It's on.
[all] What?
Uh-huh!
Stomp, stomp, Possums, Possums, stomp!
[all cheer]
Not bad
except for you two roach stompers.
Now, the jump is called "The Hurky" not a "Jerky."
Exciting news, girls!
We're going to the Maryland Regional Cheerleading Championship!
- [all cheer] - Yay, team!
Ooh!
Look, I know I'm hard on you girls
but I want you to know it's all out of love.
That is so sweet.
We love you, too.
Oh, freshies give the best hugs.
All that baby fat, you're just so soft and squishy.
♪ Sometimes in this life ♪
- ♪ You can feel all by yourself ♪ - ♪ Check one, two ♪
♪ But I have a partner ♪
♪ When I can't trust no one else ♪
♪ So don't isolate yourself ♪
- ♪ When there's nobody around ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh, oh, yeah ♪
♪ I'll be there through thick and thin ♪
♪ What a true love we have found ♪
♪ Me and you against the world ♪
♪ Living one on one ♪
♪ One on one ♪
♪ Can't nobody break this bond ♪
♪ Living one on one ♪
♪ Life has just begun Now we're having fun ♪
♪ Living one on one ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ That girl is pretty wild now ♪
♪ The girl's a super freak ♪
♪ The kind of girl you read about ♪
♪ In every magazine ♪
♪ That girl is pretty kinky ♪
♪ The girl's a super freak ♪
♪ I'd really like to taste her ♪
♪ Every time we meet... ♪
He's all right.
Oh, happy day, it's happy hour.
That guy on stage looks familiar.
♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪
That's Lenny Richburg from high school.
- [song ends] - Thank you, everybody.
Man, he's always been a bad influence on you.
Remember, he made you get that "S" curl?
That's why you got to wear a hat all the time.
I just hope he's over that bad habit of inappropriate touching.
- Yeah, that was kind of weird. - Flex and Duane.
How long has it been?
Oh, forever, man. What's up, dog?
I see you, uh... haven't changed a bit.
It's nice to see you two are still tight.
Oh, yeah. We're tighter than handcuffs on a rapper's wrist.
And I see you, uh... You're still singing any chance you get.
Oh, I just pressed another album.
I've got a bunch in my trunk.
[both] Ooh.
Do you guys remember the group we had back in high school?
Remember? Man, I put it together.
- "Midnight Gold." - [Duane] Yeah.
We were so cool with our name shaved in our heads.
You know, they're hosting an open mike contest here.
How about a reunion? Get the old group together?
Me do an amateurish open mike contest?
You know, all the old groups we competed against in high school
are going to be here.
The Red Lights.
- No. - Orange Thunder.
- What? - The Butterscotch Boys.
- Buttersco... - Buttersco...
Those chumps?
Mmm-hmm.
I say we do this.
Midnight Gold is about to go solid gold.
- All right! - Yeah!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Ms. Kim] All right, girls, let's go.
Explode! Ignite! The Possum team is dynamite!
We're dynamite, we're dynamite!
We're tick, tick, tick, tick, boom! Dynamite!
Oh, heifer, hold on to me!
[all shrieking]
Get off of me, girl!
Oh, my ankle! Why?
Why?
At the very least it's a bad sprain.
- Oh, God. - You're out for the season.
You're going to have to pick a new team captain.
But... But you need me to lead the team to victory.
No, you need an ambulance to lead you to surgery.
Now pick someone or I will!
All right.
Um, I pick... I pick Breanna.
Oh, wait, hold up.
For a minute there, I thought she said Breanna.
She did.
Well, Breanna...
Tiffany, are you sure?
Well, yeah.
Yeah. Breanna's got excellent leadership abilities
and the girls love her.
She's just an adorable little moppet.
Then I guess it's you, Breanna.
The first freshman to make captain...
since me.
Tiffy, I'm your best friend.
According to the cheer code, I should be captain.
I'm sorry, Angie,
but this has nothing to do with cheerleading.
This is just plain old playa hating.
Breanna flirted with my boyfriend
and she hustled her way onto this team, remember?
Now, by making her captain, she'll mess up
and then I'll be rid of Miss Bre-Bre once and for all.
Breanna, you're team captain. I am so jealous.
Girl, I can't believe it, either...
But trust me, I going to be way nicer
than that skinny, stuck-up, Tootie wannabe.
[knocking]
- Midnight Gold! - [all laughing]
- Flex! - Yeah!
What's going on, bro? Yeah!
Yo, man, I came to gig with the band.
Breanna told me Fool's Gold's getting back together.
It's Midnight Gold and Breanna's not here.
Flex, listen, I have a couple of ideas to help us win this contest.
I'm already on it, dog.
Check this out, y'all. Let's do one of our old songs.
Line up. Line up, fellas. - All right, all right.
Uh, what are we singing?
Our original cover to the classic "Tender Love."
- [Duane] All right. - What about something more current?
You know, the crowd tends to like songs they can sing along to.
Hmm... Nah.
[soft ballad playing]
No, you over there.
Come on.
♪ Here I lay all alone ♪
♪ Tossing, turning Longing for some of your ♪
♪ Tender love ♪
Breanna, it's almost 4:00 and half the squad is not here. [Chuckles]
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing.
See, Tiffany, your style is more like Bobby Knight...
loud, pushy and punishable by law.
I'm more like Phil Jackson,
soft-spoken, smooth and very well dressed.
No, that's Tito Jackson.
Okay, guys, let's get started 'cause we got a lot of work to do.
Okay, come on. All right. "Hustle."
Five, six, seven, eight.
H-H-H-U-S T-T-T-L-E H-U-S-T-L-E
Hustle, guys, hustle.
What's up?
We don't feel like practicing today. We're going to the mall.
The mall?
Okay, that's cool, cool. Good idea.
Um, get your cardio.
Oh, bring me back a Cinnabon.
Look like the captain job is a little more than you bargained for, huh, freshie?
[chuckles]
Seven, eight.
♪ Ooh-ooh, yeah-yeah-yeah ♪
[falsetto] ♪ Yeah... eah-eah-eah... ♪
Duane, you're really strong.
- Come on. - You know, since Flex is running late...
why don't you sing lead until he gets here?
I don't know, fellows. I'm kind of shy.
♪ I heard your name ♪
♪ I'll... I'll be your security ♪
♪ Love is a house, you got the key ♪
♪ Oh, baby, oh ♪
♪ So take me where you want to be ♪
♪ Open up and let me Into your heart, baby ♪
♪ Oh, look and you'll see ♪
♪ Love is a house and you got the key ♪
♪ Open up and let me into your heart ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah... ♪
D, you can croon.
What's stopping you from singing lead?
Hello.
Hey, guys, I'm sorry I'm late.
Something came up at the station but thanks for covering for me.
But I see you guys are warmed up so let's really rehearse.
- Come on. - Uh, Flex...
What do you think about Duane on lead vocals?
Nah.
Well, I think I speak for everyone here when I say...
we'd rather have Duane sing lead.
Nah.
You know, now... You know, he doesn't speak for me.
I'm very happy here in the background just...
Come on, D, you're a great front man.
You're a natural.
Hey, hey, Howard Hewitt, I'm the leader of this group.
Flex... Flex is right. Let him... let him sing lead.
But you're better than him.
Oh, ooh! No, no. No.
Just, uh... Just different.
I'm Michael, he's Jermaine,
sometimes I'm Janet, but never LaToya.
First of all, I'm the one who created this group.
And I'm Michael!
You know, the real reason we broke up in high school is because
we all thought Duane should sing lead.
Mmm-hmm.
I say we take a vote.
Who wants Duane to be our front man?
Well, that's three to two, Flex.
That's just three 'cause Duane and I quit.
- Right, D? Come on. - Uh... yeah.
Duane... are you sure you want to do that?
Uh... no.
What do you mean, you say no?
You supposed to be my boy. You supposed to always have my back.
But instead of Duane being back there...
Oh, what's that?
A big, fat knife.
Man, you supposed to be my boy and have my back.
But my back's getting kind of cold because no one's ever back there.
You know, you guys work this out.
Give us a call when you're ready to practice.
Yeah.
Man, I can't believe you play me like this.
Have you forgotten the neighborhood code?
- "Flex is always right." - Man...
Man, you were standing right there when they asked me to sing lead.
I was just as surprised as you were.
Yeah, but you had the opportunity to say no.
But instead you said, "He's the man, I'm Michael.
I'm sometimes Janet, but never LaToya."
And what?
What? You just want me to fade into the background
like I've been doing all my life.
"Fading for my father."
Fading for my uncle.
"Girl child ain't safe in a house of mens."
Every time your feelings get hurt, you go quoting some movie line.
Man, I've been two steps behind you all my life.
That's because you always needing me in front of you defending you.
How many times did I keep you from getting your butt kicked?
Man, I never asked you to.
It just made sense. I mean, you had that mutant growth spurt at 13.
And I stayed at a more sensible height.
The point is that...
you're just mad because I'm... good at singing lead.
And I'm not stepping down.
Well, you know what?
You can step by yourself...
'cause we're no longer friends and you're fired as Breanna's godfather.
"Until you do right by me...
everything you even think about is going to crumble."
Well, since we're quoting movie lines...
"Fredo, you're dead to me!"
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
Uh, take that. Shut up.
What? Does it hurt? Does it hurt?
You want some of this, Duane?
How about this?
You want some... huh, Duane?
Get up, shorty, huh!
Dad, can I talk to you?
They made me captain of the cheerleaders and they're not respecting me.
You want to know about respect, huh?
Respect ain't earned.
You got to go out there and you got to take it.
Learn from the greats.
Attila the Hun.
Uh... Genghis Khan, Tonya Harding.
Uh... you... You know what?
Forget about all my problems, okay?
'Cause yours are obviously much bigger. All right?
Come have a seat. Tell Bre-Bre all about it.
- [phone rings] - Excuse me.
Uh, that might have been Duane on the phone.
He left five messages.
I told you never to speak that name in this house.
I'm surprised you would let something as minor as singing lead
for some old, tired group come between you and...
he whose name shall not be spoken.
You're being petty.
[phone rings]
I am not.
You know what... Father?
Once in the fourth grade, my friend Dolly was a seat wetter.
And once she sat in my seat and then didn't tell anybody.
And then I sat in the same seat
and... everybody thought it was me.
And they all started calling me...
[sing-song] ♪ Breanna-Pee-on-uh ♪
The point is, Duane wouldn't pee on your seat. You know.
I see someone wasn't in the sixth grade with Duane.
You know.
Gee, looks like you're the captain of a big ol' nothing.
[laughs]
You know what?
You just still mad at me 'cause your boyfriend liked me.
Like I said before, I can't turn all this off, okay?
Now, watch me work.
Uh, excuse me.
You all are 20 minutes late.
That's five demerits.
Now drop and give me ten.
Oh, I know that freshie isn't telling me to do something.
Do it before I poke out your eyes and roll them like dice!
Oh, you're tougher than I thought.
Yeah, well, I decided I need to be more like you.
Yes, yes. Like a professional.
No, no. Like a witch.
[playing "Love is a House"]
[on stereo] ♪ I'll be your security ♪
[Flex lip-syncing] ♪ Love is a house, you got the key ♪
[song continues]
♪ Take me where I wanna be ♪
♪ Open up and let me Into your heart, baby ♪
♪ Just look and you'll see... ♪
Flex, we need to talk.
What are you doing here, man?
I checked around.
I called two priests, a nun and a street preacher.
Only God can fire me as Breanna's Godfather.
Well, if you're here to apologize, just hurry up.
Look, man, I've been trying to talk to you for days.
You don't take my calls. You don't return my e-mails.
You're worse than half the women I try to go out with.
Yeah, and you better stop showing up at my job, too.
And what is with that shirt?
Man, forget you, man.
Ho-ho-ho.
Look, man, since you're already here, why don't you just...
say what you got to say, man.
Look, we've been friends for years.
And in all that time it's always been Flex and Duane.
Never Duane and Flex.
It's cold here in your shadow.
I just want my chance to shine.
And what movie is that from?
It's a loose interpretation from Beaches... But that's not the point.
The point is this,
I've been your friend for as long as I can remember.
And I sure hope our friendship
isn't based on you always being in the spotlight
and me always drifting somewhere in the background.
That's from Yentl.
[upbeat music playing]
[cheers and applause]
[woman announcer] Our last contestant and host team...
the McKinley High Possums.
- Five, six, seven, eight... - [all] Explode!
Ignite!
The Possum team is dynamite.
We're dynamite. We're dynamite.
We're tick, tick tick, tick, boom! Dynamite!
Stomp!
What?
Uh-huh!
Say what? Dynamite.
Dynamite. Dynamite. Dynamite.
We're tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!
- Dynamite. - [Ms. Kim] Yes.
[cheering and applause]
While everybody was a winner tonight,
there are only two awards that can be handed out.
Second place
and a spot in the Maryland State Championship
goes to... McKinley High!
[cheers]
This... is amazing.
I worked really, really hard for this.
They have, too.
John Madden, eat your heart out!
You could have had a piece of this.
Oh, sorry.
And I'd like to share this with all of you 'cause we all worked really hard.
Give me that. You don't deserve it.
Yes, we do. It was a team effort.
My team. My trophy.
- Give me the trophy. - [yells]
My other ankle.
Why?
'Cause God don't like ugly.
Pizza?
- Your treat? - Uh-huh.
- Let's roll. - Let's go.
[woman announcer] And first place goes to...
♪ It was pain ♪
- ♪ Made for pleasure ♪ - ♪ It was pain ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪Ah ♪ - ♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Fire and desire ♪
[applause and cheers]
Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Chocolate Kisses!
[cheers and applause]
All right, we're on next.
This place is really crowded.
Stop looking. Flex isn't coming.
Look, just go out there and sing your heart out, man.
[MC] Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together for Midnight Gold!
[cheers and applause]
Come on.
No, man. What you doing, dog?
You got it, man. Sing lead. I got your back.
[mid tempo intro]
♪ I heard your name ♪
♪ You'll be my security ♪
♪ Love is a house and you got the key ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ To take me where you want to be ♪
♪ Open up and let me Into your heart, baby ♪
♪ Just look and you'll see ♪
♪ Ah, love is a house, you got the key ♪
♪ Open up and let me Into your heart, baby... ♪
♪ That's what I used to do... ♪
They deserve to win.
Yeah.
I like that background singer. She's... kind of cute.
I like the lead singer. It's kind of tight with hers.
I love her smile.
I really do.
♪ Ah... ♪
♪ One on one... ♪
- I love you, Daddy. - I love you, too, Nellie.