-= CHD字幕组 =- 字幕制作：passinggod@CHD
"AV (Adult Video), a tool for men's sexual fantasy,"
"a world of men domination."
"What if one day, everything is overturned,"
"and the roles of men and women have swapped..."
My name is Wyman Chan. I'm a writer, 我叫陈伟文，是一个作家
pen name "Touchez Moi" “隋处摸”是我的笔名
I write erotic fiction 没错
for newspaper. 其实我只是在报纸的风月版写情色小说
I'm not ashamed of it. 但我经常都安慰自己
Cuz it requires certain writing skills. 其实我的小说一点都不容易写
For examples, boobies, 譬如说，明明是女人的乳房
I'll refer them as Pinky Peaches, 就要写作“水蜜桃”
and vagina as the Waterfall Cave. 女人的性器官，就写作“水帘洞”
She is my girlfriend. She is also a writer. 她是我女朋友，她也是一个作家
a well-known 不过她就是大名鼎鼎
romance novelist - Ceclia Jik. 畅销文艺爱情小说家席梦丝
A few years ago, her lovey-dovey novel... 几年前她那本肉麻当纯情的小说…
THINK OF YOU IN HIS ARMS has gone to 10th printing, 《想着你抱着他爱着谁》卖到翻印十几版
sold as much as Hong Kong Map. 比得上香港地图
A sentence of hers worth 之后她现在一行字的稿费
more my whole column. 比我写足一晚还多
Look at her, elegant and decent 你看看她，多优雅，多端庄
But actually she has a dark side... 其实她私底下，有不为人知的一面…
Harder! 大力点
Harder... 大力点…
Left turn! 左转呀
Wait a minute, left turn? 等一下，怎么左转呀？
Is it like driving? 就像开车那样呀？
What a dumb-ass! 怎么你这么笨！
Every time I have to remind you! Like this! 每次都要我提你！这样呀！
Remember? I taught you so many times! Like this! 你记得吗？我教了你很多次，是这样呀！
It hurts! 好痛呀！
Am I hot? 我正不正？
Of course! 正！
Look at me! 看着我
Why are you pushing so hard? 干嘛这么大力呀？
Go deeper! 进去点
Why are you digging so deep? 进这么深干嘛？
I am about to come, let's come together! 我快要到了，我们一起吧！
It's coming. 来了
It's here. 到了
I came already. 已经到了
You didn't scream when you were cumming. 你刚刚射的时候，好像没叫？
Yes, I did. 有，怎会没有？
I cried out, "Wow, it's here, I came". 我在叫，哗，到了，这样呀
But your eyes didn't even flip once? 都没看到你反白眼的？
Yes, they did! 有反，全反了
You could see the whites, 全白了
as if I was blind 瞎子一样
Really? 真的？
Really! 真！
Let's have a round two, now! 再来一炮，马上！
Again? 又来？
It's like this... 就是这样
Sex has traumatized me. 我对做爱就产生了莫名奇妙的恐惧
Larry, stop rushing me, 梁景，别催啦
it's almost done, just the ending now... 就差结尾，很快，结尾了…
What? I don't need to write anymore? 以后不用写？
You can't just scrapped an adult section like this. 风月版怎可以说停就停？
Do you know how many men in Hong Kong 你知不知道全香港每天有多少男人
rely on my work for their jerk breaks? 都靠我那几百字来做下体运动呀？
Have you ever thought of me working in the sports section? 其实有没有想过把我转到体育版去呢？
Let me refer you... 我推荐你…
Everything can be found on the internet now, 现在上网什么都有得看
the adult section is a goner. I'm now in the religion section. 风月版没得做啦，我给转到宗教版去
Yesterday featured The Gospel, today is Buddha. 昨天才说完马太福音，今天要说阿弥陀佛
Buddha is good! 阿弥陀佛好呀！
Simon, we are really doomed... 老袁，我们好惨啊…
I know, the adult section is scrapped, 知道了，风月版给裁了嘛
I won't last very long here either... 我这里也撑不了多久了
Ah, the world is changing! 唉，简直是世风日下！
Who knows pervert business would die out one day... 万料不到，色情事业都有衰落的一天呀
Look at you, 就说你吧
selling pirated porn here, that's stealing... 在这儿卖盗版，就是贼嘛
But now you can't even survive as a thief! 现在贼都没得做
What has become of Hong Kong? The city is dying! 你说香港还不死吗？这城市正垂死中！
You're wrong, 你错了
the city is dead. 这城市已经死了
But I think that pervert business would never die. 不过我觉得呢，色情事业是永垂不朽的
Think about it, what is the origins of humans? 你想想，人类的来源是什么？
It's by being horny! 就是好色嘛！
If humans are not horny, how do we exist? 如果人不好色，哪还有人类？
There must be a way! 一定有得做的！
Yes...But now everything on the internet is free, 对…可是现在上网免费任看
who would pay? 哪有人买呀？
Content is more important than a freebie. 免费也要有内容呀
Do you understand? A great content! 明不明白？内容呀！
We don't fucking understand. 不明白
In Hong Kong, there is "Home Ownership Scheme", 香港，胜在有“居者有其屋”
for porn DVDs, 色片
there must be one that satisfy perverts' crave! 没理由色者没其片的！
Let's ask the gang to invest a few thousands each, 我们叫团友每人投几万
and invest into making an AV. 集资去投资拍AV
We can film whatever 那当上投资者
we want as we are investors, 那我们想拍啥，就拍啥啰！
and the gang can also go to see the on-site shooting. 那些团友又可以去看AV的拍摄过程
We three can sell the movie out... 我们三个拿着版权
and split the profit. 能卖多少钱，我们三个分了它
But shouldn't it be quite expensive to make an AV? 可是拍AV好像不便宜吧？
Not exactly! 那可不是呀！
I have asked around. The cost of filming an AV... 我问过了，拍一部AV…，拍一部AV…
can be a few thousands to a few hundred thousands, 几万可以，几十万也可以
it's entirely up to you. 丰俭由人呀
That's right! We can work around the budget. 不就是吗！拍戏的事很灵活的嘛
Think about it, 你想想
a Michelin food tour costs the same already, 参加那些蔡澜美食团也要几万块呀
and there is no guarantee you would be full! 说不定他还把东西全吃光呢！
An AV production trip will definitely attract so many people! 一定很多人参加的！
It's really feasible! 真的可以考虑
I have a friend who sends me AVs from Japan regularly. 我有个朋友，在日本专门寄AV给我盗版
Have her arrange the trip, 找她安排
and we can even sell our movie to the Japanese after! 拍完以后再卖给日本人也行
Great. She can have half the profit, we have the other half. 那就行了，她要一半，我们三个要一半
It seems that everything is coming together! 说着说着好像真的成事了！
If it's for real, I'm interested too. 有噱头，我也有兴趣呀
Who are you? 你是谁呀？
I'm here to buy porn. 我来买A片的
A few thousands for the real stuff, 几万块去见识见识
I think my friends will be interested too. 我想我很多朋友也有兴趣
You see? Our first investor! 听到没有，马上有第一个客人了！
If we succeed this time, we can do it for long-term! 如果我们这次做得好的话，长做长有呀！
Let's do it then, I am getting so turned on already. 那马上去搞啦！已经未出发先兴奋了
Just talking about it give me a stiff! 我说起来都有一点硬了
That one's great! 这张好呀！
That one there - "Bed your wife". Give me that one. 那张《淫荡人妻》，给我一张嘛
Fuck! Why the fuck are you buying! Go home and download! 妈的！买你妹呀！上网下载啦！
Talk show! 相声呀！
- What talk show? - David Letterman works here! 相声？ 他写着赵本山
- He is really famous. - This way... 那些内地人真红 这边…
By the way, who is the woman 对了，帮我们安排
that helps us to make this AV? 拍AV那女的是什么人？
She is a Hong Konger, but has lived in Japan for a long time. 本身是香港人，但是在日本住了很久了
It's her who sends me Japanese AVs 她一直帮我买些日本新出的A片
to make pirated ones. 寄回香港给我盗版
This time she has helped us a lot. 这回她出了不力的
Look, the one who is squatting there is her. 前面蹲着的那个就是她
Hatoyama! 鸠山！
It's here. 到了…
Up the stairs is a paradise amid these busy surroundings. 旺中带静呢，上了这条楼梯…
It's quite a secret place. 这里也蛮神秘的嘛
It fits what we come for. 那和我们来的目的一样
I have a bad feeling about it. 我有一种不祥的预感
This is yours, 你的
yours, 你的
yours... 你的…
these are yours. 这些是…你们的
I will show the special rooms in a minute, 我待会就带你们去看看充满特色的房间
I can assure that you will all be so wowed! 包管你们会有“哗”一声的感觉
Wow! 哗…
You see? It really 'wows' the fuck out of you! 是不是真妈的“哗”呢？
The special thing of here is you can slide in and out, 这里最特别是可以横着进横着出
it's a fucking great feature! 他妈的特别呢
It looks just the same as a morgue! 这里跟殓房没差多少呀！
Of course not! 那可不一样！
In a morgue, you are wheeled out, here you do it yourself. 殓房要人拉你出来，这里不用唷
Now I know a place that's 我终于知道这个世上
worse than subdivided flats! 有地方比住地下房更惨！
How can we live in such a small room? 房间那么小，怎么住呀？
If you see it as a locker, 你把它当储物柜…
it's actually fucking huge! 那就他妈的大呢！
Excuse me, you are Shitdog... 什么鸠？
Shodaiko Hatoyama. 鸠山初代子
Miss Shodaiko, 代子小姐是吧？
you are right. 你也有你的道理
We should always look at the bright side. 我们应该凡事向好的方向看
We don't come here to stay in a five-star hotel, right? 难道我们专程过来是住五星级酒店吗？
That's right! 没错！
Our money should be spent in the right place. 我们的钱，应该花在值得花的地方
Yes! 说得对
Our energy should also be used in the right place. 我们的精力，都应该出在最应该出的地方
Thank you very much, Miss Shodaiko! 真麻烦你呀，鸠小姐！
You are welcome! 不用客气！
Shodai, touching balls... is your real name? 初代是…你名字？
Or your hobby? 还是兴趣呢？
My mom gave me this name. 是我妈妈改的！
- Your mom likes to touch balls... - Yes! 你老妈喜欢初代… 是呀！
Fuck, would this be a set-up? 靠，我们会不会被骗了？
Well, what I fear the most now... 靠！我现在啥都不怕
is this Shodaiko will be the leading actress in our AV. 我最怕那个初代子，兼任AV女主角而已
Now you are really scaring me! 那我真的好怕喔
It won't be that bad, I have already told her... 不会那么无良的，我跟她说明…
we only want a famous AV actress with big tits. 要大胸，又出名的AV女优的
Don't you think that you guys are actually quite pessimistic? 其实，你们会不会太悲观呢？
You always assume that we are being set up. 整天觉得人家要骗我们似的
Then what should we do? 那应该怎么样？
Think about it, as a man, we have seen AVs for decades, 你想想，我们看了几十年AV
and have jerked off thousands of times. 做了几十年男人，打了几千次飞机
But tomorrow will be the first time 可是明天
to encounter a real AV girl, 是真真正正第一次接触到真正的AV女优
and have our own AV. 拍属于自己的AV
Shouldn't we have an ablution... 为了迎接这个神圣的一刻
to welcome this sacred moment? 我们是不是应该一起斋戒沐浴呢？
An ablution? 斋戒沐浴？
Raining is actually not too bad! 其实，下雨也不错呀！
It will be even heavier tomorrow... 明天更大乳呀…
How do you know? 你又知道？
AV girls usually have really big and "heavy" boobs... 那些女优好大乳的嘛…
Tomorrow is gonna be better. 希望在明天嘛
Look everyone, 各位团友
here is the holy place of AV... 这里就是无数AV的胜地
and also an all-in-one studio. 这里是一个复合片场
Look over there, a clinic... 看，那边就有一个诊所
where "Hot and Steamy Nurse" is often filmed. 整天在拍《淫贱女护士》的
Here's a classroom, 这边就是课室
where "Innocent School Girl" is filmed. 拍《纯情学生妹》
Isn't it fucking amazing? 是不是他妈的“哗”呢？
Wow! 哗…
Hey! 喂喂！
This bed is the one I've seen in many AVs! 这张床呀，不就是经常拍AV那张？
Take me a photo... 帮我拍照…
I fuck you... 我操你…
I bang you... 我操你…
No! Stop! 别去呀！
Your eyes are really sharp, 你真是有眼光呢
many AV actors have actually creamed here. 这里是不少AV男优出精的地方
Where exactly? 出在哪里呢？
Generally it's there! 通常出在那里！
Under a UV light, 如果用紫外光灯一照
it will glow! 整张床会发光的呢！
You see! 听见没有
Good morning, everyone! 早晨，大家好！
This is the director, you can ignore him. 这位是导演，不用理他的
Oh really? At least bow and pay a tribute like in a funeral. 那…就随便扫墓那样鞠个躬就走啦
I resign myself to your guidance! 请多多指教！
Hello everybody, 大家好
this is Miss Yui Tatsumi. 这是辰巳唯小姐
Hello everyone, I'm Yui Tatsumi. 大家好，我是辰巳唯
I am here for your guidance. 请多多指教
Yui Tatsumi. F Cup. Former Race Queen. 辰巳唯，F Cup，前赛车女郎
Her nickname is "the Queen of Race Queen"! 绰号赛车皇后！
Feeling excited is understandable. 开心是好的
But if we don't start the shooting, 但是大家还傻逼的不开始
it won't be finished on time. 就拍不完了
It's actually quite dull. 原来也蛮闷的喔
Yeah, it's so boring. 对呀，还不是那几招
Cut! 停！
Miss Shodaiko, please translate for me. 鸠山，帮我翻译
Ok. 是
To be honest, 我就这么觉得呀
I think that the AV actor's performance is so-so. 这位男优刚做的都太一般了
He is so predictable. 完全能猜到男主角怎么做
Now that we have the final say, 现在我们作主嘛
I think he can try the hardest position right from the start. 我认为呢，一来就进主题，出绝招吧！
- Great idea! - The hardest position? What is it? 好呀！ 绝招？啥绝招呀？
Let's try... 试试人肉…
The Helicopter! 直升机！
Excuse me, 不好意思
The Helicopter... 直升机…
He can't do this one? Never mind. 不懂这招？没关系啦，那试试那个…
Let's try a 69 then? 铁鸡斗蜈蚣！
This one is not bad! 这招好呀！
Whatever you say, it's not possible. 说什么也好，都不可以
He can't do this either? So useless. 又不懂？这么逊！
Let's try something simpler then, The Pile Driver? 那简单一点，人肉打桩机！
Wait, wait a minute. What happens? 等等，发生什么事？
What is this? I can't do it if this continues. 怎么样，这样就做不下去了
- I understand. - Let's continue then. 我都明白 那就继续吧
They are the investors, just do whatever you feel like. 他们是投资者，照你意思做吧
They said that shagging is a progressive act. 他们说做爱要循序渐进呢
What? Have they lost their fucking mind? Progressive? 不是吧！还要循序渐进？
It's been like this for years. 看了几十年都是这样子
Your AVs should take a leap, no? 你们AV界要突破呀，对不对？
I say, we should it do like this, right? 依我说呢，我们应该这样做，对不对？
He says... 他说…
Are you looking down on me? 你看不起我呀
You guys know nothing about AV, shut the fuck up or leave! 你们根本不懂AV，不闭嘴就给我滚
What? We don't know AV? We are all professional audience! 什么不懂AV呀？我们全都是专业观众！
You dumbass, we have watched pirated AVs for decades! 神经病，看了几十年盗版AV
How many years have you been filming AVs? 我们不专业？你拍了多少年AV?
- Shut up! - Oh, I am so scared! 你闭嘴！ 我好怕喔我
Stop yapping, if you are so great, speak in Japanese. 你不停在这里说三道四，有种跟我说日语
Don't you have the least bit of work ethics? 你有没有专业道德呀？
Go film it yourselves, I quit! 你们自己拍下去，我不拍了！
What the fuck, how can he leave like that? 神经病，这就跑了那么不专业
So unprofessional! 还有道德吗？
What can we do now? 那怎么办？
Oh, the main actor is fucking gone! 跑掉了呢！
Let's have another guy! 换另一个男优啰
Let me make this clear, 我跟你们说
I am only the middleman, 我只是中间人
and I have already sold this AV's copyright, 这片子的版权已经卖了
if you can't deliver, you have to pay me back! 如果交不出片子，你们要赔钱给我的
What? That serious? 什么？这么严重？
You are so talented to be a traitor. 你不做汉奸真浪费了你
How do you know that she is not? 你怎知她不是？
Why doesn't one of you take up the role? 不如你们其中一个拍吧
She asked if one of you guys can take up the role. 她问你们可不可以派个人出来代拍？
Wow, it's actually in your advantage, 这次真便宜了你们
you cannot only see but fuck as well, 有得看，有得干
one stone two birds! 爽死你们唷！
You're crazy! 神经！
Why don't you take part as well! Fucking crazy! 你去拍吧！神经病！
You go! The Helicopter is your idea! 你去吧！直升机呀你！
Stop that, let's get someone quick. 别闹了，快找人来呀
Larry, I am so happy for you. 梁景，我真是很替你高兴
I've never thought... 我也想不到自己…
taking you here can favor you in this way. 带你来日本，还关照你这么好的差事
Let me go and buy you a Redbull and some condoms! 事不宜迟，我马上去替你买红牛和安全套
Hold on second... 慢着…
I frankly cannot do it. 其实我真他妈的不行呀
What the fuck! 操你妈呀！
A minute ago you were suggesting The Helicopter and such. 刚才又说这又说那的，又什么直升机
I really want to do it. 我也很想干呀
But my inner thigh has this birthmark, 但无奈我大腿内侧有块胎记
it's so recognizable! 很容易被认出的！
Don't be silly, everyone has a birthmark like this! 靠，胎记这东西都长差不多形状啦
That's right! 不就是！
But my birthmark is in a shape of Mickey Mouse, 真的很奇怪的，长的跟米老鼠一样的
I worry I would be sued by Disney if it's exposed in the film! 一进镜头，给人家告我侵权不就更糟？
You are so annoying. 你还真多藉口的
Wait a minute... 不…
What about him? Can you? 他不就行了 ！你啊！
What do you think? 你怎么看？
I can't either... 我不行呀
Why not? 为什么不行
Mine is curved. 我内弯
What curved? 啥米内弯？
Have you ever seen... 有没有见过
a twisted bamboo? 开运竹？
Hey, Tommy! 喂！阿达！
You are such a pervert, why don't you go? 你平常那么好色，你来吧！
I'm sorry, I have to confess... 对不起，我今天真的要跟大家坦白
that I'm actually a tomboy. 其实我是一个拉子
That's why I didn't remove my pants for the ablution. 所以那天洗澡，我没脱内裤
You can't be fucking serious! 去你妈的，不是吧？!
That's why you have boobs! 难怪你有胸！
If you guys don't settle this now, I will chop you all in pieces! 你们再不找人搞定他，找人砍死你们呀！
You motherfucker! 操你妈的！
Hey! Stop! Don't! 喂！不要呀！
The Japanese triad is real evil. 日本的黑社会很凶的
I know one of them, his little finger was chopped off... 我认识一个人呀，买错了香烟而已…
just because he bought the wrong brand of cigarettes! 给人砍了左手尾指呀！
What the fuck can we do now? 那现在怎么办呀？
Listen to me, 你们听我说一句
as a Chinese, 我们身为一个中国人
we have this golden opportunity to come to Japan, 难得有机会来到日本
and to use our bodies to justly "punish"... 可以合情合理的
a Japanese girl without holding back. 用身体来惩罚一个日本妹
Stop asking what our country has done for us, 你不要问国家为你们做了些什么
we should ask in return, 我们问自己
what have we done for our country? 曾几何时为国家付出一分力！
That's right! 没错！
Let's prove to Japanese girls... 我们要证明给日本妹知道
we Chinese aren't the Sick man of Asia! 我们中国人不是东亚病夫！
- Diaoyu Islands are ours! - Diaoyu Islands are ours! 钓鱼台是我们的！ 钓鱼台是我们的！
That's right! Yui Tatsumi is ours too! 没错！辰巳唯也是我们的！
Ours... 我们的…
Great! 好！
I'm really happy. 我很开心
It seems that we have reached a consensus. 看来大家都已经有答案了
So, who will be the Lucky Boy tonight? 那请问，哪位想成为今晚的幸运儿呢？
You! 你！
Ha, you silly boys! 靠，傻猪呀！
Hello. 你好
Yes. 是
Thank you. 谢谢
Yes. 是
Take her clothes off, you fucking moron! 快脱她衣服呀，你妈的！
Yes, yes, I'm doing it now! 脱啦，现在不就脱啦！
Hurry up! Are you making a stew? 快点啦，熬汤呀？
Why don't you do it? 你来呀！
Excuse me. 不好意思
No! Stop it, no! 不要呀！不要呀！ 不要…
Don't worry. 没关系
No! 不要呀！
Can you just let me go? 你放我走吧好不好
I will pay you anyway! 我赔钱给你吧！
Take the top off... 脱衣服…
Take his pants off... 脱裤子…
Don't... 不要呀…
It's in! 进去了！
It's in again! 又进去了！
What's this? 啥东西？
She is gushing! 潮吹唷！
You guys are the worst! 你们很坏的
Forcing me into all this! 要人家拍这些东西
He is so cute and funny. 他好可爱，好搞笑呢
Before I met Ozawa-san, 未遇上小泽之前
I didn't know women can actually take the lead. 我从来都不知道女人可以做主动
I am a bit stirred but feel so happy. 非常开心，但是又有点激动
I feel so sorry for you, 我觉得你在这戏里面
as you look so miserable in the film, 真是好惨呀
it gives me tears when I watch it. 我看得泪汪汪呢
Do you think that it can be pixelated more? 你觉得可不可以多打点马赛克？
Excuse me... 不好意思
Yes! 是！
This...mosaic effect, ok? 那个…打马赛克，可以吗？
Ok, ok! No problem! 好的好的，可以
Thank you. 谢谢你
Hey man! 喂！老兄呀！
What's wrong with you? The mosaic effect... 你不是这样吧，那马赛克…
is see-through! Can you make it more blurred? 比牛油纸还薄呢，打厚一点行不行？
Can you also not just focus on my dick? 还有你不要只打在我那话儿
Put a mosaic on my face as well! 脸孔也要打，打在脸上
No... 不对…
The whole face...Put it on the whole body! 整张脸…整个人全打了
Um...ok, ok! 这样…好的，好的
You know what, blur the whole picture! 也不对，整个画面全打了
Don't you worry, 你真妈的不用担心
If you remove your glasses, 你摘下眼镜
no one would recognize you. 没人认得你的
Try now. 你试试摘下眼镜
Who are you? 你是谁呀？
You don't have to do this, I'm not an idiot! 你别这样啦，你真的以为我是低能呀？
Before all this, I thought... 我最初以为…
it's really stressful for women to take off their clothes, 女人脱衣服真的很大压力
but now I realize it's worse for men. 但是原来男人脱衣服更大压力
Let's not talk about me. 算了，别说我了
What about you? Simon told me... 对了，老袁说你呢
you are from Hong Kong, 是香港过来的
shouldn't you have a Chinese name? 你没理由没中文名字吧
Or your family name is really Hato as in Hatoyama? 难道你真的姓鸠？
It's been so long. 这么久了
I don't fucking remember. 他妈的忘记了
So... 就是说…
it's a secret. 有不可告人的秘密了
Actually I stay in Japan... 其实我留在日本
for a fucking romantic reason. 是有一个他妈浪漫的原因呢
I have been waiting for someone. 我在等一个人
Why don't you ask who I'm waiting for? 你不问我在等谁？
I don't on purpose... 没有，我就不问
so that you would shut up! 让你无法说下去嘛
I feel like I was in a dream, and now that I wake up, 我觉得好像发了一场梦一样
my life with AV has come to an end. 我以为我的人生从此就跟AV画上句号
Who knows... 殊不知
it's just the beginning. 原来只是刚刚开始
Let's put it beside Sex Pistols. “Sex Pistols”吧
Ming, yes? 怎样啦，阿铭？
Wyman, you are freaking awesome! 陈伟文，你太牛逼啦！
Everyone "likes" that video on the forum. 论坛上那条片，全世界都点赞喔！
What video? 啥片呀？
Stop pretending! 还装蒜？
You can't be serious... 不是吧？
That adult video, "The Innocent Man"! 那条AV片，“无垢男”呀！
Everyone is crazy forwarding, the link can't even load now. 现在连结也打不开，大家都在疯狂转发？
Who is that girl? 那女的叫什么？
Yui Tatsumi? Wow, she is hot! 辰巳唯？哗，也蛮正的！
Go to Japan... 去日本…
It's on the forum of "Family Kingdom"? 亲子皇国也有？
Any many other sites as well? 那么多网站都有？
Sis, that's not me! 阿姐，那个不是我！
No! 不是喇！
Mom, that's not me, Mom! 妈，那人不是我呀，妈！
Yes, Cecilia? 怎么啦，丝？
Wyman Chan, turn on the TV to the News Channel, NOW! 陈伟文，你马上给我打开电视新闻台
Why? 为什么呢？
Recently there's been an AV circulating on the internet, 最近网上流传一条AV影片
the main actor in this video is rumoured to be a Hong Konger. 据说男主角，是一个香港人
Since the release of the video, 而影片流出之后
it has already got a million hits a day... 香港网上一天的点击率
around all the sites in Hong Kong, 已经破了纪录
and the same goes in Taiwan and Southeast Asia. 听说台湾和东南亚都一样
And the most unexpected thing is, 而最令人意外的是
this video... 这段影片
has caused a national uproar in Japan! 在日本竟然掀起了热潮
Now let's talk to Carrie, 现在让我们驻日本的记者
our correspondent in Tokyo. 文嘉仪为大家报导
Since its release, 自从影片在互联网传出
it has swept across the internet in Japan. 后刮起了一阵旋风
Recently he has also beaten all the Japanese idols, 最近日本人气女性杂志
and is voted No. 1 by the readers... 读者票选出最想一夜情的男人
of a popular Japanese female magazine... 这名香港男子更首度击败日本人气偶像
as the "Man of One Night Stand". 成为第一名
Since I have watched this video, 自从看了这条片之后
I dream of him every night, 我每晚都会梦见他
my husband is already complaining! 我老公已经吃我不消了
I think he's really cute, 我觉得他好可爱
In the past, men always conquer women fiercely in AVs, 以前的AV都是男人粗暴地征服女人
but now the roles have been switched. 现在角色调转
I really enjoyed watching it! 我看得很过瘾
As it swapped the roles of men and women in traditional AVs, 是因为他将传统AV的男女角色互换了
this releases the suppression in women... 令一直觉得被AV轻视的女性
who feel that they have been looked down in AVs. 内心的压抑突然被释放
Recently Japanese AV companies 据说日本的成人电影公司
have got countless calls, 最近收到很多电话
regarding the true identity of this man. 大家都很想知道这名男子的真正身份
There is also a headhunt campaign launched on the internet. 而网上也有人发起搜索行动
It is believed that the identity of this man will soon be exposed. 相信这名男子的身份很快会曝光
CSC News, from Carrie here in Tokyo reports. 无视新闻，文嘉仪在东京的报道
I'm so sorry, this is really an accident! 对不起，这次真的是意外呀
I won't do it again! 我以后不敢了
It's really not on purpose! I was forced! 我不是故意的，我是被迫的！
Cecilia, please don't go! 阿丝，你别走呀！
If you go, I die right in front of you! 你走，我就死给你看！
Hold on! 等等！
Stop there! 等等！
Do you recognize me? 你认不认得我呀？
How can I not? 我怎么会不认得你
You are that Shodaiko from Japan! 你就是日本那个鸠山呀
Yes! Why are you so fucking silly and commit suicide? 对呀！为啥你要自杀那么傻逼呢？
You're right! 对了
Why do I have to fucking commit suicide? 为啥我要自杀那么傻逼呢？
If I want to die, 如果我要死…
I should kill you first! 我都先杀了你呀！
You bitch! 你这混蛋！
Those fake mosaics have ruined my life! 那些马赛克呀，害死我呀！
I have lost everything! 我现在家破人亡了！
You should have thanked those mosaics! 你应该感谢那些马赛克才对
Now you are a big hit! 你现在真火了
All the AV production companies are looking for you! 全日本的AV公司都在找你呀
They said that you are one of those... 他们说你是…
Impressionism AV Actors, “现象派男优”
all the girls are turned on by you! 是女人看到你都兴奋呢
Really? 真的？
Really! Has anybody told you that you look like Tony Leung? 真的！有没有说你好像梁朝伟？
To be honest, 其实呢
you have no life in Hong Kong now. 你在香港，不死也没啥用了
Why don't you come with me and make some big bucks in Japan. 不如你跟我去日本，赚日圆
All the women in Japan are longing to see your body. 全日本的女人都等着看你的身体呢
Why don't you earn some more before going to die? 人总有一死，不如把钱赚了才死呀
Is my body really that sought after? 真的那么多人想看我的身体？
Really! 是呀
I wanna see it right now! 我现在就想看了
But... 可是…
I guarantee, 我保证
you will be the most popular AV actor in Japan. 你会成为全日本系最红的AV男优
Please accept my invitation, 请你接受我的邀请，和我合作
and let me be your agent! 让我做你经纪人吧！
The legendary Hong Kong man 传说中香港男子
now officially... 正式以艺名“小泽马利奥”…
enters Japan as "Mario Ozawa"! 进军日本！
Mario... 马利奥…
From now on, this is your home in Tokyo! 以后在东京呢，你就住这里了
Aren't the apartments in Tokyo tiny? 不是东京的房子很小吗？
This one is huge! 这里这么大呀？
It has to match with the size of your dick! 你那话儿大嘛
You're right! 也对喔！
You don't have to do this, 不用收拾啦
I don't masturbate! 我不打飞机的
These are your homework! 这些是你的功课
That means the more I watch, the better I perform? 就是说多看多吸收，就做得好点吗？
- Correct! - You're right. 对呀！ 不过也对啊
I was forced last time, that's why I could perform, 我想我上次是被迫才做得到
but if there are too many people on the set, 可是呢，那么多人在现场
I worry there would be a problem. 自愿我真怕自己做不来呀！
Don't worry, 不用怕
there will be so many veterans on the set. 到时候有很多大师傅在场
You wouldn't be one of them? 不会是你吧？
No, I don't teach others! 我不教人的
Harder, it's "Mooto". 用力点，就是“摸多”～
Mootooo. “摸多”～
Let's come together, it's "Iku". 一起来吧，就是“易咕”～
Ikuuu. “易咕”～
It feels great, it's "Kimochi". 好舒服呢，就是“奇摸鸡”～
Kimochiii. “奇摸鸡”～
Correct. 对
But the three reactions seem the same? 可是你三个反应都一样的？
No, they are completely different! 它们是完全不同的
Oh really? 是吗？
Do you need to teach me some Japanese then? 那你要不要教我一点日文呢？
In Japan, the most useful phrases are... 日本呢，最重要呢
Haizara, 就是“嗨渣拿”
Chuunama “超那妈”
and "Cyu-hai". 和“猪-嗨”
Haizara is ashtray, “嗨渣拿”就是烟灰盅啦
what about "Chuunama"? 但“超那妈”是…
Chuunama is beer. “超那妈”是啤酒啰
Then what is "Cyu-hai"? 那谁是“猪-嗨”呀？
Cyu-hai is liquor with hot water. “猪-嗨”是烧酒加滚水
Cyu-hai, sounds like a pig's vagina, it's a drink? “猪-嗨”也有人喝呀？
Yes, it's a popular drink! 很受欢迎呢！
Before the shooting, 在你正式拍AV之前
I have arranged you to go and learn from a master, 我安排了你拜一位高人为师，向他学习
so as to boost your sex skills! 增强床上的战斗力
"Goldfinger."
Taka Kato the Goldfinger! 加藤鹰神之手？
Kato-san, 加藤先生
please take me under you, 请你收我为徒
and teach me everything! 传授我绝世神功呀！
What just happened? 发生了什么事呀？
Look. 你看看
The fly on the floor... 地上有只苍蝇…
just died of an orgasm given by my fingers. 刚被我搞到潮吹而死
No kidding! 不是吧！
Rest in peace! 你安息吧！
Master, what are you doing? 师傅，你在干吗？
The sea in 20km west-southwest from here is gushing, 离这里西南偏西20公里的大海已经潮吹
the shore is getting so wet. 波涛汹涌
Really? 真的？
Harder! 用力点！
Yes! 是！
Faster! 快点！
Yes! 是！
No dinner for you if you can't dig out potatoes before sunset! 黄昏前挖不到蕃薯，今晚没饭吃！
Yes Master! 是！
Drink up while it's fresh! 趁新鲜喝了它
Ok. 是
In Chinese tradition, 其实我们中国人的传统
the best thing is reserved for the Master 最好的东西都是留给师傅的
It's a great tradition. 很好的传统
Go! 去吧！
Mario Ozawa! 小泽马利奥！
You will succeed! 你一定会成功！
Go and open up the world of AV! 为AV开创新的天地啦！
Go! 去吧！
These people look so dodgy, 这些家伙奇形怪状的
are they AV actors too? 也是男优呀？
They are actually called "Juice-up Boys", 他们叫做“汁男”
the ejaculation back-ups for the real AV actors. 专门替那些男优射精
When the main actor is not be able to or ejaculate too early, 有时那些男优射不出来，或者早泄
we have to count on them. 就得靠他们了
During the shooting, 拍AV的时候，拍射精近镜
it's actually not the real actors in the close-ups, it's them. 其实不是那些男优，是他们来的
Oh, I see. 是这样喔！
Like in action movies, there are doubles for the real stars. 就好像那些武打巨星摔地的镜头就找替身
They are paid per ejaculation, 他们射一次，就收一次钱
so it's better to keep it hard all the time. 所以不能软下来呀
But how do they count? 那怎么知道射了多少次？
Every time they did it, 他们射一次
a rubber band is added on their wrist. 手就圈一条橡皮筋
Since they haven't jerked off yet, 所以他现在也未射
they don't have any now. 就没有橡皮筋了
Excuse me! I'm so sorry! 不好意思，不好意思！
Hey bro! What is this? 兄弟，你想怎样呀？
I'm so sorry! 不好意思！
This is called "Premature Ejaculation". 这个学名叫“早泄”
What kind of drink is he making? 在调什么饮料呀？
Is it a men's drink for the actors? 让我们要来补身的？
This is fake semen. 这些是假精液
It's made of banana juice, 他用一点香蕉汁
condensed milk and three drops of coffee. 然后加回练乳，再加三滴咖啡
It looks just like the real thing. 真他妈的像
Do you want to have a sip? 要不要试喝一点？
No thanks, but it does look real. 也真的蛮像的，喝就不要了
If we already have "Juice-up Boys", 可是，为啥有汁男
why do we use these? 又用假精液呢？
Because sometimes we need to take a shot of the shooting 因为有时候要拍AV男优射精
but the actors may not be able to...So we... 他射不出来，那我们呢…
hold this... 拿着…
We give them a pipe. 我们就装一条喉管
Put it close to your dick, like this? 就是放在那话儿下面？
Yes. 对呀！
But then how to make it shoot? 那怎么射呢？
Look here we have a pump, 有个泵呀，一压
you pump it and it can shoot so far. 会射好远的呢
It's real smart! 也真聪明！
That's why when there is 难怪我看那些AV女优
a mouth or face shot in AVs, 有时候口爆、颜射那些
the girls swallow at ease, 吞得那么过瘾啦
that's because of the banana juice. 原来有香蕉汁
Is the one there Aso Nozomi? 那个不是麻生希吗？
Yes, you are working with her today! 是呀，今天你和她拍呀
Are you kidding me? 不是吧？
It gives me so much pressure! 好大压力喔！
Miss Aso, 麻生希小姐
it's Mario's first official AV shooting today, 小泽马利奥今天第一次正式拍AV
please give him some guidance. 请麻生小姐指教指教
Please look after me. 请多多指教
You are welcome. 不用客气
I have seen the work of Ozawa-san before, 之前已经看过小泽先生的作品
I think you are really cute. 觉得你真的好可爱
May I know which part of your body 不知道小泽先生身体
is the most sensitive? 最敏感的部位是哪里呢？
She asked where your G-spot is. 她问你最敏感是哪里呢？
Everywhere! 全身嘛！
The whole body! 全身！
Ozawa-san really has a great sense of humor. 小泽先生真的好风趣
I love man with a great sense of humor. 我最喜欢风趣的男人了
Ear. 耳朵
Nipple. 乳头
Please don't... 不要…
Don't... 不要…
Sir... 老师…
Please don't, Sir... 老师不要…
No... 不要…
Sir... 老师…
No... 不要…
Remember, you have to give in after just a little bit of struggle, 记住，挣扎一会儿就要放弃
that shows you starting to want it. 因为你已经开始想要
If you struggle for too long, it would annoy the audience. 挣扎太久观众会不耐烦
The trick is to... 总之奥义就是…
say "no" three times, then give in. “三下反抗，一下迎合”
Do you understand? 明白吗？
There is also something you must bear in mind, 有一点不能忘记
Impossible does not exist between two people. 两人之间绝对没有“不可能”
Understood. 是这样的
Thank you very much! 谢谢您！
"A Dazzling Debut - "Come for a Body Checkup, Mario""
I have to bang him. 我一定要跟他来一炮
Which grade are you in? 读几年级呀？
Grade 7. 中一
Grade 7 in this age? 这把年纪不就是留了很多年级！
He must be fucking stupid! 一定是他妈的蠢货！
Ozawa-kun! 小泽同学
Yes! 是！
Ozawa-kun, 小泽同学
it's time for your body check-up. 到你检查身体
Good morning, doctor! 医生你好！
How old are you? 今年几岁？
十三
Undress, then lie down. 上床，脱衣服
Yes. 是
Madame, what are you doing? 老师，你做什么？
I am just checking the reflex of your nipple, 我在替你检查乳头的反应
it's normal. 是正常的
Now I've to check your willy to see if it's to the left or the right. 我还要看看你小弟弟是偏左，还是偏右
What do you see that I'm doing? 你现在看到我做什么？
Undressing. 脱衣服
Your eyes have a defect. 你眼睛有问题
You are hallucinating... 出现幻觉
Madame, what are you doing? 老师，你干嘛呀？
I'm so scared! 我好怕怕呀！
Please don't! 不要…
Don't! 不要…
You've grown well, 发育得相当完整
it's longer than the tape measure. 比间尺还长
Don't... 不要…
Madame, no... 老师不要…
Ozawa-kun, 小泽同学
what you are going to see and do, 以下你看到的，和你做的
they are all hallucinations. 全部都是幻觉
Madame, it feels great... 老师，舒服…
I'm coming! 要来了…
Let's come together! 一起来吧
Thank you very much, Madame! 谢谢老师！
Cut! 停！
Ok! Well done! 好！做得好！
Thank you. 谢谢你
Are you happy? 是不是很开心？
Very happy. 很开心
Do you mind handing me a tissue, it's leaking. 介不介意替我拿张卫生纸？流出来了！
Tissue! 卫生纸！
Mario... 马利奥…
Hello! 你好！
Mario? 马利奥？
No, I'm obviously Nick Cheung! 不是，我很明显是张家辉啦！
You are really Mario! 真是马利奥！
I love you! 我爱你！
No! 不要！
I have the say of which AV actress can work with Mario. 和马利奥合作的女优由我挑选
Yes, of course. 是的，当然是
It's for you, boss. 社长，电话
This one... 这个…
Hello? 喂？
"Pervettes in Train - The Ultimate Push of Okita's L-cup"
Wait a minute... 等等…
These here... 那个…
which cup are they? 是多大个cup呢？
L-cup! L-cup !
L-cup? L-cup ?
A, B, C, D, E, F, G A、B、C、D、E、F、G
H, I, J, K, L H、I、J、K、L
Wow, that's fucking huge! 操你妈的，真他妈的巨大！
No... 不要…
Help! 救命呀！
You have nowhere to go now, 你逃不掉了
why don't you just give in. 还是乖乖就范吧
Let me have you first, then you satisfy all the ladies here. 给我玩完，再满足这里所有女人
No... 不要…
Help, somebody helps me! 救命，救我呀
I can't just die here. 我不可以就这样死在这里的
I have to think, 我要想办法
I have to counterattack you with my imagination! 我要用幻想对抗你的呢！
Ok! Cut! 好！停机！
- Thank you for your hard work! - Thank you! 辛苦了！ 辛苦了！
Cecilia, I thought you wouldn't pick up my call. 阿丝，我以为你不再听我电话了
Have you received all the handbags that I sent you? 你有没有收到我送给你的包包？
Yes. 收到啦
I thought you are still angry with me. 我以为你会生我气
To be honest, I have accepted the reality. 其实呢，我也接受现实了
In today's world, money speaks louder than words, 现在这个世界也是笑贫不笑娼
you don't have to care about what other people think. 你也不用太介怀人家怎么看你的
I haven't, 我没有呀
the only one that I care about is you. 我只介意你怎么看我
I have already told you I don't mind! 人家都说不介意了
I have to go now and blow dry my hair. 我不说了，要把头发吹干
Let's talk later, bye bye! 再跟你说吧，拜拜
Your motherfucker! 我操你呀！
Where the hell have you been? 你死去哪里啦？
You have taken all my money... 他妈的把我的钱都拿了
and left me with your debts! 还留下一笔高利贷给我！
Yes, I'm a motherfucker, 是我混蛋
slap me, hit me! 你打死我吧！
Fuck you... 操你…
Now you are so rich, 你现在那么有钱
you have created this Mario Ozawa, 捧红了那个小泽马利奥
why didn't you do the same for me? 又不见你捧我？
You don't love me anymore. 你已经不爱我了
I can't stand that you fuck another woman. 我不可以忍受你和别的女人上床的
I love you all the same even you are not famous. 无论你怎样，我都那么爱你的
Prove it then. 那你证明呀
Let me dig in. 我不客气了
Sorry! Excuse me! 对不起…不好意思…
Thank you! 谢谢！
Excuse me...Sorry... 不好意思…对不起…
This dude is really rich! 有钱人喔！
Catch that fucking bastard, 替我捉住那混蛋
don't let him go! 妈的别给他走！
Which bastard? 哪个混蛋？
That's me! 我不就是混蛋啰！
This one? 这个？
Yes, he is right next to you! 对呀，你旁边那个呀！
I am so fucking stupid! 我真他妈的傻逼蠢货！
I knew that's a set-up, 我明知道哥儿是骗我的
but I let him bed me once more! 我都给他再来一炮
Do you know where he hurts me the most? 你知不知道他刺得我最痛的是哪里？
My heart! 是心呀！
Back when I was first sold to Japan, 我以前给日本仔骗我来日本
I worked in the Red Light District as a hooker. 在歌舞伎町呀，做风俗娘呢！
A hooker? You? 你做风俗娘？
Giving massages, hand jobs, blowjobs, everything! 帮人家马杀鸡，推油呀、出火呀
I was doing such a great job! 我很厉害耶
I earned 30,000 yen every 90 minutes. 九十分钟赚三万日圆？
Later Hiroya fell in love with me, 后来广也哥儿爱上了我
I let him have the whole package, 我不就给他放题啰
because he was not only my customer but also my lover, 他是我的客人嘛，又那么爱我
so I didn't charge him anything. 我就不收他钱啰
That motherfucker has cheated all my money 他妈的把我的钱都骗光了
and left me with his debts. 还丢下一笔高利贷给我
Men are all the same. 所有男人都是这样骗女人的
If a man says he loves you at the first sight, 总之一个男人一看见你，就说很喜欢你
he is a fucking liar! 他就是他妈的在骗你
But I thought, 我反过来想的
when you say you don't like me, you actually do. 我以为你说不喜欢我，是喜欢我呢
Do you like me? 那你喜不喜欢我？
I don't like to lie. 我从来不骗人的
Love tires me out! 爱情真是他妈的累人
Hiroya! My love... 哥儿哥儿哥儿哥…
Are you okay? 你怎么了？
Don't pass out! 你不是那么笨吧？
Oh, fuck! 唉，糟了！
Why my legs are not moving, 为什么我的脚不用走
but I'm moving forward? 它也走着呢？
The beer you just had is a new invention. 你刚才喝的啤酒，是新发明
It gives you wings! 喝了会飞的
Don't treat me like a fucking idiot! 你当我傻逼！
You are carrying me on your back. 你在背着我嘛！
Thank you! 谢谢你
How can you be so stupid and heavy at the same time. 又会这么蠢也这么重的
Yes, that's right. Okay. 对，可以了
Thank you. 谢谢你
Yes. 是！
Wow, you are so handsome! 哗！很帅呀！
Really, which part? 有多帅呢？
Your side parting, it's great! 你侧面的分界真是一绝呀
Really? 是吗？
May I know 那我想问问你
what are we shooting today with this outfit? 这一身造型是拍什么戏呢？
- Today you are Ming the Merciless. - I see. 今天是拍你做宇宙大王 这样…
- You will be captured by Sailor Moon. - Oh, I see... 给美少女战士捉走了 是这样的…
- First raped then killed... - Yes. 先奸后杀 是
And then raped again. 杀完再奸
Raping over my dead body? That's a great idea. 死了也继续奸，好点子
Who will be Sailor Moon? 那谁做美少女呀？
Noriko Waiyama. She is a newbie. 淮山杞子呀，新人来的
Would her agent be... 那她经纪人会不会叫…
Kishihisa Nemoto? “根本刁斯”呢？
Hello! 你好！
Hello... 你好…
It's first time for Noriko, 杞子她是第一次拍AV
Ozawa-san, please look after her. 请小泽先生多多指教
Come here, Noriko! 来吧，杞子！
Hi, nice to meet you. 你好，多多指教
I will be in your care. 请多多指教
Her agent seems really fucking stupid. 经纪人相当屌丝
Just like me! 好像我那么屌丝呀！
She is so cute! 她很可爱呢！
No... 不要…
Please don't... 不要…
You... 大…
You Big Evil... 大魔王…
You've sinned and tainted your hands with innocents' blood... 你滥杀无辜，罪恶满刑…
die... now. 受死啦…
Oh, yes. 对！
Please don't rape me, 你不要奸我
you can kill me, 你可以杀我
but please don't touch my willy! 可是你千万别搞我的小弟弟
It is my weakest point. 这是我的死穴
But now I'm in your hands, 不过你捉了我…
just do whatever you want! 我任你处置吧，来吧！
I will humiliate you... 我要你…死前…
in every way before killing... you. 受尽屈辱
No... 不要…
Noriko, you can't be like that! 淮山，你不可以这样的！
- It's okay! - Wait! Noriko! 没关系 淮山，等等…
Let me handle it! 我去搞定她
So sorry! I am really sorry! 很抱歉，真的非常抱歉！
I mean no harm. 我没有恶意的
I know how stressful it is... AV有多大压力
to make AVs. 我很清楚
I don't really like to do it, 我都不太喜欢拍AV的
and so do you it seems. 不过看来也不适合你
You can go! 你走吧！
Is my Japanese that bad? 是不是我的日文太烂呀？
Do you understand? 明白吗？
I have signed this contract with my agency, 可是我和经纪人签了合约
they wouldn't let me go. 毁约要赔很多钱的
Don't you worry, 没问题
I have money. 我有钱
Okay! 行了！
Goodbye... 再见…
Go now! 走吧！
Ozawa-san, 小泽先生
if it's with you, I think I can do it. 我觉得跟你拍，我可以的
But can you do me a favor? 不过小泽先生可不可以帮我一个忙？
What is it? 什么忙？
Before the shooting, 就是拍AV之前
can you go out with me? 请小泽先生和我拍拖
If you can make me feel loved, 给我一些恋爱的感觉
I'm sure I can perform well. 那样我一定会拍很好的
Tuna sushi? 鲔鱼腩寿司？
Is tuna okay for you? 鲔鱼腩，可以吗？
Yes, I love it. 很喜欢
Was the dinner alright? 晚饭可以吗？
Yes. 可以呀
But let's get changed next time, 但是下次先换衣服
the way we dress is so weird. 我们这身打扮比较怪
Yes, I feel so too. 我也这样觉得
It must be Shodaiko returning my clothes. 一定是鸠山把衣服拿回来
Look, 那…
we are both decently dressed, 就是说我们穿得那么光鲜
and so tidy. 而且又那么整齐
That means nothing has happened! 就是没事啦！
Have I ever said that you did? 我有说你有做过吗？
Feeling guilty? 心虚啊？
Not exactly. 也不是心虚
But you really... 只是三个字…
caught me off guard. 措手不及
Hong Kong girlfriend. 香港女朋友
Oh, I have to go now, 那我先走了
see you tomorrow. 明天见
You see, we were just off work, 我们刚刚收工嘛
and then she... 然后她…
Fuck me! 操我呀！
I want you to fuck me like those girls you fucked in AVs. 我要你像在AV？操那些女人一样的操我！
No, I really can't! 不要呀！
I shot 4 scenes today, I am so knackered! 我今天拍了四场戏，我做不到了
You don't have a choice! 不许不要！
You Big Evil, I won't forgive you! 宇宙大魔王，我不会放过你
Don't go! 别走！
Stop! 别走！
Wait... 等等…
Even it's just for today, 就算只得一天
I have to have the entire you. 我也要完全拥有你
At this moment, 这一刻
I can deeply feel that how jealousy... 我深深体会到原来妒忌心
can change a woman, 可以将一个女人改变
and push her that far. 将一个女人推得那么尽
This time is the first ever AV shooting that... 这一次，是我拍AV以来
I can feel there is love. 第一次有爱情的感觉
Hello? 喂？
Hi, Cecilia, where are you now? 席梦丝，你现在在哪？
I am in Japan, just came back from shopping. 我在日本旅行呀，刚刚去了血拚呀
Shopping? 血拚？
The fact that your boyfriend is Mario Ozawa has been exposed, 你男友是小泽马利奥的事被爆料了
now the Mainland publisher has problem with your image, 现在大陆出版社说你形象有问题
stops publishing your books, 暂停出版你的书
and terminates your projects with them! 还喊停了你进入大陆市场的计划
"You Have Your Say"
Hello and welcome to "You have your say". 欢迎大家收看“理有理讲”
In this episode, we have invited two guests 这集我们请来两位嘉宾
to discuss a very hot topic. 讨论一个非常热门的话题
First to my left is... 首先，在我身旁的是…
the President of Moral... Moral Adjust, 道德调整…道德调理整…理会会长
a veteran of AV, 兼资深AV人
and also the Honorary President of HK Schizophrenia Association. 兼香港精神分裂协会荣誉会长
He is the well-known "Fat Face Dragon"... 人称“玉面飞龙”的…
Mr. Fucking Mo! 毛胶卫先生
It's Mr. Frankie Mo! 是毛高卫！
I beg your pardon. Mr. Fucking Mo. 不好意思，毛胶卫先生
Another guest of honor is our best-selling romance novelist 另外一位就是我们的纯爱小说女王
Miss Cecilia Jik. 席梦丝小姐
What we are going to discuss today, 和我们讨论一下一个热门话题
it's the oddity of this Hong Kong man, 就是有一位香港男人
who went to Japan to be an AV actor, 无缘无故的走去日本当AV男优
and became popular by sexually humiliated by women. 被女人淫辱而走红的奇怪现象
Mr. Mo, what do you think? 毛先生，你怎么看？
I must deeply 我必须大力谴责
condemn this Mario Ozawa, 这个化名为小泽马利奥的男人
he is unforgivable and a disgrace to all Hong Kong men! 他简直丧尽天良，丢尽香港男人的脸子
Do you know... 你们知道吗？
After watched his AVs, 看了他AV的男人
40% of men has become impotent, 起码有四成是从此不举的
30% could only get it up but not put it back down; 有三成就是举了起来，软不下来
and 20% felt guilty... 有两成就是鬼鬼祟祟地举
to have an up and down. 鬼鬼祟祟地软下来
What's worse are those special cases, 还有一些特例
men who spat milk like a baby... 有少数分子看了AV之后
right after watching! 居然吐奶！
- It does sound very dangerous! - Of course! 这可真是好危险喔！ 当然啦！
What do you think, Miss Jik? 那席梦丝小姐，你有怎么看呢？
Here we have a tabloid magazine, 最近有一本周刊爆料
saying that you are the girlfriend of Mario Ozawa. 说你和这个小泽马利奥是闺密喔！
Here, I have to make a declaration: 我要发出严正声明
There is nothing between Mario Ozawa and me now. 我和这个小泽马利奥已经没有任何关系
What he does is shameful, 我之所以和他划清界线
that's why I cut ties with him. 是因为他的所作所为
I despise him! 令我极度讨厌、非常羞耻！
We now have a viewer calling in to express his opinions. 好，现在有家庭观众打电话来表达意见
Here, the line is put through, please go ahead. 是，电话已经接通了，请说
Miss To, Can you tell Miss Jik, 杜小姐，麻烦你，和席梦丝说
that everyone here can say what she just said... 这里在座的每个人都可以说我…
Yes... 是
But you can't! 就你不可以！
Wow! Mario Ozawa! 小泽马利奥呀！
Look everyone, either from your TV or with us here! 各位家庭观众、现场观众…
It's Mario Ozawa! He's here in the studio! 小泽马利奥呀！来了我们的节目呀！
Wow, I suddenly feel like to spit some milk! 我有一点点想吐奶呀！
I am begging you! Stop hurting me! 我求求你了！你不要再伤害我了！
That's right, or may be just a little... 对呀，伤害都轻力点…
Who told me... 是谁说的…
that money speaks louder than words, 是谁说的做什么也不要紧
and I don't need to care about... 笑贪不笑娼
what others say if I'm rich? 最要紧是赚到钱呀？
But do you know what you did has cost me a fortune? 那你知不知道你现在害我大陆不可以出书
I have lost the multi-billion market in the Mainland! 我没了十几亿的市场呀？
Oh I see. That's the reason why we broke up. 这就是我们分手的原因是吧？
Thanks a lot, I got it... 谢谢你，我明白了…
I don't have a market in Mainland either, am I dying? 我也没有大陆市场，我也没饿死
Wait! 你别走
Go fuck yourself! 你去死吧！
Wow, it's getting really exciting! 哗，好精彩呀！
Just now Miss Jik and Mr. Ozawa have both given their words. 刚才公说公有理，婆说婆有理
Mr. Mo, you have just witnessed this epic moment, 毛先生，你见证了这个历史时刻
which side would you take? 你会站在哪一边呢？
I feel a bit sad. 我有少少伤感
Haruki Murakami once said, 村上春树说过
if he is caught in between a high wall and an egg, 如果一面高墙和一只鸡蛋中间
he will definitely choose the egg. 他一定站在鸡蛋那边
As a man... 作为一个男人
if I'm caught in between a pair of high heels... 在女人的高跟鞋
and a pair of balls, 和蛋蛋中间
I will definitely choose the balls. 我一定站在蛋蛋那边
Unfortunately, 可惜呀
it seems that his balls have been cracked, 他的蛋蛋似乎已经给人踢爆了
poor thing... 可怜…
This kick from Cecilia... 阿丝这一脚
has put me in hospital for a few days. 我住了几天医院
Even though the doctor said my dick is fine, 虽然医生说我小弟弟没什么事
I have decided... 可是我都决定了…
to quit the AV world. 退出AV界
I want to say... 我想说…
I don't want to be Mario Ozawa anymore. 我不想再做小泽马利奥了
I think Ozawa should retire, 小泽是时候退休
and goes to a place that no one would know him! 去一个完全没人认识的地方！
Where can you find a place that no one knows you? 他妈的哪有没人认识你的地方呢？
I have just sold your AVs to South America and Eastern Europe, 我刚刚把你的AV卖去了南美和东欧
Unless you go to Africa. 除非你去非洲吧
Can you not be like that? 你不要这样好不好？
Haven't you already made so much money with my body? 你已经在我身上赚了很多钱，对不对？
I don't care, just give back my share 总之我这阵子赚的钱
after your commission. 你抽了佣金后还给我
I have to go. 我要走了
Have you ever thought about me? 你他妈的有没有想过你走了我怎么办？
We have signed so many contracts, 合约我都签了
I have to pay them back! 赔死我呀
Dada Chan did the same, what's the big deal? 那陈静不也一样？怎样了？
No matter you give me back my share or not, 你还不还给我也好，你怎样算都好
I really have to go. Please... 我决定要走了，好不好？
Goodbye. 再见
Mario Ozawa! 小泽马利奥！
These are all yours! 全都是你的！
Don't ever come back, 妈的别再回来
and enjoy your life. 好好的过生活
What about you? 那你有什么打算？
I've thought about it, 我想过了
I don't want you to do it unhappily. 我不想你不开心的做下去
Just go. 你走吧
Good evening, Hatoyama-san. 你好呀，鸠山小姐
You still have some unpaid debts! 你这两期的贷款还未还呢
I don't fucking understand you. 我不知道你说什么
If I don't see money in two days, 两天后不还钱
I'll make you a cripple! 打断你的脚！
Let's go! 走吧
Let's go. 走吧
Are you okay? 没事吧？
Yeah, I'm fine. 我没事呀！
Do I not look okay? 你看我像有事吗？
Go now, 你走啦
goodbye! 再见！
What do you fucking want now? 你他妈的又想怎样呀？
Take you to the hospital, 想和你去医院
then give the money back, okay? 然后还钱给人家，好不好？
I, Mario Ozawa, am back to business! 小泽马利奥要复出了！
Are you dying? 死了没有？
Not yet... 还未…
Where is the nearest hospital? 最近的医院在哪里？
Let's go to the Princess Magaret Hospital. 送你去玛嘉烈医院吧
Good... 好呀…
Oh, no... no... 不要喔…
Wait a minute, 等等
are you not feeling well? 你身体是不是有问题呀？
Your accent is weird. 口音好古怪
Are you Chinese as well? 莫非你是同乡？
Yes, 是
I'm half Fujian Chinese, 1/4 Japanese, 我是福建混大阪
and 1/4 Russian. 再混俄罗斯
Oh, Fujian, so you are from Mainland! 哦，就是大陆妹啦！
Yes, 是
and... 就是…
my mouth is stiff from all this blowing, 我吹得嘴巴也僵硬了
why your willy is still so soft? 怎么它还那么软的？
Mario is impotent now... 马利奥已经不行了
get those "Juice-up Boys" ready. 快叫汁男随时准备
Mario is impotent now, everyone stands by. 马利奥已经不行，大家随时准备
Hey, you mainland girl, 喂！大陆妹
don't bad-mouth me! 你别乱说！
I, Mario Ozawa, am the so-called... 我小泽马利奥在这一行堪称出了名的…
Beefy Bonar. 口软茎硬
Maybe the problem is yours? 会不会是你有问题？
Me? What's my problem? 我？我有什么问题？
Maybe your body has a problem? 会不会是你身材有问题呀？
What's wrong with my body? 我身材有什么问题？
If my body isn't great, 如果我身材有问题
how can I set foot... 我作为一个福建人
in the Japanese AV world as a Chinese? 怎样在这个日本AV界立足？
You are all wrapped up, how can I see? 说呀？你穿得像粽子一样…
I bet your front is as flat as your back! 我想你不就是胸部跟背部一样平！
My grandma is Russian, 我奶奶是俄罗斯人
I have a European body! 我的身材是鬼妹的身材！
Yea, a 3 years old European? 三岁鬼妹呀？
I can tell that... 我看你…
you won't be convinced unless I show you what I have! 也是不见身材不流眼泪的了
Let me show you! 让我秀一些本钱给你看！
Wow, such huge tits! 真他妈的大波！
So, 怎样？
is it my problem, 究竟是我的问题
or yours? 还是你的问题呀？
Ok, that's obviously me. 那很明显是我有问题了
I am so sorry! 我对不起你
Sorry! 对不起！
Well, don't worry, 没关系…
life is filled with... 人生，总是会有…
ups and downs. 高潮和低潮的
When I first started this AV career, 我之前有好几年拍AV
I had no orgasms, 都没有高潮
but I walked through this period of dryness all the same. 不也是干巴巴的熬过去了
Don't you worry, 所以呢，不用怕
tomorrow is gonna be better! 希望在明天嘛！
Thank you very much! 谢谢你！
Keep it up! 加油！
Yes! 是！
Where is the double? Come here quick! 替身呀！开工呀！
This one is impotent, 这个性无能的
it's wasting my time! 浪费我的时间！
Are you really impotent? 真的不行呀？
Don't worry, 放心
it's not a problem, 问题不大的
it's a fucking big trouble! 只是麻烦很大而已
Today's AV Headline! 今天AV头条！
According to informed sources, 知情人士爆料
after the incident with his-ex, 小泽马利奥自被香港女朋友袭击下体之后
Even Mario is physically fine, 虽然生理上已经康复
he has become mentally impotent. 但患上了精神不举
Now all his AVs close-ups has to be done by doubles. 连拍AV也得用替身
If the rumors is true, 如果传闻是真的
it is really worrying. 真的叫人太担心了
But bad luck can always turn worse. 不过小泽马利奥最近也真的很麻烦
Recently there is an aspiring AV actor, 因为近期AV界的超新星出道
who is regarded as Mario's ultimate enemy. 他就是被誉为小泽马利奥劲敌
He is Naoki Nagasaki, the soul healing beau. 治愈系AV美男-长崎直树
Now let's see his interview... 我们现在先去看看他的访问…
Hello everyone, 各位，你们好
I'm Naoki Nagasaki. 我是长崎直树
Making female audience happy... 能够令女性观众开心
is my greatest happiness. 是我最大的幸福呢
There is a saying about you stealing the style of Mario Ozawa, 有评论说你模仿小泽马利奥
What do you think? 你怎么看？
Mario Ozawa, 小泽马利奥
well... 这个…
since we are both from Hong Kong, 既然大家都是香港人
I now challenge you. 你敢不敢接受挑战？
We compete on the sales of our next AV. 我们就用下一部AV的销量来决一胜负
The one that loses... 如果输掉的话…
has to acknowledge... 必须承认对方
the other is "the King of AV"! 就是“男优之王”！
Do you accept my challenge? 你敢不敢接受？
Naoki Nagasaki is so handsome! 长崎直树真的好有型呀！
Amazing! 厉害！
Naoki Nagasaki is really amazing! 长崎直树真是厉害！
His new AV "Rape the Undead"... 最新AV《乱奸·未亡人》销量数字
has already beaten Mario's. 已经超过了马利奥！
Now let's look into the footage of 我们现在就为大家送上
this splendid AV. 这部AV的精彩片段
"Naoki Nagasaki's touching AV debut - Rape the Undead"
Haruko! 春子…
Well... 就是…
We said that... 我们曾经说过
we would be together forever, 永远在一起
how can you be so cruel... 但为什么你那么忍心
and just go like this? 就这样丢下我？
Without you, 没了你以后…
Well... 就是…
I don't believe in love, 我根本没办法去相信爱
and I can't love anymore. 也不可以再去爱了
Kimochiii! “奇摸鸡”！
Yes... 是…
thank you for coming. 你们有心了
Haruko's death is an accident, 春子的死是一个意外
please don't blame yourself. 你不要怪责自己了
Well... 就是…
if I didn't smoke... 如果不是我带他去撒尿
while taking her to pee, 只顾着抽烟
and loosened the leash, 拉他不住…
she wouldn't be crashed by a lorry... 他绝对不会给那货车辗死！
with wheels this fucking big! 那轮胎还他妈的那么大！
I love men that are sentimental. 我最喜欢就是多情的男人
Just his tears have melted me down. 他的眼泪已经将我溶化
Naoki, 直树…
- you can cry on my shoulder. - Please don't... 你靠在我个肩膀尽情哭吧 不要…
No... 不要…
Stop there! 站住！
If you get out from this door, 如果你走出这个门口
then Haruko will disappear forever! 春子就会永远消失！
If you want to get her back, 想拿回春子
undress now! 你自己脱衣服吧！
Take your clothes off, quick! 快点脱衣服！
Hurry up! 快点！
Undress from head to toe! 由上至下脱光！
Take off your pants! 脱掉裤子！
Take off your underpants! 脱掉内裤！
Take off your socks! 脱掉袜子！
Why do you look like this? 干嘛这样子？
Show me your nipples! 给我看你的乳头！
Kneel down! 跪下！
Smile! 要笑！
Dance! 跳舞！
I'd rather be run over by this fucking big wheel, 我宁愿给那么大的轮胎辗死的是我
and you are the one being molested by these three! Haruko! 给那三个女人淫辱的是你呀，春子
"My life, is like those petals blown by this gale," （我的生命，犹如狂风中的花瓣）
"frail, and falling." （柔弱、飘零…）
"Naoki Nagasaki" （长崎直树）
Ok! I will take the challenge! 好！替我答应他！
No fucking way. 他妈的不行
You dick is fucking limp! 你真的他妈的不行嘛！
I have to do it no matter what. 不行也得行
I have to do something... 我要做一件
fucking unforgettable! 我一辈子都会记得的事
Why don't you go fuck the security guard outside? 那你不去操门外的护卫员？
I think of someone suddenly. 我突然间想起一个人
With this person, 找到她
everything will be fine! 那就行了！
Great! 好！
I will find this person for you! 我无论如何都帮你找她回来！
It wouldn't be the security guard, would it? 不会真的是门外那护卫员吧？
This woman was the AV goddess in my adolescence. 这个女人，是我青春期AV的女神
When I was young, I have jerked off for her... 少年的我，为她打落了无数架飞机
thousands of times. 成为空战英雄
She enlightened me in sex... 她简直是我对性爱的启蒙老师
and was the pin-up of so many other boys in Hong Kong... 也是好多香港空战英雄的偶像
Ladies and gentlemen... 各位观众…
Maiko Yuki! 夕树舞子
The condition of Ozawa-san, I have got it. 小泽先生的情况，我明白了
How long do you need then? 那你需要多少时间呢？
Long enough to make a tea. 给我一杯茶的时间
Men's sexual excitement... 男人的性兴奋
actually comes from their brain, 是源自大脑
rather than their bottom half. 不是源自下半身
If there is a problem, 如果出现问题
the best way to solve... 最佳解决方法
is to look into his memories. 是追本逆源
To find out what actually made him hard in his adolescence, 找回他成长期令他兴奋的目标
in order to provoke an erection again. 令他重新起动
I feel so bad! 好辛苦！
Are you alright? 没事吗？
Ozawa-san, 小泽先生
you have to hang in there, the doctor is coming! 你要坚持，医生很快就来了
I feel really bad! 好辛苦！
Why? 怎么了？
Your heartbeat is very strange. 小泽先生，你的心跳好奇怪
I'm dying! 好辛苦！
Are you okay? 没事吗？
What's going on? 发生了什么事？
Why? 怎么了？
What? 什么？
Are you okay? 你没事吗？
My chest is in pain! 我的胸口好痛喔
Can you rub some oil on it? 你替我擦点油吧
Please rub some oil, 擦点油麻烦你
especially on my nipples! 擦在乳头上就最好了
I'm sorry, even oil won't help in your case. 对不起，如果是这样擦油也没用
These? 这个
You have to hang in there! 振作呀！
Hang in there! 振作呀！
I have brought his cock back into life, 我虽然令他起死回生
but in order to have it bigger, stronger and harder, 但是要他变回生龙活虎，比以前还厉害
you have to seek a more experienced master. 还是需要更加厉害的高人帮他
Hello? Where are you now? 喂，你在哪儿？
Why do you have me to come to this warehouse? 忽然叫我来这个货仓做什么呀？
I think that you should get back up from where you fell. 我觉得你在港女手上跌倒
Your ex is from Hong Kong, 就应该从港女手上站起来！
that's why I've specially sent you... 所以我专诚为你速递了
this Hong Kong No.1 hooker to help you. 香港首屈一指的本地鸡来日本呢
Even the Golden Chicken offers a takeaway to Japan? 金鸡也有外送服务到日本？
Hi, boss, I'm Kam. 老板，我不就是阿金啰
I have always wanted to open the international market, 我一直想打开国际市场
and you have made my dream comes true today! 今天终于可以实现到了
Thank you very much! Nice to meet you! 谢谢你，请多多指教！
Miss Hatoyama has already told me everything about you. 鸠山小姐已经全告诉我了
Don't worry, I never miss. 你放心吧，我绝不失手
Hong Kong customers always enjoy my company. 香港人对我特别有亲切感的
I can assure that you can... 我包你可以…
shoot through the ozone layer. 射爆大气层
I am so happy to be here, it's my first business trip! 我好开心呀，第一次出来公干！
I am really happy! 我真的好开心呀！
Thank you very much! 是，谢谢
Let's start then, boss? 那我开始了，老板
Great... 好啊…
Do you want a girlfriend's touch? 要不要女朋友感觉？
Please don't! 千万不要
My condition is caused by my ex, I hate her. 我女朋友害成我这样，我好恨她
Okay. 好
Just by looking I know he had a very miserable past. 我一看就知他有一段伤心的往事
Very miserable! 非常伤心！
Let me have a talk with him! 我先跟他聊聊天
I'm afraid I have to use some ice and fire! 看来我也要用冰火了！
Wow, do you really have to use such lethal weapons on me? 不用出动那么大杀伤力武器对付我吧？
Difficult times call for harsh measures, 非常时期用非常方法嘛
I learnt this from Andy Lau. 刘德华教的
Fuck you, Andy Lau, it's all your fault. 那混蛋刘德华，这次给他害惨了
It's getting so hot. 热死人了
Why are you still hard and haven't shot yet? 怎么你那么固执，这样都不射？
I have no choice... 不行了
but to go for turbocharging and top-spinning! 我要出涡轮增压，爆旋陀螺！
The Golden Chicken is famous for a reason! 金鸡果然名不虚传！
Now you have shot through to the Galaxy. 看来，你已经射出了银河系
With the power you have now, 依你现在的功力
you can take whatever challenges that come your way. 可以接受任何挑战
Remember, 你要记住
you are a Hong Konger, 你是香港人
and the core value of we Hong Kongers is... 香港人的核心价值就是…
no matter how hard is the circumstance, we have to be... 遇到任何挫折，都一定要…
HARDER! 硬！
King of AV Battle The live show of the " King of AV Battle" between... 当今两大最受迎的AV男优
Mario Ozawa and Naoki Nagasaki, 小泽马利奥和长崎直树的…
the two most popular AV actors, “男优王者大对决”直播
has now began! 现在正式开始！
Mario Ozawa, 小泽马利奥
today I will defeat you in front of everyone. 我今天就要在全世界面前打败你！
If you lose, 如果你输了
you will have to kneel down... 你要在电视机面前
in front of all the audience, 向所有观众下跪
and acknowledge my position as the true King of AV. 承认我，才是真正的“男优之王”
Listen, you fucking Louis Koo of Jiangmen, 你这个江门古天乐，我跟你说呀
I haven't even sued you for stealing my signature style. 你抄袭我卖点这件事我都还未跟你算帐
You will see, 好！
today I have to show everyone in Japan, 今天我就让全日本人知道
who is the cutest. 谁才是最可爱的！
Today's victory is decided by... 今天这场AV男优对决
the two AV actors' new releases, 将会以两位男优最新推出
which hit the stores today. 在今天开卖的AV新作销量决胜负
For the sake of the professional legitimacy, 而为了增加专业认受性
we have invited their master, 当然要请来他们的师傅
the Super AV actor... 殿堂级AV男优
Mr. Taka Kato to be our judge! 加藤鹰先生作专业评判
"Goldfinger."
"Taka Kato" 加藤鹰先生
Master Taka Kato,
what do you think about this battle? 你怎么看这次两位徒弟的对决呢？
They are both my beloved pupils. 他们俩都是我爱徒
One is like my left fingers, 真的左手手指又是肉
the other is the right. 右手手指也是肉
It's like my left and right fingers are fighting to each other. 我觉得是自己的左手和右手的决战
The two contestants have things to say again. 两位男优又有话要发表
Oh, you think you are unbeatable? 真看不过眼你那么帅
Great, let's raise the bet, 好，就跟你拚了
whoever loses today has to suck... 如果今天谁输了，就要含我们师傅…
our master Kato-san's... 加藤鹰“神之手”
Goldfingers! 的手指！
Ha! 靠！
You Nick Cheung lookalike, 你这个翻版张家辉
it's just sucking, no big deal! 含而已，谁怕谁
You're wrong. 那你就错了
Even a 30 years old fish chopping board... 一块砧板，就算切了三十年刺身
would have some smell, and now we are talking about... 都会有点腥味吧？更何况…
Kato-san's fingers! 加藤鹰的手指唷！
His fingers are so yours! 你等着含吧！
I already have the two AVs with me. 我手上已经有小泽和长崎的新作
Great, let's see! 去吧！
"The Horny Spirits"
This one is so ugly! 丑成这样！
This one is actually cute! 好可爱呢！
Mister, we would like to... 先生，我们几姊妹希望…
suck the essence out of your dick, 吸收先生身体的精华
so as to wet our souls, 帮我们的灵魂补湿
and get on to another world. 让我们得以超渡
Hey, your nipple slips! 等等，你走光喔！
It's okay! 没关系！
Power, 临
Energy, 兵
Harmony, 斗
Healing, 者
Intuition, 皆
Awareness, 阵
Dimension, 裂
Creation, 在
Absolute! 前
See you in the next life! 我们来生再见
He is so amazing, it's really surprising! 真的没想到，太有惊喜了
Naoki has put Ying and Yang together, 长崎竟然想到以男女阴阳调和
his touch with the underworld... 破了人类和幽灵的界限
has pushed AV up to a philosophical level! 将AV提升到一个哲学的层次
Thank you! 谢谢！
Our Naoki is a sure win. 我们长崎一定会赢
Why don't you just give up now? 你们不如早点认输吧
I am really worried now, but... 我现在真的好担心呀，可是…
fuck you anyway! 操你呀！
With the comment of Master Kato, 刚刚加藤先生的评语一出
the sales of Naoki's 长崎直树的新作
The Horny Spirits is shooting up high. 《超渡淫灵》的销量直线上升
I can already picture your face when... 我现在已经幻想到
you are sucking the Goldfingers of Kato-san, 一会儿你捉住加藤鹰双手，含着的样子
and that's really cute! 真的很可爱呢！
Fuck! 靠！
So what kind of topic has Mario chosen, 不知小泽又会以什么题材迎战
and can he really beat Naoki? 又可不可以胜过长崎呢？
Master Kato, 加藤先生
let's watch it now! 我们还是快点看看小泽的新作吧！
Let's go! 去吧！
"Superman Ozawa - Saving the Earth"
The Earth is like an innocent girl in the Universe, 地球在宇宙中就好像一个无辜少女
it has always been molested by aliens and monsters. 经常给来自外星的怪兽蹂躏
Usually, it happens only once a week, 通常呢，就一星期一次
as the series of Superman is only broadcasted once a week. 因为超人片集就是一星期播一次的
This time is the worst, 这一次就最离谱了
as there are so many monsters. 因为怪兽好多
Too many of them. 好多只
Yamete! “吔咩爹”！
At this moment, 这个时候…
these useless Earth Defenders, 真他妈的没用
who've never defeated any monsters, appear! 没一次够怪兽打的地球保卫队出动了！
Well, the monsters have lost their minds! 这个…那些怪兽都他妈的疯了
See? 看看看
These scumbags only irritate the monsters every time, 这些白痴每次都只会激怒怪兽
it's even a waste time to scold them! 简直是操他都嫌费事
I've just been told... 刚刚收到消息
all our troops've been defeated by the monsters! 我们的部队都给怪兽击落了！
Oh no, we can't hold this any longer... 我们支持不下去了…
Superman Ozawa, the world's peace is in your hands! 地球的和平还是要靠你了，小泽超人！
Which episode isn't like that? 其实有哪一个礼拜不是这样？
Why do you repeat every time? 你说来干吗？
You fucking monsters, 你们这些王八蛋
why are you here on earth? 他妈的来地球做什么？
What a stupid question! 那还用问？
To destroy the earth, 来毁灭地球
and most importantly...shopping! 他妈的不用血拚呀？
What a bastard! Let me kill you first. 好，先杀你这个王八蛋！
Invading the earth just for shopping? 来日本不血拚还干吗？
You big evil! 那么凶啊
Let me tear off your ears! 让我把你的耳朵扭下来
Oh why are you here? 怎么会是你呀？
I make an appearance to support you! 我特地出镜支持你的！
Why do you wear a wig? 平常为什么戴假发呀？
I've actually been wearing it all this time. 其实我是戴假发的
What the fuck! You lie to me? 你这混蛋，骗我？
Get lost! 走呀！
Superman Ozawa takes a move, 小泽超人一出手
and throws Monster Hatoyama so far... 就把鸠山怪兽扔到很远…
You are not human either, why you don't let us destroy? 你又不是地球人，为什么不让我们破坏？
The monsters start to pounce on and... 这群怪兽一涌而上
gang bully Superman Ozawa 人多欺负人少
and attack Superman Ozawa. 围殴小泽超人
Oh no, 原来不是
they are actually molesting him. 是围着非礼小泽超人才对
These monsters are real perverts, 这些怪兽，非常好色
surfing their hands on Superman Ozawa. 对小泽超人上下其手
Look, they are touching his nipples! 他们调戏小泽超人两颗乳头
Wow, now's his balls! 还猴子偷桃！
Fuck you all, my mask! 操你妈的，全都歪掉了
Take my beam... 还是那招…
Beam! Beam! Beam! 招、招、招…
Superman Ozawa, let me ask you, 小泽超人，我问你…
what's so great about the Earth that you want to protect? 到底地球有啥好，值得你去保护？
I don't know! 我他妈的怎会知道
I'm a Superman, protecting the Earth is my job! 我是超人，就要保护地球啦！
Don't chitchat anymore, kill him now! 别跟他啰唆，先消灭他！
Oh fuck! 靠！
Superman Ozawa, you have fucked up our Earth! 小泽超人，地球这趟给你害死了
Ah! You fucking bastard! I'm fed up with you! 你这混蛋，我真的忍你好久了
All you do is talk, why don't you come down and fight? 你整天在指指点点，你下来打呀！
You motherfucker! Just staying up high! 操你妈的，整天只在上而坐着！
Fuck you! 王八蛋，操你呀！
Why are you saying? 你说这些？
Wait a minute, actually "fuck" will do! 等等，操你是行得通的
The real key to conquer women... 原来令女人最受用的秘技
is actually romance and care, 是男人的浪漫和细心
and the real G-spot... 最令女人融化的G点
is a woman's heart, 是在心里
not down there. 而不在那某处
Superman Ozawa, you've got my total respect! 小泽超人，我真他妈的佩服你！
Mario's AV has not only got out of the Earth, 小泽的AV不只冲出了地球
it has reached the end of the Universe, 有去到宇宙的胸襟
he also expressed the human's will of living in harmony... 表达了人类渴望和外星人和平相处
or even reproduce with aliens. 甚至合体的愿望
This is one level higher than Naoki's. 比长崎的又再推上一个层次
Monsters will no longer pose threat to human, 人类以后不会再怕怪兽
the more they come, the more we fuck. 真是来一只，操一只
Mario's AV... 小泽的AV
has driven out our fear for monsters in all these years. 完全驱除了多年来我们对怪兽的恐惧
Here comes the official sales record. 最新消息，有正式销量宣布
Mario Ozawa's AV is ranked No.1 in sales. 小泽的AV荣登销量第一
It's a crushing defeat for Naoki Nagasaki! 彻底击败长崎！
It's impossible! 不可能的！
I officially declare that, 我现在正式宣布…
in this King of AV Battle, the winner is... 这次的AV男优王者大对决，胜出的是…
Mario Ozawa! 小泽马利奥！
Enough crying. Come down quick and kneel down before me! 够了，快点下来跪下吧
Kneel down please! 请你下跪吧！
Get down now! 跪呀！
Suck it! 含呀！
Aren't you serious? 不是吧兄弟？
That's it? 这样就想过关？
What? 干嘛啦？
It's just for a TV programme, 拍电视节目而已
why are you so serious? 用不着那么认真吧
Such an idiot! 真傻逼！
Wow, you fucking liar! 你这混蛋！
The humiliation I've suffered today, 我今日所受的屈辱，将来…
you will have to pay me back in a 100 times in the future! 一定要你百倍奉还
Of course! 赢了啦！
Ah! We won! 当然啦
We won! 赢了啦！
Are you happy now? 很开心吧？
By the way... 说点正经的…
have you ever watched my AVs and touched yourself? 你有没有试过看我的AV打飞机呢？
No, of course not! 没有，当然没有啦！
Why you seem so nervous? 答得那么害羞？
Hell no, I don't! 他妈的神经病，当然没有！
Are you a woman? 你是不是女人来的？
Hello! 你好！
Mario Ozawa! 小泽马利奥！
Here, one each, 别废话，一人一只呀！
they have all been signed! 都签名了！
Thank you! 谢谢！
From now on, 从今天开始
we only sell originals here! 我们这里只卖正版DVD !
I was going to shut this shop down this month, 真走运，我这里本来也关门了
thanks to this idiot, he is taking over. 但他真屌丝，接手了
That's called being persistent. 屌丝是好的
Someone said to me once, 曾经有人跟我说过
we Hong Kongers, 我们是香港人…
no matter how hard is the circumstance, 无论遇到什么挫折也好
we have to be HARDER! 一定要硬！
HARDER! 要硬！
If we keep being tough and hard, 只要我们够硬…
no one can beat us! 就没人可以动我们了！
My love... My love... My love... 哥儿哥儿哥儿哥儿哥～～
My... 哥～～～
Now you are an "Impressionism AV Actor"! 你现在是“现象级男优”呀
Too much hand movements... 手真多…
What are your hands doing? 你双手在干什么？
Just can't stand it... Can't stand it... 忍不住…忍不住…
Chotto Ma Te Yo Love... Chotto Ma Te Yo爱心…
Had he shot, 如果他射了
a rubber band would be added on his wrist. 就可以圈一根橡皮筋在手上
Since he hasn't shot yet, he doesn't have any now. 现在他还没射，所以没有橡皮筋
Hello, I'm a fortune teller from China, 你好，我是中国来的神算
nicknamed "Get-It-All-Wrong" fortune teller. 绰号“人算不如天算”
My real name is Chan Ho-Sun, you can call me Peter. 真名是陈可辛，你可以叫我Peter
Mr. Peter Peter老师
ain't I handsome? 是不是很帅？
Mr. Ozawa, please punish me physically! 小泽老师，请你体罚我吧！
Wow! 哗！
What is this? 搞什么？!
What is happening? 发生什么事？
Your daughter is so fucked up! 你女儿真混蛋
Grabbing my hand to squeeze her boob, she's crossed the line! 抓我的手，捏她的胸，成何体统！
She's crossed the line? What about me? 她那么过份？有没有我这么过份呀？
Wow! What do you want? Wow! 哗！你想怎样呀？哗！
Thank you! 谢谢
Thank you everyone! 谢谢大家！
Thank you. 谢谢
Wow, so thick! 哗，好厚哦
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