DIARY OF A FLEETING AFFAIR
Friday 28th of February
I've never done this before.
Never done what?
I'm talking about our meeting like this.
Lying to my wife... I'm not very good at that.
It was you who called me.
You gave me your phone number.
Well, we'd been kissing before you left the party.
You weren't obliged to call me.
I really wanted to.
Yeah... me too.
At first, I'd spotted 2 people I fancied.
After you left, I made-do with the other one.
I realised very quickly it wasn't going anywhere.
But with you, I'd felt I'd made the right choice.
As you told me right off about your life, children, wife...
...I let it go.
When I'm with some one like I never know what to say...
I panic and make small talk.
It was the emphasis on your children that made me back off.
When you came back to talk to me...
...I thought you might be open.
- Open? - "Open" in the English sense.
Well, I hadn't planned anything at all for that evening.
I hadn't kissed another woman for a long time.
We'll have a drink or two, but...
...I feel an irresistible urge to make love with you.
This is moving fast!
I really want to, too.
But I'd want us to be on the same wavelength.
I'm sure we are.
Something definitely clicks between us, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
No, it's not that... Just don't get too many ideas about me.
Ideas about you?
I've never had an affair up till now.
- Never? - No never.
It's been 20 years since you met your wife.
Have you never wanted to cheat on her?
Yes, I've wanted to several times... but...
Did guilt stop you?
No. I'm used to feeling guilty.
A little more or less makes no difference.
I'd be afraid of screwing up my life.
That a woman would cling too hard and want something more.
I ge that you aren't jealous.
I think it's great.
I've already known super possessive types.
I don't like it.
It turns me off sex.
I feel like an object. No.
I'm glad you're not jealous.
Friday 26th of April
You've got work until when?
Until my son comes home from school.
And if we want to play grown-ups? A hotel?
But I don’t know how it works, just walking in.
You've never taken a girl to a hotel?
Yes, my wife, but we were travelling abroad.
- It was booked ahead. - Come on!
No, not Paris I haven't.
What do you do?
You ask if there's a room available.
It'd be better not to go in together, right?
Do you want to take a room each? Would it be less suspicious?
I should establish a strategy for discretion.
A strategy? I go in, I take a room...
I go up, I get undressed, I play with myself and I call you.
Wait!
Maybe you could call me...
...before you get undressed.
What are you smiling about?
I'm happy to know I can orgasm, with someone other than my ex.
- Is that a compliment? - Mm.
I have to tell you something.
I haven't seen my ex in two years.
2 years?
Could I have a cup of tea?
Yeah.
It's my turn to confess.
I don't know why it comes back to me I never told anyone.
In fact...
I was a teenager, maybe pre-teen, I don't know anymore...
I was playing hide and seek with my cousin and her friends.
At my uncle's place... he had a big house.
I hid in the dovecote, behind some big old planks.
After a few moments, I felt a presence...
A girl was already hidden there.
I don't know why... I daren't say a thing, neither does she.
We hear the seeker approaching.
We snuggle up to each other,
We don't move, or even breathe...
...for fear of being discovered.
And the seeker passes very close to us...
...but never sees us.
So we wait for her to come again and discover us.
She never comes back.
And that time seems like an eternity.
I was hard up against her.
I had my nose stuck in her hair.
I don't know why... I daren't say a thing, neither does she.
And suddenly, we hear everyone yelling as if the game was over.
So we come out of our hiding place.
And then she turns to me, and says...
"One day, it wouldn't surprise me to see you accused of rape."
I remember her words like the smell of her hair.
She said it like she was casting a spell.
I assure you, I was consenting.
After that, believed that my desire was evident, in spite of myself...
That without me realising it, girls sensed it...
...and could feel threatened by it.
That I was some sort of menace.
For ages I was ashamed to feel attraction for a girl, in front of her.
I thought she was aware... and I didn't know how to contain it.
When did it stop?
When I met my wife. She felt nothing at all.
So... do you want to take...
...a shower with me?
No... I want to keep the scent of you.
It'd be best if we didn't leave together.
In case there are paparazzi's?
No, but you never know.
I'll go first, and you can leave and you can leave whenever you like.
- Thanks. - Stop saying thanks all the time.
I'm always afraid of being churlish.
Women have really traumatised you.
No, but everything's so easy with you... I'm unused to it... it surprises me.
- I'm going. - Yeah.
Wait!
What are you doing?
- I'm checking to see if there are any cameras. - What for?
To be sure that we're filmed. Look.
Monday 6th of May
Turn around.
Let me brush your back. A little in the buttocks!
What are you doing?
I'm washing you everywhere.
Your turn, turn around... Wait...
- But you have the Great Bear. - What?
Your beauty spots draw the Great Bear. Have you never been told?
- You're sure? - Sure as eggs. Incredible!
I'm annoyed no man ever told me.
They didn't know about stars.
Show me again.
You could be making it up.
You may be taking advantage of my naivety...
...and you're really a serial seducer.
Seems no one recognised them.
You think I look like to a serial seducer?
Yes.
Maybe the Cary Grant type?
I can't hear you anymore.
What are you doing?
- I'm thinking. - Thinking about what?
That I'm seeing you maybe for the last time...
...here at your house.
There's a last time for everything, right?
We only live for the last time. Things are constantly changing.
Even if we see each other next week, I won't be the same as now.
Many things will have changed.
I'll be older... my ideas may've changed.
Have you ever noticed how things are more beautiful and more intense...
...when we know we might never see them again?
Having the certainty of seeing something again is reassuring...
...but it seems that desire prefers what escapes it.
That’s is the problem of married life...
It's all very mechanical.
You want me simply because I don't belong to you.
Me or someone else... it'd be the same thing.
You could always be someone else...
I don't know if there are many others like you.
I've certainly never met anyone else like you.
Because you're lazy.
You don't make any effort.
The problem is that once your desire is fixed on someone...
...you don't change your target that easily.
It persists. It's stubborn.
It operates a kind of crystallization.
Oh yes, like in Stendhal.
Your desire for me is crystallizing?
No, I wasn't referring to myself at all.
I was just thinking in general about people.
No, with us it's...
It's definitely different.
How is it different?
Aren't we people?
We have experience.
We've already lived a little...
We know what we want. We're aware of things.
Isn't that different?
Friday 17th of May.
For the 1st time in history...
...a direct search is made to enter the world of sound...
...of Palaeolithic populations.
From an acoustic point of view...
...a study is being made of the sound qualities of prehistoric caves.
Did prehistoric man suffer from a broken heart?
When you say "prehistoric man", do you think man or woman...
...or man and woman?
I don't know... Romance has no gender.
Men suffer like women. The belly's built the same way.
They weren't restricted by the idea of romance.
Smell and the pheromones were enough. It must have been a wonderful time.
A time when body hair was a factor.
They were nomads.
It's only when the man became homo sapiens...
...that he started to get the women to wax their hair.
Is hair removal a form of human degeneration?
- Definitely... - If I do this to you...
It gives me goosebumps... look!
It's an epidermal reaction related to hair.
It comes up from the hair root.
Best I give you a classic massage.
Watch what you're doing!
The study is founded on DNA analysis...
...isolated from the fossils of small rodents...
...the common vole... "microtus arvalis".
You really have to concentrate to follow this program.
That bass voice of his is super erotic!
It was he who had the effect on you, not me.
Maybe you're right... or it's both of you.
Have you ever done it with 2 men?
No, but when I imagine it, I rather like the idea.
Prehistoric women may have done it with several men...
...and everyone thought it was normal, no?
Maybe we were still apes at that time.
Have you ever done it?
Involving multiple partners? No.
Have you ever wanted to?
Well... yes.
- But you've never done it? - No.
These days it's like you were in a threesome.
What do you mean?
You make love with me and go back to your wife.
You make love with your wife and and come back to me.
If you think about it, it's like we shared an apartment...
...and you changed between rooms.
- Oh, no. - I'm not dumb.
I'm pretty sure you make love with your wife.
But I'm not jealous.
That's the advantage of being the mistress...
You're somewhat more desirable than the wife.
And I have another advantage over her...
...in that I know she exists. She doesn't know I exist.
That enhances my influence.
There are ONLY advantages to being mistress.
Better to focus on the benefits than on the disadvantages.
I have absolutely no idea what your wife looks like.
Sometimes I'm walking in the subway or in a store.
I fix my attention on a woman and I think... "If it was her...?"
I've been tempted to ask you for a photo of your wife...
...but I think that maybe she should remain abstract.
You'll think this strange...
...but I don't feel like I'm cheating on my wife.
With her, I'm someone and with you, someone else.
It's as if I had two other separate versions of "me".
And with me, do you have a "me"...
...that's closer or more distant to your real "me".
With you, I have a "me" that surprises me.
I have a "me" that feels very good...
...a "me" that I didn't know about.
And it's thanks to you I've understood that I wasn't cheating on my wife...
...that these two relationships have nothing in common...
...and can't be compared.
You were afraid of being unfaithful...
I said that to make you feel better.
Yeah, but you had the right words.
It makes me believe...
...in my relationship with my wife as much as I believe in ours.
You're not just saying that to relieve a guilty conscience?
Maybe...
Just telling myself.
If so, isn't it better that I deal with my conscience?
I told you I wouldn't tell you anymore...
- ...but I want to tell you. - What?
I find you beautiful.
Tuesday 21st of May
I wanted to make you a chocolate mousse, but I'm out of it.
- Why chocolate mousse? - Don't know...
You inspire me to do it.
You know, I told someone about us.
- Who was that? - A colleague at the hospital.
I don't know what brought it up. We get along well.
He confides in me, too.
As he doesn't know my wife, it's easier to speak about it.
What did you tell him?
I told him how simple and easy-going our relationship was.
But he didn't believe it could continue like that.
Really? Why?
He said that liaisons like that, never really last long...
...and that expectations, feelings, evolve over time...
...and things can't help but get complicated.
He wouldn't just be a killjoy?
Or he must be very envious of how we live.
No, but I did tell him that we knew very well...
...that sooner or later it would come to a stop...
...that we were not building any castles in the air...
...and in the meantime we enjoy ourselves...
..without planning anything.
Was that the right thing to say?
I guess so.
Then he said to me...
"If it's that good...
...why don't you do everything to keep it going?"
- really? He said that? - Yeah.
What'd you say?
I said that I found our relationship beautiful...
...that it happened naturally, that we respected each other's lives...
...that it was a relationship of intelligence.
"A relationship of intelligence"? What does that mean?
It means we like each other a lot, that we get along well...
...that we can make love, that we can talk...
...but we're not bound by passion.
You've said yourself you hated passion.
Yes. It's not for me... I've already given.
Then he told me he didn't understand...
...and he asked me if we were in love.
I told him that we didn't ask ourselves that question...
...that it was not our plan...
...that we weren't interested...
...and that we were just good together.
To which he replied...?
He screwed up his face...
...and said I'd got myself tangles in a lovely mess.
Yeah... a little while ago you were tangled in my grandma's lovely sheets.
Those sheets would have some stories to tell.
It's crazy how people dramatize things...
...and have to find something bad about everything.
Your colleague reminds me to those who say, "All OK?"
You reply "I guess so."
And then they ask again...
"Are you sure?"
You think a moment and say "Pretty sure."
She asks once again "You're sure or you think so?"
You end up asking yourself a question...
"Am I sure?"
And as we always end up finding something wrong...
...you finish up saying "No, all's not OK."
- You OK? - Guess so!
- Sure? - Oh yes.
Monday 3rd of June
Calmly, calmly... That's it.
Stroke down your belly and back up again.
It's like a dance.
Feel the connection with your baby.
Your hands... There... Put your hands just below your belly.
And you breathe in and bring them up.
That's very good.
Hello.
Do you give private lessons?
Now I understand why I find you excited...
...with all those bellies pointed at you.
I told you, they don't excite me at all.
It's my job, and it's technical.
But you're very professional.
Put your hands on my belly...
...and show me how to breathe with my nose and my mouth.
I'm working right now...
I want a private lesson and if it's conclusive,
...I'll take a home lesson. Is there a free trial?
I don't have time... I have to finish the session report...
...and anyone might walk in at any time.
Don't you like seeing me?
Yes of course.
Would you be ashamed if someone saw you with me?
No, that has nothing to do with it.
It's just not the right place to meet.
While, at my place, yes.
Well... it's more convenient.
I really enjoyed seeing you where you were working.
I thought you might show me around and offer me a coffee, tea...
Or even a smile.
Well then... do you want a tea or a coffee?
Here... look...
Turkish pastries a mother left me. Help yourself.
- Have one. - No thanks.
You're very busy and I don't want to bother you.
Anyway, I have to go.
It was a bad idea to come and disturb you at your work.
You've a lot of much more important things to do.
It's best we each do our own thing. Isn't that how we want it?
But aren't we seeing each other tonight?
No sorry. It won't be possible.
Why?
I'm not free anymore. I forgot to tell you.
I've things to do, people to see, and that's that. Bye!
- No kiss? - No!
I shan't hold you up... You've urgent things to do.
I just popped in, while passing, to say hi. Bye!
Bye.
Thursday 20th of June
- You OK? - Yes. You?
Yes.
In fact, I've been sure you didn't want to see me anymore.
That's an obsession with you.
I've nothing new to tell you...
I don't know, I thought that...
...I'd done or said something that I shouldn't have.
Sorry, I've had so many things to do.
I sent you a message... I was waiting for an answer.
I didn't answer... because there was no urgency.
- I asked myself 10,000 questions. - Sorry.
Even if there was no emergency, I didn't know if I should expect anything.
We agreed on no expectations.
Yes, that's true. You're right.
But since I had no answer, I got rather worried.
That something may have happened to me?
Or that I didn't want to see you anymore?
Don't know.
I just felt stupid waiting for you to answer me.
I didn't answer you...
...because I didn't know what to say in reply.
At the same time, it would be perfectly normal...
...that you'd want to move on. But just tell me.
I've said sorry, over and over.
If there are other men, that's alright...
As well, it seems than for a single woman...
...it's not good to get attached to a married man. Did you know that?
Thanks for the advice, I'll think about it...
...but I'm touched about your concern for me.
You want to tell me that I should never have met you
Not at all.
But you're still kind of happy to see me?
Yes.
Sorry, I feel like I was making a scene.
If you call that a scene, it failed, I've seen better.
It comes down to me...
...to me not being used to this sort of relationship...
...and that I thought it would be simple.
I didn't answer you because I was afraid of screwing up your life.
I thought of your wife, your family.
I wouldn't want to be responsible for...
I no longer have the taste for what hurts...
...complications, married life, arguments...
...the sufferings of love... crying listening to sad music.
None of that interests me anymore. I've tried it, it's over...
I want to move on.
Wednesday 26th of June
Were you scared that I met someone?
That'll happen, sooner or later.
That's the way it is, but I don't know when.
The suspense!
I just hope it won't be too soon.
- What if I meet no one? - That's not possible.
So you're OK with just waiting to be replaced.
Listen, my wife and children are going away for a few days...
...so it might be good to get away for the weekend somewhere...
Just the two of us.
What do you think?
You know what?
We'll stop asking questions.
To complicate things by knowing where we are or where we aren't...
...whether it should or shouldn't be.
We'll enjoy of the time we have left.
We'll enjoy ourselves without thinking of the future.
Saturday
No, it's not there!
Look.
Come on.
I feel good... I feel like I'm a flower.
- And I'll be a bee. - I can see you coming.
I can forget everything here, and feel part of the cosmos.
I see how much I miss nature.
You mustn't let yourself do that.
Don't you ever think about how we are part of nature?
What did I say?
You refer to nature as if it were something foreign to us.
...as if she were outside of us, but we ourselves are nature.
You and I?
No! All human beings are part of nature.
It's therefore impossible to miss it.
You can say you miss fields and trees and streams...
...but not nature.
Nature to me is forests, trees, birds...
It's not the city.
Paris is artificial... it's a human production.
I don't agree or else I never understood what nature was.
If man is part of nature, everything that happens in him, is too.
So our thoughts and ideas are, and what we make with our ideas...
...cars, factories, mobile phones.
A bird's nest is nature, but buildings are not nature.
That doesn't make sense...
...since the ideas that inspired them are part of nature.
Charlotte...
Yes?
You've forgotten what you were going to say?
Sorry...
I almost got serious... Too serious.
We can be serious sometimes... it's not forbidden.
Yes, but what it was, was really too serious.
Well, that's not good at all. We've said nothing serious.
Did you notice how I didn't say anything?!
Very good. Bravo!
A month later
Friday the 19th of July
Is it like it's always been, or are you saying it's the first time?
I don't know... was there anything on the website.
I didn't notice.
Maybe I can try with my phone.
Look.
Hello.
Would you be Mr and Mrs Bianca?
That's right.
- Sorry for the delay. - No problem.
- We haven't waited long. - I'm Louise.
- I'm Bob. - I'm Kelly.
Something wrong?
Sorry... we'd decided not to give our real first names...  to meet a womanly man...
...before graduating to a complete woman.
I feared that you'd take it badly.
Do you think I'm taking it well?
- I was afraid you'd be angry. - No.
That's the way I am.
You knew it was going to end.
I knew... but I didn't expect it.
Don't worry... I really do understand.
We weren't engaged, luckily.
I...
I don't suppose we'll be making love again, together.
We can meet again one last time, if you like.
I don't know if I really want to.
I'll tell you... but I don't know.
Goodbye.
A month later
Oh... How are you?
Fine... I'm fine.
Did you come from Paris by taxi?
I don't have a licence.
My wife does the driving.
I wasn't going to ask her to come with me here.
- I brought you this. - Thanks. Shouldn't have.
The last time I arrived empty-handed, then...
Give me your jacket.
It's funny to come back here.
I imagine your ex-husband-to-be isn't here.
No, he's on the move. And this is my last day here.
- I'm moving tomorrow. - Where are you going?
Paris.
Charlotte said I could...
That I could stay with her for a bit, while I looked around.
And she's not here yet?
Yes, but we haven't stopped packing things.
- She went to make herself beautiful. - She's always beautiful.
- It's true, you're right. - Oh, hi.
Hi.
Simon brought champagne.
We were to have an aperitif at the restaurant.
Sorry. As you gave me an appointment here...
I didn't know. It doesn't matter.
You can drink the champagne some other time.
No, we'll open it. We'll have a drink and go after.
Actually, I'd rather eat here. It may be my last meal.
There's a lot of stuff in the fridge.
We can whip up something in no time.
What would you rather do?
If it's okay with you about the restaurant, it's fine with me.
I wouldn't want to be the first source of conflict.
No, okay, let's stay here.
- I love little bubbles. - It's very good.
You have to have the champagne with NM labels...
But you have to know about little bubbles. Don't want any?
I’ve been getting advice... I don't like bubbles.
I prefer wine like Côtes-du-rhône.
There's a bottle in the fridge.
A Hermitage. Is it Côtes-du-rhône?
Yes.
Sorry, it's white... A white Hermitage.
That'd suit me fine.
I've never tried it before.
- How long have you been with your husband? -15 years.
Same as me...
Almost. It's coming up 17 years.
And...
Were you already planning...
...to completely change your life... before you met Charlotte?
- Tell me if I'm being indiscreet. - Oh no...
To be honest, I don't know if...
...I knew something was happening to me...
...but I wanted to change without really thinking about it.
Like something we want very much, without daring to admit it.
It happened!
I often think about the case of people who change their lives...
...after having an accident.
As if they had to face death...
...in order to start living... get rid of the superfluous...
...and only keep the essentials.
It's not necessary to have an accident for that, is it?
To keep the essential... first you have to find it.
No point in having an accident if you've found it.
I told Charlotte maybe it was too early to meet again.
It's nice to see you again...
...but perhaps it's not very easy for you.
When I kissed Charlotte...
...if you only knew how guilty I felt. Sorry.
No, don't worry... I'm not the jealous type.
You've never been jealous?
It's not that. I just don't find it okay to be jealous.
It's a passing fancy.
I accept that a child can be jealous, but not an adult.
Perhaps it's like Charlotte, who hates romantic passion...
...grand sentiments... violins, and all that stuff.
You don't like passion?
Let's say I don't like when it's overdone...
...when things are amplified just to inflate someone's ego.
It's the same with jealousy.
I wouldn't find it very chic to get carried away...
...because it's not very elegant.
Let's just say I make the effort not to be jealous.
I've always felt sorry for people who were jealous.
I don't want pity and I don't want to feel sorry for myself.
If I was jealous, it wouldn't be pretty to see.
I might be capable of doing something bad. Who knows?
Maybe it's like you.
You don't like passion, because you feel that it might take you too far.
You don't want to be affected by it, because it would weigh you down.
Sorry, I'm talking too much.
It may be the same for love at first sight.
I've never felt love at first sight.
Maybe once when I was a teenager, with a girl...
...who I'd seen no more than 2 or 3 times.
She got stuck in my brain.
I don't know if it was love at first sight.
Yes, that's what it is.
A couple getting together after falling in love at first sight...
...are no more likely to last together than anyone else. Probably less likely.
I'm not trying to jinx you... No, it's a proven fact.
Why are you talking about chances of lasting?
Has lasting become your new criterion?
Because you're 'couples-champion' here, as you're still with your wife.
I raise my glass to the champion!
Sorry.
No, I deserved that.
It's my taxi.
Hold on. I'll get that book I told you about.
I must take the opportunity of looking at you.
I'm not likely to see you again anytime soon.
You know me and opportunities... I don't know how to grab them anymore.
Especially when time is running out.
I know that Louise will be back soon...
...and that here we are spending our one last moment together.
Our last moment.
And this moment keeps getting shorter while I'm talking to you.
Every time I was seeing you I was wondering...
...if it wasn't the last time... and then we'd see each other again.
Well, now this the moment... This is the one.
It really is the last.
Here, I found it.
Oh, thanks.
Gaston Miron... yeah, thanks.
Come back whenever you like.
Better not, if it's your husband who's staying.
- Charlotte didn't tell you? - No.
Charlotte and I thought...
...that it would be better not to see each other anymore.
-It is complicated, we're not used to it.
For example, it's not easy to kiss each other.
Yes, you have to break habits. For that, you have to take a step back.
The book bothers me a bit... giving it back to you.
- It belongs to my husband, who cares. - Fine.
- I feel guilty. - Don't, I assure you.
With us two, it was a sort of parenthesis.
When we opened them, we knew we'd have to close them.
And then, it's not really a surprise.
I'll be on my way.
I hate goodbyes that go on forever.
In fact, the longer it goes on, the longer it drags on.
It's like the Japanese when they say goodbye.
They struggle to leave each other without saying goodbye...
...because to say goodbye is too rude, it's too abrupt.
So they get mixed up in apologies and a lot of bowing.
You have to apologise for leaving.
Alright, I'm sorry, I'm going.
Two years later
Simon? Excuse me... sorry.
I'm meeting someone. Simon! But...
- How are you? - Fancy seeing you! Incredible!
It had to happen eventually.
We can see this movie together.
I came, because you once told me about it.
Sorry!
Sorry, we haven't seen each other for a long time.
Two, please.
I didn't check to see if your wife was with you. Sorry.
I'm used to going to the cinema alone...
...and it's nice to see someone you know.
Even vaguely.
There's no danger going to a movie with you...
You'd rather watch the film, than kiss the girl.
- You haven't changed. - You neither.
Yes, I've changed. I'm going to be a mum.
I went to Spain with Louise. It's possible there.
She's 4 months pregnant.
Here, it was impossible. I didn't know how to tell you.
- Sit here? - Yeah.
It's crazy... how glad I am to see you!
[Swedish dialogue]
Loved it.
Yes. I wanted to see it for a long time...
...but when it was on, I wasn't free.
Sometimes it's not the moment, then the right moment comes.
- Do you have to run? - No, I have some time.
Like a walk?
Whenever I see a car, I think about you.
Oh?
I tell myself that nature made it.
You remember that?
- Things all right at home? - Yes. No. Nothing to report.
Nothing's changed.
- Family OK? - Yes, fine.
You?
The little one's getting big and the big ones, bigger.
I've never seen them. That's odd, isn't it?
You had to make me chocolate mousse.
Yes I remember.
That day, you rather wanted something else, right?
No. I don't remember, anyway.
Sorry, but I'll say it again... I'm so glad to see you.
I don't mind at all... tell me again.
You really haven't changed.
Charlotte, I have.
I've changed. I've changed a lot.
Well, if you only knew.
No more libido? Male menopause?
No, things are still OK in that department.
So, who's enjoying the benefits?
- Your wife? Your mistress? - No.
So, no one?
That's sad.
In my daydreams, it's you who benefits.
Really? Me?
You still think of me?
I'm flattered... I'll blush!
I like to know you still think of me...
...in other ways than about cars.
I get thoughts too.
I know I should appear to you like some movie-psychopath...
...who never forgets, and remains stuck in the past...
...who's impossible to reason with. Right?
Precisely.
I didn't see the time, I have to be going.
Yeah.
Perhaps...
...we could see each other again?
Yes, I'll come to see you with Louise for her pre-natal sessions.
I just meant...
...if just the two of us could meet.
I felt you wanted to ask me that.
It's not that I wouldn't like to, it's just that...
...I'd rather not, because I think of you too.
And I'm happy with my memories of my time with you. Really happy.
- Not me. - What?
I've missed something.
You were married, Simon. It wasn't about our time.
Louise was also married, but she hasn't wasted time.
I'm a man.
My understanding's slower. You should've helped me.
Helped you with what?
Well...
By telling me to leave my wife.
Isn't that what mistresses are meant to do?
You should've blackmailed me.
Create scenes to make my life impossible.
Men like me need to be shaken and stirred.
I'm a slowcoach.
You should've understood that.
You were good with your wife. You didn't want to leave her.
I didn't want you to leave her.
You did...
We both wanted it to happen.
We just didn't admit it to ourselves.
We weren't far off, though.
Almost there.
You had to come across Louise, who was ready-made for you.
But it should've been us.
You didn't say a thing when I left you. Didn't try to hold me back... nothing.
That's the way I am.
I hate dramas.
Charlotte, there's still time to fix everything...
I'm ready now.
I understand.
- No, it's too late, it's over. - It's never too late.
Charlotte...
No, it's too late.
We wanted to be cool.
We were cool.
- We missed out on everything. - Not at all, we didn't miss anything.
It was perfect. We were always good together.
And also because... we weren't always together.
I really have to go.
I'm sorry.
Let's meet again to discuss it.
I've said all I want to say. We were good. Everything was fine.
It was joyful, it was easygoing... it was...
You have to remember that.
Let's not forget, it's...
We did what we said we would. We've fulfilled our promises.
I tried to put everything in order.
It's useless to stir everything up.
I don't want to see things any differently. I'm sorry.
Forgive me...
It's me who's sorry... you're right.
My reaction's been misplaced, very rude and selfish.
It's just that seeing you had quite an effect on me...
...and my brutish side took over.
I told you what was going on in my mind...
...but a lot of other things were going on in my mind.
I know I should be happy, to have experienced a time with you.
I'm like a capricious child who wants to keep something...
...a spoiled child who always wants more.
An insufferable child.
But...
You know, I'm correcting myself.
And I'm making progress, I assure you.
Oh dear! I certainly wouldn't like to be in your place...
How embarrassing it must be to find yourself there in front of me.
On top of which, you're late and you feel obliged to listen to me.
Above all, don't think that I'm sad.
It'd make me very unhappy.
And if sometimes, by chance, I happen to be sad, I'll do like many others...
...and listen to melancholy music... and then, what happiness!
What sweet joy! How fortunate to be sad!
All is well.
You taking the subway? May I come with you?
Yes.