0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:06,234 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:37,167 ( glass clinks ) 3 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:45,501 DO BE CAREFUL WITH MY CRYSTAL GLASSWARE, RICHARD. 4 00:00:45,501 --> 00:00:48,100 I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE WE TAKING ALL THIS STUFF. 5 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,834 THE PLACE IS FULLY EQUIPPED. 6 00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:54,300 YOU KNOW I CAN'T ENTERTAIN WITHOUT MY CRYSTAL GLASSWARE. 7 00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:56,501 THEY'VE PROBABLY GOT CRYSTAL GLASSWARE. 8 00:00:56,501 --> 00:00:58,534 AT BRUCE'S COTTAGE? 9 00:00:58,534 --> 00:01:00,601 YOU KNOW BRUCE THINKS THE HEIGHT OF TASTE 10 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:04,067 IS GLASSWARE ENGRAVED WITH NAKED LADIES. 11 00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:07,834 I'D SOONER BE STRUGGLING WITH A NAKED LADY THAN THIS CRATE. 12 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,334 OH! 13 00:01:11,334 --> 00:01:14,100 SHE RARELY LISTENS TO ANYTHING I SAY, 14 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:16,701 I'VE LEARNED TO APPRECIATE THAT OVER THE YEARS. 15 00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:20,801 POST OFFICE? GOOD MORNING. 16 00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:24,567 I WISH TO SPEAK TO YOUR HEAD POSTMASTER, PLEASE. 17 00:01:24,567 --> 00:01:26,701 OF COURSE, IT'S IMPORTANT. 18 00:01:26,701 --> 00:01:28,234 HMM? 19 00:01:28,234 --> 00:01:30,667 MY NAME IS "BOUQUET." 20 00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,701 SPELL IT? 21 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,167 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT JOB? 22 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,467 IT'S B-U-C-K-E-T. 23 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,634 NO, IT'S "BOUQUET." 24 00:01:42,634 --> 00:01:45,067 THANK YOU. 25 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:47,400 YES, I'LL HOLD. 26 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,501 "IS IT IMPORTANT?" WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? 27 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:53,801 GOOD MORNING, POSTMASTER. 28 00:01:53,801 --> 00:01:56,868 OH, YOU'RE HIS DEPUTY. 29 00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:58,701 HE'S IN CONFERENCE. 30 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,534 I SUPPOSE THAT MEANS HE'S NOT IN YET. 31 00:02:01,534 --> 00:02:05,300 I WOULD LIKE MY MAIL REDIRECTED 32 00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:07,701 TO MY SISTER'S LUXURY HOLIDAY COTTAGE, 33 00:02:07,701 --> 00:02:11,434 COMPLETE WITH PATIO AND BUILT-IN BARBEQUE. 34 00:02:11,434 --> 00:02:13,434 YES, SHE LIKES US TO HAVE THE RUN OF THE PLACE, 35 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,701 WHICH IS DOUBLE-GLAZED WITH A FULLY FIREPROOF THATCH ROOF. 36 00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:19,734 HOW LONG ARE WE GOING FOR? 37 00:02:19,734 --> 00:02:22,467 AT LEAST TWO DAYS. 38 00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:26,968 HANG ON, RICHARD! 39 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:36,634 OH! THANKS VERY MUCH, I WAS ON THE VERGE OF A HERNIA. 40 00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:39,534 - GOING AWAY? - JUST TO THE COUNTRY. 41 00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:43,200 YOUR WIFE GOING WITH YOU? 42 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,734 YES, OF COURSE. 43 00:02:44,734 --> 00:02:48,667 JOLLY GOOD, WELL DONE. HOW LONG FOR? 44 00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,434 TWO OR THREE DAYS. 45 00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:53,467 AH. 46 00:02:53,467 --> 00:02:55,534 STILL, BETTER THAN NOTHING. 47 00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:04,400 * SHE'S GOING AWAY * 48 00:03:09,734 --> 00:03:11,968 THEY WON'T REDIRECT OUR MAIL. 49 00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:14,133 NOT JUST FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. 50 00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:16,767 I FIND THAT A VERY CASUAL ATTITUDE. 51 00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:19,801 HOW DARE THEY PRESUME I RECEIVE THE KIND OF MAIL 52 00:03:19,801 --> 00:03:22,234 THAT CAN WAIT FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS. 53 00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:24,667 SPEAKING PERSONALLY, I RECEIVE THE KIND OF MAIL 54 00:03:24,667 --> 00:03:26,400 THAT CAN WAIT FOR TWO OR THREE DAYS. 55 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,601 SUPPOSE THERE'S A LETTER FROM SHERIDAN. 56 00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:32,801 HE NEVER WRITES, HE JUST RINGS UP WHEN HE'S BROKE. 57 00:03:32,801 --> 00:03:36,100 IT COULD BE IN THE POST NOW. A CRY FOR HELP. 58 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,434 HE'S HAD ENOUGH HELP THIS MONTH. 59 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:43,601 I MUST RING HIM WHEN WE ARRIVE AT THE COTTAGE. 60 00:03:43,601 --> 00:03:45,434 LET HIM KNOW WHERE WE ARE. 61 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,601 IN CASE HE IS SUFFERING PSYCHICALLY. 62 00:03:48,601 --> 00:03:51,167 HE MIGHT WANT TO CONFIDE IN HIS MOMMY. 63 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,467 HYACINTH, DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY 64 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,367 SHERIDAN SHOWS NO INTEREST IN GIRLS? 65 00:03:56,367 --> 00:03:59,033 DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TAKE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE ORNAMENTS? 66 00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:02,634 NO, NOT JUST FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. 67 00:04:04,467 --> 00:04:07,601 AH! THAT'S SOMETHING I MUST TAKE. 68 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,567 ( mumbling ) 69 00:04:25,934 --> 00:04:30,167 WHY DO YOU KEEP READING STUFF LIKE THAT? 70 00:04:30,167 --> 00:04:33,000 BECAUSE IT'S MY LAST FOOTHOLD IN ROMANCE. 71 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,834 I GET VERY LITTLE PRACTICE. 72 00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:36,467 AT LEAST I CAN KEEP ABREAST WITH THEORY. 73 00:04:40,634 --> 00:04:43,601 I'M SORRY I ASKED. 74 00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:46,000 THAT WAS HYACINTH ON THE PHONE. 75 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,400 TELL HER WE'VE MOVED. 76 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,701 THEY'VE BORROWED VIOLET'S COTTAGE FOR THE WEEKEND, 77 00:04:52,701 --> 00:04:54,868 AND THEY'RE HAVING A BARBEQUE. 78 00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:58,334 - OOH, LOVELY! - OH, NO! 79 00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:02,000 DON'T WORRY, ONSLOW, I DON'T THINK WE'RE INVITED. 80 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,434 SHE JUST WANTS US TO TAKE DADDY DOWN. 81 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,667 SHE FEELS IT'S HER DUTY TO GIVE DADDY A DAY OUT. 82 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,901 BUT SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY... 83 00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:11,901 WE WEREN'T INVITED. 84 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,467 - NO, WELL... - WELL! 85 00:05:14,467 --> 00:05:17,534 WE OUGHT TO STAY WITH DADDY THEN, DADDY IS NOT USED TO BARBEQUES. 86 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,501 HE MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE WITH HIS NEW TEETH. 87 00:05:19,501 --> 00:05:21,267 EXACTLY! 88 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:25,033 ONSLOW, WE'RE GOING TO A BARBEQUE. 89 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:28,400 THAT'S VERY INCONVENIENT. 90 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,534 ANYWAY, I CAN'T POSSIBLY TODAY. 91 00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:33,467 WHY? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ALONG THAT'S SO IMPORTANT? 92 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,334 THERE'S RACING ON THE TELLY. 93 00:05:37,834 --> 00:05:40,200 IF I WORE A SADDLE... 94 00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:47,834 PERHAPS, YOU MIGHT PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME. 95 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,934 I NEVER GO FOR THE REAL OUTSIDERS. 96 00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:57,467 YOU CAN WATCH RACING AT BRUCE'S COTTAGE. 97 00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,467 IT'S NOT THE SAME THOUGH, IS IT? 98 00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:02,033 OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN COZY ENVIRONMENT. 99 00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:04,000 WE'RE NOT COZY... 100 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,534 WE'RE NEARLY DERELICT. 101 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:09,434 I LIKE DERELICT. I'M INTO DERELICT. 102 00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:19,834 - RICHARD, HAVE WE RUN FOR MY-- - NO! 103 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:29,300 SHE IS, SHE'S GOING AWAY! I CAN FEEL IT. 104 00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,701 OH, I CAN FEEL MY EARS RELAXING. 105 00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:34,234 IT'S ONLY FOR TWO DAYS. 106 00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:37,133 I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT IT WILL BE LIKE A HOLIDAY! 107 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:41,100 OH, I'LL BE ABLE TO SIT IN THE GARDEN WITHOUT HER SINGING AT ME. 108 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,701 YIPPIE! 109 00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:47,067 - ( singing "The Blue Danube") - OH, EMMET! 110 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,868 HA, AND WHAT ABOUT YOU! 111 00:06:48,868 --> 00:06:51,801 TWO DAYS WITHOUT HAVING TO GO NEXT DOOR FOR COFFEE. 112 00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:54,601 - ( laughs ) - NOT QUITE. 113 00:06:54,601 --> 00:06:57,634 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "NOT QUITE?" 114 00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,968 WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, LIZ? WHY ARE YOU SO SUBDUED? 115 00:06:59,968 --> 00:07:02,801 HYACINTH-FREE! 116 00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:04,367 NOT QUITE. 117 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,434 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME. 118 00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,434 YES! 119 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,501 WELL, GO ON, TELL ME. 120 00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:20,968 HYACINTH WANTS US TO VISIT THEM THIS EVENING, 121 00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:24,901 AT THE COTTAGE, FOR A BARBEQUE. 122 00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:32,968 YOU DIDN'T SAY "YES"? 123 00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:34,634 I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, 124 00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:36,767 WHEN DOES ONE EVER SAY ANYTHING? 125 00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:39,100 WE'RE JUST EXPECTED. 126 00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,167 OH, DON'T CRY EMMET. 127 00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:45,868 I HATE IT WHEN YOU CRY. 128 00:07:59,601 --> 00:08:00,834 THERE YOU ARE! 129 00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:04,267 I TOLD YOU, THEY'RE GOING AWAY. 130 00:08:17,300 --> 00:08:19,334 YOU SAID "PUT IT SOMEWHERE SAFE," 131 00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:21,367 I THOUGHT YOU COULD HOLD IT. 132 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:48,133 THAT WAS QUITE A SEND-OFF. 133 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,200 WE MUST NEVER MOVE, DEAR, 134 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,701 WE'D BE GREATLY MISSED. 135 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:57,367 IT'S RATHER HUMBLING TO REALIZE HOW MANY FRIENDS WE HAVE. 136 00:08:57,367 --> 00:09:00,300 I THOUGHT MR. RIDLEY LOOKED RATHER SHABBY. 137 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,934 HE WAS JUST GARDENING. 138 00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:05,701 I EXPECT HE'S LOST HEART, POOR MAN. 139 00:09:05,701 --> 00:09:09,234 HIS WIFE CAN'T BE AN EASY PERSON TO BE MARRIED TO. 140 00:09:09,234 --> 00:09:12,267 I NEVER HEARD HER SPEAK TO HIM UNLESS TO GIVE AN ORDER. 141 00:09:12,267 --> 00:09:14,434 SOUNDS FAMILIAR. 142 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:16,667 TAKE THE NEXT RIGHT, DEAR. 143 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:19,334 'CAUSE WE ALL KNOW THE SECRET OF MARRIAGE 144 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,334 IS GIVE AND TAKE, 145 00:09:21,334 --> 00:09:25,267 KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING, TOLERANCE. 146 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,567 RICHARD, YOU SHOULD HAVE TURNED RIGHT THERE, DEAR. 147 00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:33,934 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED TO BARBEQUE. 148 00:09:33,934 --> 00:09:35,767 DONE BY YOUR HYACINTH? 149 00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:37,701 SHE'D BE POLISHING THE HOT-DOGS. 150 00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:42,701 THING. 151 00:09:42,701 --> 00:09:44,701 ALL RIGHT, WE'LL TAKE MRS. THING. 152 00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:48,267 - I GO AND TELL HIM. - OH! 153 00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:51,968 WELL, IF WE ARE GOING, WE BETTER TAKE A BOTTLE OF SAUCE. 154 00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:55,901 YOUR HYACINTH IS FAR TOO POSH TO HAVE ANY DECENT SAUCE. 155 00:10:03,501 --> 00:10:06,501 STOP PLAYING ABOUT WITH THE CAR, RICHARD, 156 00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:09,033 AND BRING MY ORNAMENTS IN. 157 00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,167 ( gun fires ) 158 00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:28,200 RICHARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? 159 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,567 DO GIVE ME A HAND, DEAR. 160 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:35,467 LOOK, THE TIMING OF THE BARBEQUE IS ALL IMPORTANT. 161 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:38,167 I WANT TO FEED DADDY FIRST, 162 00:10:38,167 --> 00:10:42,334 AND GET RID OF THEM ALL BEFORE OUR OTHER GUESTS ARRIVE. 163 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,667 YOU CAN'T JUST THROW PEOPLE OUT, THEY MAY OVERLAP A LITTLE. 164 00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:50,167 IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF THROWING PEOPLE OUT, DEAR, 165 00:10:50,167 --> 00:10:54,000 I SHOULD JUST INSIST THEY LEAVE EARLY BECAUSE OF DADDY'S BEDTIME. 166 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,567 DOES HE GO TO BED AT TEATIME? 167 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,567 HMM? 168 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:01,367 THEY'LL HAVE THE JOURNEY, 169 00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:04,334 AND HE'LL PROBABLY BE EXCITED. 170 00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,334 NO, THEY MUST LEAVE EARLY. 171 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:09,300 I SHALL RING THEM NOW AND MAKE THAT QUITE CLEAR. 172 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:22,501 * TRAMP, TRAMP, TRAMP ALONG THE HIGHWAY... * 173 00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:25,601 NO ROSE, IT'S NOT BORIS, IT'S HYACINTH. 174 00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:29,734 NO, I WILL NOT GET OFF THE PHONE, DEAR, 175 00:11:29,734 --> 00:11:33,334 I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A CALL FROM BORIS. 176 00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:37,567 I WOULD LIKE A BRIEF WORD WITH DAISY. 177 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,534 BORIS! 178 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,200 DAISY, DEAR, HOW ARE YOU? 179 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,834 YES, WE'RE HERE, SAFE AND SOUND. 180 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:48,234 NOT AS SAFE AS YOU MIGHT THINK-- SOMEBODY'S SHOOTING. 181 00:11:48,234 --> 00:11:49,934 SHH-SHH! 182 00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:53,300 I SUGGEST THAT YOU ALL ARRIVE HERE FOR THREE O'CLOCK. 183 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:56,167 IT'S A TEATIME BARBEQUE. 184 00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:58,801 WE DON'T WANT TO KEEP DADDY LATE, YOU SEE. 185 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,000 - DID YOU HEAR WHAT I-- - SHUT! 186 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,267 MRS. WHO? WHO ON EARTH IS MRS. THING? 187 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:07,434 POLISH?! "POLISH." 188 00:12:07,434 --> 00:12:10,501 WE'LL FIND OUT HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT, DEAR. 189 00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:14,133 YOU CAN'T KEEP CALLING HER "MRS. THING." 190 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,133 IF YOU'VE GOT IT WRITTEN ON A PIECE OF PAPER, 191 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,434 FETCH IT, I MEAN SPELL IT TO ME. 192 00:12:18,434 --> 00:12:21,701 IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT DIFFICULT. SHH! 193 00:12:23,634 --> 00:12:25,834 YES, I'M HERE. 194 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,133 I HAVE A PENCIL, YES. 195 00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,801 NOW, "ZED... 196 00:12:30,801 --> 00:12:33,834 B,Y... 197 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:38,501 G,N." 198 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:43,934 WELL, I WOULD SAY... 199 00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:45,934 ZABAGEDEGEU! 200 00:12:45,934 --> 00:12:47,934 ZABEU. 201 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,968 ZABAGEU-ZABAGEU-ZABAGEUGEU... 202 00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:51,934 ZEUBEUGEU! 203 00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:55,400 VERY WELL, IF HE WANTS TO BRING MRS. THING, I SUPPOSE HE CAN BRING MRS. THING. 204 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,400 OOH! 205 00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:08,033 - I SAY... - ( groans ) 206 00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:12,033 GOOD GOD, MAN, YOU'RE IN A STATE! ARE YOU A DRINKER? 207 00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:16,234 - NO! - WITH NERVES LIKE THAT, YOU DAMN WELL OUGHT TO BE! 208 00:13:16,234 --> 00:13:18,801 HAVE YOU SEEN A BITCH AROUND HERE? 209 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,801 SPRINGER SPANIEL, LIVER AND WHITE? 210 00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:26,033 NO, I'M AFRAID I HAVEN'T SEEN HER. 211 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:28,200 CAME THIS WAY BUT I FIRED THE SHOT. 212 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,801 THE DAMN THING'S GUN-SHY! 213 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,868 YOU'RE NOT THE USUAL ONE. 214 00:13:33,868 --> 00:13:35,334 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 215 00:13:35,334 --> 00:13:37,434 QUAINT CHAP, OWNS THE PLACE. 216 00:13:37,434 --> 00:13:39,667 - OH, BRUCE! - THAT'S THE FELLOW! 217 00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:42,100 HE'S QUAINT AS A �4 NOTE! 218 00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,934 HE'S MY BROTHER-IN-LAW. 219 00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:47,067 HE'S WEIRDER THAN MY SPANIEL BITCH. 220 00:14:01,501 --> 00:14:04,200 ( humming ) 221 00:14:09,901 --> 00:14:12,100 WHAT'S HE DOING TALKING TO SOMEBODY WITH A GUN? 222 00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:16,934 I WONDER IF IT'S THE LADY FROM THE MANOR HOUSE? 223 00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:19,901 THE ONE VIOLET TOLD ME ABOUT. 224 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,934 "ECCENTRIC BUT VERY WELL CONNECTED." 225 00:14:22,934 --> 00:14:25,734 HMM, I THINK THAT'S HER. 226 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,767 IF YOU DO SEE THE STUPID BITCH, 227 00:14:29,767 --> 00:14:31,734 WE'RE UP AT THE HOUSE, PERHAPS YOU'LL GIVE US A CALL. 228 00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,801 CERTAINLY, OF COURSE. 229 00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,400 WHAT'S THE MATTER, NOW? YOU'RE HAVING A FIT? 230 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,033 NO, I'M FINE. 231 00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,234 YOU DON'T LOOK FINE, THE WAY YOU'RE TWITCHING. 232 00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:55,601 - I HAD A COUSIN WITH A TWITCH LIKE THAT. - I'M NOT TWITCHING. 233 00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:58,000 HAD TO HAUL HIM OFF, FINALLY, TO THE FRUIT FARM. 234 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,501 COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED TO A NICER CHAP. 235 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:07,400 YOU ARE. YOU ARE HAVING A FIT! 236 00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:09,868 ( chuckling ) 237 00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:13,000 BRING THE LADY IN, RICHARD. 238 00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:16,067 SHE'S COMING IN. 239 00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:22,434 * I DO BELIEVE SHE'S COMING IN. * 240 00:15:22,434 --> 00:15:24,868 - AH! - IS THIS YOUR FELLOW OUT HERE? 241 00:15:24,868 --> 00:15:27,767 - MY HUSBAND, YES! - GO HAVE A LOOK OF HIM. 242 00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:30,000 HE IS NOT AS YOUNG AS HE USED TO BE. 243 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,868 HE'S HAVING A TIME! HE SAYS HE'S NOT, BUT HE IS. 244 00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:34,767 AND I KNOW THE SIGNS. 245 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:38,234 I'M FINE, I'M PERFECTLY FINE. 246 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:40,834 THEY ALL SAY THAT. 247 00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:43,667 MY COUSIN WAS STILL SAYING THAT WHEN THEY HAULED HIM AWAY. 248 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,567 REALLY? ARE YOU THE LADY FROM THE MANOR HOUSE? 249 00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:48,968 - THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BUNTY. - I'M HYACINTH. 250 00:15:48,968 --> 00:15:51,033 - OH-- OOH! - OOPS! 251 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,901 MY SISTER VIOLET TOLD ME ABOUT YOU. DO GO THROUGH. 252 00:15:53,901 --> 00:15:56,133 AH! 253 00:15:58,934 --> 00:16:00,601 WILL HE BE ALL RIGHT, OUT THERE? 254 00:16:00,601 --> 00:16:03,167 OH, YES, I OFTEN LEAVE HIM OUTSIDE. 255 00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:06,968 - OOH! - OH. 256 00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:08,968 MAY I HANG THAT UP FOR YOU? 257 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,067 - OOPS! - THERE YOU ARE. 258 00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:15,400 - I'LL JUST HANG IT HERE FOR YOU. - YES. HELLO?! 259 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,067 YOUR SISTER, IS IT? SHE'S MARRIED TO THE WEIRDO. 260 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,767 THE WEIRDO? OH, NO. MY SISTER IS MARRIED TO BRUCE. 261 00:16:28,767 --> 00:16:32,234 - BRUCE, THAT'S THE FELLA! - MAY I OFFER YOU A DRINK? 262 00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:35,000 WELL, NORMALLY, I'D BE GLAD TO, 263 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,133 BUT I'VE GOT TO FIND MY GUN-SHY BITCH. 264 00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:39,801 MY RICHARD WILL FIND YOUR DOG FOR YOU, 265 00:16:39,801 --> 00:16:41,801 HE IS VERY GOOD AT THINGS LIKE THAT. 266 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,200 WELL, PERHAPS JUST A SMALL ONE. 267 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,267 OH, BY THE WAY... 268 00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,701 STOP FIDDLING WITH THAT, RICHARD, AND FIND BUNTY'S DOG. 269 00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:05,734 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND BUNTY'S DOG? 270 00:17:07,868 --> 00:17:10,901 I WANT YOU TO FIND IT, RICHARD. 271 00:17:10,901 --> 00:17:12,801 IT'S QUITE IMPORTANT SOCIALLY. 272 00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:15,567 THE DOG? THE DOG IS IMPORTANT SOCIALLY? 273 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:19,601 I DOUBT IT, IF HE IS GUN-SHY. 274 00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:21,601 DON'T BE SILLY, RICHARD. 275 00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:23,601 JUST RUN ALONG AND FIND THE DOG. 276 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:27,300 I HAVE INVITED BUNTY TO THE BARBEQUE THIS EVENING, 277 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:30,434 ONLY I'VE GOT TO GET RID OF HER QUICKLY NOW, BEFORE ONSLOW ARRIVES. 278 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:36,901 RUN ALONG, DEAR, AND FIND THE DOG. HER NAME'S ZOE. 279 00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:39,801 I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING IN THE COUNTRY. 280 00:17:39,801 --> 00:17:42,434 YES, ISN'T IT, DEAR? 281 00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:47,934 AND WHEN YOU'VE FOUND IT, DON'T STOP PLAYING ABOUT WITH IT, 282 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,634 BRING IT STRAIGHT BACK HERE. 283 00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:57,234 THIS MUST BE WHAT THEY CALL "A WORKING HOLIDAY." 284 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,634 NOW, WHAT WAS HER NAME? 285 00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:04,234 ZOE! 286 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:06,400 ( police sirens blaring on TV ) 287 00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:09,934 COME ON, ONSLOW! 288 00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,367 WE HAVE TO GET READY. 289 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:13,901 YOU KNOW WHAT OUR HYACINTH'S LIKE ABOUT BEING ON TIME. 290 00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:16,667 ( knocking on door ) 291 00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:20,234 THERE'S MRS. THING! MOVE YOURSELF, ONSLOW! 292 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,667 ONSLOW! 293 00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:32,033 THIS IS MRS. PFFLAP-- THING! 294 00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:36,234 SHE DOESN'T SPEAK MUCH ENGLISH. 295 00:18:36,234 --> 00:18:38,133 HOW MUCH IS "MUCH?" 296 00:18:38,133 --> 00:18:40,067 NONE! 297 00:18:41,734 --> 00:18:44,400 AND THIS IS WHAT YOUR FATHER FANCIES? 298 00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:50,601 HE SAYS THERE'S SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS ABOUT FOREIGN WOMEN. 299 00:18:50,601 --> 00:18:53,534 THERE'S CERTAINLY SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE! 300 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:58,334 MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME MRS. PSTPSTLAP! 301 00:19:05,234 --> 00:19:07,234 WELL, HERE'S TO IT! 302 00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:15,100 THAT TOUCHED THE SPOT, I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. 303 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:24,000 I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO COME TO MY SELECT LITTLE BARBEQUE THIS EVENING. 304 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,000 - DO BRING YOUR HUSBAND. - MY DORIAN? 305 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,267 I WONDER IF HE'S AWAKE. 306 00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:30,767 HE NODS OFF A LOT THESE DAYS. 307 00:19:30,767 --> 00:19:32,400 JUST LIKE MY DADDY! 308 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,934 POOR OLD DORIAN! 309 00:19:33,934 --> 00:19:38,367 HE WENT FROM RAMPANT TO STAGNANT PRACTICALLY OVERNIGHT. 310 00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:41,734 - HOW TERRIBLE! - IT CHANGED HIS ENTIRE PERSONALITY! 311 00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:44,934 DADDY'S THE SAME. ONCE, SUCH A BRILLIANT MIND! 312 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,601 GOOD OLD DORIAN USED TO HAVE A BAG 313 00:19:47,601 --> 00:19:50,667 FULL OF SHADY HABITS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX. 314 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:54,300 NOW HE'S STRICTLY A HOMEBOD, GOOD AS GOLD. 315 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:56,567 BORING AS HELL. 316 00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:58,234 AHH! 317 00:19:59,701 --> 00:20:02,934 WELL, NEVER MIND. YOU BRING HIM ALONG. 318 00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:06,334 POOR OLD DORIAN, AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE HE IS THESE DAYS. 319 00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:08,400 IT'S THE DAMN DOG I CAN NEVER FIND! 320 00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,467 ZOE! 321 00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:18,868 WHERE ARE YOU, ZOE? 322 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:25,467 IT'S ALL RIGHT, ZOE, I HAVEN'T GOT A GUN. 323 00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:30,634 COME ON, GIRL. BE A GOOD DOG. 324 00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:34,133 HOW DOES ONE TRACK AN ANIMAL? 325 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:36,200 OH, FOOTPRINTS! 326 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,467 ONE LOOKS FOR FOOTPRINTS. 327 00:20:43,734 --> 00:20:47,067 I CAN'T EVEN SEE MY OWN FOOTPRINTS IN THIS GRASS. 328 00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:52,901 ZOE! ZOE! 329 00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:01,467 I SHOULD KEEP OUT OF THOSE NETTLES IF I WERE YOU. 330 00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,601 I'M TRYING TO, BUT-- 331 00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:05,701 THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE. 332 00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:11,067 I THINK MAYBE WE COULD DO THAT ONCE MORE. 333 00:21:11,067 --> 00:21:13,133 OH! ( chuckles ) CERTAINLY! 334 00:21:17,634 --> 00:21:19,501 I DON'T NORMALLY DRINK. 335 00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:22,601 UNLESS THAT DAMN DOG MAKES ME ANGRY. 336 00:21:22,601 --> 00:21:26,267 - DO SIT DOWN. - YEAH, I THINK I'D BETTER BEFORE I FALL DOWN. 337 00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,734 I DO HOPE RICHARD FINDS YOUR DOG. 338 00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:31,133 OH, SHE'LL COME HOME WHEN SHE'S READY! 339 00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:33,734 MORE THAN I USED TO BE ABLE TO SAY ABOUT OLD DORIAN. 340 00:21:33,734 --> 00:21:35,934 ( laughing ) 341 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,601 - EXCUSE ME. - OH YEAH. 342 00:21:39,601 --> 00:21:42,434 MY HUBBIE WANTS A WORD WITH ME. I'LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY. 343 00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:46,200 HMM, WE'LL CARRY ON. ALL RIGHT. 344 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,467 - HAVE YOU FOUND THE DOG? - NO. 345 00:21:49,467 --> 00:21:51,167 WELL, WHAT IS IT, THEN? 346 00:21:51,167 --> 00:21:54,267 I AM MAKING GREAT STRIDES HERE, SOCIALLY. 347 00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:57,300 THERE'S A CHAP OUTSIDE SAYS HE IS A FRIEND OF BRUCE. 348 00:21:57,300 --> 00:22:00,133 A FRIEND OF BRUCE, ARE YOU SURE? YOU KNOW HOW GULLIBLE YOU ARE. 349 00:22:00,133 --> 00:22:02,133 HE SAYS HE'S A FRIEND OF BRUCE. 350 00:22:07,434 --> 00:22:09,868 HE'S NOT A FRIEND OF BRUCE. 351 00:22:09,868 --> 00:22:11,901 THAT'S SOME OLD TRAMP. GET RID OF HIM! 352 00:22:11,901 --> 00:22:14,801 HE WAS VERY NICE TO ME. HE WARNED ME OFF A BED OF NETTLES. 353 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,801 RICHARD, I WILL NOT HAVE YOU 354 00:22:16,801 --> 00:22:19,968 DISCUSSING NETTLE BEDS WITH TOTAL STRANGERS. 355 00:22:19,968 --> 00:22:23,400 NOW GET RID OF HIM BEFORE HE HELPS HIMSELF TO MY CRYSTAL GLASSWARE. 356 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,334 - I DON'T BELIEVE THAT-- - OH, RICHARD, I'LL GET RID OF HIM! 357 00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:31,033 BRUCE ISN'T HERE. 358 00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:34,234 WELL, YOU'LL DO! WHY DON'T I VISIT YOU? 359 00:22:35,868 --> 00:22:37,100 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 360 00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:39,767 YOU ARE A STEADY CREATURE! 361 00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:41,801 WE DON'T GET MANY OF THOSE AROUND HERE. 362 00:22:41,801 --> 00:22:44,701 BRUCE COMES WITH THAT SKINNY THING. 363 00:22:44,701 --> 00:22:46,968 THAT "SKINNY THING," 364 00:22:46,968 --> 00:22:48,634 HAPPENS TO BE MY SISTER VIOLET. 365 00:22:49,734 --> 00:22:52,501 SWIMMING POOL, SAUNA, ROOM FOR A PONY. 366 00:22:54,601 --> 00:22:57,567 NOT AS BIG AROUND THE VERANDA AS YOU THOUGH. 367 00:23:02,067 --> 00:23:05,234 WAIT A MINUTE! WE'RE JUST GETTING ACQUAINTED. 368 00:23:06,634 --> 00:23:09,968 - WHATEVER IS THE MATTER? - HE INSULTED ME. 369 00:23:09,968 --> 00:23:11,501 WHO DID? 370 00:23:11,501 --> 00:23:14,100 A SUSPICIOUSLY SCRUFFY FELLOW IN AN OLD HAT. 371 00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:15,934 SOUNDS LIKE MY DORIAN! 372 00:23:17,901 --> 00:23:20,400 OH, IT IS MY DORIAN! 373 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,033 - HE INSULTED YOU? - WELL, NOT INSULTED-- 374 00:23:25,033 --> 00:23:27,167 HE'S NOT DONE THAT FOR AGES! 375 00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:29,501 HE MUST BE FEELING HIS OATS AGAIN. 376 00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:33,033 WELL DONE, OLD THING! 377 00:23:33,033 --> 00:23:34,801 THIS CALLS FOR A DRINK. 378 00:23:34,801 --> 00:23:36,501 GO ON, POUR ME ANOTHER. 379 00:23:36,501 --> 00:23:39,667 GO AND GET OLD DORIAN. 380 00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:42,467 BRING HIM IN! 381 00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:45,534 DO AS BUNTY SAYS, DEAR. 382 00:23:45,534 --> 00:23:48,267 FETCH DORIAN, DON'T KEEP HIM WAITING. 383 00:23:48,267 --> 00:23:51,033 THEY'RE AWFULLY WELL CONNECTED. 384 00:23:51,033 --> 00:23:54,400 ( slurring ) WELL, OFF I GO, TALLY HO! 385 00:23:59,267 --> 00:24:01,534 WAS THAT LADY, YOUR WIFE? 386 00:24:01,534 --> 00:24:04,167 - YES! - LOTS OF FUN, IS SHE? 387 00:24:05,601 --> 00:24:09,067 I CAN'T SAY I EVER THOUGHT OF HER IN TERMS OF FUN. 388 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,000 WON'T YOU COME IN? YOUR WIFE'S HERE. 389 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:14,901 IS SHE? 390 00:24:14,901 --> 00:24:18,501 - HER DOG'S MISSING. - AHHH! 391 00:24:18,501 --> 00:24:20,334 SHE'S GUN-SHY, YOU KNOW. 392 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,968 YOUR WIFE?! 393 00:24:21,968 --> 00:24:24,400 IS SHE? 394 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,133 I DON'T THINK SO. 395 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,400 NOT BUNTY. 396 00:24:31,467 --> 00:24:34,067 AND THIS IS A PHOTOGRAPH 397 00:24:34,067 --> 00:24:38,167 OF THE FIRST CERTIFICATE OBTAINED BY SHERIDAN FOR PENMANSHIP. 398 00:24:38,167 --> 00:24:41,434 - HMM. - HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL ITALIC HAND! 399 00:24:42,501 --> 00:24:46,167 AND HERE HE IS WITH HIS FAVORITE TEDDY, 400 00:24:46,167 --> 00:24:51,100 SAYING GOODBYE TO IT, AS HE LEFT FOR UNIVERSITY. 401 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:52,901 -Both: OHH! 402 00:24:52,901 --> 00:24:55,834 THAT MUST BE MY RICHARD AND YOUR DORIAN. 403 00:24:55,834 --> 00:24:58,300 OH! 404 00:24:58,300 --> 00:25:02,167 OH, DAMN LEGS! ALWAYS THE FIRST THING TO GO. 405 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,100 HELP BUNTY, WILL YOU, RICHARD? 406 00:25:04,100 --> 00:25:06,200 YES, RICHARD. HELP BUNTY! 407 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,434 I'LL ENTERTAIN THIS FASCINATING CREATURE, HERE. 408 00:25:09,434 --> 00:25:12,300 - OH! - AH-AH! 409 00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:15,801 GOOD OLD DORIAN IS BACK ON FORM! 410 00:25:16,801 --> 00:25:26,801 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org