孩子们 这是一个在你们马修叔叔 Kids, this a story about the time your Uncle Marshall
晚些时日
去纽约州司法委员会前 发生的故事 went before the New York State Judiciary Committee,
一次决定他职业命运的审讯 a panel that would decide the fate of his career.
他以为他会有一个精彩的开场白 He thought he'd open with an icebreaker.
先说下 我有说过那些法官袍让你们看起来 By the way, did I mention those robes really do you all...
justice有公正和帅气两层意思 双关语
帅气极了 justice?
如果帅是一种罪 I'm just saying that you're all guilty...
你们一定罪恶滔天 of looking sharp.
行了 艾瑞克森先生 Mr. Eriksen, please.
你要在法庭上陈述一下 You're here to discuss
你在11月19日那一周的所作所为 your conduct in court during the week of November 19, 2012.
当然 法官大人 Of course, Your Honor.
一切开始于... It all started when...
一位法学院的"所谓的"朋友 a so-called friend from law school
骗我相信 conned me into believing
他需要我帮助他找工作 that he needed my help getting a job,
事实上 他窃取了我公司在 when in reality, he stole my firm's strategy
与格鲁伯制药公司污染 for our upcoming trial against
北部湖泊的庭审中的所有策略 Gruber Pharmaceuticals, who'd been polluting a lake upstate.
后来发现 他就是格鲁伯的代表 Turns out, he was representing Gruber.
打赢这场官司 不然就炒了你 艾瑞克森 Win this case or you're fired, Eriksen.
你怎么能这样陷害我呢 How could you trick me like that?
这是我职业生涯中最重要的官司 This is the biggest trial in my career.
也是我的 傻豆兄 Mine too, brobeans.
如果我赢了这场官司 When I win this trial,
我就要买一辆新车 I'm gonna buy a new car.
正在考虑兰博基尼 Thinking Lambo.
太棒了 不对 Awesome. I mean, no!
你到底怎么了 What happened to you?
你以前貌似是世界第一大好人 You used to be, like, the nicest guy ever.
我们曾是兄弟 We were bros.
比兄弟还亲 More than bros.
我们还一起吃过早午餐呢 We ate brunch together.
我会永远珍惜那一刻 And I'll always cherish that.
可是当卡拉无数次让我心碎之后 But after Kara broke my heart again for the millionth time,
去你大爷的善良 I said screw being nice,
穿上西装 用谎言得到我想要的一切 suited up and started lying to get what I want.
你确实做到了 That does happen.
但你说过 你要为弱势群体而战 But you used to want to fight for the little guy.
弱势群体给的薪酬也很弱势 Little guys pay with little checks.
你已经体会到了吧 But... you already know that.
你是个保护环境的律师 You're in environmental law.
马修 你有个孩子 Marshall, you have a kid.
你如何保障小家伙的未来 How are you gonna provide for the little dude's futche?
我担心的是地球母亲的未来 I'm worried about Planet Earth's futche!
所以我要在庭审中虐爆你 That's why I'm gonna kick your ass in this trial.
虽然你窃取了我们的整个策略 Sure, you may have swiped our entire strategy for this case,
但我还有深藏不露的招数 but I still got some tricks up my sleeve
而你一无所知 that you know absolutely nothing about.
真的假的 Really?
假的 No.
老爸 老妈 浪漫史 第八季 第八集 S08E08 Twelve Horny Women
翻译: Roy CIA_Kevin Abby 加菲猪 吵莓 校对: 园丁姐姐 Roy 压制: 加菲猪 统筹+后期: Roy
HIMYM字幕组 倾情奉献
孩子们 罗宾和巴尼最近正处在 Kids, Robin and Barney had recently shared
一段尴尬的时期 an awkward moment.
之后 他们做了成年人都会做的事 After that, they did what any two mature adults would do:
嘿 Hey!
你好吗 How are you?
超好 你呢 Great. You?
好啊 无敌好 Good, so good.
-真好 见到你真开心 -我也是 -Oh, great. Good to see you! -You, too!
他们装作什么也没发生 They pretended it never happened.
好了 伙计们 All right, guys,
这是马修职业生涯中最重要的案子 this is the biggest case of Marshall's career.
所以我们明天都请病假 That is why it's so great
不去上班了 that we all called in sick to work tomorrow,
一起去法庭上支持他 so we could be in that courtroom to support him.
我可没请病假 I didn't call in sick.
我给大家都请好了 I called in for all of us.
我得了咽喉炎 Uh, I have strep throat.
罗宾 支气管炎 Robin, bronchitis.
巴尼 大痔疮 Barney, massive hemorrhoids.
你有必要说"大"吗 Why'd you have to say "Massive"?
得了痔疮想请假 Well, if you're gonna miss work for hemorrhoids,
痔疮必须有点大 they kind of have to be massive.
我不想一整天坐在法庭里 I don't want to sit in a courtroom all day.
我敢说 得了痔疮是不错 就是哪都不敢坐 I bet you don't want to sit anywhere with those hemorrhoids.
我才没有 闭嘴 I don't have... Shut up.
看 你们就不懂 Look, you guys wouldn't understand,
当你们像我一样有这么多的犯罪记录的话 but when you have a rap sheet as long as mine,
你最不想待上一天的地方 the last place you want to spend
绝对是法庭 a day is in court.
犯罪记录 Rap sheet?
对头 That's right.
莉莉 当哥还是少年时 When I was a teenager, Lily,
哥绝对不是省油的灯 I was a total badass.
你们想聊聊小混混吗 You want to talk about teenage badasses?
约翰•高帝 一位牵扯到13起杀人案 以10项罪名被判终身监禁的人
我 简直就是穿少女胸罩的约翰•高帝 I was like John Gotti in a training bra.
说真的呢 I'm serious.
高中时候 在我和斯古特交往之前 In high school, before I started dating Scooter,
就连他都害怕我 even he was afraid of me.
莉姐过来了 Lily coming!
莉姐来了 Lily coming!
小伙子长得还行啊 You look okay.
想玩玩吗 Want to hang out?
呃 我妈妈说我只可以有三个朋友 所以 Uh, my mom says I'm only allowed three friends, so...
从现在开始 你妈妈不再给你定规矩了 斯古特 Your mom don't make the rules no more, Scooter.
我叫杰夫 My name's Jeff.
你不再叫这个了 Not no more it ain't.
你那个故事 我只相信 The one part of that story I believe
斯古特只有三个朋友那部分是真的 is that Scooter only had three friends.
哈 Ah!
他来了 Here he is.
圣克劳德镇的骄傲 The pride of St. Cloud,
我们熟知的 敬佩的 the environmental lawyer
伟大的环保律师 we've come to know and love.
他铁面 他无私 He's mean. He's green.
他没有系着昨天我送他的那条领带 He's not wearing the tie I bought him for the trial,
但我不准备小题大做 因为他就是 but I'm not gonna mention it...
马修•我本想说"领带好漂亮"•艾瑞克森 Marshall "I Was Gonna Say 'Nice Tie'" Eriksen!
感觉怎么样 大律师 How you feeling, Counselor?
呃 我一开始觉得 Well, uh, I mean, at first
布莱德那家伙真把我镇住了 that Brad thing had me rattled,
可我现在觉得不错 but now I feel pretty good.
我的意思是 至少 I mean, for one thing,
我没有长大痔疮 不好意思啊 兄弟 I don't have massive hemorrhoids. Sorry, buddy.
我没有长大痔.. I don't have ma...
更重要的是 不像布莱德那样 And more importantly, unlike Brad,
我确实有奋斗的目标 I actually have something to fight for.
老爸 多亏有你14年前那场经典审判 Pop, because of your precedent-setting
成为不朽的案例 legal victory 14 years ago,
让我这一代孩子还能在干净的湖中钓鱼 kids like me can fish in clean lakes
钓遍世界 all over the world.
当然了 孩子 They sure can, champ.
这是因为当你做一件善事 Because when you do one good deed...
会产生一种涟漪效应 ...it creates a ripple effect.
一个善举 One good deed
会引发一次又一次善行 leads to another and another.
老爸 你真睿智 Man, you're wise.
也许这就是为什么 That's probably why
我再也不用嗑药或者叛逆了 I never have felt the need to do drugs or rebel in any way.
不管怎样 Anyhoo...
第二天我们都去法庭 The next day, we all headed down to court
支持马修叔叔 to support Uncle Marshall.
耶 Yeah.
想知道我15岁时什么样子吗 Want to know what I looked like at age 15?
就是那样 There it is.
我不懂啊 那孩子没有在自撸啊 I don't get it. That guy wasn't masturbating.
是啊 而且那孩子内裤裤腰 Yeah, and the waistband of his undies wasn't pulled up
没有被提到童子军领巾的位置 to his Cub Scouts neckerchief.
泰德 Ted,
你从来都不是个小混混 you were never a badass.
正相反 Au contraire.
开始讲他的光辉历史了 Off to a good start...
我在少年时期 I was locked up
经常被锁起来 plenty of times as a teenager.
意思就是 Let's just say
Johnny Law特指法律
强尼•洛 从来都御不住 Johnny Law was not a fan
西区小泰迪 of Teddy Westside.
一定要把我拍帅点哟 Make sure you get my good side...
小公主 Princess.
你们想讲讲 You guys want to talk
和条子找麻烦的事儿么 about hassling the fuzz?
喝完它 斯古特 Finish that, Scoots.
好吧 Okay,
给我看一下你们的身份证 let's see some IDs.
斯古特 你闻到培根味了吗 Scooter, do you smell bacon?
给老娘笑一下 小婊子 Laugh, bitch.
哈 Ha!
哈哈 Ha ha!
你们两个 马上给我看下身份证 ID now, both of you.
你们当中 Which one of you
谁是伯谷由纪 is Yuki Hakutani?
正是在下 Right here.
这么说 由纪你身高1米85 生于1947年 So, Yuki, you're 6'1" And you were born in 1947?
答对了 你还识几个字呀 Congratulations. You can read.
巴尼•斯丁森 Barney Stinson?
哎呀呀 这不是华伦•弗兰克吗 Well, if it isn't Warren Frankel.
法警 Bailiff
华伦•弗兰克 Warren Frankel,
他最懂我 who knows me.
你没有戴着手铐我真差点没认出你 You know, I almost didn't recognize you without handcuffs on.
是啊不像过去 我现在成熟多了 Yeah, I've matured quite a bit since the old days.
现在我唯一戴手铐的时候 呃 The only time I'm wearing handcuffs now is, uh,
是在卧室里 in the bedroom.
玩捆绑 我懂的 Bondage. I get it.
呃 Well,
我有事儿先走了 I have to run.
别惹麻烦啊 Stay out of trouble.
混混 Badass.
总之 我可以证明格鲁伯制药公司 In summary, I will prove that Gruber Pharmaceuticals
肆意且故意污染了青蛙湖 wantonly and knowingly polluted Frog Lake
所以他们必须要为此承担不少于 and therefore must pay restitution of no less
2500万美元的环境赔偿款 than $25 million.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我来说下这事实 How's this for a fact:
青蛙湖原来是 Frog Lake is home
一群青蛙和鸟儿的栖息地 to a buttload of frogs and birds.
如果它真被污染的话 If it's so polluted,
鸟儿为什么不飞去一个干净点的湖 why don't all those birds fly to a cleaner lake?
而这些青蛙为什么不说 And why don't the frogs just be like,
你好啊鸟儿们 我能搭个便车吗 呱呱 "Hey, birds, can I catch a ride, ribbit?"
马修会把这小二逼虐得屁滚尿流的 Marshall's gonna wipe the floor with this ding-dong.
这可好 Oops.
我的笔好像掉地上了 I seem to have dropped my pen.
我反对 法官大人 Objection, Your Honor.
这捡笔的时间太长了 Nobody needs this long to pick up a pen.
本席特准 I'll allow it.
人生中最重要的庭审啊 而我已经丢了陪审员的芳心 The biggest case of my life and I'd already lost the jury.
我想说 I mean,
我听说过十二怒汉 I've heard of Twelve Angry Men,
《十二怒汉》是一部以陪审团为主角的法庭戏
但当时 更像是十二荡妇 but this was more like Twelve Horny Women.
不要离题 Stay on topic.
我没法和布莱德竞争 I can't compete with Brad.
陪审员们都爱死他了 The jury is in love with him.
休庭期间 其中一位女士直接跑到法院另一头 During recess, one of those ladies raced across the hall
去看看她能不能离婚 to see if she could get a divorce.
我非常确定这位法官的法袍下的 And I'm pretty sure there was some funny business
某个部位一定起反应了 going on under that judge's robe.
你们看见的那都不算什么 What you guys saw Brad do was nothing.
布莱德后来更过分了 He's taken it to a whole other level.
女士们 Ladies and...
还有陪审员女士们 ladies of the jury,
如果我看起来情绪低落 我很抱歉 I'm sorry if I seem down.
我的女朋友 My girlfriend
卡拉 Kara...
昨晚和我分手了 broke up with me last night.
好口年 Aww
她说我太懂得聆听了 She said I listen too much,
这算个什么破理由 whatever that means.
真口年啊 Aww... Aww...
这男人太难以置信了 Can you believe this guy?
真的吗 Really?
我都想看看我是什么样子了 Do I even want to see what I look like?
这 Wow.
太刻薄了吧 尼玛 That's, like, super mean.
然后 布莱德请来了他口中的 砖家证人 Next, Brad brought out his "Expert witness."
那么 贝德罗希医生 你的意思是 So, Dr. Bedrosian, you're saying
就算格鲁伯制药厂 that even if Gruber Pharmaceuticals'
不慎将药物排入蛙湖中 industry-leading drugs somehow seeped into Frog Lake,
但是这些药物能帮助水獭们 they could actually be helping the otter population
长出更厚的毛皮吗 grow thicker coats of fur?
我确定 Absolutely.
对于那些年迈的鸟类 And for the older birds, who...
那些也许床上功夫已经不及当年的鸟类 maybe don't perform as well in the bedroom as they used to,
能够确确实实地 could actually be having
拥有更好的性生活吗 healthier sex lives?
以我专业的观点来说 In my expert opinion...
行吗 yes...?
行 Yes.
所以 格鲁伯 So Gruber...
给予这些动物们免费的药物 is giving these animals free medicine.
那些你和我 估计得花一大笔钱才能使用的 Medicine that you or I would have to pay a fortune for if...
提升性爱体验的药物 we needed help in the bedroom...
当然我是不需要的 which I don't.
你好坏哟 You're so bad.
然后我明白了 But I realized,
如果布莱德能够叫来一位江湖医生来当他的首席证人 if Brad could call a quack as his star witness,
那我也可以 then so could I.
你们马上就懂了 You'll get that in a second.
来见见鸭鸭 Meet Paddles,
小水桨 the duckling.
嘎嘎 "Quack."
继续说 Continue.
小水桨在不久前 接受了三个月的治疗 Little Paddles here just spent
才得以康复 three months being nursed back to health.
为什么 Why?
对 因为他在蛙湖被发现时 Well, because he was found in Frog Lake
身患急性皮炎 suffering from acute dermatitis...
痛遍全身的疹子 因谁而起 ...A painful full-body rash, caused by who?
格鲁伯制药厂 Gruber Pharmaceuticals.
在这短暂而又光辉的瞬间 For a brief, shining moment,
我认为我都快赢了这案子 it looked like I might just win this thing.
但是之后 But then...
我到这所谓的污染的湖泊实地考察了一番 I took a field trip to this so-called "Polluted" Lake.
如果诸位同意 If you'll indulge me,
我愿意分享这段经验 I'd like to share my experience.
蛙湖 Frog Lake.
蕴藏着 Behold...
自然的美丽 nature's beauty.
污染了吗 Polluted?
被好时光污染了 Polluted with good times.
蛙 湖 Frog... Lake.
蛙湖 Frog Lake.
快来哟 Come on in.
水很好哟 The water's fine.
我自己拍摄剪辑的 I shot and edited that myself.
edit有剪辑和填补两层意思
我也会填补满你们的欲壑的 Yep, I edit stuff, too.
抱歉 艾尔德林女士 这里没有你的犯罪前科 Sorry, Ms. Aldrin, there's no rap sheet under your name.
那这样 这档案一定在我的街头外号 Oh, y-you know what, it must be under
头号小太妹 下面 my street tag: Number One Gunna.
没有 抱歉了 头号小太妹 Nope. Sorry, Number One Gunna.
下一个 Next!
这群饭桶肯定把它弄丢了 Those jive-ass turkeys must've lost it.
唔 他们一定是为了逮捕你这种 Well, they're pretty swamped
七十年代老咖弄得焦头烂额 arresting 1970s pimps like yourself.
莉莉 算了 Lily, let it go.
我不想自吹 但是我认为 I didn't want to brag, but I think
是时候声明 it's time to acknowledge
我才是真正的终极少年混混 that I was the ultimate teenage badass of this group
你当时是个加拿大流行歌手 You were a teen pop star in Canada.
-你唱的都是关于商场的歌 -嘿 -You sang songs about the mall. -Hey.
在北49路当个混混 There is a dark side to being a rocker on the road
是姐的阴暗面 好伐 north of the 49th.
嗯 谢谢 Mm, thanks.
嘿 Hey.
加拿大口音
我们收到一些举报 因为你这里噪音太大了 诶 We've received some noise complaints, eh?
能请您降低音量可以吗 Can you please lower the music?
哦 可以 可以 当然可以 Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
没问题 Sure.
双关 lower有降低高度和调小音量的意思
你说我顺便把电视也降低了 肿么样 How aboot, uh, I lower the TV, too,
行吗 yeah?
三小时以后 我被逮捕了 Three hours later, I was arrested
因为我喝醉了 光着身子开着一辆磨冰机 drunk, naked, and driving a Zamboni.
DUI全称Driving Under the Influence 醉酒驾车
唉 那次酒驾导致了我的保险费爆棚 Man, that DUI drove my insurance through the roof.
全体入座 Please be seated.
莫尔斯先生 很高兴能在早上见到你 Mr. Morris, good seeing you this morning.
艾瑞克森先生... Mr. Eriksen...
你也来了 you're here.
还有没有什么 嗯 Any, uh,
需要最后举证的了 final witnesses?
那个 法官大人 嗯 Well, Your Honor, um...
实际上 法官大人 嗯 我恐怕 Actually, Your Honor, uh, I'm afraid...
艾瑞克森先生 Mr. Eriksen?
法官大人 我传唤布莱德•莫尔斯来举证 Your Honor, I call Brad Morris
艾瑞克森先生 这是 Mr. Eriksen, this is
-非常不正常的 -我希望 -highly irregular. -I would like
莫尔斯先生脱掉上衣 Mr. Morris to remove his shirt.
異議あり！！
-本庭准许 -反对 法官大人 -I'll allow it. -Objection, Your Honor,
这也太可笑了吧 on grounds that this is ridonk!
反对无效 脱了吧 Overruled. Take it off.
急性... Acute...
皮炎 dermatitis,
向青蛙湖 courtesy of Frog Lake
和格鲁伯制药厂致敬 and Gruber Pharmaceuticals.
那才是混世魔王 That was badass.
所以 在最后 So, in the end,
有人说 你被迫"操之"过急了么 one might say you were forced to do something...rash?
被迫操之 Rash!
我也想到这个笑点了 但是莉莉让我删掉了 You know, I had that one, but Lily told me to cut it.
嗯 不管怎么说 Um, anyway...
接下来就剩判决了 all that was left was the verdict.
陪审团在此作出判决 我们认定 格鲁伯制药厂 "We, the jury, find Gruber Pharmaceuticals...
罪名成立 guilty."
太好了 Yes!
2500万美金的赔偿啊 $25 million.
那领带不仅仅有品位 还能给你带来幸运 That tie is not only tasteful; it's lucky!
我判决格鲁伯赔偿罚金25000美元 I hereby fine Gruber in the amount of $25,000.
现在退庭 Court is adjourned.
法官大人 才25000美元 怎么回事 Your Honor, $25,000? What just happened?
孩子 是这样的 格鲁伯制药厂可能污染了那个湖 Son, yes, Gruber Pharmaceuticals probably polluted that lake,
但我不能因为污染导致一些鸟儿得皮疹 but I'm not gonna ruin an important company
就毁掉一家重要的企业 just because they gave some bird a rash.
不 但那是几千只鸟啊 No, but it's thousands of birds,
-还有 鱼啊 蚌啊 乌龟啊... -是这样 艾瑞克森 -and fish and otters and turtles... -Look, Eriksen,
我不想打断你 I hate to cut you short,
但我有安妮的票 我老婆等着我呢 but I got tickets to Annie and my wife is waiting.
你居然有老... You have a wi...
...老精彩的歌剧要去看 won-wonderful show to see?
双关 guilty同时是罪名成立和是的
是的 拜拜 Guilty. Ciao.
你最好想清楚了 孩子 You'd best get your mind right, son!
游戏就是游戏 不可能没有输赢之分 The game is the game, and there ain't no winners.
你认识多少退休的痞子 How many retired gangbanger you know?
我要准确数字 Exactly.
巴尼... Barney...
你看看 check it out.
我在当年那些剪报里找到这个 I found my scrapbook from the old days.
我们现在很忙 沃伦 We're kind of busy right now, Warren.
我们正吓唬小孩改邪归正呢 所以 We're scaring kids straight, so...
-不要啊 不 -想当年 -No, no. -Barney was
巴尼曾经是我们魔术爱好者俱乐部最年轻的一员 the youngest member of our Magic Enthusiasts Clubyears back.
最拿手的是 手铐逃脱 Famous for escaping from handcuffs.
手铐魔术 哈 Handcuffs, huh?
手超级小 Very tiny hands.
那曾经是个秘密 That was his secret.
回头见 小手孩 See you around, baby hands.
所以 你不是因为你是个混混才认识的法警 So, you don't know the bailiff because you were a badass.
你认识他 是因为你们曾经都是死宅俱乐部的一员 You knew him because you guys were in a nerd club together.
在那里 你用你惊人小的小手迷惑观众 Where you dazzled audiences with your sleight-of-tiny-hand.
所以 我是个手部后发育的人 So I was a late hand bloomer!
继续吧 笑吧 Go ahead, laugh,
像其他人一样嘲笑我 laugh like all the others,
但那些能演出伟大魔术的魔术师们 but those magicians pulled off the greatest trick of all:
他们都包容了我 they accepted me.
好吧 那个 公平起见 Okay, well, to be fair,
我...也小小的夸大了 I... may have slightly exaggerated
我的混混经历 my badass story, too.
哦 对不起 谢谢你 清洁工 Oh, sorry. Uh, no, thank you, housekeeping.
我已经把床整理好了 I've already made my bed.
而且我只用了一条毛巾 所以 And I only used one washcloth, so it's...
恭喜你 亮晶晶小姐 Congratulations, Miss Sparkles.
我谨代表 On behalf
曼尼托巴省酒店 of the Manitoba Hotel
以及冰壶协会 为你作为本店住店行为最佳 and Curling Rink Association, we'd like to thank you
最有礼数的客人表示由衷的祝贺以及感谢 for being the nicest, most well-behaved hotel guest ever.
呀比 yippee!
真特么怂 What a loser!
泰德 你的故事也不是真的发生过吧 Your story's not true, either, is it, Ted?
完全没有 Not at all.
一定要把我照得帅一点哟 小公主 Make sure you get my good side, Princess!
无赖
俄亥俄州谢克海茨 文艺复兴集市
那天 当我离开法院的时候 I left the courthouse that day
我问自己我这一生到底在做些什么 questioning what I was even doing with my life...
然后那晚 我做了一个梦 and then that night, I had a dream.
对不起 儿子 爸爸失败了 Sorry I failed, son.
爸 那您那套涟漪效应呢 What about your Pebble Theory, Dad?
一个善举 会引发一次又一次善行 One good deed ripples out and makes another and another?
是么 Yeah.
当你把小石子扔进青蛙湖里 This is what really happens
你眼前的景象才是事实 when you throw a pebble into Frog Lake.
你可以穷尽一生去斗争 The truth is, you can fight
去做善事 到头来却什么都没改变 your whole life to do good and still get nowhere.
你错了 You're wrong.
魔高一尺道高一丈 爸 Some good's gonna ripple out of this, Dad.
我保证 I promise.
这下倒好 我激怒了青蛙王 Great, I've angered the Frog King.
那天晚些时候 的确有好事发生了 Later that night, some good did ripple out.
嘿 Hey.
怎么 你是来这幸灾乐祸的么 What, are you here to gloat?
不 我是来感谢你的 No. Came here to thank you.
因为你提醒了我 For reminding me
当初进入法学院的初衷 of why I got into law in the first place:
是要帮弱者伸张正义 to fight for the little guy.
这就是为什么 Which is why
我跟我的公司说"拜拜"了 I said "Hasta Lucia" To my firm,
然后在你的公司找了份工作 傻豆兄 and took a job at your firm, brobeans.
别这样叫我 Don't "Brobeans" Me.
你欺骗了我们 我老板绝对不会雇你的 My boss would never hire you after the way you lied to us.
我告诉他 我会用尽那些 I told him I'd take every last bit of manipulation,
操控审判的计谋和骗局 还有拣笔那招 deception, and accidental pen-dropping
曾用来对付你们的 我会用来拯救这个世界 I used against you guys and put it towards saving the world.
就算你说的是真的 Even if that's true,
我也不确定是否还能原谅你 I'm still not sure that I can forgive you.
那你会反对明天十一点十五 Would you object to an 11:15 brunch rezzy for two
在煎饼屋的二人共进早午餐么 tomorrow at the Popover Pantry?
本席特准 I'll allow it.
太好了 早午餐兄弟回来了 Yes! The Brunch Bros are back!
真感谢上帝我们当时我们和好了 因为 And thank God we were, because...
都因为一些他接下来说的话 well, what he said next
我才坐在这里 is the reason that I'm sitting in this chair.
说真的 Seriously,
真感谢你 让我的灵魂感觉到有一点点的救赎 thanks-- for giving my soul a little redempsh.
而且顺便说一句 那法官就是个白痴 And B-T-dubs, that judge was an idiot.
只有你这样的人 It's people like you,
这么有理想和远见 还有智慧的人 people with hope and vision and integ,
才应该坐在那个席位后面 做出决定 that should be behind that bench making the calls.
那时我才意识到我想当一名法官 And that's when I realized I wanted to be a judge.
因为法官 Because judges
才有那种影响力 去做真正的改变 are the ones who can effect real change.
这就是为什么我坐在这里 And that's why I'm here,
坐在纽约州司法委员会各位同仁面前 before the New York State Judiciary Committee.
我希望你们能考虑我 I hope that you will consider me
加入你们的法官席 for an appointment to a judgeship.
谢谢你 艾瑞克森先生 Thank you, Mr. Eriksen.
我们会认真考虑的 The panel will take this under advisement.
慢慢来 Take your time.
这可能要花几个月的时间 It could be a few months.
那我最好告诉我老婆 我不回家吃晚饭了 Better tell my wife I won't be home for dinner.
出去 Get out.
嘿 Hey.
-你怎么样最近 -呃 不错啊 你呢 -How are you? -Uh, great. You?
非常好... So gr...
我们能谈谈这个事么 Can we talk about this for a second?
好吧 Yeah.
最近我们两个之间变的非常尴尬 我不想这个样子 It is super-weird between us, and I don't want it to be.
我也不想 Me, neither.
那我说 就这样吧 So let me just say this.
我放弃了 I'm done.
你不用再担心了 You don't have to worry anymore.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
我放弃和你在一起的念头 I'm done trying to get you.
我不能再有这念头了 I can't do it anymore.
很抱歉 这么久我才明白 I'm sorry it's taken me this long to figure it out,
不过我保证 but I promise...
我不能再让自己像个傻瓜一样 I'm done making a fool of myself.
巴尼 你并没有让自己像个傻瓜 Barney, you haven't been making a fool out of yourself...
没事的 It's okay.
不用说了 It's okay.
我不想再提它了 I want it to be okay.
所以接下来就这样 So here's what's gonna happen.
我去给咱俩弄两杯喝的 I'm gonna get us two drinks,
回来我们讨论下 坐在吧台的那位红发女 come back and comment on the likely size and color
她奶头的颜色与大小 of the nipples on that redhead at the bar,
应该是又大又黑的 with the big, dark nipples.
然后你肯定被恶心死 And you're gonna be grossed out,
不过你也会觉得好笑 然后你要给我讲一些 but you're gonna laugh a little anyway, and then you'll tell
"贱人帕特里斯"的搞笑故事 a funny story about "That bitch Patrice" At work,
但是我们两个都不能说 but neither one of us are gonna say,
"嘿 你怎么样" 或者 "真高兴见到你" "Hey, how's it going?" Or "Good to see you!"
因为我能见到你 就很高兴了 Because it really will be good to see you.
觉得我们能这么潇洒么 Think we can swing that?
没问题 Yeah, I do.
无敌了 Badass.
谢谢你们的支持 伙计们 这对我来说意义重大 Thanks for your support, guys. It means a lot.
只要你有困难 我们立刻请病假过来 We'll call in sick anytime you have a problem.
莉爷来了 Lily coming!
莉爷过来了 Lily coming!
老娘才是混世魔王 Badass.
HIMYM字幕组 谢谢观看