有个拿斧头的家伙要杀我 Someone tried to kill me with a hatchet.
- 斧头? - 我记起的下一件事 - A hatchet? - Next thing I knew,
是有人朝我射了一箭 someone was shooting arrows at me.
-...12号房 - 箭 - ...Room 12. - Arrows?
这家伙不需要私家侦探 他需要心理医生 This man doesn't need a detective. He needs a psychiatrist.
弗兰克? Frank?
Dearly beloved, let us begin.
斯蒂尔传奇 第二季 Episode 04
斯蒂芬妮·金伯里斯 饰 劳拉·霍尔特
皮尔斯·布鲁斯南 饰 雷明顿·斯蒂尔
奇婚记
有什么我可以帮你吗? May I help you?
呃 是的 我在-- Uh, yes, this is, uh--
先生? 请继续说 Y-yes? Sir, you'll have to speak up.
对不起 我在--呃-- Uh, I'm sorry. This is, uh--
我在12号房 This is room 12.
喂? Hello?
先生? 达农先生? Sir? Mr. Dannon?
我听不见你说话 达农先生? I can't hear you, sir. Mr. Dannon?
需要我做什么吗? Sir, can I help you?
达农先生? Mr. Dannon?
再来一批？ Ready for the next batch?
你对这种工作的热情可真让我惊讶 Your enthusiasm for this kind of work amazes me.
你在开玩笑吧? 这工作很有趣 Oh, are you kidding? This is fun.
我读了所有这些案卷 I've been reading through these cases,
阴谋诡计 浪漫爱情 还有-- and the intrigue, and the romance, and the--
噢! 还有那些惊心动魄的冒险 太刺激了! Ooh! The adventure. It's so dangerous.
有时候我甚至觉得 老板他完美得都有点不真实 Sometimes I think that our boss is too good to be true.
说到大英雄斯蒂尔先生 Speaking of the heroic Mr. Steele,
他不是应该早在一小时前就来帮忙的吗? wasn't he supposed to join us about an hour ago?
他可是日理万机的人啊 Oh, well, he has so much work to do,
所以我就和他说 这点小事 我们两个女人就绰绰有余了 That I told him that we girls could handle this by ourselves. Oh.
早安 女士们! Ah, good morning, ladies, good morning!
早安 先生 Oh, good morning, sir.
有几个电话找你 不过都不是什么急事 You have several phone calls, but nothing urgent. Hm. Ah.
早上来杯咖啡怎么样? Coffee this morning?
来杯茶就好了 米尔翠 Ah, tea, actually, Mildred.
没问题 老大! You got it, boss!
这女人真不可思议 对吧 充满活力 Oh, remarkable woman, eh? Filled with spirit,
全身心投入工作 consumed with dedication.
这事应该已经完成了 This has got to stop.
我看还要花几个小时 你觉得呢 Oh, a couple more hours should do it, I'd think. Don't you?
我的意思是 你和克雷布斯女士得谈一谈了 I mean, you and our Miss krebs are
是吧? going to have a little talk. Really?
谈什么呢? What about, I wonder?
关于这个事务所的运作方式 About who really runs this agency.
要份文件 她说得先请示你 If I want a file, she asks you first.
要个文件夹 她说也得先请示你 If I want a paper clip, she asks you first.
你不得不承认这位女士其实挺专一的 Well, you must admire the woman's consistency.
我不关心你怎么做 I don't care how you do it,
选择什么样的方式 无论如何 Or which method you choose, but somehow
你要让她了解我们俩起码是平起平坐的 you're going to convince her that we are at least equals.
噢! 劳拉 这样做的话-- Ah! But, Laura, think how it would shatter the--
不是会打破那位女士心中的完美幻象吗 The perfect harmony of that woman's universe.
眼下这种形势 I think in situations like this,
你懂的 You know, the truth is
真相带来的好处往往抵不过麻烦 always more trouble than it's worth, don't you?
对不起 我找雷明顿·斯蒂尔 Ah, pardon me, but I'm looking for Remington Steele.
我就是 愿意为你效劳 您是-- Ah, yes, at your service, Mr., ah--
达农 弗兰克·达农 Oh, Dannon. Well, frank dannon.
我的忠实助手 劳拉·霍尔特 And my loyal associate, Laura Holt. Oh, hi.
有什么我们可以效劳的 What can we do for you,
达农先生? - 我需要你们帮忙找个人 Mr. Dannon? - I need you to find someone.
- 很好 找谁? - 我 - Excellent. Who? - me.
你失忆了? And you can't remember anything about yourself?
什么都想不起来 霍尔特小姐 Not a thing, miss Holt.
关于家庭 朋友呢? 也是一片空白？ No memories at all-- family, friends?
要不是汽车旅馆的服务员告诉我 I didn't even know my own
我连自己的名字都不知道 name until that motel operator told it to me.
我所记得的另一件事 是有人朝我射了一箭 Next thing I knew, someone was shooting arrows at me.
- 箭? - 这可这不多见啊 - Arrows? - Well, that's strange, huh?
显而易见 It's abundantly clear that
我们在面对一例典型的失忆症 we're dealing with a classic case of amnesia,
健忘症有两种类型 Of which there are two
创伤性失忆和癔症性失忆 characteristic types: traumatic and hysterical.
既然这位先生的头上没有任何撞击 挫裂 In the absence of any bumps, bruises,
和其他明显的创伤 or other obvious injuries to the skull,
我想我们有把握推定 I think we're safe in
这个男人所患的是-- concluding that this man is suffering from...
癔症性的失忆症 the hysterical form of the condition.
你到底想说什么 Well, what does that mean?
最近某个人 或某件事情 Someone or something
把你吓得魂飞魄散了 recently scared the living daylights out of you.
Ohh.
- -
等等 Wait a minute.
有人想杀了我 嗯哼 - Someone tried to kill me. - mm-hmm.
- 那个人拿着斧头 - 斧头? - with a hatchet. - a hatchet?
不好意思 我们先失陪一下 Would you excuse us for a moment, please? Hmm.
箭 还有斧头? An arrow? A hatchet?
这家伙不需要私家侦探 他需要心理医生 This man doesn't need a detective. He needs a psychiatrist.
我得承认这不是个很有说服力的故事 I must admit it's not the most plausible story.
不过很明显 It's obvious the man has been on
他心理上受到了很大的打击 the receiving end of some terrible psychological blow.
毕竟即使是妄想狂也并非没有敌人啊 劳拉 After all, Laura, even paranoids have enemies.
那我们就给他推荐个不错的咨询机构 Then we'll refer him to a good counseling
在那儿他能到很好的帮助 service where he can get the kind of help he needs.
顺便问一句 你那套失忆症的调调是哪学的? By the way, where'd you get this stuff on amnesia?
"爱德华大夫"? Spellbound? Yes, I was, actually.
格利高里·派克 英格丽·褒曼 塞尔兹尼克电影公司 嗯 1945年出品 Gregory Peck, Ingrid Bergman, Selznick International, um, 1945.
我就知道 Why do I ask?
仔细考虑了您当前所面临的困境 After giving careful consideration to your plight,
斯蒂尔先生决定-- Mr. Steele has decided--
Spellbound? Orrobin hood.
"Everything for the modern survivalist."
This is kind of a long shot, isn't it?
Interesting choice of words.
Until we can generate some information on who you are,
This arrow is all we have to go on.
You the store manager? Affirmative.
Little lady, you're not
gonna stop too many commies with one of those.
You need our basic armageddon package for self-defense.
- we're not interested in
purchasing-- - think of it as an investment.
When the red army appears outside your door,
you're gonna thank the good lord...
You've got the firepower to protect your own perimeter.
- no, you don't under-- - if price is a problem,
We got installment plans that'll blow you away.
Now, you just can't improve on the
government-issue colt: automatic, dependable, lethal.
Ten-hut! We're private investigators,
And we need to know who purchased this particular arrow.
- do you keep records on that?
- what are you? One of those flaming liberals...
Who wants to take arrows out
of the hands of decent, law-abiding citizens?
Huh?
What are you doing? Sands of iwo jima,
John wayne, republic, 1949.
Everybody all right?
We're all right here.
Yeah, I'm okay. I think so.
Come on, you heathens. We're ready for ya!
Frank?
Tragic. But effective.
Let's not forget who came up with the idea.
Hey, what's going on? I can't see anything.
Is that better? Much. Are you sure this will work, mr. Steele?
At the very least we'll
know more about you when we see who shows up.
我丰富的罪案经验告诉我 My experience with the
无论是谁想杀你 他都会在这现身的... That whoever's trying to kill you will appear here...
Out of some perverse sense of symmetry--
有一种纯粹心理上的冲动... A certain psychotic compulsion...
驱使他来确认其犯罪行为的最终结果 To confirm the ultimate resolution of the crime.
这样啊 可如果你想错了呢 斯蒂尔先生 Yeah, but what if you're wrong, Mr. Steele?
弄错? Wrong?
雷明顿·斯蒂尔? 笑话! Remington Steele?
It seems to be working.
FrER WHO SHE IS ANYWAY.
我们还指望你说明呢 We were hoping you could tell us.
也许是你妹妹 A sister, maybe?
我肯定来自一个大家庭 I must come from a large family.
各位亲友 葬礼开始 Dearly beloved, let us begin.
请死者的妻子上前一步 Will the wife of the deceased please step forward?
这位在葬礼上登记的名字是特瑞·洛威尔·达农 Terry Lowell Dannon, according to the funeral home register.
想起什么了吗? Ring any bells?
根本没印象 Total stranger.
2号寡妇 芭芭拉·特洛伊·达农 Widow number two, uh, Barbara troy dannon.
想不起-- No, I--
南茜·斯廷森·达农 有印象吗? Nancy Stinson dannon. Is this doing anything for you?
没有 No, I--
斯特拉·马蒂诺·达农 Stella Martino dannon.
她不是我的菜 She's not my type.
你根本就不挑食 Everyone appears to be your type.
我是说 I-I mean, you seem to have...
你在欣赏女性方面颇具民主的的眼光 达农先生 Such a democratic taste with women, Mr. Dannon.
下一个 米尔翠 Next slide please, Mildred.
噢 我倒希望我记得她 Oh, I wish I remembered her.
玛丽·霍威尔·达农 Mary Howell dannon. That's it.
五名妻子同时现身 Five wives at the same time.
啧啧啧啧 你这家伙 Tsk, tsk. Oh, boy.
我有五个老婆 I have five wives.
啊! Oh!
挺住 伙计 坚持住! Come on. Stay with us. Stay-- stay with us. Oh.
There we go. Yes. You all right?
我--有好些画面在我脑海中闪回 I-- well, I-I-- I just keep
就好像一个梦 having these flashes, like-- like in a dream.
不 像是一个噩梦 我-- No, no, more like a nightmare really. I--
我什么都感觉不到 And nothing makes sense until the
然后有个人拿着斧头想要杀我 end when someone tries to kill me with a hatchet.
- 谁要杀你 - 我看不见 - Who's trying to kill you? - well, I can't see who.
- 可我知道那是个女人 - 我好吃惊啊 - but I know it's a woman. - What a surprise.
- 我知道了 - 真的? - I've got it. - You do?
"海市蜃楼" 格里高利·派克 沃尔特·马修 环球影业 Mirage. Gregory Peck, Walter Matthau. Universal,
1965年出品 Eh, 1965.
呃--我不记得这部电影 我不奇怪 Well, I-- I don't remember that one. I'm not surprised.
派克扮演一名失忆的男人 身处危险之中 Peck plays a man with amnesia who's in great danger.
他的头脑中也有很多影像循环闪回 这让他解开了整个谜团 He has this recurring flashback that unravels the entire mystery.
弗兰克的梦就是关键? And Frank's dream is the key?
完全正确 米尔翠 Precisely, Mildred.
噢噢 这真是太棒了 斯蒂尔先生 Oh, that's wonderful, Mr. Steele.
这简直--令人惊诧 Oh, that's-- isn't it amazing...
我们的老板居然能通过几部老电影来抓住问题的症结! How our boss uses even old movies to get to the heart of things?
让人目瞪口呆 Stupefying.
可我记不得太多的细节 除开那把斧子之外 Yeah, but I don't remember much about it, except for the hatchet!
别紧张 派克也 Relax. Peck couldn't figure
it out till he was staring death in the face.
Oh, terrific. You think we might get there a little earlier?
Well, at least we have solid suspects. Five, to be exact.
- Mildred! - but who's counting?
My wives?
Maybe one of them tried to give you a quickie divorce.
Well, how do we find out which one, mr. Steele?
Excellent question.
Uh, miss Holt, why don't you run
frank through that plan I've been devising, eh?
Yes. Well, uh-- well,
Since it was mr. Steele's idea to stage a funeral,
What goes better with a funeral than-- a wake!
Of sorts-- a little get-together
where the widows can drink to the dear departed.
And while you have all the
suspects under one roof, you smoke out the killer.
Exactly.
Oh, that's absolutely brilliant, mr. Steele.
Ooh, it's just brilliant.
Well, one does what one can, Mildred.
I'll handle the cold cuts.
????
Wrong side. Obviously.
????
Ahh. That's more like it.
- how do I look? - a bit more distraught would help.
A portrait of grief.
Laura, I'm barbara.
I'm so glad you could come.
Oh, this is my friend and attorney, sterling gillette.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss,
mrs. Dannon. So tragic and-- and curious.
I came tonight 'cause I
want to know how five of us ended up in black.
We were supposed to be married next week.
I was out of town when--
And then I heard of the funeral-- ohh!
Oh, baby, it's all right.
I know how you feel.
Gentle? Mm-hmm.
Frank?
You're joking, right? No. My frank was so sweet.
Oh, the man was an animal--
Pure carnivore.
Didn't he ever-- hey, pal, this is girl talk.
Why don't you go pour us a couple of shots, huh?
Why don't you come in, ladies?
Did he ever bring in the revolving light?
I don't think anyone's
tampered with those in the past 10 minutes.
Look, buster.
Those are mean streets out there...
Where a man's life could be bought for bus fare...
And a woman's virtue is as thin as the paint on her face.
Oh, miss krebs. You don't really think
any of those nice women would try to kill me, do you?
- all I can say is I-- I wish I was packin' a rod. - a rod?
A gat, a roscoe,
An equalizer, artillery.
The boss doesn't like us carrying.
I'm gonna have to talk to him about that.
Yeah, but look, if so many women married me,
I must be a lovable guy, right?
- wrong. - if only I could talk to them,
I'm sure I could straighten things out because, obviously,
There's been some kind of misunderstanding.
You're dead, mister. And as far as I'm concerned,
You're gonna stay dead so no one can kill you.
All right, miss krebs.
I know when I'm licked.
I think I'll, uh, just take a shower and call it a night.
I'm sending you over, angel.
But, my dear, how could you be married to the man...
And not known he was an aerospace engineer?
Well, because, my dear, the man I married was a neurosurgeon.
That explains it. Oh, thank you. Mm-hmm.
Um, my frank was a history professor.
But one night, when we were in the middle of--
You know--
He started shouting, "Clamp it, clamp it."
- more champagne, ladies? - please.
Oh, hi, blue eyes. Hm.
I could use a refill.
Say, you're a lawyer, right, honey?
I just find the law so... stimulating.
Yes, yes-- corpus delicti,
Ipso facto, rigor mortis.
Endless fascination, mrs. Dannon.
And he told me that he had to be away a lot...
In order to acquire antiques for his shop.
The truck drivin' man I married
wouldn't know an antique from a crankshaft.
Cold cuts, anyone?
No, thanks.
Just-- cheese. Mm-hmm. More?
I wonder what frank saw in a little thing like that.
Terrible thing about your husband.
Why talk about him?
You know, that adorable little laura...
Says you're handling frank's will.
Uh-- uh, yes, that's right. Oh, that's just wonderful.
Why don't you just tell me all about it?
You know, like, how much do I get?
I can keep a secret.
Mr. Gillette.
Mr. Gillette! Ah, miss Holt.
Uh, I'm just going over the finer points of--
I can see the points you were going over.
May I speak with you a moment?
Certainly, certainly. Uh,
I'm sure you'll get over your grief in time.
Ahh. Excuse me, please.
I spotted a gun in barbara's purse. Hmm.
And our raven-haired yum-yum over there has been plying me...
With questions about inheritance.
What are you getting from the others?
A fascinating portrait of the energetic mr. Dannon.
Apparently, he was all things to all women.
HUH. YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE A JEALOUS FIANCE缮E.
Let's just put it this way--
If his case went to trial tomorrow,
I'd have a hard time knowing which side to root for.
I'm certainly glad frank isn't around to hear that.
I got it, honey!
- hi, everybody! -
All legitimate questions,
Which I'm sure will all be answered in good time!
However, mr. Dannon is
incapacitated for the time being, so I suggest...
That we all go home, relax, and I shall contact you in the--
Okay! Ah, nancy! Please, please, don't go in there!
Okay, ladies, he's very, very ill,
isn't he? Yes! This way! Here's the door!
- - ahh, dr. Krebs!
Oh, I'm so sorry. Ah, don't be sorry,
doctor. You've arrived in record time.
Oh, but I-- I know you need someplace private to do your work,
So go right ahead, doctor.
Go ahead, doctor. Don't let us disturb you. Good night, ladies.
Good night, mrs. Dannon! Good night,
mrs. Dannon! Good night, mrs. Dannon!
I know. Good night, mrs. Dannon. Good night. Good night to you!
Good night! Oh, oh, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I--
It can wait, Mildred. I hope you
understand how badly you've complicated things...
By showing up here tonight, frank.
- I just thought-- - not only
have you destroyed all our painstaking work...
We've done thus far, but now everybody knows you're alive.
But looking on the brighter side,
we've learned that you're no run-of-the-mill bigamist.
Do you realize you've posed as an antique dealer,
A truck driver, a neurosurgeon,
A college professor and an aerospace engineer,
While simultaneously maintaining five households?
- disgusting. - mie're professionals.
We have been hired to protect mr.
Dannon to the best of our ability,
And we will do so regardless
of our personal feelings whatever they might be.
You swine.
You'll be safer at my apartment.
You really think I'm still in danger?
Frank, please. A few minutes ago,
one of your spouses tried to use your head...
As a basketball. Oh, I think you're making too much of this.
I can't believe one of my wives would actually take--
- you were saying? -
Are you all right? They were over there!
What was that? See anything?
What was it? Here. Well, now.
Oh. Perhaps one of our ladies dropped this.
You get frank to bed,
and I'll see if a certain gun's been fired in,
Say, the last five minutes.
There we go. In we go.
How about a drink, eh? Oh, I'd love one.
You know, it's just like
stella to try and choke me. She's so impulsive.
Frank. Mr. Steele?
You're remembering.
Hey!
That's right. Ah, well, this calls for a toast.
Now, if only I could remember who came at me with that hatchet.
Ah-ah, don't push it. Let's just be thankful...
Your memory's returning, however slowly.
- - HERE WE GO. VOILA亮.
To, uh--
To happy memories and what makes them. Hm.
To mary. I'll never forget that week in cape cod.
And to terry and those long nights with dickens. Mm-hmm.
And to stella too.
You know, a man couldn't ask for a better bowling partner.
And to barbara's... style.
To those nights with nancy,
on that bearskin rug in front of the fireplace.
She'd rub-- I'll drink to that.
Oh, but how did I ever get into this mess?
I'm afraid you're the only one who can answer that, frank.
I remember it was... fun most of the time.
Always something to look forward to--
New job, new romance.
Can you recall how it all started?
In college, I was always switching majors.
Then I dropped out,
And I joined the navy.
Yeah, that's right. I enlisted-- medical orderly.
We were somewhere in the china sea.
Took on some wounded.
And one of the doctors collapsed, and the patient was dying.
Blood was everywhere.
So I just... picked up some instruments.
I mean, I'd seen plenty of operations.
And, uh,
I saved that man's life.
- did you tell anyone? - what, in the navy?
Oh, that would have landed me in the brig.
But-but it was that experience that made me realize I had a gift.
I could watch somebody do something and pick it up--
Right away.
Suddenly you saw your life was different from that of most men.
You didn't have to be trapped in a single identity.
No one could tell you what to do.
That's right. You really understand, don't you?
Tell me, though.
How did the women figure in all this?
Oh, as I recall, it just happened.
I fell in love, got married.
Then I fell in love with someone else. And married her too.
I guess I'm just an old-fashioned guy.
Yes. But did you ever consider how they might feel about it?
No, I guess not.
Maybe it's too bad that hatchet missed.
Uh, listen, frank, I think that's being a bit extreme.
I mean, look at it this way:
at least you're capable of making a commitment.
Now what kind of commitments did I make, mr. Steele?
I was playing roles,
imagining I was putting something over on life,
When in fact, I was only fooling myself.
I guess I was too scared to make a real commitment.
It's not an uncommon failing, frank.
Hey, listen, it's been a long day, a tough day.
I've got the couch, you take the bedroom, okay?
Good night, frank.
You doing here? Good night, frank.At are
Somebody took some shots tonight at frank after you left. Oh, no!
Is he all right? He's all right.
Oh, god! I'm sorry.
Um, let's move into the study.
This is quite a shock, but, uh, I don't understand...
Why you came here-- I saw the gun in your purse tonight, barbara.
Oh, I see. And you suspected that-- you had the means,
The motive and the opportunity.
You sound just like a policeman.
I am-- the private kind. Frank's my client.
Oh, I see.
Well, I may have had the means to shoot frank,
But you are wrong about the motive.
I owe that man more than I could ever possibly repay.
When I first met frank, I was an ambitious dress designer.
I had no time for anything but running my own business.
Frank showed me how hollow that life was.
Without someone to share it with,
My success meant nothing.
Frank dannon saved me from becoming a very cold, hard woman.
He taught me how to love again.
I'd still like to see that gun.
- of course. - may I?
Certainly.
It's gone.
Oh, frank, darling.
Hm! Oh, no! Don't, nance!
No!
What do you say we run away tonight, huh? Oh, uh--
We'll rent a room with one of
those beds like we had that weekend in pittsburgh.
Oh, pittsburgh. Start all over again, huh?
Oh, nancy, I-I don't-- now, hush.
Now, I don't care about those other girls.
I know you couldn't care
for them the way you care about me, could you?
No. We'll just pretend like nothing ever happened.
"Come into my parlor," Said the spider to the fly.
- what? - what's to stop her from taking you...
To some nice, secluded spot and slitting your throat, frank?
- why would I do that? - inheritance, nancy.
The only subject on your mind from earlier this evening.
Well, I thought he was dead.
I just wanted to see what was coming to me.
Same old cash problems, huh, nance?
Well, now, hon, I'm just a little bit overextended,
But you know how picky those credit card people can be.
But I wouldn't hurt a hair on my frank's head.
This is the only man who's
ever respected me for more than just my body.
Isn't she something?
Oh, yes, frank.
She's definitely something. Definitely.
All right, honey.
Where is he?
You said he'd be here 10 minutes ago. So where is he?
Stella, why don't you sit down?
I can't sit down. This is my life we're talking about, honey.
- I thought frank's life was the issue here. - frank--
Frank's got it made. He's got the pick of the litter.
- where is he anyway? - come on, stella.
You think I'd let him walk into a bullet?
You missed once. I wasn't gonna give you a second chance.
What are you talking about? Me, shoot frank?
You're joking, right?
Somehow you'd be more convincing without the gun.
You wouldn't understand.
I'll never find a man to replace frank.
Look at me, honey.
This isn't exactly a body that men lust after.
But I'll tell you something: frank made me feel like a queen.
Roses, candlelight dinners, the works.
Obviously, things can't go back to
the way they were before, so who is he gonna choose?
You think a hundred and 40 pounds of cellulite...
Can compete with you... or any of those other broads?
Fat chance.
Stella, come here. Come here. Sit down.
Trying to force ourselves
upon him is only going to make things worse.
He's got to want to come to us.
Without that, it doesn't matter how much we feel for him.
We'll only drive him away. Love doesn't work on demand.
You've been through this before, huh, honey?
But can a man who has...
That many surprises up his sleeve be worth all the effort?
I think so.
I hope you're right.
Maybe I'd better hang on to that, huh?
This?
Sure.
Ah, Mildred. Thanks for coming.
I thought it best somebody spend
the night with frank-- what's left of it anyway.
This is the last safe place we can keep him.
Why don't you, uh, bed
down in miss Holt's office for the evening?
I can't do that, sir. Well, then, uh, use the couch out here.
Sir, I-- I came to tender my resignation.
Oh, Mildred, I'm stunned.
I failed you, sir, and on my first major assignment too.
You're referring tountimely resurrection.
It was a sucker play, and I fell for it just like a schoolgirl.
I-- I don't deserve the confidence you've placed in me.
Mildred, we all make mistakes.
No. Not you, sir.
No, I-- I can't continue here, feeling like a fraud.
No, I'm just a washed-up bureaucrat,
And I should be home knitting
instead of trying to be something that I'm not.
Come on, Mildred. Sit down. Oh, sir.
Have a seat.
Perhaps you don't realize this, Mildred,
But you are a tremendous asset to this agency.
You're intensely loyal, a dedicated worker,
One who relishes those
dreary assignments that most people detest.
You're just being kind.
Then let's talk about frauds.
Mildred,
You are looking at one of the biggest frauds you've ever seen.
- I'm not remington Steele. - you're not?
Well, not the remington Steele youthink I am.
Oh, I know I appear to be the supersleuth with all the answers--
Dapper, debonair, worldly.
But it's all an act--
One conceived by miss Holt that I work very hard to maintain...
In order to support this agency's image.
She's the real detective.
If I'm anything more than a figurehead, I owe it to her.
I've made more mistakes since
I've been with laura than I care to remember,
But I'm still here, Mildred.
So we'll have no more talk about resigning.
We'll find our way together, eh?
- until the morning then. -
Where's frank?
Upstairs, asleep at last, with Mildred at the drawbridge.
Incidentally,
I had a word with our miss krebs.
Did you tell her? Yes.
Everything? Within reason.
How did she take it? It was a bit of a shock,
but, uh, she'll get over it.
Must have been difficult for you.
Telling the truth is something I've always worked hard to avoid.
Past tense?
Increasingly so, I'm afraid.
You know, you're rapidly becoming the man...
I envisioned when I created remington Steele--
Honest, courageous,
Caring, good-humored,
Sexy.
I must say, it's satisfying
being able to do this without Mildred interrupting,
Phones going,
- bullets flying. - I agree.
I think we can eliminate barbara as a suspect.
That's one.
And nancy didn't harm frank
when she had the opportunity to in my bedroom.
- shouldn't that clear her? - two down.
Stella took barbara's gun, which means
she had the means to shoot frank, but it was never fired.
Besides, I don't think an
imaginative killer like the one we're after...
Would try to choke frank to death in a room full of witnesses.
Three out. Any more?
Tsk. I think that's it for now. That leaves terry and mary.
Terry's the least likely suspect of them all--
Shy, sweet, a college professor whose only excitement in life...
Is provided by victorian novels.
- which means it's definitely her. - how did you arrive at that?
It's always the least likely suspect you've got to watch, laura.
And at the moment, the only one I
could suspect more would be the butler, if there was one.
Mary had a violent reaction to frank's reappearance.
It was more than sudden shock that made her faint.
It was the horror of seeing
the man she murdered coming back from the grave.
Besides, she has an accent. Always a dead giveaway.
Hardly conclusive evidence, laura.
Some of the nicest people I know have accents.
Oh, please, people! This isn't getting us anywhere!
Well, maybe this will.
I gave that charm to terry.
Aha! But I also gave one to mary.
Aha. Why did you do that?
Well, I gave one to each of my wives.
Aha.
It was kind of a trademark.
Well, then, our job is simple:
Find out which of our prime suspects is missing that trinket.
Should work like a charm.
Frank! Mary.
What are you doing-- what are you doing here?
Seemed only fair to share him with everyone.
Eh, you remember me, um--
Sterling gillette. Ah, yes.
Of course. Oh, what a lovely bracelet.
- and what a lovely charm, eh, miss Holt? - lovely.
Thank you. I always wear it.
Frank gave it to me. Didn't you, dear?
Mmm.
All right, let's go. W-we got a job to do. But you just got here.
Frank, why don't you stay a while with mary?
I'm sure mr. Gillette and
I can handle everything to your satisfaction.
It'll be better for all concerned, frank. Trust me.
Honey.
I must say, laura, I think
you're taking mary's innocence quite well.
No, I'm not. Now remember:
This is a vicious killer who's tried bullets, arrows, hatchets.
Don't let appearances deceive you. She's capable of anything.
Aww!
I haven't-- haven't been able to stop crying since last night.
It's been hard on all of us. I can't believe it.
You see, frank is such a good man.
- the best. - he's-- he's kind.
The kindest. Funny.
- hysterical. - what a creep!
- pardon me? - how could he do this to me?
You had no idea that frank
was two-tim-- I mean, uh, five-timing you?
Here, take the whole thing.
Oh, oh, oh, my. Look at this! Oh!
Ohh! Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I was just admiring your bracelet.
-it's quite an unusual charm, wouldn't you say,
mr. Gillette? -remarkable, yes.
Frank gave this to me on our-- on our wedding day. You see?
There's our wedding date. Ahh.
Oh.
"2/11/83." Uh-huh.
Oh, my god!
Oh, mary. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy just being with you.
Oh, frank.
I'm so glad you've explained everything to me. Well, I--
It makes what happened easier to understand.
For a while there, I thought I'd lost you, but now you're found.
You'll never leave my side again.
That's the way I feel. Mmm!
Look at me. Hmm?
I'm a mess. What?
I wanted to look so special for you.
Oh, you never looked better to me.
Let me go clean up. I won't be long.
Uhh.
ThundeA TOUGH MAN TO KILL--
Not like the others.
- a real challenge. - I-I-- I don't--
But now it's bye-bye.
Stop right there mrs. Dannon!
Where is she?
Oh. Sorry.
I still can't believe it.
Yes, well, seven bodies
buried in a rose garden and all for their money.
Huh! No passion involved whatsoever. Well, I loved her.
If you hadn't, you wouldn't have
developed amnesia. It was the shock of seeing...
Someone you totally believed
in trying to kill you that snapped your memory.
- poetic justice. - what was that?
I said, it was so nice to see justice done.
But, uh, how did you know it was mary?
I mean, after all, she had the charm.
Yes, but we had the one with the date on it.
A lady who coolly conceived
seven murders was clever enough to realize...
That a missing charm might give her trouble,
so the next morning she went out and bought another.
Well, I'll tell you one thing: I've learned my lesson.
From now on, it's strictly the straight and narrow.
One job, one woman and one frank dannon.
I hope so.
- well, thanks for everything,
mr. Steele and miss Holt. - ah, yes.
And thank you, Mildred.
We want to talk to you, frank.
What about?
Your future.
Oh, uh--
Mildred, I understand you and mr. Steele...
Had a very important discussion last night.
Oh-ho, that we did. And it certainly was an eye-opener for me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think mr. Steele...
Would go to such lengths to try to keep me here.
I mean, do you know that he
actually tried to convince me that you invented him?
Ha-ha!
Oh-ho, anybody who can come up
with a story like that has my undying devotion.
Yeah. I'll fix you a cup of tea, boss.
Okay, Mildred, thanks.