1
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,564
Ah!

2
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,136
Saturday...

3
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:27,107
September 25th...

4
00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:32,913
Another heavenly day.

5
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,317
Ah, yes.

6
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:40,087
It's always a heavenly day.

7
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,356
Every day is perfect.

8
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,458
Nothing but happiness.

9
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,961
Ah, yes, happiness,
happiness, happiness.

10
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:53,000
I have everything that any man
or angel could desire:

11
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,336
Beautiful memories of the past,

12
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:58,205
pictures, toys...

13
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,107
Ha ha!

14
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,875
Toys.

15
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:05,446
Children play with
the dreams of tomorrow...

16
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:10,050
And old men play
with memories of yesterday.

17
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,619
Broadway.

18
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,388
Ah, Broadway.
I can see it yet.

19
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:17,358
The Broadway of 1907.

20
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,527
The Broadway
that was waiting for me.

21
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,763
An innocent world
believing in a golden future,

22
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:26,534
full of peace and laughter
and beautiful girls.

23
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,237
And here's the theater
where my first follies opened.

24
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,172
As I look at that theater now,

25
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:33,774
it's all mine forever.

26
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,511
No taxes, no bills,
and no competitors.

27
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,680
There they are, my first public

28
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:43,183
the high and mighty
and the hoi-polloi.

29
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,653
And here they're all mine.

30
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,522
Eternal toys
that never grow older.

31
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:51,992
Look at Mrs. Astor
in her beautiful carriage

32
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,494
with her famous horse.

33
00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:56,196
Much more famous that night
than Ziegfeld.

34
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,800
And didn't the horse know it!

35
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:02,436
(Whinnies)

36
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,538
And diamond Jim Brady,

37
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,941
with no horse,
but what a filly inside the car.

38
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,545
There they are an old New York
first-night audience.

39
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,280
The judge and the jury.

40
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,782
What have you got,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

41
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,150
Show us your magic if you dare.

42
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,619
Make us dream if you can.

43
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,622
What have you got,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

44
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,631
Anna held hourglass girls.

45
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,701
(Orchestra plays
it's delightful to be married)

46
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,831
Thank you,
Mrs. Astor.

47
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:07,535
I can pretend all my great stars
never grew older,

48
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:12,039
are still dancing and singing
as they did years ago.

49
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,675
Marilyn Miller.

50
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,516
Fanny Brice.

51
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,619
♪ Look at me, oh, look at me ♪

52
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:29,122
♪ I'm an Indian,
aha, I'm an Indian ♪

53
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:33,594
Will Rogers.

54
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,697
Well, uh...
What'll I talk about?

55
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,866
I ain't got anything
to say that's funny.

56
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,101
All I know is what
I read in the paper.

57
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,703
Eddie cantor.

58
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,906
♪ If you knew Susie
like I know Susie ♪

59
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:46,907
♪ Oh!

60
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,975
Oh!

61
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,176
Oh, what a girl ♪

62
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,245
♪ There's none so classy
as this fair Lassie ♪

63
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,246
♪ Oh!

64
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,448
Oh!

65
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,049
Holy Moses, what a chassis ♪

66
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,886
♪ We went riding,
she didn't balk ♪

67
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,490
♪ Back from yonkers, I'm
the one who had to walk ♪

68
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,459
♪ If you knew Susie
like I know Susie ♪

69
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:06,527
♪ Oh!

70
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:10,531
Oh, what a girl ♪

71
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,500
I can hear the applause

72
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:16,369
as if it hadn't disappeared
into the past.

73
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,539
The New York night
still burns for me

74
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:21,642
with the names I branded
into the sky.

75
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:25,913
Great shows that were part
of the dreams of America.

76
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,848
How many millions
of people today

77
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,950
remember their courtships,
their honeymoons,

78
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:33,186
their anniversaries,
their happiest moments,

79
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,823
in terms of a Ziegfeld show.

80
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:40,160
The world will never forget
the Ziegfeld follies.

81
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:55,308
Ah, those were
the good old days.

82
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,745
And yet, I wonder...

83
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:01,348
Are those days really over?

84
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,784
Just because I moved up here,

85
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,453
did the follies
have to die, too?

86
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:11,491
Couldn't there be a new follies?

87
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,294
No.
No, I suppose not.

88
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,729
After all,

89
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,198
how could there be a Ziegfeld
follies

90
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,267
without Ziegfeld?

91
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:26,239
What I would give to be able
to put on one more follies.

92
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,875
Yes.

93
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:31,011
So many personalities
down there to choose from...

94
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,647
Great personalities from my day

95
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:37,484
and great ones
that have come up since.

96
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,320
How would I open?

97
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,422
Let's see...

98
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:47,260
Uh...I'd like
a crayon and paper.

99
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,896
Thank you.

100
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,299
I think I'd open
with a pink number.

101
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,802
Yes!
A beautiful pink number

102
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:58,906
with beautiful pink-and-white
blue-eyed girls.

103
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:03,310
Yes, and maybe to introduce
the whole thing...

104
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,514
Well, who would be better than
my old friend Fred Astaire?

105
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,149
A great star, Freddie.

106
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,385
Ho ho, I'd be taking
no chances with him.

107
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:17,591
And I know Freddie would say
something very nice about me.

108
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:19,860
What can I say about Ziegfeld?

109
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,696
Well, I can only tell you
that as long as there's a dance,

110
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,699
a song, a musical show,
and it's good...

111
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:29,069
Somewhere around or in it
is Ziegfeld.

112
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:33,674
He never cared so much about
villains, plots, stories.

113
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,676
The follies never had a story.

114
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:38,912
The Ziegfeld follies was itself
a story of an era.

115
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,750
If it was gay, bright,
beautiful...

116
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,718
That's how Ziggy wanted it.

117
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,520
And, oh, I almost forgot.

118
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,089
The girls.

119
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,159
Ziggy was a specialist
at glorifying girls.

120
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,827
That's one of
the most important things

121
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,163
about the follies, you know.

122
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:57,631
So...

123
00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,934
♪ Here's to
the beautiful ladies ♪

124
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,772
♪ Here's to those
wonderful girls ♪

125
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:08,208
♪ Adeles and Mollys,
Luciles and Pollys ♪

126
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:12,813
♪ You'll find them all
in the Ziegfeld follies ♪

127
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,049
♪ Here's to the silks
and the satins ♪

128
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,853
♪ Here's to the diamonds
and pearls ♪

129
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:23,590
♪ This is the mixture
to start the picture ♪

130
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:27,227
♪ So bring on
the beautiful girls ♪

131
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,814
♪ Here's to the silks
and the satins ♪

132
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,617
♪ Here's to the diamonds
and pearls ♪

133
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,054
♪ A sweet endeavor,
a joy forever ♪

134
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:58,325
♪ So bring on
the beautiful girls ♪

135
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:27,815
Chorus ♪ here's to
the beautiful ladies ♪

136
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:35,122
♪ Here's to
those wonderful girls ♪

137
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:43,030
♪ Adeles and Mollys,
Luciles and Pollys ♪

138
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:47,034
♪ You'll find them all

139
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:52,339
in the Ziegfeld follies ♪

140
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:58,111
♪ Here's to the silks
and the satins ♪

141
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:05,785
♪ Here's to the diamonds
and pearls ♪

142
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:13,393
♪ A joy forever,
a sweet endeavor ♪

143
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:21,168
♪ To bring on
the beautiful girls ♪

144
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,388
(Whip cracks)

145
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:51,891
♪ This is the mixture
to start the picture ♪

146
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:58,098
♪ So bring on
the beautiful girls ♪

147
00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:13,813
(william tell overture plays)

148
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,484
Whoa!

149
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:21,254
♪ All this yap-yap-yap
about glorifyin' dames ♪

150
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,356
♪ Leaves me like a cold potato ♪

151
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:29,162
♪ I'd much rather be
with a handsome he ♪

152
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:34,301
♪ Like Van Johnson,
who's a real tomato ♪

153
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,036
♪ Or a date with
Fred MacMurray ♪

154
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,904
♪ You can bet your life
I'd hurry ♪

155
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:40,373
♪ And a guy like Mischa Auer ♪

156
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,212
♪ Has me completely
in his power ♪

157
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:49,116
♪ In fact, most any man I see ♪

158
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:54,687
♪ Is the only man for me ♪

159
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,789
Whee!

160
00:15:56,856 --> 00:16:00,060
♪ Bring on those wonderful men ♪

161
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:03,196
♪ Bring me an elegant guy ♪

162
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,931
♪ A soldier or Sailor ♪

163
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,466
♪ A gable or Taylor ♪

164
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:10,003
♪ A short or a tall one,
I just wanna call one ♪

165
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:13,340
♪ My own private wonderful he ♪

166
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,943
♪ Bring what you can to me ♪

167
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,080
♪ Bring me a guy to pin up ♪

168
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,150
♪ Bring me a prince on a horse ♪

169
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:26,253
♪ A dark or a light one,
I just wanna sight one ♪

170
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,289
♪ Who'd call me his missus
and give with the kisses ♪

171
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,925
♪ I'm afraid
I've a terrible yen ♪

172
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,563
♪ For those wonderful m-e-n ♪

173
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,032
♪ Amor, amor ♪

174
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,969
♪ There must be someone for me,
but what's he waitin' for ♪

175
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:45,572
♪ No hope, no soap ♪

176
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:49,242
♪ If he don't appear I fear
I'm at the end of my rope ♪

177
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:53,246
♪ Oh, bring on a male
who ain't frail ♪

178
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,349
♪ Bring on a man from a cave ♪

179
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,119
♪ Someone to relax with
and pay income tax with ♪

180
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,455
♪ And though he's from hunger,
I'm not gettin' younger ♪

181
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,958
♪ And I'd like to get on
with my plan ♪

182
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,130
♪ To glorify the American man ♪

183
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:14,201
♪ I know the men are few ♪

184
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:18,271
♪ But what's a gal to do ♪

185
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:22,775
♪ I'll get a man
before I'm through ♪

186
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:23,776
Hey!

187
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:27,414
You in the third row.

188
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:32,385
♪ Bring on those wonderful men ♪

189
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:21,448
(Whistling)

190
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:28,955
Oh, ho ho, could you tell me
where the telephone is, please?

191
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:32,992
Oh, thank you.

192
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,595
(Whistling)

193
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,701
Say, could you tell...

194
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,578
- Number, please.
- Oh, operator,

195
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:56,015
I would like
Plaza 5-5597, please.

196
00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:58,351
Plaza 5-5597?

197
00:21:58,418 --> 00:21:59,619
One moment, please.

198
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,153
Thank you.

199
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,589
(Whistling)

200
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,557
- Man hello.
- Oh, hello, Louie?

201
00:22:04,624 --> 00:22:06,125
(Angry) What number you want?

202
00:22:06,192 --> 00:22:08,695
Uh, Plaza 5-5597.

203
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:13,400
Well, this is
Morningside 3-3333.

204
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,534
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

205
00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,235
Aw, drop dead, will ya?!

206
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:17,404
(Click)

207
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:22,709
Yeah, I'll...
I'll do that.

208
00:22:22,775 --> 00:22:24,411
- Operator?
- Number, please.

209
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:25,978
Oh, operator, you got me
the wrong number.

210
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:30,049
I wanted Plaza 5-5597,
and you got me...

211
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:31,283
One moment, please.

212
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,085
I'll get you the
complaint department.

213
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,554
Oh, you don't have to get me
the complaint depart...

214
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,288
Hello, complaint department?

215
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,490
New operator
complaint department.

216
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,058
Oh, hello, Beth, how are you?

217
00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,326
Boy, have I got a head.

218
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:41,461
Hitler should have such a head.

219
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:42,595
Went to the strand last night.

220
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:43,963
Saw that cute Van Johnson...

221
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,264
Thirty seconds over Japan.

222
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,566
Oh, did you like that picture?

223
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:47,967
I liked that where the airplanes
went over

224
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:50,136
and dropped...There was
a fella had one leg.

225
00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:53,005
- Handsome, brave.
- Van Johnson's
just divine.

226
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:55,307
Operator!

227
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,343
(Irked) Hmm!

228
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:58,511
Number, please.

229
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,046
Operator, believe me when I tell
you

230
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:03,249
that you don't have to get
me the complaint department.

231
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,251
I can spare that extra nickel.

232
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:09,489
I just want Plaza 5-5597.

233
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:12,725
Plaza 5-5597?

234
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,427
- Yes.
- One moment, please.

235
00:23:14,494 --> 00:23:17,196
Thank you.

236
00:23:17,263 --> 00:23:18,565
Oh, hello, Louie?

237
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:19,632
Recording when you hear
the tone,

238
00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,300
the time will be exactly

239
00:23:21,367 --> 00:23:25,171
33 1/3 seconds past 10.

240
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,807
(Loud, deep tone)

241
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:34,380
(Clicks receiver)

242
00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:36,382
- Operator.
- Number, please.

243
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:40,820
Operator, all I want is
Plaza 5-5597.

244
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,855
Now, that's Louie Sebastian's
cigar store.

245
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:45,257
It's right around the corner.

246
00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:46,893
I could walk there.

247
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,496
I don't want the world
with a fence around it.

248
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:53,500
All I want is Plaza 5-5597.

249
00:23:53,566 --> 00:23:56,035
Plaza 5-5597?

250
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:57,269
One moment, please.

251
00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:59,438
Thank you.

252
00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:01,474
Hello, Louie?

253
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:02,742
Barbershop quartet
♪ happy birthday to you ♪

254
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,410
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

255
00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:08,548
♪ Happy birthday, dear Mr. Bushy
Mendel Horgenforth III ♪

256
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:14,420
♪ No knife can cut
our love in two ♪

257
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:19,492
♪ Good evening, friends ♪

258
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:20,560
(southern drawl)
Uh, pardon me, sir.

259
00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:24,296
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

260
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,798
(Drawling)
Hi, operator?

261
00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:27,099
Operator, sweetly
number, please.

262
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,501
Say, operator,

263
00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,436
I'd like to talk
to colonel Culpepper

264
00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:32,338
at the magnolia manor plantation

265
00:24:32,404 --> 00:24:33,673
in Сhattanooga, Tennessee.

266
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,341
Chattanooga, Tennessee!

267
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:37,510
Hello?
Colonel Culpepper?

268
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:38,911
Uh, hi, cul!

269
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:41,548
Say, cul, Willie Mae
says why don't y'all

270
00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:43,415
drop over for the weekend

271
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:44,551
and bring Mrs. Culpepper

272
00:24:44,617 --> 00:24:45,818
and all the kids with y'all.

273
00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,555
After all, y'all only live once.

274
00:24:48,621 --> 00:24:49,822
- Why, sure!
- Uh-huh.

275
00:24:49,889 --> 00:24:55,327
Uh-huh! Well, so long, y'all.

276
00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:58,030
It's been a real pleasure, sir.

277
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:07,439
Look, operator!

278
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:10,543
(Drawling) I'd, uh, kinda

279
00:25:10,610 --> 00:25:14,146
like Plaza 5-5597, please.

280
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:15,848
Why, sure 'nuff, honey Chile.

281
00:25:19,285 --> 00:25:20,519
Hello, Louie?

282
00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:24,824
(Man shouting in Chinese)

283
00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:28,094
(Click)
Man chung guff!

284
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,463
Chung...Guff.

285
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:32,565
(Bellowing)
Look, operator!

286
00:25:32,632 --> 00:25:34,066
Number, please.

287
00:25:34,133 --> 00:25:35,167
I would like

288
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:39,505
Plaza 5-5597.

289
00:25:39,572 --> 00:25:41,373
Will you spell it, please?

290
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,575
(Whimpers)

291
00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:45,645
Plaza!
"P" for Plaza,

292
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:47,246
"I" for Louie,

293
00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:48,314
"a" for annoying,

294
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,416
"z" for Xavier cugat,

295
00:25:50,482 --> 00:25:53,385
"a" for Anaheim, Azusa,
Cucamonga...

296
00:25:53,452 --> 00:25:57,456
5-5597!

297
00:25:57,523 --> 00:26:03,129
Westminster 2-2222?

298
00:26:03,195 --> 00:26:08,100
(Whistles)

299
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:10,502
(Raving)

300
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:14,807
(Sobs)

301
00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,542
- Operator?
- Number, please.

302
00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:18,510
- Number, please.
- Operator...

303
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,413
Oper...

304
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,582
(Whimpering)

305
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:26,218
(Sighs longingly)

306
00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:34,794
Hmm!

307
00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,262
(Cultured tone)
Hello, operator?

308
00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:37,529
Number, please.

309
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,366
I want to speak to sir Geoffrey
Kirsten

310
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,735
of the Frennessey Brandy
Company,

311
00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:45,805
Capetown, South Africa.

312
00:26:45,872 --> 00:26:48,641
Uh, no, I don't know the number.

313
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,677
(Mocking) Ooh,
she don't know the number.

314
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:51,978
Hello, porky?

315
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:54,613
(Mocking)
Hello, Por...

316
00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:56,983
Man hello?
Hello, are you there?

317
00:26:57,049 --> 00:27:00,586
Is that you, Gwendolyn,
my darling?

318
00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:02,454
Hello, porky.

319
00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:06,926
(Drops the cultured tone)
You stink, you big baboon!

320
00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:11,063
And that goes for you,
too, buster.

321
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:17,003
(Whistling)

322
00:27:42,729 --> 00:27:43,796
(Sweetly) Hello, operator?

323
00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:45,765
Number, please.
Number, please.

324
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,967
Operator, I would like
to speak to...

325
00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:53,873
Oogu in, uh, dumdum proper,
south Transylvania.

326
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:56,175
No, I don't know the number,

327
00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,645
and I don't know Mr. Oogu's
first name.

328
00:27:59,712 --> 00:28:01,714
All I know is...Oogu.

329
00:28:01,781 --> 00:28:04,383
Just plain Oogu.

330
00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:06,685
One moment, please.

331
00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:10,022
(Sing-song accent)
Hello, Oogu speaking.

332
00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:15,027
Look, Oogu,
you won't remember me,

333
00:28:15,094 --> 00:28:18,430
but we met at a preview
of Dorian Gray.

334
00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,632
Ah, sure, sure.

335
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:24,636
Yeah, look, Oogu, I wonder if
you would do me a favor.

336
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:25,704
Ah, sure!

337
00:28:25,772 --> 00:28:27,539
Any friend of a friend

338
00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:29,075
is a friend.

339
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:31,677
Oh, well, I'm glad
you feel that way.

340
00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:35,782
Um, look, Oogu...

341
00:28:35,848 --> 00:28:39,819
Would you get me Plaza 5-55...

342
00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:41,353
Operator sorry,
your three minutes are up.

343
00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:44,056
That'll be $94.45.

344
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:06,312
(Lively waltz plays)

345
00:29:24,030 --> 00:29:29,668
♪ Libiamo, libiamo
ne' lieti calici ♪

346
00:29:29,735 --> 00:29:33,105
♪ Che la bellezza infiora ♪

347
00:29:33,172 --> 00:29:36,843
♪ E la fuggevol, fuggevol ♪

348
00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:41,881
♪ Or a s'innebrii a volutta ♪

349
00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:46,018
♪ Libiam ne' dolci fremiti ♪

350
00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:49,889
♪ Che luscita I'amore ♪

351
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:53,960
♪ Poiche quell occhio al core ♪

352
00:29:54,026 --> 00:29:57,529
♪ Omnipotente va ♪

353
00:30:00,366 --> 00:30:06,372
♪ Libiamo, amore, amor frai
calici piu ♪

354
00:30:06,438 --> 00:30:09,208
♪ Caldi baci avra ♪

355
00:30:09,275 --> 00:30:13,712
Chorus ♪ ahh, libiam
amor fra' calici ♪

356
00:30:13,779 --> 00:30:16,382
♪ Piu' caldi baci avra ♪

357
00:30:24,123 --> 00:30:29,929
♪ Tra voi tra voi
sapro' dividera' ♪

358
00:30:29,996 --> 00:30:33,900
♪ Il tempo mi giocondo ♪

359
00:30:33,966 --> 00:30:38,871
♪ Tutti e' follia,
follia nel mondo ♪

360
00:30:38,938 --> 00:30:42,774
♪ Cio' che non e placer ♪

361
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:46,612
♪ Godiam fugace e rapido ♪

362
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:50,349
♪ E il gaudio Dell' amore ♪

363
00:30:50,416 --> 00:30:54,586
♪ E un fior che nasce e muore ♪

364
00:30:54,653 --> 00:30:58,090
♪ Ne piu' si puo' goder ♪

365
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,264
♪ Godiam, c'invita, c'invita ♪

366
00:31:05,331 --> 00:31:09,401
♪ Un fervido accento
lusinghier ♪

367
00:31:09,468 --> 00:31:15,141
Chorus ♪ ahh, godiamo
la tazza, la tazza ♪

368
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:19,078
♪ E il cantico
la notte abbella e il riso ♪

369
00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:24,783
♪ In questo,
in questo paradiso ♪

370
00:31:24,850 --> 00:31:28,020
♪ Ne scopra il nuovo di ♪

371
00:31:28,087 --> 00:31:32,191
♪ Ia vita e' nel tripudio ♪

372
00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:36,062
♪ Quando non s'ami ancora ♪

373
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:40,166
♪ Nel dite a chi I'ignore

374
00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:45,037
♪ e il mio destin cosi ♪

375
00:31:45,104 --> 00:31:47,339
♪ Ah-ahh ♪

376
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:50,742
♪ Godiamo la tazza, la tazza ♪

377
00:31:50,809 --> 00:31:53,045
♪ E il cantico ♪

378
00:31:53,112 --> 00:31:56,282
♪ Ia notte abbella e il riso ♪

379
00:31:56,348 --> 00:32:01,720
♪ In questo,
in questo paradiso ♪

380
00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,990
♪ Ne scopra il nuovo di ♪

381
00:32:04,056 --> 00:32:07,193
♪ Ahh, ahh, ne scopra il di ♪

382
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:10,696
♪ Ahh, ahh, ne scopra il di ♪

383
00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:14,600
♪ Ah, si ♪

384
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,517
Keep moving.
Watch your step there.

385
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,719
Step lively.
Right this way, please.

386
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:34,820
Step lively.

387
00:32:34,886 --> 00:32:37,456
Keep moving.

388
00:32:41,860 --> 00:32:42,961
Oh, excuse me.

389
00:32:43,029 --> 00:32:44,530
I beg your pardon.

390
00:32:44,596 --> 00:32:46,999
Now this property
that we're going to look at

391
00:32:47,066 --> 00:32:49,735
is worth $190,000.

392
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:52,104
He's asking $125.

393
00:32:52,171 --> 00:32:57,943
We'll offer him, uh...
$55.

394
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:00,812
We'll offer him $60
and settle for $75.

395
00:33:00,879 --> 00:33:01,847
Nothing doing.

396
00:33:01,913 --> 00:33:03,082
Why don't you leave the bu...

397
00:33:03,149 --> 00:33:04,116
Well, really!

398
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:05,451
I'm sorry, all right.

399
00:33:05,517 --> 00:33:07,653
Why don't you leave
the business end to me?

400
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,788
- I...I...
- Ooh.

401
00:33:09,855 --> 00:33:11,223
Eh, heh.

402
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:13,592
Oh, e-excuse me,
little girl.

403
00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:14,993
Madam.

404
00:33:15,061 --> 00:33:16,362
Now, listen,
I'll get it for $50,000.

405
00:33:16,428 --> 00:33:19,098
- I'll save ya $25.
- Never mind.

406
00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:22,834
If it's worth $150,000,
I'll give him $75.

407
00:33:22,901 --> 00:33:24,236
No, $50,000.

408
00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:25,837
Now stop worrying about it, will
ya? I'm your lawyer.

409
00:33:25,904 --> 00:33:26,972
Yeah, you're my lawyer.

410
00:33:27,039 --> 00:33:28,440
It'll be like the last deal.

411
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:30,909
You were gonna save me $25,000,

412
00:33:30,976 --> 00:33:32,811
and I lost the whole deal.

413
00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:35,047
I could've made $200,000.

414
00:33:35,114 --> 00:33:37,816
You're my lawyer!

415
00:33:37,883 --> 00:33:39,585
Ptui!

416
00:33:39,651 --> 00:33:42,388
- Hey, what's the matter?
- You're under arrest.

417
00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,990
- It ain't lit.
- I said you were
under arrest.

418
00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:46,092
What for?

419
00:33:46,158 --> 00:33:47,859
For expectoratin' in a subway.

420
00:33:47,926 --> 00:33:49,027
Now I gotta take you to court,

421
00:33:49,095 --> 00:33:50,496
and they'll fine you $2.

422
00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:53,399
Ooh, I...I didn't know
what I was doing.

423
00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:56,202
Can't we settle this
out of court?

424
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:59,538
I'll give you the $2.00.

425
00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:00,672
Ok.

426
00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:06,245
Uh, uh, I got it right here.

427
00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,813
I...I haven't got it on me.

428
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:09,014
He'll give you the $2.00.

429
00:34:09,081 --> 00:34:10,015
Give him the $2.00.

430
00:34:10,082 --> 00:34:11,250
I will not!

431
00:34:11,317 --> 00:34:12,618
Have you got any witnesses?

432
00:34:12,684 --> 00:34:14,986
How do you know he expectorated
on the floor?

433
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:15,987
Why, I saw him with my own eyes.

434
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,356
Stop arguing.

435
00:34:17,423 --> 00:34:18,890
What's $2.00?
Give him the $2.00.

436
00:34:18,957 --> 00:34:20,359
If we ain't uptown by 8:00,

437
00:34:20,426 --> 00:34:21,793
we'll lose the whole deal.

438
00:34:21,860 --> 00:34:23,462
You won't lose a thing!

439
00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:25,731
I dare you to arrest my client.

440
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:27,099
Oh, a smart guy, eh?

441
00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:28,967
Yes, I never lost a case in my
life.

442
00:34:29,034 --> 00:34:30,536
Well, we'll see about that.

443
00:34:30,602 --> 00:34:32,438
- Come on with me.
- Pay him the $2.00.

444
00:34:32,504 --> 00:34:35,040
I'll break you
for this, officer.

445
00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:37,676
Pay him the $2.00.

446
00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:45,317
The court finds
the defendant guilty

447
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,453
of expectorating in the subway

448
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:50,722
and hereby fines
the defendant $2.

449
00:34:50,789 --> 00:34:52,057
Or 30 days in jail.

450
00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:53,925
All right. Pay him the $2.00.

451
00:34:53,992 --> 00:34:54,993
Nothing doing.

452
00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:56,094
We'll appeal.

453
00:34:56,162 --> 00:34:57,763
Oh! Pay the $2.00.

454
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,265
No, you're a businessman,

455
00:34:59,331 --> 00:35:01,667
and you can't afford to have

456
00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:03,435
a black Mark against you.

457
00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:05,337
We'll take it to a higher court.

458
00:35:05,404 --> 00:35:06,705
Judge take him away.

459
00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:08,607
Oh, please, pay the $2.00.

460
00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:12,411
Don't worry, I'll have you
out of here in 20 minutes.

461
00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:21,119
How long have you been in here?

462
00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:24,556
I bet you've got
the same lawyer I've got.

463
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,358
Lawyer ♪ ta-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪

464
00:35:26,425 --> 00:35:28,093
♪ Ta-ra-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪

465
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,095
♪ Ta-ra-ra-ra boom-de-ay ♪

466
00:35:30,162 --> 00:35:31,930
Hello, Victor.
How are you?

467
00:35:31,997 --> 00:35:32,998
Where have you been?!

468
00:35:33,064 --> 00:35:35,167
I've been waiting here 12 days

469
00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,102
for you to get back
in 20 minutes.

470
00:35:37,169 --> 00:35:40,206
Oh, now, Victor,
don't be so impatient.

471
00:35:40,272 --> 00:35:41,440
I haven't very much time.

472
00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:42,508
I am in a bit of a hurry,

473
00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:44,009
but I couldn't help but drop by

474
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:45,777
and give you the good news.

475
00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:48,380
The court has granted our motion
for an appeal.

476
00:35:48,447 --> 00:35:49,481
Arggh!

477
00:35:49,548 --> 00:35:51,016
"Whereas my
client, Victor Moore,

478
00:35:51,082 --> 00:35:52,584
"hereinafter known as
the defendant,

479
00:35:52,651 --> 00:35:54,119
"is being sued by
the city of New York

480
00:35:54,186 --> 00:35:55,321
for committing
a public nuisance..."

481
00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:56,988
Don't mind that stuff.

482
00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:58,524
Just pay him the $2.00.

483
00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:01,126
I will not. I never
lost a case in my life.

484
00:36:01,193 --> 00:36:02,528
Say, what are you
trying to do...

485
00:36:02,594 --> 00:36:03,895
- Spoil my record?
- No!

486
00:36:03,962 --> 00:36:05,063
All I'm trying to do

487
00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:06,332
is get out of jail.

488
00:36:06,398 --> 00:36:09,134
Won't you please pay him
the $2.00?

489
00:36:09,201 --> 00:36:10,101
Nothing doing.

490
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:11,570
You're going to appeal.

491
00:36:11,637 --> 00:36:13,372
And, by the way,
I want you to know

492
00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:16,007
that I kept the accounts
absolutely straight.

493
00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:17,576
What do you mean "accounts"?

494
00:36:17,643 --> 00:36:19,110
Well, it takes money
to file an appeal.

495
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:20,212
Well, pay the $2.00.

496
00:36:20,279 --> 00:36:22,013
No, no, it's too late.

497
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,315
I've already filed my briefs.

498
00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,016
Now here are the accounts.

499
00:36:25,083 --> 00:36:26,785
Never mind.

500
00:36:26,852 --> 00:36:28,086
How much did you spend?

501
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:29,988
Well, 3 stenographers
for 10 days

502
00:36:30,055 --> 00:36:31,457
at $5 a day...$150.

503
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,592
Well, that's for
preparing the briefs.

504
00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:35,961
Now, $10 a day for taking
the stenographers to lunch.

505
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:38,897
What do you mean by taking
stenographers out to lunch

506
00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:40,266
on my money?!

507
00:36:40,332 --> 00:36:42,468
Don't tell me
how to live my life.

508
00:36:42,534 --> 00:36:45,103
Now then, $100 a day
for 3 assistants.

509
00:36:45,170 --> 00:36:47,506
$5,000 to Walter Wilson.

510
00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,241
- For what?!
- For an opinion.

511
00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:50,442
What did Wilson say?

512
00:36:50,509 --> 00:36:52,311
He said, "pay him the $2."

513
00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:54,713
$5,000 to barker, barker,
barker & barker.

514
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:57,115
What did barker, barker,
barker and, uh...

515
00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:58,684
- Barker?
- Barker.

516
00:36:58,750 --> 00:36:59,918
- What did they say?
- Well, they said,

517
00:36:59,985 --> 00:37:01,387
"pay him the $2."

518
00:37:01,453 --> 00:37:02,421
And $5,000 to Jerry geisler
for an opinion.

519
00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:03,589
What did geisler say?

520
00:37:03,655 --> 00:37:05,291
Geisler said, "pay him the $2."

521
00:37:05,357 --> 00:37:07,393
Seems to be quite
a difference of opinion.

522
00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:08,760
Oh, wait, I'm not through yet.

523
00:37:08,827 --> 00:37:12,498
Now, there's $250 to my
nephew for an opinion,

524
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,266
$150 to my niece for an opinion,

525
00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:17,269
and $75 for my wife's opinion.

526
00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,270
Well, what are you bringing them
in for?

527
00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:19,805
They're not lawyers!

528
00:37:19,871 --> 00:37:21,673
Well, everybody's
entitled to their opinion.

529
00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,042
- Ohh!
- Now comes my opinion.

530
00:37:24,109 --> 00:37:25,243
$3,000.

531
00:37:25,311 --> 00:37:27,379
Ah, but we're gonna win
this case.

532
00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:28,380
We've got an Ace in the hole.

533
00:37:28,447 --> 00:37:29,681
We've got 4 witnesses.

534
00:37:29,748 --> 00:37:31,983
What, we ain't got no witnesses.

535
00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:33,118
Oh, yes, we have.

536
00:37:33,184 --> 00:37:34,286
Two are coming from Chicago,

537
00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:35,754
and two are coming from Detroit.

538
00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:40,058
And that makes the total
expense to date, uh,

539
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:44,062
$463,663.63.

540
00:37:44,129 --> 00:37:49,100
(Raving) Oh, for goodness sake,

541
00:37:49,167 --> 00:37:52,103
will ya pay the $2?!

542
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,440
(Gavel pounds twice)

543
00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:56,475
It is the opinion of this court

544
00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:58,977
that the decision of the
lower court be reversed.

545
00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:00,879
Reversed!
Didn't I tell you?!

546
00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:01,880
Is that good?

547
00:38:01,947 --> 00:38:03,582
Silence!

548
00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:06,985
As a result of the defendant's
behavior in the subway,

549
00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:08,787
a deadly germ was spread,

550
00:38:08,854 --> 00:38:11,289
which caused the death
of 2 citizens.

551
00:38:11,357 --> 00:38:13,325
We therefore find
the defendant guilty

552
00:38:13,392 --> 00:38:15,627
of murder in the first degree,

553
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:18,263
and the defendant
is hereby sentenced

554
00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,399
to the punishment of death.

555
00:38:20,466 --> 00:38:21,667
Your honor, we appeal!

556
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:25,203
(Whimpering) Oh, pay him the $2.

557
00:38:25,270 --> 00:38:27,873
Give 'em each $2.

558
00:38:43,755 --> 00:38:47,359
Victor, you have only
a few hours left to live.

559
00:38:47,426 --> 00:38:48,627
Nonsense.

560
00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:50,762
I've got this case all sewed up.

561
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,664
You've got nothing
to worry about.

562
00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:55,300
I had the governor on the phone
all afternoon,

563
00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:57,503
and the pardon will be here
any minute.

564
00:38:57,569 --> 00:38:59,405
What would you like
for dinner, Victor?

565
00:38:59,471 --> 00:39:01,306
This will be your last meal.

566
00:39:01,373 --> 00:39:04,175
You can order anything you want.

567
00:39:04,242 --> 00:39:05,343
I can have anything?

568
00:39:05,411 --> 00:39:07,178
Anything.

569
00:39:07,245 --> 00:39:08,179
Uh, you take the order?

570
00:39:08,246 --> 00:39:09,280
Yes, sir.

571
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:12,017
Well, I'll have an order
of toast.

572
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,420
Uh, dry toast.

573
00:39:14,486 --> 00:39:18,223
Not the thin melba toast.

574
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,025
Thicker.

575
00:39:20,091 --> 00:39:21,393
And, uh...

576
00:39:21,460 --> 00:39:24,362
A cup of cocoa...

577
00:39:24,430 --> 00:39:28,634
And some stewed prunes
and cream.

578
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:32,370
Uh, no, b-better
leave out the cream.

579
00:39:32,438 --> 00:39:35,541
That's fattening.

580
00:39:35,607 --> 00:39:36,642
Aw, come on, Victor.

581
00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,410
Cheer up. Have a cigar.

582
00:39:38,477 --> 00:39:39,678
Didn't I tell you the governor

583
00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:41,246
would come through with
the pardon?

584
00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:43,882
Ha ha! Arnold never lost a case.

585
00:39:43,949 --> 00:39:45,684
It's a good thing
you had me as a lawyer,

586
00:39:45,751 --> 00:39:49,120
or you would've been
a dead pigeon, sure.

587
00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:50,589
You're a lucky man.

588
00:39:50,656 --> 00:39:53,358
Yeah, I'm a lucky man.

589
00:39:53,425 --> 00:39:55,160
You ruined my business,

590
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,495
you wrecked my health,

591
00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,530
you spent all my money.

592
00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:02,233
My wife left me
because I'm an ex-convict.

593
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:03,969
My children are disgraced.

594
00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:08,039
I'm a ruined man,
and all because of you!

595
00:40:08,106 --> 00:40:10,141
You're a lawyer!

596
00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:13,979
Phooey!

597
00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:15,981
- You're under arrest.
- What, again?!

598
00:40:16,047 --> 00:40:16,948
Pay him the $2.

599
00:40:17,015 --> 00:40:18,316
Don't worry,
Victor, they can't...

600
00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:22,020
Please pay him the $2.

601
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:25,691
Don't do a thing, Victor,
till you hear from me!

602
00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:58,757
(Trumpet notes indicate voice)

603
00:41:07,432 --> 00:41:11,136
♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

604
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,215
♪ Maybe it was the music ♪

605
00:44:44,282 --> 00:44:48,153
♪ Or the glamorous sky of blue ♪

606
00:44:48,219 --> 00:44:51,556
♪ Maybe it was the mood
I was in ♪

607
00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:55,393
♪ Or maybe it was really you ♪

608
00:44:55,460 --> 00:44:57,863
♪ Really you ♪

609
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,971
♪ This heart of mine ♪

610
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:11,743
♪ Was doing very well ♪

611
00:45:11,810 --> 00:45:16,481
♪ The world was fine ♪

612
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:20,819
♪ As far as I could tell ♪

613
00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:25,824
♪ And then quite suddenly
I saw you ♪

614
00:45:25,891 --> 00:45:30,996
♪ And I dreamed of gay amours ♪

615
00:45:31,062 --> 00:45:34,766
♪ At dawn I'll wake up singing

616
00:45:34,833 --> 00:45:39,570
sentimental overtures ♪

617
00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:43,508
♪ This heart of mine ♪

618
00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:47,913
♪ Is gaily dancing now ♪

619
00:45:47,979 --> 00:45:52,050
♪ I taste the wine ♪

620
00:45:52,117 --> 00:45:56,855
♪ Of real romancing now ♪

621
00:45:56,922 --> 00:46:02,727
♪ Somehow this crazy world
has taken on ♪

622
00:46:02,794 --> 00:46:06,131
♪ A wonderful design ♪

623
00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:09,200
♪ As long as life endures ♪

624
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:13,939
♪ It's yours,
this heart of mine ♪

625
00:49:04,342 --> 00:49:08,046
Chorus
♪ this heart of mine ♪

626
00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:11,716
♪ Was doing very well ♪

627
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:15,020
♪ The world was fine ♪

628
00:49:15,086 --> 00:49:18,323
♪ As far as I could tell ♪

629
00:49:18,389 --> 00:49:22,727
♪ And then quite suddenly
I met you ♪

630
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:26,331
♪ And I dreamed of gay amours ♪

631
00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:32,037
♪ At dawn I woke up singing
sentimental overtures ♪

632
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:36,674
♪ This heart of mine ♪

633
00:49:36,741 --> 00:49:39,910
♪ Is gaily dancing now ♪

634
00:49:39,977 --> 00:49:43,281
♪ I taste the wine ♪

635
00:49:43,348 --> 00:49:46,584
♪ Of real romancing now ♪

636
00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:51,789
♪ Somehow this crazy world
has taken on ♪

637
00:49:51,856 --> 00:49:54,292
♪ A wonderful design ♪

638
00:49:54,359 --> 00:49:57,095
♪ As long as life endures ♪

639
00:49:57,162 --> 00:50:01,666
♪ It's yours,
this heart of mine ♪

640
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:05,223
Chorus
♪ somehow this crazy world ♪

641
00:52:05,290 --> 00:52:09,894
♪ Has taken on ♪

642
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,964
♪ A wonderful design ♪

643
00:52:14,031 --> 00:52:18,068
♪ As long as life endures ♪

644
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:20,905
♪ It's yours ♪

645
00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:26,911
♪ This heart of mine ♪

646
00:52:44,195 --> 00:52:45,330
Hello, operator?

647
00:52:45,396 --> 00:52:48,132
I just dialed a number.

648
00:52:48,199 --> 00:52:49,767
What?

649
00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:52,237
No outgoing calls?

650
00:52:52,303 --> 00:52:54,339
I mailed you a check yesterday.

651
00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:57,642
You'll positively
receive it tomorrow.

652
00:52:57,708 --> 00:52:59,510
You'll leave the phone
connected?

653
00:52:59,577 --> 00:53:04,915
Thank you.
Please get me that number.

654
00:53:04,982 --> 00:53:06,150
Hello, is this the butcher?

655
00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:07,818
This is Mrs. Ederman.

656
00:53:07,885 --> 00:53:09,787
I gotta have two pound lamb

657
00:53:09,854 --> 00:53:11,922
chops right away for dinner.

658
00:53:11,989 --> 00:53:13,291
No meat?

659
00:53:13,358 --> 00:53:15,293
I mailed you a check yesterday.

660
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:19,597
You'll positively
receive it tomorrow.

661
00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:22,667
I'll get the lamb chops
tomorrow.

662
00:53:22,733 --> 00:53:26,771
Thank you.

663
00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:28,306
(Ring-ring)

664
00:53:28,373 --> 00:53:30,708
I mailed you a...
Oh, it's the door.

665
00:53:30,775 --> 00:53:32,543
Come in!

666
00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:34,078
- Mrs. Ederman?
- Yeah?

667
00:53:34,144 --> 00:53:35,980
- A cablegram.
- A cablegram?

668
00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:37,181
Yeah, from Ireland.

669
00:53:37,248 --> 00:53:38,383
Ireland, let me see.

670
00:53:38,449 --> 00:53:40,084
Who do I know in Ireland?

671
00:53:40,150 --> 00:53:41,919
I think you won the sweepstakes.

672
00:53:41,986 --> 00:53:43,153
"Congratulations.

673
00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:46,624
"Your ticket, number 44678,

674
00:53:46,691 --> 00:53:51,128
has been drawn
in the Irish sweepstake."

675
00:53:51,195 --> 00:53:52,162
Ah.

676
00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:54,064
Here.
I got no change.

677
00:53:54,131 --> 00:54:00,004
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

678
00:54:00,070 --> 00:54:01,606
I...
I won!

679
00:54:01,672 --> 00:54:04,208
I won!
Well, somebody, I won!

680
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:05,476
Oy, monty!

681
00:54:05,543 --> 00:54:06,944
Monty!

682
00:54:07,011 --> 00:54:08,212
Hello! I won!

683
00:54:08,279 --> 00:54:09,347
Oy, Ireland!

684
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:11,382
What a marvelous city.

685
00:54:11,449 --> 00:54:13,284
- Oy, is that you, monty?
- Norma, is dinner re...

686
00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:15,085
Monty! I love you!

687
00:54:15,152 --> 00:54:16,887
Oy, monty, I love you.

688
00:54:16,954 --> 00:54:18,889
What's the matter?
You been untrue to me?

689
00:54:18,956 --> 00:54:20,425
Yes...No.

690
00:54:20,491 --> 00:54:21,759
I mean, I just got
a cable from Ireland.

691
00:54:21,826 --> 00:54:24,762
Monty, have I got a surprise for
you.

692
00:54:24,829 --> 00:54:26,331
- What is it?
- You know that ticket

693
00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:28,899
you bought on the sweepstakes?

694
00:54:28,966 --> 00:54:30,100
Well, it won!

695
00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:31,502
We won a steak?

696
00:54:31,569 --> 00:54:33,504
W-w-w-w-we won
the sweepstakes?

697
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,573
Yeah!
(Wheezing)

698
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,142
A g-g-glass of water, please.

699
00:54:38,208 --> 00:54:39,209
What do you mean, water?

700
00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:40,411
Champagne.

701
00:54:40,478 --> 00:54:43,047
We're rich. All our troubles are
over.

702
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,282
Dance!
Do something!

703
00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:46,517
Oy, monty!

704
00:54:46,584 --> 00:54:48,252
We're rich!
W-w-we're rich!

705
00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:50,755
We...

706
00:54:50,821 --> 00:54:52,823
(Wheezing)

707
00:54:52,890 --> 00:54:54,258
(Stammering)

708
00:54:54,325 --> 00:54:56,060
W-w-w-wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

709
00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:57,862
Monty, don't go crazy yet.

710
00:54:57,928 --> 00:55:00,331
- Wait'll we get the money.
- I haven't gone crazy,

711
00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:01,966
but something terrible
has happened.

712
00:55:02,032 --> 00:55:03,801
What could be terrible
when we won the sweepstakes?

713
00:55:03,868 --> 00:55:05,536
Listen, I met the landlord in
the hall

714
00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:07,271
and had to pay him
the month's rent.

715
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:08,573
$45.

716
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,107
What's the difference?
We'll buy the house.

717
00:55:10,174 --> 00:55:11,275
But you don't understand.

718
00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:12,743
I only had 42.50.

719
00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:14,545
So to make up the extra
dollars and a half,

720
00:55:14,612 --> 00:55:17,181
I gave the landlord
the sweepstake ticket.

721
00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:20,585
So what?

722
00:55:20,651 --> 00:55:22,420
- What'd you say?
- I gave the landlord

723
00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:25,089
the sweepstake ticket.

724
00:55:25,155 --> 00:55:26,557
Monty dear,

725
00:55:26,624 --> 00:55:28,526
you should drop dead.

726
00:55:28,593 --> 00:55:30,428
I'll jump out the window.

727
00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,262
Who stops you?

728
00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:33,197
If the landlord knows
the ticket won,

729
00:55:33,263 --> 00:55:34,465
he won't give it back.

730
00:55:34,532 --> 00:55:36,066
But if he don't know,
we'll get it.

731
00:55:36,133 --> 00:55:37,568
- Quick!
- He's out in the hall.

732
00:55:37,635 --> 00:55:39,537
Get him!
Get him!

733
00:55:39,604 --> 00:55:41,439
(Sing-song)
Mr. Martin!

734
00:55:41,506 --> 00:55:43,173
Mr. Martin?

735
00:55:43,240 --> 00:55:45,342
Mr. Martin!

736
00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:47,111
Ah, come in, Mr. Martin.

737
00:55:47,177 --> 00:55:48,413
Funny.
My wife was just

738
00:55:48,479 --> 00:55:49,814
talking about you.

739
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,348
- Hello, Mrs. Ederman.
- Oh, Mr. Martin,

740
00:55:51,416 --> 00:55:52,349
sit down.

741
00:55:52,417 --> 00:55:53,484
You look good.

742
00:55:53,551 --> 00:55:55,653
You look absolutely wonderful.

743
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,488
Uh...Make yourself
at home.

744
00:55:57,555 --> 00:55:59,123
Here, take an apple.

745
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,259
You know, Mr. Martin,
my wife is so superstitious

746
00:56:02,326 --> 00:56:04,495
- about that sweepstake ticket.
- Ha ha!

747
00:56:04,562 --> 00:56:06,497
If you'll let me have it back,
I'll give you

748
00:56:06,564 --> 00:56:08,365
-the $2.50 tomorrow.
- Oh, if that's why

749
00:56:08,433 --> 00:56:09,900
you called me in, I'm going.

750
00:56:09,967 --> 00:56:11,602
I've got the ticket
right here in my wallet,

751
00:56:11,669 --> 00:56:13,303
and that's where
it's going to stay.

752
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,939
No, no, Mr. Martin.

753
00:56:15,005 --> 00:56:17,608
You know, you never
come around to see us.

754
00:56:17,675 --> 00:56:19,977
And we're always
so glad to see you.

755
00:56:20,044 --> 00:56:23,414
Uh, why don't you make
yourself comfortable?

756
00:56:23,481 --> 00:56:25,015
Go on, take off your coat.

757
00:56:25,082 --> 00:56:26,417
- Sure.
- Take it off.

758
00:56:26,484 --> 00:56:28,052
It's hot in here, you know.

759
00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:29,286
Oh, it's so wrinkled.

760
00:56:29,353 --> 00:56:30,488
I could press it for you.

761
00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:32,356
Oh, thank you.

762
00:56:32,423 --> 00:56:34,358
Eeh, the pants is wrinkled, too.

763
00:56:34,425 --> 00:56:36,193
I could press the whole
suit in a jiffy.

764
00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:37,361
Oh, no, never mind.

765
00:56:37,428 --> 00:56:38,463
Sure, take off your pants.

766
00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:39,730
Never mind the pants.

767
00:56:39,797 --> 00:56:41,265
If it'll make you feel more at
home,

768
00:56:41,331 --> 00:56:42,867
- I'll take off mine.
- No, no, no.

769
00:56:42,933 --> 00:56:43,801
Just press the coat.

770
00:56:43,868 --> 00:56:45,470
Do you know that
I have a feeling

771
00:56:45,536 --> 00:56:47,271
that this ticket's gonna win?

772
00:56:47,337 --> 00:56:49,306
Ha ha ha ha ha!

773
00:56:49,373 --> 00:56:51,509
Pardon me, I don't feel so good.

774
00:56:51,576 --> 00:56:53,277
(Doorbell)
Come in!

775
00:56:53,343 --> 00:56:55,145
Here, Mr. Martin.
Sit down again.

776
00:56:55,212 --> 00:56:56,714
- Have an apple.
- Oh, thanks.

777
00:56:56,781 --> 00:56:58,082
Cablegram, Mrs. Ederman.

778
00:56:58,148 --> 00:56:59,249
Congratulations!
Thank you.

779
00:56:59,316 --> 00:57:01,886
Beat it.

780
00:57:09,460 --> 00:57:10,595
Ay!

781
00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,029
Why
did he offer you congratulatons?

782
00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,898
- A relative died.
- Oh, that's too bad.

783
00:57:13,964 --> 00:57:16,333
Yeah, it's terrible, ain't it?

784
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,102
Now I'm gonna press your coat.

785
00:57:18,168 --> 00:57:23,340
Thank you.

786
00:57:23,407 --> 00:57:24,374
Monty.

787
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:25,543
Monty,

788
00:57:25,610 --> 00:57:26,944
a London syndicate

789
00:57:27,011 --> 00:57:30,815
is offering us $25,000
for the ticket.

790
00:57:30,881 --> 00:57:33,751
And we ain't got the ticket!

791
00:57:33,818 --> 00:57:35,019
(Wheezing, stammering)

792
00:57:35,085 --> 00:57:37,888
Talk. Talk. Talk, talk.

793
00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:39,356
I...I...I...I...

794
00:57:39,423 --> 00:57:41,025
Don't say a word.
Don't say a word.

795
00:57:41,091 --> 00:57:44,061
The trouble with you,
you get too excited.

796
00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:46,764
Don't get excited!

797
00:57:58,308 --> 00:57:59,644
Don't get excited.

798
00:57:59,710 --> 00:58:01,345
Don't get excited.

799
00:58:01,411 --> 00:58:02,680
Hold yourself together.

800
00:58:02,747 --> 00:58:05,583
Don't go to pieces!

801
00:58:05,650 --> 00:58:10,220
Hold yourself together.

802
00:58:10,287 --> 00:58:16,126
- You all right?
- Fine.

803
00:58:16,193 --> 00:58:17,194
What'll we do?

804
00:58:17,261 --> 00:58:18,328
What'll we do?!

805
00:58:18,395 --> 00:58:19,530
Let's tell him the truth.

806
00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:21,465
Maybe he'll give us half
the money.

807
00:58:21,532 --> 00:58:23,768
Poison he'll give us.

808
00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:26,604
That's what's the trouble
with you.

809
00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:28,338
You get excited.

810
00:58:28,405 --> 00:58:31,375
You go to pieces.

811
00:58:31,441 --> 00:58:32,777
I got an idea.

812
00:58:32,843 --> 00:58:36,747
If we get excited,
he'll get suspicious.

813
00:58:36,814 --> 00:58:40,217
So we'll go in there, and
we'll act very nonchalantly.

814
00:58:40,284 --> 00:58:41,719
You know, namby-pamby?

815
00:58:41,786 --> 00:58:43,788
- Pamby-namby?
- See, like nothing happened.

816
00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:45,956
Wait, where's a cigarette?

817
00:58:46,023 --> 00:58:47,357
Here.
Here.

818
00:58:47,424 --> 00:58:48,525
Put a cigarette in there.

819
00:58:48,593 --> 00:58:50,260
Now laugh. Laugh like you

820
00:58:50,327 --> 00:58:51,361
told me a funny story,

821
00:58:51,428 --> 00:58:53,363
like nothing happened. Laugh!

822
00:58:53,430 --> 00:58:54,632
Ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

823
00:58:54,699 --> 00:58:55,800
Ha ha ha ha!

824
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,368
Oh, monty. Ha ha ha ha!

825
00:58:58,435 --> 00:59:00,004
That was the funniest story.

826
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:01,639
Ha ha ha!

827
00:59:01,706 --> 00:59:04,474
Tell it to him.
Ha ha ha!

828
00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:05,976
Mr. Martin, my wife

829
00:59:06,043 --> 00:59:08,012
is so in love with
that sweepstake ticket.

830
00:59:08,078 --> 00:59:10,715
Not that it means anything,
just a whim.

831
00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:12,449
Mr. Martin, if that
ticket did win,

832
00:59:12,516 --> 00:59:14,451
- what would you do?
- I'd hop on a boat,

833
00:59:14,518 --> 00:59:18,155
go over to Ireland,
and collect the money.

834
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:20,124
Monty.

835
00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:23,193
Monty.

836
00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:25,730
Monty, it didn't work.

837
00:59:25,796 --> 00:59:27,632
We was too namby-pamby.

838
00:59:27,698 --> 00:59:29,399
Now, what'll we do?

839
00:59:29,466 --> 00:59:30,500
Honesty is the best policy.

840
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:31,702
Let's tell him the truth.

841
00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:32,970
There must be an easier way.

842
00:59:33,037 --> 00:59:34,805
George Washington told
the truth.

843
00:59:34,872 --> 00:59:36,340
Did he win a sweepstakes?

844
00:59:36,406 --> 00:59:37,908
Besides, this man is

845
00:59:37,975 --> 00:59:40,377
holding back our property.

846
00:59:40,444 --> 00:59:42,747
- Here, take this vase.
- What for?

847
00:59:42,813 --> 00:59:44,615
Just a light tap, not hard.

848
00:59:44,682 --> 00:59:46,717
Just a little tap on his head.

849
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:47,818
Don't break the vase.

850
00:59:47,885 --> 00:59:49,286
Why should I hit him?

851
00:59:49,353 --> 00:59:51,255
Say he tried to kiss me.

852
00:59:51,321 --> 00:59:52,256
Who would believe it?

853
00:59:52,322 --> 00:59:54,324
I can dream, can't I?

854
00:59:54,391 --> 00:59:55,559
Wait!

855
00:59:55,626 --> 00:59:57,494
I know how to get the ticket.

856
00:59:57,561 --> 00:59:59,429
I'll flirt with him.

857
00:59:59,496 --> 01:00:00,765
Oy!

858
01:00:00,831 --> 01:00:03,167
If I only had a sweater.

859
01:00:03,233 --> 01:00:05,770
I'll take this.

860
01:00:05,836 --> 01:00:08,639
I'll get that ticket,
or my middle name ain't Violet.

861
01:00:08,706 --> 01:00:11,575
I'll captivate him.

862
01:00:11,642 --> 01:00:12,843
Am I captivating?

863
01:00:12,910 --> 01:00:14,779
I never noticed it before.

864
01:00:14,845 --> 01:00:16,647
Norma, I think you've got
something there,

865
01:00:16,714 --> 01:00:18,215
but don't go too far.

866
01:00:18,282 --> 01:00:19,650
No.
Just far enough

867
01:00:19,717 --> 01:00:22,286
to get the ticket.

868
01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:30,695
What's the matter?

869
01:00:30,761 --> 01:00:32,296
You hurt yourself?

870
01:00:32,362 --> 01:00:34,732
No.

871
01:00:34,799 --> 01:00:36,934
You know, Mr. Martin,

872
01:00:37,001 --> 01:00:42,072
I find life just too dull
for words.

873
01:00:43,573 --> 01:00:44,608
Ain't you?

874
01:00:44,675 --> 01:00:45,609
What?

875
01:00:45,676 --> 01:00:47,477
All my life...

876
01:00:47,544 --> 01:00:49,079
All my life...

877
01:00:49,146 --> 01:00:52,216
I've been languishing away
in this terrible flat.

878
01:00:52,282 --> 01:00:54,251
What's the matter?
Is there something wrong

879
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:55,786
with the plumbing?

880
01:00:55,853 --> 01:00:58,255
No.
It's not that.

881
01:00:58,322 --> 01:00:59,824
It's my husband.

882
01:00:59,890 --> 01:01:02,192
He don't understand me.

883
01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:03,894
Oh!
Is that so?

884
01:01:03,961 --> 01:01:05,495
Well, do you know,
Mrs. Ederman,

885
01:01:05,562 --> 01:01:08,332
you're looking very attractive?

886
01:01:08,398 --> 01:01:10,400
You think so?

887
01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:12,036
Kootchie-kootchie-kootchie.

888
01:01:12,102 --> 01:01:14,905
Would you like
to loll away the time?

889
01:01:14,972 --> 01:01:17,742
- Yes.
- Shall I turn on the radio?

890
01:01:17,808 --> 01:01:19,409
- And we'll dance!
- Yeah.

891
01:01:19,476 --> 01:01:21,178
And we'll have a good time.

892
01:01:21,245 --> 01:01:23,748
Ha ha!

893
01:01:23,814 --> 01:01:24,882
Can you do the jitterbug?

894
01:01:24,949 --> 01:01:26,583
Well, I'll take a chance.

895
01:01:26,650 --> 01:01:29,619
Ahh! Spanish, señor Martin.

896
01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:31,421
You know, my grandfather
was a Spaniard.

897
01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:33,523
¿Si?

898
01:01:33,590 --> 01:01:36,160
(Rumba music plays)

899
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,016
(Changes to conga rhythm)

900
01:02:03,988 --> 01:02:05,722
So that's what
you're up to, huh?

901
01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:07,024
The old badger game.

902
01:02:07,091 --> 01:02:08,625
Well, you'll not
get away with it.

903
01:02:08,692 --> 01:02:09,994
I'll have you both arrested.

904
01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:11,962
Oh, please don't do that, Mr.
Martin.

905
01:02:12,029 --> 01:02:14,064
I might as well
tell you the truth.

906
01:02:14,131 --> 01:02:15,800
That ticket you got...

907
01:02:15,866 --> 01:02:17,267
Won the sweepstakes,

908
01:02:17,334 --> 01:02:21,671
and they're offering
$25,000 for it.

909
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,373
You mean this ticket won?

910
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:24,441
It won!

911
01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:31,748
You're right, monty.

912
01:02:31,816 --> 01:02:35,920
Honesty is the best policy.

913
01:03:57,001 --> 01:04:01,138
♪ Love can be
a moment's madness ♪

914
01:04:01,205 --> 01:04:05,075
♪ Love can be insane ♪

915
01:04:05,142 --> 01:04:07,744
♪ Love can be a life

916
01:04:07,811 --> 01:04:13,183
of sadness and pain ♪

917
01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:17,687
♪ Love can be a summer shower ♪

918
01:04:17,754 --> 01:04:21,491
♪ Love can be the sun ♪

919
01:04:21,558 --> 01:04:23,961
♪ Love can be two hearts

920
01:04:24,028 --> 01:04:29,766
that flower as one ♪

921
01:04:29,833 --> 01:04:33,837
♪ It can be ♪

922
01:04:33,904 --> 01:04:37,975
♪ Fine and free ♪

923
01:04:38,042 --> 01:04:41,912
♪ But it's true ♪

924
01:04:41,979 --> 01:04:46,150
♪ It doesn't always happen
to you ♪

925
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:50,587
♪ Love can be a dying Ember ♪

926
01:04:50,654 --> 01:04:54,291
♪ Love can be a flame ♪

927
01:04:54,358 --> 01:04:58,695
♪ Loved pledged in September ♪

928
01:04:58,762 --> 01:05:03,067
♪ May be dead in December ♪

929
01:05:03,133 --> 01:05:09,273
♪ You may not even remember
it came ♪

930
01:05:10,874 --> 01:05:15,145
♪ Oh, love can be
a joy forever ♪

931
01:05:15,212 --> 01:05:19,216
♪ Or an empty name ♪

932
01:05:19,283 --> 01:05:25,422
♪ Love is almost never
ever the same ♪

933
01:05:39,503 --> 01:05:44,208
♪ Oh, love can be
a cup of sorrow ♪

934
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:48,045
♪ Love can be a lie ♪

935
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:52,749
♪ Love can make you
wake tomorrow

936
01:05:52,816 --> 01:05:56,253
and sigh ♪

937
01:05:56,320 --> 01:06:00,724
♪ Love can be a snow-capped
mountain ♪

938
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:04,261
♪ Love can be the truth ♪

939
01:06:04,328 --> 01:06:08,798
♪ Love can be an endless
fountain

940
01:06:08,865 --> 01:06:12,869
of youth ♪

941
01:06:12,936 --> 01:06:16,940
♪ It can be ♪

942
01:06:17,007 --> 01:06:21,011
♪ Ecstasy ♪

943
01:06:21,078 --> 01:06:24,981
♪ But that kind ♪

944
01:06:25,049 --> 01:06:28,118
♪ Is not so very easy to find ♪

945
01:06:28,185 --> 01:06:33,690
♪ Oh, love can be
a tinkling cymbal ♪

946
01:06:33,757 --> 01:06:37,194
♪ Love can be a dirge ♪

947
01:06:37,261 --> 01:06:41,231
♪ Love may seem amusing ♪

948
01:06:41,298 --> 01:06:45,235
♪ A spark constantly fusing ♪

949
01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:49,639
♪ But it may end up by losing ♪

950
01:06:49,706 --> 01:06:52,442
♪ Its urge ♪

951
01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:58,048
♪ Oh, love can be
a sweet endeavor ♪

952
01:06:58,115 --> 01:07:02,186
♪ Or a dirty shame ♪

953
01:07:02,252 --> 01:07:08,392
♪ Love is almost never ever ♪

954
01:07:09,226 --> 01:07:15,332
♪ The same ♪

955
01:07:32,482 --> 01:07:36,653
(Radio broadcast signal beeps)

956
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:40,290
This is the clumsy television
broadcasting system.

957
01:07:40,357 --> 01:07:42,326
When you hear the musical note,
will somebody call me up

958
01:07:42,392 --> 01:07:46,396
and tell me what time it is?

959
01:07:46,463 --> 01:07:47,831
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

960
01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:49,399
Lovely evening, isn't it?

961
01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,235
Wheel your mother-in-law
close to the radio

962
01:07:51,301 --> 01:07:54,238
because this is
the guzzler's gin program.

963
01:07:54,304 --> 01:07:56,473
Have you tried guzzler's?
It comes in two sizes

964
01:07:56,540 --> 01:07:58,375
the college size
and the jumbo elephant size.

965
01:07:58,442 --> 01:08:01,511
With guzzler's,
there's no bad taste, no af...

966
01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:10,887
No bad taste, no after-effect,
no upsetting the nerves.

967
01:08:10,954 --> 01:08:12,989
Just a nice smooth drink.

968
01:08:13,056 --> 01:08:15,292
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.

969
01:08:15,359 --> 01:08:17,794
But be sure and ask
for guzzler's gin,

970
01:08:17,861 --> 01:08:20,397
a nice smooth drink.

971
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,541
(Whistles through his teeth)

972
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:33,310
Mmm!

973
01:08:33,377 --> 01:08:34,544
(Hoarse, rasping)
Guzz...

974
01:08:34,611 --> 01:08:35,279
(Clears throat)

975
01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:36,680
Guzzler's gin, friends.

976
01:08:36,746 --> 01:08:38,615
(Clears throat) Drink a
little after dinner.

977
01:08:38,682 --> 01:08:41,585
Drink some before, you won't
have to eat any dinner.

978
01:08:41,651 --> 01:08:43,687
I'll be back in a moment
with more from our sponsors.

979
01:08:43,753 --> 01:08:46,756
In the meantime, here is
our guest star of the evening,

980
01:08:46,823 --> 01:08:47,957
Mr., uh...

981
01:08:48,024 --> 01:08:50,160
Mr., uh...Mm, mm.

982
01:08:50,227 --> 01:08:55,732
Subpoena.

983
01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:56,966
J. Newton numbskull,

984
01:08:57,033 --> 01:08:59,236
doctor of poetry.

985
01:08:59,303 --> 01:09:01,705
Thank you, thank you.

986
01:09:01,771 --> 01:09:04,140
My first poem

987
01:09:04,208 --> 01:09:06,843
"greetings..."

988
01:09:12,349 --> 01:09:14,684
My first poem algy.

989
01:09:14,751 --> 01:09:17,321
"Algy saw a bear,
the bear saw algy,

990
01:09:17,387 --> 01:09:20,824
the bear was bulgy,

991
01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:24,361
the bulge was algy."

992
01:09:24,428 --> 01:09:25,629
And now back to our announcer

993
01:09:25,695 --> 01:09:30,867
and more from our
sponsors, guzzler's gin.

994
01:09:30,934 --> 01:09:32,736
Thank you, newty.
Thank you.

995
01:09:32,802 --> 01:09:34,838
Hmm-mmm.

996
01:09:34,904 --> 01:09:36,673
(Chortling)

997
01:09:36,740 --> 01:09:41,110
This is the guzzler's gin
program you're looking at.

998
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:42,178
Have you tried guzzler's?

999
01:09:42,246 --> 01:09:44,080
It comes in two sizes.

1000
01:09:44,147 --> 01:09:45,415
Get the college size.

1001
01:09:45,482 --> 01:09:47,484
One bottle, and you're

1002
01:09:47,551 --> 01:09:49,353
in a class by yourself.

1003
01:09:49,419 --> 01:09:52,889
With guzzler's there's
no bad taste, no after-effect,

1004
01:09:52,956 --> 01:09:56,426
no upsetting the nerves.

1005
01:09:56,493 --> 01:10:00,464
Just a nice smooth drink.

1006
01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,569
Pour a little
in your glass...Oh!

1007
01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:12,576
There goes my nails.

1008
01:10:12,642 --> 01:10:15,345
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.

1009
01:10:15,412 --> 01:10:17,814
But be sure and ask
for guzzler's gin,

1010
01:10:17,881 --> 01:10:22,151
a nice smooth drink.

1011
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:23,887
(Coughs)

1012
01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:25,355
(Sputters)

1013
01:10:25,422 --> 01:10:29,659
Oh, why can't I get
an oatmeal program?

1014
01:10:29,726 --> 01:10:35,899
Guzzler's, a nice smooth drink.

1015
01:10:35,965 --> 01:10:39,703
Mmmmmhh!

1016
01:10:39,769 --> 01:10:44,073
(Sputters)

1017
01:10:44,140 --> 01:10:46,142
(Wheezes)

1018
01:10:46,209 --> 01:10:47,311
(Hoarse)
Guzzler's gin, friends.

1019
01:10:47,377 --> 01:10:48,612
(Clears throat)

1020
01:10:48,678 --> 01:10:50,814
It comes in five...
Uh, two sizes.

1021
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:52,015
Two sizes.

1022
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:53,850
Now back to our guest star

1023
01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:55,319
J. Newton numbskull.

1024
01:10:55,385 --> 01:10:58,922
Thank you, thank you,
you drunken tramp, you.

1025
01:10:58,988 --> 01:11:00,023
Mm-hmm...

1026
01:11:00,089 --> 01:11:01,525
My next poem

1027
01:11:01,591 --> 01:11:06,396
"put 15 cents on number..."

1028
01:11:06,463 --> 01:11:09,633
My next poem the garters.

1029
01:11:09,699 --> 01:11:11,401
"I bought my girl some garters,

1030
01:11:11,468 --> 01:11:12,636
"at the local 5-and-10,

1031
01:11:12,702 --> 01:11:14,137
"she gave them to her mother,

1032
01:11:14,203 --> 01:11:16,906
that's the last I'll see
of them."

1033
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:23,713
And now back to our announcer,

1034
01:11:23,780 --> 01:11:27,951
who will sign off the guzzler's
gin program.

1035
01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:44,334
Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth.

1036
01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:45,935
Have you tried guzzler's?

1037
01:11:46,002 --> 01:11:49,539
It comes in 29 sizes.

1038
01:11:49,606 --> 01:11:52,275
With guzzler's
you don't need a chaser.

1039
01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:55,845
Nothin' could catch it.

1040
01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:58,281
Save money, get the jumbo
elephant size.

1041
01:11:58,348 --> 01:12:00,817
Only 25 cents a quart.

1042
01:12:00,884 --> 01:12:05,489
Return the bottle
and get your 15 cents back.

1043
01:12:05,555 --> 01:12:10,827
Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth.

1044
01:12:10,894 --> 01:12:11,761
(Gasps)

1045
01:12:11,828 --> 01:12:13,897
Thought it was my tongue hangin'
out.

1046
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:15,031
Heh heh.

1047
01:12:15,098 --> 01:12:17,967
Pour a little in your glass.

1048
01:12:24,508 --> 01:12:28,945
(Whimpering)

1049
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,682
Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth.

1050
01:12:32,749 --> 01:12:34,884
Pour a little in your glass...
I'll get rid of it somehow.

1051
01:12:34,951 --> 01:12:39,055
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.

1052
01:12:53,603 --> 01:12:56,540
Smo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oth.

1053
01:13:09,018 --> 01:13:11,588
(Gong clangs)

1054
01:13:11,655 --> 01:13:14,558
(Chinese-themed music plays)

1055
01:13:32,576 --> 01:13:36,780
Cabaret singer
♪ in limehouse ♪

1056
01:13:36,846 --> 01:13:41,117
♪ Where orientals love to play ♪

1057
01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:45,021
♪ In limehouse ♪

1058
01:13:45,088 --> 01:13:49,425
♪ Where you can hear
those blues all day ♪

1059
01:13:49,493 --> 01:13:53,663
♪ And they seem all around ♪

1060
01:13:53,730 --> 01:13:58,434
♪ Like a long, long sigh ♪

1061
01:13:58,502 --> 01:14:04,373
♪ Queer sob song... ♪

1062
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:06,610
(Carousing drowns out singer)

1063
01:14:06,676 --> 01:14:08,011
Singer on phonograph
♪ and everywhere we go ♪

1064
01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:09,646
♪ The people
always up and stare ♪

1065
01:14:09,713 --> 01:14:11,380
♪ 'Cause when we're walkin'
down the strand ♪

1066
01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:12,982
♪ We're such a lovely sight ♪

1067
01:14:13,049 --> 01:14:14,818
♪ And everything
was simply grand ♪

1068
01:14:14,884 --> 01:14:16,686
♪ That is, until last night ♪

1069
01:14:16,753 --> 01:14:18,387
♪ He pinched me, he pinched me ♪

1070
01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,356
♪ He wouldn't let me be ♪

1071
01:14:20,423 --> 01:14:24,160
♪ I think he did it just to
make me lose my dignity... ♪

1072
01:14:34,203 --> 01:14:36,640
Street singer ♪ last night,
down our alley came a toff ♪

1073
01:14:36,706 --> 01:14:39,809
♪ Nice old geezer
with a nasty cough ♪

1074
01:14:39,876 --> 01:14:43,379
♪ Sees my missis,
takes his caddy off ♪

1075
01:14:43,446 --> 01:14:46,049
♪ In a very gentlemanly way ♪

1076
01:14:46,115 --> 01:14:49,485
♪ Ma'am, says he,
I have some news to tell ♪

1077
01:14:49,553 --> 01:14:52,188
♪ Your rich uncle,
Tom of camberwell ♪

1078
01:14:52,255 --> 01:14:55,792
♪ Has popped off and really
now, it ain't a sell ♪

1079
01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:59,262
♪ Left to you
his little donkey shay ♪

1080
01:14:59,328 --> 01:15:00,630
♪ Wotcher!

1081
01:15:00,697 --> 01:15:01,931
All the neighbors say ♪

1082
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:03,800
♪ Who ya goin' to meet, bill ♪

1083
01:15:03,867 --> 01:15:05,434
♪ Think ya own
the street, bill ♪

1084
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,236
♪ laugh? I thought

1085
01:15:07,303 --> 01:15:08,738
I would've died ♪

1086
01:15:08,805 --> 01:15:11,240
♪ Knocked 'im
in the old Kent road ♪

1087
01:16:26,816 --> 01:16:28,685
Cabaret singer
♪ oh, limehouse kid ♪

1088
01:16:28,752 --> 01:16:34,423
♪ Oh-oh-oh, limehouse kid ♪

1089
01:16:34,490 --> 01:16:36,760
♪ Going the way

1090
01:16:36,826 --> 01:16:42,398
that the rest of them did ♪

1091
01:16:42,465 --> 01:16:46,469
♪ Poor broken blossom

1092
01:16:46,535 --> 01:16:50,539
and nobody's child ♪

1093
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:53,843
♪ Haunting and taunting ♪

1094
01:16:53,910 --> 01:16:59,315
♪ You're just kinda wild,

1095
01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:00,717
oh, oh ♪

1096
01:17:00,784 --> 01:17:02,786
♪ Oh, limehouse blues ♪

1097
01:17:02,852 --> 01:17:08,424
♪ I've the real
limehouse blues ♪

1098
01:17:08,491 --> 01:17:11,795
♪ Learned from the Willow ♪

1099
01:17:11,861 --> 01:17:16,465
♪ Those sad China blues ♪

1100
01:17:16,532 --> 01:17:20,469
♪ Rings on your fingers ♪

1101
01:17:20,536 --> 01:17:25,341
♪ And tears for a crown ♪

1102
01:17:25,408 --> 01:17:30,646
♪ That is the story

1103
01:17:30,714 --> 01:17:35,919
of old Chinatown ♪

1104
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:56,239
(Gunshot)

1105
01:17:59,575 --> 01:18:02,145
(Gunshot)

1106
01:18:08,484 --> 01:18:11,054
(Rapid gunshots)

1107
01:25:57,353 --> 01:26:03,492
♪ Rings on your fingers ♪

1108
01:26:04,627 --> 01:26:10,666
♪ And tears for a crown ♪

1109
01:26:11,967 --> 01:26:17,906
♪ That is the story

1110
01:26:20,309 --> 01:26:26,449
of old Chinatown ♪

1111
01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:44,767
(Doorbell rings)

1112
01:26:51,274 --> 01:26:53,842
(Ring-ring-ring)

1113
01:26:59,014 --> 01:27:01,984
♪ We are here to interview
a lady ♪

1114
01:27:02,050 --> 01:27:05,688
♪ Known to you
because of her ability ♪

1115
01:27:05,754 --> 01:27:09,392
♪ As the glamorous,
amorous lady they call... ♪

1116
01:27:09,458 --> 01:27:11,126
She's expecting you, gentlemen.

1117
01:27:11,193 --> 01:27:13,061
Won't you come in?

1118
01:27:13,128 --> 01:27:14,663
♪ Now, we don't mean Greta ♪

1119
01:27:14,730 --> 01:27:16,532
♪ And we don't mean Bette-a ♪

1120
01:27:16,599 --> 01:27:19,702
♪ Or Loretta or
the song of Bernadette-a ♪

1121
01:27:19,768 --> 01:27:23,606
♪ We mean the fabulous,
dabulous lady they call... ♪

1122
01:27:23,672 --> 01:27:25,774
The other gentlemen are here.

1123
01:27:25,841 --> 01:27:27,142
Please come in.

1124
01:27:27,209 --> 01:27:28,577
♪ She's news ♪

1125
01:27:28,644 --> 01:27:30,479
♪ She's front-page stuff ♪

1126
01:27:30,546 --> 01:27:32,247
♪ She's headline ♪

1127
01:27:32,315 --> 01:27:33,982
♪ She's tops ♪

1128
01:27:34,049 --> 01:27:36,519
♪ And in advance the critics

1129
01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:38,454
are all in accord ♪

1130
01:27:38,521 --> 01:27:41,390
♪ She's gonna win the next
academy award ♪

1131
01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:43,091
♪ All her fans
will be delighted ♪

1132
01:27:43,158 --> 01:27:44,727
♪ Not to mention quite excited ♪

1133
01:27:44,793 --> 01:27:47,830
♪ At her personal appearance
presently ♪

1134
01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:50,333
♪ She's stupendous, tremendous ♪

1135
01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:52,034
♪ Collosical, terrifical ♪

1136
01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:53,235
♪ She's got it ♪

1137
01:27:53,302 --> 01:27:55,504
♪ But definitely ♪

1138
01:27:55,571 --> 01:27:57,906
♪ The glamorous ♪

1139
01:27:57,973 --> 01:27:59,174
♪ Amorous ♪

1140
01:27:59,241 --> 01:28:05,180
♪ lady they call-all-all ♪

1141
01:28:05,247 --> 01:28:07,850
Shh.

1142
01:28:46,822 --> 01:28:48,457
(Delicate, cultured tone)
Fribbins...

1143
01:28:48,524 --> 01:28:50,493
What is all this?

1144
01:28:50,559 --> 01:28:54,329
The gentlemen
of the press, milady.

1145
01:28:54,397 --> 01:28:56,932
Darlings.

1146
01:28:56,999 --> 01:29:02,605
How utterly charming of you
to have dropped in like this.

1147
01:29:02,671 --> 01:29:06,174
How delightfully informal
of you to have...

1148
01:29:06,241 --> 01:29:09,578
Well, dropped in like this.

1149
01:29:09,645 --> 01:29:13,281
I mean, how perfectly marvelous

1150
01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:16,785
of you to have...

1151
01:29:16,852 --> 01:29:17,653
Well...

1152
01:29:17,720 --> 01:29:21,857
You have dropped
in, haven't you?

1153
01:29:21,924 --> 01:29:23,459
And I...

1154
01:29:23,526 --> 01:29:26,429
Well, gentlemen...

1155
01:29:26,495 --> 01:29:30,899
You have caught me
pitifully unprepared.

1156
01:29:42,745 --> 01:29:44,046
And now...

1157
01:29:44,112 --> 01:29:47,883
You may rise.

1158
01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:49,051
And now...

1159
01:29:49,117 --> 01:29:51,219
You may rise.

1160
01:29:51,286 --> 01:29:52,354
Oh, oh, come!

1161
01:29:52,421 --> 01:29:54,289
Get up, get up, get up, get up.

1162
01:29:54,356 --> 01:29:55,991
Let's get on with this.

1163
01:29:56,058 --> 01:29:57,092
There, now.

1164
01:29:57,159 --> 01:29:58,193
That's better.

1165
01:29:58,260 --> 01:29:59,327
Isn't it?

1166
01:29:59,394 --> 01:30:00,496
(Reporters all talking at once)

1167
01:30:00,563 --> 01:30:03,298
Gentlemen...Of the press.

1168
01:30:03,365 --> 01:30:05,434
Members of the fourth estate.

1169
01:30:05,501 --> 01:30:07,202
What can I do for you?

1170
01:30:07,269 --> 01:30:09,304
Tell me, pray do.

1171
01:30:09,371 --> 01:30:12,207
♪ Oh, glamorous lady ♪

1172
01:30:12,274 --> 01:30:14,610
♪ Oh, glamorous lady ♪

1173
01:30:14,677 --> 01:30:17,480
♪ Oh, amorous lady ♪

1174
01:30:17,546 --> 01:30:22,485
♪ Here's to-o-o-o you ♪

1175
01:30:22,551 --> 01:30:25,320
♪ And humbly we're here to ♪

1176
01:30:25,387 --> 01:30:28,223
♪ Quite mumbly we're here to ♪

1177
01:30:28,290 --> 01:30:31,126
♪ Humdrumly we're here

1178
01:30:31,193 --> 01:30:36,064
to interview you ♪

1179
01:30:38,133 --> 01:30:41,036
(Swing rhythm begins)

1180
01:30:41,103 --> 01:30:44,473
♪ We're here to pry
into your private life ♪

1181
01:30:44,540 --> 01:30:46,842
♪ We're here to seek
your every secret ♪

1182
01:30:46,909 --> 01:30:50,946
♪ We're here to scoop
a scoop obviously ♪

1183
01:30:51,013 --> 01:30:54,249
♪ What is your next vehicle
to be ♪

1184
01:30:54,316 --> 01:30:55,784
(Tempo slows again)

1185
01:30:55,851 --> 01:30:59,622
(Grandly)
This is much too much.

1186
01:30:59,688 --> 01:31:04,292
A sort of a bit
of a go-and-touch.

1187
01:31:04,359 --> 01:31:06,461
But confidentially, gentlemen,

1188
01:31:06,529 --> 01:31:08,931
and this is off the record
of course.

1189
01:31:08,997 --> 01:31:11,266
Of course.

1190
01:31:11,333 --> 01:31:12,467
But...

1191
01:31:12,535 --> 01:31:15,938
About my next picture.

1192
01:31:16,004 --> 01:31:21,443
I'm faced with
a curious problem.

1193
01:31:21,510 --> 01:31:26,414
♪ Shall I always be dramatic ♪

1194
01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:29,151
♪ Biographically emphatic ♪

1195
01:31:29,217 --> 01:31:34,957
♪ Should I devote my life
to the legitimate Art ♪

1196
01:31:35,023 --> 01:31:38,794
♪ Or should I do
what I'd adore so ♪

1197
01:31:38,861 --> 01:31:42,831
♪ Do my acting with my torso ♪

1198
01:31:42,898 --> 01:31:46,602
♪ And give all the natives
a start ♪

1199
01:31:46,669 --> 01:31:50,505
♪ Must the roles I play
be tragic ♪

1200
01:31:50,573 --> 01:31:54,677
♪ Full of Oscar-winning magic ♪

1201
01:31:54,743 --> 01:32:00,883
♪ Should I drain the cup
of drama to its dregs ♪

1202
01:32:02,585 --> 01:32:06,488
♪ Or do you think
it is permissible ♪

1203
01:32:06,555 --> 01:32:09,892
♪ To be for once
quite kissable ♪

1204
01:32:09,958 --> 01:32:15,798
♪ And give them a peep
of my legs ♪

1205
01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:19,568
♪ I'd like to be a pinup girl ♪

1206
01:32:19,635 --> 01:32:22,838
♪ A cheesecake girl, too ♪

1207
01:32:22,905 --> 01:32:28,777
♪ And what is ginger Rogers
that I am not ♪

1208
01:32:28,844 --> 01:32:32,615
♪ And what has
Betty grable got ♪

1209
01:32:32,681 --> 01:32:35,517
♪ That I haven't got ♪

1210
01:32:35,584 --> 01:32:38,821
♪ Ah, the cinema
must exhibit me ♪

1211
01:32:38,887 --> 01:32:41,890
♪ In roles that so inhibit me ♪

1212
01:32:41,957 --> 01:32:47,195
♪ I feel...Well, I feel just
like a soldier out of step ♪

1213
01:32:47,262 --> 01:32:53,101
♪ Yes but would the episode
outlive me ♪

1214
01:32:53,168 --> 01:32:57,239
♪ Would my public
quite forgive me ♪

1215
01:32:57,305 --> 01:33:03,411
♪ If I tried to show the world
I'm really hep ♪

1216
01:33:03,478 --> 01:33:07,382
(Jazzy tempo)

1217
01:33:07,449 --> 01:33:08,984
Oh, but now, you darlings,

1218
01:33:09,051 --> 01:33:12,020
you adorable, dear, dear boys.

1219
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:17,259
I'm going to tell you
all about my next picture.

1220
01:33:19,628 --> 01:33:21,830
What is my next picture?

1221
01:33:21,897 --> 01:33:23,699
No, no, don't tell me,
don't tell me.

1222
01:33:23,766 --> 01:33:25,300
Shh, shh, shh.

1223
01:33:25,367 --> 01:33:28,837
Ha!
Excuse me, darling.

1224
01:33:34,877 --> 01:33:38,881
Madame crematante.

1225
01:33:38,947 --> 01:33:41,750
Madame crematante, gentlemen,

1226
01:33:41,817 --> 01:33:45,888
will be a monumental
biographical tribute

1227
01:33:45,954 --> 01:33:50,292
to a monumental
biographical woman...

1228
01:33:50,358 --> 01:33:51,727
Who...

1229
01:33:51,794 --> 01:33:55,463
Toiled, searched...

1230
01:33:55,530 --> 01:34:00,335
Starved, slaved...

1231
01:34:00,402 --> 01:34:03,338
Suffered...

1232
01:34:03,405 --> 01:34:05,073
Pioneered...

1233
01:34:05,140 --> 01:34:10,345
So that the world...
You and I...

1234
01:34:10,412 --> 01:34:14,249
Could reap the benefits of her
magnificent discovery

1235
01:34:14,316 --> 01:34:19,287
the safety pin!

1236
01:34:19,354 --> 01:34:20,723
The story starts

1237
01:34:20,789 --> 01:34:26,561
in a dark, dank, dingy
tenement in Amsterdam...

1238
01:34:26,628 --> 01:34:27,863
(Rhythmic clapping)

1239
01:34:27,930 --> 01:34:29,865
Holland, you know...

1240
01:34:29,932 --> 01:34:32,735
In the flat of a poor,
impoverished family,

1241
01:34:32,801 --> 01:34:35,237
but of rather good antecedents.

1242
01:34:35,303 --> 01:34:40,042
Gretchen crematante was a very
brave and noble woman

1243
01:34:40,108 --> 01:34:42,577
who, against the wishes
of her father...

1244
01:34:42,644 --> 01:34:44,346
The baron, you know...

1245
01:34:44,412 --> 01:34:49,284
Married this young inventor who
didn't have a sou, penniless.

1246
01:34:49,351 --> 01:34:52,287
(Jazz beat) ♪ and there
they were in Amsterdam ♪

1247
01:34:52,354 --> 01:34:53,388
♪ In Amsterdam ♪

1248
01:34:53,455 --> 01:34:54,790
♪ Yes, there they were ♪

1249
01:34:54,857 --> 01:34:56,859
♪ In a dark and dingy
tenement flat ♪

1250
01:34:56,925 --> 01:34:58,393
♪ With no food ♪

1251
01:34:58,460 --> 01:34:59,828
♪ And no heat ♪

1252
01:34:59,895 --> 01:35:01,897
♪ And no money
for to pay the rent ♪

1253
01:35:01,964 --> 01:35:02,931
♪ But did they care ♪

1254
01:35:02,998 --> 01:35:04,733
♪ No, they don't care ♪

1255
01:35:04,800 --> 01:35:06,434
♪ Madame crematante,
she don't care ♪

1256
01:35:06,501 --> 01:35:09,004
♪ 'Cause she seen the light
just the other day ♪

1257
01:35:09,071 --> 01:35:11,273
♪ Since then she been tryin'
for to find a way ♪

1258
01:35:11,339 --> 01:35:13,942
♪ For to bring to the world
a big invent ♪

1259
01:35:14,009 --> 01:35:15,477
♪ And so she did ♪

1260
01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:17,079
♪ And so she did ♪

1261
01:35:17,145 --> 01:35:19,014
♪ Whoop-de-doodie,
madame crematante did ♪

1262
01:35:19,081 --> 01:35:21,149
♪ She toiled and strived,
did sweat and slave ♪

1263
01:35:21,216 --> 01:35:23,385
♪ A-stretchin' her mind
and beginning to rave ♪

1264
01:35:23,451 --> 01:35:26,088
♪ But the price she paid
was worth the pain ♪

1265
01:35:26,154 --> 01:35:28,556
♪ For on a cold
and frosty morn ♪

1266
01:35:28,623 --> 01:35:29,792
♪ Oh, no ♪

1267
01:35:29,858 --> 01:35:32,060
♪ The safety pin was born ♪

1268
01:35:32,127 --> 01:35:34,496
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

1269
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:36,765
♪ Hallelu-lu-lu-lujah ♪

1270
01:35:36,832 --> 01:35:38,901
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

1271
01:35:38,967 --> 01:35:41,036
♪ Hallelu-lu-lu-lujah ♪

1272
01:35:41,103 --> 01:35:43,839
♪ Shout hallelujah
and a big amen ♪

1273
01:35:43,906 --> 01:35:45,908
♪ For the lady
with the safety pin ♪

1274
01:35:45,974 --> 01:35:47,910
♪ Gee, Willy, rock-slop skippy ♪

1275
01:35:47,976 --> 01:35:49,577
♪ What more do ya want ♪

1276
01:35:49,644 --> 01:35:50,712
♪ Than madame crematante's ♪

1277
01:35:50,779 --> 01:35:52,414
♪ Lujah, hallelujah ♪

1278
01:35:52,480 --> 01:35:54,716
♪ Hallelujah ♪

1279
01:35:54,783 --> 01:36:00,322
♪ Hallelujah, hola-hola-hola ♪

1280
01:36:00,388 --> 01:36:02,925
♪ Scream and shout, who cares
what it's all about ♪

1281
01:36:02,991 --> 01:36:04,993
♪ Just as long as you're
stompin' and jivin' ♪

1282
01:36:05,060 --> 01:36:07,329
♪ And gassin' and gabbin'
and jammin' and jumpin' ♪

1283
01:36:07,395 --> 01:36:10,032
♪ When you talk about
the safety pin ♪

1284
01:36:10,098 --> 01:36:12,100
♪ Who's got the safety pin ♪

1285
01:36:12,167 --> 01:36:13,902
♪ Slip me the safety pin ♪

1286
01:36:13,969 --> 01:36:15,570
♪ No doubt about it ♪

1287
01:36:15,637 --> 01:36:17,005
♪ No baby can do without ♪

1288
01:36:17,072 --> 01:36:18,473
♪ The safety pin ♪

1289
01:36:18,540 --> 01:36:19,607
♪ The safety pin ♪

1290
01:36:19,674 --> 01:36:20,876
♪ Who's got the safety pin ♪

1291
01:36:20,943 --> 01:36:22,744
♪ Slip me a safety pin ♪

1292
01:36:22,811 --> 01:36:24,212
♪ Madame crematante ♪

1293
01:36:24,279 --> 01:36:25,948
♪ She's the lady
who was heaven-sent ♪

1294
01:36:26,014 --> 01:36:28,283
♪ She's the lady
with the big invent ♪

1295
01:36:28,350 --> 01:36:34,289
♪ Hola ♪

1296
01:36:37,292 --> 01:36:39,027
-♪ Safety pin ♪
-♪ madame crematante ♪

1297
01:36:39,094 --> 01:36:40,863
♪ She's the lady
with the big invent ♪

1298
01:36:40,929 --> 01:36:43,265
♪ Madame crematante she's
the lady with the big invent ♪

1299
01:36:43,331 --> 01:36:45,633
♪ Madame crematante she's
the lady with the big invent ♪

1300
01:36:45,700 --> 01:36:48,770
♪ Madame crematante she's
the lady with the big invent ♪

1301
01:36:48,837 --> 01:36:53,741
♪ Hola ♪

1302
01:36:53,808 --> 01:36:56,811
♪ Hola-hola-hola ♪

1303
01:36:56,879 --> 01:36:59,381
♪ Ia ♪

1304
01:37:40,155 --> 01:37:41,924
Oh, heh, how are ya?

1305
01:37:41,990 --> 01:37:47,729
Oh, uh...

1306
01:37:47,795 --> 01:37:49,697
Say, you're, uh, uh...

1307
01:37:49,764 --> 01:37:51,433
Uh, Fred Astaire.
Hello!

1308
01:37:51,499 --> 01:37:52,534
Why, hello.

1309
01:37:52,600 --> 01:37:54,036
Uh, I'm sorry.

1310
01:37:54,102 --> 01:37:56,171
I can't quite place you.

1311
01:37:56,238 --> 01:37:59,674
What line of business
are you in?

1312
01:37:59,741 --> 01:38:01,977
Well, uh, I dance.

1313
01:38:02,044 --> 01:38:03,745
Oh, at home, for the folks?

1314
01:38:03,811 --> 01:38:04,746
Picnics and that kind of thing?

1315
01:38:04,812 --> 01:38:06,915
Oh, no, no. In public.

1316
01:38:06,982 --> 01:38:08,416
On street corners?

1317
01:38:08,483 --> 01:38:09,651
Oh, no, on the screen.

1318
01:38:09,717 --> 01:38:11,186
Motion pictures.

1319
01:38:11,253 --> 01:38:14,256
You do go to pictures that have
dancing in them, don't you?

1320
01:38:14,322 --> 01:38:16,191
Why, I try to see
them all, I go...

1321
01:38:16,258 --> 01:38:19,361
Well, did you see a picture
called cover girl?

1322
01:38:19,427 --> 01:38:20,996
Yes.

1323
01:38:21,063 --> 01:38:25,067
Well, who did
all the dancing in that?

1324
01:38:25,133 --> 01:38:28,870
You're not Rita Hayworth?!

1325
01:38:28,937 --> 01:38:30,038
Ah, ha ha.

1326
01:38:30,105 --> 01:38:31,739
No, I'm not...

1327
01:38:31,806 --> 01:38:33,608
Ginger.

1328
01:38:33,675 --> 01:38:36,011
Ahh...

1329
01:38:36,078 --> 01:38:37,712
- Well, so long, Gene.
- See you around.

1330
01:38:37,779 --> 01:38:39,281
(Overlapping) I got a little
number to do here.

1331
01:38:39,347 --> 01:38:40,715
- You have?
- Well, sure.

1332
01:38:40,782 --> 01:38:41,950
- Here?
- Sure.

1333
01:38:42,017 --> 01:38:43,885
Well, say, why don't
we just, uh...

1334
01:38:43,952 --> 01:38:45,453
Ad lib a little
something together then?

1335
01:38:45,520 --> 01:38:47,089
Uh, whip it up right here
on the spot.

1336
01:38:47,155 --> 01:38:48,390
- Throw it away.
- Like the one

1337
01:38:48,456 --> 01:38:50,625
we've been rehearsing
for two weeks.

1338
01:38:50,692 --> 01:38:52,227
Ahh...

1339
01:38:52,294 --> 01:38:55,430
♪ A babbit met a bromide
on the Avenue one day ♪

1340
01:38:55,497 --> 01:39:01,003
♪ And held a conversation
in their own peculiar way ♪

1341
01:39:01,069 --> 01:39:02,870
♪ They both were
solid citizens ♪

1342
01:39:02,937 --> 01:39:04,539
♪ They both
had been around ♪

1343
01:39:04,606 --> 01:39:06,274
♪ And as they spoke,
you clearly saw ♪

1344
01:39:06,341 --> 01:39:10,178
♪ Their feet
were on the ground ♪

1345
01:39:10,245 --> 01:39:11,779
- Hello!
- How are you?

1346
01:39:11,846 --> 01:39:13,348
- How's the folks?
- What's new?

1347
01:39:13,415 --> 01:39:15,517
- I'm great.
- That's good.

1348
01:39:15,583 --> 01:39:16,985
- Ha ha!
- Knock wood.

1349
01:39:17,052 --> 01:39:18,853
- Well, well.
- That's life.

1350
01:39:18,920 --> 01:39:20,722
- Whaddaya know?
- How's the wife?

1351
01:39:20,788 --> 01:39:22,524
- Gotta run.
- Oh, my.

1352
01:39:22,590 --> 01:39:23,691
- Ta-ta.
- Olive oil.

1353
01:39:23,758 --> 01:39:26,328
Good-bye.

1354
01:39:56,758 --> 01:40:00,128
♪ Ten years went quickly by for
both these substi-antial men ♪

1355
01:40:00,195 --> 01:40:04,899
♪ And then it happened that one
day they chanced to meet again ♪

1356
01:40:04,966 --> 01:40:09,337
♪ That they had both developed
in 10 years there was no doubt ♪

1357
01:40:09,404 --> 01:40:15,543
♪ And so of course they had
an awful lot to talk about ♪

1358
01:40:16,911 --> 01:40:18,446
- Hello!
- How are you?

1359
01:40:18,513 --> 01:40:20,282
- How's the folks?
- What's new?

1360
01:40:20,348 --> 01:40:22,284
- I'm great.
- That's good.

1361
01:40:22,350 --> 01:40:23,918
- Ha ha!
- Knock wood.

1362
01:40:23,985 --> 01:40:25,820
- Well, well.
- That's life.

1363
01:40:25,887 --> 01:40:27,822
- Whaddaya know?
- How's the wife?

1364
01:40:27,889 --> 01:40:29,591
- Gotta run.
- Oh, my.

1365
01:40:29,657 --> 01:40:30,725
- Ta-ta.
- Olive oil.

1366
01:40:30,792 --> 01:40:33,361
Good-bye.

1367
01:41:35,557 --> 01:41:38,693
♪ Before they met again some
40 years they had to wait ♪

1368
01:41:38,760 --> 01:41:44,466
♪ This time it happened up above
inside Saint Peter's gate ♪

1369
01:41:44,532 --> 01:41:48,136
♪ A harp each one was carrying,
and both were sprouting wings ♪

1370
01:41:48,203 --> 01:41:49,537
♪ And this is what they said ♪

1371
01:41:49,604 --> 01:41:55,610
♪ As they were strumming
on the strings ♪

1372
01:41:56,811 --> 01:41:58,112
- Hello!
- How are you?

1373
01:41:58,180 --> 01:41:59,347
- How's the folks?
- What's new?

1374
01:41:59,414 --> 01:42:01,383
- I'm great.
- That's good.

1375
01:42:01,449 --> 01:42:03,050
- Ha ha!
- Knock wood.

1376
01:42:03,117 --> 01:42:04,952
- Well, well.
- That's life.

1377
01:42:05,019 --> 01:42:06,954
- Whaddaya know?
- How's the wife?

1378
01:42:07,021 --> 01:42:08,690
- Gotta fly.
- Oh, my.

1379
01:42:08,756 --> 01:42:09,857
- Ta-ta.
- Olive oil.

1380
01:42:09,924 --> 01:42:12,494
Good-bye.

1381
01:44:30,965 --> 01:44:35,737
♪ The gleam of a blue-white
moonlight ♪

1382
01:44:35,803 --> 01:44:40,775
♪ Makes diamonds
of the stars in the sky ♪

1383
01:44:40,842 --> 01:44:45,647
♪ The gold of an Autumn sunset ♪

1384
01:44:45,713 --> 01:44:51,453
♪ Colors a cloud passing by ♪

1385
01:44:51,519 --> 01:44:56,458
♪ The night says good-bye
to the morning ♪

1386
01:44:56,524 --> 01:45:00,962
♪ And a heart says hello

1387
01:45:01,028 --> 01:45:05,667
to a heart ♪

1388
01:45:05,733 --> 01:45:11,873
♪ All of these wonderful
things shall endure ♪

1389
01:45:12,707 --> 01:45:17,512
♪ They're works of Art ♪

1390
01:45:17,579 --> 01:45:23,785
♪ There's beauty everywhere ♪

1391
01:45:25,119 --> 01:45:30,625
♪ That everyone can share ♪

1392
01:45:30,692 --> 01:45:36,831
♪ A lovely world
can be unfurled ♪

1393
01:45:38,500 --> 01:45:44,305
♪ To those who see and care ♪

1394
01:45:44,372 --> 01:45:50,512
♪ We search for beauty gay ♪

1395
01:45:51,946 --> 01:45:57,585
♪ Through every livelong day ♪

1396
01:45:57,652 --> 01:46:03,791
♪ And then someone comes
into view ♪

1397
01:46:05,059 --> 01:46:11,132
♪ And suddenly you find
it's true ♪

1398
01:46:12,434 --> 01:46:18,372
♪ That love is beauty, too ♪

1399
01:46:19,974 --> 01:46:26,113
♪ And then someone
comes into view ♪

1400
01:46:27,549 --> 01:46:32,987
♪ And suddenly
you find it's true ♪

1401
01:46:33,955 --> 01:46:38,460
♪ That love is

1402
01:46:38,526 --> 01:46:44,666
beauty, too ♪

1403
01:48:50,658 --> 01:48:56,798
♪ And then someone
comes into view ♪

1404
01:48:58,065 --> 01:49:04,071
♪ And suddenly you find
it's true ♪

1405
01:49:05,272 --> 01:49:08,475
♪ That love is

1406
01:49:08,542 --> 01:49:14,682
beauty, too ♪