是 首相
第一季 第二集
翻|校|監 草草
時間軸 想念Gallifrey的Wholock
后期 8T
政府講話
漢弗萊爵士在等著見您 首相 Sir Humphrey is waiting to see you, Prime Minister.
謝謝 伯納德 Thank you, Bernard.
帶他進來 Show him in.
是 首相 Yes, Prime Minister.
早上好 首相 Good morning, Prime Minister.
漢弗萊 早上好 Humphrey, good morning.
時差倒得如何了 How's the jet lag?
我沒時差感 抱歉 I'm not jet-lagged. Sorry.
不 我覺得時差 No, I find that jet lag
還是去的時候影響比較大 affects me more going the other way.
我在白宮的重要會談上特別累 I felt frightfully tired at my big meeting at the White House.
我幾乎都記不得他說了什么了 I can scarcely remember a thing he said.
他其實也沒說什么 首相 He didn't really say much, Prime Minister.
是啊 他也特別累 No, he was frightfully tired too.
真讓人擔憂啊 Bit worrying, isn't it?
我這樣的政治家們 坐飛機滿世界跑 Statesmen such as myself jetting all over the world,
參加可能影響 attending major conferences
人類未來的重大會議 which could affect future of mankind
卻都感到精疲力盡 and we're zonked?
按說會的 首相 Well, it would be, Prime Minister.
或許正是因此 此類談判 Perhaps that's why such negotiations
基本上總是提前由 are nearly always completed
我這樣的卑微公仆完成的 in advance by humble servants such as I.
總不能交給精疲力盡的人吧 They can hardly be left in the hands of the zonked.
您找我什么事 Now, what did you want to see me about?
首相 Prime Minister?
首相 Prime Minister!
是 伯納德 Yes, Bernard.
漢弗萊 早上好 Humphrey, good morning!
您找我來著 You wanted to see me.
是嗎 Did I?
你不知道是什么事嗎 Don't you know what it was about?
不 他告訴我之前就睡著了 No. He fell asleep before he told me.
那如果他再找我 我再來吧 Then, I'll be back if I'm needed.
伯納德 你有空時來找我談談 Bernard, I'd like a word when you're free.
伯納德 Bernard.
提醒我找漢弗萊 Remind me to see Humphrey...
說件事 ...about something.
現在我回來了 這周的安排應該很滿吧 I suppose now I'm back, I've got a busy week ahead?
一大堆積壓工作 Huge backlog of work?
并沒有 首相 Not really, Prime Minister.
沒有積壓工作嗎 No backlog?
完全沒有 首相 Nothing at all, Prime Minister.
其實 您作為首相 You see, you have much less to do,
工作反而少多了 now that you're Prime Minister.
您不再需要打理自己的部門了 You no longer have a department of your own.
伯納德 你開玩笑吧 Bernard, you can't be serious.
是啊 您總在報紙上看到說 Yes. Everything you've always read in the paper
首相是多么日理萬機 about how hard a Prime Minister has to work
其實只是個傳說 is a bit of a myth really.
是新聞辦公室當作理所當然宣傳出去的 It's put out by the Press Office as a matter of course.
但其實您想想 您究竟需要做什么呢 But, if you think about it, what do you have to do?
主持內閣會議 Chair the Cabinet.
每周也就兩個半小時 Two and a half hours a week.
主持幾場內閣委員會會議 Chair a couple of Cabinet committees.
四小時 Four hours.
每周兩次在下院回答問題 Answer questions in the House twice a week.
再加半小時 Another half an hour.
周二晚覲見女王 Audience with the Queen on Tuesdays evenings.
又一小時 Another hour, you see.
到目前是每周七個半小時 Seven and a half hours a week so far.
別開玩笑了 伯納德 Don't be ridiculous, Bernard,
肯定不止吧 there must be more to it than that.
當然了 您還得讀各種匯報文件 Well, of course, you'll have to read all the briefs
我們還要趕著送您去這里那里跟人握手 and we rush you from place to place shaking hands with people.
但除此之外 But other than that, well,
有很多事是人們希望您做的 there's lots of things people want you to do
有很多事是您該做的 and lots of things you should do
有不少事是您可以做的 and any number of things you CAN do,
但沒多少事是您必須做的 but very few things you HAVE to do.
畢竟 這由您做主 After all, it's up to you.
您是老大 You're the boss.
謝謝 伯納德 Thank you, Bernard.
我會記住的 I'll bear that in mind.
現在 把新聞發言人叫來吧 Meantime, let's have the Press Secretary in
我們得談談我的首次首相電視講話 we've got to discuss my first TV broadcast as Prime Minister.
請馬上叫馬科姆·沃倫上來 Send Malcolm Warren up here straight away, please.
我的美國之行非常繁忙 I was certainly busy enough on my America trip.
我覺得我非常成功 I think I was a great success.
是嗎 Was it?
當然了 伯納德 Of course it was, Bernard.
你沒讀馬科姆的報告嗎 Haven't you read Malcolm's report?
我連續三晚登上了所有新聞公告 I was on all the news bulletins three nights running.
《全景》做了特別企劃 Special feature on "Panorama",
全國性報紙專欄報道總長達1269英寸 1,269 column inches in the nationals.
31張照片 16次電臺報道 31 photos, 16 radio reports.
我是說 就成就而言是個成功嗎 No, I mean, was it a success in terms of what it achieved?
我不才說了嗎 Well, I just told you.
我是說 No, I mean,
跟美國人達成的協議什么的呢 what about agreements with the Americans and so on?
您跟總統的閉門談話 You know, your private conversation with the President?
您沒告訴我結果 You didn't tell me the result.
那個啊 是啊 起先 That. Well, yes, to begin with,
我給他讀了我手里的報告 他給我讀了他的 I read him my brief and he read me his brief. And...
然后我們覺得 then we decided it would be quicker
直接交換報告 然后自己讀更快點 if we just swapped briefs and read them to ourselves.
所以我們大部分時間都在說法國人壞話 So, we spent most of the time rubbishing the French.
太棒了 Terrific.
很好 Good.
是 謝謝 Yes...? Oh, thanks.
馬科姆·沃倫這就上來 首相 Malcolm Warren is on his way up, Prime Minister.
伯納德 Bernard.
首相兼首席財政大臣怎么樣了 How's the Prime Minister and First Lord of the Treasury?
在安詳地睡覺 漢弗萊爵士 Sleeping peacefully, Sir Humphrey.
伯納德 我們有問題了 Bernard, we have a problem.
-誰 -你和我 伯納德 還有整個白廳 - Who has? - You and I, Bernard, and the whole of Whitehall.
問題就是首相災難性的新國防計劃 The problem is the Prime Minister's disastrous new defence ideas,
取消三叉戟 cancelling Trident,
恢復征兵制那套胡扯 reintroducing conscription and all that rubbish.
宏圖大計嗎 The Grand Design?
是啊 他好像是這么說的 Yes, I believe that's what he calls it.
但既然這能省錢 還能減緩失業 But, if it saves money, and reduces unemployment...
伯納德 我國國防政策的目的是什么 Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?
-英國國防嗎 -不 伯納德 - To defend Britain. - No, Bernard.
是為了讓人相信英國有國防 It is to make people BELIEVE Britain is defended.
-讓蘇聯人嗎 -不是蘇聯人 是英國人 - The Russians? - Not the Russians, the British!
蘇聯人知道我們沒國防 The Russians know it's not.
是為了我國所有單純無知的人民 It's for all our simple, ignorant people
那些進進出出民宅 公交車 工廠 shuffling in and out of houses, buses, factories
和內閣會議室的人 and the Cabinet room.
國防政策的目標是讓他們有安全感 The aim of the defence policy is to make them feel secure.
但如果還有更好的方式... But if there's a better way...
伯納德 我們有根魔杖 就叫三叉戟 Bernard, we have a magic wand, it is called Trident.
大家對它都一竅不通 Nobody understands anything about it,
只知道它價值150億 except that it will cost 15 billion pounds,
所以它肯定很棒 很有魔力 which means it must be wonderful, magical.
而我們只需要寫張支票 All we have to do is write a cheque
大家就都能放松了 and then we can all relax, but
但如果政府成員開始談論它 if people in government start talking about it,
你知道會怎樣嗎 you know what will happen?
-不 -最終 他們會開始思考它 - No. - In the end, they'll start THINKING about it.
他們會意識到各種問題 They will come to realise the problems,
推理的漏洞 the flaws in the reasoning.
國民將開始擔憂 焦躁 The nation will get worried, agitation,
質疑 批評 questions, criticism...
改變 change.
改變 Change?
改變 Change.
漢弗萊爵士 有件事 Sir Humphrey, there is one thing, though.
他的電視放送 This TV broadcast he's doing.
萬一他借此機會宣布他的新政呢 Suppose he uses it to announce his new policy?
不可能 他必須先在內閣和下院獲得通過 He can't. First it will have to to go through Cabinet and the House.
他還是可以說啊 Well, he can do that,
就說是為了讓國民展開討論 in terms of opening the national debate.
伯納德 政府私下做好決定前 Bernard, you do not open a national debate,
是不能允許國民展開討論的 until the government has privately made up its mind.
但如果首相決心已定... But if the Prime Minister's made up his mind...
那他就得改主意 Then he must unmake it.
但他可是首相 But he's the Prime Minister.
是啊 伯納德 Yes, indeed he is, Bernard.
他有自己的車 在倫敦有套好房 He has his own car, a nice house in London,
鄉下也有 各種曝光機會 place in the country, endless publicity
還有終身養老金 and a pension for life.
他還想要什么 What more does he want?
我覺得他想治理英國 I think he wants to govern Britain.
那就阻止他 伯納德 Well, stop him, Bernard.
問題是 是要做成采訪 還是對鏡講話 The question is, should it be an interview or to camera?
是 Yes.
不 首相 我想得二選一 No, Prime Minister, I think it has to be one or the other.
采訪怎么樣 Well, what about an interview?
伯納德 我們在探討電視采訪 Bernard, we're just discussing a TV interview.
好 Right.
羅賓·戴 布萊恩·沃登 Robin Day, Brian Walden,
泰瑞·沃根 吉米·楊 Terry Wogan, Jimmy Young?
你覺得哪個好 Which do you think?
看您想呈現什么形象了 Well, it depends how you want to appear.
思想家 權威者 The thinker, man of power,
人民之友 好是個老好人 people's friend, or just a good fellow?
我想全選 All of them really.
我想他們是不能同時采訪您的 I don't think they'll all interview you at the same time.
不是他們 是我 No, not all of them, all of me,
我想讓人覺得擁有所有那些品質 I want to be seen to have all those qualities.
那樣的話 我們還是選對鏡講話吧 Well, in that case, I think you should do it to camera.
好 Yes.
至少控場的是我 At least it'll be me in charge
而不是那些失敗議員或自大的DJ and not all those failed MPs and jumped-up disc jockeys.
那好 Fine.
講政黨政治嗎 A party political?
不 政黨政治一聽就無聊 Yeah, no, a party political spells instant boredom.
還是做政府講話吧 I think it should be a ministerial broadcast, you know,
首相向人民發表講話 the Prime Minister addressing his people,
但我對著鏡頭說 就像講政黨政治那樣 but I'll do it into the camera like a party political.
您不是說那個很無聊嗎 I thought you said they were boring.
我可沒說我會無聊 伯納德 I didn't say I'D be boring, Bernard.
你覺得我會無聊嗎 Do you think I'd be boring?
無聊 Boring?
您嗎 You?
您做過很多次對鏡講話嗎 Have you done much talking to camera?
不 基本都是采訪 No, no, it's mostly been interviews.
那樣的話 我最好安排一次練習 Well, in that case, I'd better set up a practice session.
好 Fine.
還有件事 講話內容將是什么 Just one thing, what is the broadcast to be about?
內容 About?
對 內容是什么 Yes, about. What will it be about?
是我啊 About me.
對 但您打算說什么 Yes, but what are you gonna say?
說什么 Say?
對 政策方面的事 Yes, about policies.
政策啊 對 Policies, yes.
就平時那一套吧 Well, I thought it'd be the usual thing, you know,
一起向前 明天更好 go forward together, better tomorrow,
勒緊腰帶 齊心協力 tighten your belt, all pull together,
治愈傷痛 之類的 heal the wounds, that sort of things.
是 但您具體會說什么呢 Yes, but what will you be saying specifically?
具體啊 Specifically.
我想提出 Well, I thought I'd suggest that
我們都具體地勒緊腰帶 we all specifically tighten our belts.
具體地治愈社會的具體傷痛 And specifically heal the specific wounds in society.
明白嗎 See what I mean?
是 當然了 這完全由您定奪 Yes, well, of course, it's entirely up to you, Prime Minister.
我就是想 或許您會想說點新鮮的... I just thought if you had anything new to say...?
新鮮的 New?
新鮮的 New!
是啊 當然 Yes, of course!
把漢弗萊叫回來 好嗎 Get Humphrey back here, will you?
我的宏圖大計 My Grand Design.
那就是我之前想跟漢弗萊說的事 That's what I wanted to talk to Humphrey about.
漢弗萊爵士 首相 Sir Humphrey, the Prime Minister
在安排他的電視放送事宜 is making arrangements for his TV broadcast.
他想談論他的宏圖大計 He wants to talk about his Grand Design
不知您... and wonders if you...
喂 Hello?
他應該就來了 I think he's on his way.
宏圖大計 首相 Grand Design, Prime Minister?
是的 我現在不能說 但肯定會很轟動 Yes, I can't tell you now, but it's a very big story.
好 首相 那我先去找位制作人 Right, Prime Minister, I'll find a producer
-安排一次練習 -好 - and set up a practice session in the meantime. - Fine.
漢弗萊 Humphrey.
你來得好快 That was quick.
聽說您想談電視露面的事 I gather you want to discuss a TV appearance?
對 但也沒那么緊急啦 Yes. But it's not so desperately urgent.
當然了 一點也不重要 No, absolutely not, not remotely important.
一點也不重要 Not remotely imprtant?
這可是我作為首相的首次電視放送 My first television broadcast as Prime Minister?
當然了 非常重要 Terribly important, of course,
但又不是危機 不是恐慌 but not a crisis, you know, not a panic.
我想借機來宣布我的新國防政策 I do want to use it to announce my new defence policy.
-你覺得怎么樣 -不行 - What do you think? - No!
-什么 -我覺得是個錯誤 - I beg you pardon? - I think it's a mistake.
政策嗎 The policy?
當然了 能對問題采取新思路 Well, of course, it's tremendously refreshing
十分讓人眼前一亮 to have a new mind on the problem.
挑戰舊想法 Challenging the old ideas,
質疑這30年來的政府執政的 questioning the whole basis of government thinking
基本思維 over the past 30 years.
你不贊成這政策嗎 You don't approve of the policy?
不是那樣 首相 It's not that, Prime Minister.
這項政策會產生影響 反彈 后果 There'll be implications, reverberations, repercussions.
需要時間審視考量證據 It needs time to sift and weigh the evidence,
反復審核 深入研究 參考意見 review, research, consult.
好吧 Well, all right.
那你去做吧 漢弗萊 You get on with that, Humphrey,
現在 我先在放送里宣布一下 and meantime, I'll announce it in the broadcast.
您不能 You can't.
現在還不行 Not yet.
我們還得告訴美國人 Well, we have to tell the Americans.
他們肯定非常反對 They will have grave objections.
那會需要數月的耐心外交 It will take many months of patient diplomacy.
微妙問題需要敏感處理 Delicate issues need sensitive handling.
漢弗萊 是誰能定奪 Humphrey, who is it who has the last word
英國該如何治理 about the government of Britain?
是英國內閣 還是美國總統 The British Cabinet or the American President?
其實 這問題真有趣 Do you know, that's a fascinating question!
我們經常探討 We often discuss it.
你們得出了什么結論呢 And what conclusion have you arrived at?
我得承認 我是個異類 Well, I must admit to being a bit of a heretic.
我認為是英國內閣 但... I think it's the British Cabinet, but...
我知道我是少數派 I know I'm in the minority.
你可能覺得新奇 漢弗萊 It might be news for you, Humphrey,
但你現在是多數派了 from now on, you're in the majority.
我將把我的宏圖大計 I shall raise my Grand Design formally,
正式向海外政策國防委員會提出 with the Overseas Policy Defence Committee,
然后就呈給內閣 then I shall put it to Cabinet.
我已私下聽取過大部分人的意見了 I've sounded most of them out privately.
他們都覺得能贏得選票...是... They all think it's a vote-winner... I mean...
能大大改善本國的國防 A major contribution to the defence of this country.
然后我下午就告知下院 Then I shall put it to the House, in the afternoon,
晚上就在放送里宣布 then announce it in the evening, in my broadcast.
抱歉 首相 您還不能宣布 I'm sorry, Prime Minister, you can't announce it yet.
如果我不能 那誰能 Well, if I can't, who can?
我們把話說清楚吧 So let us be abundantly clear about this.
我們不能繼續寅吃卯糧了 We cannot go on paying ourselves more than we earn.
世界沒有義務養活我們 The rest of the world does not owe us a living.
我們必須準備做出犧牲... We must be prepared to make sacrifices and...
這破玩意誰寫的 Who wrote this rubbish?
您寫的 首相 You did, Prime Minister.
這是您的一篇舊講稿 It's one of your old speeches.
我們不能找點新東西來嗎 Well, can't we have something new?
比如這次講話的草稿 What about a draft of the actual broadcast?
現在還只是草稿啊 Well, it's still only a draft, isn't it?
這也只是練習啊 Well, this is only a practice.
但那仍是絕密 Well, it's still highly confidential.
這里的人都通過了審查 去拿來吧 伯納德 Everyone here's been cleared. Go on, Bernard.
是 首相 Yes, Prime Minister.
怎么樣 戈弗雷 How was that, Godfrey?
棒極了 首相 Excellent, Prime Minister.
就一件事 Just one thing.
您打算戴那副眼鏡嗎 Will you be wearing those glasses?
你怎么想 Well, what do you think?
當然了 這由您定奪 Well, it's up to you, obviously.
戴著的話 您看上去權威 威嚴 With them on, you look authoritative and commanding.
不戴的話 您看上去坦誠 開放 With them off, you look honest and open.
您想要哪樣 Which do you want?
其實 我想看上去又權威又坦誠 Well, really, I want to look authoritative AND honest.
只能二選一 It's one or the other really.
要不起初先不戴 What about starting with them off
然后開始講話時再戴上 and then putting them on when I talk?
那只會顯得猶豫不決 That just looks indecisive.
這樣啊 I see.
要不戴單片眼鏡呢 What about a monocle?
還是先不戴吧 好嗎 Let's just leave them off for the moment, shall we?
我們再來一次吧 Can we go again?
嗯 你拿來新講稿了嗎 伯納德 Yeah. Have you got that new script there, Bernard?
是 首相 Yes, Prime Minister.
三叉戟項目耗資巨大 The Trident programme is too expensive.
取消后 能省下上百億鎊 By cancelling it, we shall release billions of pounds
用來以創新而激進的方式 to fund an imaginative and radical attack
解決國家問題 on the nation's problems.
我們國家需要的 What this country needs,
-是... -可以暫停下嗎 - is a two... - Can we hold it?
怎么了 What was wrong?
不 很好的 首相 No, it was very good, Prime Minister.
首相 Prime Minister...
稍等下 伯納德 怎么了 Just a minute, Bernard. Yes?
您能不能別這么前傾 Do you mind not leaning forward like that?
看上去像是賣保險的 It makes you look as though you're selling insurance.
想催著顧客簽字 Trying to urge the customers to sign.
而且這樣您是往上看鏡頭的 And also it makes you look up at the lens
像是在求人 like a sort of suppliant.
您應該是種俯視的姿態 You should really be looking down from on high.
有道理 Yes, I think.
我們國家需要的... What this country needs...
首相 馬科姆和我起草了一份 Prime Minister, Malcolm and I have drafted
稍有修改的講稿版本 a slightly different version to this speech.
好 我看看 All right, let's see.
"當然 我們將審視政府開支方面的 "We shall of course be reviewing a wide range of options
一系列各種選擇" over the whole field of government expenditure."
伯納德 這什么都沒說 Bernard, this doesn't say anything.
謝謝 首相 Thank you, Prime Minister.
完全缺乏沖擊力 Completely lacking impact.
您太客氣了 You're too kind.
不 伯納德 我不喜歡 No, no, Bernard, I don't like it.
好吧 您可以說"立即審視" All right. You could say "urgently reviewing".
不行 No.
我真覺得應該稍緩和下語氣 Well, I do think it should be toned down a bit.
怎么緩和 你有什么想法 馬科姆 How? Any thoughts, Malcolm?
要不然 Well, what about
"三叉戟會加重你的賦稅 "the Trident programme is a heavy burden on your tax bill.
150億可是一大筆錢 15 billion pounds are a lot of money.
我們應該詳盡審視它 And we should be looking at it very carefully
看這筆錢花得是否值得" to see if it merits the amount it costs."
對 Yes.
對 好 Yes. All right.
可以提數字吧 戈弗雷 It's OK to mention figures, isn't it, Godfrey?
可以 反正也沒人會聽進去 Yes. I mean, practically no one takes them in
聽進去的也不信 and those who do don't believe them,
但這會讓人們覺得 but it makes people think
您對事實非常了解 you've got the facts at your fingertips.
別忘了 大家不知道 And don't forget, people don't know
您在讀提詞器 you're reading them off the teleprompter.
除此之外 都還可以吧 Apart from that, it was fine, wasn't it?
是 您之前講得有點慢 Yes, you were going a bit slowly.
是提詞器出得慢 Well, the teleprompter thing was going a bit slowly.
不不 它會跟隨您的節奏 No, no, no. It follows your speed.
試試先慢點再快起來 好嗎 Try going slow and then fast. Okay?
-這樣啊 -開始 - I see. - And cue.
三叉戟...項目...會...加重... The... Trident... programme... is... a... heavy...
你的賦稅150億可是一大...筆...錢 burden on your tax bill. 15 billion pounds is a lot of money.
我明白你的意思了 And... I see what you mean, yes.
首相 您能不能別說"你的賦稅" Prime Minister, would you mind not saying "YOUR tax bill"?
怎么了 Why not?
聽上去好像 Well, it makes you sound as though
您不是人民的一分子 you're not one of the people, you know,
就像是統治者在對被統治者說話 it's like the ruler talking to the ruled,
他們和我們 them and us.
那我該怎么說 I see, what should I say?
"我們的賦稅"嗎 "OUR tax bill"?
您不也交稅嗎 I mean, you pay taxes, too.
是啊 改一下 好嗎 伯納德 Yes. Change that, would you, Bernard.
好 首相 我還是覺得這太直接了 Yes, Prime Minister. I still think it's very direct.
很好 謝謝 伯納德 Good. Thank you, Bernard.
不 英國很多人的工作都系于 No, I mean, lots of people's jobs in this country
三叉戟項目 depend on Trident.
沒做過咨詢探討就... Until there's been a consultation...
是啊 這倒是 Yes, that's a thought.
馬科姆 你說呢 Malcolm?
我們可以說 Well, we could say,
"在國防開支方面 "Defence expenditure is one of those areas
政府也將仔細審視 which this government will be looking at closely
看是否能在保持國防水準的同時 to see if we can achieve the same level of defence
降低成本" at a lower cost."
太長了 能切成兩句嗎 That's too long, can you make it two sentences?
為什么 Why?
首相 Well, Prime Minister,
就是我們發現 如果一句話超過三行 just that we find that if a sentence goes on over three lines,
說完的時候 then by the time it gets to the end,
大部分人就已經忘記了開頭 most people will have forgotten how it began.
包括說話的人 Including the person speaking it.
兩句 馬科姆 Two sentences, Malcolm.
而且您又開始有些往前傾了 And you are beginning to lean forward again a bit.
我想顯得真誠時就會這么做 That's what I do when I want to look sincere.
是 但問題是 Yeah. But the trouble is,
這讓您看上去像是想顯得真誠的人 it makes you look like someone who wants to look sincere.
如果您往后靠 看上去更放松 自若 If you lean back, you look relaxed and in control.
就這樣 That's it.
別靠得那么后 Don't lean back quite as far as that.
那樣看上去像是您午餐只喝酒了 It looks as though you've had a liquid lunch.
這樣啊 I see.
您可以給講稿里 You can always underline
您想看上去顯得真誠的部分加下劃線 bits of the script where you want to look sincere,
到那里時 就皺眉 放慢語速 then you just frown and say them a bit more slowly.
還有嗎 Anything else?
您的臉有點木 Well, your face is a bit wooden.
木嗎 Wooden?
就是您說話的時候 Yeah, only when you're speaking.
在正常的講話中 You see, in normal speech,
人會晃頭 挑眉 you move your head and eyebrows
臉頰會有起伏 等等 and cheek muscles and so on. So...
別因為提詞器變成了僵尸 好嗎 Don't let the teleprompter turn you into a zombie. OK?
開始 And cue!
在國防開支方面 Defence expenditure is one of the areas...
本政府也將仔細審視 which this government will be examining closely.
或許 我們能保持... It may be that we can achieve the same...
等等 A moment.
首相 那可能稍有點過了 Prime Minister, that's just a little bit too much.
你肯定聽過很多反對黨的無稽之談 You'll have heard a lot of nonsense from the Opposition.
他們說我們浪費錢 They say we waste money.
他們說 我們在向美國獻媚 They say we're selling out to the United States.
我倒說 看看他們掌權時 I say look at the mess they made
搞出了怎樣的爛攤子 when they were in power,
看看他們給經濟造成了怎樣的損失 look at the damage they did to the economy...
暫停一下 Could we hold it there?
首相 容我建議 Prime Minister, if I might suggest,
別攻擊反對黨 don't attack the Opposition.
那可是黨派喜歡的部分 Those are the bits the party likes.
黨派無論如何也會投票給您 Now, the party will vote for you anyway.
而游離選民 You see, you'll make the floating voter
會因此認為您是個憤怒 搞分裂的人 see you as an angry and divisive figure.
這樣啊 那可不好 I see. Well, we don't want that.
那我該怎么說他們 What should I say about them?
干脆別提 Well, don't mention them at all.
您說的一切 You see, everything you say
都得讓您顯得溫暖 友好 has to make you sound warm and friendly.
當然要有權威感 但也親切 Authoritative, of course, but affectionate.
像個國父 The father of the nation.
我們可以快進到... Could we just run forward to that,
新的那段嗎 that new bit?
試試把聲調降低 Try lowering the pitch of your voice.
好嗎 All right?
我們... We want...
我們想為孩子們打造一個美好未來 We want to build a bright future for our children.
我們想打造一個和平繁榮的英國 We want to build a peaceful and prosperous Britain,
讓英國能在其他國家面前 a Britain that can hold her head high
驕傲地昂起頭 in the fellowship of nations.
這還挺不錯 是誰寫的 This is rather good. Who wrote this?
其實 這是反對黨黨魁最后一篇 Actually, it's from the last party political
政黨政治講話里的 by the leader of the Opposition.
我們可以談談您的形象嗎 Can we just talk about your appearance a moment,
您打算穿什么 what will you be wearing?
你有什么建議 What do you suggest?
深色西裝代表了傳統價值觀 Well, a dark suit represents traditional values.
好 深色西裝 Fine, dark suit.
但話說回來 淡色西裝看上去很務實 On the other hand, a light suit looks business-like.
那深色背心淡色外套如何 Well, what about a lightish jacket with a darkish waistcoat?
我覺得那會顯得您搞不清自己的身份 I think that would look as though you've got an identity problem.
不好意思 首相 Excuse me, Prime Minister.
戈弗雷 可以商量下化妝的事嗎 Godfrey, could we have a word about make-up?
花白發可以嗎 Are you happy about the grey hair?
-還是要染黑 -不用 沒事 - Or shall we darken it? - No, it's fine.
-還有后退的發際線呢 -后退的什么 - And the receding hairline? - Receding what?
高額頭 High forehead.
我們能不能讓... And can we try to make the...
把眼睛這里化化 do something about the eyes,
讓它們看上去不那么近 make them look less close-set?
好 Sure.
把眼袋化淡點 給蒼白的臉頰上點色 Lighten the bags underneath. Darken the pallid cheeks.
-鼻子還是個問題 -問題 - The nose is still a problem. - Problem?
不 就是打光問題 首相 No, just a lighting problem, Prime Minister.
有道很大的 陰影 A very large, um, shadow.
當然了 還有牙 The teeth, of course.
您可以笑一下嗎 首相 Could you smile, Prime Minister?
是啊 Yes...
首相 您愿意修修牙嗎 Prime Minister, how would you feel about a little dental work?
我們能不能繼續練了 Look, can we get on with this?
-好 再來一遍 -好 - OK, we're going again. - Right.
很好 首相開始 Super. And cue the Prime Minister.
我們當然將審視政府開支方面的 We shall of course, be reviewing a wide range of options
一系列各種選擇... over the whole field of government expenditure...
伯納德 這又回到最開始那版了 Bernard, this is exactly what we started with.
是啊 我真覺得這版最合適 Yes, I do think it's the most suitable,
最妥當 首相 the most appropriate, Prime Minister.
你覺得呢 戈弗雷 What do you think, Godfrey?
當然了 這由您定奪 首相 Well, it's up to you, obviously, Prime Minister.
我只想說 如果您打算說這個 All I can say is, if that's what you're going to say,
我建議穿現代感很強的西裝 高科技家具 I suggest a very modern suit, hi-tech furniture,
明晃晃的黃色墻紙 抽象畫 high-energy yellow wallpaper, abstract paintings.
事實上 用盡一切來掩飾 In fact, everything to disguise
講話本身完全匱乏新鮮內容 the absence of anything new in the actual speech.
我還是改回 I think I'll go back to my
我原本有活力的講話 關于宏圖大計的 original dynamic speech, you know, about the Grand Design.
好 那就是令人安心的傳統背景 Fine, then it's the reassuring traditional background,
深色西裝 橡木鑲板 dark suit, oak panelling,
皮面書 18世紀肖像畫 leather volumes, 18th-century portraits.
還有件事 開場音樂 One other thing - opening music.
還是兩種 巴赫 新提議 Now, once again, Bach - new ideas;
斯特拉溫斯基 毫無變化 Stravinsky - no change.
我覺得該要英國作曲家的曲子 I think I ought to have a British composer, you know,
能襯托我的形象的 something that would reflect my image.
Edward Elgar
埃爾加嗎 Elgar perhaps?
埃爾加 好 Elgar, yes, yes.
非常著名的英格蘭愛國歌曲 最早用在英王愛德華七世的加冕禮
《希望與光榮的土地》就算了 But not, not "Land of Hope and Glory".
埃爾加的著名作品 由主題和14段變奏曲組成 分別描繪了他的14位"朋友"
那《謎語變奏曲》呢 What about the "Enigma Variations"?
他要在放送上講些新鮮激進的內容 He's going to say something new and radical in the broadcast.
什么 那愚蠢的宏圖大計嗎 What, that silly Grand Design?
伯納德 那正是你要避免的 Bernard, that was precisely what you had to avoid!
怎么會這樣 我需要個很好的解釋 How did this come about? I shall need a very good explanation!
他非常想這么做 Well, he's very keen on it.
那有什么關系 What's that got to do with it?
首相非常想辦成的事 Things don't happen just because
也不會就那么實現啊 Prime Ministers are keen on them.
內維爾·張伯倫還非常想要和平呢 Neville Chamberlain was very keen on peace!
是啊 他覺得這能贏得選票 Yes, he thinks it's a vote-winner.
那可就嚴重多了 坐下 That's more serious. Sit down.
他為什么會那么認為 What makes him think that?
黨派做了一次民調 Well, the party did an opinion poll done,
看來選民們都很贊成 and it seems all the voters were in favour
恢復國民兵役制 of bringing back National Service.
那我們再做一次民調 We'll have another opinion poll done
表明選民們是反對恢復國民兵役制的 showing the voters're AGAINST bringing back National Service.
他們不能又支持又反對啊 They can't be for it AND against it.
當然能 伯納德 Of course they can, Bernard.
勘測
你接受過民調嗎 Have you ever been surveyed?
是的 我沒有 我家有 Yes. Well, not me, my house.
我明白您的意思了 I see what you mean.
伯納德 你清楚這種事 Well, Bernard, you know what happens,
一位親切的年輕姑娘來找你 a nice young lady comes up to you.
你當然想留個好印象 Obviously, you want to create a good impression,
你總不想丟臉 是吧 you don't want to look a fool, do you?
-不想 -是啊 于是她開始問你問題 - No. - No. So she starts asking you some questions.
伍利先生 Mr Woolley,
您是否擔心失業青年的數量 are you worried about the number of young people without jobs?
是的 Yes.
您是否擔心青少年犯罪率上升一事 Are you worried about the rising crime among teenagers?
是的 Yes.
您是否認為我國綜合學校 Do you think it's a lack of discipline
缺乏紀律性 in our Comprehensive Schools?
是的 Yes.
您是否認為年輕人會喜歡 Do you think young people welcome
生活中有一些權威和領導 some authority and leadership in their lives?
是的 Yes.
您是否認為他們會響應挑戰 Do you think they'll respond to a challenge?
是的 Yes.
您是否贊成恢復國民兵役制 Would you be in favour of reintroducing National Service?
我可能吧 Well, I suppose I might be.
是還是否 Yes or no?
是的 Yes.
你當然這么說 伯納德 Of course you would, Bernard.
在前面的問題之后 你不能對這一點說不了 After all you've told me, you can't say no to that.
于是 他們不提前五個問題 So, they don't mention the first five questions
而只發表最后一個 and they publish the last one.
他們真這么干嗎 Is that really what they do?
信譽好的那些不會 Well, not the reputable ones, no,
但信譽好的不多 but there aren't many of those.
所以 換個方式 So, alternatively,
年輕姑娘能得到相反的結論 the young lady can get the opposite result.
怎么做 How?
伍利先生 您是否擔心戰爭威脅 Mr Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?
是的 Yes.
您是否擔心軍備擴張 Are you worried about the growth of arms?
是的 Yes.
您是否認讓年輕人拿槍 并教他們殺人 Do you think there's a danger in giving young people guns
是危險的 and teaching them how to kill?
是的 Yes.
您是否認為違背人們的意愿 Do you think it's wrong to force people
強迫他們拿起武器是錯的 to take up arms against their will?
是的 Yes.
您是否反對恢復國民兵役制 Would you oppose the reintroduction of National Service?
是的 Yes.
看吧 伯納德 There you are, you see, Bernard.
完美平衡的樣本 The perfect balanced sample.
我們只需自己去給國防部 So we just commission our own survey
做一次民調 去辦吧 伯納德 for the Ministry of Defence. See to it, Bernard.
是 但放送怎么辦 Yes. But what about the broadcast?
他什么時候去做 When's he expecting to do it?
我不知道 下個月吧 I don't know. Some time next month, I suppose.
那你就告訴他 定在了11天后 Well, perhaps you tell him it'll be in 11 days' time.
11天 那有點急了吧 他要是拒絕呢 11 days? That's a bit soon. Suppose he refuses?
那你就告訴他 Well, then you can tell him
我們剛從聯合廣播委員會那里得知 that we've just learnt from the Joint Broadcasting Committee
反對黨將于18天后發表一次 that the Opposition will be holding a party political
政黨政治講話 in 18 days' time
而他有權先發表政府講話 and he's entitled to can get his ministerial in first.
當然了 Of course,
如果他想把當首相后的首次政治放送 if he wishes the first political broadcast of his premiership
拱手讓給反對黨 那也行 to be given by the Opposition, that's fine.
這是真的嗎 Is that true?
會是真的 It will be...
如果你明天再告訴他的話 if you don't mention it till tomorrow.
但他還是有可能宣布他的新政 But he could still announce his new policy.
我可不這么認為 伯納德 I don't think so, Bernard.
這樣他只有一次機會 He'll have only one meeting
跟海外政策國防委員會的 with his Cabinet colleagues in the Overseas Policy
內閣同僚開會探討 and Defence Committee to clear it.
據我所知 他的內閣同僚都贊成此事 I understand all his Cabinet collegues are in favour of it.
是 但只是私下贊成 伯納德 Yes, but only personally, Bernard,
政治上贊成 and only politically,
但他們是正式贊成嗎 but are they in favour officially,
作為各部負責大臣贊成嗎 as responsible departmental Ministers?
這樣啊 I see.
那可就要看他們得到怎樣的建議了 是吧 I suppose that will depend on the advice they get, will it?
我當然理解 大衛 I understand, of course, David,
我們絕對不是反對 there's no question of our opposing
取消三叉戟的計劃 this scheme to cancel Trident.
-當然 -只不過是稍稍等一陣 - Of course. - Yes, it's a question of holding back a little
得先考慮清楚一切可能影響 until we've thought through all the implications.
告訴我 你打算怎樣向你的就業大臣匯報 So tell me, what are you going to brief
明天該如何在海外政策國防委員會上發言 your man at Employment to say in OPD tomorrow?
其他人都怎么說 Well, what are the others saying?
迪克會跟外交大臣說 I suppose, Dick will brief the Foreign Secretary
美國人會勃然大怒吧 to say the Americans will hit the roof?
不 Well, no,
他覺得更有說服力的說法 he thinks it might be more persuasive to argue
是取消三叉戟會顯得懦弱 that cancelling Trident will look like weakness,
是綏靖蘇聯人 appeasing the Soviets, you know.
嗯 好想法 Yes. Good thinking.
就像諾曼不會告訴他的國防大臣 Just as Norman won't be telling his man at Defence
說三軍首長 to say that the Service Chiefs
不希望自己的精英部隊被烏合之眾拉低水平 won't have their elite forces diluted with riff-raff.
但不就是如此嗎 But they won't?
我知道 No, I know that,
但他們覺得還需要別的說辭 but he felt they needed another argument.
兩個說辭嗎 Two? Two arguments?
那難道不是在難為 Isn't that putting rather a strain
國防大臣那有些... on the Defence Secretary's somewhat...
老舊的智力設備嗎 是啊 Obsolete intellectual equipment? Yes.
所以他打算跟他說 So, he's just going to brief him that
三叉戟是最好的 英國必須有最好的 Trident is best and Britain must have the best.
很好 就算是國防大臣 Good. Even the Defence Secretary
-應該也能記住這個 -是啊 - should be able to handle that. - Yes.
稍作指導 應該行的 With a bit of coaching, yes.
那吉爾斯呢 我知道 And Giles? I know!
全國教師工會非常害怕 The National Union of Teachers are scared stiff
征兵制會讓人發現 that conscription will expose the fact
中學畢業生 that school leavers,
盡管社交融合能力很強 while of course, be tremendously integrated socially
也很有創造意識 and creatively aware...
但卻不會讀寫和算數 是啊 Can't actually read, write or do sums, yes.
不 吉爾斯讓教育大臣擔憂 No, Giles has got the Education Secretary worried
大學更希望軍方 that the colleges prefer their education
來接管教育 to be taken over by the services and
好真正教書育人 actually used for teaching people.
-那怎么行 -是啊 - We can't have that. - No.
那你的就業大臣呢 So what about your man at Employment?
是一樣的問題 Well, it's the same problem.
事實上 工會肯定不樂意 You see, the truth is the Unions won't stand
小孩子跑來搶社區工作 for kids coming in and undercutting them on community work.
是啊 Yes.
我想暫時還不需要把真相說出來 I don't think we need to bring the truth in at this stage.
等等 Hold on.
假如他提出 Now, suppose he argues
失業青年 目前 that unemployed young people are, at the moment,
不健康 無組織 無紀律 無技能 unfit, unorganised, undisciplined and untrained, but
但征兵制最終會讓成群的受過殺人訓練的 that conscription will eventually release on to the streets
健壯年輕人走上街頭 an army of fit young people, all trained to kill.
好樣的 Good man!
告訴我 他真這么想嗎 Tell me, does he actually believe that?
他明早就會這么想了 He will by tomorrow morning.
漢弗萊 Humphrey.
-漢弗萊 -先生們 抱歉 - Humphrey. - Gentlemen. Sorry.
委員會順利嗎 首相 Good committee, Prime Minister?
不可思議 Extraordinary.
-不可思議 -怎么不可思議了 - Extraordinary. - How extraordinary?
上周這時候 Well this time last week,
我的內閣同僚都支持我的宏圖大計 all my Cabinet colleagues were all for my Grand Design.
那現在呢 And now?
現在外交大臣說 Well now the Foreign Secretary says
這是綏靖蘇聯人 it would appeasing the Soviets.
這我可沒想到 I hadn't thought of that.
國防大臣說 The Defence Secretary says
三叉戟是最好的 英國必須有最好的 that Trident is best and Britain must have the best.
真的嗎 太有趣了 Does he really? How fascinating!
教育大臣說 The Education Secretary says
征兵制會破壞教育系統 that conscription would undermine the educational system.
是有這個擔憂 That is a worry.
那就業大臣呢 And the Employment Secretary?
他說什么 Well, he goes on about
兩年內就會有上百萬 a million unemployed trained fighters
訓練有素的失業戰士走上街頭 being let loose on the streets in two years time.
-他說得不無道理 -我不懂 - Well, he has a point there. - I don't understand it.
上周 他們還都覺得 I mean, last week, they're all thought
我的新國防政策很棒呢 my new defence policy was a winner.
你能解釋嗎 漢弗萊 Can you explain it, Humphrey?
那我可就不知道了 首相 It's beyond me, Prime Minister.
怎么了 伯納德 Yes, Bernard?
抱歉打擾 首相 Sorry to interrupt, Prime Minister.
國防部說是急事 The MoD said it was urgent.
什么 What?
看來74%的人 It seems that 74% of the population
是反對征兵制的 are against conscription.
74...老天爺 74...? Good Lord!
反對 Against it?
黨派民調卻說63%的人是支持的 And the party poll said that 63% of the population was for it.
黨派數據有時很不可靠 首相 You see, party figures can be very unreliable, Prime Minister.
-看來是的 -我可以提個折衷辦法嗎 - Evidently. - May I suggest a compromise?
什么 What?
顯然 委員會都認為 Well, it's clear that the committee's agreed that
您的新政是絕妙的計劃 your new policy is really an excellent plan, but
但鑒于被提出的一些疑慮 in view of some of the doubts being expressed,
容我提議 記錄下來 經過慎重考慮 may I propose that I record that after careful consideration,
委員會經深思熟慮認為 the considered view of the committee was that
雖然他們覺得 while they considered
該提案在原則上是受到廣泛贊成的 the proposal met with broad approval in principle,
部分原則 that some of the principles
在原則上是十分基本的 were sufficiently fundamental in principle
而且部分考量在實踐中 and some of the considerations so complex
非常復雜 平衡微妙 and finely balanced in practice
因此原則上提議 that in principle it was proposed that
合理而謹慎的做法 the sensible and prudent practice would be
是提交該提案 進行更細致的考量 to submit the proposal for more detailed consideration,
并強調務必保證新提案 laying stressing on the essential continuity
和已有原則的連續性 of the new proposal with existing principles
而且主要觀點的原則 and the principle of the principal arguments
則由提議者提出 供人考量 以求贊同... which the proposer proposes and propounds for their approval...
原則上贊同 in principle.
什么 What?
別在周五的電視放送上 Don't refer to your Grand Design
提您的宏圖大計 in your television broadcast on Friday.
你不是叫我放棄吧 You're not suggesting I should abandon it?
老天爺 當然不是 Good heavens, no!
絕不是 這是無比絕妙的政策 Heaven forbid! It is a most excellent policy!
好吧 All right.
我們再考慮一下 Well, we'll look into it further
我就先不提它了 before I say anything about it.
首相 電視臺那邊要您定下 Prime Minister, the TV people want a decision
放送的背景布置 about the background scenery for the broadcast.
看來最好是時髦西裝 I suppose it had better be the very modern suit
高科技家具 with the hi-tech furniture
和明晃晃的黃色墻紙 and the high-energy yellow wallpaper.
-是啊 -還有抽象畫 - Yes. - And abstract paintings?
是啊 I suppose so.
斯特拉溫斯基 And Stravinsky?
-是 首相 -是 首相 - Yes, Prime Minister. - Yes, Prime Minister.