shouldn’t I’ll tell you why. ♪
♪ You make me happy. ♪
♪ Life is sugarcoated ♪
♪ When you’re around me ♪
♪ Life is ginger ale. ♪
[birds chipping]
Keep $20 bucks, but the rest of this goes in the top drawer or your mother's room.
Don't spend any of it.
That's Lisa's lunch money.
Alright.
Where's your sister, anyway?
I don't, but she wasn't home.
She didn’t want to come anyway.
That fucking kid!
Do you blame her?
Why do you hate me?
I didn't do this to your mother.
I didn't say you did.
She always drank.
You just don't remember?
No, but I remember
I'm the one that has to take care of her.
I’m not a bad person, David.
I'm scared.
Just like you.
Don't forget to clean up, Lisa.
You're not eating?
No. I'm going out.
I told you we need to talk.
Hurry up. Talk.
Where you going? Out.
Are you writing a book?
With that teacher guy?
Leave that chapter out.
I'm sleeping at Colleen's tonight.
So we're going to talk, or what?
Yes! Thank you.
Not you.
Alright...
talk.
I'm moving in with Sarah and her parents.
I don't want to stay here anymore.
I can't.
I don't want to live here either, then!
You have to.
Shut up! You are not my father.
I don't know how you do, man, putting up with all this shit.
You think I like? No...
But you are good at it.
[car horn]
Don’t forget to do the dishes.
Hey!
What other numbers do you have in here?
David Hasselhoff?
Yuck.
He was my neighbor in L.A..
Can you pass that thing? You like that too much.
So I do.
You have more?
No, that's it.
I have a couple roaches we can roll.
No other drugs in the house.
Isabella Rossellini.
Rossellini.
Excuse me.
Rossellini. Wow.
Robert Reed?
You have Mr. Brady's telephone number?
He's a wacko.
He lives with his mommy.
No way.
Let's call him.
Okay.
Okay...
Gimme that.
Say the first thing that comes to your mind.
Okay. Okay.
Hello?
It’s him.
Yes. Is, is Bobby there?
Oh no, I’m terribly sorry I must have dialed the wrong number.
Alright.
Cherrio.
You can't laugh.
can you throw us?
Jezz, who else can we call?
Here.
Have the rest.
Easy, easy. I'm going to explode.
Speaking of which...
[phone rings]
That’s him.
If that’s Mr. Brady, tell him I went to go see Sam, the butcher.
Hello?
Yeah.
This is he.
Bobby?
Bobby.
Bobby. Look what I found Bobby...
[pounding on the door]
David, come out here.
I'll be out in a minute.
Congratulations, you little liar!
What are you talking about?
You want to tell me who Sheila from Providence Pictures is?
You got the part you auditioned for.
And your first attempt out there.
Good for you.
Oh my god.
How could you not tell me about this?
Why would you keep that from me?
I didn't want you to be mad or upset that I was the one auditioning.
What?
David, why would you think that?
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Don't!
Don't ever lie to me again.
I would never keep things from you.
Ever.
What am I doing?
A horror movie?
At least my first picture was with Fox.
I'm happy for you.
Really.
I'm just...
I'm hurt and pissed
you didn't tell me.
David, don't cry.
It’s okay.
I love you, David.
Make love to me.
What? What's wrong?
What?
You fucking bastard!
Julia - NO!
Don’t even come near me.
I don’t want you to touch me.
You fucking fagot!
All this time I had a feeling.
Who is it?
It’s nobody.
It’s where you’ve been going every weekend, isn’t it?
You lied to me.
How could you do this?
You don't understand.
No, I hate you.
I hate you.
Fuck.
$5 bucks to party, bro.
I live here, dick breath.
Jack who? Jack Kerouac?
What are you doing here?
Lisa, what's going on?
Your father and I are moving in.
What?
We're going to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all.
What? Wait a minute. Who do you think you are?
Watch that tone with me.
We don't need your help, so why don't you just leave us alone?
You can't even take care of yourself, Mister.
Bullshit.
David, stop.
Your father and I spent hours cleaning out that damn refrigerator.
We found four bottles of wine.
So!
So? It's bad enough he has to deal with one alcoholic in this family.
You cunt!
What did you say?
CUNT!
Get out of this house
and don't come back.
Go to hell.
Fuck both of you.
You gonna to be next?
Help me with his bags.
Hi.
So why was it so important
for you to see me today?
I'm moving back into the house.
No, no.
You wait till I get out of this place before you do anything.
Look, your daughter is out of control.
Jack, please don't start the shit.
And I don't know where David is half the time.
I can't have them coming and going
as they please.
Don't you think I owe it to them?
To you?
You're not bringing
that, that whore into my house.
I pay the mortgage.
And when I pay the mortgage, it's mine!
I didn't want to live with her.
Not in Brooklyn
and not in Section 8 housing on food stamps.
I couldn't.
I couldn't even bear to be around her anymore.
And the thoughts that went through my head,
hating her for turning me into this fucked up demon.
I don't even know how to think.
I was doing it to myself.
I stayed trapped inside
what I thought would bring me happiness.
I just need you to sign here, here and right there.
Basically, what it says in 25,000 words or less
is that I'll be David's legal guardian during the filming.
You take care of my baby.
On one hand, there I was...
following my dream and making it a reality.
And there he was,
always right there.
Looking back now, I understand why he insisted we stay at a hotel
30 miles away from all the other actors.
I let him control me.
He got me
lots of other acting gigs.
My mom and dad always knew my drug choice.
Cut!
It’s “my mother and father always knew my choice of drugs”.
Now let’s try this one more time and only one more time.
Action.
My parents always knew my choice of drugs.
CUT! Jesus.
All right, everybody, take ten.
What’s the matter with this kid today.
I don't know.
David, what is wrong with you?
You were fine when we rehearsed this.
Look at me.
You're fucked up.
My teacher always knew my choice of drugs.
It's your shit.
All right, fine. Go ahead.
Asshole.
[phone rings]
[phone continues to ring]
You said something.
Didn't you?
What are you talking about?
Oh this one tops the cake.
After all the shit I buy you and do for you.
You're a fucking liar!
What are you so upset about?
What did I do?
Your little girlfriend Julia called here.
What did you tell her?
Nothing.
Don't you realize you can fucking ruin me?
She's a fucking kid, David!
So am I!!!
I don't do this anymore.
You fucking did enough, believe me.
I'm just a kid, I don’t want this anymore.
Oh don't play that fucking puppy dog shit with me.
I never said anything to anyone.
I swear.
I don't want this anymore.
I can't do this anymore.
Well...
That’s it then, isn't it?
There's the door.
Get the fuck out!
I can't take your baby games anymore.
Go ahead and find somebody who's going to take care of you the way that I do.
And then fuck with his head like you fuck with mine.
Towels are under the basin, neatly folded and thirds.
That's how I like it.
I wake up every morning at exactly 7:45.
By 8:15, I finished my Grape-Nuts and my first cup of coffee. Cafe Internazionale,
and by 8:20 I'm in the shower. Bathroom’s usually free by 9.
Regis And Kathie Lee! Can't miss them.
Who?
You can sleep on the couch.
There's an extra pillow and blanket in the closet behind me.
And if you don't mind, lights out by 11.
Some of us have to work hard to look as good as you.
Sure.
I'm sorry things didn't work out for you.
Yeah, well...
I feel responsible.
It’s not your fault.
But I was the one that pushed you.
Well, I think that answers everything.
Any questions?
Nope.
Sweet dreams, princess.
Zack?
Thanks.
That's what friends are for.
Good night.
So, what do you want man? Smoke, coke?
Coke.
You a cop?
What?
How much you want?
I only got $60 bucks.
That's not gonna get you much man.
Please, man, I need something.
Sit down.
Now don’t be afraid, man. I’m just cutting this for you.
It's 8:12.
Let’s go! Chop, chop.
David?
Are you okay?
David?
David, are you in there?
David!
You need to get some help.
We'll put you somewhere.
No, no, no.
Well, you can't stay here.
I don't want you here.
You can't be trusted.
Where am I gonna go?
I never saw any red flags
go off and tell me things weren’t ordinary.
I let that shit go on for another five years.
Using and abusing my body with chemical
after chemical and bottle after bottle.
I still felt lost, cold and naked.
Alone
and completely unstable.
I needed something I could call my own.
A place I could call home.
But something still wasn't right.
Something was missing.
[a knock on the door]
Hi.
I found out his lease was in Marianne's name, and...
Well, she kicked his ass out.
I needed the money.
More than that.
I just didn't want to be alone.
Isolating myself into a dark pattern.
All I did was open the door.
It was innocent. No hidden agendas.
I just needed a friend.
Nothing more.
Just a friend.
Just one more Bobby, would you?
I think you've had enough, Kenny.
Come on.
Just one more.
Thhis is it. Then you're out.
David?
Hey...
I’m still attractive, right?
Come on.
Suck my dick for old time's sake.
Kenny, stop it.
Come on, tell me you missed my dick in your mouth.
Kenny, get off me. Come on!
Get the fuck off me! David come on.
Kenny, get off. Don’t fight.
What are you doing? Get the fuck off! What’s wrong with you?
Come on! David!
Get off of me!
Mom?
What the fuck are you doing?
Nothing.
You know, you make me sick.
You really do.
I'm done with your shit.
I'm sick and tired of this.
You’re fucking pathetic!
Wait...
Fuck you.
Fuck you!!!
[camera flash]
[police radio chatter]
[sirens]
You're fucking late. Kenny.
You know, after all this time, you never fucking change.
Kenny!
You're still a fucking liar.
Katie’s dead!
Is she all you ever think about!
You fucking fuck!
Get the fuck off me! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You fuck!
[heart beats]
[heart stops]
In the beginning,
it was the need to fit in.
But knowing that I can come into these rooms
and say, hey, this is...
this is how I'm feeling today.
This is what I'm dealing with.
Makes me feel good.
It's honest,
it's safe.
And after five years of sobriety,
it's home.
[applause]