This is the future. 这就是未来的样子
The world as we know it is gone. 我们所熟知的世界已成过去
Acid rain has left the land barren, and the water toxic. 酸雨让土地变得贫瘠 水质变得有毒
Scared by endless wars, humanity struggles to survive in the ruins of the old world. 人们只能在废墟之中苟延残喘 害怕那无尽的战争
Frozen in an everlasting nuclear winter, this is the future. 世界仿佛被冻结在核爆后的冬季 这就是未来
This is the year 1997. 今年是1997
分别标示: 家 玩的地方 危险区域 (动作为增加了一块危险区域)
Turbo Blast! 旋风冲击!
- Yeah! - Oh, yeah! Come on. - 好啊! - 哦也! 快开始
Kid! 小子!
Hey, oh, man, it's been a long time. 嘿 有阵子没来过啦
How you been, huh? 你过得怎样?
OK. 还不差
A vicious whore bit me, right smack in the middle of my nut-sack. 一个臭婊子咬到我了 正中我的命根子
That shit ever happen to you? 你没遇到过吗?
Hey, what happened? 发生什么了?
Who did that? 谁干的?
It was the rat. 是老鼠
That rat did that? 老鼠抓你?
It was a vicious rat. 是个臭老鼠
You know, it's a goddamn miracle that you're still surviving on your own. 你知道吗 你还活着算是你走了狗屎运
Well, how about a drink? 喝一杯吗?
Uh, no thank you. 不了 谢谢
Suit yourself. 你自便吧
Are you gonna play nice, Mr Bird? 你不会惹事的 对吧? 鸟先生
Huh? Are you gonna play nice? 嗯? 你不会惹事吧?
OK. 不会
OK. 好
The drinks are on you. 你负责请客
- Yeah. - Aha-ha. - 好 - 啊哈
Huh, still undefeated. 从没被打败过
So, what else you got? 你还带了什么?
Oh, um... 哦...
Well for this junk, I, uh, can give you the usual. 这些垃圾 只能按照平时的给
Hmm? 嗯?
Let me give you a couple of these too on credit. 这些给你 算是额外借的
Looks worse than ever. 水质越来越差
Well, if you feel like complaining some more, 如果你不满意的话
you're more than welcome to lap up whatever's on the floor. 你可以喝地板上的液体
This sucks. 真悲剧
Hey! 嘿!
Keep pedalling, you piece of shit. 继续踩 你个废物
Unbelievable. 真不敢相信
Or I could always, uh, toss this in for good measure, hmm? 或者我可以给你这个 以后多给点好东西 嗯?
What the hell do you think you're doing? Huh? 你知道你在做什么吗?
You can't just walk into a man's personal bubble. 你走路撞到别人圈子里不好
His what? 别人的什么?
A man's personal space, the arm-length radius, yeah? 别人的圈子 用手能够到你的范围 知道吗?
My mother-fucking-comfort-zone, and it's family only. 他妈的私人空间懂不懂 只有亲人可以接近
Sir? 先生?
Can't you see I'm in the middle of something here? 没看到我在忙吗?
- Another one's gone missing. - Who? - 又失踪一个了 - 谁?
I haven't got all day. 我可没那么闲
Are you going to tell me who it is, or am I gonna beat it out of you? 告诉我是谁失踪了 还是要我打到你说?
It's your brother. 是你的兄弟
Fuck! 该死!
Let's roll! 我们走!
- Let's go! - Yeah, come on. Move it. - 我们走! - 好啊 走
Outstanding performance! 非常棒的表演!
Your infamous brother would be proud. 你那无耻的哥哥会为你骄傲的
Do you have any last requests? 你还有什么遗言?
Hmm, try not to see this as punishment 别认为这是对你的惩罚
but rather an opportunity to prove your usefulness in these difficult times. 但是是对你在这荒凉时代能力的一种考验
"Your reign of justice is over, Turbo Rider," "和平的时代就此结束了 旋风骑士"
"but to be a true hero, you'll have to save your girlfriend." "如果你要成为英雄 那你就必须拯救你的女朋友"
"Save me, Turbo Rider." "救我 旋风骑士"
"Your evil plan will fail, Dr Robotor." "你的邪恶计划将会失败 机器博士"
"I will destroy you with my Turbo Glove, the ultimate weapon against the robot threat." "我会用旋风手套 对付你的终极武器"
"But I am no ordinary robot, I am a secret weapon." "我可不是什么普通机器人 我是秘密武器"
"Prepare to taste a full turbo charge of..." Um... "准备好面对旋风冲..." 呃...
Hey! 嘿!
What's that in your hand? 你手里的是什么?
It's, um, it's a comic book. 是 呃是漫画书
What's it about? 关于什么的?
It's about Turbo Rider? 关于旋风骑士的?
That's rad. 是个名人
Are you alone? 你一个人?
Do you have any friends? 你有朋友吗?
Oh, do you want to play hide and seek? 你想玩躲猫猫吗?
- I, um, I gotta go. - Wait! - 我 呃 我得走了 - 等等!
Before we go, I just have to take care of something. 我们走之前 我得安置一点东西
It's OK, now. You don't have to worry about me any more. 没事了 你不用担心我了
I found a new friend. I'll be fine I promise. 我找到了一位新朋友 我会过得很好的
Um... Hmm. 呃...
Sir, sir? 头 头儿?
I've been thinking. I don't know, do you think it'd be a better idea 我一直在想 是不是寻找水源
to keep looking for the water source, instead of, you know, fighting Zeus? 比干掉Zeus更重要呢?
Are you saying we should abandon my brother? 你是说我要抛弃我的弟弟吗?
No. No. No, but I mean, do you really think we stand a chance? 不不不 但您觉得我们能够碰巧地打赢吗?
Chance? Is that how you think I became a champion? 碰巧? 你觉得我成为英雄是靠碰巧?
A man with a good plan has already won half the battle. 如果你有好的计划 那就赢了一半了
So what is the plan? 那计划是什么?
Right now, the plan is to take a piss. 先去尿个尿
Who needs chance anyways? 谁需要运气呢?
What a cheap move. 真卑鄙
How'd I know that was gonna be you? 我怎么知道哪个是你?
Soon you'll have to learn how to fix it by yourself. 很快你就得自己学会怎么修自行车了
Here you go. 好了
- Good morning! - Whoa! - 早上好! - 哇!
What are you doing here? 你在这儿做什么?
Breakfast. 早餐
Wow, where did you find all this stuff?
Look at all these!
It's like a museum of coolness in here.
Oh, I love these, and the mixed colours.
Look at that dress. I love the colour of that dress.
It's so nice. Oh, my God.
- There's so many little things... - Hey! Don't touch that!
Are you OK?
Yeah, just, you know,
- you stepped in my manly bubble, thing... - Oh.
Did I break it?
No, it's more of a, um,
an arm length, um, comfort radius zone, OK?
Oh, I see.
- How did you find me? - Oh, it's the bracelet.
Oh, great. Well,
how do you get it off?
Oh, you just don't.
Sit.
Eat your cereal before it gets all mushy.
- OK, how do I know you didn't poison this? - Well, because, friends don't poison friends.
No, no, OK. We are not friends.
OK? I don't even know who you are.
We met at the playground.
Yeah, but you broke into my home.
You touched my things...
And you talk to dead people.
And I brought you back your Turbo Rider comic book.
Well, OK, you know,
I thought you would want to hang out,
- but you know, if you want me to go, then... - Wait!
OK, you can, you can stay. But just for a while.
My name's Apple.
Of course it is.
What are we going to do today?
- I am going scavenging. - Rad. I love scavenging.
No, no, no! You, hmm, you stay here.
Just don't touch anything.
Well, why can't I come?
Um, well, because...
Because you don't have a bike.
We are going scavenging.
Yes!
I love scavenging.
OK.
You were right!
Your manly bubble is really comfortable!
OK, we need to talk.
OK, if you're coming with me, you need to follow the survival rules of the wasteland.
OK! I love rules!
OK, rule number one, always have water on you.
Water, check.
And, rule two, always stay within the safe zone.
Ooh, that's clever.
Thank you.
Rule number three, always have your wheels ready.
Have your wheels ready.
- Um... - Oh.
Yee-ha!
Number four, try avoiding people, especially those who look evil.
Well, I'm happy you didn't avoid me.
Like I had a choice.
So you're Frederick, the arm wrestler.
You have an eye for the obvious, Zeus.
Uh, you know it's wonderful to finally put a face to the name,
and an honour to have you here.
You can shove that honour up your arse.
Now, what the hell have you done with my brother?
Patience my good man, patience.
Now, your way of settling things, I find a bit tedious.
Around here we like to do things with a little more joie de vivre.
Blades, that's a nice touch.
And there's more, blades and fire!
Haa!
When I say blades and fire, I want blades and fire.
Do you mind?
No, go ahead.
Thank you.
Just because civilisation is over, doesn't mean we can't act civilised.
Well, what do you say we see what the man has to offer, huh?
All right, Zeus, but you won't like what you see.
You think I didn't see that coming?
I have eyes everywhere.
From where I stand, I only see one.
Mother fucker!
I'm going to kill you with my bare hands.
Well, from where I stand, I only see one.
Rule number five, no hugging while riding.
I'm sorry.
OK, now we really need to find you a bike, and maybe a helmet.
- Rule number five... - Six.
- Rule number six... - Yes.
Always carry a weapon.
And seven, if you don't have one, make one.
Make one.
Making a weapon...
Ah.
This is so pretty.
This is my weapon.
This is my gnome stick.
I really like it a lot, thank you so much.
Pew, poo, poo, poo in the eye, you're not part of it. Argh!
Yeah, that's right.
Boom! Pow! Gnome!
Boom! Kabam!
Pooh! Nah I told you, get back here!
- Don't you ever rest? - No.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
What are you doing here?
I'm practising my swing.
I mean, how did you get here, this side of the wasteland?
Well, my last best friend was a water hunter, so I tagged along.
Then he died, and here we are.
I'm sorry.
Why, what'd you do?
No, no. I mean, about your friend.
Oh, no, don't be, he's dead.
So, where do you come from?
Pretty far, all the way from the other side of the wasteland.
I always wondered what the other side looked like.
It's kind of grey and dusty. Well, I could show you.
I can't.
Oh yeah, rule number two...
Well, that's too bad, that's too bad because you're "It"!
Hah!
- What? - You're "It", I tagged you!
Now, you gotta tag me back, if you can!
Hah!
- Oh, look at the bird... - Where?
You're friggin' fast.
Wanna see something cool?
I always want to see something cool.
Come on.
Whoa, that's a T-Rex.
Yeah, they were these, um, big creatures that used to walk the earth a long time ago.
And they got killed off by this big explosion.
It's kind of like what happened to us,
you know?
Run! Run! Run!
As you may know, the situation is critical.
Our defence grid has been breached.
We have reached maximum casualty level.
This is it soldier.
We have to hit these damn machines with everything we've got.
You are our last hope.
Turbo Rider.
The fate of our future is in your hand.
Where is she?
I'm coming, Apple.
My beloved followers, we have a very special guest with us here this evening.
May I introduce Frederick, the one-handed arm wrestler.
Now, Frederick wishes to be reunited with his loving brother.
We all know how generous of spirit I am, and I'm going to grant him his wish.
I bet you're wondering what this contraption is, hmm?
You like science? I absolutely love it.
For example, do you know how much water there is in the average human body?
Your blood is 83% water, your muscle tissue, 75%.
The gristle and cartilage around your bones, 55%.
The bones themselves, 25%.
And your noggin up here, the old grey matter is 90% water.
Which brings the grand total to ten precious gallons of H2O.
Ten gallons, which this machine is designed to extract.
- I hope you choke on it, you mother fucker! - Ah, ha-ha.
My beloved followers, who keeps you safe?
Zeus!
Who quenches your thirst?
Zeus!
And who keeps you bloody entertained?
Zeus!
You see? I'm not nearly as despicable as you think.
- Let the juicing begin. - No!
I beg your pardon, did somebody say something?
Did somebody say something?
Release the girl!
And who exactly are you supposed to be?
I'm a super hero.
And what exactly is your super power?
I said, what is your super power?
This.
Oh, come on, son. Give it your best shot.
Well, that's rather disappointing, isn't it?
Into the pool with him!
In the pool!
Whoa! Oh!
I'm so happy to see you.
Oh, I, uh, I brought you something.
I brought this back for you.
You're the best.
A reunion, how sweet.
You know, I'm real happy for you kids, I am.
But unless we all want to end up in that giant fucking blender over there, we need a plan.
OK so listen up. I'm going to take the fat one,
he might be strong, but he'll be slow.
You take the big guy. Yeah, you're going to have to surprise him.
You two take the ugly one, OK?
What's the matter, kid, huh? Are you scared?
- Yeah. - Fear is good, use it as a weapon. Yeah?
Now, girl what is that thing, a dwarf?
No, that's my gnome stick!
OK, whatever. I want you to swing it as hard
as you can at that mother fucker's face.
- Yeah? - Sir, yes sir!
Huh?
Feel the wrath of Mr Gnome.
Can you feel it?
The wrath of Mr Gnome!
I guess that was our cue.
You fat fuck, you're fast.
Apple.
Not so fast now are you, fat fuck?
Bravo.
I have to admit, I did not see that coming.
We won. Let us go.
That's not how it works, kid.
You're changing the rules, are you, Zeus?
It's my game, my rules.
No!
I admire your resolve, but in the end, you're just a loser.
Eh, put the kid down.
Argh.
Playtime's over, kid.
Prepare to taste a turbo charge of justice in the face!
Watch out!
Hey, kids, now would be a good time to leave.
Let's split up.
Find them.
Kill them.
Bring me back their heads on pikes.
Hey there, sleepy head.
Where, uh, where are we?
We're on a couch.
Why? How?
You got pretty beat up. You came back to save me.
That was really sweet of you.
You look pretty good in that suit.
- You think so? - Hmm.
I just wish I could have done more, you know?
I wish I could have been more like the real Turbo Rider.
Yeah, maybe you can't,
but you could totally be Turbo Kid.
That man in the eye patch, it was him.
I wish I could have stopped him, I should have.
- Instead, I let you get shot. - Hmm.
You're a robot.
You're it!
You're pretty human-like for a robot.
I'm very high-tech.
I thought all robots were supposed to be evil.
Depends on the model.
Well, can you shoot
laser beams out of your mouth?
No, silly, I'm just a friendship...
Apple? Apple?
Apple?
Are you all right?
Yeah, my bioelectric transmitter is damaged.
- Does it hurt? - Oh, no.
I'm just losing some hearts.
Hmm.
What happens when you have no more hearts?
I'll shut down, for good.
Shut down? You mean you'll die?
Yeah, yeah I'll die.
Oh.
Holy shit!
Kid? Look at you!
Don't you think you're taking this comic book shit too far, huh?
Look, we need your help.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't care what kind of trouble you got yourself into,
I'm not interested.
Hey. Hey.
Put that back.
Looks like you got yourself a girlfriend, hmm?
Oh!
Give me that back, young lady!
Hey, what are you doing? You're leaving?
Yes, and if I were you, I'd be packing too.
Frederick The Arm-Wrestler is gone!
There's a shit storm coming!
Some crazy bastards pissed off Zeus and he's on the warpath!
Oh, yeah, that was us.
And look!
Wait!
Stop following me!
All we need is a bioelectric transmitter.
She's gonna die!
Are you insane?
Argh.
She's a robot!
Yeah, but she's my friend.
I don't want to hear about it!
Bagu, please!
And why should I help you?
What's in it for me?
Um...
You could have this.
All right.
But just because it's you.
You need to head north,
find highway 64.
There, you'll find your... Robot cemetery.
You might have some luck finding whatever it is you're looking for there.
That is, if you're still alive.
Now that's all I know, so leave me alone. Hmm?
- Thank you! - Thank you. Thank you.
Yeah.
Oh, and uh, Bagu, the water, it's people.
People?
Nonsense.
Whoo-hoo!
- Apple! - Look at us ride!
Over here!
Apple!
Stupid piece of God damn shit.
Why does this aching son of a bitch always have to happen to me?
Ah!
I mean, how could this day get possibly fucking worse?
Fuck!
Hey there, sleepy head.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Are you sure?
Oh, yes.
See, I have seven point five hearts left.
Wait, how can you eat if you're a robot?
Oh, I can eat, I can drink, I can sleep, I can breathe.
The illusion works better if I behave 100% like a human.
I mean, cos you know,
no one wants to remind a human that his best friend is a robot.
Well, I actually think it's kind of cool
that you're a robot.
And, plus, you've got some pretty serious fighting skills too.
Do you want me to teach you?
Yeah!
Yes!
Are you ready to become a master in the art of kicking ass?
- Yes. - Strike first, strike hard, show no mercy!
That's it!
That's it?
Eyes! Throat! Genitals!
So, strike first.
Always surprise your enemy.
Strike hard, always remember the weak points of the human body, eyes, throat, genitals.
- Okay. - And show no mercy,
so, you know, show no mercy.
Thank you.
That was cool.
- Oh, this is so much fun. - I'm glad it is for you.
I love watching the sky at night.
Do you know why there are so many stars?
Oh, because space consists of a whole lot of dust and gas
that gather to form billions and billions of
stars and suns across the different galaxies of the universe?
Yeah... No!
I mean, what I was going to say is that,
my mom once told me that, when somebody dies, a star is born.
So when the apocalypse happened,
the sky lit up with all the souls of the people who died.
So, your mom is up there?
Yup, with my father. Up there in the sky.
It's weird, I, uh... I never told anyone about my parents before.
I'm, I'm sorry.
No worries, it could happen to anybody.
We'll fix you...
Promise.
A T-Rex.
Where the fuck am I?
Zeus?
How are you?
You're looking fine, and, uh, kind of serious.
Is that a new coat?
Oh!
Oh, oh that's... That doesn't look good.
No, that's bad, that's bad.
Look, whatever it is, I'm sure we can talk this through!
Were you actually going to leave town without saying goodbye?
Me?
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
I was just gonna take a few days off, you know?
Go to the beach, work on my tan.
Just... I could really use some vitamin D.
You know, Vitamin D.
I'm looking for a young boy, a young girl, and a big strapping cowboy.
Cowboy, huh?
Wow. And a boy and a girl, uh... Maybe! Maybe.
Nah, it doesn't ring a bell.
No.
No, no, no, no, no!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in case you haven't noticed,
your guts are literally attached to the wheel of this bicycle.
This is...
Ingenious! Yes, thank you.
Now, I know
that you know where they are.
So, I suggest you start talking right away.
The robot cemetery!
They're at the robot cemetery.
That's all I know...
Well, that was quick, rather disappointing actually.
You're gonna help me put these back in, right?
- Mmm. - Please?
Do you have any idea how much time it took to set this up?
Huh?
Yes, I'm sure you'll understand.
No, no, no, no.
Ah! No, no, no, no!
Shh.
It's a dead end!
Apple.
No!
I'm so sorry. We were so close.
It's okay.
You're the best friend that I've ever had.
Don't die on me!
We're here, hold on!
Apple, wake up!
Wake up!
I don't wanna be alone again.
I've been travelling all day, and I've developed quite a thirst.
Would you have a drop of untainted water for a fellow traveller?
Lower your hammer please, that won't be necessary.
I know that my friend here doesn't look quite as friendly as I do,
but I assure you, all I need is a simple cup of water.
Thank you.
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's exactly what I needed.
Now, where did you get the water?
Because this is my land.
Taking anything from my land would be considered stealing.
And you don't want to steal from me, do you?
You got what you wanted, now please leave.
Where did you get the water?
It's OK, honey, I got this.
It's all right, honey, he's got this.
Death by drowning, it's a luxury few men can afford.
Stop!
Hah, look at this.
I admire your spirit, young lady, but your story has come to an end.
Then let's make it memorable.
No!
No.
She's mine.
Stop!
Well, what have we got here?
All right, kid, take your best shot.
No, don't bother, he won't last long out there.
Fore!
You all right there, kid?
You took quite a dose of that nasty gas.
Where's Apple?
I'm sorry, kid.
Why'd you save me?
I owed you one.
Well, actually, I needed a new hand.
I sure as hell didn't expect to find you there.
It's like fate or some shit.
It's impressive, huh?
You know what that is?
Turbo Mega Blaster.
You sure know your shit, kid, don't ya?
I guess you know where I'm going with this then, hmm?
I'm meeting up with an old mate and we're going straight to Zeus.
We're going to shove that thing so far up his ass,
that he'll taste his own shit.
So, kid...
What do you say?
Let's roll.
Yeah, let's roll.
How does he keep sneaking up on me like that?
What are you doing?
Just play it cool, kid.
Trust me.
I love that dress!
You know, Frederick, you make poor choices in friends.
Ah, look, the arm-wrestler has grown a new arm.
What about you kid,
you feeling feisty after losing your super power?
And your girlfriend, correction, robotic girlfriend.
Here name was Apple!
I admire your spirit, kid,
but unfortunately your story's about to come to an end.
Then let's make it memorable.
Ah, you're the kid.
Ha...
You're full of surprises, aren't you?
For Christ's sake, will you shut the fuck up and let's fight!
I knew you'd be eager, that's why I brought the party to you.
It's play time.
Get ready to fight, kid.
This is going to get ugly.
I don't know if I can do this.
A man never knows how strong he is until being strong is the only choice he has.
Really?
I don't know, kid, but it sounds good.
Argh!
Eyes!
Throat!
Genitals!
Nice!
Ladies...
Now I'm feeling the love.
Come on, bitch, huh? Come on!
You like that? Take this, bitch!
That's it, sweetheart. Come to daddy.
Ugh!
Hey, kid!
Fucker!
Good riddance, you fucker.
You're alive.
You didn't wait for me.
- I'm so sorry, I thought you were dead. - No, no, no!
I mean to start the fight.
Oh...
Well, I brought you back your, um,
um, turbo, uh, glove thing.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
You son of a bitch.
Oh, you son of a...
Such a rude individual.
Look at us, huh?
Déjà vu all over again.
Oh, and you were right, it was memorable.
Now, what was so difficult about that?
Ah.
Playtime is over Zeus.
You know, I really like most people, but you, I don't like.
Ah!
Well, I've worn you far too long.
So much for trying to fit in.
You're a robot?
Yeah, you didn't know?
Robot?
Ha, I am a CC1-11, corporate companion,
designed to create and instigate corporate policy.
Fashioned to the likeness of my master.
He said to me,
just before I bashed his head in with his own golf club,
"Remember, you're only a robot."
Only a robot!
Well, I'm the one standing here, not him.
Sir, you are very mean.
I don't expect a basic friendship unit
to have a CPU fast enough to understand what I just said.
But rest assured,
human beings are highly inefficient,
pests actually, not unlike cockroaches.
You're a monster!
I was designed by your kind.
You made me what I am.
It was a mistake!
And I'm trying to fix it!
That's what super heroes do!
How charming.
Would you like to see what I do? Huh?
You did good, Turbo Kid.
And when you watch the sky at night, I'll be there.
No.
You did the right thing, kid.
How's your shoulder?
Should be all right.
You cannot kill this cowboy.
I can't believe you found the fucking water source!
That's going to save hundreds of lives, maybe more.
Take good care of it.
So you sure you want to leave, then?
Where are you gonna go?
To see what the rest of the wasteland looks like.
Well, there's not much to see there, kid.
I know.